#im just. arrgrhhghhgh i just need it to be a little less often than this
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I!! Hate!! Random!! Hunger spikes!!!
#gamer txt.#its fucking worse because some of them arent random of fucking course theyre not and it sucks shit#i do not need these responses anymore how can i communicate that to my body?#i mean i never needed them in the first place i couldnt fucking respond to them whether or not i ate was out of my fucking control#it just seems incredibly cruel now that my body is just. continuing. like the punishment never ended#its not my fault i struggle to eat properly around my family ok!!! take it up with them its their fault for taking me to a buffett alright?#it just. it feels like a mean reminder that were still only partway through month 2 of the anniversary and that theres another to come#i know my body is trying to look after me is trying to make me eat i know its a trauma response but g-d fucking dammit#im not there anymore ok!!! its been nearly 3 years since it stopped!! were fine were good!! yes were scared but were brave cmon!#just. stop it with the hunger spikes. it hurts so fucking bad#its legitimately counterintuitive it hurts so much that i cant actually move like. how am i meant to get food like this huh?#its less often though certainly. im happy about that#im just. arrgrhhghhgh i just need it to be a little less often than this#and not happen the day before my last exam. that. that one is quite rude im not gonna lie#man.. i wish it were easier to tell between the real hunger and the phantom starving because they keep mixing together and i cant tell
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