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jumoonjae · 4 years

Text

Feelings

Pairings: Reader x Hyunjae x Q

Genre: Angst x Fluff

Warnings: None

Summary: A story of a love triangle (not really)

Having a guy as your best friend can really be tricky sometimes because when you're both single, you spent almost every time together and you somehow unconsciously developing feeling for him. It get worst when you enrolled to the same college right after high school. It was okay at the first two or three semester, you had each other by your side through thick and thin, knowing more every little thing about each other just like the back of your hand which resulting you to fell harder for him. Your biggest mistake was you were sure he'll never slip off from your finger.

But he did.

And you let him.

You felt the painful prick inside in every flesh of your heart just by the sight of his beautiful glimmering eyes every single time she walks by. You swallowed the pain that is in the form of a thorn and pretend you're not affected by it at all, and you thanked heaven for blessing you with the art of hiding your true feeling for him. You even encourage him to make a move on her just to make you facade more believable.

What a fool.

Because it was the only way for you to keep him as your best friend at least, just to keep him close to you even if he doesn't like you the way you like him. But how wrong you are.

He made a move to talk to her and she seems to be interested too. But then again who doesn't, Changmin is one of the most talented and charming person in the campus, everyone loves him even the lecturer. In no time, they were together, they were lover and you had to watch every single day he hold her like the way you always crave for, the affection, the looks and the kiss. But you smiled anyway, each time you met his eyes, or hers. She became your friend too, you couldn't hate her at all.

“I’m fine.” You lied one day when he hesitated to run straight to her or stay with you by the time she came into the view at the cafeteria.

“Go ahead spend time with your girlfriend.” You said nudging him with a smile.

“I’ll call you tonight.” He ruffles your hair with an apologetic frown which you shake your head to and he run to her while she waved at you so innocently and you waved back with the sincerest smile you could pull even when your heart dropped down to your stomach leaving it's place painfully empty.

He didn't call that night. Or texted. The frequent chatting and long conversation between you two started to die down until he barely contact you anymore. You missed him, but there's nothing you could do to have him back. There is nothing you can do.

Each day he spend his free time with her and barely had any time with you anymore. but you didn't want him to feel bad so you started to hang out with other people even if its never the same like when you're with him, it will never be the same. but you need to accept the fact that you couldn't keep him for yourself anymore, you want him to be happy even if its not with you, even if his happiness breaks your heart.

You need to let go because all those late night conversation that you both been sharing, all his problems that you can't fix for him, all his inner battle that never seems to settled. You think maybe she could help to put it to ease because you know you can't. if you could, you wouldn't have heard the same ranting every night. So you keep your distance with him just so you wont break his relationship, so you wont take away their happiness.

“That’s nice.” You heard someone spoke from your back as you done putting up the pictures you took as told by your mentor at the bulletin board where all the art student displayed their work. You look back and saw a tall guy admiring your work and you step back a little to stand next doing the same thing. It was the picture you took at the Han river during your night walk alone.

“Is this yours?” he asked pointing to the picture glancing at you then back to it.

“yeah.” You answered simply, looking at the still picture of the city lights taken by the bridge with blurry passer by.

“It feels so lonely, but peaceful at the same time.” He spoke and you smiled looking down, it was true what he said, you felt so lonely but is somehow made you feel calm that you thought maybe letting him go was the right thing. He's never been yours from the start.

“I'm Hyunjae by the way.” He held out his hand and you look up to his face which had the sweetest smile on that made you smile back and took his hand.

“I’m Y/N.”

Hyunjae took no time to be your friend, he was easy to talk to and you love his company. Slowly, you manage to bury your feeling for Changmin deeper day by day and Hyunjae did so much to replace him. Somehow he did it, he didn't have anything in common with Changmin but you like the challenge of knowing him anyway, it was always new thing every day, a pleasant surprise.

“Y/N.” Hyunjae chirped startling you in the process and he laugh at the way you flustered making you hit his shoulder lightly.

“What are you doing?” He asked taking a seat next to you at the cafeteria.

“Nothing, just editing these.” You pull the side of your laptop a little to show him your work and he lean over to take a closer look.

“You really are a talented photographer.” He complimented making you pushed his shoulder bashfully.

“hey i was wondering.” He leaned back to his seat pondering with his words, looking down to his hands while you paid full attention to him.

“I've got ticket for next week music festival.”

“Really? I didn't manage to get mine though, they've sold out weeks ago.” You frowned

“I got two ticket you know. So.. maybe.. you want to come with me?” you laughed at the way he adorably dragging his words and he grinned sheepishly.

“I’d love to.” You smiled and he did too staring into your eyes for a while before looking away bashfully. He had completely filled the void and help you put back you heart into its place, ready to love again. But you wait. You wait for it to heal perfectly so you can love Hyunjae with all of it without having Changmin ever crossing your mind anymore.

“You’re going with who?”

Changmin voice raised a little when you told him you're going to the music festival with Hyunjae. Its been a while since you both get to spend time with each other, you were finally feeling genuinely fine by it now that you have Hyunjae by your side. Its already the music festival week and Changmin probably didn’t want you to feel left out so he ask you to come along with his girlfriend. But when you said you already have a date, he was a little mad making you wondering, giving the sparks of feeling for him that you buried deep down a light. A dim light, but enough for it to slowly crawling back to the surface, but you ignore it.

“Why?” You asked, still walking a step ahead from him to the cafeteria.

“Since when do you became close with him?”

“Just recently, wait. It think its been two months.” You shrugged and he exhaled.

“Do you like him?” He asked suddenly making you stop on your track stepping a little to the side before turning back to look at him questioningly. You were actually asking him mentally ‘Are you jealous?’ but another word came out instead.

“He's a nice guy and what's wrong with that?”

“Be honest, you hang out with him just because i started dating aren't you?” you were taken aback a little by his words. It was true at first, you were hanging out with Hyunjae so you didn't feel empty anymore. But when time passed, he's been growing so much in you and you're started to fall for him.

“What? No Ji Changmin, as far as I could remember I have the right to date anyone I want my friend.”

“What?” He raised his voice again and you hissed at him playfully rolling your eyes.

“Hey.” You heard Hyunjae from the back snaking his hands around your waist pulling you close to him until your back touches his front and you look up to him instantly with a big smile.

“Hey you.” You coos ignoring Changmin who was crossing his arms on his chest in annoyance by the sight of Hyunjae hands casually touch you.

“I’ll pick you up tonight at eight okay.” He smiled sweetly making the butterflies inside you to rise full with pride.

“Alright I see you tonight.” You touch his shoulder trailing your hand down to his chest as he peck your cheek before letting him run to his friends. You look back to Changmin who was raising his eyebrow.

“What?” you chuckle continue walking to the cafeteria.

“I don't like him.” He stated

“that’s not nice Changmin, you barely know the guy.”

“its just been two month and he already being touchy with you and you let him kiss you.”

“It just a peck Changmin. Stop being over protective.” You shake your head trying to laugh him off.

“And besides, two month is enough even for us to sleep together.” You shrugged making his eyes widen in pure shock at your words.

“You what?!”

“I was just kidding you idiot.”

It has been full three month since Hyunjae first talked to you and you decided to confess to him. Your feeling for him was crystal clear and you had no doubt about his feeling for you. He had untie the tight knot that was constantly pulled every time you saw Changmin with his girlfriend until you felt nothing but happy for them.

In those three months, Changmin had slowly fades from you even when he was right in front of you or when they were standing in the same room, the first who catches you attention was no longer Changmin, it was Hyunjae. You were lying if the feeling for him had completely gone, but your feeling for Hyunjae were much more prominent and you were happy

“Are you going to the trip to see the cherry blossom?” Hyunjae asked when you both were having lunch at your usual spot at the cafeteria.

“I think so.” You answered still checking the picture you took leaving your food untouched.

“Yah, enough with the camera.” He whined attempting to take the camera away from your hand but you saw what he was going to do and turn your back on him with a giggle.

“Wait, I need to delete some picture first or else I’m going to forget which one to delete.” You reason out stopping him from taking it away.

“let me see then.” He leaned his chin on your shoulder and you showed it to him one by one.

“No don’t delete that, its beautiful.” He pointed out at the picture of the blurry crowd you took while you both was walking down the Itaewon streets and you looked to your side until your lips almost brushed his cheek, but he backed away just enough to give you space to turn your body.

“Its kind a blurry don't you think?” You showed a few picture with the same scenery until your head bumped into each other when you lean in trying to show him and you both laughed. his hand caressed the spot where his head had bumped.

“You always took a blurry picture and its nice, its your style, or signature.” He said while patting your head and you smile at him, thanking him for his sweet words.

“You want to go with me?” He asked again since you didn’t answer him yet, and you chuckle looking up to him, he was smiling like an angel waiting for you to answer.

“Who else am i going with.” You smiled and he smile back giddily crushing you with his bear hug.

“But why did you sounds like i am the only option? What about your friends?” he asked pulling his body away for a little with a frown.

“If you want me to go with them, then i’ll go with them.” You shrugged making him whined.

“no. I was just asking.” He pulled you back to his hug and you giggled ruffling his hair.

“I’m planning to take my mom’s car so we wont have to rush the bus and trains.” He let you go, pulling your food closer to you gesturing you to start eating and you complied by placing your camera on the table.

“What? Its going to more exciting taking trains and bus with other students don’t you think?” you suggested, imagining you taking picture of people having fun in the train.

“Hadong is a huge place, the last bus going to leave at six. You think its enough time? Besides i want to watch the stars from there, they said the sky is the prettiest there during the night.”

“We can spend the night there and catch the bus next morning.” You suggested making him stop mixing his rice looking at you all flustered.

“What?” you teased bumping your shoulder into his.

“If you okay with it then why not.” He scratch the back of his head nervously and a big smile creep on your face just by the sight of his giddiness. You turn back to your food and ate in silence with him doing the same. He really had been growing so much in you.

Far back from the corner of the cafeteria, there stood Changmin witnessing everything that tug something painful inside of him. He shake the feeling away and walked to the opposite side of your spot sitting with his back facing you and Hyunjae trying so hard to ignore the growing pain inside of him.

The long ride to Hadong was fun just like you imagined, all the students starts singing out of no where using anything as an instrument and you had a good laugh when some of then cracking the most stupid joke. You took some picture here and there and the result came out well. You and Hyunjae took extra clothes just as planned to spend the night and you really excited to see the whole thing.

It was beautiful, the place was filled with pink cherry blossom blooming beautifully and the way the flower flew when the wind blow just like a snow. Cherry blossom snow. It really felt like a movie with you standing under a cherry blossom tree with Hyunjae holding your waist while you taking picture. He will rest his chin on your shoulder everytime you show the result to him. If you had to describe how your feeling for Hyunjae, you will call it a blooming cheery blossoms.

“watch your step, there’s plenty of rocks and pebbles along the way.” He said handing you your twisted potato after helping you settles on the bench not far from where you both were standing.

You both walked until the end of the cherry blossom path where you saw a river and there's a kayak booth which you pull Hyunjae sleeves running a little in excitement, wanting to give it a try with Hyunjae giggling while being dragged by you.

But a voice stopped you from running, it was a familiar voice. You look back to see Changmin and his girlfriend rushing to both of you.

“What in the hell are you doing?” he huffed annoyingly at you not even sparing any look to your boyfriend and you were offended by the way he spoke.

“What does that supposed to mean?”

“you missed the bus.”

“And you're not?” You spat back annoyingly taking a step forward, your eyebrow twitched and he scoffed at your response thickening the tension between both of you.

He was beginning to get into your nerve since you started to date Hyunjae.

“We were there at the bus but he insisted waiting for both of you.” His girlfriend explained and you couldn't help to feel bad for her.

“We were planning to stay the night.” Hyunjae stepped forward pulling you back closer to him and you noticed the frown on Changmin's face when he did that. Was that jealousy? Had he figured that he had feelings for you too? But Hyunjae's grip on your arm pulled you out from that thoughts and you look back to him pressing your lips into a thin line, forming a smile.

“We will take the first bus tomorrow morning.” You said to Changmin's girlfriend trying to assure her by rubbing her arm and she nod with a smile.

“Okay where are you going to crash for tonight?” changmin spat with his annoying tone that really got into your nerve.

“I’ve booked a place for us, but i'm sure they have more place.”

“We should stick together.”

“Fine.”

For the first time in your life, you feel annoyed by Changmin's presence where he constantly interfere any attempted affection that you and Hyunjae trying to make while he trying to show off his own with his girlfriend which end up annoying her too.

“We should stop by the store first.” Hyunjae suggested and you nod while waiting for the bus to the motel.

“I'm tired, can we just go straight to the motel.” Changmin whined and you rolled your eyes shooting him an annoyed look and he just shrugged.

“you two can check in first, they had some place for barbeque at the garden by the hotel and we were planning to have one while watching the stars.” You told his girlfriend and she looked excited.

“So romantic.” she coos and you lean your shoulder to Hyunjae who was smiling at you.

“They said the night sky are the best here.” He throw his hand on your shoulder pulling you closer to him letting you snuggles to his chest.

“You can join us if you want.” he suggested to Changmin and his girlfriend which you shot him a look with a frown.

“What? Its going to be fun and i can get to know your best friend more.” He whispered and you melted at the way how hard he tried to get close to your best friend.

“Thank you.” You caress his hands with your thumb smiling up to him and he smiles back like he always did.

The night went well, but the conversation was mainly between you and Hyunjae while Changmin and his girlfriend seems to fall into silence only talk when being asked. You stop Hyunjae from trying to get close to Changmin by snuggling with him under the blanket where you brought just for the occasion while watching the stars.

You admired him while he was admiring the scattered stars up in the sky, looking at it like he was in love with it just like you're in love with him.

“Y/N can you walk me to my room for a while?” Changmin snaps you away from the most beautiful view and you sighed. He was tipsy from drinking a little too much and you could tell.

“Its okay, I'll clean this up and meet you at the room right after.” Hyunjae said helping you getting up and you nod letting him peck your forehead before leading Changmin into the building.

“Are you going to sleep with him?” Changmin asked suddenly after you both were inside the building.

“Yes.” You answered in a heartbeat even if you don't know whether Hyunjae is having the same idea with you, but you admit it anyway just so Changmin will stop bothering you.

“If i told you not to would you listen to me?” he stop walking making you stop turning your body fully to face him.

“Why?”

“Because I love you.” He said, petrifying you with his words, it was the word you had been waiting for years, a words that you always pray for so he will uttered it to you one day. a word that you’ve been dying to hear.

But that was before, that was you dream before Hyunjae and you were glad that it doesn't affect you like the way you thought it will be.

“I know you love me too. I know you love me since so long and i'm sorry for pretending that i didn't see it.” He took a few step closer to you but you didn't flinch. There were disappointment, but it doesn’t matter to you anymore. you didn’t care why he didn't do anything about it and keep it to himself. but you were curious.

“Why did you date her if you knew?”

“Because i thought i didn't feel the same way.” You exhaled at his answer looking down not knowing what to say or what to do with that information. But then he lift your chin with his index finger and leaned closer to kiss you.

You let him kiss you not knowing there's a pair of eyes that has been witnessing everything. When you kissed Changmin back, he shut his eyes only to see you smile to the kiss the moment he open his eyes. Couldn’t bear the pain in his chest anymore, he walked away from the scene.

“Changmin we had our chance.” You slowly push his body away from you, pulling yourself away from the dizzying kiss. It put your mind into a great mess, that your mind keeps buzzing like a static radio. but when other thing was blurry and hazy, one thing that stood out so clear, just like the picture you always took. it was your feeling for Hyunjae.

“Y/N please.” He took your hand placing it on his chest.

“You had your chance in all those years to confess but you didn't.” You let go of his hands holding your own.

“I'm not blaming you entirely because its my fault too for being a coward. But we had our chance Changmin, and we blew it.”

“and i'm in love with somebody else.”

“i’m in love with Hyunjae.”

“He saw us kissed.”

“No.”

“He just left.”

“You asshole. It was intentional wasn't it?”

“I just had to.”

“Hyunjae.” You called softly after entering the room that you both shared. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down to his hands. Nervousness starting to creep inside you by the sight and the silence from him. You stood there by the door looking down at your feet, hands fidgeting with the rim of your dress.

“You should sleep, we need to catch the first bus in the morning.” He said standing up with blanket on his hands walking to the couch just right next to the bed without looking at you. But you didn’t budge, still looking down like a kid getting scolded by their parents for causing a big trouble.

You bit your lips hard when tears starts to brimmed in your eyes. You didn’t even dare to blink, not wanting the tears to fall.

“I’m tired, can you turn off the light please.” He said and you look up to where he already lay down, covering his body using the blanket, his back facing you. You hold your sniffles and do as told leaving the room in pitch black.

“Hyunjae.” Your voice cracked and you swallow hard to make it easier your you to speak.

“I-I am so-”

“I’m tired Y/N. Please, let me rest. Its been a long day.” He cut your words, but not sharp enough. But it still hurts you. It hurts you because you hurt him and you didn’t even know how to explain.

With the help of the lights peeking through the window, you slowly walked to your bag and take your clean clothes and toiletries.

You turn on the shower letting the warm water run down your skin while you stood there looking into spaces not long before you break down, covering your mouth not wanting to be heard by him. It was the longest you ever cried, longer than the day Changmin asked his girlfriend out. It was even longer than when you bid your goodbye to your parents at the airport.

God, how much you love him, and now you’re losing him.

Hyunjae haven't spoke a word to you since the bus ride back to the city and you didn't dare to speak to him either. The ride was awfully silent and you could hear Changmin and his girlfriend giggled from the back seat. You couldn't help to think that they were mocking you both but you know they weren't. You suddenly feels empty without Hyunjae's constantly touching you like he always did when he's being excited over something or just feeling like touching you, or teasing you. He didn't even whined when you too immersed into the picture you took with your camera. You felt emptier than the time Changmin left you.

You didn't blame him for cutting every connection between you two after breaking up with you over a text and let you fall back to the loneliness. You didn't blame Changmin for not even consoling you after he heard the news of your break up with Hyunjae. You blame yourself for being you, you blame yourself for existing, for hurting people who had no other intention but to love you and you deserve the resentment that you get from him. You blame yourself for not figuring out your feelings for Hyunjae and didn't try hard enough to make him stay.

You were back to zero, alone at the cafeteria watching people and love birds walking around then get back to your pictures on your laptop ignoring the painful void inside of your heart.

You bumped into him the day after the break up, you didn't look away when you both walk past each other at the hall, neither did him. But he seems to had those indifferent look as soon as his eyes laid on you and you try hard not to show too much emotion when he's around. But it was hard, because you always saw him even when you’re not looking.

“Y/N, the portfolio that you emailed me. It was perfect. The four season portfolio.” Your mentor spoke when he saw you just about started to pack your things while your other class mate had already left. Its your routine since the break up, so you wont bumping into Hyunjae because your afternoon class always ends at the same time as his.

“It wasn't complete yet Mr Yoon. I was waiting for your feedback for anything that i should fix or re-edit.” You look up to him slinging your bag on your shoulder.

“I’ll send you my feedback later.” He said and you give him a bow.

“Y/N, I was wondering.” Mr. Yoon voice stopped you from turning on your heels and you look at him. waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“have you been fine these day?” He asked leaning his back on the desk, crossing his arm on his chest.

“Yes. Why do you ask Mr.Yoon?”

“I knew you're running a photography blog for a long time, i have to admit it was wonderful and i even think that some of the photo you posted there should have come in with the portfolio. But you recent photo, they seems lonely.” He stop when you looked down. He must have seen your blog update, but you didn't know that it was obvious. He's your mentor and also one of the psychology professor that taught about behavior, of course he could see it.

“I’m fine Mr.Yoon.” you finally look up to him with a forced smile. “Its just life-” your breath hitched and you swallowed hard trying not to choke on your own words.

“Its just life, those ups and down.” You inhaled looking back down avoiding his gaze.

“Don’t let yourself dwell too long in it Y/N. Its okay to look back sometimes, it hard. Even if our shoes don't fit, we had our own obstacle in life, we have our own way to move on. But i hope you'll cope.” You smile to his words before bowing to him as he bid you goodbye.

You went to Itaewon alone that night taking the path that both of you and Hyunjae had been taking, tracing back all the fond memories that you shared. You even went back to Hadong alone on the weekend doing the same thing you did with him, taking picture of empty spot where it used to be filled by him. It was sad. But you need to cope. Once you had your best friend, then you have Hyunjae. But when they both left, you had nothing. Only their memories. But the most prominent one is Hyunjae's. You want to relive them for the last time before moving on.

Its the hardest every time he saw you smiling and laughing at your friend's joke. He missed that and he still want to be the one who make you laugh. He hate you for being happy right after the break up, did you really moved on that fast? Did you really don't have any feeling for him? Or did you really using him to get back to Changmin?

But there were also time when he saw you sitting alone at the cafeteria, watching people walks by with sad eyes before going back to your laptop or your camera leaving your food untouched and it made his stomach sinks in guilt. The sight take him back to the night where he heard your sniffles echoes inside the bathroom that the sound of the shower couldn’t hide.

You loved someone else and its no point to keep you if your heart is unobtainable from the start.

“Hyung, why did you break up with Y/N?” Juyeon asked when he saw you walk into the cafeteria alone with your hands full with books and headphones on. He didn't want to answer that question. He's been dreading to answer when everyone asked, he's tired of hearing people saying that you both look good together and all.

“We're taking a break.”

Its the only thing he could came up with without humiliating you or him. Its sounds like he was expecting you to come back to him, it was an open answer, it was a message for you maybe one day when you heard what he said regarding your relationship, maybe. Just maybe you change your mind and come back to him.

It was pathetic and he know it, but the romance was short, so short that he wanted more. While he was trying to look away from staring at you, he saw Changmin seated a few table away from where he was and he was expecting Changmin to get up and help you with the pile of books on your hand.

But instead, Changmin didn't even look up from his phone and you didn't even spare him a glance, just walking straight to the far corner of the cafeteria settling your stuff on the table, sitting down and played with your phone without looking around.

“Hyung?” Juyeon snaps him away from staring at you and stammered at the younger guy.

“Get back with her if you want to keep looking at her like that.” He stated and Hyunjae just shrugged him off.

‘Weird' he thought, he swears he saw you kissed Changmin back that night. You even smiled to the kiss, but why are you both giving each other a cold shoulder. Why aren't you both together when Changmin said he loves you and he said you love him too. It hurt him when you didn't even denied it, he hate you for kissing him when you were his girlfriend.

He heard your voice in the art studio after helping a random girl who was carrying too much of a canvas for painting she said. He stood there just like the other day when you were talking to your professor.

“Is it true that everybody dies alone?” You asked, you sounded so weak, the light in your eyes faded by each passing day. At first he thought you were still saddened by the way Changmin still with his girlfriend but when he confront Changmin one day.

“We had our chance but I blew it. She's in love with someone else.” -changmin

But that is all what he get from the guy, Changmin still didn't want to talk to him. He started to think that you love him, not Changmin. But he wasn't really sure either, if your relationships mattered to you, you should have talk him out not ignoring him, so he did the same. Ignoring you even how painful it was knowing the truth that you love him.

“Does that scares you?” Kevin asks taking your attention away from the window where you both propped your chin on your palm on one of the table nearest to the window while sitting down watching the sun sets.

“I don't want to be alone.” You whispered under your breath but it was clear, so clear that it hurts Hyunjae at your words.

“You missed him?”

“I do. So much that it hurts.”

“Why didn't you tell him the truth?”

“He saw me kissed Changmin back. If you're at his place would you listen to me when I try to explain?”

“No.”

“I’ve made myself a fool enough by kissing Changmin back.”

“Why did you kiss him back?”

“You know how I feel about him before. It was a dream to kiss him.” you chuckle while Kevin scoffed at your words.

“But the thing is, when i kissed him, i was thinking about Hyunjae as soon as i closed my eyes.” You smiled.

“Its just that, i finally know that love doesn't feel the same way with each person.”

“What do you mean”

“when i was in love with changmin it felt like home every time im with him. Maybe Its because he provides me one when i move back here during high school, he gave me something to rely on when i had no one, or when my brother was too occupied by his baseball. Then Hyunjae came when there’s a hole in my chest, my heart that once there was gone when Changmin left, Hyunjae starts to fill it again, slowly but in a beautiful way. He made me feel alive again. At first i thought it wasn't love because it felt so different from Changmin’s. But i get it now, love doesn't come with one specific shape or sizes.” You sit straight stretching your limbs leaning back to the chair to ease your back.

“Love is an abstract, you can't see it, you can't feel it but you know its there, you know it exist. it changes through times. Its like painting, you put down whenever comes through your mind freely on the canvas, sometimes it look nice and sometimes it doesn't. people might don't understands what we're trying to convey but it doesn't matter, as long as we knew what is it, what it means to us.” You smiled looking down staring at you clasped cold hand before glancing to your friend next to you and he looked disgusted, making you giggled at his expression.

“You are disgustingly in love. Tell him you idiot.” Kevin throw his head back with a grunt and you laugh him off.

“I don't know Kev, I’m just scared. I'm afraid because what I did was wrong. Its wrong kissing someone else just to figure out who do you love. Its pathetic. Stupid.” You exhaled looking back to the dark outside world, wondering what is he doing right now. Who is he with, did he replace you yet, or did he suffers just like how you did. You chuckled to the last thought thinking why would he suffers for the one who treated him just like you did.

“He probably don't like me anymore.” You wanted to say hate, but 'like' probably could hurt less when you said it out loud.

“I never said that.” You and Kevin eyes snaps wide open when you heard another voice instead of both of you echoes from the silence. You know that voice and when you saw Kevin eyes were fixed to someone at your back, you didn't dare to look back.

“Okay imma go.” Kevin took his bag and phone, standing up and was about to leave you, but you manage to get a grip on his wrist.

“Don’t you dare.” You warned but he just smile and wiggled his wrist away from your strong grip and when you let go, he pat your head with an assuring smile.

“This is your chance, don't waste it.” He stroke your hair softly, smiling to Hyunjae with a curt nod before walking to the exit leaving you both in the studio in silence.

“Sorry i didn't mean to eavesdrop.” He said voice coming closer with his footsteps and you still didn't dare to look back. Your body numbed while your heart pounded so hard that you were sure your chest could explode anytime.

“Y/N.” He called softly when he appeared in you peripheral view, kneeling right next to where you were seated, you shut your eyes tight not dare to look at him.

“Sorry I didn't give you any chance to explain.”

“Sorry.” He repeated again but you still too scared to look at him.

“would you please look at me.” You felt his touch on your cold hand and you turn your head slowly, meeting his beautiful gaze. It was different from the past few week where they were cold and uninviting. But right now, his gaze was soft, warm and pleading.

“Hyunjae.” You whispered, holding his hand and he hold yours tighter.

“Can we please start over again?” he said, almost pleading melting you

“Even after what I’ve done?” you tilt your head to the side and he smiles wider bringing his one hand to your cheek, caressing it slowly with his thumb.

“As long as you love me.” He said and if your muscle wasn't strong enough, your heart could probably explode from the happiness.

“I do.” You crashed your body into him so hard that he almost stumbled back but manage to balance his body.

“I love you so much Hyunjae and I'm sorry for being an idiot. You can kiss other girl once and i dont mind.” You pull away, with your hand still rested on his shoulder, kneeling in front of him.

“Why would i want to kiss other girl?” he frowned and you stuttered.

“Just so we can even out or-“ he didn't let you finish by capturing your lips into his own and you kiss him back in a heartbeat feeling his lips moulded perfectly into your own into a long kiss.

“Let me kiss that pretty lips everyday and we're even.” He said after pulling away to catch his breath and rest his forehead on yours and you smiled breathlessly.

"Anything for my amazing boyfriend."

A/N: This was written before ‘Kevin Moon’ and it was meant for Changmin baby but I just cant hurt my Hyunjae, I’m so sorry. Things really had been hard on me lately (mentally) but i’m trying to get back on track (writing). This is not my best work and i am not in the best shape but i hope you enjoyed this one. thank you.

#the boyz #TBZ #tbz scenarios #the boyz hyunjae #tbz imagines #tbz hyunjae #hyunjae #lee hyunjae #hyunjae scenarios #hyunjae drabbles #the boyz scenarios #hyunjae imagines

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dangertoozmanykids101 · 6 years

Text

My Very Own Doubtful Guest, Chapter 1

"It came seventeen years ago - and to this day

It has shown no intentions of going away."

---The Doubtful Guest by Edward Gorey

A shiny silver Lexus pulled up in front of a California bungalow, nestled precariously into the western side of San Leandro Hills. The car door slowly opened and an exceptionally tall, lean man stepped out, stretching his hands up so high that he might've touched the heavens if he went up onto his tiptoes. His shirt, already a bit disheveled from driving in the car for an hour was fully pulled free, exposing his narrow waist after such a stretch.

He glanced around at his surroundings, as he continued to stretch his back, twisting this way and that, rolling his head forward in attempt to relieve the lingering stiffness in his neck. A little voice in his head scolded him: 'Buck up, old man! Stop whining and tuck your shirt back in so you don’t look like a hobo.' Meanwhile, a second little voice piped up: 'Or just take the shirt right off. Imagine, old man, how nice a massage would feel for those knots in your back. If you play your cards right...' For the moment, he chose to go with voice number one, and tucked his shirt back in. Voice number two was right that a massage would feel great. But today required diplomacy rather than a Don Juan.

His curly, dark blonde hair was brushed back off his face. His beard was trimmed short and more reddish brown than blonde. Of course, with a couple stray gray hairs invading his chin these past couple years, the beard may look blond again at some point. Or it might at least from a distance, he reassured himself occasionally.

The neighborhood was quiet, with narrow curvy streets that twisted awkwardly between the eclectic mix of houses. The buildings were uncomfortably close together and only set back a few feet off the street. This made it feel more overcrowded than it really was. Luckily most people were still at work, meaning a parking spot was available right out front. In a few more hours, once everyone was home for dinner, the closest available parking spot might be blocks away.

An older woman was working in the yard across the street. She had stopped working to watch as he stretched and unrolled his sleeves before putting his suit jacket back on.

He waved when he saw her, shouting, "Greetings, Mrs. Dixon! Your garden has never looked so lush! I can smell the roses from here!"

As soon as he spoke with that hypnotic British accent and flashed his million dollar smile, it was obvious that she recognized exactly which prince charming had stepped out of that luxury car. Mrs. Dixon's face lit up, as she waved back.

"Well, hello Tom! What a sight you are!" She started walking toward him, already giggling with excitement to see the man.

He quickly reached back into his car, and popped back up with a bright yellow sunflower in hand. Jogging over to the woman, he handed her the sunflower with a slight bow and a warm smile.

"For you, my Lady Dixon. To match your bright and sunny smile."

"Oh Tom. You are such a charmer! Now come down here to give an old lady one of those manly bear hugs. Why have you stayed away so long?" She held onto him stooped over for her as long as he would let her. Once he pulled away, she started rubbing his arms. "My goodness! You have really grown up and out! Heavens to Betsy, Tom! Look how beefy you are now! Last I saw you, you were still just a skinny, lanky boy. Look at you now! I'm going to put you to work, with all that muscle. You just let me know when you have time. I've got a list a mile long for ya."

"Will do, Mrs. Dixon! I'll be happy to help with whatever you need while I'm here." Waving to her, he walked back to the car while still wearing that smile that could melt an iceberg.

He would be happy to help her out. She had always been very kind to him, and generous. She could bake sweets fit for a king, or a Prince Charming, and his sweet tooth was no secret. The table in her home was always covered with cakes, pies, and cookies needing to be tested. It was a task which he happily obliged with raving feedback whenever given the opportunity.

He only grabbed one bag out of the trunk, he could bring the rest of his stuff in later. It was probably best if first impressions implied that he was just here for a short visit. Grabbing the bouquet of flowers from the front seat and locking the car door before glancing at his reflection in the car window, he ran fingers through his hair. It was a curly mess right now, so the motion was more of habit than a genuine attempt to fix anything. Taking a deep breath, a small smile crept onto his face as he finally started up toward the door, one step at a time.

He stood there a moment, staring at the house and gathering up one last much needed morsel of courage. With one last deep breath, he began the short walk up the steep driveway and even steeper steps toward the front porch.

The house looked the same it had ten years ago. Wow, had it really been ten years since he'd been back here? Had it been ten years since they'd even spoken? It was good to be back.

At first glance, very little had been added, changed, or improved. A few new plants out front and a new tree along the side, but otherwise it had the same pale yellow stucco with white trim. The window sills were peeling again. Maybe he could give those a quick scrap and paint while he was here. It would feel good to help out a little. Maybe a little home repair would help mend any broken bridges or residual hurt feelings.

He continued to just stand there, still staring at the house as a few moments turned into a few more minutes. A normal, considerate friend would have called first to ask if they could come visit. But when had he ever been a normal friend, let alone considerate. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself at the thought of how surprised she would be to see him after all this time. He could guarantee it wouldn't be a pleasant surprise at first.

She never enjoyed his spontaneity. In fact, she outright despised things that weren't planned out. That's what made surprising her all the sweeter, wrenching her out of her comfort zone. It wouldn't be any fun if it was easy. Besides, she would soften up and come around, eventually. She always did but until that point, he'd enjoy every moment of riling her up.

He fondly remembered how beautiful she was when she was angry and flustered. Of course, frequently he was the cause. Closing his eyes, he took a brief moment to remember those moments of perfection when she would finally forgive him.

Nerves and excitement mixed and made his heart beat faster. The whole drive from the airport he had imagined how it was going feel to sweep her up into his arms again in a tight bear hug. Yet as he stood there at the door, he just hoped she would still answer it once she realized it was him.

The doorbell still had tape over it. Maybe that was another thing he could fix while he was here. After a firm rap on the door, he waited while shifting his weight from foot to foot. Turning, he took in the view. It was breathtaking, absolutely breathtaking. Even on a hazy afternoon like today, the other side of the bay was still visible.

The view could look so different depending what time if year it was. They had spent so many hours sitting out on the porch, talking late into the night, watching the city lights twinkle, the planes pass over head, and the stars shift slowly as the night hours flew by.

After a few minutes of staring off into the distance, a car driving by pulled him from his thoughts. He turned back to the door and gave another hard knock. This time he heard commotion inside. Several voices shouting at each other could be heard before movement in the window caught his eye. A little curly blonde head with two eyes and a nose peeked out from behind the curtain.

Well, this was a surprise.

__________________

This is a reblog, since I can't find anything in my scroll anymore and Tumblr won't let me search my own blog.

This is also posted on AO3.

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