#imagine dragons more like imaghine magneton and tangela making out hamster dance style

[ilaiyayaya]

I'm Not Late It's Still January 1st Shut, Shut Up

Can we just like imagine that today is not 4 days after New Years and that it is instead still New Years and I did not once again spend nearly a week procrastinating writing 5 sentences about random words that pop up in my brain okay?

I don't normally make any kind of new years resolutions or anything like that because I am incapable of holding myself accountable for any kind of long-term goal, but I am at least glad that there are no more upcoming holidays and that I can go back to normal levels of mentally ill instead of christmas levels of mentally ill. I do have some goals tho, but I wouldn't really consider them "new year's resolutions", moreso just long-term goals that I've had for a while that I'm somewhat closer to reaching this year than I ever have been in the past. My first priority is absolutely moving out of my father's house, I hate living in this hell-hole and I have for a long time, originally my goal was to be out by the end of March of this year, but I started searching for apartments to move out to around September, and failed to take into account the fact that the time right before Christmas is probably the worst time to be looking for available apartments, and that I always get cripplingly depressed around the holidays which makes it kinda hard to motivate myself to do anything actually productive (no clue how I didn't foresee the 2nd one, that happens every year). So yeah I pretty much had to put that on hold for a while so that end of March goal definitely isn't happening now, so instead now I think I'm just gonna go for an "as soon as realistically possible" deadline lol. I'd also like to start hrt, that's definitely not realistically happening this year though, I'd have to be out on my own before I even start looking into that, and from what I've heard the process of going through doctors to actually get on hrt is a nightmare and can take forever, so almost definitely not a this year goal, but still a goal. I'd also like to get back to doing art of any kind, there's not really anything stopping me, just myself, but like, maybe I'll feel like opening up Clip Studio or Blender, or buying more painting supplies again sometime this year.

I guess I also would like to use this blog more often, I'm not gonna like force myself to write like everyday or anything, I feel like if I did that after a while it would just create more issues, but venting every once in a while is actually pretty good and helpful and I don't do that enough. I'm really bad about just not opening up at all to anyone around me, so having a space where I'm pretty much just be talking to myself that's also relatively disconnected from a majority of the rest of my life is pretty therapeutic. Nowhere else can I write 5 paragraphs about idk the sex appeal of Metal Sonic's hands or something, and not be yelled at for being weird (and if I do get yelled at for being weird GIANT DEATH LASER KILL). Also I need to actually post more things instead of just making 50 drafts each month and not having the confidence/motivation to actually finish or post most of them. Need to make my posts more unhinged too, need more Terriermon-button-core posts, I truly am at my peak 5 minutes after waking up, and after 30 hours of no sleep. I should probably also try to be less self-conscious about reblogging stuff, I have literally no reason to be and should do it more.

Extra special bonus goal: IF I DON'T FINISH EVERY SINGLE FUCKING VISUAL NOVEL THAT I'VE STARTED READING IN THE LAST 2 MONTHS BY THE END OF THE YEAR I'M GONNA yoshi I STARTED TOO MANY HELP