#iftar in like 14 mins

[jammboe]

Hi I'm Jam. Today i want to eat rice and chicken with chickpeas

[asthaghfirallah]

The Ultimate Ramadan Dua' List - Shaykh Navaid Aziz​

I looked at the greatest needs we have in this day and age and selected 7 dua’s from the Quran and Sunnah that I feel would be in the best interests of every Muslim.

It would be ideal to print this list (or have it on your phone) and keep it handy at the time of iftar. Likewise, please add to your list anything else that you would like, especially that which your heart desires.

For your convenience I have included the Arabic, English transliteration, and English translation.

I pray Allah accepts from us all, and makes us from those who are forgiven and pardoned this Ramadan and entered into alfirdaws in the hereafter. Ameen.

DUA 1:

للّهُـمَّ إِنِّي أَعْوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَـمِّ وَ الْحُـزْنِ، والعًجْـزِ والكَسَلِ والبُخْـلِوالجُـبْنِ، وضَلْـعِ الـدَّيْنِ وغَلَبَـةِ الرِّجال Allahumma inni ‘audhubika min al-hammi wal huzani,wal ‘ajzi wal kasali, wal bukhli wal jubni, wa dala’ad-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijâl. O Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men.

DUA 2:

رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِيالدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ Rubbana aatina fid-dunya hassana,wa fil akhirati hassana, waqina ‘adhab an-nar. Our Lord, give us in this world [that which is] good and in the Hereafter [that which is] good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire. {Surat Al Baqarah 2: Verse 201}

DUA 3:

رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَالصَّلَاةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِي ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِرَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِيوَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ Rubbi j’alnee muqeem as-salati wa mindhuriyyati. Rubbana, wa taqabbal dua’. Rubbana ighfir li wa li walidayya wa lilmu’mineena yawma yaqoom ul-hisab My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [many] from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication. Our Lord, forgive me and my parents and the believers the Day the account is established. {Surat Ibrahim 14: Verse 40-41}

DUA 4:

اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّـي أسْـأَلُـكَ العَـفْوَوَالعـافِـيةَ في الدُّنْـيا وَالآخِـرَة اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّـي أسْـأَلُـكَالعَـفْوَ وَالعـافِـيةَ في ديني وَدُنْـيايَ وَأهْـلي وَمالـي ، اللّهُـمَّاسْتُـرْ عـوْراتي وَآمِـنْ رَوْعاتـي ،اللّهُـمَّ احْفَظْـني مِن بَـينِ يَدَيَّوَمِن خَلْفـي وَعَن يَمـيني وَعَن شِمـالي ، وَمِن فَوْقـي ، وَأَعـوذُ بِعَظَمَـتِكَأَن أُغْـتالَ مِن تَحْتـي Allahumma inni as-alukaal-‘afwa wal ‘afiyata fid dunya wal akhira. Allahumma inni as-aluka al ‘afwa walafiyata fee deeni wa dunyaya wa ahlee wa malee. Allahumma ustur ‘awrati wa aminrow’ati. Allahumma ahfadhnee min bayni yadayya min khalfi wa ‘an yameeni wa ‘anshimali wa min fowqi wa a’oodhu bi ‘adhmatika an aghtaala min tahti. “O Allah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in this life and the next. O Allah,I ask You for pardon and well-being in my religious and worldly affairs, and my family and my wealth. O Allah, veil my weaknesses and set at ease my dismay. O Allah, preserve me from the front and from behind and on my right and on my left and from above, and I take refuge with You lest I be swallowed up by the earth.”

DUA 5:

اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّـي أَسْأَلُـكَ عِلْمـاً نافِعـاً وَرِزْقـاً طَيِّـباً ،وَعَمَـلاً مُتَقَـبَّلاً Allahuma inni as-aluka‘ilman nafi’an wa rizqan tayyiban wa ‘amalan matqaballa. “O Allah, I ask You for knowledge which is beneficial and sustenance which is good, and deeds which are acceptable. [to be said after giving salam for the fajr prayer].”

DUA 6:

اللّهُـمَّ أَعِـنِّي عَلـى ذِكْـرِكَ وَشُكْـرِك ، وَحُسْـنِ عِبـادَتِـك Allahuma a’inni ‘aladhikrika washukrika wahusni‘ibadatik. “O Allah, help me to remember You, to thank You, and to worship You in the best of manners.”

DUA 7:

اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّـي أَسْأَلُـكَ الجَـنَّةَ وأََعوذُ بِـكَ مِـنَ الـنّار Allahuma inni as-aluka al-jannata wa a’udhubika min an-nar. “O Allah, I ask You to grant me Paradise and I take refuge in You from the Fire.”

Please do share to maximize your reward and benefit!

Link to the Article - http://www.theidealmuslimah.com/2014/06/13/the-ultimate-ramadan-dua-list-shaykh-navaid-aziz/

[simplyhasanah]

Receiving Ramadan

How should we receive the month of Ramadan? Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him) points us in the right direction. This is a summary of various lectures on the topic.

We are about to receive the master of all months, the best of all months, the month in which gifts constantly pour forth from the ocean of divine generosity. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ once mentioned Ramadan and said out of veneration: “Do they realise what is coming to them and what they are receiving?” The believer should reflect upon his connection with his Lord, the One who has made this month an opportunity for him to receive His gifts and His forgiveness. We should receive this month in three ways.

Firstly, we should have joy upon its arrival.

Allah says: Say: “In the bounty of Allah and in His mercy – in that let them rejoice! That is better than the wealth they amass.”1Take a look at the manifestations of Allah’s bounty in this noble month. Sayyiduna Salman narrates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ spoke to us on the last day of Sha`ban saying: “O people, a great and blessed month has approached, a month in which there is a night greater than one thousand months. Allah made fasting in this month a compulsory act and made praying in the night a voluntary act. Whoever seeks to draw close to Allah in it with a good deed will be rewarded like someone who performed a compulsory action at another time. Whoever performs a compulsory action in it will be rewarded like someone who performed seventy compulsory actions at another time. It is the month of steadfastness (sabr) and the reward of steadfastness is Paradise. It is the month of charity. It is the month in which a believer’s provision is increased.”2

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Allah made fasting Ramadan compulsory and made the night prayer recommended. Whoever fasts in it and prays in the night in a state of belief; seeking Allah’s reward, will be free of sins like the day on which his mother gave birth to him.”3 The Messenger of Allah ﷺ informed us that in this month gates of the heavens are opened,4 meaning that it is easy for our actions, our prayers and our repentance to find acceptance with Allah. It has also been narrated that when Ramadan enters, Allah orders the angels who carry His throne to stop praising Him and to seek forgiveness for the Ummah of Muhammad.5

The Prophet ﷺ said: “My Ummah has been given in Ramadan five things that no prophet before me was given. The first is that on the first night of the month of Ramadan Allah gazes upon them and if Allah gazes upon someone, He will never punish them. The second is the smell emanating from their mouths in the latter part of the day is sweeter in Allah’s sight than the scent of musk. The third is that the angels seek forgiveness for them every day and night. The fourth is that Allah says to Paradise: ‘Prepare yourself and beautify yourself for My slaves for they will soon find rest in My Abode in the place of My generosity after the hardship of this life. The fifth is that they will all be forgiven on the last night.”

Someone asked: “Is that Laylat al-Qadr? He replied: “No, look at workers: when they finish their work they are given their wages in full.”6

Secondly, we should be wary of things that prevent us from attaining the gifts that are bestowed.

Fasting and all acts of worship were legislated to allow us to attain true taqwa: O you who believe, fasting was prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you that you may attain taqwa.7The essential meaning of taqwa is to place a barrier between yourself and the anger of Allah by obeying His orders and avoiding that which He has prohibited. The Ummah has lost this fear of Allah and as a result its enemies have been given power over it. Acceptance of our fasting and other acts is also based on taqwa: Allah only accepts (the actions) of people who possess taqwa.8

We should avoid any false speech. The Messenger of Allah ﷺsaid: “If someone does not leave false speech and acting upon it, Allah has no need for him to leave his food and drink.”9

We should avoid rude and obscene speech and argumentation. The Messenger of Allahﷺsaid: “Fasting is a shield. If someone is fasting let him not speak obscenely or argue.” He also said ﷺ: “Fasting is a shield, as long one does not pierce it.”

He was asked: “How does one pierce it?”

“By lying or backbiting,” he replied.

There are four categories of people who are denied Allah’s forgiveness in Ramadan and at other times. They are those who sever kinship ties, those disobey their parents, those who have rancour in their hearts for other Muslims and those who are addicted to alcohol or drugs.

The believer should be extremely careful to break his fast on lawful food, for “Allah is good and only accepts that which is good and wholesome.”10 One of the early Muslims said: “When you fast, pay attention to what you break your fast on and who you break it with.”

Prepare to receive Ramadan with pure hearts, for by Allah, abundant prayer, fasting and recitation of the Qur’an will be of no benefit if your hearts are full of darkness.

Thirdly, we should strive to do good works to the best of our ability, for Ramadan is an opportunity to take provision and to gain great rewards.

It is narrated that an angel calls every night in Ramadan: “O seeker of good, approach! O seeker of evil, retreat!”11The believer must thus constantly seek good. He must constantly seek to rectify himself and their families and those over whom they have been given authority. They should spread goodness among the Muslims and among humanity. If he has these good and broad intentions he will then be called by the angel: “O seeker of good, approach!”

During Ramadan, Imam al-Shafi`i would complete the Qur’an once during the day and once during the night so that by the end of the month he had completed the Qur’an sixty times. People used to be so absorbed in worship during Ramadan that they would hardly see their relatives or their friends. They would see each other briefly at the Friday prayer but even then everyone would be busy with prayer and reciting the Qur’an. For this reason `Id would be a joyful occasion, because on that day it would be as if people were meeting each other for the first time after having been apart from each other for a whole month.

Since the gates of the heavens are open during this month we should take advantage of this, and plead with Allah for our needs to be answered. Are you concerned with the Ummah of Muhammad? This is the Lord of the Ummah of Muhammad promising you that He will answer your prayers. So plead with Him that the Muslims are granted relief from their sufferings; that their hearts are united; that the sick are healed; that the disobedient are given the ability to repent and that the ignorant are granted knowledge. Allah says: You sought relief from your Lord, and He responded to You. He said: Call upon Me and I will answer you. Nothing is too great for Allah. “Come to know Allah in times of ease, and He will be with you in times of hardship.”

Al-Sayyidah `A’ishah asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ what she should ask for if she knew that it was Laylat al-Qadr.

He replied: “Say: ‘O Allah, truly You are all-Pardoning, You love to pardon so pardon us.’”12

He also said ﷺ: “Do four things in abundance: two things with which you please your Lord, and two things which you cannot do without. As for the two things with which you please your Lord: your testifying that there is nothing worthy of worship other than Allah and your seeking His forgiveness. As for the two things which you cannot do without: your asking Allah for Paradise and seeking refuge in Him from the Fire.”13

So say these things in abundance, for they are the best things for which you can use your tongue. Say them in your homes, in the streets, in the mosques not just at Iftar or after Tarawih.

[On the basis of these two hadiths the scholars and people of Tarim repeat the following du`a throughout the month of Ramadan:

أشْهَدُ أن لا إلهَ إلا الله نَسْتَغْفِرُ الله نسأَلُكَ الجنَّةَ ونَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ النَّار(3)

Ashadu alla ilaha illallah, nastaghfirullah, nas’aluk’l-jannata wa na`audhu bika min an-nar

“I testify that there is nothing worthy of worship other than Allah and we seek the forgiveness of Allah. We ask You for Paradise and take refuge in You from the Fire.” (3 times)

اللهمَّ إنَّكَ عَفُوٌ تُحِبُّ العَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنَّا(3) يا كَرِيم

Allahumma innaka `afuwun tuhibbu-l’`afwa f`afwa `anna

“O Allah, truly You are all-Pardoning, You love to pardon so pardon us” (3 times). On the third time say “O Most Generous” (Ya Karim).]

Allah give us the biggest portion of all goodness. Make Ramadan a cause of rectification and the removal of tribulations.

Your Prophet ﷺwould expend great efforts in worship in Ramadan, and particularly in the last ten days, so emulate your Prophet ﷺ. Beware of striving at the beginning of the month and then becoming lazy towards the end, as “actions are judged by their endings.”14

Please also benefit from the Ramadan Reader, which includes an outline of Sayyidi Habib `Umar’s schedule for students of Dar al-Mustafa throughout Ramadan.

May Allah grant us His Enabling Grace to make the most of the blessed month and aid us in doing so by giving ease in observing at least some parts of the blessed schedule.

—

1 Yunus, 10:58

2 Narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah

3 Narrated by Ahmad and al-Nasa’i

4 Narrated by al-Bayhaqi

5 Narrated by al-Daylami

6 Narrated by al-Bayhaqi

7  Al-Baqarah, 2:183

8 Al-Ma’idah, 5:27

9 Narrated by al-Bukhari, Abu Daud, al-Tirmidhi, al-Nasa’i and Ibn Majah

10  Narrated by Muslim

11  Narrated by Ibn Majah, al-Hakim, al-Bayhaqi and Ibn Hibban

12  Narrated by Ahmad, Ibn Majah and Tirmidhi with a sahih chain of transmission

13  Narrated by Ibn Khuzayma

14  Narrated by al-Bukhari

Source: http://muwasala.org/receiving-ramadan/ 

[shytiff]

May Small Wins

1 - lazed, went to racheel’s place and put my motorbike there, went to slipi jaya with silvi devi reza to watch seobok (it was fun!!), had iftar at the yumz green sedayu. It was raining when we get back. prayed maghrib and isya in some random mosque. went back and arrived at like 8 past sumn. showered, slept like a babyy

2 - lazed, slept and woke up at like 11, went to nila’s house, practiced doing eyeliner by borrowing nila's (focallure brand), iftar at green sedayu foodcourt (originally intended to go to the yumz but it enforces actual distancing) with angkot ppl minus tik will. Arrived home at about 9-ish.

3 - magang as usual. Went to rm. Took mrt to lebak bulus. My inaco salary finally came. My head kinda hurts after tarawih. Ended up skimming over bj alex lmaooo. Did not shower today lol,,,,

4 - added dr dafsah's revision to the excel database otw to rsf. Pak nardi took a while to arrive. Left rsf early to go to the bank. I (((finally))) activated m-banking lmaooo wow the features are neat wow im not jahiliah anymore. Found this method of just let it sweat anyway during tarawih lmaoo. Preferably with long sleeves bcs somehow you feel less of the sweaty feel compared to tshirt.

5 - sampling - data entry - RM as usual. Theres no new RM. Read a goood dramione fic by bex chan even if its not complete, its okay. Im okay :"))). Iftar was soup, salad, chicken katsu and french fries. Its been 2 days that i practiced sleeping-to-rain-sound. The first night was spent as a dreamless quick sleep (its over before you knew it), but tonight i dreamed abt almira's wedding lmaoo.

6 - no sampling today!! Still went to rsf tooo go to the mall w regen lmao. Did some data entry. Went to PP by mrt. Went back by going to halte gbk and thankfully the kalideres one arrived after only waiting for 5 mins. Its surprisingly quick, compared to lebak bulus - pesakih trip. Took abt 20 mins to jelambar.

7 - no sampling today too. Dr vera gave us lebaran cookies! Did gcp for bu suryati a5. Went to rm, finally finished the available rm. Went home early. Can finally relax since its the weekend.

8 - literally laid in bed til my body hurts. Rly want to read sumn but dunno what. Finally decided to read momoiro heaven. And rere hello. And after iftar i read lack of love. And just like tht, my saturday was gone. Cant bring myself to do things

9 - its another day of lazying (or self sabotaging, cant tell). Read spy family and its effin hilarious. Wasted my sunday. Cant bring myself to even move and i just laid in bed all day.

10 - last day of work in the weeekend lmao. Felt better than being in AR, but still not that much productivity. Went to RM. Phone call w fianti along the way to plan food in almira's bridal shower. Went back at 12-ish. Picked up my dress from risma busana. Walked to and fro halte kebon jeruk. Prayed zuhur close to ashar in kfc's mushola. Felt better after ~8k steps. Had homelab's green tea mixed with vsoy. It honestly made me feel better. Matcha, or caffeine, sure is amazing. At least i had a sense of normalcy before losing all the will to self-care

11 - consumed internet entertainment u til i was sick and tired of it. Watched a lot of cut videos. Granny came and stayed over. So i slept upstairs

12 - same as 11 but upstairs. More relatives came near iftar time so i excused myself to shower. Slept in mom n dads room at like 12-ish. Watched hp goblet of fire since keisha and karins newest obsession was draco. We squealed together over liking enemies to lovers trope haha,,,,

13 - Somehow all of dad's jakarta relatives came for lebaran. the last time i checked, there were some bridges being burned. prayed eid at home. watched perempuan tanah jahanam (which was surprisingly not scary). ate. napped. talked about personal things w keisha and karin. i cant believe the time has finally come where we talk about this kinda stuff. watched you’re next (it barely has any plot, just gore). they went back at about 8 pm and i just sleptttt yall lmao i didnt shower today. disgusting, i know

14 - cam barely get out of bed. Managed to shower at zuhur time. Watched dalbang and laughed like crazy bcs its just that funny. Read fanfics. Tiktok. Ate once and had greenfield yogurt at the evening. Fell asleep. Woke up at 1 and snacked on 1 pack of oat krunch

15 - run bts. Originally planned to go to flavola but it was still closed, so i went to dm's dunkin. Ordered orange juice and oeanut choco donut but somehow the price wasnt package price hhh. Turns out my clires account was somehow banned. So i contacted the admin. Instead of doing dr dafsah's excel i ended up taking off the makara sticker from my laptop. Bought some stuff for almira's bridal shower. Bought arirang at hari2 (its funny bcs yesterday i was seeing online marketplace, planning to buy it, but turns out hari2 the magical place had buy 2 get +1 deal for arirang.

16 - run bts. Managed to move my body a bit. Did 20 squats (ill elaborate on this later). That improved my mood. Tidied up some of my stuff. Saw the paper bag of random memorabilias by friends.

17 - went to rsf by tj. left kalideres 06:45 and arrived at RSF 8:15. sampling. went to RM (still no new ones). picked up by mom. went to salemba for almira’s bridal shower. originally planned to get padang at citra minang behind BK but it was closed. so we drove around looking for open ones. ended up buying it in a small (but crowded) padang place near a big padang restaurant lmao. was the first one to arrive at acacia. checked in, pulled the bed near the wall. showered. its hilarious sometimes with a bit more serious discussion anjayy. went home w febby who drove and clara

18 - went to mcd to get lunch (since everyone’s fasting) and tried to muster the will to do something. i didnt manage to do anything except shopping online (brought dusty pink hijab at hijup). got spicy chicken and iced coffee. (spoiler alert: tomorrow i got mencret2 lmaooo). read my suha and beyond the skidipapap its actually rly good

19 - went to RSF (with mom as usual. quickly snapped RM pictures while mom was waiting. went with her to mami’s house bcs she and uwak will fly to banjar. finally got to meet haekal, he’s such a smiley babyy its basically free therapy. planned outing with nisa lmao. from soekarno hatta we went to vintage vibes lmao since we’re already out. vintage vibes is more crowded now. and there’s less good findings now. went back emptyhanded. ate chicken arirang since there’s no food. fell asleep at like 06:30 until early morning lmaooo

20 - woke up at 2-ish am, played my phone, fell asleep at like 9?, woke up again at 11 lmaooo. went to sbux. had matcha latte. did some inaco work. todays the most productive ive been this week.

21 - went to gi with febby to also meet up with fi, bought falsies and glue (later proved to be of a horrible quality), siraman and pengajian almira (first time seeing an actual siraman), went to blok m w nes ren ara gen. Tried naruto takoyaki at little tokyo, went to daitokyo (i didnt eat anything), and got matcha cake, sakura and mango raspberry gelato at kebun ide. Picked up by mom. Renata gifted me bts 2021 winter package photocard 🥺🥺

22 - iluni internship webinar by dr naldo. Grabbed fried chicken master. Stupid time management etcetc made my start makeup at 12 (febby went out at 13:30). My falsies and hijabdo was done by herrr thank god for the help. Went to swissbel. Didnt take a pic w almira bcs time. Almiras wedding at damai indah golf pik. My skin was TERRIBLE at the wedding. The make up didnt stick prolly bcs of vitacid. Thank god for masks,,, went back home w febbyy. Made tiktok lmao

23 - lazed. Went to flavola. Its finally daytime caffeine again w kopsuscok. Did dr triya's translation work and finished it at home. She transferred the fee at like 11pm

24 - off to RSF with mom. no new medical records. wrote fuad’s name on the medrec borrowing form. continued to nisa’s place w mom. lazed, played w haekal, put some patient’s phone number on the inaco excel. Off to GBK with nisa and sarah. parked at abc field (shouldve parked near GBK’s H gate). saw moja museum 2.0, took lots of pics. mo paint (moral lesson: draw the background first!! not the foreground). finished at 16:30. ashar at masjid al-bina. nisa dropped me off at gbk tj station. prayed maghrib on the bus since the traffic was so ughh. met atikah in lippo puri. decided to eat seirockya so we walked to puri. talked about a certain someone along the way. we rly talked about it while walking until we arrived at seirockya. atikah treated me uyeyy since she and racheel will stay in depok for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. got the shoyu ramen and gyoza. took the taxi to atikah’s place. mom’s waiting there lmaoo i was like “noo dont wait at jco, just wait at atikah’s”. still felt energized that night in my bed. no sleepy2. like 100% awake. 

25 - woke up at like 9:30. i basically did nothing today. didnt even shower lmao (i showered last night). read the good teacher in one go. zoom meeting w dr eva. i rly need some structure in life, goshhh

26 - showered and went to mcd. got nasi uduk, breakfast wrap and milo for 26k (thanks mcd app promo and mcd duta garden’s menu machine, i dont have to interact with another human). planning to do dr dafsah’s excel after all the data is complete, and still no new inaco data, so i ended up.... online shopping at bobobobo....... (bought outer and white culotte). tidied up the writings on my stickies (plenty of words has accumulated). ordered onejai for emir juan (expensive!!! 79k no promo lolll but free delivery. i was baited by gojek’s 1k 2 week subscription and felt like hmmm i should get something since we live in the middle of nowhere and free deliveries felt significant at that particular time when im holding my phone lmao). fell asleep after drinking vsoy + matcha lol its soft caffeine no longer works i guess

27 - woke up late as usual, went to sbux at 1 pm. tried white peach matcha frapp. the peach overpowers and u can barely taste the matcha. tried to read something useful (in medicine) but skimmed 2 ppt and then i saw solid’s bitly for isip. finished reading banana fish. couldnt bawl my eyes out because im outside.

28 - checked out rsf. Still no new ones. Immediately went back. Lazed and wasted my time

29 - iluni webinar. Here comes the impending life crisis. Ate nasi uduk and mie goreng telor today. Tried vsoy golden grain with matcha. It has almond aftertaste. Line call with kris for almost 4 hrs until 11 past sumn pm.

30 - more iluni webinar. Dr Eric, SpPD, PhD was rly cool. Tried daily box (butter soy chicken). Quite tasty. Mkg w regen. Videocalled in the mall w silvi racil bcs its ale and nadaa's wedding today. Bought gooma 500ml matcha w gofood pickup discount. Ate sushi go (the shoyu has mirin btw). 50k+ you get 6 piece of sushi (2 salmon) and matcha cake and ocha. Quite a nice deal. Talked abt cryptocurrency lmao. Went back and forth w TJ. All hail tj

31 - planned to do at least some productive stuff at home. turns out nila is outside and had some time to spare. so we went out. i met her in citra 6. we went to pik’s white beach. its scorching hot since its 2 pm. spent like 15 mins there. we had wanted to stop by monsieur spoon but THERES A QUEUEEE even if its a hot afternoon. so we ate tom sushi at green sedayu. talked a bit afterwards in nila’s place and then i was picked up by emir. tried gooma’s matcha. its not sweet like sbux. approved by mom (who doesnt like sweets). but its more expensive than sbux’s 2L 100k promo lol. (45k after gopay pickup promo for 500 ml). reread bj alex lmaooooo found new tidbits

[ftlion]

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[stereotypedebunker]

Ramadan Days 1-2

(1) so far so good?? At least fasting-wise. I dunno, i don’t think i’ve ever found fasting particularly difficult (alhamdullilah), and to be fair i’ve been at home rather than at school so far so

(2) the Qur'an reciter at the masjid is so chatty between ‘Isha and Taraweeh. I have mixed feelings about this, because the chattiness leads to extra-long khatiras because tangents (and not the opposite/adjacent kind)

(3) my focus is already shot though. *sarcastic laughter*

(4) there IS a break in the heat though BUT it’s almost summer so it’s coming back

(5) Baba: *opens the oven* Allah yi7mina min nar Jahannam

(6) well also Baba planted an apple tree today so good for him

(7) ALSO our blackberry bush is wonderfully bountiful this year. They grow up so fast :’)

(8) so every time there’s something about Islamophobia in the news (or the like) Baba always makes sure we know about it but like me in particular. I mean, there’s no more passive aggressive 'but you should stop wearing hijab’. Now it’s like 'i fear for your safety’ so that’s nice. Anyway

(9) my sister’s already killing it with the soup.

(10) drinking a latte after iftar was a terrible idea. Caffeine hasn’t affected me this much in years

(11) the only time i binge drink is at night during Ramadan. But it’s water so that’s okay

(12) Someone: don’t eat fruit for suhoor!! Me: how 'bout i do anyway

(13) Baba's cousin died a few days before Ramadan so i'd...appreciate if some duaas went out for him and his family

(14) at the end of the day though my family sits down to a great filling meal and we don't have to worry about what we'll eat for suhoor or iftar the next day and i'm really grateful. I just wish i could EXPRESS that better, you know??

[peacebeuponhim786]

Shahru Ramadhan from Shaykh ‘Abdul Qadir Jilani (Alayhi Rahma) 📿🕌 . “O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you that you may (learn) self restraint.” (Al-Qur`an, 2:183) – So fasting helps learn self-restraint, (Taqwa) . Begins with Mercy :- 1 st 10 days, Middle is Forgiveness 2 nd 20 days, Ends with deliverance from Hell :- 3rd 30 days . Who ever fasts will walk through the 8 th gate of Heaven called Rayyan. It is reserved only for the people of fasting. It is the month of Sabr – patient and charitable sharing. . Cultivate 4 practices and repeat them frequently which; . 2 will earn your Lords pleasure . 2 you just cannot afford to do without . 1 st Dhikr of Shahadah la-e-laha-illal-lah . 2 nd Begging for Forgiveness i.e. Astaghfirullah, Rab-bigh-fir-lee . 3 rd Imploring to be granted the Garden of Paradise . 4 th Taking Refuge from the Fire of Hell i.e. Allahumma jarnee min-nan-nar . It called Ramadhan because it has is a scorching effect upon sins; it burns sins away. So our bodies and hearts experience a process of purification. [so you could also understand it as, purifying yourself on earth or wait and be purified in the burning of hell fire the choice is yours ] . The sleeping of the one fasting is an act of ibadah –worship, as there silence is tasbih – saying subhanallah; moreover his dua’s are sure to be answered and this good deeds will be multiplied. Three types of people prayers are answered, one of them is the one Fasting. So ask many dua’s while fasting. Also the fast is a junna (suit of armour, protective shield) for the one who fast. . While doing voluntarily ibadh like nafl or dhikr at night, read from the noble Quran the verse . ” Inna Fa-tahna laka fath-hum-mubeena “- We have surely given you a signal victory (48:1) . That person will receive a guarantee of safekeeping for the whole year. So read it frequently. . Every month one should try to fast al-ayyum al-bid – [White nights] which is 13 th 14 th 15 th nights of every month as the reward from the 1 st is 10,000 rewards, 2 nd 30,000 rewards, 3 rd 300,000 rewards. . Every Sajdah – prostration is 1700 rewards. Also every nafl has the equivalent of a fard pray that is 70 times. As a fard is 70 times more than a nafl pray. . Only on Friday and Shahru Ramadhan there is no Hisaab – [reckoning] given if you spend your wealth. For you will be questioned on how to spent your wealth on the day of Reckoning, expect Friday and Shahru Ramadhan. . The garden of Paradise will be refurbished and re-decorated every month of Ramadhan and the maidens of Paradise will splendidly adorn themselves and be requesting for a suitor to marry. . No servant who keeps the fast at least one day of the month of Ramadhan, can possibly fail to be married to a wife from brides of Paradise. . Who ever provides Iftar –[breaking of Fast] for someone, will be forgiven for their sins and earn freeing from hellfire, also be granted the rewards of actions of the one fasting, without the one fasting losing anything. Even if giving a dried date, you will be rewarded. Providing a satisfying Iftar you will be rewarded by drinking from the hawd –[Basin] of Allah; you will never feel thirsty after drinking it. . In this Month Allah will ask 3 times “Does anyone have a request to make, so I may grant his request? Is there anyone who wishes to repent, so that I may relent towards him and accept his repentance? Is there anyone wishing to seek forgiveness, so I may forgive him?…” #Ramadhan1438

[shytiff]

Mar 2021 Wins

1 - Work againn except the medical record ran out. So we went back at 12 am. Relaxeddd at home. Fasted today (still got 2 fasting debts to go). Meeting with dr dafsah dr bayushi and dr debby at 20:30. I embarrassed myself lmao,,, and what you can say as "asal bunyi". Let the overthinking and fear begin. I actually woke up 3 times during the night, lmaoo is it anxiety? Never happened to me before.

2 - we need to take care of administrations to get more medical record so we did. Wasted almost half of the day but we finally managed. Immediately fell asleep at home lmao

3 - the usual day in harkit. Asked more medical records. Planned to go to cp to see slip ons but the tj i wanted to ride went straight to kalideres so like the sane person i am of course i went back home. Timing is very222 great sometimes in life. Zoom meeting with the ever so kind dr eva. Mahmud and dela joined the assistant gang

4 - magang. Met dr eva in pediatric icu. late late evening lunch was kungpao chicken sec bowl (which i exclaimed as sweet. And then my friend said kungpao is supposed to taste like that. Huh). I was picked up after maghrib. Laid down in bed, playing my phone until 22ish and i fell asleep. Damn i shouldve slept earlier yknow

5 - magang. Ate spicy salmon onigiri from lawson for lunch. Went to btkv basecamp with mahmud since RM was a bit crowded. Not even 10 mins in, and we excused ourselves because misuh2 btkv near the computer on our table. Went to nonama in le meridien after magang with ara ness gen cal hanin amal alya. The sushi was so so (too much rice). Yay for lots of sashimi. Salmon kushiage was tasty. Salmon aburi cheesy stuff was tasty. Soba so so. Takoyaki explodes in your mouth. While waiting for mom, saw live piano performance in the lobby. Shes playing alone. I hope she knows someone out there appreciates it *oddly melancholic*

6 - slept in. Felt good. Hurriedly showered and got ready bcs i thot it was getting a bit late and turns out i arrived in halte kalideres 9:11 am lmao. Breakfast slash lunch was penyetan cok ayam. The sambal was not THAT spicy but my tongue has weakened now. Picked up some data in RM. Went to central park with my heavy ass bag to search for slip ons. Didnt find one yet. Went to kkv for the first time. Went back home and its heavy rain on the tj but dry in kalideres. Snacked on fitz cookies (its basically vegan tuffis) on the bus since i felt hungryyy. Juan bought chicken satay and when i arrived theyre all eating but i didnt feel like eating with them lmao (its been a while since i last did) so i just went upstairs, finished that fitz cookies, fell asleep in my mukena (after maghrib) and skipping isya :(

7 - didnt feel like doing anything when i woke up, but forced myself to open laptop for nemo. Played a bit of keyboard. Ate last nights satay. Rly was in a rut until i managed to shower (i last showered yesterday morning,,,) and felt a bit better. Even did night skin care and mask (which i didnt do lately)

8 - magang as usual while listening to curhat babu. I was still feeling "off" even though i was outside already. Felt a bit more normal after i had lawson's ice arabica gayo covfefe. Lunch was spicy sec bowl with extra chicken. Coffee's effect is amazing im just blown away. Like im not tired. I feel normal. I dont feel like immediately going to bed when i arrive at the house. Read and finished starving anonymous before bed. Its... A lot to take in. Especially before bed lmaoo

9 - mencret2 in the morning and i blame it on spicy sec bowl. my pace in magang is so slow why :( lunch is carbonara spaghetti from Barilla (29k with discount). It does make you feel full, and it is creamy. But the beef bacon is so few 😐 it will be more delish if it has more bacon. Picked up by mom after maghrib today. At 19:30 ish my stomach hurtedddd bcs of rising acid.its been a while since it happened. Thankfully mom bought tan ek tjoan and brownies. The ache dissipated after i finished my bread. Its so cold in the car tfff or is it my poor metabolism

10 - magang til after isya since tomorrow is a holiday. powered by lawson’s arabica gayo after lunch (good habit’s minimal-taste fried rice lol). while on the way back, kapjagiii ukmppd result announcement. alhamdulillah i passed. congratulated by some. slept late seeing people’s social media update.

11 - woke up late. didnt feel hungry, so i ate at 13:00 ish (tuna, peanut-chocolate sandwich). slept after eating. ghosted mahmuda calling me regarding after zuhur liqo. didnt pick up atikah’s calls. cant seem to talk lmao. rly rly tried to do dr dafsah’s excel this day, but cant seem to start my day. i was like “i’ll take a shower” but i didnt. “i’ll start the excel at 20:00″ i didnt. i just slept. and woke. and slept. dreamed about going to dufan with clara but we bailed since there was no promo. i practically didnt no anything today lol

12 - finally showered (that was supposedly done yesterday lmao). my pink flats broke down. i was the only one who come lmao. did dr dafsah’s excel and finished at 10. went to TA and tried popolamama’s ayce. tried chicken arabiatta (very tomato-ey taste, not a fan), pepperoni, bolognese and banana caramel with vanilla ice cream. Managed to eat 4 small pizza out of 9 flavor choices. While eating i remembered i came to celebrate passing ukmppd. so in my mind i pat myself in the back and said (not out loud) congrats for passing ukmppd. it felt bittersweet, but a nice validation. tried to search for slip ons again but didnt find one. bought a black top in uniqlo. started reading here you are

13 - lazed and lazed and jhs friends wanted to meet up but i cant even muster the courage to shower lmao. after zuhur was the meet up time but i slept at 12. lets go. come on. out. suddenly i have to build up a will to socialize just like with running. and i managed. left the house at 13:30-ish. went to ali kopi dm and got thai tea. slowly warming up my social battery. and then things felt a bit better. and we moved to flavola (got the somay). and talked we did, until suddenly its near isya. and then i had to go back bcs mom was being restrictive as usual. if it werent for that i would stay longer w atikah and pupuy. felt energized afterwards, read more of here you are and slept at 00:00 ish

14 - woke up, played some keyboard. im not prepared for another monday. Mangago is down. Unboxed my knockoff airpods that arrived couple of days ago. The sound and function was ok. Showered near the end of zuhur.

15 - magang as usual. Got out of my gloomy (felt a bit better) after going out. Lunch was ayam pedas lawson with added fried chicken. Also bought arabica gayo. Went back home before maghrib. Why must i be here while my dad talk about whatever before sholat maghrib. I hate it here. Ara and redita stayed over bcs theyre 'supposedly' going to rsut to pick up samples. Except it was cancelled and in the morning they went back to rscm,,,

16 - its only morning but i yapped abt worrying in our future to poor ekal who just sat there lmaoo. I told him how i realized im easily bored. Tried K-Chop for lunch, bought kimchi bokkeumbap, pajeon and kimchi jeon. The fried rice tasted like fried rice but with a hint of kimchi. Kimchi jeon was good and refreshing. the pajeon was basically egg with added ingredients. But it did make me feel full. Suddenly felt like singing life goes on with the keyboard.

17 - tried fitfut for lunch. Got mushroom chicken steak and katsu wrap. Their katsu is,,, simply put, tasteless. Like those HEALTHY healthy foods. The (small) chicken steak was ok. The mushroom sauce tasted good. Zoom call with dr dafsah at 12 am. More work i guess,,,

18 - fasted today. Still got 1 debt to go. Sahur was indomie, banana and protein shake. Did not feel hungry in magang but i kinda felt lightheaded. And then i cant take it anymore and went home at 2 pm. Arrived after ashar. Theres PLENTY of time to do stuff, right? Nope. I just laid in bed playing my phone til maghrib (iftar was chicken noodle) and continued until i fell asleep. My dream was absurd lmaoooo

19 - had custom salad hut for lunch. felt suuuper fult. bought pop cookies since it was the last day of grabfood’s 50% promo. was picked up after isya by mom. we talked with the resident who’s doing his thesis stuff and it turns out he’s from the same shs as mahmuda lmao. he bought kopsus and donat kampung for us, how kinddd :”) i said “mantap ni kakak kelasnya mahmud” and he said “kamu kan adek kelas saya juga”. kind seniors. i hope they have great careers and be successful and im learning to be kind from kind people. i dont know, im just easily touched by simple gestures lmaoo. first time trying tuku’s coffee. it’s smooth and creamy (like the milk and coffee unites (?)) and it doesnt separate when you leave it. its milky but has a strong coffee taste. Slept at 11 pm-ish, playing my phone

20 - lazed. saw long covid webinar. ate mom’s salmon mentai, pop cookies matcha cream cheese and dark chocolate. the dark chocolate one, especially a bit cold, taste soooo good wtf. concentrated sugar and chocolate at its finest. played some keyboard. saw youtube vids about the genius jacob collier. lent my byu phone number so ara could use it to catfish in coffee and bagel lol. bought sbux green tea and caramel macchiato 1 L for 100k + delivery fee and my bro said it tasted good

21 - tried pop cookies red velvet this time. Its super sweet yall and i thought martabak orins was the epitome of d40 bolus. did pamela reif 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill you. except i got doms WITHIN the day of work out. also attempted sun salutation and my leg is so damn stiff. did some work on sunday!!! wow!!!! (after wasting 2 weekends) finished skimming air gear lol. it still made me feel glorious. 

22 - volunteered to help vaccination at rptra planet senen w akis els yud kind. Finished at about 13:30. We got chicken noodle, nasi padang and mcd lol. Went to senen bus station. Prayed there. Called mahmud and turns out theres no new medical record so i went straight home. Ate the mcd and lazed in bed

23 - vaccine volunteer again, this time in sd 01 kramat, w regen nagit red adita. Observation table again. Except its twice the amount of pt compared to yesterday. Nebeng redita to gang IX and walked to nessa's place. Went to GI and we watched violet evergarden (tif gen ness kris indah ara). The ac in the screenX cgv theater wasnt even on. Picked up by mom at 20:30 ish so i hurried down. The movie was hilarious w indah's commentary

24 - sooo sleepy and lazy but finally went to harkit. Waiting for pak oji to get medicak records, i shopped at sociolla lol. Bought eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow palette, blush since i dont have those (i only have cheap 3 color mizzu eyeshadow). Did some work. Met kiki in RM. "planned" to do the rest of magang work at home and arrivd back at 3-ish pm but we all know thats a lie. Lazed. Maghrib. Bought sbux 1L to have some caffeine through the green tea. Sinau airway class by dr zeta (focused thanks to the caffeine). Had some "awake time" left and did not feel sleepy til 10:30ish pm but i had to sleep since i got 1 more fasting to go 2mrw. No progress on magang work aaaaa

25 - had indomie, boiled egg, banana and protein powder for sahur. magang. emir took a while to pick me up even though i already told him the time im arriving and i ended up ordering grab lmao and he showed up right before the grab. liqo w kak kartika and mahmud while sipping caramel macchiato. did some translation (job by dr triya)

26 - picked up pld medal, gown and buavita (lol) at salemba and then went to harkit. met kiki again. lunch was k-chop. quite good and fulfilling. waiting for mom to pick me up before maghrib. Was lazying around at night and it turns out clara came w kefas. She called but dumb ass me had my phone on silent. She surprised me and came all the wayyy with a little tayo cake and a line friends pillow. I was awkward w kefas bcs im awkward w new people :):):) she went back and then i cried afterwards in my room. Fianti sent me a wish before midnight (somehow havent fell asleep) and then i close my eyes and go to the dream world

27 - had mie goreng for breakfast. fell asleep again. woke to silvi and racheel calling me and as usual my phone was not ringing. there’s racil silvi devi reza outside the door lmao. they (including atikah) surprised me with gift (a bag). i asked them to come with me to gi since im gonna eat w regen. we tried yakiniku like and the meat was juicy and yum, better then kintan. racil dkk ate marugame udon just below. wanted to get banban but it was so crowded. went back by grab. racil and atikah stayed over. talked until like 12 am. forced myself to pray isya. 

28 - talked for hours like we usually do, tried some makeup bcs i need to practice for pld lol. tarik tiga to their place bcs i needed to borrow pld clothes lol. rearranged my room and i was sweating. i should’ve drank macchiato and did some work but i cant bring myself to so i just sleep. hangovers post feeling normal are never the best feeling

29 - woke up super late. cant bring myself to go to harkit. i feel like shit. sick and tired of feeling sick and tired ((quoting jhene aiko)). mustered some will to shower. rode my on bike pretending im going to harkit except im going to mcd. got big breakfast and lemon tea. went to flavola, ordered kopsus coklat and indomie + telor. Went back home after isya. 

30 - Binge watching sean and kaycee’s vids lol it all began with their leave the door open dance :). went to harkit by TJ after the redcap was unaccessible at 09:30ish. lunch was truffle belly chicken mushroom (somehow there’s 50% disc). Took some needed data and went back home at 14:20. did (new) translation for dr Triya. finally drank homemade matcha latte after a while. 

31 - originally intended to go to flavola after zuhur, but i just cant muster the strength. did dr triya’s translation work. didnt do any ecmocard today. felt like shit. ate the tayo small cake from clara. quite good and not too heavy. gladi kotor pld today. did green screen using mukena lol. fell asleep. skipped isya and the next morning’s subuh :( basically i ended march feeling like utter shit lol

[shytiff]

Small Nov Wins

1 - cant bring myself to study, got out of bed 10:30-ish am. While lazing around i read royal servant and do random internet stuff and watched romee's vlogs. Ate breakfast and i somehow has no appetite?? This is rare. e, cicil kompre began at 15:30 pm (i know, i waste my time a lot). Pengumuman wahana mpi wow yay kalideres makara and budi asih

2 - the weather was pleasantly cloudy. poli anestesi anak, simul. went to what used to be calais, its called flavola now. at this point i quite need some calories because i only ate bubur ayam and its like 2-3 pm ish. Eventually the hunger is gone, arrived home at about 4-ish, drank protein to curb my hunger (nanggung dinner). dad said sumn that annoyed me so after maghrib i just lazed in bed, not feeling like doing anything (even though there’s lots of exams and hw lmao), fell asleep

3 - woke up at 2 am, prated, randomly searched for angel - chancellor and taeyeon’s lyrics and i basically wept at 4 am. i assumed the song was just like,,, a guy talking to a girl, his angel, you know. EXCEPT,,,,,,,,. the 2 MVs was also rly222 beautiful 🥺. Poli geriatri today, didnt even see patient because there was no more at that time (status salin nadia). ate ichiban salad (surprisingly quite good) at dm bcs i rly do be functioning better outdoors, made matcha latte with full cream milk ((powder)), cicil PT

4 - can finally wake up late. finished 1 sitasi pt, made ikk ppt, bujing lina called about diarrhea and nausea meds, laddered the leader for tomorrow’s exam and it,, was,,, me,, group call with shiko. frantically studied for EA

5 - PT (finished in 45 mins), simul as a leader, with STEMI, VF and hypoglycemia case. somehow made it through. i suck at dosages omggg. PP by car with mom (not rly that tired) but i SLEPT after i got home and had no mood to study helpppp

6 - did my first swab test today. i pushed the doctors hand when she’s doing oropharyngeal swab im sorryyyy 😂. slept. matcha. cicil kompre

7 - still havent finished ikk (deadline: today), and still havent studied for geri and ikk AND i still managed to take a nap. why. Read a bit of kompre. Not sleepy after matcha, but insted i reread bj alex and tsubaki chou lonely planet until 2 am the next day #rippriorities

8 - im having matcha latte seven days in a row as of today :))))) woke up at 10:30 am, went to flavola with atikah and got strawberry yakult (tasted like es mony), arrived home at abt 7-ish am and there no dinner, so i drank protein and ate japota honey butter. My breakfast was chicken porridge, so my diet is sooo liquid today. Rip proper nutrition (ate buryam, lumpia, japota for the whole day and drank 3 beverage). Cicil kompre and studied geri

9 - suma geri, slept, cicil kompre, ny head kind of hurts

10 - my head still hurts, suma ikk with dr herqu and dr retno, didnt take swab result by car because the TRAFFIC in soetta so my brother took it. Thankfully negative.

11 - lulus kompre alhamdulillah, the examiner were Prof Saptawati and dr. Dani from THT. Dr dani still remembered me :"") they were very kind. Went to tamel for first wahana: klinik makara UI. Picked up masker first at mahmudas place, and then went to depok. On the way i was interviewed by maba 2020 wtf im so old. Cleaned up my room with the fam, printed sumn in barel (its quite empty there)

12 - first day at klinik makara ui. i WALKED. such wow. fixed my shoes in kutek. had breakfast in barel and bahari for lunch-dinner. somehow i felt very drained. bought Dapur Alya (nutella and regal) and 2 salads from Salad Point since there was 11.11 promo. Put all of them in the fridge. Read Fools and its sooo good omg

13 - had salad and left over bahari rice for brekkie. went to clinic by grabbike :)))), had my first teleconsultation experience today, a chemical trauma case. suma ea with the help of shiko

14 - woke up at 5:20 ish and i jogged a bit at ui lmaoo. fisip - ft - fisip. By 6:30 im already back at my room. 1 hour can be spent a lot of different ways, it turns out. Washed my clothes. Ate monstercheese pizza. Slept a bit. Went to blok m with ara (she was late as always, surprised her with koi milk tea), ate futago ya (greasy cheesy milky goodness, enak tapi eneg afterwards), bought red bean bread at la mouette, bought discounted onigiri bento box at papaya. We went to m bloc space, looked around, ate gelato at kebunide (blueberry: yum, fresh, kiiinda feels artificial, salted caramel: delicious but makes me thirsty) and did photobox at connectoon. Walked to mrt asean but turns out!! for weekends mrt is closed at 8pm. Took grabbike to sudirman, seeing the pretty city and people just hanging out, playing skateboards on the wide sidewalks.

15 - planned to go jogging with salemba frens but i woke up late (06:45), so i just lazed around. Ate onigiri bento (super worth it for 25k for the proteins), fell asleep again 10ish to 14:30 lmaoo. The doms from yesterday was present even on the right side of my lower back 🙂 the red bean bread made me feel full, and the red bean was not too sweet, which i love. Reviewed some meshwork materials i missed. Fianti called and we talked abt her and hari

16 - had mujigae for sahur and fish bite for iftar. The fish was not as soft as fish streat, but the flour was definitely better and crunchy. But it doesnt have the seasoning micin like fish streat do. The pasta was quite a lot im in food coma afterwards. Fell asleep, and my stomach was so gassy that i woke up in the middle with a headache that does not play around. Fortunately it dissapeared in the morning

17 - breakfast is rice kimchi and abon lmaoo just pretend it makes sense. The scrubs i ordered finally arrived. I fell asleep AGAIN, WHYYYY. Lost my streak in DL, i guess i can stop using it for now.

18 - finished reading blood link, girlll i thought the human died at the end. Did not buy food today wow. Took a nap and cicil kompre.

19 - brekkie at barel. Helped measuring antropometry today at clinic, and also measured my own. The fucked up thing was that i THOUGHT my body fat is still at 28% compared to the past (dr rina's research). So i looked at the old paper AND. I USED TO HAVE. 35% FAT 🙂 even my memories are in denial and are fooling me. All this time i thought i was at 28 🙂 did swab at rsui. The one swabbing was from fkui 2012 and we had small talk. It hurted more than lmk :( now this does feel like drowning in water (cause before i said "nah its not like water in nose"). Took angkot back to tamel, bought piscok lumer pocin and its soooo gooood ugh

20 - i feel like if i have breakfast with leftover rice and abon and sozzis i get hungry faster lmaoo. Ordered ken karaage from kukusan, yaa okela for 25k with ongkir. Did online posbindu education through wa. BTS BE COMEBACK 🥺 i maximized my wifi time (no wifi at tamel) so i listened to the whole album. My mobile data is at 200MB lol. Read a good longreads from the atlantic, about down synd and genetic screening. The writing is so so good im just blown away. And teary eyed.

21 - ran a bit, solid class (gastro, rheum, infection), embryo, webinar about sleep by dr Gita Anindyajati, SpKJ, bought ayam geprek gold chick (lotsss of oil since i ordered tempe, jamur, egg, bought pop cookies. matcha cheese was actually better than i expected (the combination somehow fits), dark chocolate and marshmallow is very chocolatey like mom’s brownies, and vegan strawberry cookie with a hint of mint. i wonder how they replace the egg. I wonder why after i run i dont feel hungry for a moment. bloating just gooes away

22 - joined kris' healthy weekly event (lmao) in tamsur. They went to epiwalk first. Its difficult for me to run w mask, ngl. Went back to tamel, embryo, ate leftover meal from gold and chick, felt somehow drained to the bone so i just laid in bed and lazed and lazed. Theres no soreness, but the weakness was generalized lmao. Ordered bbq chicken almond salad from salad point, it was actually quite fulfilling and delishhh (added chili sauce to the dressing). Literally laid in bed from 7 until i fell asleep and woke up at 6 the next day. Finished readin shame application lmao

23 - i still feel tired ckckck. No doms, but i feel like i just want to lay down. got DV patient today at clinic, its most likely derm numularis??? Ate salad and dark choco marshmallow cookies in the evening and that cookie. Is so damn sweet im just thinking about the increase in my blood sugar. And i like sweets so!!! Never thought id find sumn too sweet. Washed my clothes and cicil ukmppd (i put things about studying ukmppd in habitica now)

24 - ate tanoshi sushi and ufo ramen for bfast, ate the sushi again for lunch and after waking up from my sleep i tried kokku ramen (so so, but the egg yolk's good)

25 - bfast: superbubur, protein shake and cookies. (did not make me feel full long enough). Ordered burger from EATG (so so, burger bener is better) for lunch. Last day at makara ui. Ara arrived coz shes staying here in tamel. Waiting for mom to arrive from cibubur, she arrived at about 20:30. I passed out at home

26 - first day in pkm kalideres, i volunteered to be pj to avoid RSUD. my room is a mess, i feel tired after i go back. maybe its the physical withdrawal (?) because i dont walk like when im on klinik makara. came to pkm thinking i wont do anything (orientation only) but the 6 of us ended up going. i was at igd. i saw nail extraction and injected ats for another patient 

27 - talked for almost an hour with the doctor at poli lansia. went home, felt sooo tired, i slept and actually showered after maghrib. originally planned to go to sbux but i was just tired af. my mood was horrible at home. 

28 - turns out i started my period today. i havent studied at all during pkm kalideres era. embryo. slept again. read some manga by nishin something with the psychological and BL genre. 

29 - embryo. cut my hair, showered, and felt better. fell asleep on dr gita's lecture. Drank cimory banana milk with a bit of matcha powder. I dont know if its the sleep, or a bit of caffeine, but my mood feels better and im more awake. Cicil ukmppd with a slow pace. Read itasaku ff. Slept at about 2 am

30 - surprisingly, i dont feel sleepy when i wake up. poli anak today, surprisingly i got perinatology case (jaundice). presented it on pleno. for bfast i ate 3 slice of bread (2 with meat and cheese, 1 choco and cheese) and protein shake, lunch: a slice of choco cheese bread and a banana, fell asleep, dinner: 1 bakwan, a banana and nextar. i can feel that the calories i got today is even less than what i usually got (and usually i already try to limit calories that i am counting the intake amout and made sure im not too far from my bmr lmaoo (~1100)