#in school i once wrote a essay that if everyone ate my mum's macaroni and cheese they would be so happy they wouldn't bother fighting anymo

[saxifactumterritum]

so far the movie in my head where Jeeves is a private investigator and Bertie Wooster is his rich hanger-on slash boytoy slash nuissance who Just Shows Up:

they meet when Bertie Wooster is playing a rich person game of steal an item then you have to wear it in public for at least an hour (i watched 'The Manhood of Edward Robinson' on a old TV show 'the Agatha Christie Hour' and they play this game and it was chaotic), and Jeeves accidentally on purpose aids and abets him in his 'crime', and Bertie Wooster is for a long time under the impression that Jeeves is a Real Life Jewel Thief (due to shenanigans and misunderstandings, Jeeves doesn't realise it's a game at first, and then ends up absconding with the necklace, so Bertie concludes he was a real thief).

It was a diamond necklace Bertie Wooster stole like in the TV show, he had meant to steal something a gentleman might wear but there was a difficulty and he ended up with the jewels and now he had to dress up as a lady to wear the thing and then him and Jeeves dance since, as Jeeves pointed out, no one would possibly suspect Bertie Wooster wasn't a women so where was the harm?

I got super distracted by this meeting and mostly the movie has just been them flirting and cross-dressing so far, Bertie Wooster thinking Jeeves is a mysterious thief, and Jeeves thinking Bertie Wooster has fluff for brains and if absolutely daffy but swept up in the whole thing and enjoying himself imensely. Usually he's looking for lost cats, here he is getting to use his brain to help this twink escape from justice, much more fun.

Bertie Wooster realises who Jeeves truly is when Jeeves' niece takes him along to a society party with Biffy and Bertie Wooster et al. Bertie Wooster always sort of thinks it would be romantical if Jeeves WAS a thief of mystery, but also watching him masterfully solve a real burglery the night of the party is, Bertie Wooster is ok with this version also.

the main other scene is they are playing poker (Bertie Wooster is terrible at it) (Jeeves is excellent) (Bertie Wooster being terrible helps Jeeves win a lot of money) (they are a team) (a team where Bertie Wooster doesn't need to have a poker face or be good at cards), they are investigating something but they don't know what, it was all mysterious Jeeves just had to Show Up To A Thing.

I say 'they', in fact Jeeves showed up as per mysterious letter, Bertie Wooster was just there. He is pretending not to know Jeeves since Jeeves did not invite him along for the case and he is Sulking. He drinks a spiked drink or something idk but everyone is trying to get him not to slide off chairs or sing or maybe he should go to bed? eventually Jeeves is like, long suffering, 'I will deal with this, he does know me. Very well, in fact. Come on, Mr Wooster'.

And Bertie Wooster is like 'ah yes, my mysterious thief' and Jeeves is like 'please stop telling people I'm a thief' and Bertie Wooster is like 'my thief' and Jeeves is like 'I am neither a thief nor yours, I think you are mistaking me for a WOMAN, sir', pointedly, since they are in company in the 1920s so not out, and everyone laughs uproariously 'Bertie, a woman?! not on your life, Mr Jeeves, he might be mistaking you, but not for a WOMAN!' cus they all know Bertie Wooster is a queer. That's all the scene so far.

I think of them in the city and big country houses, but maybe they go out to the country, like Miss Marple stories.

Did anyone ever read Ngaio Marsh books with Roderick Alleyn and Nigel Bathgate? I think investigator!Jeeves and Bertie Wooster would have a similar dynamic. but gayer of course.

Jeeves was a valet before he became a private investigator, and at least one time they go 'undercover' as a gentleman and valet. In that investigation they probably swap places, half the guests think Jeeves is Bertie Wooster, which I think would be hilarious.