#if this isnt clear you're welcome to dm me

[butchmartyr]

Literally there are so many times trans men have been told to shut up because trans women have it worse.

Granted, a good chunk of those times it’s said by self hating trans men.

Look I’m not saying trans women should never get to speak, but like. Talking about the lateral aggression in queer communities that transmasculine people face is often called transmisogyny, when most of us don’t even mention trans women. You get me?

Idk maybe this makes no sense

second ask and full thoughts under readmore.

tl;dr: that sucks dude and it shouldnt happen but can we please talk about transmisogyny without making transfems do this song and dance about acknowledging trans men also feel transphobia every time we speak up? because ive said what im saying here several times and its starting to get really tiring that tme ppl arent listening lol. transmisogyny doesnt imply that other people have it better or anything, its just recognizing the unique and shitty ways that trans women get fucked over, you shouldnt see this in opposition to you! maybe read this post also

Idk how to explain where I’m coming from; sorry for two asks.

Again, I want trans women to be able to talk about their own problems. My problem is people — mainly people who aren’t trans women! — derailing any conversation about trans men’s oppression and making it about trans women.

For example, trying to change the discussion to be about what words people can use, claiming anyone who talks about trans men’s problems is a transmisogynist, etc.

And look, I think trans men can be transmisogynists, and should be called out. But I feel like… ugh idk how to word it. Like any trans guy who tries having a conversation about our own problems is going to be called a transmisogynist, even if the conversation has basically nothing to do with trans women.

for me, i can only speak from experience and ive seen very little of that happening, but ill trust you when you say that and say, yknow, that sucks, its bad and shouldnt happen? like. if this is about the post i think its about, my comment about that never happening was hyperbole to make a brief point before going back on topic, which is why i also said that if it does happen, then that sucks, because it does/would? like. im not your enemy, im not trying to silence trans men. ive lived my literal entire life constantly being socially silenced and ostracized, thats not what im doing. the focus on a throwaway comment is kind of irritating.

trans men should be able to talk about their unique issues and stigmas and thats a good thing that they should do, no transfem i know thinks otherwise. what ill also say is that what you're describing, talking about "lateral oppression in queer communities" often comes from a transmisogynistic place; my posts about transmisogyny should be about transmisogyny and, yknow, what im talking about, but theres at least a few trans dudes on each of those posts going on about how simply trying to talk with the language of transmisogyny is oppressing them. this is (trans)misogyny. its normal (even if it shouldnt be) for men to assume theyre being oppressed when they see women empowered, and thats whats happening here. like, literally just remove the word "trans" and youll see what i mean, this is an issue of gender and misogyny. you can talk about men's issues without pulling women down and acting like feminism is trying to push you down, yknow? i shouldnt only hear about this oppression and transphobia you face when i or other trans women are talking about transmisogyny, and yet it always seems to crop up in that way or else decry transmisogyny as a concept in other ways. like, the derailing thing you're describing literally has happened on all of my bigger posts about transmisogyny, and other big ones by other ppl as well! its extremely plain to see.

trans men should talk about the transphobia they face and they should be able to do this without getting blasted with oppression olympics but you should also recognize a lot of this transandrophobia rhetoric comes from a transmisogynistic place, especially because its often used and brought up in opposition to a trans woman talking about the extremely common intracommunity issue of tme people leveraging transmisogyny against trans women by leaning back on bioessentialism, clinging to cagab-based identities, and views of us being inherently "male" on some level or another. we are not your enemies, and you are not ontologically incapable of violence