#im on like week 5 of overthinking this and need to just pull the trigger | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ts-hvv4 · 4 years

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EPISODE ELEVEN: “MAYBE IM PARANOID OR MAYBE IM ABOUT TO GET CLAPPED” - LUKAS

This game is genuinely getting to me. With all the world going mad and panic’d, my schedule and thoughts has been all over the place. I’ve come to realize that a lot of the people in the game require actual effort to talk to because in games, you kind of have to be ON all the time in order to get your point across, be nice, or to avoid slipping up. But it’s getting overrated for me. I’m an introvert and at the moment, talking to these people requires too much of my energy when all I really want to do is cuddle with my boyfriend or hang out with friends I may never see again because they might leave my college campus at any moment. Since my college is completely virtual for the rest of the semester, I may graduate before saying goodbye to some people I truly care about. It’s all very surreal and depressing. I no longer really care to hear about what Sharifa’s doing when I know she’s just plotting stuff with other people while I’m talking to her. Why waste my breath? I could just sit and do nothing and not worry about this considering I’m not getting anything real out of it. I’ve had fun for a bit but now it’s overwhelming. One of my biggest outlets just left the game because there’s some people who are too content with just allowing a CLEAR trio of people with 2 idols stay in the game unchallenged. Yet, I can’t even do anything about it myself. I don’t have the numbers and I already fucked up by trying to make amends with Jake in the first place. Which is what gave that trio another idol. Oops. The worst part about it is that I’ve genuinely tried to be a good ally to those who I’ve felt have been good allies to me. I was fully on board to take out Sharifa and fucked my own game to tell Lukas the truth. Now, any time I talk to him, I feel like I’m talking to someone completely different. Like talking to a person who could go crazy at any point. The week after, I tried SHEEPING an alliance that I knew had too much power but wasn’t going to do anything about because I figured I needed their safety. But while I was doing that, they decided to fuck me over last second and try to completely vote me out. Why? Cause they were paranoid because I was being loyal. This week, I considered taking out Kurt but realized it wouldn’t happen. Yet, since the damage has been done by everyone already, why wouldn’t they take out my closest ally? Why give a fuck about me when they can just do whatever they want anyways? No reason to. They can just do and say whatever and have fun doing it. Now, I get to decide if this challenge is worth me trying to win or not. If I win, they can target someone else. Someone they all just talked about votes with. If I lose, they can vote me and I don’t have to deal with their bs anymore. It’s kind of a win-win not gonna lie. But if I win the challenge and STILL nothing happens, I’m just gonna be straight up annoyed. I’ll be frustrated and care even less about what happens which is wild considering all that I just wrote. But realistically, the vote would probably just go to Sarah or Ned anyways. Take out an inac or someone who might have an idol/power. Compared to the wild card Lukas who is following them or the overly nice person they shit on all the time (in Malik). So meh. We’ll see how much time I want to waste tomorrow but rn I’m not feeling it that much.

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I won immunity holy FUCK. 940583 people tied, again, but I won the tie breaker, again. Lukas is going around calling me a comp threat sldkfjs SIS I WON A STAY UP ALL NIGHT CHALLENGE, A “HEY WHAT’S YOUR COLOR” CHALLENGE, A GUESS A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 4 CHALLENGE, AND A FILM A VIDEO OF YOU EATING WHILE YOU TALK CHALLENGE LKAJDSFLKSJDLFKJ ITS NOT THAT DEEP!!! Stephanie voice: You want to call me a threat? I’ll show you how threatening I am. I’ve been cooking up a lil plan for tribal and the best part about it, no one knows I’m at the center of it. Operation backstab Jake is commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2…. Everyone is scared about Jake, Kurt and I being a trio and they want to split us up. Why is everyone scared you ask? Because Jake fucked us over by spilling our tea to Nicklas and not disclosing that relationship to us. It’s just funny because I remember how mad Jake got at me, when I let him know I was pissed. Jake spilling the alliance to Nicklas and telling him I was going after Sarah, is the whole ENTIRE reason why I almost went home at top 11. It’s the whole ass reason why Nicklas had enough information to expose me. It has been a wrench in my plans since the merge. What Nicklas wasn’t prepared for is the fact that I can adapt to whatever situation that is thrown at me, and I’ve been able to shift gears, adjust, and keep on driving down the highway. Part of that adjusting though is getting rid of the target on my back from this trio. Winning this immunity was high key crucial. By me being immune, and Kurt having the social game he has, the only member of the Gross Sisters that people can get the votes on is Jake. The smartest thing for the The Butterflies to do was to plant the seeds and reap the harvest. Just nudge nudge Malik/Lukas/Sarah to something they already want to do, just don’t realize they would have the votes for. Oh just in case if I haven’t updated, The Butterflies consists of Ned, Kurt and myself, named because when I told Ned to be smooth with his game play, he responded “I’ll be as smooth as a butterfly” FLSKDJ got to love the straights <3. Ned and Kurt have a tendency to overthink, they’re really nervous about the execution of the move, and I am to. Because Jake has an idol, and he has enough info to blow up all our games. Voting him out is like trying to deactivate a bomb. One cut of the wrong wire and BOOOOOOOM, we’re dead. Because of that we have to make sure that this doesn't get back to Nicklas. To help stall, I’m telling literally everyone I can get my hands on that I want to vote Nicklas out. That bridge is already burned so might as well keep lighting it on fire hehe. If the destraction vote is Nicklas, than that can hopefully justify my shady behavior to Nicklas and Jake. Hell, maybe Jake would play the idol on Nicklas, which would be beautiful. The thing I’m most worried about is Malik or Lukas approaching Nicklas with the plan to vote out Jake. If they do it’s imperative I organize a split vote. 4 votes on Jake, 2 votes on Nicklas, and 2 votes on Sarah. It will suck because Jake will be left in the game with ample time to expose Ned, Kurt and I, but at least Nicklas will be gone and Jake will have lost some power. Malik and Lukas are already plotting, thinking this is their idea, and Sarah approached me acting like she talked about it with Malik and not Lukas. IM TELLING YALL SARAH AND LUKAS ARE TIGHT AKLSDJF THEY CAN TRY TO HIDE IT FROM ME BUT IM THE QUEEN OF SECRET ALLIANCES. So Sarah brought up voting out Jake and I acted all morally conflicted, said I needed the night to think about it. Sarah can be really flighty so I need her to think she’s in the driver seat. I feel awful. I'm promising an end game and everything, I even made a final 3 with her and Ned, but I need to do what I need to do, to get The Butterflies to the end. Plus I think she’s high key playing me because her and Lukas are def something. I made a deal if we did Jake this time, she HAS to use her vote steal to get out Nicklas right after. I’m pretty sure this is going to be a double tribal, and that’s when I’ve been planning to take Jake and Nicklas out in one fell swoop. This plan is so fragile, and can literally blow up at any second, but if I don’t make this move, I know Jake will not let me touch final 3. My game has always been taking people out, before they could take me out, and that’s just what I have to try to do. If this move does work, final 7 is going to be tricky tricky, if Ned, Kurt and I can make it past it, we’re almost home free, but everyone is going to want to take a shot at me if I lose immunity. Kurt and I have talked about him being the one to pull the trigger. He’s going to go around saying it’s time to take a shot at me, and we’ll see who goes with it, and who won’t. The idea is forcing Sarah into using her steal a vote to help me get out Nicklas. If it is a double tribal, everything is going to happen fast, I just need to make sure I keep myself grounded and calm. I know this jury is bitter as fuck at me right now. And as my body count gets higher and higher, so does the salt level. But even though it seems impossible, I am WINNING this game I swear to God. I have fought tooth and nail, I’ve run this season, and I will take my rightful place on the throne, with my third crown.

So this vote will go one of two ways: 1) Jake or Sarah go home, which are both fine by me. I would die for Jake to be taken out since he’s so distant towards me, but if Sarah goes due to some shifty shit I’m fine with it. Kurt and I have been working soooo hard on getting the votes on Jake, and we think we have Malik and Ned and maybe even Sarah. But Sharifa is still on her warpath towards Nicklas and Jake wants Sarah, so who knows. 2) Either Kurt or I go home. People have been eerily quiet around me and I know that in this season, that’s a bad omen (as Matt and Dennis have proven). So maybe I’m paranoid, or maybe I’m about to get clapped. All I know is that if I survive this round and a potential live round tonight, this game will be more in my hands than it ever has been.

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