#im so fucking sick of midwestern politeness

[genericsadboy]

living in the midwest has taught me a lot but mostly that i hate midwesterners and the way they cling to their ideals of social "politeness" and "ettiquette" like nothing else matters.

because when my fiancé's grandma asks "oh, are you using that cane to get attention?" 5 seconds after she sees me, I am expected to bite my tongue and want to continue with the activity instead of immediately wanting to leave & go home, or get angry & scream & cry. Because saying "no, and it's incredibly rude of you to ask & I'm very hurt that you did, and I'm going to leave now because I do not feel comfortable being around you," is considered rude.

i fucking hate it here. and no one stands up for me, not my fiancé, not his father, not his cousins & not myself. because we are expected to want to be here, even if we have to pretend. because we are expected to be "polite" even if that means laying down like a doormat and taking it like we like it.

and sure, my fiancé later makes a facebook post addressing the issue of me & my cane and says to stop asking about it, but it doesn't make me feel better. because it's too late now. it already got said & it already sank in & no one was there to contradict her statements. and they never try to hide their judgemental glances at me.

so now i go without my cane. because did i ever really need it anyway? is the emotional pain really worth not being in physical pain? no.

but at home, in New England, if someone had said that to me, I would have been allowed & expected to retaliate. To be angry. To shout. To tell the other person that they were a clueless fucking bitch with no understanding of what it means to be fucking disabled & that if anyone else asked if i "really needed" my cane, I would beat them with it.

because in New England it is understood that if you're a smartass, or an asshole, or you're fucking rude, you will absoloutely get ripped a new one, very loudly & in public, and people would support you.

fucking midwestern sissies.