#ifthenamefits

[firejengine]

Tl;Dr:MMORPGS taught me how to name myself. Names give me anxiety, but I didn't really realize this until I had to pick my first online name–Neon20_01–I had to pick something if I wanted to play NeoPets, so I picked the name from a seahorse Beanie Baby and split the year to give me something quickly usable. For Runescape, this rolled over, but I could make multiple accounts and I definitely did and I believe it's where I first used my name in a tag: IAMJEN, IAMJENNIFER, possibly IAMJENNY or IAMJENNA, pretty sure in all-caps. I don't remember when my siblings roped me into playing Phantasy Star Online, but that's where I landed on the name Xami/Xamii. I kept picking random names, deleting and adding random letters until I found combination of letters that seemed right. Xamii didn't actively have a meaning to me, at the time...I'm not sure if I started on MapleStory(MS) as Neon or Xamii, but eventually, I started making new names for new characters with different abilities. I was barely going to school, sick a lot, working various jobs. Kids vs. parents didn't see eye to eye, so it was every man for himself past a certain age. As long as I was earning a paycheck and had my own vehicle, I was under the radar and I could spend my money mostly how I chose, which ended up being music, games, books, clothes, and people that I cared about too blindly. During my years of MS stints, I poured probably thousands of hours and dollars on most anything I wanted. It was an online playground for a young recluse with a social side and a penchant for cute/dark things. It was an interesting mixture, especially when you add the guild aspect. I found a few guilds that I felt at home in, found some people I felt I was useful to. Eventually, I became Achiira, Kiimazui (Kimazuii?). My pets were Chii, Kyuu, Ryuu, and Arii. Those names were words picked and slightly altered from my Japanese dictionary. MS is where (Fire)Jengine started, too–it's where my official name pun games began–Jeneral, imaJen, etc. So many names, I only remember a few, but since then, I've been collecting them 🤷‍♀ ❤️‍🔥 👽🔥 #ranoutofspace #whatsinaname #namepuns #namegames #ifthenamefits #wearit #jackofmanytrades (en Naples, Maine) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoJE6SotwjL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=