#im actively hurting the entire head by being back on my bullshit but that doesn't exactly help my bullshit now does it
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Nothing like being aware of how pathetic you are while messaging your boyfriend
#overall we are single i mean anton#yeah... idk feeling like shit i have baggage it's fine#just i dont know how to talk to him when like this without being pitiful#and i fucking hate pity#despise it#and every time i get bad he gets sad and i cant do that to him#i stayed up till 6:30 am drunk and venting at a camera feeling like absolute dog shit#tried to pass out#and only slept an hour and a half and now we're here#im actively hurting the entire head by being back on my bullshit but that doesn't exactly help my bullshit now does it#if im fucking manic (which i mean im high energy and not sleeping) then why am i also fucking depressed fuck off#worst of both worlds#hey um like if you fuckinnnn read dear god#i am probably going to delete this in a few hours but jfjfjrjgjrjfjdkdkskskekrjufudhsnfkmskdjfbdjdjd#should note that this is rene no fuckin shit but#i need a tag
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