#in lying down and ​im eating bread until the world feels real again wish me luck.

[lesbiangiratina]

Dreamt me and some friends went to a mall it was mostly gamestops and antique/collectibles places that had weird guilty gear items. For some reason there was a maple syrup sauce packet based bartering system. Ohhhh my god i slept until noon what

[kristylovesvikings]

Ivar Imagine #16 “It’s really not that complicated.”

You couldn’t watch him with her. Ivar and you were close. No one really knew how close though. No one knew of the nights he would crawl to your home and into your bed just to lay awake and speak for hours. You and he would talk and laugh as you sat curled into each other’s bodies. You didn’t really know why he chose you but you wouldn’t trade it. That was until his mother and father arranged a meeting with another earl and his daughter. You knew why they were here. You knew he had yet to speak up to his father and mother about you. His brothers all married off. Sigurd was a newly married man. Ubbe and Hvitserk were both expecting a child with their respective wives. You knew that girl was here to steal your Ivar.

It was a beautiful dinner eaten by everyone with the ingredients the earl brought from his homeland. He wanted to show Ragnar and Aslaug how much it meant for him to be presenting his daughter for Ivar. The girl had amazing manners but she could feel your gaze. From time to time she would glance around the room only to stop on you. You knew it was burning holes into her skin but you couldn’t stop staring at her. She was beautiful and she came from a well off village. It was hard to watch her and Ivar. But it wasn’t her that made it hard it was him. He made no promises to you. He never said anything more than he needed to. But right now right across the room from you he was saying so much. He was smiling and laughing with this woman. He was with her. Holding her arm and hand and waist every chance he got. Something he seldom did with you. You were a secret after all.

You couldn’t watch this. Seeing Ubbe looking at you from his seat next to his father you raised an eyebrow and he did the same. Ubbe has known of Ivar and you and your late talks as he followed Ivar once. He stopped his questions a long time ago as they went unanswered by both you and Ivar. You heard someone clear their throat. Looking to your left you noticed a man stood at your side offering you a plate of food “Eat with me?” he asked.

You didn’t know his name but he did practice often with the shield maidens and other warriors. He was the blacksmiths son or something. Smiling you accepted the food “Thank you I will. Sit please. Sorry I don’t remember your name.” You had bread infront of you pushing it away as you made room for the new plate you were brought.

Looking to your lap you shifted a little uncomfortable. You couldn’t help but wish Ivar would pull you away to his table but you knew he had her now. He didn’t need you. And he certainly didn’t want you. “Athen. Your y/n right?”

“Yes. So Athen what brings you to my table tonight shouldn’t you be with your girl?” You were fishing. You needed to know. You were yet to marry and your father was always on you to find a fighter someone strong to protect you.

“No girl. I am surprised it took so long for us to talk. Not that it is easy to talk when im getting my face kicked in by all the shield maidens.” You laughed and so did he. You had seen him train and that was far from what actually happened he usually spent time with the younger boys and girls teaching them how to stand and push a shield at their enemy.

--Ivars Point Of View—

I could see her watching me and this woman. I had long forgotten her name. Y/n sat picking at the bread basket on her table she hadn’t even gotten a plate of food making it clear what she thought of this earl and his daughter. I wanted to go to her. My father had arranged this meeting and I was not about to disappoint him. I tried to like the new woman. It wasn’t working all she spoke of was her clothes and all the horses her father owned and her sewing. I overheard y/n laughing only to look to her and see another man making her smile. Feeling my rage boil over I stood leaning on my crutches. I felt Ubbe trying to pull my eyes from her and him by turning my head I didn’t need to see to know what I needed to do. Pulling my axe from my belt I heard the world quiet as my mother yelled out my name.

--Your Point Of View—

You heard commotion but before you could even look in Ivars direction to see what was going on your face was splattered with blood. Eyes widening you took in the man you were just speaking to and how he had fallen to the table dead with an axe in his head. You weren’t stupid you saw the handle. You knew who owned the axe you knew because you watched him carve the wood in the candle light of your room covered in your furs as he laid on the floor because of the one to many times you found wood shavings in your bed. You had watched him carve the wood making sure to get it just right so it would fit the blade he spent weeks working on.

You stood angry and bloodied. You knew how much trouble you could get in but you couldn’t help but scream at Ivar. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO CRUEL?! WHY MUST YOU JUST THROW AN AXE YOU ENDED A LIFE. AND I KNOW IT MUST NOT MEAN ANYTHING FOR IVAR RAGNARSSON BUT IT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME. AND TO THE FATHER OF THE MAN YOU JUST KILLED.”

You suddenly realized what you were doing and you froze face falling in horror before turning and running. You couldn’t think straight. Not only had you yelled at Ivar. You did it in front of everyone. His father, his mother, his brothers, his soon to be intended and her father. You ran leaving everything behind. Lagertha was the one person you wanted so you went to her. You knew her village was only a few days from your home.

--TIME SKIP 1 MONTH LATER—

When you had run to Lagertha she had a room made up for you. She had always seen you as an honorary daughter seeing as her real daughter died of sickness many years ago. She was kind and she didn’t press but you knew she wanted to know about why you had abruptly showed up at her door with tearstained cheeks and bloodied feet. You decided tonight was the night you would share with her why. So you did over dinner you asked to eat with just her something she agreed to immediately. Once you ate and finished your explanation about you and Ivar and what you were before the story of what drove you here all those nights ago. You and Lagertha sat with your backs to the fire drinking ale.

“I loved Ragnar. I think a part of me will always love him. It broke me when Bjorn came home from that first raid at told me of a woman named Asluag. I wanted to believe my own son was a liar because I was scared of the truth. I knew he wasn’t lying. When she showed up at Kattegate belly round with Ubbe I felt like I would never breathe again.” Listening to Lagertha talk you couldn’t help but feel your heart break.

“When you left did you ever want to go back?” You didn’t know if she would answer but you were curious she had never talked about this with you or to anyone to your knowledge.

“I did. I knew one day it would be in my fate to come back I just didn’t know when. My fate is tied to Ragnar in more than one way.” She smiled but you knew it was out of pain.

“Why are you telling me of you and Ragnar?” She looked at you as you spoke.

“Sometimes love is painful. Sometimes it is so painful it feels like it would feel better to rip your heart from your chest. And sometimes it’s painful because of stupid boys.” The smile was teasing now but you couldn’t help but see the edges of her eyes tinged with pain.

“Well what do you do with stupid boys? How do you make them smarter?” You wanted an answer but you feared you could only ask the gods such a question.

“My sweet girl, you run from stupid boys in to the arms of smart ones.” Lagertha couldn’t help but laugh at her own answer alcohol clouding her brain.

The fire started to die and you and Lagertha decided that it was time to sleep you bid her goodbye and goodnight as you went to change into your nightdress.

--TIME SKIP MORNING—

You woke to arguing. You only could make out that it was Lagertha and a male. As you stood pulling on your cloak to cover your night dress you walked to the door to see what the commotion was all about you realized it was more than one male. Pushing your door as quiet as you could you walked down the hall to where her throne was placed.

“I want to see her. I know she is here! This is the only place she could have gone close enough she wouldn’t have starved or been taken. She has to be here. Let me see her!” Ivars loud voice carried as you got closer to the throne. His back was to you but Ubbe and Hvitserk already spotted you turning to nod their heads in greeting when you shushed them with a finger to your lips.

“She isn’t here Ivar. Go Home.” It seemed Lagertha had taken to lying to him. Something she no doubt had done several times in this conversation.

“Y/n doesn’t know what happened. She doesn’t know how complicated it was. She doesn’t know what position I was put in by my father, mother, and the earl and his daughter.”

“It’s really not that complicated.” It was almost funny how Ivar whipped around to where you were stood after he heard your voice.

“Y/n. I swear I will tell you the truth of what happened please talk to me.” His brothers looked at him stunned to see him apologies and beg. You were not stunned whenever Ivar did something he gave you some story as to why he was right and he always made you feel so guilty if you didn’t say he was right.

Sighing you spoke again “You have gotten to marry an earl’s daughter what a prize Ivar. Congratulations. Go home. I wish you and her well but please don’t torture me with the details you know how much I care for you.”

Ivar knew you had made a decision and it would be hard to get you to change that but he felt he had to try. “I am not marrying that girl. I want to marry you. If you feel different that is fine I will suffer the fate of that like I suffer the fate of my legs but I will not marry anyone else. I should have said no to the meeting. I shouldn’t have entertained her. I knew I wasn’t going to marry her. I should be better to you. I want you. Only you. Please... Let me make it up to you. I love you and I want to marry you.”

Ivar continued “I have told my mother and father of this. I left to find you with Ubbe and Hvitserk. Please. Please let me marry you. Let me prove I am worth your love. No more secrets. No more proposals from random people who want a king’s son. Just you and me. Please say yes and come back with me.”

You waited. You wanted to see if he would say more. If he would get angry that you hadn’t spoken yet. You waited to see if he felt like he wanted to embarrass you as you embarrassed him.

Lagertha spoke from her throne “It’s painful because of stupid boys.”

You turned almost to ask what she was speaking of but then you remember the fire at your back and the mead in your hand as she spoke those words the night before.

Again she spoke Ivars eyes never leaving yours. “Go on my sweet girl, run to your smart boy.” And that was all it took. You ran straight into his arms. He was as surprised as you were when you almost toppled down.

Smiling you looked to him. “Ivar did you really tell your mother and father?” He shook his head yes as he leaned to kiss you.