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stormyoceans · 9 months

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monica im gonna need you to verbalise what the birthday scene did to you because i've been on the lookout for your reaction.. i know youre barely human rn so whenever you feel like it ofc 🥰

PETRI IT'S SO VERY SWEET OF YOU TO WANT TO KNOW MY REACTION TO THE MOST INSANE 20 MINUTES OF TELEVISION EVER PUT TO FILM BUT IM AFRAID I WON'T EVER BE MENTALLY FIT ENOUGH TO PUT INTO WORDS THE AMOUNT OF PAIN SUFFERING TORMENT AGONY ANGUISH SADNESS DESPAIR DEVASTATION DESPONDENCY HEARTBREAK AND DIVINE WRATH I WENT THROUGH WATCHING THAT ENTIRE SCENE LIKE I WAS GENUINELY WHITE KNUCKLING MY WAY THROUGH IT JUST GNAWING ON FURNITURE TO PREVENT MYSELF FROM GOING ON A KILLING SPREE AND PETROL BOMBING THE GMMTV HEADQUARTERS

i also feel like most people came out of the episode bawling their eyes out for mork and wanting to talk about him, and of course im no different, but at the same time im literally genuinely truly sincerely honest to god fr not kidding when i tell you i could spend the rest of my life talking about day and how good (and underrated) of a character he is. the frankly insane amount of thoughts and feelings i have about him basically overshadowed everything else EXCEPT FOR THE MURDEROUS RAGE I FELT TOWARDS AUGUST. and like.. the thing i appreciate the most about p’aof’s characters is that they’re all incredibly complex and nuanced, there are no heroes and no villains in his stories (despite what night says), so i do think that august cares about day and didn’t have any malicious intent, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and august’s ones were wrapped up in so much ableism and selfishness since the very beginning, because he never really tried to understand day or think about what would actually make day happy, he just tried to lessen his own guilt for all the times he made day wait hours for him to show up, for all the matches he made them lose because his temper flared up, for all the forgotten birthdays, for not returning day’s feelings. i don’t want to hate august but the pity he feels for day and the guilt that stemmed from it ended up making day’s deepest fear come true and hurting him in ways august can’t even imagine AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY

mork’s anger was so relatable because mork, just like the audience, knows. he’s the only one who knows, not just about day’s heartbreak, but also about august’s words cutting much deeper than a simple rejection. this is exacly the reason day isolated himself and begged his mom not to tell anyone about him losing his sight, and the worst part is that august said all that to mork as if day wasn’t even there, as if he was invisible. honestly i could write a whole other post just about this scene and mork’s anger and the tear running down mork’s cheek not for himself but for day and day taking mork’s hand to stop him from hurting august and mork LETTING HIM and the hug but im sure other people already did better than i ever could and this is already getting way too long so let’s just say that the mental health crisis intervention team that’s always in the room with me when i watch this show had their hands full trying to sedate me (and to think that this was the better outcome too like.. imagine if mork hadn't come back. imagine if august had just walked away leaving day alone with no explanation whatsoever and no way of getting home by himself. KILLING AND MAIMING AND BITING AND TEARING AND RIPPING AND CLAWING AND STABBING AND PUNCHING AND KICKING AND MURDERING)

this mess with august is also making me both appreciate and hurt for day and gee’s friendship because she’s the only person from day’s past who isn’t treating him any differently and who is genuinely trying to understand him, and day TRUSTED her, when he needed someone and mork wasn’t there she is the one he called out for, which is HUGE, but he still isn’t ready to fully open up to her and you can tell this is hurting gee a little because she just wants to be there for him, especially after not being able to for an entire year. unlike everyone else, tho, she respects day’s boundaries and is gonna wait for him to come to her when he’s ready, so it pains me to think that what happened with august might push day towards isolation again (like i know mork isn’t gonna let that happen, but i think day is gonna have a hard time hanging out with other people again, at least for a while) WHICH IS WHY I NEED GEE TO DO WHAT DAY STOPPED MORK FROM DOING AND SLAP SOME SENSE INTO AUGUST

AND OKAY LIKE LET’S TALK ABOUT MORKDAY EVEN IF THINKING ABOUT THEM FOR TOO LONG MAKES ME WANT TO THROW MY WHOLE ASS SELF DOWN A WELL AND DROWN IN 5 CM OF WATER AND ALSO AS WE’VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED IM CLEARLY VERY BIASED TOWARDS DAY EVEN IF I DO TRY TO BE AS OBJECTIVE AS POSSIBLE BUT ALSO LISTEN. people out there blaming day for not falling at mork’s feet right away and hurting mork’s feelings by preferring august (which is not entirely true btw) can meet me in the pit and i don’t wanna get into this here since im just rambling and digressing from what you originally asked way too much, but the point is. people look at this as if emotions are completely clear cut and day can’t both have residual feelings for august and some blooming ones for mork that he isn’t fully aware of, and also everyone seems to forget that day can’t see and mork is his caretaker and he has no idea how much of mork being nice to him is mork actually liking him or mork just doing his job. all of this to say that MY BOY DAY WAS THRILLED AT THE IDEA OF SPENDING HIS BIRTHDAY WITH MORK OKAY??????? HE WAS HAPPY AND EXCITED AND GIFTED MORK HIS FAVORITE PERFUME AFTER SPRAYING IT ON HIM (i could act like a 12 years old and make a joke about day spraying himself on mork since the name of the perfume is ‘day time’ but i won’t because im better than that) [no im not] AND COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT EVER KNOWING SOMEONE NAMED AUGUST. so to hear mork say that he went there as a matchmaker probably was yet another thing that confused day so much about mork’s intentions (and it also had me on the floor recreating the collective wailing scene from midsommar but that’s a different matter)

and like don’t get me wrong, i have no doubts that letting day go with august was probably one of the hardest most painful things mork ever had to do and that the only reason he was actually able to go through with it is because he thought that august was where day’s happiness laid. it was also extremely painful to see mork alone in the background throughout the entire episode, unsure of where he stands in day’s life and feeling like he has no right to claim a place next to him, and day definitely had some part in making him feel like that but i also think that mork was so wrapped up in his own emotions (understandably so) that he didn’t really listen to all the times day was asking him to stay. "not a boss. let's just say im a friend", "why didn't you join us for dinner?", "so will you tell me now what you're going as if not my caretaker?". day may not be sure of his own feelings or how to define his relationship with mork, but he does know that mork belongs right next to him, and seeing day looking for mork and not finding him was just as painful as mork once again not being able to give the damn sunflower to day LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW MANY MORE SUNFLOWERS ARE WE GOING TO GO THROUGH BEFORE IT FINALLY GETS TO DAY STOP THIS MADNESS

AND DON’T EVEN LET ME GET STARTED ON THE SYMBOLISM OF IT ALL AND HOW - JUST LIKE AT THE BEGINNING THEY BOTH WERE THE UNHAPPY PRINCE AND THE UNTAMED FOX IN NEED OF A FRIEND WHO WOULD TAKE THE TIME AND EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND -THEY NOW BOTH ARE THE SUN AND THE SUNFLOWER CHASING THE LIGHT THAT MAKES IT VISIBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN TRULY SEE EACH OTHER AND HOW ALL OF THIS TIES WITH THE KISS HAPPENING AS THE SUN RISES OR I WILL START MAKING RABIS-RIDDLED CREATURE NOISES

im very likely forgetting so many things i wanted to say and that are worth mentioning but this already enough of a mess and i’ve also reached that point of insanity where i need to go meditate in a sensory deprivation chamber to come down from the sheer manic energies that thinking about this show has me going on SO. let’s just leave it at that

IN CONCLUSION. RIP ME

#NOT A SINGLE COHERENT THOUGHT FOUND THIS IS BASICALLY JUST STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS AT ITS WORSE #AND THIS FRIENDS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER LET ME TALK ABOUT ANY JIMMYSEA/VICE VERSA/LAST TWILIGHT RELATED MATTER #CAN I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS UNSUBSTANTIAL MESS NOW #last twilight the series #petri 🩵#m: ask

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thenamesblurrito · 4 years

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Cybertronian neurodivergence and mental health

Psychiatry is a fairly well developed science on SNAP’s Cybertron, if only to better control people and fix them to serve the state. Or, on a darker note, to label dissenters and revolutionaries as mentally unstable and thus not worth listening to. People like Rung, Froid, Minitron, and Trepan are well-known figures in their field, but counselors and therapists are relatively common across Cybertron, mostly attached to corporations or funded by the state with the express goal of keeping everyone working smoothly. Even Beta Trion has a counseling license, which is why she’s one of the counselors at the JAAT.

Warning for discussion of mental illness, “normative” psychiatry, and discussion of ableism. Please note that this is a noncomprehensive list, and none of these terms are one-to-one representatives of human conditions, they’re only based off of them. The worldbuilding I’m doing here is not a statement about any real neurodivergence, mental illness, psychiatric system, or actual human being, and the values of the society I’m creating are very much opposite of my own.

Nonstandard circuitry

The Cybertronian term for neurodiversity. A convenient catch-all for any processors with “deviations” from forging, instead of issues developed over time. Those that make it difficult to easily sort mecha into functions or workspaces are usually called disorders and stigmatized in general society, and those that can be harnessed to improve or increase the amount of work a mech does are praised as dutiful, with all their detrimental symptoms ignored.

The state-controlled psychiatric system is hardly a neutral party in this, meaning every diagnosis, every medical file, every prescription, and every patient and practitioner is another cog in the machine, another manner of control. On a person-to-person level, there often is a genuine desire to help individuals and improve lives, but someone with a diagnosis of nonstandard circuitry will always have that marked as part of their ID. Their employers can see and use that. Because of the way everyone is assigned a function, a nonstandard individual won’t often struggle to find a job, but the types of jobs available to them will change.

Mostly, people have to choose between pursuing an evaluation and diagnosis to get help if they’re struggling, and avoiding diagnosis to have another aspect of themselves dissected into a set of manacles to chain them to their assigned function. Black market therapy has a strong, widespread community, but psychiatric mediations are too heavily controlled to be easily taken or copied, and bootlegs are dangerous.

Hyperfunction

A spectrum of several related conditions with related symptoms that vary in strength and effect. According to the diagnostic standards, a hyperfunctional person has a notable imbalance between social comfort and expertise in personal interests. For routines, skills, and subjects they are driven by or attracted to, they excel, hence they term “hyperfunction”, referring to their above-average ability in their particular areas of interest. This makes them very valuable to functionism, even if their interest turns to a detrimental obsession that interferes with the rest of their life.

Hypercalculative Regulation Hyperfunction

Based on autism. Mecha with HRH develop in a different manner than standard mecha, often struggling to learn common social norms and rules while soaking up all information of interest at a level higher than their peers. Their sensory nets are queued to different impulses, meaning relatively inconsequential feelings or sensations can become catastrophically painful, but certain stimulations are soothing and fun. They often require routine of some sort, predictable procedural schedules or actions they can rely on, with difficulty adjusting to unexpected change. Each individual will often connect with one or several particular special interests, becoming notable in their expertise. While each person is different and these interests usually have nothing to do with their frame’s function, they can often be assigned to work within their special interest, as their passion is valuable. Transmutate has been diagnosed with HRH. Prowl and his trine are likely on the upper end of this spectrum, although they’ve deliberately avoided evaluation.

Hypercalculative Divergent Hyperfunction

If HRH is comparable to the defunct distinction of “high functioning” or “mild” autism, HDH is “severe” autism. The two are just different levels of the same nonstandard circuitry, but functionism puts emphasis on diagnosing according to how easily someone can be used, thus the differentiation of “severity”. Going from the self-contained routine hyperfunction of HRH, mecha with HDH cannot function as a normal member of society. Common elements are a total lack of social skills to the point of little or no language development, aversion to touch and comfort, hypersensitivity, and meltdowns in response to an unpleasant situation. While mecha like these can be given work of sorts, they are considered more trouble than they’re worth, and often live a life of near-indentured servitude under adult caretakers.

Persistent Compulsion Hyperfunction

Based on OCD. Most commonly known by the flagship symptom of a compulsion to follow organization and routine, PCH has a much, much broader effect than that. A mech with PCH has to deal with intrusive thoughts and anxiety, often concerning contamination, violence, loss of control, or loss of morality. Relatively minor rituals like keeping symmetry and order in one’s physical environment keep some of the fear away, but often this can degenerate into complicated and objectively useless routines to assuage the intrusive thoughts, like checking precisely twenty times to see if the door has been locked. Compulsions like this can be draining and time consuming, even becoming dangerous in some cases, and only reinforce the fear after providing temporary relief. The meticulous and careful procedure of a mech with PCH is valuable for jobs that require thorough work, but more debilitating symptoms are usually shut down and medicated until the individual is competent enough to work again. Minimus has minor PCH, undiagnosed, but it may worsen as he ages. Fixit has been diagnosed with PCH and takes medication for it.

Executive Disregulation Hyperfunction

Based on ADHD. Commonly described as “an impulsivity in pursuing fulfillment”, it’s characterized by a short attention span, emotional disregulation and sensitivity, periods of intense energy and lethargy, inability to start or complete tasks, and chasing stimulation until said stimulation no longer provides entertainment. Because of their poor ability to regulate their executive function, many undiagnosed mecha are called lazy or idiotic for being unable to perform relatively simple actions or habits. Conversely, a subject that piques their interest will receive their full attention and effort. The adult Fireflight and the younglings Hot Rod, Skywarp, and Misfire all have EDH, although none of them are diagnosed.

Triple Fracture

This is the condition Blitzwing has due to his triple changer frame. It isn’t seen in any other frametype, hence it’s name. Triple-changers are uncommon enough to be easily targeted by the prejudices of functionism, but not the easily suppressed rarity that functionists wish they were. Aside from greater strength, durability, and flexibility, two alt modes don’t have much of an adverse effect on their physical health. The biggest negative stereotype about them is their “insanity”.

While nonstandard circuitry comes in many forms, the most feared and misunderstood version is triple fracture. It’s a mental disorder that occurs in less than five percent of triple-changers, but nevertheless it has gained synonymy with that frametype. For our case study, Blitzwing's processor functions in three sections: responsive, reactionary, and deflective. His responsive instincts manifest as the personality slice nicknamed “Icy”. This is the calmest, most well adjusted side of him, capable of taking time to think through and settle on a genuine response to a situation, but likely to switch out under duress. His reactionary instincts are nicknamed “Hothead”, and this is the personality slice that has an immediate reaction to stress, and who uses over-the-top anger and bluffing to push back against whatever is making him feel threatened. His deflective instincts show up as “Random”, acting out and adopting an attitude opposite of the mood around him to divert attention from the actual stressor and onto his own actions, which gives him a modicum of control.

He isn’t three separate people, and he isn’t even really three separate personalities. The different nicknames for the different personality slices are more of a tool for him to describe his current feelings than a set of actual names. He simply doesn’t have the ability to rationally choose a response to stimuli because of the three different filters his processor uses to perceive the world. Even his occasional crazier or more violent episodes occur because his instincts are trying to defend him. Triple fracture cannot be medicated either, because what might stabilize one slice will unbalance the other slices, and the processor as a whole will suffer. However, a triple changer with a good support system and coping mechanisms is perfectly capable of living a normal life, personality slices and all. They aren’t inherently bad, either. Blitzwing can more easily stand up for himself when in Hothead mode, and is very good at telling jokes and playing a room when in Random mode.

Modal Triple Fracture

Exactly like the above, except locked into what form a mech is currently in instead of switching out according to a situation. Sky Lynx has modal triple fracture. His responsive personality slice is tied to root mode, reactionary tied to beast mode, and deflective tied to shuttle mode. He stays in root mode most of the time to keep the most rational part of himself at the forefront.

Modal Personality Disorder

Sort of related to triple fracture, modal personality disorder causes a drastic mood swing whenever a mech transforms between root and alt mode, usually between a calm demeanor and a high-energy or intense demeanor. Unlike triple fracture, this does not involve separate personality slices, only mood swings. Since it’s caused by a specific variation in the morphcore section of the processor which controls the t-cog, it’s considered a processor malfunction type of nonstandard circuitry. It occurs more in modal frames than other frametypes. The adult Road Rage and the youngling Cliffjumper both have MPD, although only Road Rage is diagnosed. Diagnoses are disproportionately more common among beastformers, because of the stigma of “beast instincts” overwhelming one’s sapience.

Submechanoid Psychosis

A punitive psychiatric term based on the now defunct inadequate personality disorder. Colloquially known as feral syndrome, this term is less a genuine condition and more an excuse to label unsatisfactory beastformers as less than people. It refers to beastformers and occasionally toolformers who are violent, unintelligent, or otherwise have a personality not perfectly suitable to subservience. Many beastformers with genuine MPD are deliberately misdiagnosed with submechanoid psychosis. If Grimlock were ever to undergo an evaluation, he would likely be diagnosed with this, although he actually has MPD. Riptide, if he were a beastformer, would also probably be labeled as submechanoid.

Neurasthenia

Based on the now defunct neurasthenia. The condition of the high castes, neurasthenia causes fatigue, dissatisfaction, anxiety, migraines, weakness, and depression. It isn’t nonstandard circuitry, but rather a condition caused by too much stress and/or too little stimulation. It’s mostly diagnosed in upper class individuals, following the theory that the constant scrutiny of being an upper class example to society is chronically nervewracking. The symptoms and causes are poorly defined, with contradicting opinions from different psychological practices. The most common listed source of neurasthenia is overworking within an intangible function, such as the performance and emotional labor of a public figure. Prescribed treatments usually including some form of physical work with tangible results, so as to rejuvenate an individual’s motivation with real, concrete evidence of their ability and accomplishment.

Defunctional Disorder

Based on clinical depression. Characterized by lack of interest, demotivation, low moods, and lethargy and exhaustion, defunctional disorder is a relatively common mental illness. It can be caused both by forged nonstandard circuitry and stress from one’s situation. It’s labelled for the way it makes an individual less likely to adequately perform their function, but it has significant effect on day-to-day life and habits outside of work. A mech affected by defunctional disorder may fall into despair and hopelessness, self-hatred, or utter numbness, and may consider self harm or suicide. Dead End, Sideways, Swerve, and Buzzsaw all have defunctional disorder. Only Dead End and Buzzsaw have been diagnosed, but neither are medicated. Many people believe Alpha Trion must have it, hence his drinking problem.

Baseline Alarm Disorder

Based on paranoid personality disorder and anxiety. BAD often shows up as a comorbid condition with PCH. It’s caused by a constant triggering of a mech’s internal preservation and security systems, conjuring a sense of doom and danger at all times regardless of the current situation. Considered a processor malfunction type of nonstandard circuitry, a mech will suffer from paranoia, anxiety, illogical suspicion or mistrust even of a situation they know to be safe, panic attacks with acute physical fear responses, and intense stress and energy drain. Red Alert, Breakdown, and Spinister all have BAD, but only Spinister is diagnosed. He’s medicated, which is what inspired his fascination with medical mechanics.

Overclocking

A poorly defined “disorder”, overclocking refers to a processor overworking itself, moving too quickly to follow itself. This is usually a symptom of a larger condition, often HRH or EDH, but it’s also diagnosed as a standalone condition. Overclocking is characterized by scattered or nonsensical trains of thought, manic energy and following exhaustion, difficulty forming words or coherent sentences, abrupt movement coupled with aborted actions, uncontrollable tics, and a continual sense of restlessness, urgency, or inability to pause. It isn’t exactly rare on Cybertron, but it’s almost never diagnosed on Velocitron. An overclocking Cybertronian seeing a Velocitronian psychiatrist is unlikely to receive a diagnosis, but a Cybertronian psychiatrist is likely to label a normal Velocitronian as overclocking, simply due to their often speedy nature and cultural behavior. Blurr has a stutter, is quick and clumsy, and speaks with the typical speed of a Velocitronian, which means he would likely be incorrectly diagnosed with this condition.

Sporadic Hang Syndrome

This condition is basically the opposite of overclocking, instead causing a mech’s processor to pause, buffer, and/or restart a certain task or thought, often repeatedly. Some people have these problems only with certain actions or feelings, some only deal with it in stressful situations, and some have persistent trouble no matter what’s going on. Symptoms include freezing mid-word or action, forgetfulness, repetition of the same word or action, uncontrollable tics, and random and/or triggered long periods of “blankness” of no movement or sensation, the processor caught in an unresolved task or thought loop.

Autoexecution Syndrome

Caused by an error in loading and running scripts in the processor, a mech with autoexecution syndrome struggles with choices, changing routines, and executive function. Symptoms include improper ending of the recharge cycle, low impulse control, intrusive thoughts and acting before thinking, and compulsion to complete a sequence or routine before doing anything else. While it’s related to PCH and can be comorbid with it, autoexecution syndrome lacks the fear and anxiety aspect of PCH and is classified as processor malfunction nonstandard circuitry. Hubcap has autoexecution syndrome and is medicated for it.

Information Creep

Based on dementia and Alzheimer’s. A condition gained later in life rather than forged nonstandard circuitry, information creep occurs in a very old mech who’s running out of memory storage space. It’s occasionally called blurred data. Eidetic decay is normal in older memories as they are compressed and reformatted for deeper storage, but at some point the memory file itself becomes too corrupted to read or is deleted completely. A mech that has reached old age is almost certain to get information creep at least on a small scale. The condition becomes debilitating when the corruption starts encroaching on large portions of the memory, even into short-term memory. It causes difficulty knowing where or when one is, uncertainty as to who others are or what their significance is, problems following conversations, and anywhere from general absentmindedness to total loss of interaction with external stimulation. One would think that size null mecha are more prone to this, but that isn’t true. The percentage of size null mecha who suffer from more than just slight information creep is much lower than the percentage of older modern mecha who suffer the same. Medics and psychiatrists are unsure as to why.

Overwritten Information Creep

Similar to the above, except not caused by age, rather by an error in the processor that overwrites stored data rather than making a new folder in chronological order. This is uncommon, but can affect any age. Mecha affected will find themselves losing time, forgetting pieces of or entire memories no matter how recent or vivid, losing track of possessions, getting lost easily, and having difficulty connecting information with its source or correlation. Although no one pays attention to him enough to notice, Rung has overwritten information creep, hence his chronic forgetfulness.

Primus Apotheosis

A relatively recent term coined by Froid, primus apotheosis is suspected to affect 2% of all adults who have come in contact with the vigilante factions operating in Iacon. It’s characterized by excessive admiration or obsession with one or multiple faction members, idealization of their teachings to the point of blindly following, dysmorphia in their own frames and irrational belief that they ought to look more like these vigilantes, and abnormally increased interest for people and subjects outside of their assigned function, class, and cultural background. So far, a youngling’s typical overenthusiasm for a new interest has proven indistinguishable from primus apotheosis, so diagnoses are limited to adults. The condition is practically guaranteed in any survivor of relic corruption, usually with especially strong frame dysmorphia. Froid has had to do the majority of diagnosing himself, because that insufferable fool the Academy has hired as their chief counselor has the audacity to claim “primus apotheosis is absolute nonsense”.

Pathological Dissent

A punitive psychiatric term based on the now defunct sluggish schizophrenia, drapetomania, and general political abuse of psychiatry. Mecha diagnosed with pathological dissent are, without fail, rebels and activists of some sort. The official diagnosis claims that these people are “neurologically incapable of being satisfied with their inbuilt function”, therefore the state must take custody of them for their own health and wellbeing. It is by far the most dangerous label any individual could ever acquire. Froid and several others have remotely diagnosed the vigilante faction members with pathological dissent, and Impactor was also diagnosed with it prior to his execution.

#transformers #worldbuilding #cybertronian biology #neurodivergence #mental illness #cybertronian culture #ableism #functionism #tf original continuity #i made myself sick looking up some of the stuff im basing this off #i Cannot imagine any form of functionism that doesnt somehow abuse psychiatry #so thats what im worldbuilding #but i cannot abide a world that has zero help or health #so im making sure to have a mixed bag of genuine and ableist #snap is a dystopia folks

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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years

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ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

#vent/ //#might delete later ///#ok to rb but. i swear to god if this pops off and ppl whine...... literally L I T ER A LL Y come take care of my kids #NO BETTER YET BC ITS ACTUALLY FEASIBLE!! FOR EVERY COMPLAINT. 5 DOLLARS IN MY PAYPAL #SO I CAN AFFORD DAYCARE. LITERALLY IF OYU CLAIM ANY STUPID SHIT BC I ADMIT ITS HARD TO CARE FOR SMALL KIDS #U HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT PUT THAT FAKE BITCHY JUDGY CONCERN INTO ACTUAL RESULTS. THANKX #anyways on a real note again this is a vent moreso than a disc horse post thats meant to be shared around so #its not perfect its just. my feelings over the past couple years dealing w this man #really fuckin tired of it i really spent so many years 100% on the side of 'i have critical understanding i get to judge'#no i didnt. no you dont. its not comprehensible till you're pushed to your own limit with childcare. i hate being that btich #cuz nobody wants to hear it. but its the truth swallow it #long post //

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scholarlysandwich · 7 years

Text

The U.S. Government and Its Ableism

Just because the U.S. government passed the Americans with Disabilities Act in 1990, doesn't mean our government has our best interests at heart. There has been a lot of ableism against mentally ill people in this country, right from its inception. I'd like to focus on things from the 15th Amendment onwards.

The 15th Amendment to the Constitution was passed in 1870 and granted all male citizens the right to vote regardless of "race, color, or previous condition of servitude." This, of course, didn't stop white people from inventing creative ways to prevent black and brown men from voting, but at least it was on the books that they had the right. This left so many groups open to state legislation, however. Women were right out, of course. But in multiple states, there were provisions against allowing idiots, imbeciles, the infirm, the insane, or others who have been institutionalized from voting. This was considered good practice because these people weren't thought to have full grasp of their minds and therefore couldn't make good decisions about themselves, let alone their country. To this day, there's no federal law that ensures mentally disabled people the right to vote.

The 1917 Immigration Act expanded on previous immigration acts and added a few provisions, including excluding any potential immigrants who were "idiots, imbeciles, epileptics, alcoholics, poor, criminals, beggars, [and] any person suffering from attacks of insanity." As a bipolar person, I would hope I wasn't manic at the time I made it to Ellis Island.

The Eugenics Record Office was kept from 1910 to 1940 and focused on the study of the breeding of human beings, specifically negative eugenics, which is the process of eliminating undesirable traits from the gene pool. The Eugenics Record office collected massive amounts of data about immigrants including physical differences and racial mixtures. The eugenics movement was influential in implementing social policies and political legislation back in the day and is still relevant today. Take autism. People want to eliminate autism from the gene pool, but if you ask autistic people, adult autistic people, the vast majority considers autism a part of their personality, something inseparable from themselves. They don't want a cure. They want accommodation. They want people to accept them for who they are and treat them fairly. To remove autism from the gene pool is eugenics.

(Carrie Buck with her mother, Emma | from EncyclopediaVirginia.org)

In 1924, Carrie Buck went to court because she was sterilized against her will by her doctor because she was in a mental institution. In Buck v. Bell, the Supreme Court found that Virginia's laws were not in violation of the Constitution regarding sterilization.

Jump forward to 1996. Clinton signed the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act. It changed welfare forever. The act cut off welfare benefits after 2 consecutive years or a total of 5 lifetime years, whether or not the person has a job! This affected countless mentally ill people who rely on welfare because they cannot hold down a job. After the Great Recession, many states moved a lot of money from welfare to other services, effectively gutting the program. People have maxed out their 5-year limit of welfare, and are destitute. Right now, 46 million people live in poverty. Nearly half of those are in "deep poverty," or have incomes at or less than $10,000. Mentally ill poor people cannot afford their medication, and just deteriorate. They resort to crime, or they lose touch with reality and commit illegal acts. Either way, at least in prison they get their medication.

The government has tried in some circumstances to do better by us.

In 1961, Congress passed the Juvenile Delinquency and Youth Offenses Control Act, to get at-risk youth off the street. It designated $10 million for pilot programs to help youth. One exceptionally successful one was New York City's Mobilization for Youth. It was funded in part by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), and included social services, traditional therapy, and family counseling.

In the 2010s, San Antonio, Texas started the Crisis Intervention Training (CIT) program for its police. It was created in response to the way police were treating mentally ill callers in crisis. Police would arrive to a house and arrest, or tase, or even kill the mentally ill person because they didn't know how to handle the situation. According the San Antonio Police, jail is the number one mental health facility in the country, with 356,368 severely mentally ill people imprisoned in the U.S. in 2012. People with mental illnesses stay in prison three of four times longer. The CIT training helped cops learn to tone it down and just talk to these people in crisis, getting them to cooperate in a non-violent manner. Now, 95% of San Antonio Police is trained in CIT.

What the government needs to start doing is extend welfare benefits back to the way they were. There is no price limit on basic human needs like food, shelter, and security. So many mentally ill people cannot hold down a job, and rely on government programs to keep them afloat, and the extension of welfare would help them immensely.

The Affordable Care Act also needs to be protected. It has been threatened multiple times recently and it is often the only thing guaranteeing mentally ill people their medication and treatment. It's certainly the only reason I can afford my therapy and thousands of dollars of medication. Psychiatric medication is especially expensive. If the government wants to make sure we are equally protected, it will guarantee everyone their medical necessities.

#hst 110

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