#im in my last semester of school pray for my soul

[squareberry]

Paradox Delcatty and Breloom🐱🍄

[dmdramooos]

5:37am

I woke up this morning truly asking myself “how am I doing?” Not to sound all negative or anything but for the most part, I’ve been feeling nothing but t i r e d. I know that others have it worse and if anything, I should be grateful for the things that I have --- which I am. But, I guess I haven’t exactly gotten used to being so damn busy all the time while also trying to get my body right, soul right, mind right. I haven’t been able to fit 8hours in my sleeping schedule as I should but having a 10hour school day plus working at 7am the next morning is just..... exhausting. However, should I really be complaining though? I manifested absolutely everything that I prayed for / asked the Universe for / meditated on. Again... if anything, I should be grateful for the things that I have.

I’ve been such a homebody nowadays and for one, I actually enjoy it. The fear of “fomo” has lessened and I’ve been more career-driven; my grandparents would be proud. I’m also trying to write more in my journal but it’s been kind of hard to pick it up nowadays because my mind is either in the clouds, sleeping, or focused on school and work lol. 

Anyways, it’s Thursday and then tomorrow is Friday which means I only have today and tomorrow to work my shifts then I finally have the weekend off. We’re throwing a Halloween party aka my first house party (& probably my last for a while since I made the rational / adult decision to move back in with my parents once this lease is over so that I can 100% focus on my radiology program + stacking up money) without hosting @ my parents’ house so this should be interesting. As far as moving back in with my parents .... it was a hard pill to swallow because my ego wouldn’t allow it. Thinking rationally though, it is the best move as of right now. Since I pay for absolutely everything that I have (from car payments, gym payments, cell phone payments, rent, credit card dues, social outings, traveling plans, & now the radiology program), living back with my parents so that I can focus without stressing about working more in order to pay rent just makes so much sense to me. Granted, I feel fortunate enough to have parents who are more than willing to take me back in. I also feel humbled and grounded knowing that I actually pay for my own things, hardly ever asking my parents for help until now. Living on my own was an amazing experience that I wish went a little differently (aka roommates ain’t for me) but I need to sacrifice 2 years of living with my parents in order to wake up one morning in my own beautiful apartment that I don’t have to worry about since I got money flow while still in my late 20s. In other words, I gotta play life smart NOW rather than being sorry later. 

Life is good overall though. Can’t exactly complain. I have an amazing job, amazing friends, still with the same girl for 6 years now, Im graduating this semester, and I’ve been so hungry to experience more in this world. Traveling has been on my mind for a while, let’s see where I end up.

[pierresonalthoughts]

im feeling like talking about myself to The Void™

so heres a whole ask prompt that im just gonna answer without nobody really asking for it or reading it, actually

ice cream asks

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

when i was 16, bc my best friend had kissed my our two best friends in a party, drunk off champagne, and she surprise gave me a kiss like a week later to keep it even. I answered saying ‘hey, i guess its a nice time to tell u that im gay?’. we laughed, got real awkward and never talked about that again

but if its the actual kiss that i did wanna have + w a boy, it was when i was 17, one week before the college exam for the one im currently in. bc it is technically the most difficult college exam of the country, or at least the one with biggest competition, i was so fckn nervous that i went on a tinder date with some boy who ended up being such a bad kisser, such a bad conversation and an acquaintance to like half my closest friends.

french vanilla: how old are you?

18, but nearly 19

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

germany, japan and england. i used to want to go to USA but with the whole current shituation? nope

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

im trying to learn french, german and japanese so theres those

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

no cosmetics, we die like goblins

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

depends on the mood. i love walking through the outdoors but i literally spent 70% of this semester in my bed, so thats both a reason to favor both options

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

nope, used to want to play guitar but rn ill just sing badly under my breath

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

i have a little playlist of songs that im listening ad nauseum at all times, but rn its either Praying, the whole Melodrama album or the whole Red Velvet new album

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

between two lungs, the only exception, sakura-colored time capsule

cheesecake: what's your zodiac sign?

libra sun, virgo rising and idk my moon or the rest rly

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

pool is p much bootleg beach but i love both. but the whole beach is so good? walking by the shore, the activeness of the water, beach food, the sound of waves, just all in all 10/10

chocolate chip: what's your most popular post?

absolutely this 270k post

bubblegum: books or movies?

with the books i can just savor the story for way more time so books? and i can do it like at random times and places so thats right within my aesthetic whipping out a book at random moments.

but i both wish i had time to read in my shit rushed life and i definitely need more money to spend on actual books. so i end up watchin more movies since i can just watch it at 3am and with some easy pirating

pistachio: manga or anime?

same feelings about books vs movies

salted caramel: favorite movies?

i dont even know really

birthday cake: favorite books?

probably the hitchhiker series, but i love me some classical lit like jane austen and machado de assis

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

i love kuragehime with my life, mob psycho with my soul and jojo (parts 4,6,7) with my full love for extraness

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

oh man, im going for the ones that made the most impressions on me, like ouran, madoka, bokurano, katanagari, nichijou and psycho pass

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

like all? i shit you not that i liked all my subjects in high school and now in engineering college, i loved algorithms and data structures

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

nope but i rly want a cat

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

a friend of mine convinced me to read homestuck right after cascade, and when i read it i started following the updates here. so, since october/2011? the truly darkest times of this site. i remember seeing a full episode of doctor who in a 200 gifs gifset when photosets had no image limitation

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

i wanna say cloudy weather but that just makes me depressed. but i love when its raining enough to streets go empty but not enough to it being fully inconvenient when you have an umbrella, bc it makes for the most aesthetic strolls under a nice umbrella, with only my thoughts and music, and protected from the elements

black cherry: four words that describe you?

gay nerd depressed and supportive, i guess

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

my life, all the things i need to do and the possibility of stopping being good at the only things im good at

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

i really cant find a pattern on my music taste so idk

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

i absolutely sold my soul to Fini, not even a question

toffee: a card game that you're good at?

ill kick anyones ass in Uno and ill kick my own ass in solitaire

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

yes im one of the few people i know that eats the breakfast from my college cafeteria, but thats mostly bc breakfast food is a loophole in my hundreds of picky eating no-nos

dark chocolate: turn ons?

any boy with piercings gets instant +3 on my 1-10 scale and im a sucker for perfume

fudge: turn offs?

general shitty personality, smoking and i guess i still have some fatphobia to deconstruct too

peach: how do you relax?

haha i dont. but i guess watching anime, scrolling through this hellsite, listening to some tunes, walking around aimlessly and making a cocoon out of myself in my bed count

praline: a popular book you haven't read yet?

im so out of touch with the current trends that i cant even say what i havent read

superman: do you like sweaters?

im living in hoodies for the last month or so but the general weather here is not exactly sweater weather and my hometown only goes from 25-31 celsius everyday of the year

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

i hate tea and most of my liquid intake is in coffee with milk

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

the piano i guess

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

ofc, either with videos in the interwebs and with my friends

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

a more efficient use of internet data when in mobile, bc good god im losing my life waiting for things to load

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

i love every webcomic that i follow

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“too gay to function” is absolutely an accurate definition of me tbh

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

no color and 6/10 were bit off

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

indirectly by a girl friend i had in my school, and by my bestfriend’s brother this may

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

hahahaha im pretty sure i had at least four painfully hopeless and debilitating crushes on straight boys ever since 2013

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

my sleeping schedule is so fucked up that i just pass out in the middle of the morning, afternoon or night, so thats both naps and my actual hours of sleep

mint: the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

hahaha nope, not unearthing any memories, nope, thank you

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

no

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

i wanna be home, in fortaleza

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

yea, ever since i was 5 and i cant see shit without them

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

neapolitan, cream and theres an ice cream shop in my hometown that has a lemon pie flavor that actually sent my soul to heaven