#im talking about rabid and defensive refusal of any and all criticisms

[ofswordsandpens]

im sorry but I do think its a little funny that there's maybe like... a handful of people actively critiquing the show compared to the overwhelming praise its receiving, and yet there's a portion of the fandom acting like they're either being held at gunpoint and forced to read every criticism, or that they've personally been appointed by RR himself to defend the integrity of his works, and I promise you, you really don't have to do either lol <3

[windstorm64]

You know I think more people need to realize that “that person is just an asshole” is a perfectly fine realization to come to during discourse. That or they’re just truly uneducated on the matter.

Now I’m sure that sounds like im just supporting throwing ad hominems around in civil discussions but I promise I’m not. That doesn’t have to be the conclusion of the argument, just something people need to consider going forward.

So often you’ll see someone give a bad take, or just say an improper word or phrase in a larger scenario. And while YES, they deserve to be called out and criticized so they can learn from the mistake and move forward, so many people make the jump in logic assuming that “well if that person said this thing that was wrong, then they must also think x y and z” when that doesn’t have to be the case at all.

Because then the argument becomes about defending/criticizing the overarching views and morals of the speaker, when that wasn’t even what they were talking about to begin with. And that just creates a messy debate that no one wants to get into.

In more mild cases, a competent well intentioned iduvidual makes many valid points in a discussion but is then promptly ripped apart because they unknowingly phrased something wrong. And instead of just being informed of their mistake and correcting themselves promptly, as to get back to their original discussion with new understanding, the rabid masses of the internet completely pull away from the original topic at hand. Compete waste of time over just some lack of information on the subject.

Now as many tumblr users grow and mature we see this happening less and less, it’s easy to defend someone who is well intentioned. But what about when the person isn’t well intentioned, when they’re just a complete asshole?

The unfortunate truth that many people online seem to forget is that some people are just mean. Some people are just selfish. Some people will say thing simply because they can, without any concern for whom they may offend. But it’s that lack of empathy that matters most, because more often than not the problematic person in question doesn’t have any actual strong beliefs on anything besides a misguided view of freedom of speech, and trying to imply otherwise to prove your point makes them go on the defensive.

Even if it’s something as awful as, say, saying a slur. There’s many people who just say problematic things in explanatory ways. Does that mean they support the decades of subjugation towards the minority group in question? No, not necessarily. But are they part of the overarching societal problem that allows people to say these things without repercussion? Yes, without a doubt.

(By the way this should go without saying but I in NO WAY support the use of slurs or any derogatory language, nor is that the only type of asshole behavior applicable to my argument, it’s just been such a hot topic lately that I think it’s a good way to illustrate my point. Stay with me I’m going to bring it around)

They should 100% be called out on saying problematic things, because OBVIOUSLY what they’re saying is wrong, and to continue to allow them to say it supports the problem of a lack of accountability in our society when it comes to the spread of harmful concepts and ideas. They’re an absolute asshole for saying those horrible things so lightly, and that fact on it’s own warrants criticism from the masses. Don’t let them get away with it, call them out for being part of the accountability problem. The fact that people are allowed to say such problematic things so lightly is why people keep doing it despite not necessarily subscribing to the potentially horrid beliefs just below the surface.

But once you start attacking their person, their views, and their morality/humanity at large, the person in question and (if they are a public figure) their community goes on the defensive. They fight tooth and nail just to save face. The party in question then refuses to take the critizisers seriously, since “there’s no way these people making these bold unproven claims could ever make a sturdy argument”, and the simple point of “hey you shouldn’t say those things, and with good reason” gets washed away in a flood of drama as both sides ready for war. At that point it’s a spectacle, one where the OP is put under a spotlight for everyone to see, and simple belief of “this act should be unanimously condemned” is transformed into a personality specific debate that doesn’t really get us anywhere concrete besides knowing who to cancel.

That’s not to say that these people should not ALSO be judged on the content of their character, as there is a darn good chance than an unsympathetic asshole probably ALSO has some blazing bad takes swimming around in their head that needs some debunking, but to always assume that these two things exist in the same breathe creates a large room for error and could potentially blow a situation way out of hand. If the additional claims aren’t perfectly spot on that just gives the party in question plenty of ammo to create a counter argument that completely detracts from the original valid ciritizism.

Now at this point I want to make something clear. You may be asking yourselves, “Windstorm, even IF all the criticisms cant be assured to be true, why the FUCK would you even bother defending an asshole who would be saying these offensive things to being with? There’s a good chance that the additional criticisms are true regardless, why even gamble against that chance?” And to that I would have to say...I wouldn’t defend them. That’s the point. If it was happening in real time, I would never go out of my way to defend the party in question because I would disagree with what they initially said. And playing devils advocate in the heat of a discussion like that is akin to taking a stroll across the heavily armed Korean borders in the rain. Nobody in these situations would ever come out to be a mediator between the two sides, in part because no one person really even has the authority to do so, but also because no one wants to be seen as supporting the opposing side, and so the war goes on. It’s up to the people themselves to stay educated, to temper their rage, and to not make any claim too bold, because regardless of how well intentioned you are, the second you start pissing of the people you’re arguing against by making claims that can’t be backed up, you’ve created an unwinable situation for both sides because the opposition will start doing the same to you.

Looping back to my previous example, there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON in the year 2019 we should be arguing over whether or not saying slurs is wrong, but here we are constantly having that same discussion over and over without actually getting anywhere and just pissing off everyone involved more and more.

I truly believe that this is in part because people get so passionate about the subject at hand that they inadvertently end up changing the topic just enough so that the true message never reaches the ears to those who need to hear it. At the end of the day, some people are just assholes, and will say offensive and hurtful things with no consideration for what it’s truly means or who it may hurt. And sometimes that’s all there is too it. Call them out for it, let the masses know that they’re shitty, but don’t start making claims that could start an interpersonal war because once you raise the stakes every regular joe with an opinion, even if they weren’t involved to being with, will try to get their say in and nobody will win.

Now if your intention from the get go IS to criticize the party in question, and are using the problematic thing done/said as proof of your crusade, then this post is not for you. Go tear those SOBs apart, raise some hell, you do you. This post is made for the people who think the discussion should be as simple as “people should/shouldn’t do this thing”, regardless of which people are involved, and are confused when it isn’t quite so simple. Stay on task, fight for what you’re here for, don’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. More conversation threads means more chances to detract from the central point and, in turn, less chance for accountability. Sometimes the most important opinions are the most straightforward ones.

TL;DR - Some people are just shitty. Call them out on it. There’s no debate about being an asshole, they either shape up or they continue being an asshole their whole life. Don’t give them something to argue about. Tell them what’s wrong and set them straight. Keep them accountable, and don’t give a way to change the subject and detract from the critisism at hand. Some people will do this accidentally out of passion, some people will do this on purpose to shift around the blame. Do not let them.

As always I’m sure there’s some angle to this that I’m not considering, I’m only one guy with one world view after all, so I implore anyone reading to give me their piece if something sounds out of line. I just think about this a lot, so I’m willing to put this out there eternally attached to my name. I’ll do my best to talk with anyone who does the same.