#im sorry you set such tight fucking deadlines

[shadowcay]

It's 10pm and I still can't get over how my boss was still giving me shit today about how I was ill at the end of February.

[anicekidlikeme]

Fuck you, Mr. Ireland.

What I am about to do feels like opening the biggest box in a storage room full of neatly packed items. I am going to be embarassed, and teary, but it's okay. Telling stories and retelling stories is such an important impulse, and I must set her free. For whoever is able to find this atleast.

I used to laugh so much that my throat would get sore. And I feel like i was a different woman then and I am a whole other one now. Everyone makes such a big show about being sexually assaulted. They call you brave, they say it is not your fault, and whatever else is in the manual of saying all the right things. Touched, ruined, decreased in value are more like the words I would use, but fuck, sexual assault survivor works too. I still cant find the courage to tell my mother, but it is nice to daydream of a reality where she finds out, holds me tight, says its okay and its not my fault. I want her to say she likes me. But that won't happen.

Therapy helps. It's evident. I have come such a long way from not being able to shower for days, not able to leave the home of my then boyfriend, not wanting to eat. God it sucked. I learned nothing from it. And I want to honor that. I left my friends behind just to run as far away as I could from what I thought was a big danger sign with a bomb on it. It's not so graceful wishing ill on someone, but jeez, I cannot fucking help it. You know he's in Italy right now? Or Spain, or London. Im not sure. He could be fucking anywhere and he'd be standing high and mighty, with so much power over me. I truly believe that if you wouldnt wish the worst on your worst enemy, you need worse enemies. This man is my worst enemy, and sincerely, fuck him. I wonder if he thinks I won. I wonder if he did win. My brain fucking trots every day thinking about that. I get so used to feeling bad sometimes I wish I could just lay down and watch everyday pass. Not reacting.

You wouldnt believe how many hugs I have gotten from my friends since that day, but not one felt comforting. It didn't make me go wow, it feels like im ready to put this past me. To start fresh. I set such a strict deadline for myself for when i should have been fully healed, but oh my god was that a stupid idea and a giant failure. I will probably have moments of grief for the rest of my life, and you know what, I want to fucking honor that too. My boyfriend and I were joking around the other day about what the worst crime ever could be. Of course he went with murder, and its no shocker what I picked. I told him so casually, atleast you get to die and it’s all over when you're murdered. With Sexual Assault, you are a victim forever. Sorry, I meant "survivor". Fucking bullshit word.

I am working on it, and everyday is better. But if anyone would like to hold me all day, wow would that be awesome. I could use a full day of being held. For the longest time, I felt such shame asking my friends for help just for me to be able to function normally. They are truly the most patient, loving and generous people in the world. They protected my heart with such gentleness.

I wish sometimes that I had so much money that I could make everything work out for me just the way I wanted. I choose to go back to New York and live in a large large apartment with plenty of windows. I'd ask Drew if he wanted to come. We'd live close to all my friends, and host dinner parties. Enjoy the city (which you can only do with 2 mountains of cash). In a few years, we'd have a kid, and move to the suburbs. I would love to make babies with Drew. They would be so smart, kind, gentle, loving, and talented. I have never felt that way before for anyone (Sorry past boyfriends). We'd start a cute coffee shop together, and live out the rest of our days with no worry.

Im not even close to having that kind of money, but thats okay. To have people in your life that make you want to imagine your whole future with them is so special. There is no way he won.

Fuck you Mr. Ireland.

[rjhpandapaws]

A Cup of Something Better

Ch7: When Stuck in One Place, Try Another

Hank was in a tight spot, his manuscript was late already, and it was only going to get later. Hank was out of ideas, well, kind of, distracted was probably a better word for it. Somehow he didn't think his editor would take the excuse of 'so I'm gonna need an extension on that deadline because I'm out of ideas, and also the time I could have spent writing I've spent thinking about a guy that I've seen like once,' all that well. Kaya was great, don't get him wrong, she put up with a lot of his bullshit, but even she had her limits. Hank being almost a month late with a manuscript was definitely one of them, that he unfortunately knew from experience. Best to get this over with. After his meeting with Kaya he was meeting Jeffrey for lunch, something they didn't do as often as they should.

Figuring he'd sat outside her home office long enough, Hank turned off his beat up old car and got out to head inside. The sooner he got this over with the better. She met him at the door, her red hair tied back in a bun, her green eyes were narrowed behind wide red framed glasses. He was definitely about to get an earful.

"You're late," she said in place of a greeting stepping aside to let him in, "but im beginning to notice thats the one garuntee with you."

"Good afternoon to you too Kaya," Hank remarked letting the tall redhead lead the way to her office.

She sat in her office chair and Hank took the couch. Kaya waited until he was seated before she spoke, "Please tell me you have something, even just a progress check. You're creeping up on a month and the company is starting to breathe down my back."

Hank cleared his throat rubbing at his beard, trying to find words that wouldn't get him flayed alive, "the college has been keeping me pretty busy, when I've had time to write I havent been able to get anything down. I was, um, I was wondering if I could get an extension or maybe a hiatus period. I honestly thought I'd be done by now, I'm sorry Kaya."

She sighed, an incredibly swdate response compared to the anger that was burning in her eyes, "an extension Hank? You come in here a month overdue with nothing to show for it and you have the nerve to ask for an extension! You never fail to amaze me. I'll see if I can get you marked as on hiatus. I'll cite your being a professor as my reasoning." Hank breathed a sigh of relief, though the feeling was short lived as Kaya continued, "If you do something like this again the company is going to drop you most likely."'

"Thanks Kaya." Hank responded, "I know I'm not the easiest to work with, but this shouldn't happen again."

She watched him stand with a distant expression, "you know what happens if it does."

He nodded as he made his way to the door, "Have a good day Kaya."

"You too Hank."

Hank figured this was a long time coming, but it was still a surprise to hear just how close he was to being dropped. Not that it wasn't deserved, only a few of his manuscripts had ever been on time. For a few months out of the year he could blame it on being a professor, but the main reason for it was just that his writing process was unstructured and slow.

He needed a pick me up if he was going to be dealing with Jeff as well as Kaya. He drove the familiar route toward the university, planning to stop by the cute cafe again. He parked and walked into the cafe, making his way to the counter with plans to try that same latte again with less espresso since he was feeling more human today. There was a different barista working the counter today, Josh, according to his nametag.

"Hey," Josh said with a charismatic smile, "welcome to Hand Brewed Hope, what can we get started for you?"

"I'll take a medium vanilla latte with two shots of espresso," he almost ordered something for Jeff but then thought better of it.

"Connor will have that down at the other counter for you when its done," Josh said handing the cup off to the other barista.

Hank followed the action with his eyes and then his brain froze. It was the barista from yesterday, he figured as much from the name, either the kid from his night class or his twin. He was just as struck by Connor this time as he had been before and it took all of his strength not to just stare. If anything he was more attractive now that Hank was awake enough to take in more than just his eyes.

Connor was tall, maybe a couple inches shorter than Hank. His brown hair was styled back neatly save for one errant curl that fell defiantly onto his forehead giving the look boyish charm. Hank caught himself staring and decided to make conversation.

"So, uh, Connor, was it?" Hank asked in the ineloquent way that seemed to be the usual of him when he was around the barista.

"Yes professor?" Came the almost immediate response and Hank needed a minute.

Hank stared again, trying to assess if he had in fact heard that correctly. Upon the realization that he he had, his stomach turned on itself. Nothing said dirty old man quite like crushing on one of your students.

"Well that answers that I suppose," Hank said, and hopefully he didn't sound like he was choking on his words.

Connor couldn't be more than in his early twenties at best, and Hank was turning thrity-nine come September. On top of being his professor, the age difference would make anyone uncomfortable. This crush needed to be tucked away, it couldn't become anything. He was pulled from his thoughts by the paper togo cup coming into his line of sight. He took it with a weak smile.

"Have a good day professor," Connor said kindly as he turned to leave.

"You too kid," he responded lifting the cup in place of a wave as he left the cafe like the devil was on his heels.

He could already hear Jeff giving him a hard time about falling for yet another pair of pretty brown eyes, as well as the following lecture about appropriate behavior. He rolled his eyes at his own thoughts and started his car heading to their usual place, a diner by the police station. He drank from the latte, deciding that two shots of espresso was ideal, the bitter perfectly balanced by the vanilla.

Hank arrived before Jeff as was usual and picked a table close to the door, somewhere easy to spot. Jeff arrived a few minutes later, sitting across from Hank. He eyed the coffee cup.

"Good to see you're as much of an asshole as I remember," Jeff joked in way of a greeting, "stopped for a fucking coffee and didn't even get me anything."

Hank laughed shaking his head, "I don't see you for six months and the first thing you do is bitch at me for not buying you a coffee. Some friend you are."

"How's the new book coming along?" He asked looking over the menu.

Hank winced, "I asked to be put on hiatus with my publisher because of got nothing in me right now."

Jeff gave him a sympathetic smile, "how's the university treating you then?"

"Good," Hank replied setting his own menu down having decided on a bacon burger, "night classes are pretty relaxed. How are things at the station?"

"Hectic." Came the reply as Jeff flagged for a waiter, "just got a bunch of new academy graduates and they all think they're hot shit."

"You know how it is, give them a few months and the gravity of the job will set in."

There was a lull in the conversation long enough for them to place their orders. Then the topic finally turned away from work. Though Hank didn't like the new topic that much better.

"So you seeing anyone Hank?" Jeff asked right as he was drinking from his latte. His choking must have marked him as guilty because Jeff continued with, "let me guess, brown eyes."

"Its complicated," Hank replied when he caught his breath, staring at the table as though it held the solution to all of his problems, "he's one of my students. I met him here though." He said tapping the paper cup, "he's a barista."

He could feel Jeff's eyes on him and he looked up. "You've got it bad, its written all over your face." Hank could feel the lecture coming, "you know you can't do anything right? At least not until the semester is out."

"I know that Jeff, jesus." The second half took a little longer to catch up with Hank, "wait what?"

"He's taking night classes right? So that usually means older students. Try talking to him outside of class, like at the shop once the semester is over," Jeff said casually, as though he wasn't suggesting that Hank talk to a guy that was younger than him but also definitely out of his fucking league.

Hank was saved from having to reply when their food arrived. Content silence followed as they enjoyed their lunch, though in the background Hank was overtaking what Jeff had said. Could he approach Connor? Would that be okay? Worst comes to worse Connor would just assume him an overly conversational customer. It couldn't hurt to try he supposed, but then again he'd always been a sucker for brown eyes.

They switched to lighter topics until it came time to part ways. Like always they parted with the half empty promise that they would do this more often. Hank giving a less empty promise that, yes he would at least try and talk to Connor when the semester was out.

Hank had left in a better mood than he had arrived in. For the first time in months he felt inspired, he wanted to write. Not for his manuscript, but maybe it was time to start a new project. Something that better fit what he was feeling, something light and happy. A short piece probably, but well worth the wait. Something that reflected the warmth that can be found in warm brown eyes.

[lordseochangbin]

lordseochangbin’s jype series smut: music producer

requested: daddy kink 

you shoved your face into the pillow, crashing onto the couch as you seemed to fail yet again at making a beat for the new track you were walking on. you dressed well today, a tight black skirt with a black denim skirt that hugs your waist but it didn’t change your mood nor your ability to make music.

honestly speaking you were new to the studio, starting off other producers saw your potential and decided to have you be the main producer for one of jyp’s newest girl groups.

this was an amazing job, considering you had left america to pursue a career and you felt you had zero confidence in actually making it in. but now here you were, having a mental breakdown in the studio after getting two hours of sleep trying to cram in a nice track before the deadline.

it was stressful.

you managed to keep your eyes open in front of the computer screen fiddling with some last minute adjustments before you could here one of jyp’s music directors come in.

considering he didn’t speak proper english and it had only been your second week into your korean class, it was hard to communicate back and forth.

“how is your work?” the director asked confidently.

you turned around in excitement from the english, not sure if you understood correctly due to the accent.

“i haven’t finished it yet, im so sorry. just give me another 2 hours ill get it done!!”

the director glared at you in confusion but by your expression figured what had happened.

“argh!” he exclaimed, “i can’t work with these american producers!”

your eyes started to tear up. this was the downside of being in korea, you always felt left out. of course korea is open to visitors but living here felt like an outsider in a different world and the fact that you had no time to do your korean classes didn’t help much.

as you whipped your tears you felt a tall blonde enter the room, his confidence gleaming almost as if he owned the room. “did you need my help?” he peeked in whispering to the director.

his hair was wet, his shirt damp of sweat from practicing with the rest of his group. it was bang chan, the leader of stray kids. part of the musical group 3racha, whose beats you had always admired.

the director came to chan and whispered a new words into his ear before turning back to you and waving goodbye. “take care...”

chan stood there for a few seconds, then walking about to the couch and sitting down. you turned around to view him from the front of your recording set.

“hi, my names y/n”

“haha, i know. i’ve seen you around! nice to meet you”

“you too!! wow im really sorry to interrupt you during practice i know it’s probably hard to cram in all this stuff an-“

“don’t worry about it. id love to help you” bang chan interrupted, pulling out his laptop.

you sat next to him as he pulled out some tracks, “here let me show you some 3racha tracks that i have.. just the music”

one of the tracks started playing causing your jaw to drop, “dude!! that beat is sick!” you praised.

bang chan’s eyes widened as he tried to pause the song, “wait this track-” you listened attentively, wondering why bang chan wouldnt be proud of it

“chan what’s the problem?” before chan could pause the track you heard the sounds of heavy moans added to the background, causing you to bite your lip

chan shut down the laptop, looking towards you in embarrassment. 

“i..i’m sorry about that y/n”

you laughed as his cheeks turned red, “pfft, sorry? that’s exactly why girls are on their knees for you chan. you’re literally the hot shot of stray kids”

chan raised his eyebrows at your response, “you think so?”

“pfft.. don’t get too flattered. that’s everyone else’s opinion”

he placed a hand on your knee, pulling himself closer to you almost inches away from your face. “maybe i could change that”

you placed a finger under his chin, pulling him even closer. “the only thing i need help with...” you pushed him to the side before continuing, “is my music”

“oh come on!” he exclaimed, grabbing your hips making you fall onto his lap.

chan pulled back from hair from your face before staring lustfully into your eyes, “y/n.. i think the first thing you need to do is get rid of that stress.”

you pulled away from his lap, lying on your stomach as you buried yourself into the pillow. you were unconvinced that chan could help you with just that before he gripped his hands onto your shoulders, massaging them gently. 

it was a few seconds of heaven as he rolled his palms on your back, “chan.. that feels so good..how did you-”

chan removed his hands, laughing as you turned around. “chan.. why’d you stop?”

“i dont think i can continue to help, you said i wasn’t the hot shot of stray kids” he shrugged, putting his laptop away.

you watched as he stood up, is he being for real?

“no wait chan-” you sighed, rolling your eyes. you approached him slowly, covering the door so he couldn’t leave

“you are.. the most hottest, sexiest, cutest member of stray kids” you continued sarcastically

“i think you forgot talented.” he said

“i think we can leave that out for today” you grabbed his hand, guiding him back to the couch.

“now help me.. pleaseeee” you pleaded.

“honestly speaking, i think you need to find some sort of inspiration”

“what’s yours? sex?” you spurted out

chans jaw clenched, making you stutter a bit. “l-look sorry i tend to be a little-”

“no..” chan interrupted, his voice low. “i get it. you think you’re funny right? flirty? with you skirt so close to your cunt.. i could fuck you over in seconds. i’m gonna tease you everyday until you break”

you laughed, slapping your hand onto his chest. “chan.. or chris. i know i’ve only been here for a few months and you might think of me as inexperienced in music, but i have to confess i am much more experienced in other things.”

you grabbed his hand, placing it under your skirt as he grabbed your thigh. “so if you think you’re ‘turning me on’ right now, or whatever the fuck you think you’re doing chan, try again” you smiled widely before standing up to grab your things and left the room.

perhaps you could say you took chan’s breath away. he had never met a girl as sexy as you. compared to the way you looked when he came to now, it was almost like you had a switch to you. you realized it to, how did his presence bring you such confidence? 

chan kept his word. with every interaction he found some way to get his hands on you, some way to keep you distracted, some way to get you riled up. but you contained all of this distress until you got home, determined to make sure he doesn’t get what he wants. 

but the dildo didn’t help.

should you give him a shot? you wondered to yourself

the question got you thinking about bang chan all night in bed until you decided to text him.

me: chan.. it’s y/n 

bang chan: aw babygirl, feeling needy now?

you read the message smirking as you imagined bang chan at your door. you thought about it, maybe he was as sexy as his fans put him out as. 

your reply said nothing of the sort.

me: no, i just needed up with music

bang chan: are you sure it’s just music y/n?

your legs started the grab the comforter, no longer being able to take the heat in between them

me: no.. i

me: i just cant stop thinking about you in between my legs. i want you so bad

bang chan: y/n.. now thats what i like to hear

bang chan: i swear to you one night i wont stop fucking you until your legs are shaking and the neighbors know my name

you gasped at the text, throwing your phone on the floor and grabbing your pillow. your cheeks flushed red at the thought of bang chan, what he was capable of. that night you went to bed thinking about him right next to you, he was even in your dreams. you had fallen in love with bang chan.

~~~

the next day around 8 am when you arrived at the jyp building you walked down the hall full of studios, interrupted by a hand that slammed you hard against the wall.

“missed me?” bang chan asked

you scoffed under your breath, “you wish” you replied before continuing the walk. once you opened the door to the studio you were off the floor and inside the arms of bang chans’. 

“this outfit of yours is really nice, for whom? i wonder” you wore a white crop top with a black and red plaid skirt, along with some combat boots to complete a cute school girl look, which obviously turned him on.

“chan..chan the music” you responded, realizing the director might come soon.

“ok i finished editing the track you need to show to the director, he should be here in 30” he said, carefully putting you on the black leather couch. 30 minutes...would that be enough?

the second he sat on the couch you couldn’t hold back anymore. you trapped him against the cushion, thrashing your lips against his, rolling your hips on him, your hands exploring all over bang chan. you wanted it all.

the kiss took him by surprise, his hands picking you up from the bottom of your thighs and lifting you onto his lap. 

your core felt like soaring fire at this point, and it being pressed against his cock didn’t help a single bit. 

“daddy please.. i need you right now. all i can think about is you. you teased me enough please” you whimpered.

“i’m sorry.. what did you call me?”

“d-daddy. please fuck me” you panted, the feeling of member growing under you was taunting. you couldn’t stand it anymore, and bang chan loved that.

“fuck.. look at my babygirl” he said, his thumb sliding across his cheeks before he could harshly grab your chin. “y/n is so good and submissive.. and its 8 in the morning, i can only imagine how much sleep you lost last night”

he forced two digits to pass your lips, “suck”. his thumb held your face straight, his eyes dark and full of need as you grind on his hips, him jerking into you every once in awhile.

soon he dragged his fingers away from your lips, leaving them to part as he removes his t-shirt and soonly after both of your clothes and thrown onto the hard floor. 

“chan.. he’s coming in 25 minutes we’re gonna get caugh-”

chan sealed your worries with a kiss, his fingers playing around your folds as he felt your bare skin against his. 

it was weird, you thought, to see him bare naked under you. his member was massive as well, the thought of it inside you leaving you to drool.

chan’s member brushed against your entrance making you grip tighter on his arms. “chan” you pouted, “just fuck me already”

your actions resulting in a few spanking from chan however, “what did you call me babygirl?” 

his voice made you whimper, your voice stuttering as you replied, “d-d-daddy... please i need you so bad”

chan smirked, “you’re not such a good girl anymore huh? always in need of daddy’s big cock”

“my daddy is the bestest” you replied innocently, taking chan by surprise when you get on all floors, yourself in between in legs as you lick a strip of his member.

“y/n...” he softly moaned your name, giving you motivation to suck on his dick. 

his hands grabbed your hair, pushing you closer to him and fucking your mouth. chan smirked as you looked up to him, the way you made him feel, like he was the most blessed man on this planet.

“you’re so beautiful” he praised as you sucked on his tip, his hips bucking as he fucked you harder. you leaned back this time, your core throbbing on inactivity, your fingers not helping a single bit. 

it was about time when you got on top of chan, sinking down on his member slowly. your teeth gnawed onto chan’s neck as you felt your walls being stretched to his size, “you’re so big daddy”

chan sped up his pace with no warning, giving you no time to adjust. your hands gripped onto his shoulders as your heard chan say, “i-i think i’m gonna cum. you sucked me off so well babygirl”

“let’s ride it off together” you said in a shaky voice. seconds later, both of you released on each other before you could hear a few knocks from the door. frantically you jumped from chan’s lap, throwing him his clothes and putting on yours.

“i’m coming!!” you replied.

“that’s what she said” chan replied with a smirk, you sending a deadly glare at him as you forced on your skirt. 

“help me with this?” you asked chan, gesturing at your zipper.

“are you wearing no underwear?” your eyes glowed as you shut his mouth, running over to answer the door. you felt relieved almost, despite your job being at stake if the music wasn’t good enough. you opened the door to see the tall man with a suit on. 

“how’d she do?” the director asked chan as he walked into the studio.

“y/n.. she was perfect.”

[mini-pretzel]

sweater weather

Genre: ooof that smut, hop on board the angst train whooo, some fluff to help you cope, humour i think? (i tried)

Music: sweater weather

Additional tags: friends with benefits to feelings, slow burn, pining, profanity, oral, teasing, spanking, dirty talk, daddy kink (ok im sorry it just happened ok?), car sex (because beds are for chums)

Word count: 14k

You and Jeongguk have that unspoken rule; just sex, no strings attached. And it’s worked well for you for years. But lately, it’s been harder and harder to keep your feelings separate.

Or

You get turned on by Jeongguk’s constant comfy look and a lot of feelings are involved.

“Fuck you.” you narrowed your eyes at him, hoping that your glare would burn a hole in his head. Your arms were crossed on your chest. “We got pizza last time. I’m sick of it.” your lips thinned. “Why can’t it be chinese tonight?”

Jeongguk didn’t look up from his Switch, too immersed in his quest; unlocking Link’s new armour. “Because it sucks, that’s why. And the one we both like doesn’t deliver.”

“Then it can be something else.” You were half a mind ready to tell him to get his ass up and go drive to pick it up because you were hungry for chinese and, goddamn, as if you were going to let him take that away from you.

You poked him with your toe when he ignored the gesture sank further into the couch with a groan. He didn’t even flinch at your touch. Still playing his game. The little shit.

Jeongguk was sitting on the floor in just a wrinkled white shirt and sweatpants, hair a tangled mess on his head. His eyes were focused as he clicked and moved the pedals around on the console. And yet, despite you being so annoyed with him, he still looked gorgeous in your eyes. Or maybe it was just you with your love for his unkempt boy look.

“I want pizza.” he whined.

You sighed, eye twitching, as you scrolled through the food app on your phone. “Anything besides pizza.”

“But I want pizza.” he repeated. God, he acted like such a child sometimes.

“And I want to punch you in the face.”

“Oooh,” he raised an eyebrow at that, and finally looked away from his game for a moment to send you a wink. “Kinky.”

You grabbed a pillow from behind your head and threw it at his face. It hit him with a satisfying thump and you sank back further into the couch in a grumpy manner. You hated nights when you two couldn’t agree on something, especially on something as simple as food.

“Oof, someone needs to get laid.” you heard Jeongguk say as he moved the pillow back on the couch with a free hand, eyes still on the screen. “Need some help with that?” you could hear the grin in his voice without even looking up from your phone.

“We need to decide on food first.” you replied, though you weren’t against his proposal in the slightest. The sudden heat in your pants told you so. Only Jeongguk could get you aroused just from one simple proposition.

“Pizza.” he mumbled and you heard yourself groan and feeling around the couch for another pillow.

“How about chicken wings?” you tried.

Jeongguk stopped for a moment, pausing his game, eyes calculating as he stared into the distance.

You almost feel pleased with yourself that you finally got to him, but then when he turned to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes and you knew you’ve pretty much lost all hope.

“What about a compromise? A chicken pizza?”

“That’s not a compromise. That’s just you getting pizza.” you frowned and huffed. “Fine, if you’re gonna be like that I’m going to get my own food. You can order your pizza, or whatever.”

“Chicken wings sound great.” he said all of a sudden, his focal attention still glued to his game as he conversed with you.

You tried to hide your grin as you knew why he agreed so quickly.

It was easier for him to give in than have to get off his ass to do something, especially when you were here. He seemed to have gotten used to you being around to take care of the small things. He was a bit of a lazy guy, but you weren’t complaining. You finally achieved a real compromise. You wouldn’t be getting your chinese and he wouldn’t be getting his pizza, but you would both be getting something else just as delicious. Everyone was happy.

“You gave in only cause you want me to do all the work, like always.” you mumbled, mostly to yourself as you punched the buttons on your phone screen to complete the order. The grin was showing a little more on your face. You liked the fact that he needed you, just a little. It made you feel appreciated, especially since Jeongguk wasn’t one for words.

“You know how it is, I do all the work in the bedroom, you do all the work in other aspects; like food.” you saw him grin as you looked up. “That’s what makes this such a great partnership.”

You quirked your eyebrow at him, almost daring him to explain himself as a silence stretched out after his words.

He must have felt your piercing gaze and gotten uncomfortable with the silence because he immediately said, “You know what I mean.” and you both laughed, mostly to ease the situation before an awkward tension formed between the two of you.

Yeah. You did. Partnership as in friendship. You both knew that despite what it might have looked like on the outside to anyone that didn’t know the two of you, this wasn’t anything close to a long term romantic relationship. Or anything romantic for that matter. It was just two friends that had a simple sex arrangement, albeit sometimes getting chicken wings because both were too lazy to cook most of the time.

You knew Jeongguk wasn’t good with the whole dating thing; he had told you so when you met him four years ago when you just got out of high school. The two of you met at a college mixer and instantly hit it off. He was cute, a little dorky, could keep a conversation going and had gorgeous eyes that immediately caught your attention.

Aside from that, he always wore the comfiest of clothes, baggy and usually dark toned, that had awakened your love of boyfriend looks; especially on him.

Interestingly, despite the bagginess, his clothes somehow still gave away that his tanned body underneath was ripped to hell. Sometimes the tshirts he wore showed the curl of his biceps when he tossed golf balls into red cups full of beer. You had always found yourself watching the way his muscles moved on him instead of playing the game whenever you were on the same team.

Initially, the two of you had begun just by being friends without any initial fucking around business, but sexual attraction was there, present and relentless, from day one. And after a year of desperate pining (from both sides, as you later came to find) and secret, sweaty masturbation sessions that only made you crave that physical intimacy just that much more, the whole ordeal had gotten past the point of undeniable.

You had wanted him, and bad. But you didn’t want a relationship. Not with the amount of school work and personal stuff you had going on. And especially not with Jeongguk, who couldn’t keep a fling going for past two days at most.

Then one night after a lot of drinking Jeongguk confessed to this pestering lust that dug away at him for the entirety of the year you’ve known each other. You were surprised to find out just how much Jeongguk had a hard time with not staring at your ass or imagining your mouth sucking him off in every situation imaginable. He hadn’t seem so dirty to you before that, despite you imagining him doing the filthiest things to you at night with your hands in your panties.

You blushed hard at him telling you how hard he would cum thinking about fucking you into the mattress or imagining your hand around his cock as you whispered dirty words in your candy voice into his ear. You were squeezing your thighs together so tightly from how instantly all of his confessions had turned you on.

At some point during the heated discussion the two of you stopped talking and stared at one another. Just then, at that moment, it seemed as though something had finally snapped, the air growing charged between you, and the both of you finally gave in to all of those repressed inhibitions. And the sex, fuck, well, it was something you didn’t know could actually be a real thing that existed.

No one before Jeongguk had come close to the tricks and shenanigans he could pull in bed, and that blew your mind especially the first time you stripped down in front of him and he went for it like an animal in heat. Nipping, scratching, licking, slapping; he didn’t hold back. The way he groped your hips and pulled your hair left you a loud, shivering mess in his arms. He completely broke you apart that night, and put you back together with a hum of his sweet voice and a gentle press of a warm towel afterwards, when your body was buzzing from your pheromone high after being fucked right for once.

After that fateful night, everything you liked to experience in the bedroom, Jeongguk could provide for you. Even the things you didn’t even know you wanted. He would always bring out to the best of his capabilities when it came to sex with you. His abilities were quite impressive, and the guy knew it too. You could tell he reveled at making you scream his name when he hit the spot just right.

Thus, your sexual relationship was born.

It was the perfect arrangement; university life was stressful. Deadlines, exams, essays, the horrible group work where nobody did anything and it was impossible to set a date to meet. So much of it had caused sexual frustration to bottle up in you. And with the tight schedule it was too demanding-- impractical, even--for you to hold a steady relationship just for the sake of getting off. Not that either of you were interested in that sort of thing in the first place. You and Jeongguk were both casual hook-up seekers. A kiss here, a touch there, a bit of a rough grind there. There was so much to explore, so many bodies to feel and experience. Especially in college.

You didn’t bat an eye when you saw Jeongguk leave with other girls at parties, because you knew exactly how it was between the two of you. He would come to you when he needed you or vice versa. Some nights he wanted someone else, and some nights you both wanted each other. And you had no doubt that he’s seen you leave with other guys as well. There was never a problem of jealousy between you, since both of you knew you had each other to lean on if either needed a quick fuck and no one else was available.

There was never anything more than that, and there didn’t need to be.

But the one thing neither of you could deny, was the pull and the incredible sexual chemistry you had between one another. So, you created an almost unspoken agreement between the two of you; you were friends, great friends that enjoyed each others company. Friends that also just so happened to fuck when things got a little too stressful or difficult to deal with at times.

The two of you would hang out and do things that your other friends in your friend group did. Like watch movies and eat out, help each other out with assignments, argue over sports and other stupid things. But you didn’t talk about feelings, you didn’t kiss or hold hands and you didn’t go on dates. You were just friends with sexual benefits.

And it was perfect.

You heard the door bell ring and as you looked up from your phone, feeling as if you were awakened from a trance. You hadn’t even been looking at Taehyung’s new instagram post, despite it being in front of you for the last few minutes, instead much preferring to let your mind ponder over your history with Jeongguk.

“Must be the food.” you mumbled, mostly to yourself as you prepared to get up from the couch.

“I got it.” you heard Jeongguk’s voice as he got up from his spot and handed you his Switch. “Kill some bokoblins for me, will yah?” he winked before leaving you dazed on the couch with his most prized possession in your hands.

You stared at his back and shoulders as he walked over to the door to accept the food delivery and felt yourself clutch the console tighter in your hands as a sudden heat spread on your cheeks.

The arrangement was perfect and had worked for you for a while.

You swallowed and tried to steady your quickly beating heart as you looked down at Link on the screen and started playing like nothing was wrong.

Well, it did, it very much did.

You narrowed your eyes on the screen, praying your heart would ease up before he returned.

Until recently.

In the last couple of months, as the end of college was approaching and a lot of reflecting was done on your part as the fear of impending doom was upon you; you had felt yourself slipping more and more into what people called feelings.

You were suddenly forced to face your future--which looked uncertain despite how fast it was approaching--and you had a lot of decisions to make in the meantime. What were you going to do with your degree? Would you stay in the same town or move? Were you going to keep going with your friends with benefits relationship with Jeongguk? And what was this thing with your heart rate speeding up whenever he looked at you?

You found yourself thinking about the guy more and more, found him slipping into your mind during the most mundane things that took place in your life. Getting groceries? You would immediately start wondering if he’s eaten. Checking out books at the library? You’d wonder if he read it and if not, what he’d think of the book. Hanging out with friends? You wondered if he would join you. Making shots at a party? You’d wonder if he was anywhere nearby watching your pouring skills at work.

Everything you were doing, Jeongguk seemed to be in the back of your mind, as if he was there living your life with you, and you found yourself pining for him in other ways than just sex. You had just wanted him nearby, with you.

And that was scaring you, because you liked what the two of you had and weren’t about to let something as stupid and fickle as emotions get in the way of a long term good thing.

But it wasn’t so simple. Your feelings weren’t easy to control, in fact they were making it quite difficult for you. No matter how much you told yourself that Jeongguk didn’t feel the same way, or that he didn’t feel anything at all (you were certain that the guy didn’t dig deep into his feelings), the heart-wrenching clutch in your chest pushed back at you, eager to be fulfilled.

And it tired you out. You didn’t want to be that girl. You didn’t want to be the one that gets involved in something as simple as friendship with sex only to fall head over heels over the guy. That was not you. You weren’t into feelings. You didn’t like feeling vulnerable with anyone.

You liked quick hook-ups, tactile satisfaction and no obligations. The only depth you wanted to feel in a relationship was how deep the guy of the night could thrust into you.

You liked being in control of yourself and your emotions, and this was not control. It was slippery slope to a disaster. And you had to regain your resolve and focus, somehow.

Maybe if you took someone new home tonight. That would take your mind off Jeongguk. You had always enjoyed the feel of a new body pressed against you. Someone new and eager to please with a whole new set of skills and pleasure buttons that you would press and undo with your touch.

Yes, that sounded like a solid plan.

“Are you listening to me?” you heard Hoseok say your name and it snapped you out of your thoughts. You blinked at stared back at him, suddenly aware that you just missed everything he talked about.

“Sorry, Hobi. I was thinking about something.”

“Uh, yeah, that much is obvious.” he laughed as you broke away from his gaze to stare at the textbook in front of you, utterly forgotten due to your insistent daydreams.

You and Hoseok had a presentation due tomorrow, but your mind kept wandering as you were going over bullet points of the main facts to present. This wasn’t like you. You were usually on top of assignments, but this new thing developing inside you had really messed with your concentration.

“Sorry about that, Hobi, I guess I’m not feeling too well today.” you apologized to him again, feeling embarrassment creep upon your cheeks as you played with the corner of the page. You withheld from meeting his eyes because you knew, you just knew, that the perceptive Hoseok would see right through you and start asking questions if you weren’t careful.

You cleared your throat, trying to shake off the fog that was Jeongguk in your mind. “What were you saying?” your grip over your pen tightened as you made movements as if you were going to write down his words.

“I was saying,” Hoseok began, and you could feel the intensity in his stare during the brief pause before he continued, “that we should include some statistics into the presentation, to help with the validity of the statements.”

You made a short note of his words. “That’s a good idea. Maybe we could make some graphs?” you added, drawing a box next to the written words, “Easy to decipher, especially in the back. Then nobody would have to read walls of text.” you explained before daring to spare a glance at him.

His gaze was as dissecting as you imagined it to be and you quickly looked back at your notes.

“You’re hiding something.”

Fuck.

You forced out a laugh, albeit a little hoarsely, which obviously showed your discomfort with the action. “What do you mean, Hobi? You’re being ridiculous.”

You heard him say your name in a firm voice, something akin to a mother’s tone used to discipline a child, and your lips tightened.

Not now, please, this was the last thing you wanted, especially now. Hoseok couldn’t know. He was already worried about Jeongguk and yours nightly escapades. Saying anything about your developing feelings into the mix would definitely stir something bad. You knew he’d blame Jeongguk even though it’s not his fault, you had wanted it. You had requested the arrangement. And it was you who was falling for him, like a goddamn idiot.

“You’re barely paying attention to the assignment. That’s not like you.” Hoseok observed, and you could feel his gaze burn into you as you fiddled with your pen nervously. “Also you have that frown on your face when you’re spaced out, and that only happens when something is bothering you.”

Fuck.

He leaned back, crossing his arms. “So, spill. We don’t have all day.”

When you remained quiet to his demand, he sighed again before saying your name again. “You know I’ll find out eventually.” you could hear his voice softening. “I just want to help before it gets any worse.”

There was that care and concern that Hoseok was known for.

You swallowed thickly, touched by his words, but not ready to divulge such a shameful secret. “Thank you, Hobi, for your concern.” you cleared your throat after a pause. “There’s some things going on that I’m dealing with, and I’m not comfortable talking about them just yet.”

It was no use to lie to him, you knew that, so you opted into buying whatever time you could to deal with these feelings before breaching on the topic again. Which you knew you would have to. Very soon. This was Hoseok you were talking about, he would find a way to bring it up again.

You looked up at him and found his eyes full of something you couldn’t quite place. They were gentle, but attentive. Hoseok studied you for a moment before shutting his lids and giving you a curt nod.

“Alright, I’ll drop it.” he leaned back toward you, eyes blazing, and placed his still crossed elbows on the table. “However, if I see you with that frown on your face again, I can’t promise I won’t try to slap whoever put it there.”

You stared at him for one long moment, knowing exactly what he meant, and who he was talking about. A small smile--a foolish attempt to ease the tension--formed on your face as you placed a hand on his forearm. “I promise, Hobi. It’s nothing serious. In a few days I’ll be just like I always am. You’ll see.”

He pursed his lips, hints of doubt showing behind his stare. But he did seem to relax a bit from your touch. “Okay, I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

“I promise, I’ll be just fine.”

You will be. After you find yourself a nice boy to help you take your mind off of Jeongguk.

“Why are we here, Jeongguk?” you heard yourself asking, more surprised than annoyed, your eyes glued to the sea in fascination. It was mid-autumn, the classes were in full swing and you had a butt load of assignments to do, yet somehow Jeongguk had managed to get you away from all of that with the promise of a late night drive.

He had somehow remembered how much you loved those. You were surprised he actually listened to you, considering how often your conversations took place over him playing video games. But he paid attention, apparently. And now you were standing on a deserted beach with the sky a little too dark and the wind a little too cold for your liking.

“You said you always wanted to go to the sea.” you heard his voice behind you and turned to meet him.

“Uh, yeah, in the summer time, you dolt.” you threw a playful punch at his bicep and he pretended to be hurt by your assault, rubbing his arm and cursing you softly in a hushed voice. He still looked good with his grey puma tracksuit and mess of a hair. So natural, so comfortable and easily kissable, it made something in your chest tighten at the thought. Oh no, there it is again.

“Hey, at least you’re here, princess.” he tried to sound annoyed and you rolled your eyes at the tease behind the nickname.

“It’s too cold to do anything.” you pointed out. “In case you haven’t noticed, it’s autumn. And autumn is usually cold.” you hugged yourself to add emphasis and shivered even though you didn’t feel that cold.

You saw him laugh. It was rich, low noise that made his Adam’s apple dance on his throat. You caught yourself staring despite not wanting to. Your heart thumped.

Oh no.

“It might be cold out here, but the water is warm.”

Yeah, right.

“I’m not going into the water. No way. You couldn’t pay me.”

He pouted, and it hurt you physically at how cute he looked. “You’re such a party pooper. You need to learn how to live.”

“Jeongguk, we don’t even have swimsuits with us. How are we supposed to swim? Do you want me to get my clothes wet?”

He grinned. “Who said anything about clothes?”

You were taken aback for a moment, with your mouth open. Then you quickly shut it and your eyes widened as his words sank in. Did he-

“Y-You don’t mean…”

Jeongguk walked closer to you and leaned in, eyes wicked and full of mischief. “Strip. We’re going skinny dipping.”

You could smell the cologne on him and it made your mind feel dizzy. Skinny dipping? In the middle of October? What was this guy on?

“Are you crazy? We could get sick!” you protested weakly as he started taking off his sweatshirt.

“Won’t happen. The water’s too warm.” He was stepping out of his pants now and it clearly showed that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Oh no.

You held your breath for a moment. You could never get used to seeing Jeongguk naked. The sculpture of his body and toned muscles, and how wonderfully defined his features were; from his shoulders to his calves and the perfect balance of proportions. Smooth and easy on the eyes. Perfect for biting, nipping and grasping on with your fingers. You could stare forever and never get enough.

“But what about after? We don’t even have towels.” your voice sounded so weak, you felt yourself slipping.

“I have some in the back trunk.”

He’s-

“You really planned this, haven’t you?” you looked at him incredulously.

He smiled and pressed himself against you, hard enough that you could feel his dick against your stomach even through your clothes. He was half-hard. Fuck. That wasn’t making it any easier. Why did he have to look so charming and pure when doing something far from it too?

“I’m not sure about this, Jeongguk.” your voice trembled, your hands tightened around you. You weren’t usually uncomfortable being naked around him, but something about this was making you nervous. This wasn’t something the two of you usually did. Or, like, ever, if you were honest.

And the novelty of it was making the thing blooming in your chest expand further. Oh no.

However, it would make sense for him to do this, it was mischievous and thrilling, like he was. The thought of being young and wild like this, and the excitement of getting caught. It was all so him, it hurt. And he would probably want to fuck after too. It made perfect sense.

You wouldn’t meet his eyes, so he placed his fingers under your chin to lift your face to face him. His eyes were dark, warm and gentle, but had that glint that was Jeongguk. Sweet, but far from innocent. You had come to know that for sure.

He said your name with the softest pronunciation, the vowels sliding off his tongue easily with years of practice and care, and you felt your knees go weak. Fuck, please, no. The way he said it had almost made you melt.

“You need to learn to let go.” you heard him speak in an even softer, breathy voice, just barely above a whisper.

You stared at him, transfixed, caught between the pools of his eyes and glistening of his lips. You swore he could easily kiss you right then and there--and you’d let him--but neither of you moved, stuck and staring. You were too frozen to move, too afraid to break the moment and have it end, but also afraid to lean in and indulge yourself in something that would ruin everything.

“A-Alright. Fine. But if I get sick, it’s on you.” you spoke, and sounded much more confident than you felt.

He laughed again, breaking the tension you felt in your chest. “Fine. If you get sick, I’ll buy you pizza.”

You smiled. “Deal.”

Then you shed your clothing, carefully placing it next to his and made your first steps to the ocean, the cold air nipping at your exposed skin. You prayed Jeongguk was right and the water was as warm as he had said.

You saw him run past you and jump into the water with a gleeful laugh, a huge splash emerging after him.

“Dude, what the hell?” you yelled as you got hit by some of the aftermath of his childlike mischief. The water had not felt as cold as you had originally feared, it was actually nice and warm, almost as if it was summer.

“C’mon, get in before I make you.” you heard his voice but before you were able to respond his hands were already on your hips and you were slung over his slippery shoulder.

“Hey- wait! Jeongguk!” you wiggled, but to no avail, his grip on you was tight. Your backside was exposed so lewdly to the air that it made your cheeks redden, especially because Jeongguk kept a steady hand on one of your ass cheeks.

He started moving further into the water and you suddenly realized what he was about to do.

“No- dude I-”

His laugh echoed in your ears followed by a loud hard smack of him hitting your ass and your blush deepened.

“Ready?”

“Wait- no I-”

And suddenly you were airborne and time seemed to stop. He actually did it. That mother-

When you hit the water and felt it go in your nose and through your hair you realized just how warm and nice it was. For a moment there was just the muffled sound of waves and comforting wetness. You could feel the water envelop itself around your body almost as if giving you a hug. It was actually kind of relaxing. The numbness of it all. You stayed under just for a moment, savoring the feeling.

You had never been able to let go like that before. This was so foreign to you, it made your skin tingle from excitement of experiencing something new. Only Jeongguk would make you do something like this; make you come out of your comfort zone like that and not hate it.

When you reached the surface again you started coughing as the water came out of your nose, moving your legs to ensure that you stayed above water. You rubbed your eyes to see that Jeongguk was also wet from head to toe was swimming around you in circles.

“You are the most insufferable person I have ever met.” your eyes stung from the salt water but there was a smile on your face as you said that. You felt alive. What has this boy done to you.

“But I was right -- it’s warm.” he looked proud.

You laughed. “I hate you.”

“I know.” he smiled, something gentle behind his eyes that almost made you give away something you didn’t want to admit to yourself. “Swim with me.”

Your heart squeezed in your chest, and that was the first time when you realized that you were falling. Falling for the boy who was your best friend. Falling for the boy you would have sex with to ease the tension in your academic life. Falling for the boy in the comfy clothes and wrinkled sheets. Falling for the boy who’s name was Jeon Jeongguk and who was slowly becoming the only person you wanted to talk to, sleep with and just be around.

Oh no.

Your eyes shot open and you found yourself staring at the darkness of your ceiling. You weren’t in the sea anymore, but in the comfort of your bed. You inhaled a strangled breath and closed your eyes trying to understand what just happened.

It was a dream, a dream of previous events that took place last fall. The night Jeongguk took you out for a drive and roped you into skinny dipping. And after that you ended up doing more than just swimming, particularly in the back of his car. If you thought about it long enough you could still remember how hot his tongue felt between your legs and how easily you came apart around him.

You whimpered.

That was also the first night you realized that you may have liked him more than just a friend and the occasional fuck buddy.

Your teeth bit hard into your lower lip.

Drat, now Jeongguk was following you into your dreams. First it was your conscious thoughts, and now he’s conquered your subconsciousness too. You almost laughed at how it was such a Jeongguk thing to do, too. That guy never half-assed anything he set his mind to. He might have been lazy in some things, but he was intense with everything that mattered to him; like video games, sex and editing on his computer.

And making sure he was on your mind 24/7, apparently.

You exhaled slowly and tried to steady your beating heart with your palm. What time was it? You tilted your head to see the green numbers stating 3:08am next to your bed.

It was quiet, save from the soft snoring coming from beside you.

Wait, snoring?

You blinked and turned your head to the side to find a guy sleeping soundly next to you. There was barely any light in the room, but you could sort of make out his features. It wasn’t Jeongguk, but he closely resembled him. That was something you hadn’t noticed when you picked him up at Hoseok’s house party last night.

You held in a groan. Great, now you were even bringing people that looked like him into your bed to try and get over him.

You were so far up Jeongguk’s ass it wasn’t even funny anymore.

You brought your hand up to your face to massage the bridge of your nose. This whole thing was ridiculous. You just wanted to go back to when the only thing you felt for Jeongguk was friendliness and lust, without all of the complicated and clingy feelings.

You heard the guy move slightly next to you before plopping onto his other side, facing away from you, and found yourself sighing.

The guy was alright. He held himself in bed fine. Was a good size too, and it definitely caught you off guard at first, but still it was nothing to write home about. You hadn’t remembered his name and couldn’t be bothered to anyway.

You hated to admit it to yourself, but despite the guy’s decent performance, he still wasn’t Jeongguk. And the fact that you were even comparing based on who he was as a person and not his skills in bed left a bad taste in your mouth.

Especially since the only reason you came was because in your last desperate moments nearing close to the orgasm you imagined it was Jeongguk fucking you and not some random guy that looked like him.

You shook your head, feeling the shame wash all over you.

You were truly fucked if you didn’t figure a way out of these feelings.

A chime of your phone broke you out of your daydream. You sighed as you put your pen down on the book, all over pages and pages of homework you’ve yet to finish. It was going to be a long evening and you were already dreading it.

You picked up your phone to check the messages, sliding past countless instagram notifications.

Tae: hey u in for tomorrow night? wings, beer and that horrible movie that jimin picked out.

You stared at the text for a moment. You always met up with the guys for movie night. Always. But now with the whole Jeongguk situation you were hesitating and didn’t think you could bring yourself to come over. What if you stare at him for too long? What if he wears his puma tracksuit again like he did that night at the beach? It was a weakness of yours and he knew it. What if you start stuttering when answering him like a fool? You weren’t that girl. You never were and damn you if you were ever start being one because of some boy.

You had to deal with this issue first before laying your eyes on Jeongguk again.

But who knew, maybe he wouldn’t be there? It was a very unlikely, but worth a shot.

You: maybe, i’m drowning in assignments. who else is coming?

You clicked to check other messages when you already got a reply.

Tae: same as always. jin, jimin & jeongguk. the whole j gang.

Your hand tightened around your phone as you typed your answer.

You: i probably won’t be able to make it this time. lots to do. sorry. let me know how it goes.

In a few moments, Taehyung responded.

Tae: alright, but u hmu if anything changes.

You: thanks, i will.

You didn’t.

“I can’t believe you made me do that.” you said, wet and shaking from the cold as Jeongguk opened his trunk to grab you both towels.

“I can’t believe you’re acting like you didn’t enjoy it.” he winked at you as he threw the towel over your head. It landed softly over your face, shielding your view of him and you raised your hands to begin drying your hair with it.

“It was alright.” you mumbled, not being completely honest. In actuality, you had really enjoyed it. Before, you had never considered skinny dipping as something you would partake in your life, or take pleasure in, for that matter. But Jeongguk had changed that. He had changed a lot of things for you, that boy.

“Uh huh, just alright.” he chuckled and wrapping a towel around his waist and opening the backdoor of his vehicle. “Hand me the clothes, I’ll toss them in.”

You grabbed the folded clothes from your underarm--the ones you folded cause he couldn’t be bothered to--and handed them to him. Jeongguk threw them in without a care and you winced at how they probably landed messily on the backseat.

“Alright, now that that’s done.” he turned to you and placed his calloused hand on the side of your neck and trailing it down your shoulder, the motion erupting goosebumps all over your body and sending heat down between your legs.

“Why don’t we do something even more fun?” his eyes darkened as he said that and you held in a whimper at how his gaze trailed your body, hungry and eager. You suddenly remembered that the only towel you had was drying your hair so you were completely naked in front of him. You felt your knees start to shake from anticipation. You wanted him all over you, for him to touch you in that way that always broke you.

“Sure, ok, yes.” You said, maybe a little too awkwardly for your liking, but Jeongguk didn’t seem to mind as he moved you by your hips, fingertips gripping your skin roughly and pushed you into the backseat.

You felt your head fall into the pile of clothes he had so nonchalantly tossed in a few moments before and decided that they would work great as a pillow. Did he plan on that? You didn’t know or care. The leather felt cold against your bare skin, but you found that excited you more than anything.

Jeongguk wasted no time climbing on top of you and spreading your knees apart, bearing all of you to him. A blush spread on your face from the action, and yet you impatiently bucked your hips up, wanting him to touch you all over. You could feel yourself dripping just from his gaze and you were shameless in your yearning.

“Please.” you begged. “Jeongguk, please touch me.”

“Mmm, how do you want it?” he inquired, his fingers trailing up and down your thighs. You shivered, a smile tugging at your lips. God, you loved how he teased you. This was just the beginning stage. Soon, his roughness would come out and just the mere thought of that made your insides squirm.

“The usual, please.”

A wicked grin spread spread on his face and he tilted his head back, hair falling over his eyes and his tongue running over his bottom lip.

“Please, what?” his hands reached your ass and gripped your cheeks roughly and spread them apart. You let out a moan, keen on being touched, on being filled, clenching your pussy lips against nothing. And you knew he could see it. See how much you wanted it, wanted him.

“Please, daddy.”

“Good girl.” you felt a hard smack on your ass and arched your back as you moaned even louder. Fuck, you loved his level of rough. It was just starting.

“Please, daddy, fill me up with your large cock.” you whined out, moving your hips, aching and desperate.

“Mmm, I love it when you beg, kitten.” he brought your thigh close to his lips for a kiss then you felt a sting from his bite and whimpered, your legs shaking.

He stared at you from his position, his eyes dark orbs that could swallow you up if you weren’t careful. And you weren’t. You never were when it came to sex with him. “Make those noises for me, kitten. Make noises for daddy.”

You nodded obediently and let out another loud whimper when his calloused fingers trailed up your wet slit. Not going in, or rubbing, but just trailing. God, it drove you mad.

A soft whine escaped your lips as he slowly moved his fingers up and down, coating them in your juices while his mouth was biting down into the flesh of your thigh. With every bite he was getting closer and closer to your cunt and the anticipation of what he was going to do was stirring in your belly.

“Daddy.” you gasped out as he stopped inches away from where you wanted him.

“Yes, kitten?” his hot breath was hitting your erect clit.

You groaned. “Eat me out, please.”

You expected him to reply, for him to say something snarky back or keep teasing you further, but he surprised you by fulfilling your request by licking a long stripe up and down your slit. And as soon as his tongue made contact with your folds it was like electricity ran through your veins.

A harsh breath escaped your throat and you bit onto the flesh of your wrist. He had always known how to use his tongue in just the right way to make you squirm under his mercy.

“Ah, ah, ah,” you felt his tongue leave you and you made your hips follow it in a desperate attempt to feel it on you again. “What did I say about noises, kitten?”

You swallowed, moving your hand. “To make them.”

“Good girl.” one of his fingers poked at your entrance and he smiled when he heard another one of your noises. “Now, will you be good and do as you’re told?”

“Yes.” you bucked your hips against his finger and felt it slide in just a bit.

“Yes, what?” the grip on your thigh got tighter.

You grinned. “Yes, daddy.”

Another slap on your ass that you relished in.

And then his fingers--yes, fingers, not one, but two--were back at toying with your entrance. He took his time gathering all of your juices on them before sliding them in and out with much more force than you expected. It had caught you off guard and the feeling stung, but the pain quickly subsided as he kissed your thighs with every stroke.

“Just like that, kitten.” he cooed as he heard your voice get louder with every thrust, his fingers making loud and wet sounds as they slid in and out of your cunt.

You eyes were shut and your whole body shook, covered in a sheet of sweat. Ugh, you needed him in you so bad. But you knew he wasn’t done yet. He barely did anything to you.

You heard him let out a grunt as he stared at his fingers disappearing into your warmth, as if mesmerized by the view. You wished you could see what he saw. He wet his lips and you bucked your hips, urging him to lick you again. And he did, enveloping his mouth all over your clit, entrapping it in the hotness of his mouth.

Your head fell back and you stared at the ceiling of the car, stars dancing in your eyes. Your hands found their way into his hair, tangling in the damp curls and tugging on the strands harshly. Fuck, how you loved his tongue.

Jeongguk moaned against your clit, slipping more fingers in you to stretch you out and you shuddered against him, broken noises trailing from your mouth. You were suddenly glad the both of you were in a secluded part of the beach, because you were sure you were much louder than you usually were. And you could tell Jeongguk was pleased about that.

“Mmm, you taste so good, kitten.” he trailed his tongue across your folds, bringing it up and flicking it teasingly against your clit, making you jerk. “Like saltwater, candy and you. I could eat you all day.”

You blushed at his words, staring into his eyes for a still moment and you felt something tighten in your chest.

Oh no.

You bit your lip, acting like nothing was wrong, like there wasn’t anything growing in your chest. “Fuck me, daddy? I’ve been such a good girl.” you smiled sweetly. “Please?”

He smirked back at you, his teeth so perfect and white. He looked so handsome with his hair wavy from the saltwater, riled up in tangles from your hands, with that mole hidden underneath his lower lip and with that smile that made his cheeks look puffy and cute, much more innocent that he actually was, but it made your heart flutter nonetheless.

“In a minute, kitten. You like it rough, right?”

You nodded.

“Then daddy needs to be rough with you first, before he fucks you into the seat.”

A rush ran down your spine and a grin spread on your face. “Be as rough as you want, daddy. I can take it. You know how well I can take it.” you glanced at him, eyes dark.

He growled and surged forward, removing his fingers from inside you. You were about to complain over the lack of fulfillment, but as soon as he was towering over your body you forgot all about it. He looked too good, the muscles of his chest and stomach displayed in front you. They were taunting you, reeling you in. You wanted to bite, taste and touch every part of him.

His lips found your neck and you smiled at the way his teeth grazed your sensitive skin, nibbling, sucking, scraping. You knew there would be a mark next time you looked in the mirror, but you didn’t care. You reveled in this. In being marked. Almost as if owned by him. Almost as if he was yours, too.

The hand that was covered in your juices squeezed one of your breasts as he left trails of wet kisses and hickeys down your throat and collarbone. And you felt yourself rub against him, against the towel that was so inconveniently in the way.

“Want me to take it off?” he asked, and you felt his smile against your skin.

“Yes, daddy.” your nails scraped against the back of his neck and he grunted, landing a harsh slap on your the side of your ass once more.

His free hand grasped his towel and it was thrown somewhere to the other end of the car. Neither of you really cared where, it wasn’t important. What was important was that his dick--thick, hard, tip red and precum leaking--was hitting against his toned stomach and your wet cunt was prepped and ready to take him.

“Please,” you mumbled, staring at him with your most innocent eyes. “Fill me up, daddy.”

He groaned, pupils dilated as he took you in and moved to position himself better between your legs. “Careful what you ask for, kitten.”

You were about to retort that you knew exactly what you were asking for when he moved away from you to search for condoms in the compartment between the two front seats.

It felt like it took forever for him to do that, but you weren’t about to complain. Safety was important. Especially for the two of you who were so sexually active with multiple partners.

“You look hot putting on the condom,” you mumbled, eyes trailing all over him as he slid on the rubber over his length. “I could stare at you all day.”

He let out a throaty chuckle. “Good to know, kitten.” and then he was towering over you again, aligning his dick against your hole with his hand. “I wouldn’t mind if you stared all day. I like an audience.”

And with a sly wink he pushed himself into you and you felt your mind go numb.

Pleasure erupted between your legs as you felt his dick fill you up, stretching your inner walls. Your eyes were swimming and your body was shaking, the wave of relief washing through your muscles. Finally. He was finally in you. Now he would be even rougher.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” he grunted and stopped after he hit the end of his length and you felt the hair around his pelvis tickle against your skin. The both of you stayed like that for a bit, savoring the proximity, the pulsing of his dick, the tightness of your walls. “I love fucking you so much.”

And then he started moving, setting a fast pace, roughly fucking himself into you and relishing in every moan that it brought out of your mouth.

“Y-yes, daddy,” you chocked on the amount of saliva in your throat, “f-fuck yes.”

You felt him breathe in your ear as he pulled you close and fucked you even harder, nails digging into your hipbones. “Fuck,” he breathed out your name, “I love it when you call me that.”

His voice sounded dangerously low and it sent chills down your spine. God, you were drowning in what this man was doing to you.

Your head was bobbing against the car door from his thrusts, but you didn’t care because the only thing on your mind was Jeongguk and how good his dick felt inside you. Fuck. He moved your hips up in his grip and that caused the tip of his cock to hit that spot. You screamed out his name.

“Louder.”

You did again.

“Louder, kitten.”

Your voice was hoarse from your lewdness, but you obliged.

“Louder.”

Fuck.

“I’m coming, Jeongguk!” you bucked your hips against him and were sent over the edge, your orgasm crashing all over you, enveloping you from the tips of your fingertips to the very end of your toes, turning your skin tingle hot in between.

You felt him tug at your hair as he sped up his pace, thrusting into you so hard you could’ve sworn you were becoming part of the leather seat under you.

“Cum for me, daddy.” you grunted out and wrapped your whole body around him, taking him all in.

And that did it. Jeongguk crashed into you in the very last of his force, his face shoved into the crook of your neck. His body twitched as he came and you felt his dick pulsing inside you with every blast. You wished he didn’t have the condom on so you could feel his hot cum filling you up inside you.

“Fuck, kitten.”

You both were breathing hoarsely, completely wasted and fucked out.

“You’re too good to be true.” you heard him say in your ear in between breaths.

Your chest tightened again.

So was he. And you couldn’t have him.

You heard your name amidst the laughter and piercing sound of the latest R’n’B song playing in the background and turned your head to the source of the sound. It was Taehyung, incredibly tipsy and swaying back and forth as he made his way toward you.

“You look as great as always, sweetheart.” he slurred out and winked which prompted a laugh out of you. Leave it to Taehying to start shamelessly flirting when drunk. He had always been the one that went his hardest at parties. No alcohol was off limits for him and shots were his best friend. You were impressed at how well he handled his liquor, you tried to out drink him one time but couldn’t keep up with his pace. The man was a monster when it came to drinking games.

“And you look drunk as always, Tae.” you smiled and held your hand out to help steady him but he waved it away.

“I’m good, sweetie. Not my first rodeo, you know?”

You nodded and let your arm drop. “What’s up? Did you need something?”

“Aside from another shot of tequila and an tight ass in my face?” Taehyung asked listing the things on his fingers. His cheeks looked so red, he must have drank much more than he let on.

You stayed quiet, an amused smile playing on your lips before he took the silence as a sign to continue. “Not much, just fulfilling a favour.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Which is?”

Taehyung looked at you expectantly. “Jeongguk is looking for you.”

You felt your heart thump hard at that and your smile faltered before you could stop it. You tried not to let the fear prickling fear show on your face though.

The truth is, you’ve been avoiding Jeongguk since last Friday night when Taehyung had texted you. The last time you saw him was when the two of you had chicken wings together. And even throughout that whole meal you could feel the thing in your chest get more persistent and you were scared you would slip up and let it show. Especially around him.

So you were dealing with it the best you could by finding different guys to take home every night you went out during that time. Which meant you left Jeongguk high and dry. Which you felt bad for, but at the same time, you needed to fix this reoccurring problem of feelings. Once that was dealt with, it would go back to normal. At least that’s what you were hoping for real hard.

However, it has already been a while since you started avoiding him, so he must have noticed. The other guys sure have; they had told you so. It became pretty clear by your repeated declining of Taehyung’s plans to hang out when Jeongguk was present. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

You realized that Taehyung was still staring at you, waiting for you to reply and you smiled sheepishly through your guilt. God, you were so in over your head with this whole Jeongguk thing. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

“Thanks, Tae. I’ll go find him.”

And off you went, on your--hopefully--fruitless search for Jeongguk in this large party full of dancing bodies and encompassing tunes. You were really trying to keep it together in case you did manage to find him. By the looks of things there was too many people for you to cross paths, and that made you feel a little bit at ease. You just needed a couple more days, then you’d be able to see him like always. Without tumbling over your stupid crush. Without getting too attached. Without wanting something you could never have.

Suddenly you heard a voice say your name in that way that always made your stomach clench. Shit.

“I’ve been looking all over for you.” his deep voice rang through your ears and your feet stood frozen to the ground. You turned your head. When your eyes landed on him your heart sped up in your chest. Damn it. Why did it have to be him?

Jeongguk stood with his hands in his pockets, completely relaxed, still sporting that comfy boyfriend look that you have always loved on him. The ripped jeans showed his knees and a bit too much of his thigh, the black tshirt looked simple but it fit him so well and made his arms look supple and tanned. He also had his black hair styled a little, but it was still messy, no matter what he did.

You swallowed and tried to look like you haven’t been hit by a train of Jeongguk, destination: fucking feelings.

“You have? What’s up?”

A playful grin spread on his face and there was a dirty promise behind his eyes. “It’s been too long, kitten.”

Oh, of course it would be that. He probably hadn’t noticed you’ve been avoiding him all this time, working through all of your bullshit attraction to him by yourself. He was probably off enjoying banging every girl he saw this past week, and now that that endeavor had gone dry he came crawling back to you. Just like he always did. Just like you always did, too, before you developed the pull for things that weren’t just sex with him.

“Ah, I see.” you said, was your voice strained or was it just you? He seemed to have noticed, but you continued. “I can’t really tonight, I already have…” you eyed around you, hoping to spot someone worthy of taking home and avoiding leaving with Jeongguk. “…plans.”

He raised his eyebrow, clearly not expecting that answer. “What kind of plans?”

“You know, I’m good for the evening. I have someone I’m leaving with.” you lied, eyes still searching for someone, anyone at this point.

“Who? Do I know them?”

That wasn’t the response you were expecting. He never asked that before. Neither of you had asked that before. Well, neither of you had denied each other before, either. But you assumed he would just believe you and let you leave with whoever you pleased. It was never a problem before.

You swallowed, the air around you seemed to have changed for some reason. The tension was growing and it was suffocating you.

“Uhm, probably not.” you laughed, trying to look relaxed, but you weren’t sure if that’s what it came across as. “I just met them at the bar a couple of minutes ago. Didn’t get a name.”

“Huh, I see.” his face was stone cold. “And you’d much rather choose them?”

Your eyes widened and something hard caught in your throat. What was going on? What that- No it couldn’t be. Jeongguk couldn’t be jealous. That wasn’t how this arrangement worked. That wasn’t how any of this worked.

You stumbled over your words as you tried to form an answer that didn’t sound like you were shaken by how he was looking at you, then you felt an arm snake around you and a new voice enter the conversation.

“Beat it. She already has someone for tonight.”

That voice sounded familiar, you turned your head and your eyes widened. Hoseok? What was he-

“And you are?” Jeongguk asked him, eyes blazing. Your eyes snapped back at him. He looked like he was sizing Hoseok up, ready to take him outside to pummel him to death. Your eyes trailed down and noticed his fists were clenched. Oh, boy. This was not how this was supposed to go at all.

Hoseok grinned and leaned in closer to press his cheek against yours. “I’m that someone.”

Something choked in your throat at his words and you spared a glance at Hoseok, eyes pleading to understand what the hell he was talking about.

You were so distracted by his bold statement that you didn’t notice how quiet everything has gotten, it was as if the music stopped playing and time slowed down around you. You swore you could have heard a pin drop in the room. Hoseok glanced at you and winked as if telling you to play along. When you looked back you were met by Jeongguk’s piercing gaze as it moved between you and Hoseok. His jaw was clenched so tight you could see the outline of his jaw muscles on his face. You’ve never seen him so angry before.

“I see.” he said curtly, voice ice cold. “Enjoy your time, then.”

And with that he was gone, pushing past a sea of people, away from your view. You heard music return, a loud bass playing through your ears. But there was something heavy in your chest as you watched him leave. You wanted to run after him and explain everything. To make it all right. To reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, it was all you and your fucking emotions that were going haywire. But you couldn’t. You had an arrangement. You were just friends. You couldn’t talk about emotions like that. It was just sex.

Your eyes stung from tears that were forming and threatening to spill.

Surely he would be able to find someone that was more than satisfactory for tonight, right? He was Jeongguk. He could have anyone. Anyone much better than you could ever be.

You blinked, wiping the few tears that managed to escape with your fingertips and turned to Hoseok. “Uh, thanks, Hobi. You didn’t have to do that.”

He looked over you and you felt his hand run through your hair, gently massaging your scalp. “Hey, it’s ok.” he smiled, eyes gentle, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You laughed hoarsely. “I think you’ve already figured it out, Hobi.”

He hummed in agreement, letting go of your hair and pulling you with him to go outside. It was a gesture you greatly appreciated as you were starting to feel too suffocated inside with all of the smell of alcohol and sweat. Your chest was begging for fresh air.

Once outside, he leaned against the rails of the porch and gestured for you to sit next to him. You did, tucking your ankles behind one another and stared out at the driveway. What a mess. Why did you have to treat Jeongguk like that? He probably would never want to see you ever again. You knew you wouldn’t after that.

“You like him, don’t you?” you heard Hoseok ask beside you in a soft whisper. It was framed like a question, but it was more of a statement and both of you already knew the answer.

You looked over at him and bit your lip before nodding, not trusting yourself to admit it out loud.

Hoseok studied you with his gaze and nodded back, his eyes solemn. “And you don’t want to be? Because you can’t be together?”

“We’re not like that…” you began, searching for words to explain why this whole situation was so difficult for you. “I- We’re supposed to be just friends that enjoy each other’s bodies. Nothing more. I didn’t expect this to happen.”

Hoseok laughed, albeit bitterly but with sympathy in his eyes. “What did you think was going to happen? You were just going to be fuck buddies until you finish college and move on? Haven’t you seen all those friends with benefits movies? How they end up?”

You smiled wryly. “I suppose I didn’t think it could happen to me. I’ve had no strings attached relationships most of my adult life, it was never a problem.”

“But this time something was different, right?” he looked at you knowingly and you felt heat rise to your cheeks.

“There’s something about him…” you mused, a small smile on your lips. “He always makes me do things I’ve never done, but instead of me getting uncomfortable with it or hating him, I enjoy it and grow.”

You heard Hoseok hum, nodding, and stared at your hands in your lap before continuing. “I feel alive with him, not just physically. It’s like I can do anything as long as he’s nearby and I want him by my side more and more.”

“And you’re scared to tell him all this because you don’t want to get rejected?”

You laughed dryly. “Oh, I know I’ll get rejected. Because he doesn’t feel the same. I’m just his best friend that he fucks when things get hard.”

Hoseok snorted at your choice of words and you rolled you eyes. “Pervert.”

“Hey, you’re the one that said it that way.”

“Anyways,” you stared unamused at his sheepish smile, “he doesn’t see me as anything more than that, and I don’t want to ruin everything we have over some feelings that could evaporate as fast as they appear.” you said bitterly. “I don’t trust emotions, they never stay.”

Hoseok opened his mouth and looked like he was about to say something, but held back and cleared his throat. “So what are you going to do?”

“Avoid him, kill these feelings and go back to how things were.”

“And what about after that?”

You looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“College is coming to an end for you, haven’t you thought what comes after that?” Hoseok pried, “Say you do manage to get rid of these feelings for Jeongguk, would you still keep the relationship going even after college? Do you even know if you’re staying here after?”

“I don’t.” you admitted, feeling like shit. “But it’d be easier to keep a no strings attached relationship going than a romantic one. Not that there’s a chance for it to develop into that anyway.”

Hoseok said your name and you met his eyes. “First off, stop trying to speak for him. You don’t know how he feels. You’re just telling yourself all this to hurt yourself because you feel guilty for enjoying something that happens naturally.”

You swallowed, taking his words in, but didn’t speak.

“Second,” Hoseok raised two fingers before continuing, “Figure your life out. Find out what you want, who you want, and whether you’re willing to try this with him.”

You heart skipped a beat at the thought.

“And third,” he raised another finger, “Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. You’ll need to anyways, regardless of what you choose to do with your life. Because he deserves to know what’s been going on with you.”

He saw you biting your lower lip in fear and sighed. “You at least owe him an explanation, it’s not just you who’s hurt here.” his eyes looked at you sadly.

You were silent for a moment, before you opened your mouth in defeat. “You’re right, Hobi.” you felt a tear slid down your cheek. “Like always, you know jut what to say.”

“Damn straight.” he wiped your tear with his finger.

“I should’ve told you all this weeks before.”

“Damn straight, you should of. I would’ve stopped you from letting it get to this point.”

You felt his hand on yours and him giving it a light squeeze. “Hey, it’s ok. We all fuck up in life, it’s part of learning.”

You laughed, your voice quivering. “Do you think he hates me?”

“Jeongguk?” Hoseok asked and shook his head. “No, I think he’s just upset. He cares about you. I don��t even know the guy that well, but I could see it. He’s been looking for you all night.”

You weren’t sure if that bit of information made you feel better or not. Perhaps not. Or perhaps the whole thing was bittersweet.

“Alright. I’m gonna go home and figure my shit out.” you said, sniffing, and stretched your back. You had a lot of thinking to do. A lot of words to scribble on pieces of papers before you could find the right thing to say to Jeongguk.

“I’ll drop you off.” Hoseok offered, wrapping his arm around you as you walked down the porch.

You nodded your head. “Thanks, Hobi. For everything.”

He smiled brightly. “Anytime. What would you do without me?”

“Probably still be bringing in Jeongguk look-a likes into my bed in hopes of getting over him.”

“Ew, tmi.”

“Haha, sorry.”

You: We need to talk.

Your fingers shook, palms clammy as you send that message. You hoped he was available. You were finally ready to face everything about what got you so twisted in this situation. And you were hoping he had calmed down enough to at least hear you out. That’s all you needed.

Jeongguk: I’m busy.

Your heart sank.

You: It’ll just take 5 mins. Please.

You set your phone down in your lap, hearing the waves crash in front of you and prayed, for the first time in your life, for some kind of cosmic force in the universe to convince him to see you, just one more time.

Jeongguk: Where are you rn?

Oh thank god, or whatever deity that processed your prayer in such a timely manner. Love and prosperity onto them. Bless.

You: At the beach. The one we went to last fall.

Jeongguk: ?? The hell? What are you doing there?

You: Sitting. Get your ass here so I can explain myself.

You imagined him smiling at your text, hopefully. Maybe it was funny. Maybe he didn’t hate you as much as you thought he did. You hoped he still tolerated you enough to come meet you. Or who knows maybe he hated your guts. The next text would tell you for sure.

Jeongguk: omw

Thank god.

You smiled as you read the text and slid your phone back in your pocket. You then took out a stack of pages of your thoughts and feelings to flip through as you waited.

So you might have lied about it taking five minutes. Yes, you were full of shit, but you could maybe try to summarize some key points to tell him. As if it was a presentation. Of your feelings. Wow, so that was a thing that was cringy. Jeez, you really were turning into an emotional mess.

It took him around ten minutes to get to you, and you could hear him stepping down the flight of stairs as he made his way down to the little blanket you had splayed out on the sand.

You felt him sit down next to you, crossing his legs and tore your gaze away from your scribbles to look at him. Your breath caught in your throat. He looked so devastatingly good, like he always did.

The leather jacket he sported looked too good on him, with a grey hoodie underneath and tight ripped jeans with black boots. Comfort and bad boy vibes all in one, you were blindsided for a moment.

Jeongguk cleared his throat. “Well? You said you wanted to talk?”

Was it just you or did it look like he had bags under his eyes? Was he sleeping enough? Has he been out partying the last couple of nights? You hoped he took care of himself without you, you knew how much he hated cooking.

God, that made it sound like the two of you were together… No wonder you fell for him so hard.

“Ah, yes.” you swallowed a large sum of saliva down your throat that you didn’t know you had before moving to face him, crossing your own knees. “I wanted to start by apologizing for blowing you off that night. That wasn’t cool.”

He shrugged, playing with one of the threads of the blanket. “It’s whatever, I found someone else. No big deal.”

Jealousy burned in your chest, but you swallowed, trying to calm it down. Take a breath, you’re here to apologize, not get possessive. Get your shit together.

He wouldn’t meet your eyes, so you continued.

“I also wanted to apologize for avoiding you before that too. That wasn’t cool either, friends don’t do that to each other.”

A wry smile spread on his face at the word ‘friends’, but he didn’t say anything. You cleared your throat, hating how awkward the whole situation seemed. He really wasn’t helping you. You had to crawl out of this mess yourself.

You braced yourself.

“And I also needed to tell you that I fucked up.”

That got his attention, he stopped playing with the fabric and raised his eyes to meet yours, they were full of confusion. He looked so cute with that face, you fought the urge to kiss him. Fuck, not now. This was important.

“I fucked up with our agreement,” you explained, “We were supposed to be best friends who occasionally helped each other get off. Just sex and that’s it. There wasn’t supposed to be anything beyond that.” you bit your lip, looking away from his gaze, not ready to look at him with what came next, “But I fucked it up by falling for you.”

He didn’t say anything, and you could hear your heart thump hard in your chest at your confession. Fuck, okay. It’s not over yet. Fuck, fuck.

You had to remind yourself to keep breathing.

“It started when you took me skinny dipping here,” you motioned to the sea, your eyes lost on the horizon. “I’ve never done anything like that before, and to be honest, I don’t think I would ever have if you hadn’t made me.” you smiled a little at the memory of how you felt underwater.

“It was the first time I let go, and it really made me think about a lot of things.” you tugged at your sleeves. “About how alive you always make me feel. And how I don’t mind you pushing me to try new things. I enjoy it, in fact.”

You still avoided looking at him, you were doing good. So far you were able to talk without fucking up. It was going good. Onto the next point.

“However, I realized that I should not harbor such feelings as it would endanger our friendship, and, well, just make things complicated in general.” you bit the inside of your cheek before continuing, “So I tried to deal with them before they caused any trouble.”

You let out a dry laugh. “Didn’t really work. I found myself taking home guys that looked like you and thinking about what you were up to constantly. It was kind of ridiculous.”

You thought you heard him snort softly, but it was hard to tell with the sound of the waves crashing.

“So anyways, while that was going on, I tried to ignore you in the meantime in fear of slipping up and you finding out about these, feelings, and well,” you laughed, “that clearly wasn’t a good strategy either, cause I should’ve expected sooner or later you’d want my company again and find me, despite my futile attempts.”

You let out a long breath. “So, here we are, awkward and uncertain about what’ll happen now.” your lips thinned. You still couldn’t look at him. “I just want to apologize for not telling you sooner and instead acting like a child. I didn’t mean for all this to happen.”

You felt your eyes stinging, fuck, no. Not now. Really, it was the worst time for you to start crying. Get it together. You’re almost done.

“It’s just-” but the tears started to spill. Ah, fuck.

You laugh at yourself, wiping them with the sleeves of your shirt. “Look at me, I don’t even have my life together; I don’t know what I’m doing after college, I don’t know who I want to be or what I want, and now I’m crying over a simple talk that most people would’ve finished with by now.” you shook your head, chest feeling tight. You took a deep breath.

“It’s just… the only thing I’m sure of,” you hiccuped and gulped, “is that you’re the only thing that make sense in my life.”

After that you finally dared to look at him. Once your eyes landed on him your breath caught in your throat. Jeongguk was looking at you with such wide glassy eyes, it stopped you in your tracks. You had more you wanted to say, but with just one glance you were stricken wordless.

Time around you seemed to slow down, and you focused in on him, on the bits of tears that stained the sides of his eyes, the slight agape of his mouth. How he was looking at you, as if staring into your soul, and not moving.

You felt your heartbeat thumping in your ears as you saw him leaning in closer to you. Up to the point your noses touched. He was so close you could feel his warm breath on your lips. Your eyes were glued to him. He was all you could see.

“Do you mean that?” he said, so softly you could barely hear him.

You choked a little and nodded, making your noses rub against each other at the motion.

And he was kissing you. Your eyes shut as you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. He pulled you closer in his tight hold around your waist.

His lips were so soft and warm, and he kissed you like he was out of breath and needed oxygen, as if it was something he was born to do. You wrapped your legs around his frame and sat in his lap, just wanting to be close. As close as you could get.

His hands trailed up and down your back, slipping underneath your shirt to run across your skin. You shuddered.

Tears kept spilling, staining your cheeks and his. But neither of you stopped, you kept kissing until your lips were swollen and you both needed pull away to breathe.

The both of you rested your foreheads against each other, taking short breaths and eyes locked.

“I-”

“Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” he said, gasping against your face.

Your cheeks reddened. “You have?”

Jeongguk smiled, “Yeah, but you said no kissing when we made that damn arrangement.”

You had felt foolish, so absolutely foolish. “I’m sorry.”

He pecked your lips.

You blushed and found yourself asking, “So, do you like me?”

Jeongguk raised his eyebrow at you and smiled. “What do you think?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d ever like me like that.”

“Stop saying sorry and just kiss me, you dolt. That’ll make up for it.”

Before you could respond his lips were on yours again. And you found yourself not really minding that. Or however many times it’ll take for you to make it up to him.

“Fuck you.” Jeongguk groaned. “I want chinese.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. “And I want pizza.”

The two of you were sitting on his couch, a bunch of take out fliers spread out around you, arguing over what to have for dinner once again. Somehow it felt familiar, almost like a routine. And something about that made your heart squeeze affectionately at the thought.

“How about this,” you stared at him seriously, “A compromise; we get a chinese flavoured pizza.”

Jeongguk threw a pillow at your face, his face unamused. “That’s not a compromise, we’ve been over this. That’s you getting your pizza.”

You cackled at him, clutching the pillow to your chest as he tried to grab it from you to throw it at you again.

“Fine, how about chicken wings?”

He stopped trying to pull the pillow away from you at that and smiled his beautiful smile that made your heart race every single time.

“That sounds perfect.” he said as he grabbed his phone to place the order.

And, for once, it was; perfect.

[kackmack]

Fake Smile

Rowan x Aelin

Chapter 9

“WHAT THE FUCK? YOUR DATING HER” Fenrys roared barging into Rowans office. Rowan didn’t shift his face from his computer. “WHITETHORN”

“What?” Rowan answered flatly finally looking up.

“Aelin! You asshole!” Fenrys barked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rowan tried not to smirk but as the weekend’s events flashed over his eyes he couldn’t help it. Aelin and Rowan spent the whole weekend cooped up in his apartment, not even venturing out for food, having delivery and movies on his tv in the background as he couldn’t even keep his hands off her, kept them both in bliss until the hard hit of Monday morning had him leaving her in his bed so he could go to work. He desperately wanted to stay, but with the deadline coming up he just couldn’t risk a setback.

“Don’t play dumb! She was here!” Fenrys clutched his hands on his sides nearly shaking. Rowans face fell as he realized Fenrys normal goofiness was replaced by rage.

“How do you know that?”

“Your assistant was blabbing off about a cute blonde waiting in your office. What the hell Rowan! You were the one telling me not to go after her.”

Rowan knew he was truly fucked and couldn’t act like he didn’t know what Fen was talking about. “You need to calm down, you had like two conversations with her.”

“Yeah! And I liked her. You dick. The one girl you date. REALLY?” Fenrys snapped back. Rowan knew Fenrys was mad but he really didn’t have to be this loud or aggressive. Rowan didn’t owe him an explanation so he just kept his face blank.

“We’re not dating.” Rowan truly didn’t know what he was doing with Aelin. Every day Rowan felt more, cared more. It hadn’t hit him that they hadn’t labeled it.

Dating? He hasn’t even taken her out.

Together? No he hasn’t had that conversation with her.

Just fucking? Nope he knew he had feelings for her. Deeper than lust.

“Oh? You’re just fucking her? Fuck you dude. You could have anyone. You could have your damn assistant!” Rowan clutched the papers on his desk to keep from throwing something at Fenrys.

Rowan calmed his nerves and set the papers down as he calmly said “Aren’t you hooking up with the girl from Human Resources? You have like four girls you like at once. Go find someone else. Don’t come at me like that because Aelin didn’t want you.”

“And what? She wants you?” Fenrys scoffed and Rowans blood started to boil. “She’s like half your age. You’re an old brute. All you’re going to do is hold her back and waste her time. You just want her because she’s a new shiny toy. You’ll drop her as soon as you get bored.” Fenrys had already slammed the door behind when Rowan threw his stapler.

Hours later, Rowan still couldn’t focus, barely able to do his work as his mind kept going back to the words Fenrys spat at him.

“You’ll hold her back.” “Waste her time.” Rowan tried not to think about how she truly was much more than he thought. She’s witty, wicked smart, kind, and she opened up to him. Rowan hasn’t had many people open up to him much less him to others. His appearance, his hight, his bulkiness, his tattoos, his ever so firm resting angry face scared people away. He liked it that way. Seeing people avoid him in the streets, avoid his eye contact as he spoke, or people down right being intimidated fed his ego.

But she was never intimidated by him, everything that drove people away from him just lured her in. Aelin was some kind of light, a fire and he couldn’t bring himself to realize he’ll be the one to snuff out her spark.

Rowan knew he had to let her go. Let her be happy with someone near her age, that could share the life experiences that will shape her into a beautiful woman. Rowan didn’t want to admit it but he knew Fenrys was right.

Rowan finally had the inkling to call her as he left his office. He had avoided all her calls and text as he mulled over the words from Fen. Didn’t even want to read the messages she left him as he dialed her number.

“Hey baby.” Aelins voice was light and airy as if she’d been waiting for his call all day. Rowan clenched his jaw as his heart strained.

“Aelin.” Rowan couldn’t bring himself to say anything else.

“Rowan, what’s wrong?” As if just the sound of his voice gave him away. As if she knew the change of his voice by heart.

“We can’t do this anymore. Aelin we can’t see each other.” Rowan was trying to keep still as he sat in his car, still parked at his office.

For a moment Aelin remained silent. Like she was letting his words settle into her, letting the words enter her heart slowly.

“Why?” She finally spoke, almost a whisper.

“You deserve so much more than me. Aelin I’m too old for you. I’ve lived already and you haven’t.” Rowan let out a deep breath as he spoke.

“You’re only seven years older than me what are you talking about?”

“Aelin don’t make this harder than it needs to be, we’ve only known each other for a month now.”

“You know what Rowan fuck you! I fell for you!” Aelin snapped. Rowan couldn’t believe what he just heard. As those word hit him like a brick in the face.

“I know you have feelings for me Rowan. I know you do. Don’t lie to me.” He couldn’t lie to her he couldn’t tell her he had not felt anything for her. “I know my age. I know yours. I have no problem with it. It seems like you do.” Its more than that. “Rowan don’t act like youre doing this for me. You’re doing it to keep you’re piece of mind. I get it. But im tired of this game Rowan. I’m tired of wanting you and you running away. Pushing me away and pulling me back in. Rowan choose to have me or not to. Choose me or don’t. Figure your shit out!” he heard the click as she hung up.

Rowan couldn’t help but punch his steering wheel enraged.

….

Aelin threw her phone clear across the locker room when she hung up. What the hell was that? Why do this?

Aelin was just about to start training when Rowan called. She couldn’t help her big smile when she saw his name on her phone, her butterflies crept up as she answered and it was quickly ruined.

After a bit of training.

“Ow what was that for?” Aelin spat as Dorian smacked her on the face with his training glove.

“You’re not here Aelin.”

“What the fuck Dorian? Obviously I’m here.”

“No Aelin your mind is somewhere else. I told you when you step into this gym, when you train with me. You keep your problems at the door and train.” Dorian said as he smacked her again.

“Fine!” And before Dorian could block, Aelins gloved fist came flying to his face. Ignoring the training glove completely.

“Okay not to my face but yes please focus.” So Aelin gave it her all.

After about thirty minutes of fighting, Aelin had finally stopped for a brake.

“Dorian I need you to come to Aedion’s and Lysandras wedding with me”

“Are you asking me to be your date?” Aelin rolled her eyes as he smirked.

“Uh I guess”

“Aw I’m sorry. I was invited and I already asked Mannon…. Aelin don’t make that face.” Aelin didn’t realize she scrunched up her nose at the mention of her old opponent.

“She acutely likes you, you know. Aelin give her a chance. It wasn’t her that beat you up in the alley, it was her damn following.”

Aelin had asked Rowan to the wedding a few days ago and he surprisingly said yes, even offering to go with her to the rehearsal dinner, it made her heart flutter how he wanted to be there for her.

Seems like plans changed so she’ll be going to both alone.

…

When Rowan finally got home, he actually went straight to bed. It seemed like today had been a little to exasperating so he made his way to his bed as soon as he was showered.

As he laid back he noticed his senses riling up, her sent was woven into his comforters. They had spent most of the weekend in his bed so he shouldn’t be surprised to smell her on it, he just didn’t think it would hit him so hard.

Rowan clutched the sheets to his face as he remembered her lips on his. Remembered his hands all over her, his tongue all over her. Remembered her moans, her saying his name so breathlessly.

Rowan picked up his phone and noticed he had three text messages and one voicemail from Aelin waiting for him.

TEXT: Hey baby good morning, I hope you have a good day!

TEXT: I saw this silver Hawk stuffed animal and thought about you.

(Picture attached)

TEXT: I know you’re busy, I hope you’re not stressed call me after work?

Voicemail: “Hey I know you probably won’t listen to this till later today but Im at lunch and I just wanted to say I want to see again Rowan.”

Rowan read the text and heard the voicemail at least hundred times before falling asleep. He tried, he really tried to tell himself what he did was for the best.

…

Aelins limbs were trembling as she took off her clothes in the locker room. She had gone harder than she had in months in the ring today. Telling Dorian “Again” after every break they had. They had been sparing for at least three hours before Dorian had grunted “ Enough”. She couldn’t help it. She needed to get all her stress out, her favorite outlet to let it all go. But tonight it had done nothing but make her arms and legs burn.

Aelin hated showering at the gym, the water was always freezing, Dorians father was so tight with his money he didn’t even buy a water heater. “it’s the best for my fighters” No hes just cheap.

Tonight though the freezing water hitting her bare skin was honestly a welcomed pain. Let all her limbs soak so the fire could ease. Aelin just stayed in the shower for an ungodly amount of time until she was shaking to the bone.

Authors Note: To my coworker that found my fanfiction… please don’t hate me

xxx

Tag list: @flowersinvegas @shadowstar2313 @heir2chaos@heymichelle360@aelinchocolatelover @captain-timetraveldreamer@rowaelinforeverworld 

[pecavae]

Office Visit (M) ft. Yoongi

Yoongi x Reader Smut/Fluff/Light Angst

A/N: I was not expecting it to turn out the way it did. Honestly though the end turns super fluffy (beware) but hey I can dream can’t I. Anyways Hope you enjoy! ^.^

Warning: Dirty Talk, Oral,  Office Sex

Word Count: 3.5K

You nibble on your finger nervously, contemplating whether or not you should interrupt him with a text, knowing well Yoongi didn't like to be disturbed while he worked. It's been twelve days! You tell yourself. Deep down you know he's been busy with work but you can't help yourself at this point. Solos aren't cutting anymore as your body begins to yearn for your boyfriend's attention.

You stare intently at your phone screen, your eyes focusing on the contact name that read Yoongi. You chew the inside of your cheek and your fingers begin moving at their own accord in a brisk yet very hopeful attempt.. (10:39) I miss you, can you come over? (10:41) Not tonight baby girl. Working. You pout at the screen in disappointment sighing loudly and the noise echoes through your empty apartment. You really did miss him, so much your heart would hurt at the thought of not being able to see him. Feeling that pestering bubbling pain begin to rise inside but you didn’t want deal with it, so instead you head for the kitchen and pour yourself a large glass of Roscato. You sat near the fire place hoping it'd bring some sort of comfort to you as you ran your thumb across the top of the wine glass. Your mind began wondering back to the times you had together. Yoongi was a great boyfriend, you both bonded deeply over shared interests including music, which was actually how you two started talking. It was a small party among mutuals. One of your close friends Jin was playing the guitar, he'd somehow convinced you to show up at the party but you immediately felt out of place thinking you didn't fit in with the obvious wealthy people Jin had befriended while going to a top University. They all sipped champagne and talked amongst only themselves, but still, you enjoyed listening to Jin play but you kept getting distracted by the women whispering things to each other while staring right at you, trying to decide whether or not you were worthy enough to talk to. Rolling your eyes you stood near where Jin was playing and a guy dressed in all black, with hair to match, caught your eye as he too listened to your talented friend play. "He's gotten good." He said smiling softly as he turned to look at you. "You know Jin?" Surprised you took a glance at his face. His perfect milky skin contrasted the black so well as his small sharp eyes studied your face with slight amusement. "Of course I do, that crazy bastard and I were roommates. We used to go down town and play for bars." He kept his gaze on Jin but when he glanced at you, his lips would turn upwards in a cute boyish smile with a hint of mischievousness. "You played?" "Piano." "Were you two any good?" You kept your eyes on his face captivated by his small cat-like eyes, every sharp yet soft feature had you in awe. He gave a breathy laugh and looked down nostalgically. " I guess. We’d use the money we earned and get shitfaced drunk afterwards." You giggled loudly at this and catching the way his eyes had become fixated on your mouth. You intentionally licked your lips and tried to suppress a smile by biting your lower lip. "I'm Yoongi by the way." "I'm (Y/N)." After that you both kept talking; he'd bring you a couple of drinks as you'd discuss your college life and he mentioned he had majored in business to eventually take over the family company. You didn't plan on things escalating that night but somehow you ended up fucking in the back of his black Jeep Commander. He asked for your number and soon after began dating.

 You'd been dating for three years now. You were inseparable at first, fucking everywhere you could. Bathrooms, closets, his office. He was exceptional when it came to sex, never disappointing you. He once ate you out for what seemed like hours bringing you to an orgasm over and over again. But then the fucking slowed as he became more and more consumed by his work. He'd work late and come home exhausted. Now it was a rare occasion that he would come over to your apartment late at night and wake you just to fuck, and you loved it. Like all the pent up frustrations caused from work became too much and he would just release his stress. You could momentarily feel a weight being lifted off his shoulders because he could finally relax with you being there with him.The mere memory of it made you press your thighs together and let out a sad moan. Afterwards Yoongi would tend to you sweetly and cuddle which was an even more rare and treasured thing for you now. He'd make love to you like no one else ever had. You loved him. So much it scared you sometimes. 

By the fourth glass of wine you get an idea. You head for your closet and pull out a black lingerie set you had bought for Yoongi a couple of weeks back for Valentine's Day but when he had an emergency flight to Seoul your surprise had to be postponed. You let your hair down, letting it flow naturally and opted for minimal make-up, just like he liked it. You put on a knee-length beige coat over yourself and you down your glass of wine for an extra boost of confidence. You look at your-self in the mirror and hope he likes your unexpected visit. But with Yoongi you learned to always expect the unexpected when it came to him. You call for a taxi to take you to his office building where he'd spend days on end working on important business deals. Hence why you rarely saw him for periods of time. The building was pretty much empty with the exception of a few workers having to pull all-nighters to meet their boss's deadline. Thankfully minimal glances are cast towards you and you make your way through the building as unnoticeable as you could possibly make yourself--your heels weren't exactly helping with that though. You get on the elevator and it carries you to the top floor where his office was. Your pounding heart and edging nerves were clear indication of you getting more and more excited the closer you got to his office. The anticipation was killer. You start nibbling on your fingers again as the elevator nears its stop. As soon as you get off however, you immediately hear his voice down the hall. He sounds upset and from what you can make out from outside the door he's on the phone with someone and he's obviously not happy with what the person on the opposite line has to say. Crap maybe this wasn't a good idea. Your hand somehow finds itself on the door handle before you can hesitate further and you open the door as quietly as you could. 

He's standing, facing the large window that overlooks the city, his voice curt and low; he was really upset. A flashback enters your mind as you recall him fucking you against that very window, making sure you screamed loud enough for everyone in the building to hear. Fuck you missed those days. You briefly wonder if he'd ever repeat that night with you. Oh how'd you be more than compliant in said case. Your breath hitches as your brought back to the present. Your eyes start at his back as the tight black button up stretches over his shoulders and arms. Fitting him like a glove. Black had always been Yoongi’s color. Your eyes begin to wonder down to the evident curvature of his small ass. You bite your lip as you watch him. Fuck how can you still be this turned on by him after all this time and when he's not even looking at you? The sound of his low growly voice excites you and you can't help your hand as it travels down to your covered pussy leaning against the door frame for support. Maybe it was the wine not making you not think straight because you don't measure the consequences of doing this with not only him not knowing but having the door slightly open as well. Any one coming off of the elevator would be able to see you. The idea of this being super risky and not knowing how he will react turns you on beyond belief.  You're too busy focusing on your body starting to buzz slightly and your explicit imagination running wild that you close your eyes and don't hear him end his call. "(Y/N)?" Your eyes flash open and you see him staring at you. You try to collect yourself, leaning off the door frame. "Y-Yoongi, I-" You stammer as you search for an explanation. "What are you doing here?" His brows furrow slightly and you stare down at your fidgeting fingers. "I uh, missed you and I wanted to come see you." "I told you I was working." His voice sounds calm. "I know, I just...I wanted to see you." His eyebrow cocks up and his eyes travel up and down your body, inspecting you. "What were you doing?" He asks and you feel your face getting red hot. You look up at him and notice his serious face but you see a distinct lustful look in his eyes daring you to tell him exactly what you were doing and you feel a slight tingle in your lower stomach. Of course he looked beautiful, he always did, you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at the unfairness as well as the frustrating fact that you wanted him so badly. You bite you bottom lip and pout slightly "Im sorry baby, I just really needed to see you. He continued to stare at you, his small lips twitching at the corner. He walked casually to his chair and sat down leaning on one hand while the top of his finger lightly slid over his lips from left to right, like he was considering you, amusement in his eyes. "Why don't you close that door and come closer." He motions with his index finger. You do as he says and near his desk slowly as he watches your every movement like a hawk. "Show me what it was you were doing." "Here?" Your eyes widen slighlty. "Yes. Here. You obviously had no problem coming here while I was working. I want you to show me why you wanted to see me." He smirks devilishly. You bite your lip trying to hide a shy smile creeping up your lips. You unbutton your coat and drop it over your shoulders letting it collect at your feet. You're rewarded by a sharp hiss that comes from Yoongi's lips and you pear at him through your eyelashes. You see him shift slightly in his chair but other than that he seems calm except his eyes were piercing through you, skimming your body up and down and you feel your skin burn up despite the chill air of his office. You know he's loving this. "You look lovely baby." "I bought this for you." you say innocently, "Is that right?" "I couldn't stop thinking about you, I missed you so much." You say running your hands over your shoulders and down your chest. "What were you thinking about?" "I was thinking about your mouth on me, your hands touching my skin but mostly, I think about how your cock feels inside me." His eyes widen momentarily but he hums in approval. He moves his hand down his body and grips himself over his tight black pants. "You want my cock baby? Is that that what you want?" You nod innocently while wetting your lips and you can feel your self practically dripping. "Come sit on my lap then." You breathe heavily and go around his desk to where he sat. Tucking your hair behind one ear as you bring your leg over his lap and straddle him. Being this close to him again makes your heart pound as his amazing scent envelops you, driving you wild as all your senses focus on him alone. He looks at your face and brings a hand to your neck, his thumb caressing your cheek and along your collarbone. You close your eyes at the feeling of his touch sending electricity shooting down to your core. "Have you been a good girl without me." You nod slowly, your eyes still closed. "Did you touch yourself?" "Only at the thought of you." You grind slightly in his lap and grin internally at the hardness that greets your pussy. "I'd come so hard every time, but i'd always wish you were there to make me come even harder again." He smirks devilishly at you and bites his bottom lip hard and your insides tighten as his eyes drop to your chest. The hand he had resting on your neck slid down to your breasts agonizingly slow as he began pulling the thin lace down with his fingertips exposing you hardened nipple. He ran his tongue on his bottom lip as he rolled your nipple between his thumb and index finger causing you to whimper lightly and making him look up at you. "You're so beautiful baby." He whispers before he leans in and takes the sensitive bud between his lips, flicking at it with his tongue, making you twitch. You bring your fingers up to his hair fisting it lightly and tugging at it upwards as you lean down to kiss his neck knowing he'd like it. A small low moan makes his throat vibrate and you feel it on your mouth. His fingertips slide up your spine to the nape of your neck and grabs the hair, pulling it gently. "Sit up for me." You stand up as he slides his chair under you then lifts your ass onto his desk and he sits back down lifting your legs and placing them on the arm rests. He grips a thigh with each hand making you spread wider as he stares at your soaked panties bringing up his middle finger and rubbing small circles at your center. Supporting yourself on your hands you tilt your head back and half moan half sigh through your nose. "I love how easy you get wet for me baby." You hum approvingly. "Always." His fingers drag your wet panties down your legs. He wastes no time as he digs into your center. His tongue lapping up your juices, flattening it as it travels up and down your slit. He takes your clit into his mouth taking turns licking and sucking at it. He immediately inserts two fingers in you and begins pumping them in and out slowly. "Ah fuck Yoongi." He curls his fingers up and makes scissoring motions grazing your g-spot. Moaning into you he to sending vibrations into your lower belly. "F-uck ah" You can't get yourself to form coherent words only becoming a moaning mess. He begins pumping in and out quickly with his fingers slightly hooked upwards.

Your orgasm hits you out of no where like a truck and you scream Yoongi's name gripping his hair as you buck your body wildly. He flattens his tongue letting you ride out your orgasm with his face. Exhausted from your unexpected orgasm, you collapse back onto the desk breathing hard as Yoongi stands and begins unbuckling his belt. You open your eyes and look at his face glistening with your arousal that he doesn't bother wiping off while sucking you off of his fingers. He looks down and pumps himself a few times coating himself with you and connects his body with yours, and in one swift movement he’s lodged himself in you. The stretch feels amazing and you both groan loudly. "Shit baby you feel so good.." He begins moving into you slowly in circles because your still too sensitive from your previous high. You moan contently at the feeling of his hands caressing your body, you lift your back up allowing him to unclasp your lace bra leaving your chest completely exposed to him. "God you're perfect." He leans down to kiss you and you openly kiss him back. You've grown accustomed to the taste of your arousal and so you focus on Yoongi's delicious taste and smell that you could never get enough of. He starts picking up speed making your moans increase, urging him to go faster. He bottoms out and you begin to hear the sound of skin on skin as he lets out breathy moans staring at you with half-lidded eyes. You wrap you legs around his waist and your arms around his back digging your nails into his soft flesh. Your jaw is open, both of you breathing rapidly as he drills into you while staring into your eyes. You cup his face wiping his sweaty bangs off to the side. "I really did miss you." "I know baby trust me I did too." He smiles at you for a moment but his face scrunches up when you squeeze your walls around him. "Fuck." "You like that?" You bite your lip innocently. "Fuck baby girl you know I do." You giggle but that too turns into a moan when he picks up full speed in you. "Oh fuck. Fuck Yoongi!" You feel yourself building up and because Yoongi knew your body so well by now he took his thumb between your two bodies to your clit and starting rubbing at it rapidly, knowing this would tip you over the edge faster. Your high quickly catches up to you and you come around him and he buries himself in you as he too comes with you. His body drops on top of you and you wrap your arms around him holding him tightly. Your bodies sweaty an sticky but neither of you care as your breathing begins to regulate and he lifts his head to lean his forehead onto yours. He kisses you, softly this time, and you enjoy your lips lightly brushing one another. He breaks away and you gaze up at him and smile blissfully but he averts your gaze and looks to the side, making you frown, "Yoongi?" He looks back at you with furrowed brows. "Baby I need you to know something." "What? What is it?" Your on hyperfocus trying to study his face. "I love you (Y/N) you know that right?" You sit up and he buckles his pants while standing between your legs. "Of course I know that, I love you too but... Yoongi baby what's wrong?" "Its the company, its going to merge with another big Japanese corporation." "But isn't that good?" "Yeah it's great actually, merging with this corporation can raise our stock value by a lot." "But?" You cock your head slightly searching his eyes. "We're gonna base in Tokyo." "Oh, Tokyo wow, thats...great." You're happy for him, you really are but your trying desperately to not think about how far he will be from you. You hardly see eachother now, now adding more than half a thousand miles in between. 

He brings your coat over to you and you slide your arms in trying not to solemn the mood. "I know it's far and it's a big move...Which is why I wanted to ask you to come with me." Your eyes widen and your brows shoot up in surprise. "What?" "(Y/N)..." He shifts backwards before bending down on one knee. "Yoongi-" Your utter shock refrains you from saying anything else as your jaw opens and closes slightly. He brings his hand up to his neck and rubs at it. "(Y/N), I'm uh, not very good with words, and I know this is a lot for you... But, if there's one thing I want most in this world, it's you. You make me happy (Y/N), I want you to be with me, and... Well, I hope you'd like to be with me too so, will you marry me?" "Yoongi I-I, are you sure?" "More than anything." He nods. Your mind wonders a million miles per hour and you feel like you have to pinch yourself to wake yourself up from this dream. Marriage? Tokyo? Yoongi?...Yoongi. Your face splits into a wide grin and your feel tears at the corner of your eyes as your heart swells. "Yes. Yes of course i'll marry you!" You laugh as you stand and open your arms wide and he lifts himself up, picking you up and twirling you around once as you shriek in excitement. He looks at you and gives you the most precious of gummy smiles that you can't help but kiss him. "When is the company merging?" You ask him with your arms still wrapped around his neck and his hands resting on your waist. "By the end of the month." "So soon!" "Yeah." He says giving a sideways smile. "Wow so, what do we do now?" "I guess, we should start planning our trip soon and...we have tell our parents." You eyes widen and your arms fall to his forearms. "Oh...Shit you’re right." You raise your eyebrows at him and give a nervous smile. "Yup." He rubs his neck again and returns the nervous smile. "It'll be fine I'm sure. You smile warmly at him and give him a soft kiss  reassuringly. “I gotta go baby it’s late.” grabbing your bag off the floor before walking over to his door. "You'll come home after work?" "Definitely." He smiles mischievously and you smile back. You turn to walk out before he says. "I love you (Y/N and L/N)." You grin widely and turn to face him. "And I love you Min Yoongi."