risqué; chapter 4 | jjk (m)
➵ summary; in which Jungkook and you are facing the consequences of sneaking around behind your father’s back. Now Jungkook is left with a decision to make: forget about everything he had with you and move on or let himself be truly happy even though it means risking everything he’s worked so hard for?
➵ series masterlist · playlist · risqué tag · taglist
pairing; jungkook x f. reader
word count; 21.6k
content; age gap au, angst/fluff/smut, #pain
warnings; swearing, mild vi*lence, mentions of bl*od, making out/grinding, bre*st play, or*l (f. receiving), unprotected s*x, praise/d*rty talk, cr*ampie, absolute heartbreak :( it’s time to #cancelcami y’all
a/n; ITS FINALLY HERE Y’ALL !!!! omg i cant believe this is happening 😭😭 please please PLEASE give it a lot of love and tell me your thoughts on this turn of events! anything from comments to asks to reblogs are greatly appreciated <3 tysm for reading and for being patient with me for a whole ass year :’) enjoy!!!!!
The word leaves you in a faint voice as if the air was knocked out of you. Jungkook feels himself freeze in his spot, his hand instantly letting go of yours in pure instinct at the sight of his boss – your father.
The swear escapes Jungkook’s lips before he can prevent it, the thundering beating of his heart pounding in his ears as he closes his eyes for a brief moment – this is it. He should’ve known better than to waltz around the office while holding your hand and kissing you as if the whole world knew about you and him. No one at the company knows about his relationship with you and for good reason – the curious gazes from the few employees who stayed back during lunch are watching as your father grits out a demand before stalking off towards his office, fists clenched by his side.
“My office. Both of you. Now.”
Jungkook glances at you only to receive a wary look from you. He copies your expression, letting out a faint, defeated sigh before following his boss to his office.
Your presence is warm next to him as you walk side by side, your hand brushing his. He feels you grab his hand, causing him to look over at you. You give his hand a squeeze as if to say everything will be fine. There’s a weak tug of the corner of his mouth as he squeezes your hand in return before dropping it again. The nervous breath of air you let out doesn’t go unnoticed by him as he lets you enter your father’s office first.
The sound of the door being closed after him reaches his ears, causing him to turn around to face his boss – ready and willing to take whatever consequence he’ll be met with. Before Jungkook can register what’s about to happen, a closed fist connects with his face, a sharp pain shooting through his jaw as a shocked shriek emits from your lips. He groans in pain as he stumbles back a few feet. He’s too shocked to say anything as he reaches up to wipe his bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. He glances at his thumb, the sight of bright red blood staining the skin.
“Oh my god!”
The words are blurted by you as you rush to Jungkook’s side, hands cupping his face to take a look at his freshly busted lip. Your father looks rather pleased with himself as he steps back, fixing the sleeves and panels of his blazer. He watches with an unsatisfied glare as his daughter tends to Jungkook’s bleeding lip.
Jungkook can’t help but notice the concern in your eyes as you stare at his bruised bottom lip, a rush of an indescribable feeling running through his body at the sight of you worrying about him.
“Are you okay?” You ask him, concern evident in your voice.
Jungkook gently removes your hands from his face, “I’ll be fine.”
He can tell you’re shocked and lost for words as you eye him for a moment before you turn around to face your father again, your hands falling back to your sides, fists clenched in anger.
“What the hell, dad?!”
Your father ignores you, his eyes burning with fury as they focus on Jungkook. His teeth are gritted as he speaks up, “give me one good reason why I shouldn’t break your nose next.”
“Dad, stop!” You snap at your father. “He didn’t do anything wrong!”
Oh, isn’t that a big, fat lie?
Jungkook stays quiet, not sure how to help his own case right now. He knows your father has every reason to be furious at him. He caught you and Jungkook in the act, red-handed. Naturally he’ll blame Jungkook for what he saw. The worst part about it is that Jungkook saw this scenario happening several months ago when he first gave into you, when he first crossed that line with you, fully aware that there was no going back from that moment. He knew your father would find out eventually; it was just a matter of time.
“If I ever see you lay a hand on my daughter again… you’re gonna wish you never did.”
His boss is seething with anger, the fire in his eyes intense enough to burn holes in Jungkook. However, he doesn’t cower. He stands tall, chin up while no protests or attempts of saving himself leave him. He deserves whatever your father wants to say or do to him – he defied his boss, had a relationship with his boss’ daughter without him knowing, and broke his trust.
However, as his boss’ attention is directed at you instead of Jungkook, he can’t help but inhale sharply in some sort of relief. His bottom lip is still slightly throbbing in pain as he watches his boss stare at his daughter, his expression stern and somewhat terrifying. Jungkook hasn’t seen his boss this furious, not even that time when the company lost millions because of the former head of finance’s screw up.
“How long has this been going on?” He asks you, lips pulled into a thin line as he tries to keep his cool.
“It’s none of your business–!” You snap at your father.
“A few months.”
Jungkook ignores the glare you shoot at him as he can’t help but interrupt, a need to be truthful towards his boss as the guilt practically eats him alive at this point. Nothing good has come out of him lying so far – he might as well be honest instead. Besides, it’s the least he can do after their long history together as partners, as employer and employee – as father and son, basically. He understands where your father is coming from, where his anger and frustration is coming from. Had it been Jungkook in his position, he most likely would’ve reacted the exact same way.
“A few months?” Your father’s expression fades into shock before another wave of furious anger covers it. “Are you out of your damn mind, Jungkook? She’s just a kid, for Christ’s sake!”
Jungkook opens his mouth to say something but you beat him to it, your father’s words striking a nerve within you. You groan and throw your hands out in frustration, “why does everyone keep saying that? I’m not a fucking kid!”
“You’re my kid, _____,” your father pointedly tells you. “And I’m not going to let him take advantage of you like this!”
Jungkook’s heart drops as the words leave his boss’ mouth. He would never take advantage of you – that was never his intention when he first allowed himself to get involved with you. In the beginning, it was solemnly sexual attraction and it was supposed to be just one time. However, the trip to Dubai changed everything and his perception of you hasn’t been the same since. Something changed between you during that business trip and Jungkook isn’t sure when it happened – all he knows is that things were different when he woke up next to you that morning on the last day.
“He’s not taking advantage of me, dad! I’m the one who started it!”
How can he think that Jungkook has been taking advantage of you? If anything, you’ve been taking advantage of him. You’re the one who kept coming onto him, you kept pushing him, you kept teasing and flirting like it wouldn’t have any consequences.
Boy, were you wrong.
And Jungkook kept telling you it wouldn’t work out; he kept saying this was not going to end well. Just as late as last month, he was talking about telling your father before he would end up finding out by himself. You just kept pushing it, selfishly wanting to keep it to yourself and look where it got you.
The color drains from your father’s face, “you what?”
You nod, “it was my idea, okay? So don’t take it out on him. It’s not his fault–”
Jungkook calls your name, catching your attention instantly. When you look at him, he shakes his head to silently tell you to stop. This was just as much his decision as it was yours. He’s not going to stay quiet and let you take the blame for him. If anyone should take all the blame, it should be him. Not you.
“Jungkook is thirty years old, _____,” your father reminds you.
Oh, yeah, that’s right. It’s his birthday today. What better way to spend it than being accused of taking advantage of his girlfriend and getting punched in the face? Cue the sarcasm.
“It doesn’t matter who pursued who,” your father then says. “He should know better than to get involved with my daughter.”
The look your father flashes at Jungkook is filled with betrayal. Jungkook is stoic of emotion, unable to determine what he feels as he watches his boss look at him with disappointment and betrayal in his eyes. This man has been his superior, his mentor, his friend for almost a decade – not once has he expressed disappointment towards him. It doesn’t feel good. At all. But Jungkook can’t bring himself to blame his boss for feeling like this.
“I would’ve expected this from anyone else… but not you, Jungkook.”
There’s a sliver of hurt flashing through his boss’ eyes before they harden again.
“I would never do anything to hurt ____-“
Jungkook tries to defend his and your relationship, finding a bit of will in himself to fight for the first thing that actually means more to him than a casual fling. However, your father cuts off Jungkook with a bitter laugh, obviously finding Jungkook’s words funny as if he just told a bad joke.
“You’re kidding me, right? In the past ten years that I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you maintain a stable relationship,” your father grits, “you jump around from woman to woman and I will not have you treat my daughter like another one of your playthings.”
You instantly shake your head in protest, “it’s not like that!”
“Sir-“ Jungkook tries but your father cuts him off.
“Pack your things and get the hell out. You don’t work for me anymore,” he says with a sigh of resignation while pinching the bridge of his nose, causing panic to flicker over Jungkook’s features.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Despite already knowing it would most likely end up with him getting fired once your father found out about the two of you, Jungkook feels shocked. This job has been the only thing he’s been focusing on for nearly a decade, he’s spent his entire youth here at this company, working his ass off to get to his current – or former – position as the CMO. How could he be so ignorant and stupid? This mess wouldn’t have happened if he had turned you down from the very start, if he hadn’t allowed himself to give into you, to kiss you, to be with you.
God, he was so selfish for doing that – and he still is because even if he’s losing his job right now, he can’t bring himself to regret any of it.
However, before Jungkook can even think about reacting, you’re speaking up: “Dad, don’t–“
“I will not have someone working for me that I can’t trust.”
“This,” you gesture between yourself and Jungkook, “has nothing to do with the company. He’s been your best employee for years, dad! Are you really gonna throw that away, just like that? Like it means nothing?”
“I’m not the one who threw it away,” your father throws a stern glare at Jungkook. “You made that decision the second you started seeing ____. This job obviously means nothing to you–“
Now that’s just bullshit.
“That’s not true and you know it,” Jungkook defends, a sudden annoyance washing over him. He might’ve jeopardized his own role within the company but not because it doesn’t mean anything to him. If this job didn’t mean anything to him, he would’ve just quit. “I’ve dedicated years of my life to this company. I’ve worked alongside you for a decade, building the marketing team into what it is today. I’ve spent days and nights perfecting it and doing everything in my power to make sure we’re the best within the field.”
His boss stares back at him, a stoic expression on his face as Jungkook takes the risk and steps closer, his pride and responsibility for the company and his position adding an inch to his posture as he looks your father in the eye.
“Don’t even, for a second, think this job means ‘nothing’ to me,” he concludes.
His boss doesn’t say anything in return, only giving him a curt nod, not succumbing to Jungkook’s hard stare. Just for a short moment, Jungkook swears he sees a hint of respect in his boss’ eyes but it’s gone as quickly as it appears.
“Don’t go near my daughter again,” he orders, voice low but threatening. “And you can keep your job.”
Jungkook watches as his boss steps away, turning to face his daughter instead. You’re glaring at your father, the hate you feel towards him right now evident in your eyes.
“Let’s go, _____.”
You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest, “you’re insane if you think I want to go anywhere with you.”
“Let’s. Go,” he orders, “I will not tell you again.”
He’s still pissed, you can easily tell. Your father rarely gets angry or pissed at you, so when he finally is, it’s impossible to not notice. In fact, this is one of the few times you’ve actually seen him like this. Never once when you were little did he get mad at you. It was always your mother. It has been a known fact your entire life that you have your mother’s temper. You’ve never been told you are like your father and in this moment, you can tell that his temper is far worse than both you and your mother’s.
Suddenly you feel grateful that he never raised his voice at you throughout your childhood. And something tells you not to defy him right now.
Jungkook looks lost and defeated as you look at him one last time. He shakes his head when you take a step closer to him. You frown, your heart dropping to your stomach as you feel your father’s hand wrapping around your wrist. He drags you out of his office and towards the elevator, not budging as you try to pry his hand off you. Once inside the elevator, he finally lets go and you huff out in frustration.
Just as the elevator doors start closing, you catch a glimpse of Jungkook as he leaves your father’s office, going back to his own office, slamming the door rather harshly after him. You frown deeply as you watch the elevator doors close in front of you. The thought of Jungkook losing his temper and cool once you and your father left the room causes your heart to break in two.
It was never supposed to come to this.
The silence is heavy in the car as you sit in the passenger seat, staring at the buildings passing by as your father drives you back to your dorm. You can tell he wants to say something, it’s obvious in the way he keeps sighing heavily while constantly shifting his gaze between you and the road.
“Listen, you can hate me all you want,” he says after a while. “But you’re not seeing him again. Understood?”
You don’t answer him, you don’t even spare him a glance.
“What?” You let out an annoyed groan as your usual nickname leaves his mouth. The shock on his face is almost comical and you can’t help but let a dry laugh escape you. “You think calling me pumpkin will make everything okay again?”
“____, you didn’t actually think this ‘relationship’ was real, did you?” Your father asks with slight amusement in his eyes. “He’s too old for you! He was obviously taking advantage of you–“
“He was not!” You snap. “Jungkook would never do that.”
Your father may have lost every bit of trust he had in Jungkook but you know him – he would never take advantage of you. He would never do that to you… or that’s what you tell yourself as you turn back to watching the buildings pass by, the people on the street, living their own personal lives.
“You may not want to accept it, but it’s true,” he says as he glances at you, a heavy sigh leaving him as he notices the way you’re avoiding looking at him. “It’s my job as your father to protect you, to show you the signs you’re missing.”
“I don’t need you to protect me!” You protest. “I’m not a little girl anymore! I’m a grown woman and I can make my own decisions–“
Your father scoffs, “oh, please! You’re only 20, _____! Barely an adult!”
You fall silent, too angry and hurt to say anything as your father continues: “Not only is Jungkook ten years your senior, but he also holds a position of power within my company that you will take part in one day; if you can’t see how he’s manipulating and using you for his own personal gain, then you’re not as grown as you think!”
If only he knew how you feel about your business major. If he thinks this situation is causing problems then maybe you should consider telling him about your plans to change your major – that would certainly take his focus away from you and Jungkook’s relationship.
“I don’t care about your stupid company!” You blow up, too upset to think twice about what you’re confessing. You’ve been keeping it inside for too long. “I’ve never wanted to be in your shoes! If you or mom ever cared enough to ask me what I want to do in life, you’d know that!”
You’re furious, burning with anger, when your father finally pulls into the parking lot by your dorm. An array of emotions flashes across his face before his features harden, voice stern as he speaks up.
“We’ll discuss this later,” your father says. “Regardless, I don’t want you anywhere near him ever again. Do I make myself clear?”
“Screw you, dad.”
The words leave your mouth in a scoff before you can think about the damage they may cause. Your father looks baffled as you quickly unbuckle yourself and leave the car, slamming the door after yourself. You don’t offer him a goodbye, instead rushing inside to get as far away from him as possible. Your head is pounding from all the yelling and arguing back at the office, the stress of being caught red-handed by your father, the thought of Jungkook who’s still at the office, alone on his birthday and most likely shocked by how fast things escalated.
Once inside your dorm, you close and lock the door, leaning against it as you let out a much needed sigh. The build up of emotions in your chest is pressing on your ribcage, making it difficult for you to breathe normally. Now that you’re alone, tears are threatening behind your lids, the pressure too much as the tears start to prickle your eyes. You don’t want to cry, there’s nothing to cry about – you and Jungkook are still together, you’re still his and he’s still yours.
You try your best to fight the tears as you grab your phone out of your purse, dialing Jungkook’s number before bringing the phone to your ear. You let out a shaky breath and sit down on your bed as you listen to it ring, trying to calm your thundering heart while also blinking away your threatening tears. Your breath hitches in your throat as the ringing stops, a moment of silence before a familiar voice reaches your ear.
“Hey, baby,” Jungkook’s gentle voice warms your entire chest, the pet name doing nothing to get rid of your tears. You smile softly and sniffle, looking up at the ceiling in an attempt to stop the wetness in your eyes. “You okay?”
“Are you still at the office?” You ask him instead of answering his question.
“No, I’m at home.”
“Can I come over?” You then ask, slight desperation evident in your voice as you bring your hand up to pick at the delicate skin of your lips. You wait for his response, the sound of him inhaling deeply before letting out a heavy sigh causes your knee to bounce in nervosity. Unable to handle the silence, you call his name, “Kook?”
“I don’t know, ____…” he tells you, voice trailing off as he falls silent again, your stomach drops as he hesitates. Another beat of silence passes by before he speaks up again, “Your dad-“
“I just wanna talk,” you interrupt him when he mentions your father. “… make sure we’re okay.”
Jungkook nods on the other line, unable to say no to you as always, “okay, yeah, um… sure. You know where the extra key is.”
“Yeah… I do,” you smile weakly, bringing your leg up under you to rest your chin on your knee. You both stay quiet for a moment, unsure what to say next. The air between you is tense and weird right now – like getting caught and exposed by your father affected you so heavily that you no longer know how to act towards each other. “I’ll leave in a bit.”
“Okay,” Jungkook softly mutters, “I’ll see you soon, baby.”
You nod, “yeah, see you.”
Neither of you hang up for a short moment until Jungkook lets out another heavy sigh and hangs up. You put your phone down, frowning to yourself as you stare at nothing in particular, wondering why calling him felt so odd and unusual when just a few hours ago, you were in his office, flirting and laughing like a normal couple with no worries in the world except for each other.
It’s truly terrifying how things can do a one-eighty so fast.
You let out a defeated sigh as you get up from your bed to go check yourself in the mirror. You grimace when you finally see yourself and your appearance; slightly red and puffy eyes and messed up mascara from the threatening tears and smudged pink-tinted lip gloss from earlier in Jungkook’s office. You’ve definitely had better looks, that’s for sure.
Five minutes later you’re heading out of your dorm after touching up your makeup to make yourself look more calm and collected despite the fact that you’re on edge on the inside, unsure what you’re going to say or do once you get to Jungkook’s place.
Hopefully you’ll be able to keep your tears back.
There’s a heavy sigh leaving you as you stand in front of Jungkook’s front door, his extra key from under the doormat in your hand. You don’t know why you’re hesitating to unlock the door and go inside but you have a feeling of what it could be; a part of you knows that once you’re face to face with Jungkook you’ll have to deal with the problem at hand and figure out where you’ll go from here. You’re not quite ready to deal with it and something tells you Jungkook isn’t either.
Deciding you can’t drag it out any longer, you unlock his front door and step inside. The moment the familiar scent of his home fills your senses, you feel at ease like there’s no issue at all, like you didn’t just get caught red-handed by your father mere hours ago. You inhale deeply, the scent of his home and him sending a tingling feeling through your whole body as you get rid of your shoes before moving further inside, unsure what to do with yourself once you realize Jungkook is nowhere to be seen.
“Kook?” You call his name, your voice careful and your steps cautious as if you’re in a stranger's home.
You’re usually never like this. The past few months you’ve been coming and going to his apartment as you pleased, practically living here for the majority of the summer since the trip to Dubai. The extra key under the doormat became your ticket inside, free of use after Jungkook had told you where it was.
“There’s an extra key under the doormat,” he had told you on some random night of cuddling on his couch, “you’re welcome any day, any time.”
The memory vanishes from your mind as Jungkook suddenly appears from the hallway that leads to his bedroom and the guest bedroom. The sight of him has you sighing in relief, face softening as you make your way towards him. His expression mirrors yours as you reach him, hugging him tightly.
His body feels heavy with guilt when you wrap yourself around him but he can’t hold himself back from hugging you back. What happened at the office really took a toll on him mentally and emotionally, the fear of losing you suddenly hitting him like a tsunami when he arrived home earlier. Having you in his arms has him feeling relieved, heart thumping vigorously in his chest as he hugs you closer, closing his eyes for a second to revel in the feeling.
“Are you okay?” You ask, voice muffled against his chest.
When he doesn’t reply instantly, you pull away just enough to look up at him, concern painted across your features. He offers you a half-smile, nodding.
“I’m fine,” he tells you, “don’t worry about me.”
You give him a look, silently telling him that you will always worry about him when need be. It's impossible not to when you lo… – when you care about someone as much as you care about Jungkook.
“Are you okay though?” Jungkook asks you for the second time, worry etched onto his face as he scans your face. He can tell you’ve been crying – the way you had sniffled on the phone before getting here, the way your eyes are slightly red in the inner corner – he knows. And it’s confirmed when you nod and flash him a smile – a smile just as forced as his denial when he first started getting involved with you.
Without further thoughts, he leans closer and presses his lips to your forehead in a gentle kiss.
His kiss causes butterflies in your chest as you close your eyes briefly, enjoying the feeling of his gentle actions. When he pulls away again, you let your eyes roam him and his appearance. He’s wearing a dress shirt and black slacks, looking rather dressed up and handsome as ever as if he’s about to go somewhere fancy. You chew your bottom lip, eyes moving up to his face and zooming in on the bruise on his bottom lip.
Jungkook quietly watches your every move with a heavy gaze as you reach up to brush some of his hair out of his face before moving your thumb down to run underneath the bruise forming on his bottom lip.
“How’s your lip?” Your voice is small and soft, a frown on your beautiful face that causes Jungkook to tighten his arms around your waist.
“It’ll heal,” he shrugs.
The frown stays on your face as you fall silent, unsure what to say next. There’s a lot you should talk about but you don’t know where to begin or how to begin. It seems Jungkook feels the same way as he watches you in silence, nippling on his busted bottom lip.
“You look good,” you compliment him, unable to keep it inside as your eyes roam his body once again. He styled his hair too, one single strand falling onto his forehead. Your fingers itch to move it away from his face once again but you’re also quite a big fan of that one loose strand. “Are you going somewhere?”
“Yeah, dinner with my family,” he tells you, a sigh leaving him. “I don’t really feel like going out to eat right now after all that happened, but… it’s still my birthday, I guess.”
Realization dawns upon you, a faint memory of Jungkook telling you about how his family are coming to town to celebrate his birthday with him. You remember wondering if he was planning on introducing you to them but when he didn’t mention anything about it, you kept that thought to yourself.
He’ll bring you to meet them when the time is right and tonight might not be the best night.
“Do you want me to cover up that bruise for you?” You ask, offering as you’re not quite ready to leave yet and Jungkook doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to get you out of here either.
“Is it that bad?”
A brief flicker of amusement flashes across Jungkook’s face as he smirks faintly at you. You chuckle softly, grimacing in response as your eyes zoom in on the bruise again.
“Come on,” you slide your hands down his arms to lock them with his, pulling him with you towards the couch. Jungkook lets you tug him along, the guilt faint but still present within his gut as he soaks up as much of your company as he possibly can before you have to go your separate ways again. If your father knew you were here right now, Jungkook would certainly be fired for good.
And possibly murdered too.
Jungkook tries his best not to think about what would happen if your father knew, shaking the thoughts out of his head as you gently push him to sit on the couch. He watches you as you place your purse down on the couch next to him, rummaging through it before finding what you need.
“Okay, hold still,” you tell him as you stand between his legs, eyes focusing on his bruise as you gently tilt his head up by his chin. Jungkook stays still, eyes focused on you as you start working on covering the bruise on his lip and the small red-ish bruise underneath his lip.
Silence engulfs the two of you, tense yet comfortable silence because being in each other’s presence despite everything that happened earlier brings a small amount of relief to the both of you. Your relationship is hanging by a thread right now and neither of you are sure where you will go from here.
The future has never been more unsure.
Jungkook sighs heavily as he closes his eyes, enjoying the gentle touch of your fingers on his face. Before he can stop himself, his hands are sliding up the outer side of your bare legs, pausing on your thighs, his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. You inhale deeply before letting out a soft and slightly shaky breath, the sound causing a rush to run through Jungkook’s body, heart thumping in his chest.
Self control has never been Jungkook’s strongest quality when it comes to you and today is no different. The need to have you flush against him, to feel all of you after all the shit that happened today overwhelms him as he slides his hands further up your legs, slipping underneath your dress. You inhale sharply, hands grabbing his shoulders as he leans forward, resting his forehead against your stomach. You let him slip his hands around to your ass, warm palms sliding over your flesh and back down the expanse of the back of your thighs. He exhales deeply, feeling relief in his body as his hands roam your body. Self control is definitely not a quality Jungkook claims to have when it comes to you as he impulsively pulls you onto his lap, mouth catching yours in a needy kiss.
A low hiss leaves him because of the faint pain from his fresh bruise. However, he can’t bring himself to care as you let out a soft gasp which he swallows as you melt against him instantly.
His lips move with yours, kissing you selfishly and forgetting every single reason for why he shouldn’t. Jungkook takes the makeup products from your hands and dumps them on the couch next to you before pulling you closer, bringing you chest to chest. His lips part, tongue finding yours, wet and warm against his own.
“Jungkook…” you delicately whimper his name against his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him to you as your body automatically reacts to him, his effect on you as strong as ever. Your hips grind down on him naturally, too many moments like this on his couch flashing through your mind as he moans, the sound sending tingles through your body and straight to your core.
“Need you, baby,” he mumbles against your mouth, hands tightly gripping your hips underneath your dress. The thin layer of your underwear turns soaked as he helps you grind down on him continuously, his cock growing harder fast.
Needy and desperate to feel your warmth, Jungkook reaches for his belt, undoing it along with his slacks, pulling his hard length out. He’s breathing heavily against your mouth as you both turn more eager and hungry for each other.
“Fuck–,” he almost whimpers as your hands slide into his perfectly styled hair, messing it up as you grip it and kiss him deeply, moaning and whimpering against his lips.
Jungkook’s fingers find your panties, rubbing over the soaked fabric a few times, earning a moan from you. A low groan leaves him as he feels how wet you are, cock twitching at the thought of your warm walls engulfing him. He hooks a finger inside them, pulling them to the side while his other hand guides you to lift your body. He grabs his cock, guiding the tip to your folds, rubbing it between them to gather some of your arousal on his cock before pressing just the tip into you.
“Oh god,” you whimper, burying your face in the crook of his neck and your hands tightly gripping his shoulders as he grabs you by the hips, guiding you to sit down on his cock. Your walls engulf him, enveloping him entirely as you sink down on him. He moans deeply and slides an arm around your waist, his other hand sliding down and under your dress, gripping the flesh of your thigh. His cock twitches inside of you as you whine his name against the skin of his neck, “Kook–”
“I got you,” he breathlessly tells you, letting out a rather shaky sigh as he pulls you against him, slowly helping you to find a rhythm. Your head falls back in pleasure as you work with him, grinding down on him with the help of his arm around your waist, instant pleasure washing over you as you fall into a delicious pace. “Just like that,” Jungkook nods and bites his lip, reaching up to grab you by the nape of your neck, forcing you to look at him.
“Feels so good,” you moan when your hooded eyes meet his dazed ones, your lips parted in pleasure. The sight has Jungkook growling quietly under his breath as he pulls you in for a kiss, covering your mouth with his own.
“Yeah?” Jungkook moans into your mouth, letting his hand slide down to your chest to grab your breast and give it a squeeze, his thumb brushing over your nipple that’s poking against the fabric of your dress. Of course, you’re not wearing a bra. You almost never do and it’s driving him insane more often than anything else – the access to your tits is too easy.
“Yeah..” You whimper and whine in response to his hand on your breast.
“Fuck… you’re so perfect, baby,” he sighs, both hands falling to your hips to continue helping you ride him, your walls fitting perfectly around him over and over again for every time you sit down on his cock. Your heat makes him shudder, pushing him closer to the edge, his orgasm sneaking up on him faster than ever before. “Gonna cum.. shit-”
“Ah- me too, oh god..”
A few more grinding motions on top of him leave you trembling in his arms and melting against him, body tensing as your orgasm washes over you in waves of pleasure. Jungkook lets out a grunt as your pussy tightens around him when you cum, forcing him to cum too. He spills his load inside of you, hips jerking up and thrusting deeply into you as shots of hot, white strings leaves his cock.
Both of you are breathing heavily from your quick fuck on Jungkook’s couch, your face back to being buried in the crook of his neck as you come down from your high. Jungkook’s head falls back on the backrest of the couch, eyes staring at the ceiling as he lets out a heavy sigh. His hands rub up and down your thighs in caressing motions, giving them a gentle squeeze before he lifts his head to face you again.
Silence fills the room as you lift your own head, your eyes meeting his. Reality comes crashing back as you shift your gaze to the bruise by his lip that you’ve done your best at covering up before his birthday dinner with his family.
“I’m really sorry he hit you,” you quietly say, reaching up to carefully dab it with the tip of your ring finger. Your making out while fucking just moments ago messed it up slightly but not much. You manage to fix it with the pad of your finger.
Jungkook feels his heart sink to his stomach as you frown, your eyes still locked on his lips rather than his eyes.
He shrugs and sighs, “he had every right.”
Your hand pauses as you instantly shake your head, your hands cupping his face instead as your gaze returns to shift between his beautiful dark brown eyes, “he shouldn’t have hit you no matter what. You didn’t do anything wrong…“
Jungkook lets out a low groan of frustration, reaching up to grab your wrists to gently remove your hands from his face, “____, I went behind his back. Not only did I get involved with you but I dated you too and lied about it.”
The guilt is grabbing a hold of him now, forcing him to react upon it after suppressing it for so long. Secrets are meant to be exposed and karma will always get you – reality has caught up with you and Jungkook, and now he needs to figure out what to do, where to go from here.
“What we do and don’t do isn’t any of his business!” You protest, pulling your wrists from his grip before getting off his lap, his now soft dick slipping from your warmth. “I’m my own person, I can do whatever I want without his opinion.”
“Well, I can’t. He’s my boss and I have to work with him every single day,” Jungkook pointedly says.
“Just because he’s your boss doesn’t mean he can dictate what you do with your personal life!”
“It’s not about that, ____,” Jungkook sighs as he pulls his pants back up and buttons them again before running a hand through his hair in frustration. The moment between you certainly came to an end just now. “It’s about trusting people and being loyal to your superiors. I broke both of those and what he did was fully deserved. I can’t blame him for being upset.”
You scoff in disbelief, crossing your arms over your chest, “there are other ways to go about it though.”
“Of course there is but sometimes you react impulsively rather than rationally, “Jungkook states as he gets up from the couch. “I know that more than most people.”
His words sting for some reason you can’t pinpoint while your eyes follow him as he paces the room, looking rather frustrated and torn as he rubs his face and runs his hands into his hair in distress.
You’re frowning still, heart aching as you feel Jungkook slip further away from you. You don’t want him to slip away from you. You want him near you at all times, right next to you with his arm around your waist and his lips against your ear whispering sweet nothings, taking you to a world that’s only yours and his. You want him right next to you at events and parties and family get-togethers, introduce him to every member of your family and all of your friends as your boyfriend. You want sweet and intimate moments with him, kiss him no matter the location, not have a care who sees and who knows.
You want all of that but right now, as Jungkook paces in front of you with an expression you can’t read, it feels too far away and too much like a daydream that will not come true.
“So what?” You ask, shrugging helplessly as you step closer to him. “What do we do now?”
Jungkook stops pacing, his back facing you as he sighs heavily before shrugging weakly.
“I don’t know,” he says, voice low and empty of emotion.
Your frown deepens, heart losing a bit of its exterior for every second that passes by where Jungkook doesn’t talk. The silence is so loud and you can’t take it, it’s horrible to say the least.
This feels like the end.
“Are you…” you begin again, inhaling sharply as you prepare yourself for your next words while panic slowly starts to grow within you. “You’re not breaking up with me, right?”
Jungkook turns to face you as the strained words leave your lips, shaking his head instantly. He closes the distance between you, his eyes shifting between yours as he cups your face, heart aching in his chest as he sees the dampness in your eyes. His face softens at the sight, thumbs brushing over your cheeks, a weak smile on his lips as your own smaller hands cover the back of his.
“I’m not breaking up with you, baby,” he tells you, softly and quietly. The look on his face tells you everything that is happening right now is against his will and not at all something he even considered until the thoughts were forced into his mind. “I just need some time…”
“Time?” You repeat the word in confusion.
He nods gently, “time to figure this out.”
“What is there to figure out, Jungkook?” You ask, slowly losing your patience. “We just had sex! Obviously, both of us want to be together.”
“It’s not that simple, ____,” Jungkook groans quietly, his hands dropping from your face, “I spent over a decade working my ass off. I would be throwing away years of hard work!”
“Oh, so being with me is like throwing your whole life away?” You scoff, offense evident in your voice.
He sighs in frustration, “that’s not what I meant–”
“How else am I supposed to take it, Jungkook? You basically just said being with me isn’t worth fighting for.”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a split second. “Why can’t you just try to see it from my point of view at least once? I’m not not fighting for you. This is a big deal and there's a lot to think about.”
“What is there to think about?”
Your chest feels tight, like pressure just keeps adding to it the more the frustration and tension grow between you and Jungkook. His words don't make any sense to you – what could he possibly need to think about? It’s pretty simple in your head.
“We either stay together or we break up. Do you expect me to sit here and wait until you decide?”
“Just…” Jungkook sighs in defeat, stepping closer. You stay quiet as his eyes meet yours. He reaches up to tug a strand of hair behind your ear, the action so gentle and careful you feel your heart ache. “Just trust me on this one, okay? Let’s keep it on the down low for a few days until your dad has calmed down and we’ll take it from there, alright?”
“But–“ you want to protest but Jungkook leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, whispering a soft and somewhat desperate ‘please’ against your skin.
Before you can even begin to think about how much this will affect the two of you, Jungkook’s front door opens. You and Jungkook’s faces whips towards the door, your eyes widening in surprise.
Two people you’ve never met before in your life stand by the front door, their eyes shifting between you and Jungkook as silence fills his entire home. Although, these people wouldn’t need an introduction; their features are strong and beautiful – very similar to someone else you know. The older man has a handsome, strong jaw and striking features that look like they’ve been copy pasted onto Jungkook’s face. The woman has the softness of Jungkook’s eyes on her own, looking kind and warm.
It’s his parents – you can tell right away. Even if he tried, Jungkook wouldn’t be able to lie about it.
The excited shriek of a small human reaches your ears, causing you to flinch slightly in surprise, eyes widening as a toddler is running towards you and Jungkook as fast as her small legs will allow her. You glance at Jungkook, noticing the small grin on his face that definitely wasn’t there just a minute ago. He squats down, catching the small toddler in his arms as she flings herself at him, a bright grin on her little face.
“Hey, Poot,” Jungkook greets her, hugging her small frame.
Uncle Kookie? Poot?
You watch as Jungkook rests the toddler on his arm before leaving your side, meeting his family by the door. Two other people have appeared alongside his parents, their eyes shifting between you and him, curious gazes asking silent questions. They must be the parents of the toddler; his brother most likely and sister-in-law if you have to guess.
Your expression softens as he greets his mother with a gentle kiss on the cheek before hugging the rest of them. Seeing him interact with his family is another side of him you haven’t witnessed yet. It’s strange but also heartwarming, the sight sending warm tingles through your whole body. However, the tension is still lingering in the air, wordlessly acknowledged by everyone except for the small toddler on Jungkook’s arm.
“Will we be one more person for dinner?” His mother asks with curious and hopeful eyes as she glances at you over Jungkook’s shoulder, her eyes holding nothing but kindness in them.
That must be where Jungkook got his round eyes from – they are the exact same.
“Um…” Jungkook trails off, turning to look at you with an expression you can’t quite read.
The silence turns awkward as they all look at you expectantly, waiting for you to confirm or deny. You glance from them to Jungkook who’s chewing his bottom lip anxiously. The look he gives you tells you all you need to know – he doesn’t want you there tonight.
“I, um… I was actually just about to head out,” you tell them, flashing an apologetic smile as Jungkook’s mother’s expression falls, her hopeful eyes turning disappointed in an instant. You quickly move to grab your purse off the couch and move towards the front door. You pass by them on your way, hating the way you feel so exposed and small in front of all of their undeniably curious gazes. You offer them the best smile you can muster as you feel Jungkook’s eyes on you, nodding at them in farewell while saying; “It was really nice to meet you though.”
Jungkook watches with a frown as you scurry out of the front door, leaving in a hurry and taking the tension with you, his home suddenly feeling incredibly empty despite the fact that his entire family is standing right next to him. He lets out a gentle sigh, turning to his family who all look like they’re waiting for some sort of explanation.
“Who’s she?” His older brother asks, breaking the silence, curious as ever.
Jungkook shrugs, not sure what to tell them – You’re his girlfriend, have been for a few months and he’s pretty sure he’s losing you more and more for every moment that passes. It surely felt like that when you left just now, taking every inch and corner of his heart with you.
It belongs to you after all… or that’s what he would like to think at least.
“She seemed like a nice girl,” his mother then says, eyeing Jungkook in the way she always does when she wants her sons to provide information and explanations. She did the same thing to his older brother until he and his wife finally came clean and shared the news of pregnancy. “really pretty too.”
However, Jungkook only nods weakly in agreement to his mother’s words, “yeah… she is.”
It has been two whole days since Jungkook last saw you or talked to you. He’s had plenty of chances as you’ve been texting him and calling him several times, but so far he has let it ring until his voicemail would take care of it. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you, that’s actually far from being the reason for him neglecting your calls and texts. He’d love to talk to you. He wants to apologize for not defending himself and you, for not putting an end to it before it could come to this, for letting it become so real only for it to be ripped away in the matter of a few seconds.
But he’s not entirely sure what to say to you just yet.
Friday, after you left with your father, Jungkook went back to his office, slammed the door after him in frustration and sat down in his chair, face buried within his palms as he replayed what just happened. It was a mess before but now it’s an even bigger mess. Thankfully he still has his job. Your father didn’t fire him and that alone tells him that this could’ve gone way worse than it did.
What happened between you and your father after you left the office is still a mystery to Jungkook but he also knows better than to get in the middle of that as he’s already the reason for enough drama.
This year his birthday will take the crown as the worst birthday in his entire life. It was supposed to be a great day as he was going to celebrate it with people whom he loved and cared about. He was going to have dinner with his family and then he was going to spend the night, and probably the entire weekend, with you. However, the universe was not having it and Jungkook should’ve known all of it would come crashing down at some point.
He hasn’t even opened the gift you got him yet. It still sits on his desk – untouched.
Dinner with his family on Friday was… painful, to say the least. They had all been so happy to see him; his mom and dad, older brother and his sister in law – his niece too. He had been showered with hugs and kisses from his mother who wouldn’t stop telling him how proud she is and what a wonderful son he is.
If only she knew.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” His mother had asked during the main course, looking at him with that worried expression she always sports whenever one of her sons aren’t acting like their usual self. He should’ve known she’d notice his sour mood and then he realized he should’ve done better at hiding it.
Shrugging and plastering on a fake smile, he told her it was nothing, just a bad day at work. And it was true. It was the worst day he’s ever had at work since he began his internship there and that says a lot given the fact that he’s been there for almost a decade by now. His mother seemed to believe him though as she nodded and gave his arm a squeeze with her hand before returning to the conversation with the rest of his family.
Jungkook’s niece even asked her father what was wrong with uncle Jungkook and that was the moment he felt really bad for being in such a sour mood.
Thankfully none of them asked about you – something tells him that they knew better than to question him about it.
Now, on this Monday morning, he’s driving to work with a thumping heart. He has no idea how his boss will treat him or if he’ll even spare him a glance. It’s truly tragic – what was once the perfect dynamic between him and his boss is now ruined all because of him and the fact that he couldn’t stay away from you.
The elevator ride up is quiet and almost unbearably long, the one employee who’s in there with him not even acknowledging him. He hopes the weekend helped in dissolving the tension that was hanging in the air on Friday when he went home before the dinner with his parents. Before he saw you. But he knows every employee knows.
Gossip travels fast around an office like this one.
The whispering and the curious looks from every single person in the office reach him as he steps out of the elevator and makes his way to his office. The entire office is filled with a thick silence and it doesn’t go unnoticed when someone starts whispering. He doesn’t want to look at anyone and he definitely doesn’t want to talk to anyone, so he keeps his eyes locked on the door to his office, making it his goal to reach it before some of these people start asking questions like ‘what’s it like fucking the boss’ daughter?’ and questions like ‘what does she have that i don’t?’ from the female employees who’ve been trying to get him on a date for months with no luck.
Once he reaches his office, he closes the door shut and leans against it, letting out a sigh of relief. The loud silence filling the whole office is suffocating, the quietness of his own office not so much. Now that that is over with, he only needs to face his boss at some point throughout the day. And it’s not going to be in a friendly manner like it used to be. He knows that much.
The sound of his phone ringing again in the pocket of his blazer causes him to return to the present and make his way to his desk, dumping his bag on top of it before pulling out his phone. Your name and photo flashes across the screen and he feels his heart tighten, hesitating to accept it despite knowing it’s for the best if he doesn’t.
Deciding he doesn’t want to take that risk right now, he presses the red button on the screen and dumps his phone onto the desk along with his other stuff. He has barely sat down and started up his laptop when someone enters his office. He looks up with panicked eyes, fearing for a moment it’s his boss. But it’s just Jaemin, sticking his head inside.
He looks like he doesn’t know what to think of Jungkook as he stares at him.
“Boss wants to see you,” he curtly says.
Jungkook feels his stomach drop as he nods and gets up, “right, thanks.”
Jaemin disappears again, closing the door after him and leaving Jungkook alone to work up some courage. It couldn’t possibly become worse than it was on Friday, right?
His boss should’ve calmed down by now. He’s probably still pissed and definitely hating Jungkook’s guts but hopefully not enough to punch him in the face again. As he makes his way out of his own office and towards his boss’ office, he considers turning on his heel and fleeing the scene like a true coward. However, he knows it won’t make the situation any better.
He fucked up and will deal with the consequences like the responsible man his parents raised him to be.
His boss doesn’t look up when Jungkook enters his office nor does he say anything. Jungkook closes the door behind him and steps further into the room, hands locked behind his back as he waits for whatever his boss wants to say. Silence surrounds both of them as he watches his boss – your father – sign a few papers before punching holes in them rather passive aggressively and then putting them away in a binder. He points to one of the chairs in front of his desk, glancing at Jungkook.
Jungkook nods curtly and sits down, deciding he should probably obey and not test the waters right now. He’s not sure what to expect but he certainly didn’t get called in here to receive a promotion. If anything, he’s most likely getting fired in a minute or so. His boss probably regrets letting Jungkook keep his job and will tell him he’s fired, that he needs to pack his stuff and leave today. He will probably also be told to never show up here again, not even in ten years time when you’ve moved on and found someone else more fitting for you.
“Help me out here, Jungkook,” his boss sighs after a long minute of no words being exchanged.
Jungkook is confused. Very, very confused.
The man he has considered a role model for years chuckles humorlessly and shrugs, clasping his hands together on top of his desk. “You see, the problem is that I want to fire you. I want to ruin your future chances of ever getting a head position like this again. But then I would lose the best CMO I’ve ever had and that would be very foolish of me, don’t you think?”
Jungkook stays quiet, not sure what to say in response to that.
‘Thank you, sir, for not firing me and ruining my career’?
No, if anyone ruined his career, it would be Jungkook himself. He knew, when he started to get involved with you, that he was risking quite literally everything, but he did it anyway and he did it for a long time. It’s not like his boss ever told him you were off limits. He had no reason to because it was never an actual issue.
Besides, everyone knows you’re the most precious thing in your father’s life.
Jungkook has always known that your father would do anything to keep you from any hardships; including heartbreaks. He also knows his boss always wants to approve of the boy his only daughter is dating. And yet, despite all of this, he still allowed himself to feel more than just attraction towards you – he acted upon it and he even allowed himself to fall for you and let you into his life like you were going to stay for a long, long time. He let you completely infiltrate his life and his mind, causing him to forget about the possible consequences.
“I’m very tempted to just let you go and not give a shit about what happens to your career… or you, for that matter,” he grumbles.
“I’m not sure what you want me to say, sir,” Jungkook says in return after a short moment of silence, meeting his boss’ eyes.
He’s not looking at him the same way anymore. His eyes have become colder, less friendly. He used to feel comfortable around his boss, like they were pals and had known each other for a whole lifetime. He was almost like a father to Jungkook, especially when he first began working here after graduating college. He was pretty much on his own as his parents lived in the other end of the country and the job he wanted was here where he barely knew anyone except for the few friends he kept in contact with from college. His boss took him under his wing while at work, seeing potential in him and gave him more responsibility than any new employee had ever been trusted with before.
Jungkook owes his boss a lot – pretty much his entire career at this point.
“You can’t see her, Jungkook – I know you know that and we both know you’re smart enough to not go behind my back again.”
Those words hit hard. He already knew this but hearing it coming from his boss in such a calm, steady voice makes it seem more real, like a threat. And in this moment he knows there isn’t much he can do or say that’ll make his boss change his mind. He’s not even sure what would be a good enough reason for him to say ‘it’s fine, date her all you want’.
“Listen, I’ll make you a deal,” his boss then says, getting up from his seat to walk around his desk. Jungkook watches, his nerves on fire as his boss leans against the desk, arms crossed over his chest. “If you stay away from my daughter, I’ll let you keep your job and we can forget this whole thing.”
Jungkook nods, still not sure what to say or do. Is this deal even worth it? It should be, right?
“But,” his boss continues, “if I ever see you with or near ____ again, I will make your life a living hell. I will make it impossible for you to get a position like this ever again. I will make sure your actions will have consequences. Understood?”
The discreet threat has Jungkook’s nerves going off; reputation and contacts are important within this field and without them you won’t get far. No job would compare to the one he has at your father’s company. This job formed him into who he is today and the people here have been a big part of that – including your father. He likes the idea of having been a part of it for a long time and he likes the stability that comes with it. He likes the freedom he has, or probably more like had. Things won’t be the same for a while, not until his boss has forgotten about this whole thing.
If he ever will, that is.
“Do we have a deal?”
He glances up at his boss, pursing his lips for a moment as he thinks about ‘the deal’ his boss just presented to him.
It’s a real shit deal – it’s a ‘choose one, lose one’ kind of deal and it makes Jungkook feel like the entire universe is against him at this point. Losing his job would be awful and losing you would be awful too, if not worse. During these past few months, Jungkook has been happier than he’s ever been despite the fact that his relationship with you has been kept a secret from almost everyone he knows.
However, this outcome shouldn’t come as a surprise to him. He already knew it would end with this if the two of you didn’t come clean to your father about your relationship. But he found out before you even had the chance to tell him and now it’s all messed up and crumbling within Jungkook’s hands.
He knows what he has to do, so he slowly nods in response to his boss’s question. His boss curtly nods in return as if to approve of Jungkook’s choice, offering a hand for him to shake. Jungkook feels even worse than he did this morning as he shakes his boss's hand, already having a feeling that this deal won’t benefit any of the people involved, but he has to try.
If he agrees to your father’s terms and distances himself from you, then maybe – just maybe – he will try to see it from another perspective one day.
“Come on… pick up, pick up, pick up-“
Hey, you’ve reached Jeon Jungkook. I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.
You let out a frustrated groan, dialing his number one more time and pressing the phone to your ear. You’re staring at the ceiling of your dorm, the hand not tightly gripping your phone is picking at your bottom lip as you wait anxiously. The sound of the phone ringing echoes in your head, your heart is beating one hundred miles per minute in your chest. By this point, you’re convinced you can feel your heart slowly crumbling to tiny pieces the more Jungkook ignores your calls.
It’s Wednesday afternoon.
It’s been five days since you last saw him and talked to him. He’s been ignoring every call you’ve made, every text you’ve sent. He hasn’t even read them and you’re not sure if that offends you more than him not replying. Either way you’re offended by the fact that he’s neglecting all of your phone calls and texts, no matter if he replies or not. The fact that the phone rings for a while tells you that it’s not even turned off, he’s just watching it ring and ignoring it anyway.
For the past three days you’ve been to classes, getting started on the new semester. You already knew on Monday that if you didn’t busy yourself, you’d drive yourself crazy and Jungkook too because you’d be calling and texting non-stop.
You gave him the space he asked for over the weekend and once Monday rolled around, you found yourself trying to contact him. This whole ‘keeping it on the down low’ is getting the best of you and you miss him terribly. At this point, you’ve probably called him a few times throughout the day for the past three days but right now, you’ve already called him twice within a few minutes, growing very impatient with him.
You probably look desperate as hell but you don’t really care at this point.
The ringing stops and you hold your breath for a second. Just for a mere moment you get your hopes up only for them to crash down onto the floor again as his voicemail plays for a second time; Hey, you’ve reached Jeon Jungkook. I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.
What a fucking liar – you’ve left several messages and he hasn’t gotten back to you at all.
You sigh deeply in defeat and get up from your tiny twin-sized bed, dumping your phone on it before going to the bathroom to take a shower to get your thoughts off it all for a bit. You might as well just get ready and go have dinner at your parents’ house.
Your father had texted you a few days ago, asking if you wanted to stop by for dinner. When his message had ticked in on your phone, you found yourself feeling slightly bad for telling him ‘screw you’ and then leaving his car and slamming the door in his face before storming inside your dorm. You had replied with a simple ‘sure’ to his invitation, hoping that you will be able to talk some common sense into his thick skull over dinner.
However, you’re not sure if it’ll be just him and you or if your mother will make an appearance too. It would be nice to have some good things happening when you’re having the worst time of your life right now. Although, you know it’ll be too good to be true if your mother actually came to dinner as well.
Your parent’s mansion is filled with a delicious aroma when you walk through the front door. It has your stomach grumbling in pure hunger, causing you to realize that you almost haven’t eaten a single thing today. You had a lot of classes today with the first project of the semester being introduced today as well and then you spent a while trying to reach Jungkook. And now you’re here. Hungry and exhausted, upset and hurt.
“Oh, hey, Pumpkin,” your father greets you when you step into the kitchen. He’s cooking today; a kitchen towel thrown over his shoulder as he’s chopping up carrots and onions. No sight of your mother but you weren’t really expecting that. However, you can’t fight the instant frown that takes over your features.
“Hey…” You can’t help but look at him with skepticism, wondering why he’s suddenly cooking when he usually only uses the kitchen to make his coffee in the morning. He has a chef who cooks for him on most nights. It’s not that your father doesn’t know how to cook, in fact, he’s pretty good at it. It’s usually something he doesn’t do himself because he leaves work so late most days and it makes life a little bit easier if dinner is already cooked and ready to be served when he arrives home.
The grin he sports has you even more confused. Why is he trying to be all nice? Why is he acting like nothing happened? Maybe this is his way of apologizing? Maybe he knows you’re pissed at him and that all of this is his fault.
“What’s going on?” You ask, raising an eyebrow in question.
Your father chuckles and shrugs, “can’t a father make his daughter a nice meal without having an agenda these days?”
Oh, okay, so he’s gonna act like nothing happened.
As he shakes his head at you with a small smile on his lips, you feel anger burning in your veins. How can he act like nothing happened? He pretty much ruined that one good thing in your life and acts like it’s no big deal.
“Why are you acting like nothing happened?”
Frustration is laced within your words, confusion written all over your face as you cross your arms over your chest and wait for his answer, his reaction.
He sighs deeply as if you bringing this up is taking a toll on him, as if it’s a waste of time for the two of you, “____, what I did was for your own good. I hope you know that.”
For your own good?
If he wanted to do something for ‘your own good’, he would hear you out and give Jungkook a chance. Ever since you and Jungkook confessed your feelings and came to terms with them, your life has been a fairytale. The time and moments you’ve spent with Jungkook has only brought you happiness and being with him feels right. It feels like you belong there and you’ll be damned if your father will take that away from you.
“What did you think was gonna happen when you invited me here? That we were going to sit down and have dinner together and act all buddy buddy?”
“No, dad, you’re not taking my relationship with Jungkook seriously! You’re not taking me seriously. I’m an adult and you need to start treating me like one.”
Pushed to his limit, your father pulls the dish towel from his shoulder and throws it onto the kitchen counter, his eyes turning harder as fury flashes across them, “I will start treating you like one when you stop acting so damn childish.”
“This is not just a childish fling,” you protest immediately just as he turns his back to you to check on the vegetables that’s still frying on the stove behind him. Your throat tightens as words you haven’t said out loud yet sit at the tip of your tongue. However, they spill out of you before you can think twice, “I love him.”
Your father whirls around to face you, his eyes wide in shock. Your own eyes mirror his and you’re not entirely sure what you just said. But there’s no reason to be surprised – you knew falling in love with Jungkook was inevitable. You’ve had a feeling lately that your feelings for him were about to take a much more serious turn. You’re not sure when you reached the stage of love but here you are, finally realizing – or more like admitting – how you feel about Jungkook in front of your father and you can’t even tell the man in question because he’s not answering your damn phone calls or texts.
However, your father scoffs and then laughs. He laughs! “Oh, please! What could you possibly know about love?”
Furious and frustrated, you look him in the eye and snap your next words at him; “a whole lot more than you, that’s for sure!”
He catches on right away, his entire face twisting into something that could be mistaken for pain but you’re not sure. If he’s hurting because of your mother not being around, then maybe he should start focusing on that instead of your relationship with Jungkook. It’s always easier to deal with everyone else’s problems rather than your own despite knowing you should deal with your own shit before meddling with other people’s lives.
Even if it’s your daughter’s life.
“Your mother and I being separated has nothing to do with this,” he sternly says as he looks at you with those furious eyes you haven’t witnessed many times throughout your life; the same eyes you saw on Friday when everything went terribly wrong. “You wouldn’t know what it’s like to love someone because you’ve never experienced it. So don’t use that excuse with me, alright?”
Anger burns in your body, filling your veins and chest and taking control of your whole demeanor. Tears are pressing against your eyelids, building up in your eyes as you look at your father – the man who has been spoiling you your entire life, treating you like a princess and watching out for you every single day in case you’d get hurt.
The man in front of you is not him.
No, the man in front of you is a whole other version of your father; someone who’s insecure, someone who’s losing control, someone who’s trying to force everyone to fit into his perfect frame. At this rate, you’re really not blaming your mother for leaving.
“Maybe I would know if my parents actually cared about each other!”
The words leave you before you can stop them, your voice breaking. The silence filling the kitchen after is unbearable, so loud and so, so heavy – painful. You inhale deeply and hold your head up, fighting back your tears.
“Enjoy your dinner,” you tell him. “I’m not staying.”
You feel your chin quiver as you turn on your heel before you can see how your father reacts, heading for the front door. You slam it after you on your way out, mentally swearing to yourself that you won’t set foot in this house until he’s ready to see it from your perspective, to let you explain the situation so that he’s not only blaming Jungkook but you as well. He still thinks it’s only Jungkook who’s at fault here when he’s far from it. This whole mess is your fault just as much.
“____, get back here right now!”
Your father’s voice is faint and drowned out by the sound of you slamming the front door on your way out, heading back to the car that you, funnily enough, also received from your father as a gift back when you got your driver's license. You haven’t used it for a while as Jungkook has been picking you up and driving you back to your dorm almost every time you’d spend time together.
Now you’re back in your own small car, gripping the steering wheel so tightly your knuckles turn white. Your vision is blurry from the tears you’re trying so hard not to let fall. You haven’t allowed yourself to feel the pain of it all yet, keeping yourself so busy that you haven’t had time to sit down and relax because then you’d end up thinking about it and then you’d probably end up crying too.
Which is happening right now.
God, you hate crying – it’s not like you.
Sniffling and wiping away the dampness underneath your eyes, you dig out your phone only to be disappointed once again, heart sinking to your stomach. There’s still no reply from Jungkook. You sigh heavily, shoulders slumping as your head falls back against the headrest, eyes falling shut as you sit in silence, not sure what to do or where to go.
Going back to your dorm will only make this worse – that will allow you to sit by yourself and wallow in self pity. Going to one of your friends’ houses is the last thing you need right now – they wouldn’t understand anyway.
After a few minutes of staring at nothing in particular, you turn on the ignition and drive in the direction of a place you’ve become very familiar with during the past few months. If he won’t answer your calls, you’ll just go there and force him to talk to you. Yes, there’s a possible chance that you’re slowly losing your common sense but that’s what love does to you. And you can’t think of someone else who can possibly comfort you more right now than him.
Besides, things can’t be worse than they are right now… right?
Jungkook is filling his fridge with beers, preparing for the monthly poker night with a few friends, something he’s most definitely not in the mood for but he needs to get his mind off all the shit that’s happening right now and this seems like the best option to do so.
However, a confused expression takes over his features when someone suddenly knocks on his front door while he’s putting the last beer in the fridge before closing it. Jungkook glances at the clock on the wall, noticing it’s only half past six. His friends aren’t supposed to be here until seven.
Whoever is at the door knocks again as Jungkook makes his way to the front door. Looking through the peephole in the door, he freezes.
It’s you. What are you doing here?
If your father finds out you’re here at Jungkook’s place, the deal he just agreed to the other day will be flushed right down the drain and he’ll no longer have a job. He’s been trying to figure out how to tell you, how to end things with you – how to make you not hate him with your entire being. The guilt has been eating at him for the past few days and while he knows he should’ve called you first thing on Monday after agreeing to the deal with your father, he couldn’t get himself to do it because he knew he’d be breaking your heart.
For a third time because that’s all he knows how to do apparently.
“Jungkook?” You call out his name, your voice small as if you’re afraid he’ll get mad that you’re here.
He’s not mad, he’s not even annoyed with you. He’s torn because he wants to open the door and let you in. He wants to pull you in for a hug, a kiss. It’s been five days since he saw you last and while it’s easy to stay away when you aren’t right next to him, it’s torture knowing you’re on the other side of the door, pleading for him to talk to you.
“Jungkook, please open the door.”
The pleading tone of your voice has him sighing in defeat as he unlocks the door and opens it. The sight he’s met with causes his heart to break in half. Your eyes meet his – they’re red around the edges, wet eyelashes and your beautiful, glossy lips are twisted into a frown that shouldn’t be on your face in the first place.
“What happened?” He immediately asks, sensing something more than this mess with the two of you is taking a toll on you. Otherwise you would probably show up angry and offended, giving him hell for ignoring your calls rather than on the verge of tears.
You try your best to smile at him the moment he opens the door but instead of a smile, your bottom lip trembles and tears begin to fill your eyes again. You didn’t come here to cry but the fight with your father and the sight of Jungkook after five days without so much as a text hits you all at once.
It takes less than a second for Jungkook to step forward and embrace you in his arms, hugging you to his chest and engulfing you in his warmth. A pang of guilt and regret shoots through Jungkook’s entire body when he feels a sob raking through you before it escapes your lips, muffled by Jungkook’s T-shirt. You’re clutching the fabric of his T-shirt in your fist as he carefully brings you inside his apartment, closing the door after him. He holds you close as he quietly waits for you to say something, to tell him what’s going on.
After a few minutes of silence filled by your muffled cries and sniffles and Jungkook’s soft, comforting coos against your hair, you lift your head. However, you don’t look at him. You step away from his embrace, forcing Jungkook to remove his arms from around you. His body feels cold after you’ve created a good amount of distance between the two of you and he feels an urge to pull you back just to feel your warmth against him. But he never does. Instead he watches you as you turn your back to him, hands quickly wiping away your tears as if he’s not allowed to see them.
“____,” he calmly says your name, catching your attention.
You turn back around to face him, finally fully looking at him. You can’t help but scan him from top to toe; he’s wearing a pair of washed black jeans paired with a black t-shirt that isn’t oversized like it usually is. His tattoo covered arm is folded over his chest along with his other completely bare one and if you weren’t such a mess right now, you’d tell him he looks good. He always does.
“What’s going on?” Jungkook asks, looking concerned as your eyes meet his dark, brown ones.
You sniffle and let out a shaky sigh, looking around just to avoid the worried look on his face, “I was just at my parents’ house and um… my dad was cooking dinner and he was in a really good mood but then all of a sudden it just blows up a-and we start yelling at each other–”
Jungkook is at your side within a second as your words become frantic and sporadic. His hand finds yours, fingers intertwining out of habit, and you don't know why but it makes you want to cry again.
Damn him and all these feelings he’s making you feel.
He softly tugs you along, pulling you to the couch. “Take your time,” he tells you, voice comforting and calm as he sits you down before sitting down next to you. His hand doesn't leave yours and you feel relieved that he isn’t creating distance between you again like he did at the office on Friday. His thumb caresses the back of your hand as if to encourage you to tell him why you’re suddenly sitting here on his couch, teared up with a frown on your face.
“I told him that I…”
You begin but stop once you realize what you’re about to tell him. You can’t tell Jungkook that you love him? Not when you have no idea what he’s thinking about this whole thing. What if he doesn’t feel the same way about you at all? You’d rather keep it to yourself and prevent a heartbreak instead of telling him and being rejected. You wipe away the rest of the wetness on your cheeks before looking at him again.
Jungkook gives your hand a squeeze as you sigh in defeat, “there’s something I haven’t told you.”
The soft brushing of Jungkook’s thumb stops its caressing strokes for a moment, but he doesn’t pull his hand away from yours so you continue; “my parents have been separated for a while. My mom lives downtown by herself and I… I haven’t seen her in weeks. My dad’s been trying to keep it together but I don’t think he’s doing that well.”
“What?” Jungkook asks, surprised to hear this about his boss. He always thought his boss was a happily married man with the perfect daughter and the perfect job; having literally everything most people wish for. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I guess I didn’t wanna believe it and I thought that maybe if I didn’t say it out loud, it would be less true,” you shrug and look down at your intertwined hands.
His free hand gently touches your chin, urging you to look him in the eye. His eyes shift between yours for a moment before he says, “baby, I hope you know you can talk to me about these things. I don’t want you to deal with all that by yourself.”
A jab of brief relief shoots through your body as the nickname falls from Jungkook’s mouth. A small smile spreads across your lips as you scoot closer, slowly leaning in and letting your forehead touch his.
Jungkook lets out a deep sigh as his hand slides from your chin and up to the nape of your neck. Before he can stop himself, he’s pressing a kiss to your forehead, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach and a small sliver of hope to appear; maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem.
You let out a soft sigh, voice careful and barely above a whisper, “I really miss you.”
Jungkook stays quiet. Not sure what to say or do, he pulls away enough to let his eyes meet yours again. You’re smiling at him but it’s not your usual bright smile that makes his heart skip a beat; it’s a sad smile, one that makes him want to scream at the entire universe for being so unfair to him – to you. You shouldn’t be taking the blame for being with Jungkook. You’ve done nothing wrong and you didn’t go behind your father’s back like Jungkook did. And now there’s bad air between you and your father, all because of him.
I miss you too, Jungkook says in his head but another part of him keeps him from saying it out loud.
It’s quiet in Jungkook’s living room, the only sounds being the gentle sighs you both let out once in a while. Even though it has been a mess this past week, it feels like things will be alright. You feel like things will work out for you and Jungkook as you sit quietly, watching him as his eyes scan your face – your eyes, the slope of your nose and down to your lips, soft and kissable lips he so badly wants to devour and touch as if everything is like it used to be. But he knows he shouldn’t and he knows you shouldn’t be here because your father will put two and two together sooner or later.
Where else would you go if not your dorm? Jungkook’s place is the first place your father would look.
“You shouldn’t be here, ____,” Jungkook quietly tells you, his eyes avoiding yours because he knows a wave of confusion and hurt flashes through them as your breath hitches in your throat.
There goes that sliver of hope.
He shakes his head, glancing at you with regretful eyes.
You feel an urge to slap the pained expression off his face. How can he do this to you? Right after you’ve bared yourself in front of him and made yourself vulnerable by telling him about your family falling apart and that you miss him despite not knowing if it would make much of a difference or not.
“We can’t keep doing this. There has always been a limit on our time together and we’ve reached it.”
Shaking your head in disbelief, you chuckle dryly, “you can’t be serious right now.”
Jungkook watches as you get up from the couch, running your hands through your hair, frustration and confusion evident on your face. He sits back, hating every second of this. He knew it wouldn’t be easy to break up with you because he knows you and you’re not one to give in or give up without getting your point across first. Except, this time, you’re unusually quiet as you move around his living room, muttering quiet words to yourself while looking at the ceiling.
If Jungkook didn’t know any better, he’d say it sounds like you’re telling yourself not to cry. Repeatedly.
“____,” he tries, causing you to face him again. He mentally winces as he notices the unshed tears in your eyes. He moves to get up but the hand you hold up to stop him has him settling on the edge of the couch. He sighs, shoulders slumping, “you know I’m right…”
“Please shut up,” you whisper, covering your face with your hands.
“I can’t be the reason for you and your dad not talking, ____, I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.”
You scoff, removing your hands from your face, helplessly dropping them to your sides, “but ending us is fine? Jungkook, my dad will get over it! He’s just in shock because he found out like he did.”
“And if he doesn’t? Then what, ___?”
Sure, he’ll get over it eventually. But Jungkook will lose his job and his reputation within the business will be severely damaged. Your father knows enough people to make it happen and he didn’t seem to be kidding on Monday when he presented the deal to Jungkook. And he certainly wouldn’t have taken no for an answer.
Even if Jungkook decided to be with you despite the deal he made with your father, your relationship to your father would still be hanging by a thread because Jungkook is still in your life. The only way he can be in your life right now is to break up with you and hopefully see you around once in a while. Maybe in the future, you’ll be able to talk again after your father has forgotten all about it.
By that time, you will probably have moved on and found someone else who’s been approved by your father and isn’t one of his employees.
It’ll probably end up being some guy around your own age too.
“Then he will just have to deal with it,” you shrug, seeming convinced that it’ll all work out for the better. “Can’t we just go back to keeping us a secret? We can still be together and be more careful – I won’t come visit you at the office, we’ll just see in each other at home and–”
It’s in times like this that Jungkook is reminded just how much younger you are. You can’t see the bigger picture and you don’t understand what’s at risk here. Or perhaps you’re being the grown up here by not accepting the terms your father has set for the two of you? Jungkook can’t tell anymore – it’s confusing. Maybe if the two of you had been honest from the start, you wouldn’t be in this mess at all.
“No,” Jungkook shakes his head, chest tightening and heart falling to the pit of his stomach because of his next words; “I promised your dad I wouldn’t see you anymore. I’ve already lost his trust, I can’t afford to lose more if I want to keep my job.”
He can’t afford to lose more because he already lost you. A tiny part of him feels like he never really had you at all and it’s almost like he already knew that deep inside. But despite that he allowed himself to take whatever he could get a hold of – allowed himself to fall in love with you.
“You promised my dad not to see me? Did you shake on it too?” You scoff, not believing what he’s saying right now. When he stays quiet, his jaw tightening, you can’t help but cover your mouth, shocked that your sarcastic comment ended up being true. “So that’s it then? You’re breaking up with me because my dad told you to?”
He shrugs helplessly, “he’s my boss, ____ … What do you expect me to do?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” you scoff, “stand up for yourself, maybe?”
“Don’t do this, please. It’s over, ____,” he sighs, looking lost and defeated, like he doesn’t have any other choice but to break up with you. By his logic, he doesn’t have much of a choice. But then again, is that even valid? His mind hasn’t been functioning properly for months.
A thick and heavy silence rolls over his living room as you both fall quiet. Jungkook’s words are still hanging in the air and they’re so loud. It’s over. That’s what he said just a moment ago and every time you replay it in your head, you feel another tiny piece break off your heart and fall into the very gut of your stomach.
Never in your twenty years of life have you been this hurt and disappointed before. You’re seconds away from swearing at him, shouting at him for being so stupid and ignorant, slapping him across the face for thinking the only solution would be agreeing to the terms your father laid out. You can almost hear your heart falling out of your chest and onto the floor, breaking into a million pieces.
That’s how quiet it is.
You have to get out of here. You can barely even look at Jungkook without wanting to burst into tears; it hurts too much. You want him so bad but he just told you it’s over between you and he doesn’t even seem to be fazed by it. The room is definitely shrinking in on you, turning suffocating as you glance at him once more. A jab of pain shoots through your chest, causing you to get up and grab your things.
“____…” Jungkook says your name with a gentle sigh as he watches you furiously grab your things, the hint of tears in your eyes threatening to spill over once again.
You ignore him though, sniffling and quickly wiping your eyes to get rid of the tears as you head towards the front door. Your heart is clenching in your chest and his apartment – his home – feels ten times smaller than it usually does, the warmth it usually holds gone within a heartbeat.
The second you grab the door and fling it open to storm out of it, you freeze as you’re met by surprised faces. A guy with brown messy hair has his hand held up in a closed fist as if he’s about to knock on the door, his almost black eyes meeting your wet ones.
A boxy grin spreads across his face as he brings his closed fist down and unfolds it to offer it to you in a handshake. Behind you on the couch Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose and swears under his breath as he notices the time. It’s almost seven and sure enough, his friends are on time as per usual.
“Nice to meet you – I’m Taehyung, this is Seokjin,” he introduces himself and the guy behind him before glancing over your shoulder at Jungkook. “Hey, Jungkook, why didn’t you tell us you’d have a girl over tonight? We would’ve brought more snacks.”
Your boyfriend, or whatever he is right now, gets up from the couch while running a hand through his hair before shrugging, stumbling over his words. “I- um… well, she-”
“I was just about to leave,” you interrupt, saving Jungkook from explaining once again like you did on Friday. You earn a pained look from him as if he doesn’t want you to leave just yet. But he obviously had plans before you got here so you might as well leave. Besides, it’s over between you and him anyways. “So yeah, I’m gonna go… it was really nice meeting you-“
Before you can move past them, Taehyung stops you; “woah, hold on, why don’t you join our game night?”
Seokjin suddenly speaks up from his spot next to Jungkook, “yeah, you should stay! We’re playing poker tonight and there’s always room for one more, right, Jungkook?”
He looks at Jungkook with an expectant smile, waiting for Jungkook to approve of their spontaneous idea. You wait, not sure if you should insist on leaving or if you should just play along and pretend everything is fine even though it’s far from it. You want to leave, the mere sight of Jungkook right now causing your chest to tighten in the worst way possible. However, another part of you doesn’t want to realize that it’s really over between you, that maybe if you stay things will go back to normal. The beers in Taehyung’s hand do seem really inviting too. Maybe a night of drinking some beers and playing poker will be just what you need – even if it’s with Jungkook and his friends.
“Sure, why not?” Jungkook finally shrugs, shooting a stiff smile at his friends. Taehyung wraps an arm around your shoulders to give you a friendly squeeze, the same bright smile still etched on his face when he lets go of you again and heads towards the kitchen island. You tell yourself this is a bad idea, that this will only drag out the pain you’re feeling, as you put your things down once again, making yourself at home.
One hour and you’ll leave.
You watch as Jungkook’s friends begin unpacking the beers and putting them into the fridge while taking out some cold ones in the process. You slowly make your way to the kitchen island, not sure where to place yourself or what to do. The other friend, who’s name you still don’t know, spots you on the other side of the counter. He offers his hand, a kind smile on his face as he introduces himself, “I’m Jin, by the way.”
Oh, so this is Jin.
A faint memory involving Jungkook and a desk flashes through your mind as you smile kindly and shake his hand. You can tell Jungkook is thinking the same thing as you as he lightly clears his throat when he notices the realization on your face. “Hi, Jin, I’m ____.”
Jin quickly looks at Jungkook while still shaking your hand, “wait, this is the ____?”
Jungkook looks like his biggest secret has been revealed when you glance at him. He slowly nods in response to Jin’s question while crossing his arms over his chest.
Wait, he told his friends about you?
You were under the impression that none of Jungkook’s friends or family knew about you. The only people in your life who know about you and Jungkook are Seunghun and two of your other friends.
… And now your father too.
Taehyung turns to join in on the conversation, giving Jin a suspicious look, “you already know ____?”
Jin and Jungkook exchange looks for a moment before Jin shrugs and vaguely nods. “Kinda,” he says, “Jungkook has mentioned her a few times.”
If you didn’t know any better, you’d say Jungkook’s ears are slowly turning a faint pink color as the words leave Jin’s mouth. He doesn’t look at you as he grabs two bags of snacks, taking them to the other side of the kitchen to grab some bowls for them. A small smile spreads across your face as Jungkook tries to stir the conversation elsewhere. “So, where’s Yoongi?”
“On his way,” Taehyung says as he begins to unpack the poker game onto Jungkook’s dining table.
You seat yourself on one of the bar stools by the kitchen island, watching the boys set up everything for the game night. Jungkook places a few bowls of snacks on the table, Jin follows with the cold beers. Just as everything is all set up, the front door opens. You glance in the direction of it, watching as another man with platinum blonde hair enters. He nods in the direction of the boys, greeting them silently as he kicks off his shoes.
This must be the missing one; Yoongi.
He makes his way to the dining table, passing you on the way. His eyes meet yours shortly, a low ‘hey’ leaving him. You mutter a soft ‘hi’ in return and watch as he almost immediately spots the beer and reaches for one. He uncaps it before turning to hand it to you. He offers you a flat, friendly smile as you accept it with a small ‘thanks’.
“You look like you could use one.”
You can’t help but snort, “it’s that obvious?”
He shrugs, glancing at the other boys before looking back at you. Jungkook carefully listens in on the conversation between you and Yoongi, some sort of unfamiliar feeling growing within him as you let your guard down to someone you just met. “It’s not not obvious. Those two though,” he points at Taehyung and Jin, “are just too dumb to catch onto it.”
You laugh and take a swig of the beer he gave you. He smirks softly, “yeah, you’d think Jin would notice stuff like that since he’s married with kids and everything but…”
Yoongi is a nice guy. Very comfortable and calm to be around, and you find yourself already enjoying his company as he tells you to join him and the others at the table. Something about the way he immediately knew something was going on has you intrigued – he seems like an interesting person; very good at reading the room and knowing what to say without sounding too harsh or intrusive. It’s nice and refreshing, especially after the talk you and Jungkook just had before they arrived.
You sit down next to Yoongi, spotting Jungkook across from you when he clears his throat and grabs the cards. He pops a few peanuts into his mouth before glancing around the table. You watch intently as he starts mixing and dealing the cards, “alright, let’s play-“
“Wait,” Taehyung suddenly says, causing Jungkook to pause in his actions. Taehyung looks at you from his seat next to you. “____, do you know how to play poker?”
“Not really,” you shrug nonchalantly, “but how hard can it be?”
Yoongi lets out a chuckle from next to you as he leans back in his seat, taking another swig of his beer. Jin and Taehyung grins at your obvious confidence that it can’t be that difficult to play poker.
Jungkook watches you, his hooded gaze settled on you as you listen carefully to Taehyung who’s explaining the game of poker to you. He’s not sure what he hates the most; you getting along with his friends or his friends taking a liking to you. Either way, it’s not ideal because he just told you that you shouldn’t be seeing each other and here you are, meeting his friends and even crashing his game night, dumping your lovable personality onto all of them.
Throughout the night, you’re talking to everyone else but Jungkook. He didn’t expect you to talk to him but every time your eyes met across the table he had hoped you’d say something. You never did. But it’s not like Jungkook did much of an effort either.
One hour turns into a few more and it’s almost ten o’clock by now. Jungkook has downed a few beers and so have you which means you’re relatively more talkative than you already are on a daily basis. You’re really hitting it off with Yoongi and Taehyung which doesn’t sit right with Jungkook at all. He knows his friends would never make a move on you and he has no right to be jealous when he’s the one to break up with you. He just can’t help himself – you’re the only one who’s ever made him feel like this and it’s driving him insane because he can’t do shit about it. Not without losing his job, his reputation or you.
The night soon comes to an end when Jin gets up from his seat, “I should get going, can’t have the missus dealing with two small kids by herself for too long.”
Jungkook and the other boys huff out a chuckle each, all of them telling Jin to get home safely and to tell his wife they said hello. He pats Jungkook on the shoulder, leaning down to say something that makes Jungkook’s faint smile disappear.
“She’s a great girl, Jungkook, do yourself a favor and don’t fuck it up,” he quietly tells him before heading towards the door, slipping on his shoes and leaving.
Too late, Jin, too fucking late.
The other two soon follow suit after Jin. Both of them make sure to tell you goodbye and that they’re hoping to see you around soon again. You smile at their words, trying to stay positive despite knowing you probably won’t be here much after tonight if Jungkook really meant what he said earlier. Just the mere thought of not being here in Jungkook’s home makes you feel incredibly empty inside.
After Yoongi leaves as the last one, Jungkook shuts the door. You stay seated at the dining table, watching in silence as he starts cleaning up the bowls that once contained snacks. He also gets rid of the empty beer bottles and packs up the poker game before putting it back in its place on a shelf. The tension doubled in size the moment you and Jungkook were left alone, the absence of his friends being the main reason. It felt like the tension had dissolved throughout the evening but it seems it was simply on hold until they’d leave again.
“I really like your friends,” you suddenly say.
Jungkook doesn’t say much, he stays quiet as he finishes tidying up. You pick at your fingers, hesitating to speak again but decide to do it anyway when Jungkook doesn’t make an effort to engage in the conversation.
“They’re fun to be around.”
Still no words from him and you’ve run out of things to say that’d make sense at this very moment. The silence is so painful. Quietness and silence used to be comfortable around Jungkook but now… it’s unbearable. You feel like everything you do; breathing, sighing, thinking – it’s too loud and it makes the atmosphere within the room seem even quieter.
“Can you please say something?” You plead, giving up on the small-talk because it’s ridiculous and it won’t get you anywhere. You need him to say something – anything – because the last few hours are so confusing. Nothing makes sense anymore.
Jungkook stays in the kitchen, back facing you as his hands tightly grip onto the edge of the countertop. His arms flex, the muscles in them contradicting for every time his hands clench and unclench. His back seems broader than the usual in the fitting t-shirt he’s wearing today; a stark contrast to the oversized ones he usually wears when he’s not wearing button-ups and blazers.
You’re only half aware of your actions as you get up from your seat at the dining table, making your way to the kitchen. Jungkook feels your presence as soon as you reach the kitchen island, your nervous breathing extremely loud in the quietness of his home.
“Jungkook?” You call his name, the sound of it falling from your lips causing goosebumps to rise upon his skin. His entire body stiffens when he feels your palm come in contact with his back. And then he sighs heavily as if he’s been waiting for you to finally touch him again.
This is a fucking mess.
He can’t control what he wants and what he doesn’t want. One second he wants to touch you, hold your hand and kiss every part of you and the next he’s telling you to leave, that you shouldn’t be here. And now… he’s craving you. More than he ever has and it’s tearing him apart on the inside because he knows he shouldn’t even be near you right now. You should’ve left hours ago, you shouldn’t have met his friends because now you’re even more part of his life than before and they liked you.
Fuck, you got along with them so well and Jungkook loved it.
“I should just go… I can’t do this–“ you say and shake your head in disappointment when Jungkook still doesn’t say a single word.
Before you can move too far away, he’s reaching for you causing you to yelp in surprise, his hands pulling you against him. He grabs you by the nape of your neck to pull you in, his lips crashing to yours in a kiss that speaks volumes compared to any words he would ever have the courage to say to your face.
You melt against him, your hands tightly gripping onto the fabric of his t-shirt as his fingers curl within your hair and his other hand slides around your waist to keep you flush against him.
This kiss is unlike any kiss Jungkook has ever shared with anyone, even compared to all the kisses he’s been giving and receiving from you for the past few months. It’s the best kiss he’s ever had but it’s also the worst – it’s raw and it’s hurting him but it’s comforting him at the same time. It burns in his entire body, setting his skin on fire and making his heart run lap after lap after lap.
You feel it too, he can tell.
You’re clinging onto him, hands tightly gripping his t-shirt in hopes of making it last longer. And suddenly it tastes like salt; a bitter salty taste that forces him to pull away to catch his breath, to look at you, to make sure you’re okay. He barely catches a glimpse of the tears that are trickling down your cheeks before you’re pulling him back in for more.
“Don’t stop,” you whisper, connecting your lips with his again.
Jungkook gives in, letting himself do what he’s been trying not to all night. He swiftly picks you up, locking your legs around his waist as he starts making his way to his bedroom. Your arms wrap around his neck, hugging him close as you continue to desperately kiss his lips, tongue meeting his halfway. You deepen the kiss, causing Jungkook to moan against your lips as he welcomes it. He’s been craving your lips ever since you showed up at his front door earlier on in the evening.
He sits down on the edge of his bed, keeping you on his lap as you continue to kiss. His cock is growing hard underneath you, a natural reaction to you and your body, the way you kiss him with so much passion sending his mind spiraling. His cock is straining against his jeans as you begin to slowly grind your hips against him. Jungkook pulls away from the kiss, fingers gripping the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head, leaving you in your pants and bra.
Jungkook’s eyes meet yours.
He feels his chest tighten as he looks at you, takes you in. You’re so beautiful – without a doubt the most gorgeous woman he has ever had the pleasure of being with. He hates it right now though, having you like this while knowing it’ll be the last time.
You offer him a weak smile, one that doesn’t even reach your damp eyes as you lean in again, lips meeting his in a soft, careful kiss.
He sighs deeply against your lips, feeling all of you all at once. His hands roam your body, touching every part he can reach; sliding up the length of your thighs and around to cup your ass before sliding up the expanse of your back, fingertips digging into your skin. Your hands are cupping his face, keeping him close as you move again, grinding down on the hard bulge in his jeans.
Jungkook unclasps your bra, his fingertips delicately pulling the straps down your arms. You let him remove it entirely, only paying attention to the kisses you share as he throws it onto the floor. His own shirt soon follows as you reach for it, pulling it over his head. Your naked chest presses against his as he pulls you in, head tilting to the side to deepen the kiss, tongues meeting again.
The soft moans you let out against his mouth have him weak, his breathing becoming more and more uneven as your clothed core brushes over his growing, hardening bulge over and over.
“Fuck,” he swears under his breath, the word brushing against your lips as his hands tightly grip your hips.
“Jungkook…” You moan his name softly, arms snaking around his shoulders as your head tilts back in pure pleasure. His hips meet yours halfway, thrusting against you as he brushes his lips over the column of your neck. Making out and grinding against each other isn’t enough though, he has to taste you, be inside of you, fuck you until you’re both falling apart, make love to you one last time before you go your separate ways.
He needs this and so do you.
More than ever.
You let him move you onto the bed without questioning his actions, the look in his eyes saying enough as he hovers over you.
A shaky breath of air falls from you as he leaves a gentle kiss on your lips before moving down your body, lips peppering kisses all over your skin; against the top of your breasts, right next to a nipple and then on the underside of your breast. He moves on to your ribcage, kissing the skin repeatedly before he slides further down, leaving a trail of kisses on your stomach and right above the waistband of your pants. He takes his time, caressing your skin with his lips, taking you and your scent in, your warmth and the comfort that comes along with your presence.
You’re arching your back, in need of more of his kisses and touch. He sighs deeply against the skin of your stomach, kissing you over and over and over. Your hands slide into his hair, fingernails scratching his scalp, causing him to let out a soft moan.
He glances up at you, taking notice of the way your eyes are shut closed, lips parted to let out soft and breathy moans, his name falling from your lips in a quiet plea. His fingers hook into the waistband of your pants and panties, slowly pulling them both down to reveal you entirely, the frisky air of his bedroom hitting your damp core.
You shudder above him, goosebumps rising upon your skin as you spread your legs for him, making room for him to place himself there. Jungkook’s lips brush over the skin of your inner thighs, leaving a gentle kiss as he watches you – dark eyes zooming in on the way you bite your bottom lip and knit your eyebrows together in pleasure when he moves in to hover his mouth over your wet and soaking core.
“Please, Kook…” You whisper, the pleading tone of it sending shivers down his spine and going straight to his heart; the nickname causing his chest to clench painfully.
Without other words exchanged, Jungkook gently brings your legs over his shoulders and grips your thighs tightly before digging in, licking a thick stripe from the bottom to the top of your slit where he sucks your clit into his mouth. You let out the softest and prettiest whimper, arching your back once more as pleasure ripples through you from that one action.
“Oh– god..” you moan when he licks between your folds again, the tip of his tongue flicking your clit a few times before he buries his mouth and nose in your heat, inhaling you; the taste and scent of you.
He moans deeply against your core, sending vibrations through your body. Your hand reaches for one of his as your heels dig into his back, your hips bucking against his mouth as he continues to eat you out, lick and suck your clit like a starving man. He’s attentive; watching you the entire time while bringing you closer and closer to the edge, the taste of you spreading on his taste buds and bringing him to a euphoric place where being with you is like paradise for him.
“Kook–” You whimper, tightening your grip on his hand as your orgasm comes closer, soon to wash over you in big waves of immense pleasure.
Jungkook can tell from the way your moans turn higher in pitch, the end of them turning whiny. It’s one of your tells, one of the things that give you away and something you can’t hide even if you tried your best. You’re always so vocal and he loves it – even when he knows it’ll be the last time he hears it.
Your mouth falls agape, one of your hands moving to grip the sheets tightly when he brings his free hand up to rub circles onto your clit while fucking you with his tongue.
Pleasure washes over you like a gigantic wave, sending you over the edge and into the blissful state of your orgasm. Jungkook laps up your cum, drinking you up while you come down from your high. He makes sure there’s not a single drop of your arousal left before moving up again, hovering above you. Your chest rises and falls heavily in ragged breaths of hot air as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
Your lips ghost over his, causing a chill to run down his spine, the warm air from your still ragged breathing causing goosebumps to rise upon his skin.
“Need you to fuck me, Kook– please…” You plead before gently kissing his lips over and over, your hands reaching down to undo his jeans.
Jungkook lets out a sigh against your mouth, feeling his resistance dissolve entirely. He connects his lips with yours in a deeper kiss, helping you push his jeans down until his hard cock is freed from its confinements. A hiss leaves him as you wrap your delicate hand around his length, pumping him a few times and running the pad of your thumb over the tip to collect the beads of precum, using it as a thin layer of lube.
Desperate to feel your warmth wrapped around him, Jungkook covers your hand with his own and guides his tip to your entrance. You hold your breath when he rubs himself up and down between your folds, collecting your arousal on his tip before sinking into you – torturously slow.
You gasp against his mouth, your hands reaching up to grab him by the nape of his neck, bringing his lips back on yours.
“Shit-” Jungkook breathes, the word fading into thin air between your mouths as he continues to slide into you, sinking deeper and deeper. The stretch feels amazing, so good. Your warmth engulfs his cock, welcoming him as if he’s returning to a place where he belongs.
He wants to belong here – right here, wrapped up in black sheets with your lips on his, hot bodies flush against each other, connected physically and emotionally on a level he has never experienced before – he would belong here if it weren’t for the universe being against him. But the universe works in funny, messed up ways and Jungkook must’ve really pissed off some higher power in his past life to live this life, being in love with someone he can’t have.
So fucking messed up.
“Feels good,” you whimper, bringing him back to his messy reality.
“Yeah?” Jungkook breathes.
You nod, biting your bottom lip as Jungkook bottoms out, pausing his movements. He lets out a heavy sigh, lips gently kissing yours over and over as he slides his hand down the side of your body to hook under the crook of your knee. He brings your leg around his waist before letting his hand slide down to your ass, giving it an affectionate squeeze as he deepens the kiss, distracting you while he pulls out and slides back in, even deeper than before.
“Oh.. my god,” you let out a gasping moan, breaking out of the kiss as he settles in a rhythm, slow and languid thrusts in and out, his length stretching you out again and again, brushing against your walls and your sensitive bundle of nerves. You cling onto him, arms wrapped around his neck to keep him close, lips brushing against each other in breathless moans and feathery kisses that cause goosebumps upon your skin.
“Taking my cock so well, baby…” Jungkook rasps, trailing his lips from yours and down to your neck, pressing kisses onto your scorching skin while slowly and sensually fucking into you, making love to you. “Always so good for me– my perfect girl…”
His possessive words have you whimpering underneath him, your walls clenching around his cock. Jungkook moans and lets himself get lost in you and your presence, slipping under and into that place where nothing is wrong, where everything is still right – back to before when it was just you and him and no one else.
His mouth searches for yours once again, like a magnet pulled towards its source of magnetism. He kisses you deeply as he grinds into you, sliding inside your warm wetness – so deep and tight, a snug yet perfect fit like a glove on a hand.
If you aren’t the perfect match for him then why does it feel so right? Why does everything about and around you feel so right if it’s wrong?
Unanswered questions fill Jungkook’s mind, causing him to fuck into you a little harder, a little rougher in an attempt to distract himself. Soon your moans and whimpers, delicate cries of his name fill his head instead, piercing through the questions and replacing them with you.
Just you… it’s always you.
“Ah- f-fuck, right there…” You cry, back arching into his chest as Jungkook hits even deeper in you, the sound of skin against skin increasing.
“Yeah? Right here?” He breathes as he lifts himself up on his hands, sharply snapping his hips into you, his cock sliding right in and out of your wet pussy, the skin of his shaft glistening from your arousal. Jungkook’s breathing turns more ragged, the sight of you losing yourself underneath him, your thighs tightening around his waist, core clenching around his cock as he hits a spot within you that makes you squirm on top of his black sheets.
“Yes!” You whimper, hands gripping the pillow underneath your head until your knuckles turn white, your face twisted in pure pleasure.
A low growl emits from him as he presses himself against you again, his hands sliding up your arms and into your hands, his fingers slipping between yours and intertwining tightly.
“You gonna cum for me, baby?” He asks, voice low and raspy against your lips, kissing them gently as he watches you nod vigorously, your hands tightening around his. “Gonna cum with me, hm?”
A whiny hum escapes you as your thighs tighten around his waist, your hands gripping onto his for dear life, pleasure raking over you and adding heat to your cheeks. Your eyebrows are knitted together as you get lost in the pleasure, the ecstasy of being with your perfect match.
You look so fucking beautiful under him, skin glistening with a thin layer of sweat, your lips parted as moans and whimpers tumble from them, eyes closed and hair a tousled mess on top of his pillows, spread underneath you like a messy halo.
You’re perfect – in every single way he can think of.
He’s unable to contain how much he hates this, a frown growing on his lips as he looks at you. Before you see the pained expression on his features, Jungkook buries his face in the crook of your neck and squeezes your hands. He’s on the verge of cumming but he won’t allow himself to let go until you get there before him; he can’t wait to feel you cum around him, feel every single wave of pleasure shooting through you.
“So fucking perfect…” He moans against the skin of your neck, kissing it over and over while thrusting into you still, three specific words so close to slipping from his lips. “All mine…”
“Oh my– Jungkook!”
His words bring you over the edge, your orgasm rushing through you. Jungkook can tell as he feels your walls tighten around him, causing your pussy to become even more snug than usual. Jungkook lets out a groaning moan as he snaps his hips into you with sharper thrusts, seeking out his own orgasm, explicit sounds of skin slapping against skin reaching his ears.
Jungkook lets out a raspy, strained moan as he cums, stilling deeply inside of you as streaks of white cum fills you, painting your insides like a blank canvas. You whimper as he grinds into you, riding out both of your highs, his hands tightly wrapped with yours still as he peppers against the juncture of your neck and shoulder. His breathing is warm against your skin, heavy and ragged as he tries to catch and calm his breath.
Words can’t describe how you feel right now as silence surrounds the two of you, the only sounds being your breathing and the vague sound of Jungkook caressing your skin with his lips. You close your eyes, trying your very hardest to enjoy his touch, his presence, his skin against yours, his lips on your body, his entire being intertwined with yours on top of his dark sheets.
The air is heavy, more tense than ever before as Jungkook lets out a deep sigh and relaxes against you, face buried in your neck still because he, too, has no idea how to use his words right now. All he knows is that he wants to enjoy every single second he can get with you because after tonight what he had with you will be in the past – the end of an intense, exciting yet painful chapter.
As the silence continues to grow around the two of you, you feel your chest becoming heavier, your entire body becoming numb as realization hits you – this is really over.
A shaky breath leaves you as you blink up at the ceiling, the tears pressing against the back of your eyelids feel like they’re burning. You don’t want this moment to be over, you don’t want to return to reality; a reality where you and Jungkook no longer exist together. You don’t want this to be real – you want him to wake you up and tell you it was a bad dream, a nightmare that will never come true.
“I’m sorry,” Jungkook quietly mutters against the skin of your neck before leaving another gentle kiss there, his voice laced with guilt.
You know exactly why he apologizes and it brings you zero comfort as you wrap yourself around him, trying to keep the tears from falling once again. The heavy feeling on your chest grows and grows, every breath you take is more shaky than the one before and the tears keep burning your eyelids, threatening to spill over.
A few hours later you’re slipping out of Jungkook’s bed, stealing one last glance at him as he sleeps on his stomach, naked with just the sheets covering his waist. His hair is an unruly mess and his black tattoos are evident even in the darkness of his bedroom. He’s beautiful and he was yours… Not anymore.
You bite your quivering bottom lip the second you feel the pressure behind your eyelids again, the tears quickly filling up your eyes. You sniffle and wipe the dampness from them, refusing to cry. You’ve cried enough because of him. Before you can crawl back into his bed and wrap yourself in his warmth, you turn and sneak out of his bedroom. You leave the door open, even though you know he always closes it when going to bed. You’re afraid you’ll wake him up if you attempt to close it.
You’re not sure if you can handle being rejected by him a second time and you know he’s headstrong about his decision. Once Jeon Jungkook decides something, you can’t do much to make him wither or change his mind.
Not even you – not this time.
Jungkook’s entire apartment is quiet and empty when he wakes up the next morning. He might even go as far and say it’s cold even though it’s early September and the weather is much like mid-August.
He knows you’re gone when he sits up to look at the spot where he last felt your presence but he can’t fight the frown that grows on his face when he realizes that you’re actually gone. It stings in his chest, aching in a way like never before. A heavy, defeated sigh leaves him as he closes his eyes and falls back down on the bed, a low and barely audible ‘fuck’ escaping from between his lips.
If breaking up with you was the right thing to do, then why does it feel so fucking wrong?
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