#im really fucking gay for this dickhead if you couldnt tell

[good-old-kooks]

Hi, I spent the entirety of last night drawing an entire a4 page’s worth of shitty Spade King doodles and I’m going to make that everyone elses problem. Incoherent ramblings about the drawings (that aren’t on the image already) under the cut.

I think it’s VERY telling that, out of all of the kings, this asshole’s the one wearing the most black. Like, come on, he’s such a moody bitch, staring off of the balcony of his castle before his battle and shit. And having his tits out 24/7? Dumbest motherfucker alive.

Spade yelling. I like his teef :)

I can bet my ass the only reason he doesn’t swear in-game is because he’s trying to look all cool and dignified. He’s such a fucking tryhard it’s embarrassing. 

This man eats soap you can’t convince me otherwise. There’s legit reasoning behind this headcanon of mine but no one cares lmao, so all you need to know is that Spade and Lancer can both digest just about anything and soap is just Spade’s personal favourite.

Greedy bastard. Again, teef are mostly the reason I drew this one. Also please for the love of god ignore the shitty cape. I gave -5 shits about drawing his cape in the smaller sketches. Also yeah all of these are just coloured sketches, I swear I usually draw better than this.

HE LISTENS TO BOOMER MUSIC YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. THIS IS SINGLEHANDEDLY THE BEST ART I’VE EVER DRAWN IN MY LIFE-

Anyway here’s human Spade. Both my sister and best friend said he looks ugly and I think that means I did my job REALLY well.

Oh yeah, I also have full personality headcanons for all the other kings, I just happen to like Spade the best. I like seeing just how much I can stretch and pull an expression for exaggeration purposes. Spade is really useful for that because he has a REALLY weird and specific design, so he’s easally recognizable.

Seam and Jevil cameos. Again, you can’t convince me that Spade ISN’T the “no fun allowed” king. Also I JUST realised I didn’t draw a Rouxls cameo on this entire page... Good.

What else is there to say? Other than the fact that the proportions on this are the worst I’ve ever done. I had to re-scale Lancer TWICE. And it STILL looks bad.

Yeah I don’t know the context for this one, I just thought it was a cool pose, and gave him something in-character to say along to that. I’m considering actually making this a Real Finished Drawing but god only knows how long THAT will take.

Bonus Lancer for your patience in reading through all this.

Also, shameless plug, I made a playlist of songs I associate with/are about the Spade King, it’s called the Spadelist. Right now there’s not much on it, other than remixes of his theme and some other metal songs and metal adjacent songs I think fit him. Check it out if you want, it’s only 21 songs thus far, but I plan to keep updating it.

[thirstygirlclub]

A Boy Named Box - Part Two (2)

KozikxGayMale!Reader

(this is my second time writing this. i had finished this, all done, until my internet crashed and i lost all of it. hopefully, this one will be as good as the lost part.)

(the second part of a request from an anon! where the reader is Juice’s twin brother that moved away from Queens to Charming for a new start and falls for a certain sandy haired son)  

also this part is dedicated to @marcus-demitri455 and @samcro-saint99 who were so lovely when i was so heartbroken about this, love you my angels! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

p.s legit thought that this was only going to be 3 parts max but I didn’t factor in the fact that i always get carried away and that this is all so cute that it is consuming me more than i ever thought possible? so this is going to be part 2 of 4 (for now but knowing me i’m going to turn it into a whole McFreakin’ book or some shit)

WARNING: CONTAINS CUTE STUFF

Tig was trying to rile you up, you knew he was, but that didn’t stop you giving him exactly what he wanted. You grabbed him by the front of his kutte and you couldn't give a shit about disrespecting the leather and sons of Anarchy colours when he was disrespecting you like he was. You had had enough of your sexuality being the butt of all of his jokes. You knew he was joking and he didn’t mean it, not really, but that didn’t stop it from offending you. Juan was getting sick of it too but he let you fight your own battles now you were both adults.

“Say that again,” you hissed lowly, “you bastard.”

“I said,” Tig said loudly with a laugh, “I’m not gonna let a gay kid beat me in the ring. Unless you’re scared-”

You bashed him roughly against the brick wall of the work bay while he grappled at your hands and work shirt; trying to get you to release him but his attempts proving fruitless. His eyes showed panic and pain, there was blood running from his nose and down his chin from where you had punched him to try and get him to shut up. Despite the expression on his face, he laughed as you were wrenched away from the older man. 

You struggled against Kozik’s grip. He had pulled your arms behind you, almost like a police grip, and was pulling you away. Even though he was strong, he was struggling to do so. Kozik practically threw you into the parking lot then pushed you back by the chest when you had rounded on him to get back to Tig.

“That’s enough!” Chibs commanded from where he had been watching the brawl and walking over to you, “Stop this now. You know he doesn’t mean it!”

“I don’t give a fuck if he means it or not,” you growled at the Scottish man, “I’ve had to deal with that shit all my life. I’m not dealing with it here, get it?”

“Alright, alright,” Chibs sighed with an understanding nod at you before turning to Kozik, “go deal with that dickhead. I’ll get the kid calmed down.”

“I’m not a kid!”

“Yeah? Then stop fucking acting like one!”

He grabbed you by the scruff of the neck and started walking you off but you fought him off. Chibs let go and put his hands up in surrender but followed you anyway. When you cast a glance back, Kozik grinned at you then turned back to go have a look at Tig’s face. 

“I’m takin’ bets on a fight night,” Chibs told you and took a drag of his cigarette, “first match is you against him. If you’re willing to clear the air in public.”

“If he’s not scared of losing to a fa-”

“Enough Box! Are you in? I’m sick and tired of you bein’ at each others throats all the time.”

“Yeah,” you spat, “I’m in.”

“Right. 2 weeks time, you and him in the ring then all this gets put to rest. Yeah?”

You had been sleeping peacefully, in a drunk and stoned stupor, snoring away when you were woken up by a voice in your ear.

“Box,” you heard them whisper in your ear, “time to get up.”

When you opened your eyes you saw Kozik stood over your bed, with his arms folded and that stupid grin on his face, you sat up with a gasp and pulled the blankets up over your naked body and stared up at him with wide eyes.

“What the fuck man?!” You shrieked hoarsely, “get out!”

Kozik laughed at your now bright red face but didn’t leave. When he didn’t say anything you shook your head in a ‘what the fuck’ kind of way. You knew you weren’t the most attractive person while you were sleeping, especially after a night of drinking and smoking. You hastily wiped the drool off of your cheek and tried to fix your bedhead.

“You know you snore?” He asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, thanks,” you said with a scoff.

“Get up now; we’re going training.”

“Training?”

“Yeah. I bet $64 on you winning and I’m not gonna get it back with that right hook so get up, get dressed.”

He picked some shorts and a black shirt from a pile of clothes from the pile of clean washing on the desk chair to throw them at you. He then stood looking around and the room that you were sleeping in.

“Uh, kinda naked here bro,” you said and held the blankets tighter to your bare chest, “you wanna leave?”

Kozik smirked, knowing he had already seen everything, but turned to leave anyway. Once the door was shut, you checked the time and groaned, standing up and pulling on the clothes.

“Are you joking?” You asked him as you stormed through to see him sat drinking coffee at the little dining table in the kitchen, “it’s 6-fucking-05 in the morning. What is your problem?”

“Gotta get there before the crowds. Come on. Let’s go, we’re jogging to the gym.”

He stood up and hit you on the bicep as he walked passed you and out the front door. You sighed and followed him, stretching and yawning as you went.

Evidently, you weren’t as fit as you thought you had been. You had been jogging for a total of 10 minutes and you already needed to sit down since you were puffing, panting and sweating profusely. You grabbed the back of Kozik’s shirt and braced yourself on your knees before collapsing on some nearby grass. Your running partner chuckled then same to sit by you. Luckily, it was still morning and reasonably cool out.

You had only been in Charming for about 6 weeks but you were already sick of the heat. You were so used to the chillier, grey weather in Queens and you hadn’t yet acclimatised to it like Juan had but then again, he was always a fan of warmer weather. You used to say he was like a lizard.

“Come on Box,” Kozik groaned once you had caught your breath, “we’ve been sat here for 20 minutes and I actually want to get to work today.”

“I still have to go to work after the gym?” You huffed then rolled onto your side and curled up in a ball when he nodded.

“Stop being a drama queen.”

“Who are you calling queen?” You asked venomously.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that! Fuck you’re grouchy in the morning!”

You sat up to glare at him and saw that he was already stood up and was holding his hand out you to help you up. You sighed in defeat, taking his hand and letting him help you stand and you weren’t sure but maybe he held it for a second too long when you were on your feet. And maybe there was that mischievous glint in his blue eyes but you couldn’t know for sure because as soon as you had thought you had seen it he had turned around to run on ahead of you.

Training with Kozik was simultaneously the toughest but most entertaining thing you had done in your life, kind of. You had got a chance to talk to him properly about everything you had been through and it was nice to open up to somebody that wasn’t Juan. As much as your brother loved you, you knew he was getting fed up of hearing about your ex. He would never say anything to you about it but you could just tell. That twin intuition, you know?

Kozik had listened patiently to your worries while you battered the punching bag. He eased your concerns that the guys hadn’t accepted you as yourself and still just thought of you as one half of The Juice Box, that they all thought you were running away from your past, that they didn’t accept you for your sexuality with them being a biker gang and all.

“You know the guys talk shit but honestly Box... listen to me. They love you, alright? We all do besides, we all got our thoughts on Tig. Nobody gives a fuck if you’re gay. And yeah, you’re Juice’s brother but you’re also Box. We get you’re a different guy all together. Got better hair for a start,” Kozik had told you, ruffling your sweaty hair and making you laugh; diffusing the tense atmosphere you had brought with you that one particular day, “and don’t worry about running from where you came from; we all got something we’re running towards. You know?”

You hadn’t been ashamed to wipe away a few tears when he told you that; you needed to hear that and it meant so much coming from him. But as he patted you comfortingly on the shoulder you couldn’t help wondering what it was that he was running to. 

On the plus side, you hadn’t been in better shape for a long time. You were waking up at 6am every morning without needing him to barge into your room and drag you out of bed. He had given you special instructions not to drink, smoke, do drugs for the entire 2 weeks you had been training with him and he had even put you on a special diet. This mostly consisted of you sharing his lunch, normally some kind of salad with lean meat or pasta, while you were working and him bringing you the food for your dinner. It was nice to have someone looking out for you every now and again.

You had a good little routine going too, wake up at 6 then run to the gym with Kozik at 6:30; work out and train until 8 so you were all ready to hit the showers and seeing him in just a towel afterwards was always a bonus, not that you would tell him that of course; he was already big-headed enough. 

The buzz around TM and the club house was electric on the day of the fight. Word had got out that Kozik was training you up and teaching you the way that Tig fought so he had enlisted the help of Chibs. This meant that it was no longer just a competition to see who was the better fighter but also who was the better coach too. The animosity and fighting talk was so bad between the two teams that Clay had to schedule the shifts so that neither team was mixed together. You had tried to defend yourselves and say that it was all friendly but Clay was having none of it.

You had also been promoted to “mechanic’s assistant” which essentially meant you were Kozik’s own personal go-fer boy and he was loving it; he was asking you to get any number of different things that he could easily get for himself. Every time you complained about it, he would remind you that Clay was keeping an eye on you to see if you were worth keeping on the team which would make you grumble but kick him the wrench that was about 3 inches away from his hand.

The sound of a motorcycle drew you out of your angry thoughts and you turned to see Juan climbing off of his motorcycle wearing his Sons of Anarchy kutte and sunglasses. He carried himself differently when he was wearing the vest and you kind of wanted one too but you had a feeling that regardless of how accepting they were as people, the other charters and club rules probably wouldn’t allow a gay man into the club. It didn’t stop you craving the sense of belonging that your brother had found with them though.

You were leaning casually against the front of a green dodge charger, beside Kozik as he was under the hood of the car, as you ate the rest of the blonde man’s chicken salad, when Juan came sloping over to you with his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face. You sent your twin a quizzical look which he returned sarcastically.

“You ready for tonight little brother?” Juan asked you, “you think you’re gonna win?”

“Uh yeah,” You scoffed, stuffing another bite in your mouth, “why? You got no faith in me?”

“Nah, obviously I do. I just mean that Chibs is a good coach, that’s all.”

With that comment, Kozik raised himself from under the hood of the car and stepped in front of you, between you and Juan, with his arms folded and his chest puffed out. Juan tried his best not took look threatened but his small step backwards betrayed his smug face. You peeked over Kozik’s shoulder and smiled around another bite of salad. Your brother looked between you and Kozik with a knowing smile but said nothing, turning to head into the clubhouse.

You knew Juan knew about your teeny tiny, minuscule crush on your fighting coach. Again the twin intuition, but knew better than to call you out on it. 

“You wanna pass me that wrench?” Kozik asked you once you had clipped the lid back on his tupperware tub.

He was pointing to a black handled tool in the tool box. All he had to do was bend down and grab it but he really was loving having you as his personal servant. With a sigh, you bent down to grab it and give it to him but he stood with his hand out stretched until you had placed it in his palm but even then he didn’t close his fingers around it.

“I meant the other one, the one next to it,” he said, that mischievous glint back in his eyes.

You sighed and raised your eyebrows at him before grabbing the other wrench and swapping it for the next size down. 

“No, the other one,” he grinned.

“Are you fucking kidding?”

“Less of the attitude mister,” he hit you in the chest with the wrench you had just given him before turning back into the car, “Clay is always watching you. You wanna be my butler forever?”

“If I don’t kill you first,” you muttered but turned away when you saw Clay peering at you through the blinds in the office.

“What?”

“Nothing man, just saying how much of an honour it would be.”

“Yeah. That’s what I thought you said.”

You laughed with him and brushed your shoulder against his as you lent under the hood to watch what he was doing, sharing a look with him before he turned back to his work with a smile on his face.

(legit have no idea how to write guys, i’m sorry!!)

[scatmaan]

tbh love simon has made me wanna vent but i got no one to rlly talk to so im gonna spam my trauma on tumblr lmao... i feel like i just have so much repressed shit bc i’ve never had anyone to talk to who can relate to what i went through? obviously there are other gay ppl out there who were shit on but i don’t know anyone personally so it’s like i have all this shit built up..  like, i started coming out to very close friends. i think i came out to 3 super close friends of mine in middle school. that’s all i told. but somehow me being gay ended up getting out and so the whole school knew? so... one of my best friends gossiped i suppose and outed me. which sucks to think about. i never wanted to really think too hard about who might’ve done it. bc they were my bffs lmao i didn’t want to hate any of them..  even my best friend.. who im still super close to played a really mean “prank” on me when i came out to her. ofc i did it over email bc it was back in them daaaays.. basically she wrote me back saying how i was a disgrace to my family and that they’d never love me in a very detailed and long letter. funny, right? i didn’t think so at the time and broke down. full on mental break down happening. but then she tells me, “oh i was jk lmao” like... she didn’t just fucking traumatize me. i forgave her ofc... bc i love her and i could never lose her. but idk it stills hurts even today.  and i’ve never actually told any of my friends what i went through after i was outed. just bc idk? never came up. i was always alone when kids would pass by me and whisper that i was going to burn in hell or call me a faggot. the only time one of my friends was with me was when i was full on cornered by these older kids(cliche ik but im not jk) in gym class. she ended up getting so mad on my behalf ...no surprise i crushed hard on her lmao... she was the first girl i ever rlly fell in love with. but she was straight ofc my luck. she did let me take her to the dance tho which was super nice... even if i ended up dancing with my ex.  who was actually my first gf and the source of my current ongoing anxiety about being affectionate in public. we were like a walking freak show. everyone knew about us. theyd surround us after classes trying to get us to kiss so they could take pictures... tbh as im typing all this out it sounds like a bad gay movie. and like... even the other very out lesbian at the time hated my ass. she thought i was a fake for some reason dont ask me fuckin why..  it didn’t even stop in middle school. that shit just followed me into highschool. making it fuckin impossible for me to have a decent relationship. i dated this one girl who was just so confident and self assured... she had such a loving and accepting family.. and she wanted me to be more than i could be. she wanted me to go farther and out myself to my family.. make our relationship way more public than just highschool public. and i couldnt do it. she was too touchy and i felt like everyone had their eyes on us even if they didn’t..  people i didnt fucking know came up to me and told me my friends were cheating on me with other girls.... this part isnt rlly sad its just wild af. i always held my friends hands so obviously that meant i was dating them i suppose?? lmao that shit was just too much. total fuckin strangers telling me my friends were cheating on me... liiiiike who tf are you??  ofc there were the dickheads too who would shove their fingers in my face and ask me to sniff as if theyd actually had gotten any pussy.. tbh highschool was much lighter when it came to bullying. it was a godsend compared to middle school lmao.  tbh the worst part of the movie was the home life. simon being able to come back to a quiet loving home.. and i put en faces on the quiet part.. when i came home i came home to screaming, yelling, cussing, slamming doors to the point they fell off the hinges, punching through doors, threats, and knifes being pulled on each other. my parents called the cops several times on my one brother. it just came from all sides. no one was fucking peaceful in my family. all i ever did was hide in my room with my dog cause even she was too scared to go outside.  that didnt have anything to do with me being gay but.... its another repressed thing so lmao. im pr sure it mixes in with my inability to be able to express my emotions with people. i just bottle everything up and keep quiet bc there was never any room for me to be angry. i always had to be the mediator. even now as an adult when my parents finally have split up i had to play the nice one between the two. i had to keep the peace even as my mom screamed at me and made me cry and refused to apologize for how she treated me... i had to play nice with her bc no one else in my family could act like an adult. this ended up being way longer than intended and tbh i dont expect yall to read this bullshit but it felt nice writing it all out. again i dont have anyone to talk to who can rlly relate to this shit so lmao. even my own gf doesnt seem to rlly get it or want to talk abt it so i just was feeling so pent up and emotional. i had to let it out somewhere.