#ig I'll start tomorrow
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Ugh I'm feeling like giving up on the entire IB diploma entirely recently, I have a business management ia to finish, ess ia, math ia, the EE, the TOK essay, Economics ia check, and so many tests at the same time.
I feel like I don't even care if I just pass the diploma anymore. I'm just so, so tired. I always feel like I'm not deserving of any rest or sleep if I have not done anything that is related to school. I'm so tired of hearing these thoughts go over and over in my brain. I just want to rot somewhere more often now.
I sometimes even wonder if I actually even like my school anymore. I feel constantly lightheaded in school, like everything is a fever dream, especially in certain classrooms. I have to stim a lot and I have to leave the classroom often just to go somewhere and breathe in natural air instead of AC. I also get hungry in school often, I usually eat lunch at 1 or 1:30 pm but when it's school I come back at 3:30 pm so I'm very hungry and tired by the time I come back.
It sets the energy for the whole day, I don't even feel like taking my laptop out of my bag when I get home. And what would be the point in doing something anyway? It's going to take hours and if I can't even finish it off by that time then there's no point to it for me. I literally took a day off today just so that I could start my business management IA.
And I don't even have close friends or a friend group to belong to at school. My closest friend at school battles mental health problems and I rarely see him there. And I KNOW that it's okay to be alone or enjoy things by yourself, but when you've always sucked at making friends in school it kinda gets to you later on. I feel envy when I see groups of friends and I always wonder if I will actually belong to a group like that someday. Sometimes when some classmates talk to me I always get the feeling it's for a joke which I'm the butt of. Maybe it's bc I have a monotonous way of speaking irl most of the time??
I wish that some of this stuff and all the IAs we do now was actually in DP year 1 BC it would save a lot of stress for a lot of people. Like the business ia could be done in January when I was in year 1 or something. The ess ia too. Instead of it all being crammed later on in 12th grade.
Ok but today, I'm going to make myself the cup of herbal tea I've been avoiding for weeks because in the end, I know I deserve sleep.
#ib#ib student#international baccalaureate#i was born to be an oddball who has fun and is gdnerally very silly#but here i am#ibdp#ib diploma programme#latte's thoughts#ive been thinking about doing the 100 days of productivity challenge#ig I'll start tomorrow
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sometimes you gotta take in the lil details
#non sims#i'll come up with a skyrim tag#in my tes era again#(always i just go sleeper agent on it ig)#still in my modding skyrim era i'm sick so that's not v conductive to me actually playing morrowind so this is what i've been doing#sad bc nammu made some good progress he joined house redoran he's actually level 3 and somehow keeps invading every vampire tomb#(i run away bc i cannot deal w that right now)#his slave bracers finally broke off <3#i'll compile some screens and post tomorrow maybe#i truly am the people todd coward thinks about when bethany esda is concocting the latest installment of weird ass lore told through#environmental storytelling and esoteric books and an open world crafted with meticulous detail cursed with bugs up the wazoo#but yeah modding skyrim is being surprisingly fun after i figured out mod organizer#i have bookmarked some mods that require me to regen lods dyndolod or whatever it's called but i'll do that at the end#at least in morrowind that's how i do it#i did my engine fixes my bug fixes my graphics and sounds overhauls my model replacers enb landscapes and now my cities and locations mods#armor next and then i'll start overhauling combat#i'm gunning for dark souls like bc that combat style suits me rly well and i always hated melee in skyrim#(re: armors sforz i looked at your imitations previews and i'm in love i'll have fun experimenting w/ them i owe u my life)#but yeah...... 99% of my skyrim experience has been in ps save for a brief moment i pirated it on release on my shitty laptop i had then#it's been wonderful to actually mod it
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spinel: passion, devotion, longevity
#man. just. man#i might make these drawings a series with the explorers?#idk#anyways i started thinking this one up before the newer episodes#but i think it's still pretty appropriate#i think the whole eye taunt might have been more fitting for coral?#i think that's her name#but it still works for spinel ig#i tried to make him look a little more ominous compared to amethio#i really like spinel#at first it was just bc he's a competent and scary villain and very fun#and also the type of guy i love to hate#but seeing more of him and seeing other's thoughts about him have made me really like him!!#i have so many thoughts#but i'll leave that there#it's getting late and i should sleep#pokemon presents tomorrow!!! yippee!!#shark's scribbles#pokemon#pokemon horizons#pkmn#art#fanart#pokemon fanart#spinel#spinel pokemon#pokeani#anipoke
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I'm making an art blog, btw
@tranz-rightz
#I'll still be posting art here; but I'll also be reblogging most of it over there#So it's easier to look at#There's nothing on it *yet* don't be surprised. But tomorrow I'll start the process of rb all the art from this blog#Because it is more than I thought it'd be#(This unfortunatly includes some of the older stuff...At least I can say I have imporved ig /lh /hj)#But yeah if anyone wants to check it out. But like I say the art will still be here too#Just Talking
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truly nothing like the girl i had a crush on in college (and in two separate conversations i suspected it might be mutual) posting from the beaches concert that leandra is an icon and also i found out s few days ago she and her bf just broke up
#what do i DO#in case it's not clear talking about leandra means she is in fact bi this is akin to drunk girl from party posting about chappell#(gayer actually bc everyone's loving chappel now)#the answer is that i like the leandra post and do nothing else and i wait longer than i did w my ex after her breakup#(though i was still waiting she's the one who started things) but regardless. going insane here !!!!!!#shes a tattoo artist now and she did one of mine and i had some completely unfounded hopes for that day until i found out about the bf#but now that it's over...............#vie#fuck it her name is dani her tattoo account is dose.of.dot#wait i actually am coincidentally about to make the slightest move bc my next ig post of my scrapbooking style photo dump catch up includes#the day i got the tattoo and i'll be tagging her#open to ideas to makey caption the slightest bit flirty somehow?? probably wont do it#it was going to be 'november 2022: new tattoo by @dose.of.dot 🖤 and uoft engineering tour with matt (he starts this fall!'#i was deciding between the heart and 🌿 bc the tattoo is literally that but the black heart is kind of her thing#wait. i just went on her ig again and we have the same favourite emoji it seems bc she has her name as Dani✨ and i changed mine bc i was#annoyed that john associated it w me but mine used to be sierra✨#........i think im gonna change it back it's not obvious enough that she'd think it's weird right? it literally used to be that for ages#im doing it#ok i did it and i'll make the post tomorrow and that's all
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i enjoy doing art again we're so back
#actually did the lines in the circle for the face#like the two lines to indicate the direction the character is facing#i never do those i just do the circle#but surprise it helps#i actually really liked how my sketches turned out w it#i'll never wait the fuck was i saying why did i start this tag#anyways uh#gonna upload the sketches ig tomorrow#idk actually i might just do it now#don't feel like i'd do it tomorrow unless it's like already night#yeah so i like art again#tho it's more exhausting doing it the proper way instead of doing whatever i was doing#but it's way more rewarding it feels so much better
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decided to make some stuff last minute for lawlight week cause I've got just a bit of free time and wanted to mess around with some brushes. tell me why I'm fucking COOKING rn.....
#I swore I'd just fuck around a bit but now I'm finding out#idk if I'll post a wip lemme see tomorrow if I'm still feeling good about it by then HWJABDJSND#it might just be 3am and I've been rendering for like 3 hours#my surprise when experimenting out of your comfort zone yields expected yet good results: 😯#elle is talking again#I'll probs only manage 3 pieces cause I rlly only started yesterday#and even 3 is pushing it a bit tbh lol we'll see how things pan out ig#if I don't make it on time I'll probs just post them late it's all good
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universe of constant spinning, every end a new beginning
“So, do you have an umbrella? That was like, your thing, right? At Claw?”
Ah—not again! He can’t keep zoning out while talking to people—especially his boss.
But… why was Reigen still here? It was late and he always got to work early. It wasn’t his job to stay and coddle his employees. “I—uh—no,” he stuttered, fingers twisting anxiously. “Mine was, uh, "is” broken, sir.”
‘Broken’ was a mild way to put it. More like it got destroyed.
[or, reigen gives serizawa an umbrella]
☔️2,651 words | serirei☔️
#corey writes:)#HOLY TRASH#no guys last year i challenged myself to write and post one fic a month so that i made sure i was still taking time to do what i enjoy#and not lose myself to school work right? aND I DID IT!!! so i challenged myself AGAIN this year and none of the stuff i've been working on#is fully done and i had time so i started this last night and worked on this on my down time during student teaching and when i got home!#this prolly isn't Great but it's short and something i've been thinking about since the minute i finished s2 sooooooo#and the brainrot has been SO real and actually tbh i'm pretty surprised that the fic i wrote isn't r.itsu centric lol but this idea would#NOT leave my head and i knew it wouldn't get super long like all of my r.itsu and kiddo ideas ijuhbgfvbhyuio#mp100#mob psycho 100#serirei#serizawa katsuya#reigen arataka#mp100 fanfic#serirei fanfic#guys it's about the m.lb umbrella scene okay#idk maybe this has been done before but also i. do not care because Feelings and i diD IT even tho its at the last minute lol#oops i need to shower i'm teaching all day tomorrow and my supervisor is coming to observe me ahhhhh send good thoughts pls jiuhygtfghuijoiu#okayyyyy i'll stop now i ramble when i am sleepy or nervous and i am Both i just don't want this fic to be bad but ig i panic a bit before#posting any fic haha gonna go shower now MWAH love y'all <333
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A client at work told me atta girl today i almost fainted
#he also said i'm proud of you and he wants to become my client at the new place i'm starting next week#also tomorrow is my finance final after that i'll come back and answer messages pwomise pwomise#also if i dont have you on ig pls dm me i'm more active there when classes get heavy
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I didn't even get to queue a week and it told me I reached my queue limit for the day. What the heck. Since when can I not cover a full week
#I've been queueing the whole week every week since I started what changed#ig I'll queue the rest tomorrow I'm too tired to figure it out byebye everybody#not ooc
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It's 3 am and I'm nauseous and I don't have a date tomorrow but I also don't NOT have a date tomorrow. It's platonic..but it might not be by the end of.it. if I have anything to say about it
#queerhottopic.txt#ig ore the spelling mistakes idc anymore#I can't tell if I wanna date him or what but I'll feel it out tomorrow and go for it if it seems right ig#I'm dead tired and sickly this is a terrible start#what if he thinks I'm ugly#also do I pass now??? am I supposed to use the men's bathroom when I get there. I need to bring temp tats#and my wallet. my big fuck of a wallet. Idk if I'll bring my headphones. my fat fuck pockets better fit this shit#and I nedd to take $20 out. don't let me forget. not that I'm explicitly asking anyone to remind me tomorrow. it's just something to say#I better not overheat and turn into a puddle tho. I need my hoodie or I'll die. but also it's like 9000 degrees. choices.#and I'm gonna wear my glasses. what if he doesn't even recognize me at first. he already forgot I wore glasses once before#all things for me to figure out in.... 8 ish hours#tags r funny bc this is literally just me writing out my train of thought. this is what my freak ass brain looks like from inside#I'm gonna go pass out now. the sleeping one not the fainting one. okay goodbye
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literally. shaking w anxiety rn everybody pray that this thing works out its so last minute but i need it so bad
#a girl needs someone to cover for her at her job this week and my friend rec'ed me#it is. almost 11 pm the job would start at 7 am tomorrow#i HATE doing last minute stuff but i also need money sooo#and my mom is working rn i haven't even talked to her#no idea how i'll get to the place either worst comes to worst i'll uber ig#ahhhhhh#screaming waiting for this girl to text me the details#diary entry
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Sighhhhh gotta get myself to go do dishes and then go cook dinner so I don't have to cook tomorrow night uggghhhhh
#and its already after 6 which means itll be 7:30/8 befode i start actually cooking probably#which means going to bed late and i need to be in earlier tomorrow#tomorrow night and Wednesday night I'll be tired from working on the special order so i can do takeout/frozen pancakes/something else#then i can cook again Thursday night ig#bc i have 1 leftover for tomorrow's lunch and if i cook tonight I'll have 1-2 more leftovers to have wed+thurs for lucnhes#lunches*#and then I'm off fri+sat but have to cook dinner ome of those#sunday is a late day at work unless i go on early. and monday i have to be in at 7. why.
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...
#randomly started screaming cause i won't watch metamoprh tomorrow#AND I'll have to keep off twitter and tumblr and ig and everything in case i can watch on sunday cause i don't want spoilers#I'm already going insane
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I'm gonna be real: probably made too many food miniatures for my niece. But I'm not done yet either.
#rae rants#i finished abt a page of the two pages of foodstuff i wanted to make from clay. i need to buy new supplies to move onto another category tho#ig i could start making mugs and plates and stuff. even tho i haaaate doing those.#cuz. i dont use molds. i dont own resin stuff. or a drimel. everything has to be done by hand and still be uniform.#and when i was a kid i hated that doll plates never has divets. ya know theyre just discs? always hated that.#but now that i make minis like. i understand why. its soooo annoying to make plates.#anyways. i have a mochi icecream tray im using to dry last night's batch. theyll probs be dry tomorrow. but i wanna keep working NOW.#... ig i could eat the last two strawberry mochi and take that tray too. that could work.#anyways 2. i didnt have my dolls eat a lot as a kid. i would have them have like. one meal together a day tho. if i could. tea time maybe.#but it always annoyed me that i only had like. one kind of breakfast for them.#or that i didnt have enough food for the family to have a realistic breakfast. like if one person has pancakes everyone would ya know?#i'll post pics when theyre painted. which is a while away.#and when i finish the project (which probs wont be until xmas) i'll post a bunch of pics on my instagram ig.#cuz this is a project that will be my niece's xmas present eventually.
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god it really is 2013 again my best friend is apparently not anymore and i just saw a girl in american eagle short shorts with a union jack sticker on her phone case i hate it here
#it's also june 2016 again in the most beautiful way (moving again + my brother's prom tomorrow - mine was in 2016 just before a move)#and moving means a lot of homesense and trips for me which i love with all my heart but im holding back tears in the homesense parking lot#about the aforementioned friend who's apparently ghosted me#bc she was there through the first time of all this#also do yall know how devastating it is to have just seen seen gotg vol 3 and not be able to talk to my best friend#who made me watch the first one and the entire mcu like 9 years ago#on top of that my ex and i became official the day i saw gotg2 and she got me properly into florence (the one thing she almost ruined#for me in the end) so even though i knew dog days was coming when it started that it rly hit me and that's the kind of thing i should be#texting the aforementioned friend about (who is NOT my ex to be clear)#but she went so far as to block me everywhere but it's a softblock on ig so i did send her that last night and she LEFT IT ON READ#bitch(affectionate) im trying to SKIP the awkward Why Did You Ghost Me talk and go right to being normal again!!! you did it with our other#friend why won't you do it with me!!!!!??#it's probably because i texted her like oh i see u went ahead with ur big socials delete (she was talking about leaving socials) but in#reality i was blocked#she went back to our other friend that same day and didn't come back to me#not in a the other friend stole her way we're all good all 3 of us except that SHE depression ghosted me again#actually some of yall know her so if u talk to her at least make her tell me if there's some other reason shes doing this pls#or if ur her reading this and it was just a depression ghost i'll pretend it never happened if u come back with a meme and try to not do#this again#vie
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