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xomaleyaxo · 7 months

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Broken Melodies → Blackpink 5th Member

Synopsis: When she tries to sing, all that escapes are broken melodies, each note echoing the shattered fragments of her heart.

Warnings: Talks about drug use (Very minor)

Word count: 1.2k

*Imagine Jennie as Rae*

June 8th 2019 (Didnt want to write too much of his scandal as Ik we should all move on and know that he has served his time and has changed truly for the better)

"Ahhh, that was so fun!" she exclaimed, walking towards their dressing room backstage with Lisa, linking arms. They had just finished their show in Macau, China, and were elated with the turnout and how everyone was enjoying themselves. Mirae settled on the couch, ready to fall asleep right there but couldn't due to the constant vibration of her phone.

"That's odd," she thought to herself, pushing the negative thoughts aside, assuming it was just her mom checking in on her. When she turned her phone on, she noticed multiple calls from Hanbin, her boyfriend, and frowned. He knew she had a concert, and he usually called a couple of hours later when she went to the hotel for the night. Checking the messages, she saw frantic ones from him, urging her to call him. She decided to wait and head to the hotel before calling him, not wanting to discuss anything serious with the staff around, especially the new tour staff that had joined them.

"Unnie, I'm going to the hotel," she informed Jennie and headed out with her manager, quickly briefing him on the situation. As she made it inside, she called him and laid down on her bed, wondering what was so urgent.

"Hello?" he said into his phone, sounding very sad and serious. "Hey baby," she said softly, sensing his sad tone. "Mirae ah," he said shakily. "Mhm?" she replied back, slightly worried about what he was going to say. "I'm leaving," he announced after a couple of moments of silence between them. "What?" she said sitting up, "What do you mean you're leaving?" she asked.

Hanbin paused, taking a deep breath before saying "I took some substances back in 2016, and it's all been exposed now. I have a drug test coming up, and a trial, and by tomorrow, I'm sure everyone in the world will find out. I can't let this jeopardize the group or you, so I'm leaving," he explained shakily. Mirae was shocked; she expected news, but not this. She knew he was struggling back in the day, but never to this extent. She could tell he was trying not to cry; this was undoubtedly mentally challenging for him, and she knew he needed her there to help calm him down and figure things out.

"Okay, hey, let's just breathe," she said into the phone, her eyes starting to tear up as she thought about the situation he was in. She loved him; she really did. However, in that moment, all she could think was, "Kim Hanbin, how were you such an idiot?" Knowing him, though, she understood how much he regretted it. She knew he would do anything to go back and change his mind, and that pained her immensely. The damage had been done, and now, she worried about what this would do to him mentally.

After hearing him breathe into the phone and calm himself down, she said, "Okay, now explain everything again slowly, what do you mean your going to leave?" She asked. "I talked to the boys, I confessed everything, apologized to them, and told them I'm leaving the group to prevent them from being caught up in this trial," he said, his voice cracking as he spoke.

She sighed into the phone, wishing she could be there with him and hold him. "Okay, if that's what you think is best," she said sadly, a tear running down her face. "What about us?" she asked a moment later, already anticipating what he was about to say but not wanting to believe it until he said so himself.

Hanbin was quiet for a moment, his heart breaking as he mustered the courage to say the words he desperately didn't want to. "It's over between us, it has to be. I will protect you with every fiber of my being and make sure that no one will even think of you being involved in this mess," she listened to his words and let her tears fall freely. She truly couldn't believe any of this was real.

"Baby, please," she said, her voice cracking as she held back sobs, "I love you. I'll stand with you and will be here no matter what the decision is," she pleaded into the phone. She could hear him break down, his sobs echoing through the phone, and it hurt— it hurt so bad.

"No, no, you can't. This is my mess, and I'll deal with it myself. The boys said the same thing, but I have to do this on my own. You all worked too hard for this to be the reason for all of you to get shunned from the industry," he said, sniffling and wiping his tears.

"Hanbin, please. How do you think this is going to go down? You're just going to leave us behind and try to forget us? We all love you, and no matter what, we will be here. Don't leave us like this" she said, her heart aching.

"This is my battle, Mirae, mine, and I will never drag you all into this mess. Anyway, you know even if we did continue this, how long could we hide? The media will be watching me like a hawk; they will find out instantly about our relationship, and you will come down with me. I cannot let that happen. This is your dream, and I've seen you work so hard for it," he explained.

Mirae was silent, listening to him. Her body ached, and she felt like she couldn't breathe. This was supposed to be her happy ending. After so many years of liking each other, they had finally gotten together. This was supposed to be the happiest time of her life. How could it go so wrong?

"How will we ever move on? We are in love, and my heart only beats for you, Hanbin. Only you. Do you think that you're doing me a favor by leaving like this? No, you're not. Even if you leave, I will always be wondering if you're eating, if you're sleeping, if you're taking your vitamins, if you're stressed. I'll always be wondering these things because I know you. I know this will mentally mess you up. So, even if you decide to block me and never pick up my phone again after this, you know I'll always be worried."

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me, please. You know I hate it when you worry," he said, leaning into his bed—the bed where they spent countless nights cuddled up and laughing about stupid things, the bed where they had their first times, the bed where she used to hold him when everything was going wrong, the bed where they wrote stupid songs and confessed their love for each other.

If it were any other situation, he would laugh at himself. When would he ever have the courage to break up with her? She was way too good for him anyway; everyone always said that. She was like a ray of sunshine that lit up every room she walked into. Her smile, with that deep dimple, made anyone with a heartbeat swoon as she smiled at them. She was the epitome of beauty, and here he was, breaking up with her? How stupid was he?

The pair sat in silence, only hearing sniffles through the phone, and though their hearts ached, they knew it was over. "It's getting late," he sighed, leaning his head against his pillow, "you must have had a long day, with the tour and everything."

"Don't you dare try and hang up this phone, Kim Hanbin," she said, her frustration at the situation coming out. Hanbin chuckled slightly at this, the first time in the day that he let out any sort of laugh or smile.

"I'm gonna miss you, you know?" he said softly, having no strength left to even speak clearly anymore. "I'll miss you too," she whispered and then slowly said, "So much."

"You know, one day we will have moved on from this. I hope you find someone that will be way better than I ever was." He said sadly. "There will never be anyone like you, Hanbin, ever. Even if, for some magical reason, I do find someone, I'll always be sitting there thinking about how it would have been with you," she said, sighing slightly.

"I'll always be cheering you on. Even if I never show it, even if you never hear from me again, I will. You are the brightest star, Mirae, the brightest, and don't you ever let anyone diminish you." He said.

"I know I messed up. I'm so sorry that this mistake led to all of this, and I hope you know that I would take it back in a heartbeat. I'm so sorry to break your heart, but just know that I love you and that this is for the better," he said after a couple moments of silence between them.

Mirae sat there listening to his words, not wanting to say goodbye, she knew that after this was over, Hanbin would remove her on everything and never contact her again to make sure that she is protected from any false allegations.

"Just promise me this," she said softly after their quiet moment. "Hm?" he said. "Promise me that you'll come back, no matter how long it takes. Just come back and make music, music that you love. Do what you love, Hanbin. Just promise me that. Promise me that once this mess is over, you'll truly find happiness and move on with your life. You did a stupid thing, we know, but don't let that ruin everything you've worked for. Come back and be happy, okay?"

Hanbin smiled at her words. He didn't know if he would ever come back to the public eye after this. His allegations were big, and he worried that nobody would ever truly like him again. However, her words touched something in him. He would try to find happiness, for her. She meant the world to him, and if she wished him to promise that to her, then he would fulfill it 100 percent.

"I promise" he said softly. Mirae smiled at that, for the first time since this call started and was proud of him. "We should probably end the call now right?" he said sadly. Mirae sighed and said "I guess"

Neither of them proceeded to move, feeling frozen in the moment. They didn't want this; of course, they didn't. However, they knew that it was over, and the world had to move on, even if they wished it stayed in place.

"I love you," he said, "Thank you for being one of the best things to come out of all of this. You are so, so special, Mirae, and I wish that one day, when we are both moved past this, we can talk and laugh at the memories and be proud of ourselves for getting through this."

She laughed at his words, tears starting to fall again. "I love you too," she said shakily before continuing, "Please take care of yourself, eat and sleep well, and just know that one day this too will pass. Thank you for all these beautiful memories, thank you for being there and being my constant throughout it all. It hurts to say goodbye, but let's meet one day and chat like old times."

"Alright, Goodnight," he said sadly, and she replied, "Goodnight, Hanbin," and with that, their call was over. As the call ended, Mirae sat in her room and just sobbed for what felt like hours. They were meant to head to Sydney the next day, and here she was, wanting to leave this all behind and go to him.

She knew she couldn't, though. Nothing could get Kim Hanbin out of this mess, and he knew it too. She felt sad for him, realizing how harshly the media judged and how even one mistake could jeopardize everything.

Regrets flooded her thoughts; perhaps if she had been there for him back then, he wouldn't have been compelled to resort to something like that. Maybe things would have been different, and iKON would still have had their loving leader who always put them and their needs above himself. The weight of "what-ifs" pressed heavily on her heart.

Thinking about the boys, she sent them all individual messages, asking them how they were doing and letting them know that she was there for them whenever they needed. Bobby responded immediately, asking her if she was alright and if Hanbin had contacted her. She let him know that they had broken up, and he called her, chatting with her and expressing how sorry he was.

He blamed himself, feeling that he could have helped Hanbin more during that time as the older one between them. Mirae reassured him that nothing could have been changed, and they all needed to find time to forgive him and move on. She knew he didn't want to put them in this position and that he was likely filled with remorse.

Ending the call with Bobby, she decided she needed to see her girls; only they could help her right now. She went to each of their doors and knocked, hoping they all came out together so she could tell them what was happening. Jisoo and Jennie made their way out from their doors first, she saw them and broke down, crying loudly into their arms. The pair looked at her confused, brought her into Jennie's room, and asked her what was going on.

Lisa and Chaeyoung came out a little while later and saw Mirae sobbing. They frantically asked what was going on, as it was very rare for the girl to be a crying mess. She explained what happened, and the girls all comforted her, held her, and helped calm her down.

As she finally fell asleep in Jennie's bed, the girls all huddled and messaged the iKON members, checking in on them before heading to their own rooms. They were shocked, as they never could have expected this to happen. They were all worried for the girl. They had two more tour dates happening, and they didn't know if she was well enough to perform, having just had her heart broken.

Jennie frowned seeing Mirae looking so sad, even in her sleep. The girl tucked her in and cuddled her, hoping to give her some warmth, knowing that this was her first breakup, especially from someone that was also her best friend.

June 13th 2019

5 days had passed, and slowly but surely, Kwon Mirae was starting to get better, attempting to shift her focus to the concert instead of what was going on back home. She turned off her phone and only allowed calls from her family and close friends, deciding against going on social media as everyone had figured out about the scandal, and she couldn't bear seeing his name being dragged through the mud.

Everyone knew how close the girls were to iKON; they all grew up together, so she knew that the others were just as sad as she was, as they all cared for Hanbin and wished him the best.

As they got their makeup done for the concert, she turned to her members and said, "I'm gonna try my hardest tonight, you guys. Thank you so much for being here for me the past couple of days. I don't know what I would have done without you." She said and tried to stop her tears from falling as she spoke; she just felt so grateful for them. They truly were her family, and she was so thankful they were there for her through it all.

"Hey, stop that," Jisoo said, hugging the girl. All of the girls then gave her a group hug, knowing that these next two shows would be hard, but then she could have a little break to finally rest and deal with the situation.

The concert went on with full swing, and Mirae tried her hardest to give her best despite the turmoil going on in her personal life. She was energetic and smiling through songs, interacting with fans, and even joking around with them throughout the night.

She thought she had made it in the clear until they decided to sing their final song for the night, 'Stay.' She sighed and tried to control her emotions as the song started up. She was seated between Lisa and Jennie, attempting to control her voice as she sang the intro. 'Stay' was a song she wrote when she was a trainee, a song with deep meaning, but the lyrics hit her super hard that day as they resonated with her situation.

"Stay, stay, stay with me," she sang, her voice breaking slightly, and the tears came flowing out before she could stop them. She put her hand over her eyes in an attempt to halt them, but as the song progressed, and Lisa whispered in her ear that it was okay, the tears kept flowing. Soon, everyone in the audience was awing at her, wondering why she was so emotional.

She tried her hardest to control the tears, but the more she heard the lyrics, the more she thought of him. He was everything to her, the reason why she became who she was. Before anything else, they were friends, and she truly respected and loved him for always being there for her, supporting her through it all.

The bond they shared was beyond just a romantic relationship; it extended to the connections they had with each other's families. She was so close to his mother and sister. She had witnessed her grow up from a baby to a beautiful young girl. The thought of not being able to see them and call to check in was unimaginable for her.

Despite being surrounded by so much love from her fans and members, she felt incredibly alone. In that moment, she only craved one person's love – his. She wanted him back, needed him back, and yet deep down, she knew he would never return to her. The ache of that realization added to the weight on her heart.

She finally gained some control during the ending part of the song and finished it strongly. However, she knew that now everyone would be discussing why she was crying online.

As she made her way through the backstage area, she spotted her mother and rushed into her arms, sobbing. Her mom had come from New Zealand to support her daughter, aware that she was going through a rough time. She was saddened when she saw Mirae struggling to control her emotions during the final song.

"You did amazing, baby, don't worry," her mom assured her, rubbing her back and holding her daughter as she sniffled. "I know, it's just so hard, Mom. Everyone will start wondering why I'm crying now, and I have no clue what to say," Mirae said as she lifted her face, and her mother wiped away her tears.

"Hey, who cares? They will never know the truth anyway. Don't do this to yourself, baby; it's okay," her mom said, comforting her. They made their way to the hotel, and her mother's love helped her feel much better.

A couple days later:

During their first night in Sydney, Australia, Rae was observed being highly energetic and vibing well with the audience. However, as the night progressed, she appeared visibly emotional during the performance of their song 'STAY'. Numerous speculations have surfaced regarding the reasons behind her emotional state, but as of now, nothing has been officially confirmed. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!

Comments:

Username: Wasn't she super close with Hanbin? Maybe it could have been that?

Username: ^They have been friends since their trainee years apparently and even their mothers are close so yes I do assume that was the reason

Username: Regardless of what may have happened, can we just say that she is such a pretty crier? And did you guys hear her voice? Even through the tears, she sounded like an angel.

Username: Hanbin this, Hanbin that, can you guys just assume that maybe the song was just sad, and she felt the emotions of it while being around her fans? And didn't she write this song? Obviously, you get emotional when singing something, especially a song like "Stay." Everyone, just leave her alone.

Username: The members comforting her was so nice to see; they truly are a family. I hope that everything is okay, and she is better for their next shows.

Username: What if she was dating him and now they have to break up? I heard so many rumors that these two were a thing.

Username: ^If neither of them confirmed it, don't assume anything, especially now with the trial going on.

A/N- Just wanted to write this sad breakup chapter for my Oc and Hanbin and will be doing many more (Hopefully happier ones)

Also I may do a part 2 to this fic where they catch up and see how well things are going for the both of them.