#im sorry boys but Jin is the Most Valid one of you

[kokobop-fire]

Baby Bump {Kim Seokjin}

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifts that I use, algo English is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes.

Gender Reveal

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You felt happy that you were pregnant; it wasn't that you had planned, but it didn't come as a surprise either.

You hadn't told anyone, you didn't want to put a hex on it, but with each passing day, it became less possible for you to hide your growing belly.

Your work skirts, blouses, and pants weren't already fitting, and when working in a law firm, you couldn't get to work wearing leggings and a sweatshirt.

The first to notice your stomach was your assistant, a sweet intern who was hoping to start a criminal law career.

You two had come out of a trial when the urge to vomit took over your body; you did not have time to get to the bathroom, the vomit fell on Seohyun's shoes and apart on your blouse, causing it to stick to your body,  he asked if you were pregnant and you just said yes.

Several people in your office already suspected it; you begged him to keep your secret and tell whoever asked you that you were fat; after that day, he always brought you lollipops for nausea.

The second person who noticed your stomach was Jin's mother; she had invited you to dinner. You were wearing a loose dress that entirely hides your stomach; when you two arrived at the Kim residence, Jin's mother wrapped you in a firm hug, she gives you a strange look that she tries to hide with a smile.

When they were already in the middle of dinner was when she commented, "Honey, how much time do you have?" she asks taking a sip of her wine; Jin Chocked on the piece of meat he was eating "I know pregnant women as I lay my eyes on them, and besides you haven't touched your wine."

After that day, Jin's mother called you every day to ask how you were and give you advice, which you appreciated since you did not have a good relationship with your parents, and she treats you like just another daughter.

Jin began to stay in your apartment more, we still did not live together even though he had proposed it to you multiple times over the years, but you preferred your own space where you could take your colleagues to work late.

You liked that Jin stayed in your apartment; you liked seeing him shirtless in your little kitchen. You also liked it when he laid his head on your growing stomach and filled it with kisses.

"Do you think you can carry him for a moment?" Jungkook's fiancée's voice took you out of your thoughts "I need to pee, and I don't think it's a good idea to interrupt them."

Your gaze went to the room where the boys had a heated game of Monopoly. "Sure."

You took little Junghwa in your arms; every day that passes, he looked a little more like his father. "How are you precious?" you gave him a loud kiss on his round cheek, causing the little one to laugh.

"This is a look that I wouldn't mind seeing every day" You turned to see Jin, who was leaning on the kitchen door, a sweatshirt in his hand; in the distance, you could hear the voice of the boys fighting with Jimin. "Put it; your stomach is showing a bit."

He left his sweatshirt on the kitchen island as he took Junghwa into his arms and left you alone in the kitchen.

There was no perfect time for the boys to find out about your pregnancy; most likely, Jin is dying to tell the boys, whom he considers his brothers, and you were preventing him.

Were you selfish with him for wanting to have your pregnancy in private?

Without thinking, you left the kitchen, entering the living room. "You know what? I don't care what people are going to think, screw them, "You practically yelled, attracting everyone's gaze" Im pregnant, that's right, a bun in my oven, and I'm so happy that im doing this with the love of my life."

Everyone was silent, watching you trying to analyze what just happened; you sat next to jin, who received you with a kiss on the lips.

"At least you already have a valid excuse to use your dad jokes," Yoongi broke the silence.

"What are you talking about? I've always had a valid excuse because I've raised all of you," Jin starts bickering with the guys.

"Let's make a toast to (Y / N), to Jin Hyung, and to the new bangtan baby" Hoseok raised a glass of wine, attracting everyone's attention.

You smiled when Jungkook and Jin started fighting when Jungkook called Jin old, and Jin replied that he has no respect for his elders.

[wistfulkitten]

i dream you'd love me again (2) || jk

sadness, guilt, regret. all things jeongguk felt after reading her letter.

genre: angst and fluff? childhood friends, cheating, sisters boyfriend au

pairing: jeongguk x reader

word count: 2.3k

posted: 200518

warnings: longing, infidelity, profanity (kinda), mentions of sex, probably inconsistent punctuation 

a/n: theres probably gonna be minor grammar issues because grammarly is shit and im tired. n e way i tried making this longer, it took me like four hours believe it or not. funni how i can make time for writing but not for my hw. silly me. i tried explained why he did what he did and im sorry if it was crappy. thank u to yall who read the first one. if you guys have any requests or ideas feel free to send me something in my inbox or message me. tyty:))

------------------------------------------------------------

sadness. sadness is what jeongguk felt at the end of ___’s letter. sad that he hurt her enough to the point that she thought of herself as anything but perfect. sad that she doubted his feelings for her. sad that despite everything he put her through, she still loved him and still wished him the best. he always knew she had a big heart. it's one of the many reasons he was drawn to her in the beginning, but it was also one of her biggest weaknesses. her heart was too big for her own good and it scared him. ___ was always too quick to forgive and forget and most of the time it came back to bite her in the ass.

 he saw it time after time when her dad had left. he had had an affair and left his wife and two kids for a younger woman and yet she never got mad or ever blamed her father in contrary to yoona. while yoona never gave her father the time of day after the separation, ___ always made sure to set time aside for him even when he never put in enough effort to interacting with his daughters. he was a pretty crappy father, content with his new life. and though it made her sad that her family was no longer whole and her mother was practically always crying herself to sleep, it made her happy that her dad was happy. she was just about twelve then and still, she never gave into childish grudges. thirteen year old jeongguk found her slightly stupid for this trait but as they grew up, he found it quite endearing. 

guilt. after the sadness had settled in, a great wave of guilt washed over his being. while he was here, newly married with a whole life ahead of him, you were somewhere out there living the life you always wanted sad and lonely. too heartbroken to even enjoy it properly. he didn't deserve it, the comfort and security his new marriage gave him, he didn't deserve it. 

 jeongguk was merely seventeen when he fell in love with a sixteen year old ___ all the while he dated yoona, her older sister. he’d known them practically his whole life and it was such a small town that it was simply impossible for you not to know anyone and everyone. everyone went to the same schools and hardly anyone moved out of the godforsaken town. he and yoona started dating in the sixth grade. much too young to be dating but their families were long time friends and saw it appropriate for the two to start early. so that one day the two families would unite. jeongguk hadn’t minded at first. he was eleven at the time but yoona had always been a good friend. they played together all the time so nothing really changed except for the frequent hugs and occasional kiss on the cheek.

 as they grew older they graduated into more mature ways of affection but it never bothered him too much. though he was friends with yoona, he was always closer to ___. sure at first, he had trouble expressing but afterward never once did they ever feel reserved towards one another, only ever honest with every bit of their being.  while yoona was more reserved and occasionally bratty, ___ was outspoken and adventurous. always willing to try something new even if it wasn't exactly encouraged. she never shied away from speaking her mind and that was something jeongguk always aspired to be. she was everything he wasn’t.  she expressed herself in every possible way. hair color was constantly changing since the start of high school. she pulled off any type of style you could think of. you could pick her out of any crowd in an instant. she painted, wrote poems and songs, sang, played various instruments, even took up photography. she turned any type of art form into a way for people to understand her, every single part of her. she was good at so many things and jeongukk, jeongukk was good at one thing. basketball. yet she never made him feel bad about it, instead she went to every game. cheering him on. she was mesmerizing in every single way. 

 while they had their good moments, yoona had a knack of patronizing him for every fault and imperfection. when they started high school she had tried so hard to be looked at as the perfect couple. she made it a point to show that they ‘never fought’ and were always ‘happy’. he never spent too much time with his friends because ‘every boyfriend had to put his girlfriend first’. this is the exact reason jimin never liked her and why jin always referred to her as a pain in the ass. it was safe to say his friends weren't exactly fond of her either. she was so different from ___ which was good or bad, depending on who you were asking. 

yoona was pretty, though jeongguk would say ___ was prettier. soft features, soft personality, light colors were a constant, skirt never too short, hair never too long. she was a straight line kind of girl like the majority of girls in town. grades never faltering. she always believed in the whole study hard, get a good job, have kids plan everyone stuck to and it was always so suffocating. 

he wanted more out of life, he wanted to explore places, explore himself. he wanted to get to know himself in more ways than one because he had yet to know all of it. all of him. but by the time he was sixteen, jeongguk already had a career to work towards and a girl everyone was so sure would be his wife. it was like his life was a book and everyone but him was the author. he had no control and he started to dread the future. he was running and he knew what would be at the finish line, so he slowed down. while yoona was running full speed, he was jogging at most. he started faking a persona in front of his family and yoona because they simply didn’t get it and they never would. 

when he couldn’t exactly talk to his own girlfriend about his feelings and problems ___ was always there to listen. she was good at that. listening. she never judged, instead always reassuring him that when the time came he’ll know what to do. she had an easygoing way of living and he longed to live like that too. though her mother didn't agree and favored yoona more, she simply took it as it was and cherished what she had for the time being. her love for her mother and sister never faltered even if their love never measured up. ___ had a way of looking at the world that could get her far, far away from here and jeongguk envied that. she said all his feelings were valid and no one should be mad at him for simply feeling. once he had slowed down enough for the once blurry images to become clear, he’d realized that running with yoona was far too tiring and that walking with ___ was far more fulfilling.

 jeongguk was merely seventeen when he fell in love with a sixteen year old ___ and it was the most exhilarating feeling ever. it had started out as just a friend being there for a friend, but one day it turned into something more. they had been out on one for their many infamous nightly drives when they had stopped at a cliff, a pretty view of their small town in sight. pretty lights below and above. the stars were out that night just like them, watching the rest of the world sleep. she’d looked into his eyes, simultaneously looking into his soul. with anyone else, he would’ve felt naked and exposed but with her, he wanted her to see everything and to understand everything. he realized he only ever wanted one person to do that and he wanted to express it in the best way possible. he kissed her. really kissed her and she didn't shy away. he knew it was wrong, they both did, but it felt so good. so good that it felt right. right there, in the back of jeongguk’s first car, clothes disappeared one by one and they wrote love poems into the bareness of their skin. so passionate, so raw that it was impossible to stop afterward. they did it again and again behind closed doors, behind the curtain they drew in the depths of night. it was nothing they ever felt before. when they weren’t tangled within each other they explored as much as the city would let them. talking about anything and everything. no boundaries. 

___ planned on leaving once she graduated, didn’t know where to but the farther the better. she hated it here and so did he. it made jeongguk sick to even think about a life without her in it. he was selfish, he knows. he had them both and it was very clear which of them he loved more yet it saddened him that the one he favored more would ever leave him here. alone. that was until she asked him to come with. she asked him to run away with her. he swears if he wasn't deeply in love with her then, he was now. of course he said yes. running away and seeing the world with his favorite girl was a dream. a dream he truly wanted to become reality. 

they planned it out. jeongguk and yoona graduated and while ___ finished her final year in high school and yoona stared college, jeongguk took a gap year waiting for ___. waiting for their dream while working jobs here and there, financially preparing. he also took a business internship so that his family would get off his back for working instead of college. it was full proof, even the boys knew. though they thought it was risky, they supported them both. they had grown fond of ___.  they’d both work jobs to add onto their savings and the day after ___ graduated they’d leave and never come back. that was the plan, the dream. and yet they never made it.  

regret. he regretted it so much. the faithful day came but jeongguk didn’t. she waited and waited but he couldn’t do it. he watched from afar, luggage in hand. watch her wait. watched her cry when she realized. he cried with her. he was just so damn scared. a coward is what he was. he was scared of the unknown, something he craved so much and yet he was scared of it. and that's exactly how he felt for ___ at that moment. he craved her so much, loved her so much, and yet he was scared of her. scared that her spontaneous ways would one day be the end of them. he thought of yoona, at least with yoona he knew what he was getting. knew exactly where they’d end up. he wanted certainty and that's why he watched her leave. but to his surprise, she didn't leave, not yet. she stayed and waited, waited long enough for everyone else to find out. she was then branded as a little slut that wanted a taste of the forbidden fruit, the one he didn't choose. it was far from the truth but its what everyone believed. and so she left far far away and he didn't chase after her. god did he regret it. every day since that day he’s felt nothing but regret. he was back to putting the mask on trying to appease everyone. surprisingly no one reprimanded him and for that he felt anger, anger he’d only felt towards himself.

___ was the love of his life so it hurt. it hurt to see that she didn’t think of herself like he did. he wasn't aware she felt that way. like she was in yoona’s shadow. to him, it had never been like that because she’d been the one he sought to look at first in every room. it hurt to see she thought so low of herself but you could say he wasn't any better. he was newly married and yet he was miserable. it had only been a few months since he and yoona got married and people were already asking when they were having a baby. straight out of college and things were moving so fast. he was nauseated and lived life in such a lethargic manner. he needed her. 

she said she still loved him. maybe it wasn’t too late. maybe he could turn things around and fulfill the dream they never reached. so he picks up the phone and dialed the number he used to call every night. it was so familiar that he didn’t need to think twice about it.

it rang once, twice, and finally, on the third ring, she answered.

“gukk?”

he cried at the sound of her voice. he missed her so much. after a while, he could hear soft sniffling from the other line.

“can i come home?” he asked, voice so hoarse it hurt.

“you are home… aren’t you?” voice strained, sounding confused.

“no no, you’re my home ___. i need to come home. “

with that jeongguk couldn’t help but cry harder.

“shhh shhh gukk, it's ok. everything will be ok.” she cooed familiar words he hadn’t heard in a while. “ok, come home. come to me baby.”

he booked the first flight he could as soon as she said where she was and packed up as much as he could. he was gonna stop living this lie and start living for himself. something he should have done four years ago. and in a few hours, that’s exactly what he was gonna do. live the life he dreamed of with her, no holding back. he needed to stop being afraid. he was on his way, without a care in the world. jeongguk loved ___ and ___ loved him. that's all that mattered.

he’d send the divorce papers over tomorrow.

[wandering-bitch]

Annotations on Falling in Love with Love (Again) pt 1

Falling in Love is my 3zun Cinderella/Qin Su Solidarity Fixit fic. It’s got some dumb angst, but i promise every ch with Angst (tm) has at least some soft gentle fluff with it. 

It’s structured like cinderella (servant gets surprised with the clothes + disguise for the ball, falls in love, runs away but leaves behind a trinket, gets found out later and happily ever after), but really it’s About recognizing the growth you’ve gone through, and uh. falling in love again. It’s also, to a lesser degree, about how important Qin Su is.

Notes on writing the first third of this below the cut

Every chapter title is a riff on a song lyric from Rogers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella (which you might remember as the Brandy and Whitney Houston movie from 1997). Title is “falling in love with love,” the BITCHIN ballad from the stepmother

i keep stumbling on cinderella aus from parts of 3zun and i never like them bc im picky so i started thinking about this and now im HERE, writing thousands of words and thinking about social shit

in this house we love qin su, by the way

Don’t Believe in Sensible Rules

this chapter was called “Enter the Fairy Godmother” in my outline

writing this fic made me like jin zixuan pfffff

look im not saying that qin su is fucking vital BUT

having qin su know that she’s meng yao’s sister means that he has someone who can empathize with wanting but hating jin guangshan’s attention, and so someone who can remind him that jin guangshan’s respect isn’t worth the effort

aka qin su being actively meng yao’s sister fucking stops him from making terrible choices aka this is my fixit.

originally i just was hand-waving away “it’s a good au bc i said so” but as i built the timeline more, i realized that it all comes down to qin su

which is valid!! because yeah, the middle and end of the fic are about qin su

anyway back to this first chapter

i know in canon qin su is probably younger than meng yao but counterpoint i wanted her to have more respect built into her role

what’s up with meng yao’s makeup? it’s a combination of opera + tang dynasty makeup!! 

you know that promo image of zzj playing an opera performer for a movie next year???  this one??? it’s basically this but on crack

if you’re not thinking about that promo image twice a week then i highly recommend u do it bc it certainly brings me joy and serotonin 

oh hmmm meng yao is wearing a fancy emotionally important accessory??? i wonder what might happen

You’ll Never Know a Finer Night

”a lovely night, a lovely night/ a finer night you know you’ll never see”

qin su + meng yao rights!!!

qin su + meng yao rights!!!

the mengyin han sect is something my spouse came up with for their Nie Parents fic that they’re never gonna write.

you should bug @isimplydonotvibewithjgy to write it. why???

it’s about happy healthy nie parent polyamory!!! 

nie huaisang is named in part after nie mingjue’s mother’s sword

meng yao is only a little bit kidding about stealing a baby for qin su. qin su, in turn, is only a little bit kidding about stealing a baby for meng yao

meng yao fucking with wangxian is very important to me, a bitch

Back In the Past, lan xichen wasn’t so much Jealous as he was frustrated with himself for not saying anything for so long (so long was barely a few months)

“second daughter of a third rate sect” is the type of dumb meng yao shit i love

qin!!!! su!!!! rights!!!!!!!

Most Entrancing Sight Of All

from “the greatest love,” the first song from the brandy version

i actually hate this song whoops

i lov every time i get to write meng yao being clever

it is very convenient for me that im writing the entire fic from his perspective

it’s sword content!!!! hooray!!!!

i looked up so much sword dancing for this it made me so happy

swords!!! good!!!

i do wish i had been better at figuring out ways meng yao could eat li bolin alive, but i wrote it, it’s done, im never editing it again

sword! content!!

The Sweet Invention of a Lover’s Dream

AWWW YEAH my favorite chapter because the xiyao troll showed up and said “oh so meng yao’s a selfish little slut now then” and i think about that every fucking day

the title is from “do i love you” 

the breakup was hard to write bc like. neither’s in the Wrong, sometimes u just don’t fit, and that sucks

like it wasn’t Hard emotionally, but it was hard to balance properly

“Eat Wen Xu Alive” -- meng yao

in my early draft, meng yao + qin su had an agreement to check on each other every hour. i scrapped that but u can see 

“time to meddle”

i had fun learning about azaleas + azalea poisoning

i spent SO LONG trying to decide who meng yao would pin the poisoning on but settled on the li sect being complicit in wen imperialism

nie mingjue is here because nie huaisang whined about it. lan xichen is here because he wants to date someone to move on from meng yao

what’s that? he’s dating nie mingjue? that’s not enough to move on? no, actually, it isn’t

sorry lan xichen the way to move on is just time, not dating

to be clear it’s not that lan xichen is greedy or nie mingjue Isn’t Enough, it’s just that there’s an ache still in lxc’s heart

(there’s an ache still in nmj’s heart)

we’ll actually go over all of this in an auxiliary chapter where nmj + lxc snuggle in the middle of the night

healthy polyamory rights

in case it’s somehow not Obvious, the song lxc is distracted by reminds him of meng yao. 

lxc is one hundred percent that friend who doesn’t let u say anything slightly mean about urself

my one ex specifically wouldn’t let me say i wasn’t smart enough to talk about a sociological issue/socialism thing. it was so sweet honestly

like she would let me not have an opinion but i couldn’t say i wasn’t smart enough

lxc is so proud of himself for that “tell me what this song is about” line and he SHOULD be. it WAS sexy it WAS polite it WAS a good line!!!

im not tooting my own horn im just talking about lxc being a polite, sexy hunk

never forget: so meng yao is just a selfish little slut then lol ok

come back next time for ch 5-8 where we see boys being cute and together and also where qin su gets many more rights

[keruworld]

Why im not liking Zero One

Sorry I just have to take this opinion out!! And this will be large... please, excuse me!

Now that Zero One is in his second quarter... we can clearly say that the series is not beginning and see more or less what to expect.

I wanted to do ep reviews as i did with Build... but i stopped in ep 3 or 4 (i dont remember). Because im not enjoying so much the series. Is curious how i see almost everyone saying how great it is... but i dont see that greatness. Once again may be this is just a matter of like and preferences, and ofcourse they are valid... but i see in Zero One mistakes that no other KR series have done. In fact i think Zio was a better show than Zero One... and Zio definitely had alot of inconsistences and mistakes, so saying this... is alot. We have begun the Reiwa era of Kamen Rider series with the wrong foot!

Before some one excuse Zero One with the comment that is a kids show... in fact the beauty of Tokusatsu shows is that they are aimed for kids (generaly), but adults can watch it and enjoying like a kid does. I think the most important part of a toku show is the message, no matter if they are made for sale toys, they have beautiful messages, they teach awesome values to kids and adults. Now probably this is the most big mistake that Zero One is doing... giving a wrong message. And may be this is just my perception but let me explain the mistakes that im seeing in Zero One that are conected to the message:

a) Unknow protagonist: I exposed this before... but i will say it again, where and with who Aruto lives? and why is so important to know this? There are stories that this is not important but in a plot like Zero One’s, it’s important... and alot because the series is about his family bussiness. To this point of the series... ep 16-17 are alot of tiny but significant things of Aruto that are unknow. Basic things that makes us conect with the protagonist like a place called home?, friends? people that he interacted before? No matter if all the important plot revelation will be about Aruto’s story... to this point... not knowing our protagonist is a big NO. I can’t connect with Aruto, can’t like him because i not know him.

b) Bad use of the cast: Zero One forcibly want to keep the premise that there are three bands: Hiden, AIMS and Metsuborinjai (ZAIA). The show keep saying to us: Aruto only have Izu and only Izu (even the opening show us this). Fuwa is alone wolf. Yua could be a team with Fuwa sometimes. And there are the bad guys that are working for the big evil.

Aruto don’t question anything, all the powerups are with out a lessons, everything is given to him in a silver tray by Izu. Izu is just a cute robo girl that does everything for the protagonist (a perfect fabricated waifu for boys). Fuwa is your hot blooded character that will not change no matter what?! (very manly). Yua is the rude and inteligent girl that we don’t know anything about (because she was created only for be the waifu for the girls). Jin and Horobi are the cool and the most interesting villains with potential that will be set aside by a white Kuroto.

All this makes the cast don’t interact in the episodes (even in Zio they interacted more) and when they do... are just for explain things. The only good interaction was between Metsuborinjai... because they felt like a family, they had a bond may be artificial but Jin and Horobi were father and son. Jin was a child that didnt knew anything. And they were left aside by a plain character that we didnt knew since the beginning.

I keep saying: Zero One needs more cast. Because even if Aruto have Izu... i feel he doesnt have a friend. Izu dont make Aruto character shine, she just make Aruto character worse. (sorry Izu, is not you, are the people who created you).

c) Message / Humans or humangears: Where are the humans in Zero One? I don’t see the humans, i see more humangears than humans! Even if Aruto keep saying that he want a future where humans and humangers coexist in armony is obvious his preference to humangears... In a society like japan this message will not have a problem? I mean... will you love more a machine than a human? In fact is more easy to love a machine than a human. But it’s not this a problem in japan (and not only in japan) already? Loving more a 2D character than real people. This kind of message and problem is far better explained and told in Astroboy and other series and movies. So yes...i feel Zero One is moving away from humanity and i don’t like that specially in a kids show. I bet that kids prefer Izu to Yua, because Izu will make them the homework in seconds. X,D (you see the problem here with the message? and here im not talking how this have awakened the obscure side of the fandom).

I could add that i dont like the suits and that the cgi looks really cheap but this is just only my perception. (suits are always well made, but Zero One suits desing is not my liking).

Now... Zero One have not ended, it have more or less 30 eps left. 30 episodes where Aruto can shine and think by himself, where Yua leave Gai side and made a full team with Fuwa, where Fuwa gives up the Aruto jokes and befriend with him, where Izu can talk like normal people and be friend with another humans and humangears. Where Jin and Horobi are reprogramed and are like father and son (let me dream). About Gai... i dont expect anything about him... because, as almost everything is Zero One, we don’t know much about him, except that he is older and looks younger and he knew Aruto’s grandpa.

I really hope that Zero One get better, at least with character interaction. Even if the story is not good, characters can save the show (as Zio or Ryusoulger).

[r4bbitdragon]

aruto for the character ask meme?

fiiiiinally finishes this

favorite thing about them- hot damn does this boy love robots and i do too. a relatable character trait

least favorite thing about them- my dear sweet boy. my absolute pal. while being brainless is also a charm point. occasionally. could you try thinking.

favorite line- listen i just. i just loved aruto trying to make izu a remedy for her cold before thinking to through. a sweet boy. also whenever he’s able to use his joke skills to just absolutely roast someone.

brOTP- him and izu really are an iconic comedic duo

OTP- please... a soft fuwa/aruto indulgence... this is all i ever ask...

nOTP- all gai content is creepy as hell keep the 45 year old Away

random headcanon- he spends awhile writing thank you letters to all the humagear who helped make the friendship sword :)

unpopular opinion- some think him asking jin about why he hurt izu was ‘insensitive’ or something but like. one) he actually wasn’t close enough to hear what went down before that and two) NO THE QUESTION IS STILL VALID, THE CONTRADICTION IT POINTS OUT IS STILL JUST AS THERE, ESPECIALLY SO IF JIN CAN’T PUT THE EMOTIONAL DOTS TOGETHER TO FORM ANY ACTUAL COUNTERARGUMENT

oh also he’s ruder then most people give him credit it for

song i associate with them- his own. theme music. im sorry i don’t listen to enough music im hitting a real wall here.

favorite picture of them- this is cheating. i know it is. but.

[hoyoungy]

001. Sanctioned | Jun

genre: comedy, mentions of sex, college/roommates au, friends with benefits au | jun x fem!reader summary: dating does not come easy to apartment 417. sex is even worse. well, maybe it was just you. it seems like everyone you know is able to get laid, get a date - hell, even a hug! you look sad and desperate as you wallow in your dry spell, so when your roommates soonyoung, mingyu, and minghao try to be your wingmen on a saturday night, you end up signing a no-strings-attached contract with a very familiar, but very much willing face word count: 2839 a/n: .... i know i literally just said i didn’t want to post this soon...... yet here i am..... im sorry..... warnings include swearing, alcohol, mentions of sex, dialogue-heavy, and platonic relationships

part 002

“I think I’m gonna be celibate,” you said as you plopped down on the couch next to Soonyoung. You just wasted the past couple of days talking to this guy on Tinder and you just found out he was about to graduate… high school. You would think college would be the prime time for you to find a hookup through a free dating app, but boy, were you wrong. Probably because people your age were being competent adults who didn’t need an app to talk to someone.

“You said that last week,” Soonyoung said, not looking up from his textbook on the coffee table. He knew this routine all too well.

“But I mean it this time.”

“Didn’t you also say that last week?”

“I’m sure I did.”

“Did something happen to that Felix guy on Tinder?”

“He was so young it felt illegal,” you groaned.

“Like, Chan young?”

“Younger.”

“Jesus Christ, you cradle-robber.”

“Shut up, I know, ok! It’s not my fault, he totally lied about his age!”

“I don’t know, _____, you’re not getting any younger. Who knows, maybe young guys could be your new thing? It seems to be working. I know a few people! For example, Mingyu -”

“Soonyoung, I will not begin my cradle-robbing career with Mingyu, of all people.”

“Did someone say cradle-robbing and my name in the same sentence? Is there an older woman in need?” you both heard Mingyu say as he walked through the front door. He tossed his backpack near the collection of shoes in the corner before grabbing a snack in the kitchen like he always did when he came home.

“Ugh, I can just feel my panties drying up every time you speak.”

“Words can hurt, you know.”

“Are we making fun of Mingyu again?” Minghao said as he left his room to join you all.

“I literally just got home, can’t I have a snack first?” he pouted.

“Guys, it’s 4:00 PM, which means it’s my hour to complain! If we aren’t going to follow the schedule, then this is anarchy.” You referred to the poorly-drawn clock on the dry erase board that hung in the kitchen. Every hour that struck 11 or 4, AM or PM, was your time to complain about anything and everything, and the rest of the time was divided amongst the rest of the roommates. Your complaining got so out of hand that the boys decided to punish you by giving you set hours in a day and you were sure to use up every damn second.

“Sorry, Mingyu just makes it so easy,” Minghao snorted. “So what’s up?”

“What’s up is that I haven’t had sex in six months.”

“I am eating, you penis-repellant,” Mingyu scolded with cheeks full of food.

“My God, six months? I thought six days was bad… What happened with that Sungjin guy you brought home a couple of months ago?” Soonyoung asked.

“He ended up, um… Crying…”

“About what!?”

“Bro, I don’t even know, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yikes, ok. How about Sehun from Accounting?”

“Passed out when we got home.”

“Jin from the bar?”

“Strictly a cuddler.”

“Uh, Gymhead Youngjae?”

“Pulled a muscle before the foreplay started.”

“Steven the exchange student!?”

“See, it was going well, but the language barrier was kind of a big thing -”

“Good lord, you really are a penis repellant,” Soonyoung sighed. “You’re hopeless.”

“Couldn’t even get with Steven the exchange student,” Mingyu tisked.

“Guys, what do I do ~ !?” You threw your face into the nearest pillow. The years of your youth were dwindling down with each passing second and all you wanted to do was to have some fun, but these past six months have amounted to nothing.

You couldn’t blame anyone else but yourself, though. You’ve been single your entire college career - like, never had a boyfriend, but have gone on dates and had hookups and it was all by choice. These were the best, stressless four years of your entire life. You didn’t wanted to bother with your never-ending fear of commitment, but it was starting to take a real toll on your needs. If you just sucked it up and got a boyfriend, you wouldn’t be looking like a desperate mess.

“Let’s go out tonight,” Mingyu suggested. “It’s a Saturday night, midterms are over, we’ll be each other’s wingman, and I heard Jun’s throwing a banger ~”

“Jun!?” you screeched. “Isn’t his place like, super nice?”

“Yeah, his rent is ridiculous, but that’s how all foreign exchange students are.” All at once, you, Mingyu, and Soonyoung glared at a cowering Minghao who wore his Gucci slip ons. “C’mon, we’ll get all gussied up and have fun and - oh! Let’s all match!”

“Why…”

“Uh, because we’re a squad? Duh?”

“Fine, but I only wear black when I go out. It’s slimming.”

“Agreed, it makes my cheeks look not as squishy,” Soonyoung said.

“And it makes my orange hair stick out,” Minghao nodded.

“Ugh, you’re all so boring. Black it is. And we’re leaving promptly at 10:30 PM or his infamous concoction of Moon Juice, trademark is gonna run out.”

“Guys, can you be real with me and judge my outfit?” you asked as you stepped out from your room. The other three were ready to go, sitting in the living room. They all looked in your direction with wide eyes when you came out in an all black outfit that looked too hard to breathe in. “Be honest, does this scream ‘I’m desperate, please have sex with me’ ?”

“Your shoes sort of whisper ‘I’m both desperate and old’, but the outfit is yelling into a microphone saying ‘I am ready to drop to my knees any second’,” Minghao nodded as a matter-of-factly.

“That has to be the nicest thing you have ever said to me,” you smiled. “Ok, let’s get drunk and get laid ~!”

“We sound so sad right now,” Soonyoung sighed, closing the door behind him.

“So what’s the game plan? Is there an outline? An itinerary? Syllabus, maybe? Examples from previous students last semester?”

“All I know is Mingyu’s in charge.”

“Hell yeah, I’m in charge. And the plan is that there is no plan.”

“What, how could there be no plan?” you asked.

“You can’t make plans to get laid, that takes the whole fun out of the equation! See, we’re probably going to be, like, the best looking people there, and that means we have to be the ones playing hard to get.”

“That’s the exact opposite of what I’m trying to be.”

“Lucky for you, you won’t have to try hard because you kind of make yourself hard to get already when your standards are impossibly high.”

“They are not impossibly high!”

“Didn’t you turn down a guy because he wore man-flops?”

“Yeah, but -”

“And that one guy who wore really low v-necks?” Minghao chimed.

“Ok, well -”

“Can’t forget the one guy in our Stats class who wrote with 1.0 mm pens and pencils -”

“That is a completely valid reason, Soonyoung, and you know it! No one older than ten writes with such a large diameter!” you pouted. “Ok, I get it, I’m hard to get, but why is it when I’m trying to be easy to get, I still end up in bed alone?”

“Because you go for the guys who are also naturally hard to get! That’s the number one biggest mistake we beautiful people make all the time.”

“So you want her to bring home some ugly dude whose standards are as low as a sex doll with a fleshlight installed?” Soonyoung snorted.

“No, she just has to learn to play smart and pick out the guys like us - guys that only look like we’re playing hard to get.”

“Translation, Mingyu wants to have sex with you.”

“That is also true, but we signed a No Conflict-of-Interest contract, so I begrudgingly abide by it.”

“I almost forgot about that one. We have way too many contracts.” You sighed as the four of you arrived in front of Jun’s apartment - no, loft. If it was on the very top floor of a high-rise, you’d consider it a penthouse, it was that big. The door was tall and wide, made of some steel maybe? Iron? It was the most beautiful door you’ve ever seen, like it came out of a dream apartment catalog under the industrial themed homes, right next to the rustic section.

When Mingyu opened the door, there were so many people inside that even Mingyu couldn’t see past two rows of people.

“What the hell, it’s only 10:45! Why are there so many people here!? Minghao, call him ~!”

“Way ahead of you - yah, Hyung, we just got here!” Minghao yelled over the phone. “We’ll try to get to the windows. Bring four cups of juice while you’re at it!”

The four of you squeezed through the tight crowd with Minghao taking the lead. You took the opportunity to look at potential targets, but there was way too much going on to even focus on that. Jun had lots of plants and neon signs in his loft that you felt like you were in a music video set in California by some Soundcloud DJ. They really added to his cool, rich boy ambiance, except for the one guy taking a piss in one of the plant pots.

“See anyone you like yet?” Soonyoung asked once the four of you found an empty space to chill out in.

“I feel like I don’t eat enough avocado toast and arugula to get with anyone here…” you groaned. “Also, I don’t think my prescription is bad enough? This isn’t the pregame to a poetry slam, is it?”

“Why do you always ruin everything?”

“It’s the cynicism in me.”

“Found you!” Jun slipped through in front of you pinching four red cups filled with pink liquid. After handing each of you a cup, he casually wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pressing his cheek to the top of your head. “Ah, I missed you guys ~”

“Are you drunk?” you teased.

“No, I’m drunk.”

“Good lord…”

“The host isn’t supposed to be drunk!” Minghao scolded. “You do this every time and regret it because your place gets trashed!”

“It’s fine, I scheduled the cleaning crew to come at six tomorrow morning!” Jun giggled, squeezing your shoulders tightly. “I am having a great time, are you having a great time, _____?”

“I always have a good time drinking Moon Juice.” The drink touched your lips and you immediately cringed, regretting taking such a large gulp. It tasted much stronger than the first time he ever made it when you all were eighteen - was it supposed to burn this badly going down? “Holy shit, Jun, what’s in this!?”

“Lots of Everclear. I thought the new recipe was appropriate.”

“Good, she needs more of it.” Mingyu tilted your cup upwards, forcing you to gulp more down. “C’mon, you need more liquid courage before we start.”

“Start what?”

“Our hunt. It’ll end up being a scavenge if we continue at this pace.”

“Ooh, a hunt! I want to participate,”

“Wow, ok I am definitely feeling it,” you muttered, trying not to spit out the liquid heat. “I am feel - ing it…”

“Good, now go talk to that guy over there who’s been eyeing you since you walked in.” Mingyu gently shoved you towards a shy-smiling stranger across the way and you could feel your flirty instincts mix with the alcohol.

Let the hunt begin.

“Four hours,” you sighed. “I flirted for four hours and I got nothing!”

You were the only one left in Jun’s apartment, ‘helping’ him by drinking the rest of the Moon Juice so that it doesn’t go to waste and fueling your self-hatred. The guys left earlier, walking away much luckier than you and leaving you here to rot in your misery. Jun sat beside you with a cup of his own in his hands, listening to you rant for the last thirty minutes.

“I mean, I know I’m not the sexiest woman in the world, but I like to think that I’m kind of up there on the looker-scale, you know? Am I wrong, Jun?”

“Honestly, those guys are blind, _____.”

“Thank you!”

“Both theoretically and literally. Some of them are legally blind.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah…”

You sighed loudly again, kicking an empty cup that was on the floor in front of your feet. You tilted your head roughly to face Jun who only scowled at the mess everyone made. It was probably the alcohol talking, but in all your years of knowing Jun, you never previously appreciated how handsome he was as much as you are right now. His bone structure was so perfect and skin so clear and hair ends so kept together that you hated him for it.

“Stop looking at me like that, it’s embarrassing,” he chuckled.

“You’re just so damn perfect and I hate you.”

“See, if you were this charming earlier, you might have had someone to take home tonight! Why are you trying so hard, anyways?”

“Don’t laugh at me, ok?”

“No promises.”

“I haven’t had sex in six months.”

“Oh… Wow…” he whistled quietly, holding in his laugh. “I’m so sorry… Are you ok? Is there, like, something wrong with you, like did you have surgery or something -”

“Don’t pity me!”

“I’m not, I’m genuinely concerned for you! Do you at least play with yourself -”

“Shut up, for the love of God, don’t finish that sentence -”

“- or use toys, because if you don’t, I know a guy that sells customized ones and the quality is amazing -”

“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to scream.”

“Ok, ok,” he grinned. He playfully ruffled your hair when you kept the pout on your face. “Glad to see you’re still the same cute orientation leader that I met my sophomore year.”

“And you’re still the same reckless foreign exchange student that breaks the hearts of hundreds of young girls.”

“You flatter me too much.”

In the span of that short banter you and Jun shared, the two of you ended up with little-to-no space between each other on the couch. Your head fit comfortably on his broad shoulder and his soft hand felt warm as it rubbed your bare inner-thigh affectionately. His hand travelled a little higher with each stroke, sparking your interest and your core.

You knew exactly where this was headed.

“So, Jun…” you began awkwardly. “You wanna, like… you know ~”

“Good lord, is this how you’ve been asking guys to have sex with you this whole time!?” he asked. “No wonder they’ve all said no.”

“No…! I was totally cool about it when I asked…!”

“Prove it,” Jun challenged, sitting up to face you properly. “Show me how you ask to have sex.”

“Can’t you just be normal and carry me bridal-style to your room and, like, ruin me? Why do you have to test me!?”

“C’mon, _____, you know I’m not normal. I’m also trying to help you for future encounters. What if this is where your problem starts! Are you willing to risk that possibility?” Jun chuckled as you vigorously shook your head. “Good. Now show me how you ask, or we’re not doing it.”

“Ugh, you’re so weird!” you groaned, preparing your game-face reluctantly. “Ok, fine. Jun, will you ~ do the… do… with me.”

“Oh, my God, you are hopeless.”

“I am completely hopeless!” You buried your crying face into Jun’s strong, toned, and unexplainably exposed chest as he rubbed your back sincerely. “I need help!”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Jun, you need to help me.”

“Absolutely not -”

“Please, you are literally my only hope! Everyone in the apartment has done nothing to help me!”

“I’d much rather take your previous offer by just having sex with you instead,” he declared

“I mean, I assumed we were doing that anyways, but it’s not like you and I are going to keep it up after that.”

“Why not?” Jun’s smirking face leaned in close to yours so that the tips of your noses almost touched. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Are you proposing what I think you’re proposing? Because I don’t play games when it comes to deals, especially of this kind, Jun, so you better not be joking -”

“Holy shit, _____, you talk too much.”

After cutting you off, he aggressively pressed his lips to yours. He showed you that he wasn’t going to hold back tonight by shoving his tongue in your mouth and crawling on top of you on the couch. Even though you saw this coming, it didn’t stop your skin from feeling like fire wherever his hands touched you. The both of you were definitely still drunk and you both knew it when your hands messily explored each other’s bodies and struggled to remove each other’s clothes.

“Should we go to your room?” you asked breathlessly as Jun nibbled on the sensitive spot on your neck.

“Mm, no,” he muttered between kisses. “I don’t think I could wait that long.”

[chae-peachwon]

So I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile and I wanted to wait until I got home so I could be in the comfort of my house. But basically on Friday I had a “mental breakdown” about Namjoon and BTS as a whole and how much they have changed my life. I think this is gonna be pretty lengthy so I’m putting a read more

So this past Friday my friend and I were making a drive to our friends for our yearly Christmas party, which was about 4-5 hours (in reality it should’ve been about 2 1/2 but traffic was ass so). I might be saying stuff out of order, but tbh it was an emotional ride so I’ll be surprised if I remember every little thing that happened. Her sister is a fan of BTS so my friend has some knowledge about them. She knows a few songs (she likes Fake Love) and knows some of the members (she likes Jin lol). So we got on the topic of BTS and she asked me to play Fake Love since that’s the one she knows the most. So I asked her if I could play a few more of their songs and she said “go ahead!”. So I played Mic Drop, Epiphany, Euphoria, Boy With Luv, etc etc etc and then I said “Oh, I’m gonna play Spring Day because it’s one of my fav songs by them and the mv always makes me cry.” She laughed and said “Okay!” So I put on Spring Day and the part I always cry at is at the end when they’re all walking on the field and harmonizing and it goes all slo-mo (you know which part I mean) and I also explained that only the mv version has it but the songs keeps going after they finish singing and it’s just harmonization. I was also trying to explain the meaning of the song to her. So the song finished and then Answer: Love Myself started playing and immediately I was like “This song always makes me cry because of the concert.” And she asked for me to elaborate. I’m not sure if I’ve ever said it on here but I saw BTS last year in Texas and that song was the last one on their setlist.  So I went on and basically said something along the lines of: “Okay so last year was my second time seeing BTS and it was the end of the concert so obviously it was sad and emotional but idk what happened at the end but just hearing that song live really got me, as a warning I’m probably gonna start crying because it was for real extremely emotional for me. XX(friends name) in the chorus they sing ‘You’ve shown me I have reasons, I should love myself.’ and it was hearing that, seeing them right in front of me, and realizing this was the end of the concert that I just started crying. (at this point I was actually crying lmao)  It was like a wave of emotions just completely overtook me and the tears were just flowing out. Girls around me were crying too. I remember looking around the whole arena and then back up at them that the tears just started falling harder. XX I started crying out for the members, namely Namjoon and Taehyung because they were the closest to me at the moment (I was in the pit). And I reached my hand out to them like that would actually do something, and I just kept sobbing and sobbing and sobbing. At this point my friend noticed I was crying and was trying to comfort me. But it was so....I can’t even explain it. It was thinking that this might be the last time I ever see them live and also thinking about how much they’ve done for me.” My friend was trying to comfort me but she couldn’t do much because she was driving lol but she urged me to go on. I told her that I am so dedicated to these boys that I am 100% getting a tattoo for them. I know at one point earlier she asked me who else I love as much as BTS and I said Day6 and The Rose ( I also want tattoos for them) and she also asked me if they were all drowning who would I save. I said I couldn’t pick and she said “you would let them all drown??” and I said “XX I would drown with them”. But in the end I told her that BTS is my top top group.  I think it turned to her asking me if I could hang out with one of them who would it be and without hesitation I said Namjoon. She asked me if Jin was my favorite, why didn’t I say him. And then this is where the true mental breakdown happened. I’ll try to remember exactly what I said but no promises haha (also I was already crying from Love Myself but this convo just intensified it) “XX, you don’t understand how much I love Namjoon. Like it’s a different kind of love that I have for Jin. Jin will always and forever be my baby and my number 1 boy and will always be the first man I’ve ever fallen in love with, but with Namjoon...it’s a different kind of love. I love and respect him so fucking much, like he has gone through so much as a leader, as a person, and just in general. In the beginning he was the least liked member, which is so crazy right? Because he’s so loved now but it took him so long to get there. You remember what a fansign is right? Well this girl went to one and when she got to him, she said she got his photocard and he said “I’m so sorry”. Like really? He actually said that, and that just makes me so sad because he’s so amazing as a person and artist and he’s so smart and wonderful and creative and he does so so much for BTS.  Namjoon /hated/ himself for so long and he has a song called ‘Reflection’ and one of the lines is ‘I wish I could love myself”. (at this point I was sobbing) And XX it breaks my heart every time I listen to that song. XX I love him so so much that if I could have ANYTHING in the world (im actually tearing up rn as I write this) it would to be able to tell him just exactly how much he means to me and how proud I am and how much I respect him. (At this point in the convo I choked up on saying that out loud). There was this video I saw of one of their concerts and I think it was towards the end when the cameras were going on each of the members and it came onto Namjoon and everybody was cheering so loud for him and he looked so confused! Until he turned around and realized that everyone was yelling and screaming for /him/. And XX he got so embarrassed and shy and that was the exact video and moment that I realized I have this intense love that I have for him. And I think that’s when he realized that he is really loved too. I actually don’t remember if it was before or after that video but in one of his songs he changed his line to “I do love myself.”  Before I would always be like I love Namjoon so much yaaayyy, but I never really considered him a bias wrecker? But that video was the moment I knew that I have a different kind of love for him. And I don’t consider him a bias wrecker because Jin will forever be on top haha.” Guys when I say I was crying....I was CRYING. My friend was trying so hard to make me feel better and she was like “Please don’t cry, you’re gonna start making me cry.”  And I was like  “XX, these boys have honestly and truly changed my life and have helped me through so much. I discovered them through a friend and it was my first year of college and they have truly done so much for me. (this is where the convo got pretty dark). XX they have helped me through my happy days, my sad days, my depressed days and my truly lowest point days. When I say they have saved my life I honest to god fucking mean it. I promise you that if I never got into them, I would not be here today. I would’ve been gone long ago and I know it sounds dumb but they are the reason that I am still here today. (im crying rn typing this) The others( our other friends) know that I’m depressed but I don’t think they truly know to what extent. They’ve helped me through so much and that it’s okay to struggle and to not know what you want to do with your life. XX I’m still in the process of learning to love myself and for who I am and a bunch of other things” And at this point I was just trying to stop myself from crying because we were almost to our destination and I had to cleanup and stuff but the tears would not stop. I’ve always talked to my friends and sometimes on here about how much I love Namjoon and BTS but I’ve never really gone into depth about it, let alone said it out loud. That day in the car was the first time I truly poured my heart and feelings out about them. And even while writing this down I got teary eyed a couple of times and cried once. I’ve been a fan of BTS since 2015 and it has been a wild ride of emotions. They have taught and shown me so much and I can only dream about telling them how they have changed my life for the better. I’m not really sure why I wanted to write this down but I guess I wanted other fans to know that you are not “dumb” or “silly” or “over dramatic” for saying that a kpop group has helped your life. If you find that one special thing that makes you happy, then who the fuck cares what it is. As long as you know that that makes you happy and makes you forget about the world, then you hold onto that for as long as you need to.  I’m not gonna sit here and say that my depression is cured and that my life is sunshine and rainbows and that everything is perfect now. I still have my off days, my low days, my days where I really truly just want to say goodbye to everything. But BTS, among other groups, have helped me realize that not everything in the world is bad, that you can have your happy moments in life that make you say “Maybe life isn’t so bad after all.”. All in all, I just wanted to share my feelings and let other people know that you’re not alone for thinking like this. And I know I’m not the only one who says that kpop has been that /thing/ for people.  Anyway I guess this is all I have to say about this, I know I have more but I have too many emotions running through me right now lol.  Your feelings are valid guys, and don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise.