#ill.img

[stillilliminal]

[socialistsooner420]

i just love this song so much

[stillilliminal]

what happened here?

why don't you remember?

[stillilliminal]

theres no going back

[stillilliminal]

what time is it? am i dreaming? this place feel so peaceful.... but... not real?

[stillilliminal]

the lights are leaking

[socialistsooner420]

ok so ik its pretty insignificant to yall but im proud of myself and wanna pat myself on the back so idgaf its my blog lmao

so again probably insignificant to yall but pretty big deal to me, because my agoraphobia has become so severe i can barely leave my bedroom. but the other morning, i actually stepped outside and took a walk thru my neighborhood & got a cup of mocha chai from the coffee shop. I had my partner walking w me, and the fresh morning air felt nice (altho a bit cold.)

heres some photos from my journey, part 1/??

my neighborhood is an art district so its got some nice strange aesthetics

[stillilliminal]

every day i feel like more of a shell of my former self

[stillilliminal]

the air is cold on the dock tonight

[stillilliminal]

we're stuck down here forever, but at least we're still happy

[stillilliminal]

"don't you remember when we went to the park? how happy you were? wasnt that nice? why don't you want to go back? it would be good for you to get some fresh air."

the memories are there, but i've lost the good feelings of them. the places are still there, but now they just make me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. overexposed. overwhelmed.

[socialistsooner420]

theyre almost touching hands...... s o close.............

[stillilliminal]

where did you go? why??

you left no clues behind.

[stillilliminal]

im downstairs in the food court.

please come down and join me.

[socialistsooner420]

these pictures aren't edited. these are pictures i took from my back porch, right after the storm ended. it was this fucking bright. i pretty much had to do a 180 after taking these just these 2 pictures because it was so bright it legitimately was hurting my eyes.

as an okie, im pretty used to intense storms. but this was something i've never experienced before. rain and thunderstorms really dont tend to last very long here, but this was like over an hour.

it was so intense. it was literally shaking my house for over an hour from all of the lightning strikes landing on the ground all around me, which was also flashing so brightly and constantly it was lighting up my entire house like a rave. it was so loud and disorienting and chaotic i was just like????????what's happening???????

that was so dang wild, to say the absolute least. when i stepped outside and saw that bright white sky i was like wait did i die????

seriously like ???????what???????

[socialistsooner420]

this worm so big

cup for scale

big worm