#if y'all want I will also post some excerpts from my camilith playlist because some of those songs rly do make my brain go brrr

[foulbearobservation]

wanted to talk a little bit abt some of the references I listed in the end notes to bleed part 2 so here's some of them!

De Profundis by Oscar Wilde

this letter makes me feel human emotions that have been previously undiscovered. I feel like I experience shrimp colors when I read this letter. It was written as Wilde was in prison for homosexuality, and while the first part of it is Wilde's reflection on prison but the second part is all about christ as a romantic and artistic figure and just,,,,, GOD. I used this as an inspo for part 1 and part 2 and I think, more than anything else, is the string that binds these together.

also fun fact! domine non sum dignus (the latin part of the title in pt1) is from that famous quote "Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling, and Domine, non sum dignus should be on the lips and in the hearts of those who receive it". That quote is also why lilith kneels and why there's bdsm in these fics at all lmfao.

Domine non sum dignus roughly translates too "Lord, I am not worthy" which I used in the title for pt2 :) it's a fun little connection between the titles.

You can read De Profundis here.

2. On Love by Kahlil Gibran

This one is a little harder to spot but it was also the inspiration for the titles! this last section makes me want to chew glass.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own under- standing of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with grati- tude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

"to bleed willingly and joyfully" was the original title of pt1. I changed it after the phrase "to bleed is the sacred thing" came into my house and kicked my ass and refused to leave my brain, so "to bleed is the joyful thing" became the eventual title for pt 2. I love this poem so much it also makes me feel shrimp colors as emotions.

You can read On Love here.

3. The Devil Went Down to Georgia by the Charlie Daniels Band

I know my other inspirations have been very like. literary like poems and letters and stuff but sometimes u need a hoedown song to make you feel insane. The Devil Went Down to Georgia plays on the american southern gothic tradition of meeting the devil at a crossroads. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and I wanted to infuse just a little bit of home into this fic, so I used this. I felt like it was an especially powerful visual for lilith, who is metaphorically at a crossroads post-season 2. (also fun fact this was one of the first songs I learned to play when I was playing bass, in addition to this song having a banging fiddle line, it has a cool bassline too!)

You can listen to The Devil Went Down to Georgia here.

4. A Cornstalk Fiddle by notbecauseofvictories

This plays off of the song, but it's straight up one of the best fics I've ever read and you all should read it. Yes it is based on the charlie daniels band song, yes it changed the way I think about stories. sometimes fics can just do that.

You can read A Cornstalk Fiddle by notbecauseofvictories here.

Anyway those are the big ones! I just wanted to talk abt these references because they really did make a difference in my brain chemistry and if I do nothing else, I would like to infect everyone else with the shrimp colors of emotions that de profundis makes me feel