#iii / ask. it's playing god and there's a penance paid for

[pei-na]

@shimmerbeasts said ; x

"Tear them apart!"

// the voice echoes like it's inside of his head and his first instinct is to assume it's rhaast. it certainly doesn't sound like him, though. so, he cringes, then stares off into the distance. the scythe in his hand radiates it's own warmth. kayn feels the source of the voice should be familiar at least. somehow he can't tell if that's a feeling that comes from himself or the darkin that nestles at the back of his head.

" you know I don't take orders, right? " , he eventually speaks into the space around him. if anyone saw him they probably might think he's a little crazy, standing in the middle of nowhere, talking to himself out of nowhere.

his fingers tap on the scythe. now it's quiet and it drives him insane. rhaast should say something at least. his grip tightens. kayn is a man who doesn't take orders. being ordered into violence only makes him not want to do it.

one darkin telling him what to do is enough. two is too many. one already is too many, drives him insane enough. at least, he's assuming it's another one. sounds, feels familiar enough to when rhaast was calling for him.

he takes the advice, at least. he stays on guard. there should be something around that the voice should be referring to. his gaze wanders around. shurima seems to have a lot of area that's just straight up nothing but sand, it's absolutely not his favourite place to be.

finally, he hears rhaast humming in the back of his head. " you've got something to say about the newcomer in my head? " , he speaks up, taking steps forwards, leaving footsteps in the sand behind him. standing still only makes him feel more vulnerable and exposed.

the hum is interrupted, but nothing feels any clearer. rhaast communicates there's familiarity in the voice. " well, no shit. " , his eyes roll in return.

[pei-na]

@strxngertogether said ; x

i am uncertain whether to believe you. Cait!

// kayn huffs, and crosses his arm like some kind of child throwing a tantrum. their distrust only makes him more upset. there he is telling them the grand tale of how he came to be, and they won't even believe him?

he hears rhaast at the back of his head, he teases him and kayn rolls his eyes. " well, what do I care if you believe me? " his tone drips with spite, arrogance and anger. something bubbles at the back of his throat and he pushes it down.

" I don't fucking know what else to tell you, I am from ionia. "

[pei-na]

@strxngertogether said ; x

you need a hairbrush. Connor!

// kayn feels groggy as hell. being looked at like that doesn't really improve his mood right upon waking up, so he grimaces, giving a huff. when connor gets far too close, he moves back, running a hand through his messy hair.

" no, fuck you. " , is all he manages to utter out, looking around the room as if he's not entirely awake yet. he probably isn't, all things considered. sleeping over at other people's places is weird, because he doesn't know what he's allowed to touch and he doesn't know what rhaast is going to touch and not care about.

" ugh. what time is it? "

[pei-na]

@strxngertogether said ; x

maybe you're not a complete moron. Connor!

// the exclamation makes kayn chuckle. " now what gave you that idea? " , he asks, holding up the puzzle cube he had been toying with in his hands. he'd really just been bored, not really even trying to solve it, just found this somewhere and has now been shuffling the pieces around.

" this thing's probably made for children. " , kayn adds, squinting at the material it's made of. he's never seen anything like this in ionia, but it's a little akin to things he's seen in noxus. makes sense, piltover and zaun have a lot of trade going on with noxus, no matter the conflict.

rhaast just gives a hum from the back of his head. " what the fuck do you want? " , kayn says, defocused from connor but it does just sound like he's saying it to him.

[pei-na]

@strxngertogether said ; x

you ask a lot of questions, Kayn. Connor!

// kayn shrugs. he hasn't really been in this area before, and it's very different from both noxus and ionia. so of course he's going to ask a lot of questions and try to understand what is going on.

his arms cross. " wow, I'm sorry for trying to be mindful, fuckhead. " , he snarls, huffing like he's a child about to throw a tantrum. the noxian ionian is just a little sensitive.

" c'mon rhaast, instead of asking questions, we'll just kill everyone we see. " , kayn says to himself and he could almost see rhaast looking like a child in a candy store in his head.

[pei-na]

@strxngertogether said ; x

i'd just eat the cheese. Connor!

// kayn stares at the cheese. it absolutely doesn't look like it should be good anymore, nor does it smell good, but a lot of cheeses don't really smell good. connor's opinion doesn't really help when rhaast is agreeing with him.

no. he's not doing that. he shoves the plate of cheese away from him, then looks at connor judgingly. " neither of you would survive a DAY in the wild. " , is exclaimed, as he throws his hands up. " stop trying to poison me. both of you. what the hell. "

rhaast chuckles at the back of his head. ' aww, c'mon, I thought it's funny. I'm sure it's safe. '

his eyes narrow. " absolutely not. " to connor, it just looks like kayn's talking to himself.

[pei-na]

@shimmerbeasts said ; -

"Rhaast? Is that you? Love the new vessel."

// " right? aatrox didn't like it, but I think he's being a buzzkill. " , the voice manifests as a creature right behind it's vessel. to most people, it just looks like he's speaking through kayn, or kayn is talking to himself. rhaast is like a shadow, only visible to other darkins, or his vessel himself.

" I mean, this one's got everything I need. I don't know what he's complaining about. and the scythe is cool. "

he's at least grateful he's not being talked through again. although there is something weird about seeing the actual manifestation of what's usually just an annoying, bickering voice at the back of his head. it's worse when there's actually someone for him to talk to.

this means he gets to be acknowledged outside of kayn's head. makes him feel annoyingly real. his grasp on the scythe gets uncomfortable, and he huffs. he feels like he's being talked about by two doting parents. " I'm right here, you know. I can hear you both. " , kayn eventually speaks up, to break through their chattering. his tone is certainly slightly annoyed, to say the least.

[pei-na]

@flordivina said ; x

“Kick the Noxians in the face~? Oh darling, how scary” The Enchantress couldn’t help but chuckle in genuine amusement. “Now now; child; isn’t that too mean? I hope you haven’t broken too many mirrors to quell such desire ♥”

// patience isn't exactly what he is known for. with how long he hasn't been in noxus, ongoings of the black rose aren't typically things he knows about a lot. he's heard things, here and there. but they've escaped his interest.

he's ionian. the blood that flows through his veins may be noxian, but his purpose, his will, his loyalty lays with the land that raised him. " nah, I think I'll start it off by kicking you. " , are the words he arrogantly ends up on, ignoring rhaast's annoying laughter. clearly someone in this head thought leblanc's joke was funny. certainly wasn't him though.

the scythe in his hands is like an extension of his body. he wields it like he was born with it in his crib. and right now, he certainly doesn't feel like talking.

[pei-na]

@venstm said ; x

hc about his relationship with zed and the order of shadows as a whole !

// honestly, he wouldn't know where to start. they raised him, especially zed, they gave him food, warmth, comfort, when noxus abandoned him to die in battle. the order of shadows provided him a new purpose, when he almost lost his. he deeply desires to prove himself to them, to zed.

the order of shadows is made up of people similar to him. he feels a kinship, but also a certain amount of distance.

he'd say it's complicated. he knows nothing else. he knows only what zed taught him. it's what he clings to, deeply. he hopes to be understood when he corrupts himself for a greater purpose.

[pei-na]

@strxngertogether said ; x

you let it keep hurting because you think hurting is who you are. Connor's absolutely projecting lol

// hurting is what kayn was born as. every blood cell that flows through his veins is infused with this very pain, as if he was made up of hurting and despair - as any noxian would be.

this is a reality he faced a while ago, but has yet to ever find it in himself to accept. hurting is who he is : every fiber of his body was born hurting, every fiber of his body screams in a way that wants to keep hurting.

his blood keeps him hungry, never satiated, always craving more, more, more, more, and when he frowns and crosses his arms as a response to the other's words, he hears rhaast's mocking laughter, and it only solidifies into even more of a headache.

' read you like a book ' , he'd comment, making the noxian ionian roll his eyes, wish that the darkin had a physical form that he could grab and strangle. holding the scythe isn't exactly the same.

after enough silence and studying the boy in front of him like he could read his entire history just by the pores on his skin. " it doesn't hurt. " , are the disorientating words he ends up settles on. then, he refocuses the attention onto the aforementioned scythe. " this thing's not even worth half the respect it keeps on yapping about. "

[pei-na]

tag drop 1.

I / ic. I look into the waters and I see a face I don't understand II / ooc. the sacrifical lamb III / ask. it's playing god and there's a penance paid for IV / memes. your human starter kit came incomplete V / musings. eyes ablazed with apathy VI / self. but I'm not dead / just rotting VII / about. the child is gone / the killer remains VIII / aes. but you don't love the flames / you just want them for yourself IX / q. he wasn't fast enough / so he's in the dark now