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#if you’re wondering how im doing perhaps you should look at the amount of punctuation in that paragraph
willowcrowned · 2 years
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OBSESSED with the use of fire in this episode and the way it both unites and separates Obi-Wan and Vader, because it’s their past, it’s the breaking of everything they were, it’s the moment that literally and figuratively burns away any chance Anakin has at regaining the life he abandoned, and now Vader is forcing Obi-Wan through that—Vader wants Obi-Wan to suffer as he has suffered and to lose as he has lost. He wants Obi-Wan to hurt, to break, to forget what he was as Anakin has forgotten but in doing so, in using fire, Vader reveals that he hasn’t forgotten who he was. The tragedy of Mustafar is not the burning, it’s the loss. The tragedy of Mustafar is Anakin’s final rejection of everyone who loved him. When Anakin forces Obi-Wan into flame, he’s not just replicating the injury, he’s trying to replicate the result. He wants Obi-Wan to hate him. He wants Obi-Wan to reject everything he was. He wants Obi-Wan to forget the before and think only on the misery of the present. If Obi-Wan forgets, then he can forget as well. But the fire separates them! The fire saves Obi-Wan! It’s a boundary again, this time not between before and after, but between Vader (who is the Empire) and Obi-Wan (who is the Jedi). It’s the same split as Mustafar, played out again in a different key. Anakin tries to break Obi-Wan, tries to finally move past that moment and what it means for what he had, and in doing so only brings them back to it again.
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what-the--curtains · 3 years
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Alliance
Chapter 9 – The Hunt
(Mando x f!reader)
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Summary: After recovering you set off to find the man who tried to kill you. Killing him proves to be more difficult than expected when the ones you love are threatened, and on the other side of the choice, your own future.
Authors note: One more chapter to go!! Some angst at the end here! Hope y’all enjoy ❤️❤️❤️! (I also did some very average fan art if y’all haven’t seen it yet!)
Tw: sex is alluded to (not depicted), decapitation, force choke
Word count: 4.9k
Tagged list: @crazycookiecrumbles, @seninjakitey
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The planet proved harder to find than expected, despite Anya's best efforts, something was fogging up her tracking causing your coordinates to be constantly in flux. She’d easily lead you past the outer rim, but since then it had been akin to a wild goose chase.
“Any idea who tried to kill you.” Din asks, he'd been exceptionally patient throughout the journey thus far. Never questioning your methods just typing in the new location coordinates calmly and re aligning the ship on its new course.
“Did kill me” you correct, as your hand moves absentmindedly over the healed wound. “but no, I dont. They had a lightsaber though”
“Was it a Jedi?” he asks earnestly.
“Well based on the context clues, I'd definitely say at least Jedi adjacent” you laugh, for a savvy strategist who knew multiple languages you sometimes found yourself questioning if his brain was in fact functioning.
“Why would a Jedi try and kill you?”
“Your guess is as good as mine”
“How do they decide on colors?” He asks after a somewhat awkward silence
“Hmmm” you hum out in confusion, only half paying attention to what he had said.
“The light swords? Ashoka's are blue, yours is purple and the figures, well there's was red” your heart stops.
“It was red?” you ask, sitting up in your seat giving him your undivided attention.
“Ya does that mean something?” He watches your eyes slowly piecing together what he'd just told you.
“That’s impossible, the Sith were defeated. They died with the emperor.” you affirm, your sure red was a common colour used by Jedi nowadays, sure no one had ever seen one before, but there was a first time for everything right?
“So were the Jedi.” he points out.
“Do you always have to be right?” you ask slightly irritated for a reason you couldn’t quite explain. He doesn't respond; he knows a rhetorical question when he hears one but unsure what he had done to upset you. An uncomfortable silence lingers in the air, a sensation you'd never experienced with the Mandalorian before. Not wanting to stew in the quiet you head down to the lower levels and try and calm your frazzled mind. Sitting down you cross your legs, one over the other, as you close your eyes.
On the best of days meditating was a chore, but under the current situation it had become an impossible task. It wasn’t the threat of being ambushed that had you distracted, no something else was playing heavily on your mind. It was what was causing the punctuated silences, forced conversation and overall awkwardness in the atmosphere. It was your own doing. Seriously, who kisses a man whose face they've never seen! Idiots that's who and now it was stuck on your mind. In your defense you thought you wouldn't have to deal with the fallout so quickly. You should have known he’d have insisted on going with you, but you hadn't thought that far ahead, or at all and now you had to sit with the fact that you’d possibly ruined your comfortable friendship by planting one on him. Technically it wasn’t a real kiss,or maybe it was, how did Mandalorians kiss anyways? There you were down the rabbit hole again, this is why you couldn't focus, you curse yourself. Shaking your head you remind yourself it was only done in an attempt to get around him, a strategic move to protect the group, nothing more, nothing less. Keeping that in mind you manage to focus and you feel the galaxy's pulse emitting throughout the ship, inhaling and exhaling with the undulations around you.
Din, bored and missing the usually witty banter you offered him, decided it was time for him to clear the air in regards to the kiss. He hopes by telling you that he knew it was only done to get around him, you’d become more relaxed. The last thing he wanted was for you to be uncomfortable around him. He knew you'd never want to be with someone like him, at least in that way. As he turns around he sees you cross legged floating in the air, not wanting to interrupt he heads back up. Anya lifts her head as he re-enters, looking at him as if she knew what he was thinking. He’ll clear the air with you later, the two of you had plenty of time to talk.
You curse as your journey gets rerouted for what had to be the twelfth time in the past two days. Whoever was hunting you did not want to be found and no amount of swearing or whacking the console would change that. The closer you got to your destination the more you felt the malevolent presence grow. You found yourself wondering if it had always been with you, finding it hard to remember a time when it wasn't gnawing at your conscience. Each time you feel it scratching at your doors you remember Ashoka's words “be careful who you let into your head.” You'd made that mistake once with devastating consequences. You would not be making it again. Your energy was now primarily being spent keeping the presence at bay, not allowing it to penetrate any deeper than it already had. Sleeping only acted as an open invitation for the figure to torture you so you opted to forgo it altogether. Perhaps not the wisest decision, but what other choice did you have.
“The planet’s still a few days away.” Din says, noting the unraveled look in your eyes as you take your place next to him.
“Anything to do on this ship.” You ask, fidgeting in your seat. “like games or something” he doesn't respond “Hey beskar head! You awake under that helmet?”. You ask partially joking, partially annoyed that he wasn't talking to you.
“Yes.”
“Yes to games or yes to being awake?”
“To games” you smile, you never knew if he was actually making jokes or if you were just reading into it. The finer details of his personality artfully hidden beneath the metal exterior.
“Got Dejarik, you know how to play?” he asks, glad that you were back to yourself for the time being.
“I'm alright” you say smiling, you were better than alright, at least you think. To be fair you'd only ever played against one person and she was family and probably inclined to letting you win.
“You're cheating!” he exclaims, his annoyance apparent even through the modulator. Your skills were better than you expected especially after all those years, well either that or the Mandalorian was just that bad.
“How?” you ask, laughing at how frustrated he was getting. It was funny when you beat him the second time, but by gods it was even funnier when you beat him the seventh time.
“The force!” He says clenching his hand as he stares down at the board.
“I don't think the force bothers itself with helping me beat you at Dejarik.” you point out, as he grumbles something indistinguishable.
“Maybe you're just not as good as you think you are.” You tease pointing your finger at him eyebrows raised and a smirk plastered on your face.
“That’s not what I’ve been told,” he responds.
“About Dejarik or?” he laughs it off, but you seriously wanted to know the answer. After Cara told you he was allowed to have sex it was a question that you’d thought about a lot, more than you probably should have, but hey you were curious. Realizing the Mandalorian was now turning the game board over to see if it was rigged, you decide to change games.
“You still got that indestructible spear. The beskar one?” you ask nonchalantly.
“Yes, not something i'm planning on losing” he nods
“Fancy a match?” you offer you needed to work on your fighting skills, practicing on the air only went so far.
“Only if you promise not to slice through my ship.” He says, standing up.
“Only if you promise not to cry when I beat you.” you return causing him to scoff
“Oh im not going to be the one crying” he assures.
You stand in the ship's far corner across from Din who haphazardly twirls the spear in his hand as you open up your saber, raising it waiting for him to make the first move. He stays his ground, you and him were both defensive fighters and you knew he was far too stubborn to change his routine. Leaping forward you land in front of him, your saber making contact with the spear. After a few seconds spent testing his strength you know there's no feasible way for you to out muscle him. You'd have to out maneuver him. He’d seen you fight stronger opponents before so you’d have to think outside the box on this one. You move out from under the spear the release of your counter force causing Din to stumble forward. You turn aiming for his shin, but his arm reaches back the spear stopping your hit from connecting with his armour. You circle round him so you're once again face to face giving him enough time to stand back up. He turns quickly, swinging the spear as he does, aiming for your waist. You jump over the swipe landing behind him, hitting him in the back.
“Point to me.” you say
“No using the force” he says, turning to look down at you, his presence suddenly looming.
“I wasn't, I can just jump really high!” You lie.
“Likely story” he says brushing past you as he moves back to his starting spot
“What was that I said about crying earlier?” you question.
He's got you talking too long and he sweeps your feet out from under you knocking you on your ass and gently tapping you on the head with the spear.
“Point me” he says, offering you his hand.
“That was dirty” you say as he hoists you up.
“Who says we're playing clean sweetheart?” The term catches both of you off guard, but he's flustered himself more than you, allowing you to land the next two points.
“Hope your ego isn't too hurt darling.” you mock back at him as metal and light collide once again.
“It’s not over yet” he says, using all his strength to march you back towards the wall pinning you against it with his spear.
“You need to work on your attack, you leave a lot open” he says, breathing heavily.
“You need to work on a codpiece, it leaves a lot open” you retort, kneeing him in the groin, hard enough for him to drop you, but not so hard that it kept him down for long.
“Not enough beskar” he murmurs, hoping to get the last word in.
“Oh big brag for a man who just lost several games of Dejarik in a row and” your sentence is cut short as the spear taps the small of your back giving him the winning point
“And what?”
“Oh real classy Din, can’t win a fair fight” you say hand on your hip.
“It was fair considering I wasn't going 100%”
‘Oh you weren't” you mock, the smile telling him you were amused and not upset by his antics, the gentle slap on his arm further verifying this. The moments like this were nice, but as you continue to gain on your target they became fleeting. The Mandalorian watches as your ability to focus waivers, your frustration becoming increasingly evident in your training. Miraculously, you hadn't sliced through anything important, but the ship’s interior was constantly needing to be patched up. At least it kept him occupied and out of your hair. You looked like you were fighting a hidden battle, one he would gladly fight with you, if you'd let him. He didn’t know the full extent of your struggle, but he knew the anger he felt simmering inside you wasn't being aided by your refusal to sleep.
Your irritability, although caused by exerting tremendous energy keeping the figure at bay, was no excuse for the times you had lashed out at the Mandalorian. The most recent outburst occurred when he'd stepped on your foot after you had explicitly told him to watch out. In hindsight, threatening to melt his beskar down and turn it into a hearing aid for him so he could stop being such a nerf herder was a touch harsh. Alright, incredibly harsh especially considering he'd attempted to apologize before you went off on him.
“Sorry I threatened the beskar” you murmur sitting down next to him
“Are you going to tell me what's going on?” he asks
“Going on where” you ask
“Well it can't just be air in your head” he jokes, causing you to laugh for the first time in a few days.
“Seriously though , I'm sorry Ive been out of line, and it's not fair on you, you’ve been so understanding.”
“You know what might help with the outbursts?”
“A lecture?” you remark, your tone harsher than intended
“No, sleep, you should try it sometime”
“I'm fine without it” you say, the yawn escaping your lips contradicting your words.
“You should sleep.”
“ You don’t.” you remark hoping to catch him off guard, but he's obviously rehearsed this conversation a few times.
“ I don’t need to.”
“Neither do I.” You lie, almost a year later and you still had no idea how he slept so little, though your current working theory was that he would just take naps under the helmet when he thought he could get away with it.
“No, you can't sleep, there's a distinct difference.”
Not wanting to lash out at him for the third time that day and knowing he was right, you make a swift exit. You push the button that opens up to the tight sleeping quarters where you'd spent many hours lying awake. You were hoping that you'd reached an exhaustion point where your body would just shut down. You lay back on the bed not bothering with the covers, you weren't expecting to get comfortable. Anya had stopped trying to sleep in the same bed as you, usually getting inadvertently kicked or shoved out the bed by your constant movements. Your eyes can’t have been closed for more than a minute when they snap open. Despite their alertness your body's gone limp. What fresh hell was this? As your eyes adjust to the darkness you can only just make out the hauntingly familiar shape sitting at the edge of your bed. You go to call out for the Mandalorian, but no sound is emitted, nothing comes out at all not even air. You watch helplessly as the figure's arm extends ensnaring you in a choke hold, the yellow iris shining out beneath the hood, confirming your worst fear. A Sith. You scream yourself awake, the force causing items to fly to the ground, no doubt alerting the Mandalorian. You bring your knees to your chest grabbing at your scalp telling yourself it wasn’t real, but it didn't matter what you said. The truth was you couldn’t tell anymore all lines had blurred together. You get up off the bed looking around the room already exhausted at having to clean up yet another mess you had made. You lean over picking up the weapons that had fallen off the armoury hanging them back up when you hear the Mandalorian drop down the sound startling you.
“I'm sorry” you mutter embarrassed, not looking up as you move to grab the few dishes currently lying on the floor.
“What did I say about breaking the ship?” he says, chuckling slightly in an attempt to lighten the mood. He bends down to help you but you grab his arm stopping him.
“I made the mess. I'll clean it up.” You say gathering up the utensil and placing them back on the table absentmindedly stroking your throat as you turn to pick up the rest. As you reach for the chess board he grabs your hands, intertwining his fingers with yours, leading you back over to the bed.
“Get some rest, I'll clean up,” he says softly, sitting you down on the bed.
“Stop telling me what to do Din, besides it's not working.”
“You need to sleep.”
“I can’t and unless you can think up a way to make me then were shit out of luck.”
“I can think of a few ways.” he mumbles hoping it was loud enough for you to hear.
“Like what? Knocking me out with a blaster?” you scoff
“ A less violent way,” The words leave his mouth before he can fully assess the pros and cons of what he was offering to do.
“Reciting the entire code of conduct of the mandalore race to me?” Gods, how were you still not getting this.
“A less boring way.” He prays that you either catch on or he passes away suddenly so as to save him from any further embarrassment.
“Oh” you punctuate, lips parted slightly suddenly realizing exactly what was being offered to you “you think you can tire me out?”
“Only if you want.” he says, more confident now you hadn't outright rejected him
“Well I have been dying to see what’s under that armour”
“ You’ve seen it before”, and you couldn't wait to see it again.
“Not all of it”
“The helmet stays on,” he asserts.
“Not what I was referring to.” He stands there for a moment unsure how to proceed, not wanting to have misread the situation. “Well are you just going to stand there or are you not a man of your word?” That’s all the encouragement he needs.
“You want me to stop at any time, you just say so cyar’ika”
Once again the Mandalorian was right ; he was able to tire you out. Neither of you say anything after both at a loss for words, and not wanting to ruin the moment by saying the wrong thing. You fall asleep with his arm wrapped securely around your waist, as the other runs up and down your back. His heartbeat lulling you into a deep sleep, his presence managing to stay off any nightmares, at least for now.
He stays with you long after you’ve dozed off watching your back rise and fall in time with your breathing, he thanks the gods you were finally resting. He intently studies the faint purple markings covering your body, wondering how long they'd been there. His hand then tracing over the scars on your back, he wants to know how you got them. He wanted to know everything. Once this was all a distant memory he’d ask, if you chose to stick around that is. Knowing you won't want to find him in your bed when you wake up, he slides his arm from your waist and quietly, so as not to wake you, he puts his clothes back on. Re-donning his armour he heads back upstairs to check on the ship.
Your body shivers inadvertently at the loss of heat and your eyes slowly open. The room’s still dark, but the Mandalorian had gone. He must have left sometime in the night presumably his way of telling you it was a one off. Knowing Din to be a man of few words you knew talking about what had just happened was fully off the table. You sit up and stretch out, allowing your elbows to pop and your shoulders to crack as you roll them out, feeling a way that you hadn't felt in months. Well rested. Making your way over to the fresher you allow the water to wash over you removing any remaining scent attributed to the Mandalorian. After dressing you head up to the cockpit, slightly bow legged from the night before. You’d had your fair share of lovers and for a human, he was very well endowed and very eager to please.
“How far” you ask brushing any thoughts about last night from your head as you shoo Anya off your seat.
“You’re up sooner than I thought.” He says looking at you. He’d noticed the slight stagger in your walk causing him to smirk under the helmet, but the smile fades when you don’t look down.
“How far are we?” you ask again, picking up Anya who’s refused to move of her own volition.
“Close. About last night” he starts, wanting to make sure everything was okay, and that you weren’t regretting what had happened.
“ Look, we don’t have to talk about it. I know it wasn’t a big deal.” You say.
“It may not be a big deal for you.” you don't know why, but you take that tone as being pointed, referring specifically to your time spent in the rings.
“Why? because I've slept with half the galaxy? Something I did in order to survive an environment let’s not forget you put me in?” you spit out
“ No, I-I didn’t mean,” he starts. It's the first time you've ever heard him stumble over his words.
“ You never do.” You say, shutting him up for the remainder of the trip.
“Dropping out now.’ He says, 5 days, that's how long it had taken to get to where you were going, whoever was on the planet was committed to not being found, or at least committed to having you as sleep deprived as possible.
You step out with the Mandalorian close behind you, the planet's surface reflecting the ship's underlights back into its metal exterior. The mirrored rock had sprouted out into various forms and sharp geometric shapes, resulting in a beautiful, but sinister skyline.
“You sure this is the place? Doesn't look like any living thing could survive here.”
“Yes, I can sense a disturbance. You stay here with Anya.” you say placing a hand on his chest plate.
“No way.” Din responds
“I have to do this alone. It's too dangerous for you.”
“For me?” he says in disbelief.
“Wait here if i'm not back within the hour, leave.” You state ignoring his last question.
“ I'll give you two for good measure” he offers, holding out a blaster for you to take.
“It won't help.” You say pushing it back towards him before pulling up your hood and setting off into the unknown. Once he's sure you're out of sight, he follows you.
You close your eyes, letting your senses lead you through the sharpened planet careful not to cut yourself on the dark obsidian refelcting blurred images of the stars. A rock snaps under your foot and your eyes open. A voice calls out to you, uttering your name.
“Who are you.” you ask aloud, turning to face the cloaked figure who stands before you.
“ That is not important” he answers, lips not moving. Telepathy. So that’s how he'd gotten into your head.
“You tried to kill me I think it's at least relevant.” You return in thought.
“You came alone.” he asks, yellow eyes darting from side to side, despite the power this figure held you send a nervousness harboured deep within him, perhaps you should have brought the Mandalorian along with you.
“ Yes” you lie, hoping your force was strong enough to shield the bounty hunter.
“Good.” he snarled.
“Why did you kill me.” you ask not wanting to beat around the bush
“To see if I could. I needed to see your abilities, you’re stronger than I thought if you brought yourself back to life. The empire is rebuilding”, he offers not clearing the situation up in the least
“The empire died with Palpatine, they’re nothing but warmongering desolates now” you say shaking your head, not believing you had flown halfway across the galaxy for this.
“That’s what they have told you. We have been growing an army, led by the spirit of the emperor. We are seeking those with your abilities to help us rebuild.”
“You’ve lost your mind. The Sith were defeated long ago, the Jedi with them.” You turn to leave, no longer fearing this man, he holds no power over you.
“No” he shrieks, the sound drawing your gaze back to him, the noise frightening you slightly “You cannot leave. You cannot go. You will join us and rebuild a stronger galaxy.”
“I have no interest in joing a cult of fear and genocide.” you state calmly.
“It is more than a cult I offer you, something much better, power.” he was getting desperate, a few more days without sleep and you may have fallen for it.
“Power to what? Give you all the blood in my body so you can commit futile experiments on innocent people. You cannot create force sensitivity nor can you push it on someone who it has not chosen. Join you? No, I'll have to pass. Death and destruction will not be my path.”
“Not yet, but it will be. I see it in you, the pain, the sadness, the loneliness, that will all disappear once you join us.”
“Over my dead body” You say drawing your sabre. A violent clash of red and purple ricochet off the mirrored rock, lighting up the shadowed planets.
“Your grandmother trained you well.” He exclaims.
“ If you knew her then you should know that i'd never turn” You continue the fight. Managing to back him into a rock wall. Holding saber at his throat the light purple hue gleaning in the yellow irises beneath his hood.
“I understand why you ambushed me, not much of a fighter are you.” you snarl, pushing the saber into the robe, the scent of burning fabric filling the air. Then you feel it, the pulse of the fibers interwoven throughout the galaxy, something’s amiss. Something else appears under the glow of you saber, yellowed teeth, smiling under the light. You release him pushing yourself back, he wants you to kill him.
“ Do not fear it, I have seen this moment. It is what begins your reign”
“No” you say aloud to yourself, “No” you repeat turning off the saber and turning to leave.
“If you let me live, I kill the man with you.”
The Mandalorian whose been watching from afar hasn’t heard a word spoken in a while, watching you move towards him he thinks it must be over, whoever this person was, Sith or not, you must have come to an agreement. He almost walks out from his hiding spot when you stop dead in your tracks. He sees you look up, your eyes meeting his but only for a moment, before you pivot back to face the man.
“There’s…” you start.
“Don’t play me for a fool child, I have been playing this game long before you were even a thought in your mothers pretty little head. I know he is here. I know what you feel for him. You kill me and in time you will betray him, but you’d rather that, than lose him altogether.”
There's no thought process, no decision to make. With a flick of your wrist you throw the saber. You watch as it slices through the Siths neck before returning to your hand. You close it as his head tumbles to the ground. If Ashoka's words were a warning this, this was an omen. You had made a choice and now a path of irredeemably evil was laid before you. A path you were not prepared to drag anyone else down.
“I know you're there” you say after composing yourself. “I told you not to follow me.” You say making your way to the Mandalorians hiding spot.
“Are you alright? What did he say to you?” he asks, reaching a hand out for your arm.
“Nothing.” You say dodging him. The less he knew the safer he'd be. You weighed your options in your head on the walk back, but you knew there was only one way to avoid harming anyone. You had to hide away, become anonymous. Fall back into legend, never to be seen again. It was the only way Grogu would be safe, it was the only way Cara would be safe, it was the only way Din would be safe. As the ship takes off you say three words that would change everything.
“Take me home.”
“We're on route to Hoth now,” he says reassuringly.
“No, take me to my home. Grogu is back and safe. Our deal is done. Our alliance is over” You say, eyes plastered to the windshield.
“What did he say to you?” Din stresses, but you don’t answer. Silence was the only way to stop him from convincing you to stay.
“Don’t shut me out” he says slamming his hand on the panel. You don’t flinch, you don’t even look up. “We can figure this out together.” He says softly, if you hadn’t known any better you would have thought he was pleading with you.
“You’ve done enough. Take me home. If you don’t the force will.” He resets the GPS coordinates before standing up and dropping downstairs. Anya muzzles into you as you let out a sigh blinking back the tears you felt forming.
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