#im so angry im nervous and anxious im terrified im hungry all the time bc i never eat im tired because i csnt sleep in my house | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

opheliac · 2 years

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it really doesn't feel like there's any safe spaces for me to actually take apart and work through what happened to me as a child and a teenager, and it hurts me so much because i want to get over it but i cannot do it alone.

#i feel not the worst i've ever felt but not as hopeful as i expected to feel at this moment #i feel terrified of the future and what i will be opening up by taking on certain things #i am thinking of him again so much #i had a dream about a friend thats not around anymore and waking up wanting to text her and remembering i can't is just #i miss him so much but not really #i found out one of the most important people in my life is leaving and moving away and i don't know if i'll get to see her again tbh #i don't know if i can confide to others i know i am a lot i know they have their own burdens but i am feeling so alone #my supervisor even had a heart to heart with me last night and i just couldn't open up but i really wanted to #i know i get triggered this time of year because of him and i fucking wish so badly i could see him and talk to him again and get answers #but he would gaslight me like he did last time he will never change no matter how much i wish he would #and i still worry endlessly about the day i find out hes gone because he went too far finally #i wish i was better at confrontation and i wish i felt less alone #i tell myself i will be okay and i believe i will be at some point but it is not easy #i went insane last year and i don't want to kill myself i really don't i don't want to fall to that point its so scary because #i want to live #im so angry im nervous and anxious im terrified im hungry all the time bc i never eat im tired because i csnt sleep in my house #i don't know what to do i don't know how to change for the better im stuck here in this state

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