#im stuck and miserable and unwell. and so fucking tired in my bones.
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i am so scared :) and so tired :)) i just want to live and to be loved and to cry and write and yearn for fulfillment rather than simple subsistence.
#regret posting#im trying to move right now and im realizing that after all this work and pain im probably moving into a really precarious situation.#and ive already quit my job. ive already packed. ive already done everything but say my goodbyes.#why did i have to realize now. and not a month ago.#its all gonna be for nothing.#its between living where i do where its comfortable but unpleasant.#or moving somewhere i will never be happy just to be more free. and so much more burdened.#i dont know what to do anymore and ive never known what im doing.#but now i have to either do it and maky myself unhappy. or quit it and make a lot of people unhappy.#im stuck and miserable and unwell. and so fucking tired in my bones.#i dont know who i am anymore. ig i never have. ill never find out here. but im never going to be happy there.
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