#im proposing my hand slipped and i bought him a ring and i am proposing

[folkreid]

champagne problems

WARNINGS❗️: mentions of spencer's drug addiction.

TYPE: angst with fluff ending.

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

SONG: champagne problems- Taylor Swift

FLASHBACK

"I think i'm ready" Spencer whispered to himself. Today was the day. He was proposing to the love of his life. He looks into the mirror, finishing the last touches to his outfit which was mainly just a simple blue tie to top off his white collard shirt.

He drives to her house. He was as nervous as he was the first time they went on a date. Their first date was a cute little picnic on a cliff. Y/n had told Spencer prior she was terrified of heights. He took her to the cliff. "You're always safe with me. I'll keep you safe from all your fears" he told Y/n while she was on the edge of the cliff not so scared anymore. She felt more safe with Spencer.

Y/n and Spencer where the perfect couple. They hardly fought. They were each other's comfort, they needed each other and that's all. Y/n always tells Spencer that he's her source of happiness. He's her world. He's her light. Spencer feels the same way. Y/n was very affectionate which took Spencer some getting used to. Eventually he was physically affectionate with her. Really affectionate.

Spencer knocks on Y/n's door after a while. Ten minutes of deciding if he should go through with it or not. He almost ran away from the nerves. "Man up" he told himself. He remembered what his friends Morgan and Hotch told him.

Y/n opens the door wearing a beautiful peach dress. Spencer bought it for her because he accidentally spilled coffee on her favorite dress. She topped it off with her sparkly gray heals. "Hi babe" Y/n softly smiles. "H-hi" Spencer responds in awe of her. He's more focused on Y/n then what he's saying. Usually he'll greet her with "Hi love" or "Hey sweetheart". Y/n noticed Spencer's nervousness, she didn't think much of it. Spencer often got nervous around her. He once told her "I don't think the feeling from the first time I saw you will ever go away". Y/n adored Spencer. He was her heart and soul.

"Y-you look beautiful" he stuttered in amaze of his girlfriend, hopefully soon to be fiancé. Y/n laughed a little. The sight of her boyfriend standing there awkwardly was slightly amusing. "Thank you Spencer you look handsome as well" Y/n gives a small kiss to Spencer. She follows him into the street. Spencer opens the door for her and allows her to climb in. They start driving, Y/n eventually noticed where they were at. Her eyes lit up. Her heart pounding. The cliff from their first date.

"Spence" she whispered. The boy looked over to her. "Yeah?" he replied softly. Y/n looked him in the eyes and felt how much he loved her. She smiled to herself, she smiled about the thought of Spencer. She didn't even have to say anything she just wanted to make sure this was all real. It was.

He parked on the cliff. Y/n gets out the car going over to Spencer who was at the back of the car getting stuff from the trunk. Y/n notices the picnic supplies and her heart melts. "Are we having a picnic like our first date" she excitedly squeals. Spencer nodded staring at her. She jumps, wrapping her arms around Spencer's lanky frame. "I love you, I love you, I love you" she squeezes him tightly. "I love you more" Spencer kisses her forehead admiring the way she got excited over something as simple as a picnic.

"She deserves the world" Spencer thinks to himself. They go to the edge of the cliff like their first date. Spencer lies down a blanket with some fruit and champagne. Y/n sits down on her knees staring at Spencer. "Im really happy" Y/n randomly says staring at the boy who was pouring some champagne into her cup. "So am I" he looks up with almost husky look in his eyes. Y/n took a sip of her champagne before standing up. "Come here" she motions to Spencer. Spencer stands up and walks over to her. Y/n quickly puts on her favorite song.

The song was about being in love and how it was such a beautiful rare thing. Y/n put her head to Spencer's chest wrapping her arms around his torso. "Dance with me" Y/n whispers to Spencer in a calm voice. "I don't know how to dance" Spencer replied with a hint of embarrassment and disappointment in his voice. "Neither do I" Y/n laughs. He grabs her hand and starts moving his feet. They were tripping over each other but they didn't care. They laughed and continued. Spencer turned Y/n so that her back was to his chest. They looked out into the abyss of the night.

Spencer planted small kisses on Y/n's neck. She absorbs the feeling. This is all she's ever wanted. Spencer reaches into his pocket and pulls out the small velvet box. Y/n turns around with widen eyes watching Spencer kneel on the floor. "Y/n Y/l/n you have been my best friend for the past five years. We've been dating for the past two. These two years that i've gotten to call you mine have been amazing. I want to make you mine forever. Your eyes are the light of my life. Your smile warms my soul. I'll never get over the feeling you give me Y/n. Will you marry me?"

Y/n is in shock. She hesitates before saying anything. "Spencer I- I can't" her lip shivers. "W-what" Spencer cries. "I'm sorry we're too y-young i'm not ready for that kind of commitment" she says before running away into the night. "Y/n come back" Spencer cries feeling his heart break. Y/n runs off to a local gas station. She calls an uber and she heads back home. "Y/n" Spencer sobs lying on the grass. He finally collects himself and packs all the things back into his car.

At his apartment Spencer sluggishly walks in and flops on the bed. He picks up his phone and dials Y/n's number. "Hey it's Y/n, if i'm not answering now i'll probably never answer don't call back" he heard her voicemail. He sobbed into the phone. "Y/n please come back"  he begged. "Please, please, please" he desperately calls out. He hangs up and cries himself to sleep.

Y/n on the other hand was having a panic attack. "Did I make the right decision" "I'm a terrible person how can I hurt him" "He hates me now". All these thoughts running through her mind. She felt like she could hardly breathe. She climbed into her uber. "Hon are you okay" the older lady asked looking in the mirror. "I- I don't know" Y/n replied trying to steady her breathing.

"I'll put some calming music if you need something tell me" she smiled to Y/n. "T-thank you" Y/n tried to relax. After a while she finally relaxed but she was still unsure of her decision. "Can I ask for some advice" Y/n speaks up. "Of course honey" the lady responded with support. "My boyfriend proposed to me. We've been together for the past two years but I feel like we're to young. I'm not ready for that type of commitment. I have a life to live." Y/n rants.

"You see how you said 'I have a life to live.'?" she started. Y/n nods waiting for her continuation. "Think to yourself. Is it a life you want to live with him?" Y/n notices she's at her apartment. "I guess i'll have to think about that. Thank you" she responds before jumping out of the car.

END OF FLASHBACK

Spencer sobbed into his pillow for the third time today. It was only twelve AM. He's asked for time off of work because of how broken he felt. Spencer never took time off. He loves work but the pain was to much to handle. He was worried for himself. Worried he would do something he promised himself he wouldn't.

Spencer walks over to his drawer. He frantically looks for anything that belonged to his beloved Y/n. "Please" he begged the universe. As if the universe was listening he finally found one of Y/n's old shirts. He lies his head on his pillow closing his eyes, tears shedding from them. "I miss you" he sobbed into her shirt.

He inhaled Y/n's smell. "Please come back" he cries some more. Spencers mind is racing. All these thoughts going through his head. He doesn't want to feel. So what does he think of?. Dilaudid. He kept one of his bottles and syringes. He didn't know why. He was ashamed of it. But he craved it so bad.

He quickly climbed out of bed, lying on the floor grabbing the small box he hid under his bed and got the key to it. He opened it to see the small bottle and syringe. He picks up the syringe and almost flinches at the sight of it. "Don't do this" Spencer thinks to himself. "I- I need her, if I can't have her I can have this" he picked up the small bottle. Right there and then he knew it would go to far if he didn't stop now. He got his phone and dialed Y/n's number.

After one ring Y/n answers. She hasn't been answering his calls at all. "Y/n" he sobbed. Y/n could hear the pain in his voice. She couldn't handle it, she immediately sobbed. "P-Please I need you. I need you now Y/n I- I have... I have Dilaudid. I'm craving please just come" he desperately sobbed into the phone. Y/n was very upset about the fact he had some in the first place but it wasn't the time for a lecture. "I'm on my way don't do anything stupid"

Y/n barged into his room. "Baby?" she looks at him crying on the floor. She goes down to him. "Baby" tears fall out of her eyes at the sight of Spencer. "Y/n" he cries into her arms. She brings him back up on the bed and lies him down. "I've missed you" he cries. "Without you all the bad feelings came back" Spencer sobs into Y/n's shirt wetting it. "It's okay baby i'm here now, let's get you in the shower okay?" he nodded getting up and following Y/n into the restroom.

Y/n starts the running warm water in the bath. She gets the bottle of bubble bath and poured it in. I mix it around watching bubbles sudd up. Spencer was sitting on the toilet seat waiting for Y/n's approval to start getting undressed. Y/n walked over to Spencer and starts unbuttoning his shirt. He slips it off his arms and takes off his belt, pants, and boxers. "Get in" you tell him. He climbs in slowly letting the water warm him.

"Can you get in with me?" he asks. You shake your head up and down and remove your clothing. You get in slowly and lie your head on his chest. "Can I wash your hair?" you ask. He nods and you get on your knees and put them on the outside of his legs. you grab the shampoo and open up the cap, pouring some onto your hands. You lean in to scrub his scalp, it looked like he hadn't showered in a while. Spencer placed a kiss on one of your boobs. "Spencer i'm trying to wash your hair" you tell him. "Well they were in my face what was I supposed to do" he teases.

You grab a cup that was on the side of the tub and fill it with water. You place your hand on Spencers forehead, making sure the water wouldn't get into his eyes. You pour the water into his hair and take out all the soapy shampoo. All he does is stare up at you and look at your boobs, occasionally touching them. You grab conditioner, pouring some into his hair letting it sit for a bit. You then rinse it out.

"Wash your body" you throw his washcloth at him. He grabs the soap and washes himself. "Can I wash your hair now" he asked. You nod and he repeats the same actions to you as you did to him.

You guys both get out, he puts on some sweatpants and a white shirt. He throws me his CalTech hoodie that smelled just like him. He was very proud of all his accomplishments, he wore his CalTech hoodie often which you love.

The two of you lie in bed together. You wrap your hands around his torso and stroke his hair. "How are the cravings" you softly ask, yes it was a sensitive subject to Spencer but it was one to you also. You never did drugs but the only reason was because you saw what it did to your parents.

"They're gone now. You make all the bad feelings go away" he admits. "Good. I'm not leaving."

He looks up with tears in his eyes. "You arent?"

"No i'm not" I kiss his forehead. "But we have to talk about it"

He sits up. "Why'd you have dilaudid, Spencer?"

"I saved some I don't know why. I'm sorry"

"Do you have anymore?" he shakes his head no. You grab the bottle and syringe that was on his desk. You walk over to his window. "Goodbye Spencer's demons" you throw both items out of the window watching it fall down to the floor. Spencer comes to stand next to you kissing the top of your head. You turn around to him.

"Now about this proposal stuff" you start. He shifts his stance getting uncomfortable. "I'm sorry Spencer. I was scared because we are young you know? But I realized that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So if you'll still have me"

"Y/n will you marry me" he cuts you off. You nod your head frantically. "I love you so much" he planted kisses all over your face. "I love you more"

"Promise me we don't have to rush into getting married" you asked still slightly scared. "Of course my love"

[lenniewip]

Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)

11.09 PM Unknown Number

>I’m writing songs about you again.

11.20 PM Unknown Number

>its stiles btw.

>in case you deleted my number

>I did.

>I mean I deleted yours.

>but I still remember it apparently

11:41 PM Unknown Number

>I only have 2 lines so far

11:57 PM Unknown Number

>I bleed you from my veins.

>I grieve you like I love you.

>alone.

>its better with the chords.

>u were always better at writing lyrics than me

12:34 AM Unknown Number

>u were better everything than me

2:00 AM Unknown Number

>I hate that I miss you

2:07 AM Unknown Number

>do u want to hook up?

>I promise not to propose again

2:15 AM Unknown Number

>im sorry.

>ignore me.

>im drinking

Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.

What the hell is a Stiles?

2:17 AM Unknown Number

<I think you have the wrong number

>Lydia?

<no

>oh thank fuck

>I mean

>I’m sorry

>for disturbing ur sleep

>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this

>bullet dodged right?

>is this what near death experiences feel like?

<I wouldn’t know.

>of course

>hey

>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?

>all my friends are asleep

<probably because its 3am

<everyone’s asleep

>2.39

>and ur not

>asleep that is

>so?

>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead

>what do you think?

>of the lyrics

<im the wrong person to ask

>never experienced heartbreak?

<no

<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me

>oh

>yeah I guess it does

>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?

<do you want to be rupi kaur?

>sure

>not to be dramatic or anything

>but

>I want to be anyone but me

>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho

<regina spektor?

>singer/song writer

>shes my fucking inspiration

>her lyrics are like poetry to me

>you should listen to her music

<I dont really listen to music

>what the fuck?

>are you an alien?

<no?

>nice fucking try ET

>thats exactly what an alien would say

<…you got me there

>akdjfen

>is this you admitting I was right?

<no

<but this is me going to bed

<because its now 4AM

>already?

>fuck

>ive got an early start tomorrow

>good night random stranger

>and thanks

>for listening

>or reading ig

<good night

//

“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.

“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.

Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Derek hated the look she gave him then.

The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.

“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.

“No.”

An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.

Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.

But this was enough.

It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.

//

2:40 PM Laura

>I’m here if you need to talk.

//

Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.

So instead he doodles.

Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.

Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.

But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.

//

10:18 PM Unknown Number

>I don’t remember it anymore

<You have the wrong number again

>No

>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?

<right

>So here’s the thing.

>I always thought if I needed to text her I could

>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk

>But I can’t remember it anymore

<Oh.

>I have some of her things still

>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now

>Unless she messages me first

<When did you two break up?

>Last year

>and I know what you’re thinking

>’it’s October’

>and I should be over her by now

>Trust me I know

>So you don’t need to lecture me

<I wasn’t going to

>Oh

<Stiles?

>That’s weird

<what is?

>I forgot I told you my name

<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.

>you’re right

>I don’t like it.

>but you’re right

>…thanks

<What for?

>for listening

>reading**

>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain

>so this is nice

<sure

<anytime

>dope

>no take backsies

<am I going to regret this?

>for definite

>you’re stuck with me now

//

That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.

//

Stiles keeps messaging after that.

Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.

Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.

He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.

//

Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.

He’s not above admitting he’s scared.

//

Derek draws Stiles sometimes.

More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.

Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.

The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.

//

They don’t always talk about Lydia.

Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.

Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.

Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.

Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.

And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.

//

2:02 AM Bad Poet

>sometimes I feel like too much

>and too little

>at the same time

>u ever feel like that ET?

<not really

>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless

>like a never ending echo

>or a recurring decimal

>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it

>I have no depth

<youre not meaningless

<you’re a rhythm.

<like breathing

>…

>was that a regina spektor reference?

<it might have been

>I thought you didn’t listen to music?

<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry

<so I thought I would check out a few songs

>well fuck

>what did you think?

<she’s good

>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong

<I still prefer poetry

>of course you do

Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.

Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.

//

10:30AM Bad Poet

<my sister bought me flower seeds

>I didn’t know you had a sister?

<she’s everything I have

>oh

<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow

>…with flower seeds?

<yes

>you sound extremely paranoid

>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?

<shut up

>noted.

>keep me posted on how your gardening goes

>also

>as a side note

>you know you have me too right?

>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you

<thanks

>anytime

//

On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.

She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.

Once their family had been so alive.

And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.

They both knew it.

Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.

He was too scared to ask.

//

That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.

And then several more followed.

//

1:14 AM Bad Poet

<seh haars me

>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again

>try spell checking before hitting send

<she.hates mee

>who?

<larn

>are you drunk?

<yeh

<tyongs ndrf

*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*

The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.

“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”

“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”

“Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“My sister.”

“Oh.”

“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”

“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”

“She should. I can’t be fixed.”

“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”

Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.

“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”

Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.

“What?”

“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”

“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”

Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”

“Th-thanks.”

Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.

Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.

“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”

“Yeah.” Derek agrees.

“Goodnight bud.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.

I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.

“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.

“Stiles?”

Stiles hummed in answer.

“Your shape is beautiful too.”

A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”

//

7:50 AM Bad Poet

>how are you feeling today?

<better

>good <3

Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.

He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.

But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.

Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.

But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.

//

Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.

//

9:48 PM Bad Poet

>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?

>don’t feel like you need to say yes

>I just enjoyed talking to you

>and hearing your voice

>ugh.

>why are words so hard?

<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call

*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*

“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.

Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”

“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.

“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”

“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.

“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”

Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.

And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.

//

Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.

//

The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.

The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.

6:42 AM Bad Poet

>you need to talk to your sister

And Derek knows he’s right.

//

It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.

But he forces himself to take the dive.

“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.

Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”

“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.

If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…

There never would have been a fire.

Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”

The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.

He found himself crying to.

“I’m so sorry, Der.”

Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.

They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.

//

He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.

He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.

“Hello?”

“No - Derek’s asleep.”

“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”

“Who is this?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“Right.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Derek let sleep over take him once more.

//

2:29 AM Bad Poet

>sorry for calling so late

>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow

//

9:07 AM Bad Poet

<sorry, I was really tried

>no worries man

>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me

<was something wrong?

>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten

>im fine

>how are you?

<im good actually

<I spoke to Laura

>yeah?

>I’m proud of you

>how’d that go?

<we both cried

<a lot

<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch

>look at you, opening up and shit.

>think I might cry now

<shut up

>literally never

>better men have tried and failed to silence me

//

2:40 PM Laura

>Want to see a movie on Friday?

<sure

//

One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.

“Duhreek.”

“Doreck.”

“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.

“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.

Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.

“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.

He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.

“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”

//

Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.

//

He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.

He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.

He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.

He wants.

//

1:58 AM Bad Poet

>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?

>maybe not intentionally

>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know

>maybe we already have

Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.

<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?

<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you

>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)

<I think id still know

<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?

<of me

>dkfajd

>for reals?

>you would do that?

>you?

<well…not for free

>there’s always a catch

>what do you want?

>my soul?

>a blood debt?

>you can have whatever it is

<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too

<geez stiles

The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.

>I could do that

>a photo for a photo

>I kind of look like shit rn

>so no judging me

Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.

And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.

But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.

He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.

As he pressed send another photo came in.

Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.

His heart stopped.

Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.

But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.

>Fucking hell

>are you for real?

>you gave me a heart attack

>am I being catfished right now?

>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?

>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?

>Derek

>oh my god

>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit

>still there?

>did my selfie scare you away?

>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis

>Derek?

<still here

>of thank fuck

>so…

<so?

>come on

>your going to give me a complex

>the selfie…was it okay?

>I know it’s not much

>but we can’t all be greek gods

<its beautiful

<you’re beautiful, stiles

>oh

>thanks

//

Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.

//

9:49 AM Bad Poet

<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend

<this is all your fault

>how is this my fault?

<because she never wanted to introduce us before

<and then you got me to talk to my sister

<and now she wants me to meet him

>…and this is a bad thing?

<yes

>because?

<I don’t make good first impressions

<it’s going to be awkward

>yeah probably

<you’re not helpful

>I wasn’t trying to be ;)

>have fun, Derek!

//

Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.

Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.

But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.

Maybe not all change was bad.

//

Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.

“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”

“I know.”

God did Derek ever know.

But Stiles is different.

“Just…be careful.”

“I am being. I promise.”

Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”

“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”

“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.

//

Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.

‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.

A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.

//

It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.

She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.

“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.

“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.

“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.

It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.

Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”

Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.

No.

She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…

“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”

“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.

“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”

Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.

“It’s him.” He manages to get out.

“What are you talking about?”

“Laura. It’s him.”

It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.

“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”

“What?”

“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”

And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…

The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.

And it all falls apart.

//

It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.

11:08 PM Bad Poet

<you’re stiles stilinki

>fuck

(And yeah, it was really him).

>how did you find out?

<Laura

>I was going to tell you

<Were you?

>Yes

>I’ve wanted to for ages

>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up

<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner

>Me too

>I’m sorry

>Please don’t hate me

Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.

<I don’t

>Thank fuck

>seriously

>can I call you?

<sure

Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.

“Hey.”

“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.

“I believe you, Stiles.”

“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.

“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.

“What?”

“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”

“Stiles…”

“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”

Derek feels his heart break in two.

“Stiles…I can’t.”

“Oh.”

He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.

“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”

I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.

There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.

It was better for him to just… fall out of love.

//

6:17AM Laura

<it’s really him

>are you sure

<I’m sure

>what are you going to do?

<nothing

>Derek you’re in love with him

<I’m aware

<it doesn’t matter

<it wouldn’t ever work

>I’m sorry

<don’t be

<I’m going to be fine

>Im coming over with wine

//

That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.

When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.

//

He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.

Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.

He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

//

He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.

It’s still not enough.

//

1:11 PM Bad Poet

>I wrote you a song

>I know you don’t listen to music

>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link

>bad poetry at 2:00am

The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.

“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”

The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.

When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.

He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.

//

3:00 PM Laura

>have you seen the video?

<he sent me a link

<he wrote a song for me Laura

<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me

>fuck

<what do I do?

>what do you want to do?

<I don’t know

>I think you should look at his twitter

<?

>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him

>but I think you need to see it

>@stilesstilinki

//

@stilesstilinski

I want to hug him

@stilesstilinski

Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything

@stilesstilinski

Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.

@stilesstilinski

He makes me want to write poetry

Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.

He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.

And Derek falls impossibly more in love.

He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.

And everything else?

It’s worth it.

Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.

//

2:00 AM Bad Poet

<so I looked at your twitter

>fuck.

>how much did you see?

<all of it

>tight

>please excuse me while I go die now

>bye

<don’t leave yet

<I had something I wanted to ask you

>did you want me to delete the tweets?

>I can do that

>I’ll just delete the whole account

>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem

>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy

>but I’m a close second

<stiles?

>yup?

<Will you go on a date with me?

>alkdjf

>yes?

>Ofc yes?

>are you being serious?

>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious

<I’m serious

>yes.

>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

>holy shit

>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you

>im so fucking in love with you

>is it too soon to say that?

>I don’t even care

>I’m speaking my truth

>you obviously don’t have to say it back

>im going to woo you so hard Derek

>you’ll have to love me back eventually

>I’m going to write you poetry

>hell I’ll even read poetry for you

>ill give the whole fucking moon to you

<why would I want the moon?

<im not gru?

>despicable me

>that was a despicable me reference.

>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?

>you’re such an enigma to me Derek

>god I love you so much

<stiles?

>too much?

<no

<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you

<I love you too stiles

<so much

<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up

<I might not be able to live up to it in real life

>impossible

<seriously stiles

>I am being serious

>I’m already in love with you Der

>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done

>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all

>and I would still be in love with you

>all you have to do now is show up

<…I can do that

>perfect

//

TWO YEARS LATER

@stilesstilinski

Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.

[amelialincoln]

Really been loving your fics, we needed more Amelink writers! Thought I'd ask for one if that's alright? So I'd love to see Link proposing to Amelia in a really rushed and imperfect way after he spent the week talking to people like Meredith, Jo, Owen, Webber, etc about hiw they got engaged. He tries to plan something perfect but messes it up somehow and Amelia obviously just laughs and says yes, idk I just wanna see stressed Link, hope this is enough to go off :)

We Find Love

“How did Derek propose?” Link found himself blurting out. Meredith peered over at him. He could see the confusion in her face, despite the surgical mask covering most of it.

“Are you thinking of proposing?” She asked turning back to her sutures.

“Maybe...yes. I think so,” he waved his instrument filled hands awkwardly, obviously flustered.

“Derek proposed in an elevator,” she put simply.

“Why an elevator?” Link asked.

Meredith shrugged. “It was just kind of a special place for us,” he tell she was smiling from her eyes. “It seems so silly now but honestly I was so in love with him that he could’ve done anything. It was perfect.”

“I know me and Amelia haven’t been together for that long, just with the baby on its way...not that that’s a reason. I just—”

“You don’t need to justify yourself,” Meredith interrupted. “When you know, you know.”

“Exactly,” Hayes’ chimed in. Link looked up to the peds surgeon, who he wasn’t aware was following the conversation.

Link placed his lab coat and scrubs in his locker before turning to leave the attending’s lounge.

“Hey,” Owen greeted him as he entered the room.

“Hi,” Link responded.

“You waiting for Amelia?” He asked as he went to open his own locker. Link nodded. “I just saw her get pulled into a surgery. Might be awhile.”

“Oh,” Link responded, as if on cue his phone buzzed with a message from her. “Great.”

Owen chuckled. “The life of two surgeons in a relationship.”

“Hey, how did you propose?” He asked. Owen raised his eyebrows, not expecting the question.

“Uh, which time?” He answered awkwardly. Link shrugged, hoping he hadn’t hit a sensitive spot. “Well my first proposal I just proposed to Cristina on the couch in our living room. It just seemed right and she wasn’t really into the romantic stuff,” he chuckled as if recalling an old memory. “Uh, with Amelia, well she actually proposed to me.” Link shifted uncomfortably in his seat, not aware of this story. “We’d both had past relationships and didn’t really want anything big. With Teddy, it was an on call room. I guess I’m not really the romantic type.” He shrugged. Link recalled Amelia’s story about their honeymoon troubles and believed it. “Are you thinking of proposing?”

“I guess so.” Link grinned.

“Well you’ll be the forth guy to propose to her.” Link tried to hide his surprise. “Weren’t aware of that one? She’s a handle that’s for sure and definitely a runner. That’s why she came to Seattle in the first place.” Owen clapped a hand on Link’s shoulder. “Good luck.”

“What’s up, you look stressed.” Jo slid into the cafeteria seat beside him. “What you got there?” Her eyes widened as she caught sight of it. “Atticus Lincoln, is that a ring box?”

“Jo, shut up,” he shushed her frantically.

“Wow, Shepherd did a number on you. It’s like we’re back in high school,” Jo teased, shoving a spoonful of jello into her mouth. “Yeah, I know it’s nasty. I forgot my lunch,” she explained, replying to his confused look. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” he answered defensively, not exactly sure why he was being defensive. “I’ve been trying to get advice.”

“Well it’s not like this is you or Amelia’s first marriage. She probably isn’t expecting anything.”

“I know,” he sighed. “What did Alex do?”

Jo grinned. “He’d set up this whole little romantic dinner and I was going to break up with him.”

“What?” Link exclaimed.

“Yeah, I was all about ultimatums back then. Me or Meredith, all that shit. Anyways, it was sweet and small and perfect.”

“So you didn’t break up with him?”

“No, I figured that once I was his wife he’d have to choose me over Meredith.” She shrugged. “Turns out I like her more than I was expecting to. If you want to talk to the big romantic people you could talk to Jackson. Maybe not the best way but he called of April’s whole wedding to confess his love to her. Arizona proposed to Callie and then they got in a car accident. Less romantic, more catastrophic.

“Who are—”

“And then Teddy proposed to her first husband because he was her patient and didn’t have good health insurance.”

“What?”

“Crazy times happened at this hospital before you came around,” Jo patted his arm. “Look, I know you want to do something nice but she’ll love anything you end up doing.” And with that she headed out of the cafeteria, jello cup in hand.

The next night Link raced to Meredith’s, knowing that Amelia’s shift ended only an hour after his. Maggie had told him to set up at Meredith’s and that he could tell Amelia that they were having a girls night to throw her off. Link was pretty sure Amelia didn’t need ‘throwing off’ but he agreed knowing that Maggie most likely wanted to see Amelia’s reaction.

“What do you mean you aren’t already married, aren’t you having a baby?” Zola asked as Link was frantically setting the table for two. “Mom says that you get married first and then the baby comes after.”

“Well in most cases.” Link answered, glancing over at her. “Hey, Zola stop picking at those flowers.” Referring to the bouquet he’d bought on their way home.

“Sorry,” Zola shrugged. “You’re just making her dinner? What else?”

“I don’t know,” Link mumbled guiltily. “What do you think I should do?”

“I dunno,” Zola answered. “That’s your job.”

“Right,” Link sighed as he tossed the salad and placed the bowl on the table. Suddenly, he heard the front door open. “Do I kneel now?” He asked Zola.

“How am I supposed to know, do I look married to you?” Zola replied. Link decided to kneel, his heart thumping in his chest. His shaky hands reached into his pocket.

“False alarm,” Zola giggled as Meredith entered the room.

“Oh wow,” Meredith laughed. “I’m so flattered.” She mocked fanning her face.

“Shut up,” Link grumbled. “I’ve been trying to get this right all week and I can’t figure out anything to do justice to how much she means to me. I wanted to plan out this big romantic gesture but that just seems dumb and I don’t want to wait any longer. I would marry her right now if I could. I’ve been carrying around this stupid ring all week trying to find a time to give it to her that seemed right but I’m so worried that I’ll screw it up that I back out every time. Like how do I ask her to marry me and sum up all the million things I love about her into such a short amount of time?” He ran a pathetically shaky hand through his hair.

“That’ll do,” Amelia’s soft voice enters the room, her hands circling the swollen bump that recently formed on her abdomen.

“I was about to tell you,” Meredith grinned.

“Are you kidding me?” Link balled his hands in frustration. Meredith grabbed Zola by the hand, the little girl’s eyes wide as if she were watching a special on tv, and dragged her out of the room to give the couple some space. “Amelia, I wanted—”

“Link, this is perfect.” Her eyes scanned the room, softy lit by a couple of candles on the table. A bottle of sparkling water was sitting in a small bath of ice and she smiled as she saw that he’d made all her favourite pregnancy cravings. A sharp aroma drifted through the room and Link seemed to noticed it too.

“I burnt the chicken,” he nodded in disappointment, not even bothering to run to the kitchen in an attempt to salvage it. “This is a nightmare.”

“This is not a nightmare.” Amelia shook her head, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You are absolutely perfect in every way, Atticus Lincoln.” He tried to conceal the blush that was overwhelming his cheeks, feeling like an idiot. “Now do you have a question to ask me or...” she bit her lip with a smile.

“Oh. Yeah!” He knelt down on one knee and glanced up into her deep blue eyes before removing the lid to the little velvet box in her hand. “Amelia Shepherd, from the moment I met you I haven’t spent a day without the thought of you entering my mind. You amaze and inspire me to be a better person and a better surgeon.” He paused as he saw tears begin to build at the edges of her eyes. “You make me so excited to be a father. I mean very scared...but also very excited and I would love to spend the rest of my life raising this child, and maybe other children,” he tried to hide his excitement, “with you. I wan’t to wake up beside you every morning and fall sleep with you in my arms every night. Amelia, will you marry me?”

“Of course,” she answered without hesitation. “And I would reply with the same answer if you’d asked me on our car ride to work or in the middle of surgery.”

“Would that have been better?”

“No, you loser,” she rolled her eyes as he slipped the ring on her finger. “Now come here and give your fiancée some kisses.”

“Do you say that to all of us?” He teased as he fulfilled her request.

sorry this is super shitty but I feel the need to write any prompt im given haha (that makes it sound like i dont like writing prompts but i do!!!) plz keep sending them bc they keep me motivated<3 and thx sm for all the support on my recent fics.

[maknaesdancersrappers]

Warm (14/16)

prologue

cotton, wind, blow, blouse.

hair, flower, aroma, scent.

cold, eyes, ice, dive.

touch, warm, melt, lips.

a/n: i cried writing this one

-

You’ve noticed ever since your 7th anniversary, Taeyong has been distant and jittery around you. It started with him blankly staring at you when you would tell him about your day and it would take a few calls of his name for him to snap out of it. Next, he would always come home late, either from working overtime or hanging out with Johnny ever since he moved back to Seoul from Chicago.

When you consulted your best friend, she said it might be the infamous ‘7-year itch’ that happens between couples; when the relationship starts to recede. You argued that it can’t be because he’s always just as passionate and enthusiastic when you two would fool around in bed.

“Well, maybe he just wants sex. You two are still unbelievably celibate.” She scoffs and under her breath she grumbles, “I still think his pepper is an inch.”

You scold her when you caught what she said, shoving her shoulder.

“Then he’s probably cheating on you! Like, are you sure he’s really working overtime or meeting Johnny?”

You frown at her suggestion, “It’s not like him to lie.”

“Remember that little incident with what’s-her-face and wanting to have him ‘study each other’s anatomy’ back in senior high?”

That left an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach and it stayed there until you got back home where Taeyong was browsing through the usual stack of papers he brings home from work in the living room.

He looks up from the file he was holding, his eyes a little red and the bags under them were darker than usual. “Oh, hey.” He briefly stands up to kiss your cheek before plopping back down on the couch. “Have you eaten? I made some beef stew.”

“I’m still full… Aren’t you going to bed yet?”

“I will in a while. I’ll just sort these out.”

You nod and get ready for bed, trying to forget the suggestions your best friend had mentioned earlier.

Taeyong clambers onto the bed just a few minutes after you settle in and as he was about to scoop you into his arms and warm you up from the cold airconditioning, his phone rings. He mumbles an apology when he sees your dismayed expression before getting up and answering his phone.

“Why are you calling? Ya! I’m thinking it through, wait, I’m in the same room as her.” He says into his phone in a hushed tone, thinking you didn’t hear him as he slips out the room.

Your chest tightens, thinking what through? And why did it matter that you were in the room.

“Maybe he’s cheating on you.” Your friend’s words echo in your head.

You fell asleep before Taeyong came back to bed and when you woke up the next morning, he was gone already. He left a note by the breakfast he made you, telling you he had to go work early, and you can tell he was in a rush because of his handwriting.

As you dusted your face with setting powder, your gaze lands on the small jewelry box Taeyong had gotten you for your birthday 2 years ago. You haven’t been wearing any of your jewelry since you only used them for night outs or formal events, but today you felt like wearing at least one of them. Upon opening the navy faux leather box, it was a mess of tangled chains of necklaces and bracelets on one side and neatly arranged rows of your earrings where rings are supposed to be. You see the rose pendant he had gotten you before and untangle it from the others. On the leaves, it had his initials and since you felt so distant with him the past weeks, you decided to wear it.

But it had still bothered you all morning about Taeyong’s actions and your friend’s words still haunted the back of your mind. You hated it that it made sense in your head, but you refused to believe any of it. You were so out of it during work that your boss had advised you to take the rest of the day off.

You barely worked in the morning, yet the second you got to your apartment, fatigue started to set in. Without another thought, you open the door and toe off your shoes on the mat. You thought you were seeing things, but you see Taeyong’s loafers--the one he wears to work--on the mat, and what made you feel ten times worse were the black pumps beside it.

“Taeyong?!” You didn’t mean to actually screech, but when you hear more than one hurried footsteps inside the living room, you repeat yourself and stomp towards the noise.

“[Y/N]!” Taeyong awkwardly stands in the middle of the living room, hands behind his back and looking flustered. “W-what are you doing home so early? Are you sick? Are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” You scoff, “Are you okay? What are you doing home so early?”

“I, uh, forgot some papers.”

“Oh, did you?” He nods his head at your question. “Did you bring a co-worker with you, huh?”

His eyebrows furrowed together and as if a lightbulb went off in his head, his eyes widened. “Uhm, I--”

“Where is she?” You demand as you looked around the room. When you feel his hand on your shoulder, you push him off and glare at him with wet eyes. “Are you cheating on me?”

“No! You know I would never even think of that!”

“Then whose heels are on the mat?”

“Miyoung’s!”

You and Taeyong had never screamed at each other like this.

“Who the hell is that?!”

“Johnny’s girlfriend!”

And as if on cue, the front door shuts and Johnny’s voice booms, “Hey, Taeyong, the flower shop only had peach roses, [Y/N] is fine with that, right--oh…” He walks into view with a three large bouquets of the roses he was just talking about. “A-am I late?”

On the corner of your vision, you see Taeyong shake his head while covering his face with a hand.

“Late for what?” You asked, calming down a bit.

Suddenly, a girl runs out from the laundry room and went straight for Johnny. She looks at you with a tight smile. “Hi, uhm, I wish we met on better circumstances, but I think it’s best that Johnny and I leave. Let’s go, hun.”

“Wait, what’s happening?” Johnny looks at her and back at Taeyong, but she hushes him.

“Hush, Taeyong can handle this.” She says, glancing at him and gives him a thumbs up, mouthing “You got this.”

When they left, you turn to Taeyong and wait for him to explain.

“Uhm, do you want to sit down first?”

“No, I’m good standing up.”

He sighs, “Okay. Uhm…” His eyes fall on your neck, making him reach out and touch the necklace you wore. “You haven’t worn this in a while.”

“Don’t change the topic. What the hell is happening?” You snap at him and he offers you an apologetic smile.

“When I bought this, the store also had these rings; really expensive rings. And I knew I didn’t have the money to buy them so I didn’t think much of it until I saw this one particular ring. I immediately thought of you and I don’t know why I did, but when the lady who sold me this necklace offered to reserve the ring for at most 3 months, I took it.” He pauses to swallow. “After I gave you this necklace, I started working different part time jobs so I can save up for the ring. I didn’t even have enough when the 3 months were up, but my mom lent me the money because she knows how much I wanted it for you-- how much I love you.”

Taeyong pulls out a square box from his back pocket and you recognize the packaging as the same one that came with the necklace from years ago. “So I’ve had this for 4 years because I didn’t know when to give it you; I kept waiting for the right time, and if you came home a little later, I could have given it to you like I planned.”

You stare up at him, “But, we already celebrated our anniversary… w-what’s with today that you have to ask Johnny and his girlfriend for help?”

He inhales deeply, closing his eyes as he slowly exhales. With one last breath, he gets on one knee and holds your hand, gazing into your eyes.

“I swear to God, I had a whole spiel to tell you, but you came too early and now I can’t remember most of it.” He chuckles, “And I feel like I should apologize for taking so long to do this, but [Y/N], you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’re patient and understanding with me, you know how to put up with me, and I’m--I’m me because of you. I loved you for 7 years and I promise to love you even more for the next years to come,” He opens up the square box and reveals the most elegant ring you’ve ever seen. “Will you marry me?”

You don’t even realize that you had held your breath or that you’ve began crying until you attempted to answer him. “Wait, I just feel so stupid for thinking that you were cheating on me.”

He shushes, vehemently shaking his head. “No, no, it’s okay. Please answer me, baby. One word, yes or no. And whatever it is, I’ll accept it.”

You choke back your tears at the thought of him understanding if you reject his proposal, “Of course, it’s a yes!” You pull him up from the floor and throw your arms around his shoulders.

He hugs you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and you feel it: the warmth of his body that you missed so much; the warmth that made you feel that you were home.

“Is this really happening?”

He laughs, breaking the hug off to put the ring on your finger. “Why? Are you having second thoughts?”

“No!” You cry, briefly admiring the ring before returning your attention on Taeyong, who wipes your tears with his thumb, “Never.”

-

a/n:  i will always cry while writing marriage proposals bc its the only time i allow myself to be so cheesy and im so soft rn it didnt help that taeyong had apple hair for inkigayo :c

this is still open  (u kno if anyone else is interested in getting to know me)

follow me on twitter? @ohyesjaehyun

[tobeyouthful]

Two Sinners and Tiny Demons | Oneshot.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader words: 6799 words warning: Mention of miscarriage and cheating. genre: angsty, fluffy, with a dash of smut a/n: This took two full days and im proud since its my longest fic yet. Shoutout to my sister for editing it for me, crying over it, and helping me pick who it should be he was your sun and your moon and everything in between and now he was nothing but a ghostly memory and a few pictures on your phone.

me. 10:48 PM. I’ve been thinking of you lately. Deleted. You shut your phone down and turned to lay on your side as it laid on the pillow behind you.  You had heard the rumors, the soft words exchanged in dimly lit rooms before you enter them. The lingering, half said sentences that make you falter in your step before you plaster a toothy smile onto your face. The snow fell quietly outside and in any normal situation, you’d find yourself lulled to sleep while watching it but now your mind is occupied with him. His beautiful dark brown eyes and the tiny smile he would wear when you first woke up in the morning. But all of the things you loved (still love) were being shown to someone else now and you didn’t have a right to ruin that. Especially since you had someone too. He treated you right, gave you everything you wanted from the other, but your smile didn’t last that long and his touches didn’t electrify something underneath your skin like before. You were stubborn and you couldn’t, wouldn’t, escape from this. You rolled over and for a moment you were expecting him to be there. His dark fringe covering his eyes but the smile still there, lighting up his whole face regardless with how small it was. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you reached out to grasp your phone, sitting up quickly as your fingers tapped eagerly against the screen. me. 10:53 PM. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, how have you been? Draft saved. The snow continued to fall well into the next day but you weren’t one to complain since the snow was your favorite. You worked as a receptionist for a private doctor’s office that was open six days a week with late hours. You got good pay for being the only receptionist. Your gaze moved to look out the glass door, watching the falling snowflakes. You met him out there, it was your first month working there and he ran into you, his phone and iPad falling onto the pavement. The first thing to come to your mind was that you were so glad it was his devices and not coffee. But wasn’t this how all love stories started? You weren’t sucked into his eyes but the stark color of his hair. The blond fit him, much to your amusement. And that smile. It was huge and boxy and it made your heart fill to the brim with curiosity and helped the butterflies in your stomach take flight. His large hands steadied you, almost like he had completely forgotten about his fallen items. “Are you hurt anywhere?” His voice deep and smooth, like melted chocolate. This foreign man had you hooked in only a few heartbeats. You were dragged out of your memories when the shrill ringing of the phone caught your attention.  You answered and went on with your duties, the snow still falling steadily outside of your cozy room. Kim Taehyung successfully leaving each of your senses and giving you a moment of peace. him. 8:15 PM. I miss you so much. Deleted. His hand gripped his newly bought phone tightly. Calm down, you can’t break another one. He threw his phone onto his neatly made hotel bed then collapsed into the office chair and ran his hands through his stiff, gel covered hair. You were on his mind lately. Even as he laid in bed next to her, you were there. The hushed voice of Jimin speaking to a mutual friend was forced to the front of his brain and he could hear the woman speaking about you and your new boyfriend and how cute you two were together. That was the first time he had broken his phone, shattering it easily by throwing it against the wall opposite of him. He refused to think that you could have moved on from him even if he had been able to move on to some random girl. The woman he woke up next to in the morning wasn’t you, she wasn’t as beautiful as you, and her smile didn’t spark a fire in his chest like you did. Her dyed blonde hair wasn’t as beautiful as your natural black hair. He didn’t think he got lucky with her, he thought of her as nothing but a replacement for what he lost before. He felt the familiar arms wrap around his neck from behind and it took a lot of control to keep himself from flinching. “Are you okay baby?” He could barely stand her voice anymore. “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be? I just spent nearly fourteen hours on a flight only to be stuck in a hotel because you caught my kitchen on fire,” his voice was dripping with venom that he knew she wouldn’t be able to catch on to. She wasn’t you. She tightened her arms around his neck and laughed as she leaned down to press a kiss to his cheek. “Our kitchen, Tae baby. And it wasn’t bad, it was minor and we’ll be home in two days.” He closed his eyes as she began to move her hands down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his toned abdomen. Her acrylic nails attempted to create marks in his skin as she kissed and sucked on his neck. Taehyung’s mind wandered to before, when you had done this to him. Your beautifully manicured nails dug painfully into his stomach as you trailed a line of kisses down to his shoulder before meeting his impatient ones. He turned the chair to meet you and his hands pulled at your hips, settling you down in his lap. Taehyung loved the small gasp you made when his fingers slipped past the waistband of your panties. The small whimpers leaving your mouth made his mouth water and his ego swell. He could be the only one to make those… He looked down at your hand that was gripping his arm and the small diamond that gleamed back at him caused a boxy smile to come onto his face. You were soon to be his forever. He was ripped from his memories when he felt her sit his lap, still wearing her dress and heels. He looked up at her and disappointment shot through him and shook his head. “I’m not feeling it.” “You’re never feeling it,” came the hard response. “Why can’t we have sex anymore? It used to be great, now it’s like the minute I get into it you’re against it. Are you impotent or something?” Her words didn’t affect him the way he thought they should have. No, he thought, you’re just not her. When she went to bed that night he grabbed his phone and went out to his balcony to look over his photos. him. 1:18 AM. We need to talk. Deleted. Taehyung wondered what he was doing here. The woman in the other room was madly in love with him, expecting him to propose every single day of the year while he was stuck in love with another woman who never wanted to speak to him again. You occupied his mind so often that he wasn’t sure what was real and what was just a memory. He felt the ghostly touch of your fingers on his bicep and when he turned he half expected to see your beaming smile and soft eyes beckoning him to come back to sleep. him. 1:21 AM. Can I see you? Sent. On your days off you spent much of it inside, cleaning and catching up with the chores you had forgotten about for the majority of the week. When your hand reached over to grab your phone you hadn’t expected to see a notification and when you did, you regretted waking up right away. Can I see you? What a simple question, but one that caused painful flashbacks. You knew he could see that you had read it but he probably sent it in a drunken stupor after a fight with the beautiful model girl he was dating. She was stunning and you were plain, you could see why he had left you for her. Did he touch her with a gentleness that caused her insides to liquefy or did he touch her like she was forbidden and only show her an excitement that felt unreal? Did he love her like he said he loved you? You buried your face into your pillow as a wave of nostalgia wash over you. The last night you two spent together was filled with hate and fury and you were sure that you two were going to end up killing each other before the clock hit midnight. Pain, that’s all you felt the last night. Taehyung admitting to buying a house back in his home town without letting you know, only expecting you to uproot yourself from Seoul to move to Daegu in less than a week. Then he admitted to meeting with another woman and your whole body stopped working. Your brain shut down momentarily. Taehyung watched you with desperate eyes and you could barely keep yourself together. “What?” Your weak voice betraying you immediately. “A woman?” He seemed to understand what you were insinuating and he tried to stop you from thinking anything but you backed away from him, hands coming between you two. “I thought… I knew you had a past, but you promised me Taehyung,” you whispered, your words catching in your throat as a sob threatened to come up. “No, please, I didn’t mean it like that. I was meeting with her to discuss wedding plans, remember that girl? That model Jimin was friends with? She was offering to help me get you a custom-made dress! I even was giving her your sketches!” He tried hard to grab you in a hug but you kept running away from him. You backed away from him even more and shoved hard at his chest. “No, stop it, don’t push me away! She tried to come onto me, but baby I have you. I don’t need anyone else! I couldn’t possibly want anyone else but you! I want to marry you and settle down with you and I want to have a family,” he whispered the final words, knowing they’d hit you like ton of bricks. You were so weak to him, to his words but this time… “Jungkook told me how he saw you with another woman, kissing her, buying her coffee, driving her in the direction of our home,” you whispered and suddenly the tension and disappointment was palpable. “You cheated on me, didn’t you?” Taehyung’s chest caved in. “I’m sorry,” your worst fear was real. In your mind, he would never touch another woman like he touched you, never bring her to the places you both deemed as yours, never bring another woman to your home… The home you experienced so much love and pain together. “After the mis—“Your head shot up and you weren’t sure if what you were hearing was real. He had betrayed you after something that broke you in more ways than one. He was using it as an excuse to hurt you. Kim Taehyung, the man you fell in love with in college took another woman in his arms because you miscarried your first child together. “I hate you. I hate you so much,” you whispered. “I didn’t want that to happen… I didn’t want to lose her. I’m 23 years old, I wanted to start a family with you! You decided to sleep with another woman because of something I didn’t want to happen!” Your voice raised and your hand landed a sharp slap to his cheek. “I always thought so highly of you… You were my dream man, I never thought about your past while we were together because I could see how you had changed,” your hands ran through your disheveled, slightly greasy hair. “I wanted a family. I wanted a life with you. You brought a woman here, slept in our bed together, all because I miscarried!” Right away there was regret in Taehyung’s eyes. You spotted it but no matter what there was no going back from this. “You can take this back and you can bring Jimin’s model friend here and fuck her, date her, love her, then break her heart,” you said as you (barely) walked over to him and handed him the beautiful diamond ring he had picked for you. Taehyung reached out for you but you pulled back. “You don’t have a right to touch me anymore.” You arrived at a restaurant of his choice and sat down at the designated table, ordering a glass of wine for yourself as you began playing with a ring on your index finger. You had dressed to the nines for this little meeting. A tight black pencil skirt and a beautiful maroon sweater tucked neatly into your skirt with your hair in loose curls and sky high heels that always made you feel powerful. You wondered if you should just disappear before the man you once thought of marrying sat down opposite of you with a sullen look on his face and a shattered phone in his hand. “I thought you wouldn’t come,” he uttered after ordering a glass of wine as well. He was dressed beautifully as well. A black suit with a matching maroon button up, his hair natural and fluffy. If anyone looked over they’d only see a power couple, something you both used to be. You saw the purple splotches on his neck and laughed bitterly, his attention shooting over to you immediately. You could see the realization in his eyes before a hand moved to pull his collar up slightly. “They mean nothing to me,” he whispered before turning to fully face you. He felt sick as he sat there because he didn’t have any right to be there, not after his mistakes. “I know they don’t. Nothing ever means anything to you does it?” You spat, your question was like acid and he could feel his face paling from the roughness. You two were apart for twenty-four months but you were still angry and you had every right to be angry. “I never… I never cheated on you,” the sentence was stupidly simple and it made you soften for a moment because for the first time in all these months you actually believed him. If he told you a year ago that he hadn’t cheated, you might not have believed him.  “I said I was sorry because I had been with a woman but it was just my sister, I kissed her cheek, I took her out to coffee, and then we went back to our place and she drew up plans for the wedding… I showed her your sketches and she had designed this beautiful wedding for us,” he said in this miserable voice, “I just wanted to keep a fucking secret so I could surprise you with everything…” Once again, a laugh was ripped from your throat and it startled both of you because it was so inappropriate. “Then why would you bring that up? Don’t you realize how stressed and sad and fucking miserable I was? I had just gone through that, only four months before and you…” “I was trying to say that after it happened I wanted you to see that I wanted you regardless of it. I wanted to continue to go on with it all regardless of us losing our first daughter,” his eyes held yours as he spoke and you felt yourself falling back into those deep, chocolate pools. “We had barely done anything after and I heard you talking with you sister about how you were scared I was going to leave you and I didn’t want that in your mind. I wanted you to see that you didn’t need to worry about anything because I’d always be there to help and take care of you.” For once, you hated how easy it was for Taehyung to take your breath away. “So, I’ve been believing you cheated on me for two years and it was a lie? And you didn’t try to convince me otherwise?”  What a fool. “Why? Why would you do that? I was so madly in love with you and the idea of being yours forever. I’m with another man, Taehyung. You’re with that model… Why now?” You were half angry at him and half upset with yourself. “Because this whole month has been nothing but you. Everywhere I go I see a spot we went to, I see your face, I feel your hands on me, and I see that insatiable smile that I can’t get enough of. That woman? Nothing to me. That man? Nothing to you. And you can’t lie because we both know there is far too much between us to keep it buried forever.” He was so cocky but he was true. You knew right away that if you left this restaurant without dipping your toes into the sinful deed you hated, you’d be alone forever. The lack of true happiness would swallow you up whole. The hotel was like the one you two shared when you journeyed to Jeju with the rest of the boys after they graduated from university. His hands felt like fire everywhere he touched you and it was too familiar for you to resist. He picked you up effortlessly and rested your back against the wall as your legs wrapped around his waist to keep a secure hold on him. “Taehyung,” you breathed as his lips ghosted down your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses right below your ear. “No marks.” A deep growl ripped from his chest and a shudder ran up your body at the feral sound. His possessiveness was showing and it made the small fire light up in your chest. His hands tightened on your hips for a moment as his lips made their way back up to yours. You gave in even more as one hand pushed passed your skirt and teased you over your panties. “Are you always this soaking wet? Fuck,” he murmured into your ear and you shook your head. The soft ‘no’ that left your lips made him moan out before he delved past your lace panties to feel just how excited you were. Another moan left his throat as he easily pushed a finger inside of you. You gasped out his name and tightened a hand in his hair. “How long has it been since you were properly fucked, Y/N?” he asked as his thumb moved up to rub at your clit haphazardly, barely able to keep himself from shaking in anticipation of the upcoming activity. “Twenty-four months,” you answered and he stopped himself for a second and it had you whimpering with need. You were about to speak (or whine) when you felt a hand at your face, grasping it tightly. Your eyes opened and stared at him, his pupils completely blown out with lust and you could see the hints of adoration and love floating around. “You’re mine. And I’ll mark you up if I goddamn well please. And I’ll make you scream my fucking name and your thighs will shake as you come when I bury my fucking head between them,” his lips pressed against yours as he pushed two of his digits inside of you, causing you to eagerly push your hips down onto them. “Yes.. god, yes, Taehyung, please,” you begged and he pulled away from the door to throw you onto the cushy hotel bed, allowing you to fully look over your former lover. “I love you,” the words came out easily and naturally and seeing his big, boxy smile only added into your excitement. “I love you too.” You woke up naked but surprisingly clean, your mind reminded you quickly that you had taken a shower after your little sexcapade. You squeezed your eyes shut because at any moment you could look over and realize that it was just a small little fantasy moment that meant nothing. You were happily not disappointed at the sight to your left. The moments you got to see Taehyung sleeping were one in a million and you always took a picture of it to commemorate what you had seen. But his eyes opened before you could lean over to grab your discarded phone (one that you knew had messages and missed calls wondering where you were). “I thought you were going to leave me here alone,” he whispered, his voice laced with sleep. “I was so scared.” You chuckled a little and shook your head as you leaned over to press a kiss against his familiar lips. “I can’t leave you now,” you whispered. As you laid there, wrapped up in his arms, you could feel the small, invisible demons crawling all over your skin. They were whispering against each and every mark Taehyung had made, reminding you about the man that was still calling, still texting, still worrying. They wanted you to feel guilty while you felt good, right, laying there in Taehyung’s arms while he whispered about a future you two could share together. him. 4:21 PM. Did I ever tell you about how hard it was to fall in love with you? me. 4:21 PM. And why was that? him. 4:25 PM. Because you did so many things that made it easy for others to fall for but I could tell they weren’t really you. Your little flirty touches and your skin-tight outfits… I knew they weren’t you. I couldn’t love someone that was so easy to love, not when I couldn’t see who you really were. When I first slept over and I saw you with that loose bun and the beaten-up sweatpants and the eager way you could shove a whole fucking waffle in your mouth without hesitation for $20… I fell in love there. You didn’t make it easy but the more I got to see the girl underneath the clothes and hair I could see the girl I wanted to make a family with. me. 4:30 PM. I never knew I made it so hard for you, but I would have to say the same about you. him. 4:31 PM. How is that? me. 4:34 PM. You were a fool who forgot that you weren’t the only one looking past barriers. Mr. My-Tiny-Smirk-Made-Panties-Wet-And-Hearts-Drop. The routine was set from that moment six months before but rather than it feeling exhilarating, the both of you were feeling wrong. You’d undress each other and spend those precious moments basking in each other’s glory but now you could see that it wasn’t as fun as the first time. It was much more obvious when both of you met the others at a party for Namjoon and his wife and the start of their joint company. You had a permanent frown on your face the whole time, not wanting to be there with this man as he schmoozed his way into every conversation, handing out his name card like it was something to be proud of. him. 8:34 PM. You look stunning. Spin for me. Your attention was stolen by the text before your head shot up to look for the familiar deep brown eyes that made your butterflies flutter. You caught his eye and did a small spin, the form fitting, knee length black dress not moving an inch. You wore a pair of red high heels that Taehyung had bought you four years before. He seemed to like the look based on the slight raise of his glass of champagne. me. 8:37 PM. Stop looking, pervert. Your eyes flickered over to the woman that was attached to his side before looking at him. The butterflies ceased their movements. Taehyung’s eyes held yours as if he was urging you to try and look away from him but you held your ground, the pain evident in your eyes. You didn’t like this set up. You should be standing next to each other and you shouldn’t be exchanging texts to relay messages to each other. That’s just not how this should be. You felt your arm being tugged on and you looked up at the man that you rarely shared a bed with. He uttered a soft, that’s Kim Taehyung, I heard he’s a great business man, let’s go introduce ourselves. Your stomach twisted up into knots are you walked over to the two, the woman recognizing you right away and grimacing. “Kim Taehyung! It’s so nice to meet you finally! I’m Park Jinyoung and this is my girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N.” The woman began laughing bitterly and the look Taehyung shot her was deadly, forcing her to shut up just as soon as she started. “We know who she is, Mr. Park. My Tae baby and your girlfriend dated several years ago,” she said, her chest practically puffing out as if her ego had swelled just from the mention of it. The emphasis on ‘my’ had your mind reeling. “We don’t wish to have any contact with-“ “Don’t mind her, she has no idea what business is like,” Taehyung extended his hand out to your boyfriend and you smiled sweetly at the model. “She’s a popular model but her business ethic is extremely off, unlike some women I’ve met.” He was mentioning you without being obvious and you were thankful. Taehyung and your boyfriend exchanged cards before you all broke away from the awkward confrontation. Your boyfriend shot you a few angry glances as you both went to grab another glass of champagne. He didn’t bother asking because he knew you wouldn’t answer anyway. When you finally got away from him and went to the bathroom you were graced with the presence of Taehyung and the familiar warm arms. “It’s too obvious if both of us disappear,” you whispered but still turned your head to lay it against his shoulder. You loved him far too much but this was not something either of you particularly liked doing. “Taehyung, let me go, I have to go to the bathroom,” you said as you tried to leave his arms but they tightened around you even more and he shook his head. He was acting like a child, the way he used to act whenever you had to leave bed in the morning to go to school. “I need to get back and congratulate Namjoon,” you muttered but you were weakening and you wanted to stay like that for hours. “You look stunning, my love, purely stunning. Wearing my favorite shoes… You did that just to tease me didn’t you?” his words were light and in no way insinuating either of you disappear into the bathroom together. “I fucking love you,” he said softly against the shell of your ear. Your body tensed up and you knew that this was wrong, you knew that this wasn’t going to end up well for either of you. “I love you too, Taehyung,” you answered and he let out a relieved sigh, almost like he was scared you weren’t in love with him anymore. That’s impossible, you thought, I’ve never loved someone else this strongly. After nearly a year of expensive hotel rooms, vacations, and late night text messages and phone calls, your happy little fantasy was crashing to an end. All with a simple little test you could buy at the drug store. Two small lines that could destroy everything.

him. 3:12 AM. Where are you? I’m scared. him. 8:56 AM. Two days now… Where are you? Call me. Missed call. him, 7:45 PM. Missed call. him, 8:00 PM. Missed Call. him, 9:07 PM. him. 9:09 PM. It’s been a week, fucking call me. Now. NOW. him. 5:39 AM. I miss you so fucking much, please don’t ignore me, message me back. I can’t get sleep like this. I need to know you’re not dead in a fucking ditch. Missed call. him, 6:30 AM. Missed call. him, 9:01 AM. Missed call. him, 4:15 PM. You avoided Taehyung for nearly two weeks before he ended up outside of your apartment with your six other friends. You knew right away that they knew what was happening and the looks on their faces spoke nothing but support and worry over what could possibly be wrong. Jimin was the first to speak. “You are idiots.” Then Seokjin. “Why didn’t either of you contact us?” Namjoon made you laugh a little. “Is sneaking around as much fun as the movies make it seem?” Jungkook stayed quiet and it made you feel awful because you knew he was disappointed. Hoseok shook his head. “Taehyung should have been smarter.” The last was Yoongi and he was always so calculating. Harsh when he needed to be and cool when he needed to lessen the blow he landed. “You’re making a mistake. Both of you have lives, have others you’re supposed to be in love with and starting families with, instead you’re running around like you’re part of a teenage summer fling. Don’t you realize how ridiculous this is? How much money have both of you wasted on each other this past year? For a whole fucking year, you’ve been running around hurting the people that are focused only on you two, while you are abusing that,” he was telling the truth, but you didn’t need to hear it again. You shook your head as you laughed softly, your hands rubbing at your face slowly. You knew very well that you had to end this. “Well then you all must be excited to hear that Jinyoung proposed to me and I accepted,” the lie just came out so easily that you even shocked yourself. You closed your eyes as soon as you felt Taehyung’s hands grabbing at your shoulders. He was begging you quietly to tell him it was a lie, that there was no way you could leave him forever. “He’s getting the ring re-sized so I don’t have it… And we’re expecting.” The words left without much hesitation and Taehyung’s grip loosened. “I haven’t told him yet so please, don’t spread the word, guys,” you tried so hard to sound happy but your throat was closing and you were trying so hard to keep the sob from coming up.   Taehyung backed away and then there was chaos. “No. No, you’re fucking lying. I’m the only man who has touched you! Don’t you fucking dare take away this dream from us! He didn’t propose and you’re not pregnant! Ignore what they have to say, fuck what they say. It’s just me and you now baby, now stop lying and tell me you love me and things can go back to normal,” he was needy and his hands slid up and down your sides in such a desperation that had you breaking down easier. “We can move to Daegu, we can raise our child together, and we can be together again, marry each other and live happily ever after.” You shook your head and finally looked into Taehyung’s eyes because this was it. This child would be raised alone and you would be exiled from every social circle because of your sins. You would raise this tiny bundle of joy all alone and you’d urge Taehyung to propose to his girlfriend, treat her the way she wanted to be treated, have him fall out of love with you because that was the best for everyone at this point. He couldn’t afford to lose clients and connections because you two were enveloped in your own passionate needs. Jungkook finally stood and spoke. “If you’re lying and the baby is Tae-hyung’s I think you’re making a mistake. We all know that if you’re pregnant with his child then there is no way you’ll stay with Jinyoung. Noona, think about this. Three years ago, you were ready to settle down with hyung and create a family and even if you weren’t exactly doing the right thing here… That baby is his and it’s yours and you both need to stop your unnecessary shenanigans and raise it together.” “I’m sorry Kookie, it’s my choice on what I plan on doing with Jinyoung and I’s baby and at this current moment, I just want to go and tell him because this is so fantastic! I finally get a baby… I finally get to live the life I wanted so long ago. I’m twenty-six. I’m getting too old to be fooling around and acting like a child, being able to settle with a man who loves me… and whom I love, it’ll be perfect,” you could feel a tiny piece of your dignity and soul leave your body in that moment and out of the corner of your eyes you could see them float away. Taehyung slammed his fist into your wall and he shook his head, adamant on not giving up this battle. “No. Taehyung, this is not your baby and I do love him. We’ve had sex while we were going behind his back, I’m not going to just give up on him like you wanted me to.” Those beautiful dark orbs were hazy and filled to the brim with a fury that scared even you. “I had a lot of-“ “If you say fun I won’t hesitate to take every single bit of money and all of your possessions. I will take everything away from you because that’s what you’re leaving me with right now,” his voice wavered and you could see the specks of anxiety and sadness mixing together as he spoke. His threats were useless because he knew you’d do whatever the hell you wanted to do. “How about you all just leave me alone? I’ve already lost one child, I can’t lose this one,” you said softly and the men all dropped their heads in respect. Each one gave you a hug before leaving, Yoongi’s lasting a few more seconds, his lips grazing against your ear to speak before letting go and disappearing past your front door. Taehyung’s presence was looming over you as you shut the door behind everyone. He wasn’t going to leave you here, you knew that. You’d have to tell him the truth… “How far along are you?” “The doctor’s said I’m two months along,” you said softly as you sat down at the kitchen island and laid your head down on your arms. “They say if I remain stress free then I’ll be low risk for another miscarriage,” you explained before turning to look at him. Your eyes widened at the sight in front of you. His hair was disheveled and he had tears running down his face as he looked at you, a giant, boxy smile gracing his face. “You’re having a baby, that’s… That’s so fantastic,” you could tell immediately that he had accepted the fate of losing you forever and that you were no longer his girl. “Jinyoung… he’s so naïve but he’s going to make a great dad. Yeah, a fantastic dad. I’m rooting for him. What will you name the baby? Do you still want her name to be Eunha? I thought that was the prettiest name when we picked it out, god… I was so excited. R-Remember when we made up her room? All pretty and pink? I even bought her that ridiculously expensive transforming crib so we could keep it for when she grew bigger? I still,” he let out a sob but attempted to disguise it as a cough then chuckled softly, raising his hand in apology, “I still have it… the crib I mean.” Taehyung shook his head as he laughed, the pain radiating throughout each of his appendages in an uncomfortable fashion that made him forget that you were standing in front of him. “E-Eunha. God, she’s going to be a loved baby, isn’t she? A mother that has never…” You pushed off the chair and ran over to him, burying your face into his chest as you gripped at the back of his navy-blue sweatshirt. “A mother who has never done a bad thing in her whole life… so fucking pure and loved so dearly. Y/N, do you think… if I hadn’t screwed up, we would have already had a family together?” “Taehyung, please, stop,” you begged as your own tears threatened to spill over. “He’s not the father, fuck, I’m so so sorry, Taehyung please,” you knew you’d break down on him but not this quickly, you never thought you could actually get away with this in the first place. You both collapsed to the floor, a big mess of apologies and regrets and devastation. Thousands of words pass between you two, things you hadn’t been able to say to each other before and things you hadn’t bothered to say until now. You ended up with your forehead’s pressed against each other, tiny smiles exchanging between you. He was a handful, but he was your handful… He always had been. From the time you met until now, he was all yours and nothing was ever going to be able to change that. You stood at your balcony door, your hand settling on top of the slight curve of your belly. The snow was falling for the first time this winter and you were happy it was, just in time for his birthday party. You felt the strong, warm arms wrap around your waist and you leaned back against his chest. “Are you ready for the party? Jungkook just came so that’s the last of them… We still haven’t told them yet, y’know,” he whispered. “Do you think they’ll have a shit fit?” “Oh god yeah.” You turned in his arms and leaned up to press a gentle kiss to Taehyung’s lips. “Do you think they’ll think differently of me?” Yoongi’s words still poked at your heart, unsure if they’d still think negatively after two months of no contact. You and Taehyung had taken a reprieve, escaping from reality to enjoy the feel of each other’s skin without any hints of guilt. You had gone to Japan for a couple weeks before going to Hawaii for a month then coming back home to enjoy the move into your beautiful Daegu home. Eloping was also one of your finer moments while being back home. Taehyung dipped you back slightly to press a loving kiss to your lips before pulling away. “They’ve been bugging me to see you for two months, babe. I’m pretty sure they’d always love you regardless of what happened.” Someone burst through the door and you pulled away from Taehyung quickly. “Are we eating soon? Is it Y/N’s famous chicken marsala?” Hoseok’s voice was light and airy like normal and it put you at ease. Taehyung confirmed it was before waiting for the older male to shut the door. “They won’t see the bump until you show them, the dress is just loose enough not to notice.” His words put you even more at ease but the anxiety was still there as you left the room to greet your friends. Yoongi was the first to notice but of course he was kind enough not to say anything, only uttering soft, soothing words into your ear. Each boy made you feel like a damn princess as they showered you with love and affection. And everything made you feel so elated because you weren’t being pushed away, you were once again accepted into the group of boys that you had loved since day one. Like Taehyung, they were your everything and without their support… You didn’t have much to look forward to. They went a little wild when they found out you two wed at a courthouse and forced you both to agree to a proper wedding after the baby was born. Though you’ll never forget what Yoongi said before. Once saddened by the words, now enjoying the sentiment that came along with them. You’re just two sinners in love with access to cell phones. You couldn’t care much about your acts from before because now you were with the love of your life, living a care free life in a home you loved, and pregnant with your first child.   As Taehyung wrapped his arms around you from behind he showed you his phone, a simple draft saved in his phone. him. 7:04 PM. You’re glowing even though you’ve committed another sin. Didn’t you know getting pregnant before marriage was a sin? Even now, you don’t regret complying with the tiny demons that had once crawled all over your skin.