#imo this thinking is also applicable beyond relationships and into general issues of queer identity

[yuriskies]

The Fluid Relationship and Its Enemy (Iori Miyazawa)

Long long ago, when the skies were higher and the ocean was deeper, and the publishing companies were still publishers and not content owners, 'relations' began to sprawl between people. 'Lovers', 'unrequited love', 'rivals', 'spouses', 'boss and subordinate', 'senior and junior', 'idol and producer' -- certain "states" that occured between people were codified with specific words.

To answer 'what are their relations?', you can reply, "they're going out" or "they're on bad terms", specifying the "state" at a particular moment. These are 'relations.'

What's important is that it describes that state at a point in time. The reply to "what are their relations?" is a static, fixed answer. In the sense that given an initial state and a set of rules you can derive the next state, you could construct a world model based on something akin to classical mechanics.

However, more and more phenomena began to be discovered that couldn't be described by it. For example, telling a very intimate couple something like "hurry up and get married" is based on a shared tacit understanding that the next step on the road of love from 'dating' is 'marriage'. But while it certainly does confirm to societal templates, it ignores the existence of a vast number of possibilities and unnamed relations occurring outside of them.

There is also, for example, the idea of "just business." Two people act very intimately with each other, but it is actually just a performance to please the audience, and they're not that close in reality. In this situation a relation just for show, one that's not the real deal, would be called "just business." 'Real' and 'business' are thought to be completely separate, and 'on bad terms' and 'intimate' are treated as exclusive. This is the classical mechanics understanding of relations.

In this system, you cannot explain the following states:

On stage they pretended to get on well, but at some point the distinction between stage and reality started to blur.

Behind the scenes they were like a cat and a dog, but even so, they respected each other's skill.

There should have been no strong feelings towards the other party, but it's unpleasant when they're close to someone else.

Despite being polar opposites with the other party, they can't help but think of them even when they're not around, to one's own annoyance.

...Something along these lines.

We need something that can handle not just discrete '0' and '1' states, but various aspects tying people together and their complex changes over time. This would be the notion of "relationship".

As a side note, even within the classical mechanics model of relations there are still some ambiguities. A good example would be 'more than friends, less than lovers.' However, this still places "friends" and "lovers" on the same line and points to a segment on that line. It's not suited for describing anything more complex than that.

Much like how modern physics is built on the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics, a more subtle approach is required to talk about the interactions between the multitude of aspects.

Even given the same initial state, interactions between humans won't necessarily display the same predicted behavior. They won't take the same form, and will keep constantly changing, so much so that a snapshot in time would be meaningless. "Relationship" expresses this kind of dynamic interaction.

So when asked "What are their relations?", a modern otaku will keep their mouth shut.

Because you cannot describe it with a few words. No matter the answer, you will feel like you missed something. Because if it's not based on the process and context of how the relation came to be, you know there will be something you just won't be able to convey.

There are relationships in this world that can only be described as "there is a relationship."

Seeking to gain even a slightly deeper understanding of them, everyone desperately chases after more information. Because, like collecting the pieces of a complex puzzle, they want to increase the accuracy of their own perception. However, by following relationships you will learn the horrifying truth that it leads to a swamp with no bottom.

Human relationships, when viewed from the outside, can only be perceived up to a certain level. Anything that doesn't appear outside can only be known by those in the relationship itself. Above all, it physically cannot be observed.

Yes, they're "unobservable."

This is an important point about modern relationships. No matter how hard you try, you cannot understand others' relationships. No matter how strongly you imagine it, based on the information that's out there, it will be just that: your imagination. And even while you're imagining, the relationship keeps building up out of your sight.

This is, in fact, the same for fictional characters as well as for real ones. Even though something crucial may be happening where an otaku can't see it, they will never know about it. This is the notion of "don't understand a thing.'

When you try to observe a relationship, you will hit this wall no matter how much you increase the resolution. But on the other side of this semi-transparent wall you can see an incredibly bright, bare 'love' shining through.

Relationships are but one of the forms 'love' manifests in the world. Those drawn in by its dazzling light, burning themselves to ashes, are the 'extreme otaku'. How pitiful.

Please be careful all of you.