#im not going to beg you to stay when obv you don't want to be here!!!!

[gentlerainmorninghush]

coworker keeps talking about getting a different job & I'm so fuckin over it bro

[cookiesforsigma]

✧Fyodor Centered Headcanons // dating✧

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairing: Fyodor Dostoevsky x Gn!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Comfort

Warnings: none

W/c: 1.5k

A/n: I actually did this in one sitting my body hurts from staying still for so long ahhh also this is my first post and im not a good writer ok. i rly hope Fyodor isn't ooc here

--Fyodor dating headcanons--

1. General + fluff

— I think we all know he's not the most romantic/affectionate lover (though he's so attractive, in your eyes, he's a gentleman).

— Even after you start dating him, Fyodor will still be (cold?) formal to you. He somehow still manages to show his affection towards you in this manner.

— He's softer around you than he is around anybody.

— He prefers giving you attention when you're alone rather than in public.

— He's a bit obsessed with you. Fyodor is so used to getting what he wants, so he has slight yandere tendencies.

— To him, his lover is most precious.

— He lets you wear his ushanka (his hat) and his coat, and he secretly thinks you look adorable dressed like him. He'd never outright admit it, of course.

— Fyodor probably will not make the first move. By that I mean he won’t kiss you unless you kiss him, but that only applies before your first kiss. He does see you staring though.

— He sometimes teases you and acts mean on purpose just to get a reaction out of you. Fyodor thinks you look so cute when you're mad at him and hug a pillow instead of hugging him, but he can't stand being ignored. He'll apologize soon.

— He's extremely observant. He is always able to read you like an open book.

— And don't think he doesn't notice anything you do. Whether it's a small act of affection like brushing your knuckles against his 'by accident', smiling more or less than usual or fidgeting, he notices all of it. Not in a creepy way though.

— Speaking of, he loves small acts of affection. He's almost always holding your hand, he gives you small kisses, and he strokes your hair sometimes.

- - - ♡ - - -

Holding your hand;

— Gosh, he's almost always holding your hand. He especially loves when you intertwine your fingers. He isn't big on physical touch, so this is a great way for him to feel closer to you.

— Sometimes, if he doesn't feel like it, he won't let go of your hand as it is 'such a bother'. Even after your hands become sweaty, you'll have to beg him to let go. Because he won't. (not willingly)

— Fyodor doesn't do a lot of pinky holding. He wants to feel your palms against his. Plus, his hands are always cold because of his anemia, and holding hands properly is the best way to keep him warm (outside of cuddle sessions).

- - - ♡ - - -

Kisses;

— He adores soft kisses. He's also not much of a lip kisser. His favorite places to kiss you are your cheek and forehead (and your hand, on rare occasions).

— He sometimes has bursts of affection, mostly after a long day at work, but they are very small and they don't last very long. It'd hurt his ego if he showed his desperation for your love.

— These small bursts of affection are the moments he gives you kiss attacks.

— Passionate kisses only happen during makeout sessions, which, of course, happen later in the relationship. I'd say it's worth the wait, given that he's an incredibly good kisser and his passionate kisses are so passionate. (obv they are im so stupid.)

— Don't expect him to kiss you first though. Fyodor rarely ever makes the first move.

— But he does notice you staring at his lips, expecting him to kiss you.

— He has a habbit of biting his nails, so it's difficult not to stare.

— And his lips are extremely soft. And warm. Any wait you have to go through, it's worth it.

- - - ♡ - - -

Playing with your hair;

— If you have long hair, he absolutely loves it. It's classic of him to prefer long hair, don't you think?

— If you have short hair, that's fine too. Your hair length does not determine how much he loves you by any means. He just thinks your hair is such a delicate thing about you.

— If you have long hair though, you can expect him to stare. A lot.

— Fyodor loves seeing you with your hair untied, or seeing the different hairstyles you try, even if you just put your hair up lazily, he thinks any hairstyle looks good on you.

— He's not always touching your hair, but it makes him happy when you let him brush it, play with it, or try new hairstyles on you.

— He'll only brush your hair after a shower or if you ask him to, play with it when he feels like it, braid it when he thinks it'll get tangled. He doesn't play with your hair 24/7, as I said, but he's always more than happy to if you ask him.

- - - ♡ - - -

Sitting/laying your head on his lap and vice versa;

— Fyodor doesn't mind if you sit on his lap or lay your head on his thigh while he works. In fact, he actually likes it.

— He'd be a little surprised as he's very touch starved and he'll find it difficult to relax, but he will for your comfort.

— These are the moments he'll run his fingers through your hair and pat your head gently (and awkwardly). But you love the feeling of his hands, there's no way you could ever complain.

— Fyodor will also brush your hair out of your face and maybe kiss your hand, but after you fall asleep.

— He never gets enough rest, which is why you'll just go to sleep on his lap most of the time. But you still get chances to sleep with him.

— He'll let you sleep peacefully if it's a short afternoon nap, but at night he'll snuggle with you after he finishes his work.

— He's too cocky to lay his head on your lap. Again, it'd hurt his ego. So you'd have to ask him to do that.

— Making him sit on your lap is out of the question.

— If you manage to get him to lay his head on your thigh and you want him to do it again sometime, you need to stroke his hair and maybe bend down to give him a kiss.

— Oh God he's definitely doing this again.

— He doesn't like being put in 'vulnerable' positions, but he can't help it when your fingers massage that one spot on his head.

— After the first time he falls asleep on your lap, he won't even bother asking. He'll just sit you down somewhere and tell you he's sleepy, and then wait to be taken care of.

— Of course, this is the kind of thing Fyodor would only do in private, and he'd appreciate it if you didn't try to do this in front of anyone either.

- - - ♡ - - -

Spending time together;

— Fyodor's quite introverted, so he'd prefer an introverted s/o. Even if you're not introverted, as long as you're not loud, he's fine with it.

— The reason I'm mentioning this is because he wants the two of you to be able to enjoy each other's company in silence sometimes.

— He can play his cello for you while you work on something, he can play with your hair while you read a book, or you could cuddle and take a nap.

— Fyodor doesn't always feel the need to hold a conversation to enjoy your presence. He knows you're next to him, and that's enough for him.

- - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - -

2. Comfort

— Let's be honest now... He sucks at comforting people. (how am i going to write this..)

— He's never dealt with anyone crying before, let alone a person he cares about.

— The difference between a crying person and a crying person he cares about is that he's scared of hurting the feelings of the person he cares about. (makes sense? no.)

— Fyodor won't struggle to comfort you as long as you're not crying. He'll buy you food if you want, he'll play chess/card games with you, he'll play his cello for you, he'll give you his hat... He will just do this best to cheer you up.

— But he's aware that if you start crying, cheering you up is not the right solution. He's going to try to hold you and let you cry in his arms.

— He won't talk much. He really wouldn't know what to say in situations like these.

— There's a chance he'll complain about you getting his clothes wet...? I'm so sorry but it sounds like something he'd do. Not always though.

— He cares about you, but he doesn't feel the need to remind you, as it'd make him feel awkward and he knows you're aware of that already.

— Fyodor is still going to hold you for as long as you need.

— He'll ask you what the matter is, and he'll be fine with it if you don't want to answer. He'll probably make you a drink or try to cheer you up once you've stopped crying.

— He'll hold you some more if needed.

— If you do decide to tell him what's bothering you, he might think it's not worth crying over. Depends if it's an insecurity or someone's death.

— If it is an insecurity Fyodor will give you some praise and compliments, but again, 'it's a pathetic reason to cry'.

— He's not good at giving advice if that's what you need.

— But he'll listen and hold you, even if he doesn't openly admit he cares for you as much as he really does.

- - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - -

[punkscowardschampions]

Charlie & Ronnie

Charlie: Well well well Charlie: aren't you so smug Ronnie: 🖕 Charlie: Come on Charlie: if you aren't sharing you can at least share details Ronnie: hes not a homo Ronnie: turn him on your own time Charlie: none of 'em ever are, darling, you know the drill Charlie: not your usual type though, where'd you snatch him from? Ronnie: he stalked me but hes too pussy to try a kidnap Charlie: where were you Charlie: the library? Charlie: 🤔 Ronnie: yeah shooting up in the stacks Charlie: romantic Charlie: also you and every other junkie in this town, god bless a public space where you don't have to buy a shit cuppa to use the loos Charlie: but I won't be distracted Ronnie: guess again then gaylord Ronnie: reckon youll get close if you think librarian on a break Ronnie: frigid not slutty Charlie: why are you being such a tease? Charlie: not slutty or cool 😣 Ronnie: im not a tease just cause you miss my arse baby Charlie: hard to miss something that ain't never been there 💔 Charlie: there's no way he's a dealer or a tattoo 'artist' or any other degenerate you spend your days around Charlie: not got the look Ronnie: i told you hes a stalker Ronnie: facebooked me like a ma with a limp dicked hubby & 2 cunt kids Ronnie: cheers for all the content he found like Charlie: you and your several chins ain't that special though Charlie: no offense Charlie: where did he find you, why Charlie: WHY HAVEN'T YOU ASKED Ronnie: sort your head out soft lad Ronnie: why do you reckon Ronnie: think back to every bullshit baby dream you ever had Ronnie: 🏠👶🐶 Charlie: he's not old enough to be anyone's daddy Charlie: wait Charlie: oh no way Charlie: you're related to him Ronnie: got the same ma Charlie: fuck Charlie: that's huge Charlie: how old is he actually? Ronnie: 19 Ronnie: youngest of em is like 5 he said Charlie: there's more Charlie: Jesus Ronnie: brothers & a sister Charlie: obvs not your dad but just the one or what Charlie: what happened to her Ronnie: she met him the same year i was fucking born Ronnie: no time wasted Charlie: that's so messed up Charlie: I'm sorry Charlie: have whatever you're having on me rn Ronnie: give your sorrys to him Ronnie: proper headcase Ronnie: near west as i am Charlie: he's not actual stalker material is he Charlie: shit, if I'd have realised Ronnie: calm your tits fitz Ronnie: theres fuck all worth taking Ronnie: your virginitys long gone Charlie: not how he's gonna see it if he's actually looney Ronnie: if he wanted to murder me id be dead Ronnie: he had a clean shot when he got me from [that sketch location] Charlie: really Charlie: you'd rather risk getting raped and murdered than just tell me you were there again Ronnie: you say that like it aint my idea of a fun night Ronnie: whats a lil sexual & physical violence amongst potential family & friends yeah Charlie: be serious for a second please Ronnie: fuck you Charlie: what are you doing about this Charlie: what does he actually want Ronnie: hes a pussy with a deathwish Ronnie: dont know fuck all else about him Ronnie: didnt wanna know that Charlie: does your mum wanna see you? Ronnie: aint her looking Charlie: surely she asked him to Charlie: not the kinda thing you do off your own back Charlie: least she told them about you, clearly, loads don't, ever Ronnie: probably shitting herself id come knocking at 18 Charlie: aren't you gonna then Charlie: go knocking Ronnie: why the fuck would i Charlie: ain't the only one with unfulfilled childhood dreams Charlie: 🤬👊😡🖕 Ronnie: i can use him as a punching bag without having to catch a flight Charlie: he's not who your issue is really with though Charlie: biggest issue, anyway Ronnie: turn the daytime telly off like Ronnie: fucking hell Charlie: I'm job-hunting with my days tah very much Charlie: bullshit you've got nothing worth saying to her Ronnie: binging bargain hunt aint gonna do shit for your cv Ronnie: & hes happy to pass on the fuck yous Charlie: I'm not binging anymore, babe Charlie: and why, what happened to him? Ronnie: dont take marple to work out without a gag reflex for the purge youre gonna be a fat cunt Ronnie: ask him yourself if youre dead arsed Ronnie: having a ma can fuck you up like not having one who knew like Charlie: and I'm the one that needs a job Charlie: 📺💕 Charlie: how are you not at all curious Charlie: get some imagination PLEASE Ronnie: shut up Charlie: So what Charlie: your BROTHER Charlie: with plural other brothers and a sister are gonna show up and you're not gonna do anything about it Charlie: just keep doing what you're doing like it never happened Ronnie: hes my half brother Ronnie: & the others aint gonna do fuck all Ronnie: hes not gonna organise a family reunion Charlie: you get to call the shots Charlie: you're the bastard orphan Ronnie: yeah i do Ronnie: cause i gave him a shot Charlie: excuse me Ronnie: hes in the club now baby Ronnie: & he aint gonna want mommy dearest finding out Charlie: what kind of fucked up genetics do you have Ronnie: you read the file Charlie: yeah Charlie: seeing it in action is something else Ronnie: stop crying he was never gonna fuck you Charlie: piss off Ronnie: suck a dick & get over his Charlie: yeah you read my file Charlie: long time ago Ronnie: yeah Charlie: things change Ronnie: if you want your boner back he studies music Charlie: don't pimp your brother out Ronnie: you saw the bitch he was with Ronnie: he needs us Charlie: does he though Ronnie: shut the fuck up Charlie: I can't believe you dosed him Ronnie: it wasnt like i crept up behind him for fucks sake Charlie: you clearly want him to stick around Ronnie: shut the fuck up charles Ronnie: he begged & he paid Charlie: so you're gonna let him get a taste and leave him high and dry Charlie: we'll see how that works out yeah Ronnie: im not his ma Ronnie: even if he reckons i look like her Ronnie: no cunt nursed me through it Charlie: yeah? Charlie: whoever you are, I ain't dealing when he shows up at the door Ronnie: no fixed address baby Ronnie: thats how it stays Charlie: you leave a pretty big trail in your wake Charlie: incognito you ain't Ronnie: you know where the fucking door is Charlie: my fucking door Charlie: I'm aware Ronnie: you coming out or what bitch Charlie: depends Ronnie: say on what then Charlie: where you are, where you're going Charlie: if your brother is nodding out in the corner Ronnie: [location for where she is] where the fuck do you wanna go dorothy Charlie: the fuck outta Kansas Charlie: all this brother lovin got me feeling queasy Ronnie: so move your arse Ronnie: me & you old school Charlie: how old school you tryna be 😏 Ronnie: how you want it Ronnie: nothings changed Ronnie: fuck that Charlie: 'course Charlie: be there now bitch Ronnie: good boy