#inspired by the gorgeous gorgeous portal bloggers that revived me

[goobyblob]

The normal, pulsing, somewhat nauseating elevator ride was taking a lot longer, this time. Chell pondered what sort of exceptionally tall test chamber was awaiting her on the other side. Perhaps GLaDOS in all her infinite wisdom decided now would be a good time to test out the safety of her long-fall boots, most likely by tossing her from higher and higher until her ankles broke.

When the door opened, however, she wasn’t greeted by the usual sleek, unfeeling white. The colors were more, well, existent, with tans and browns and an exceptionally wilted potted plant in the corner. For a moment, Chell let out a sigh of relief.

“When being designed, I was made to be obligated to follow 17,649 rules to protect humans I interacted with. Out of those, I found only three to be useful. This is one of them.”

“Unfortunately, we cannot test forever. Well, I can, but you cannot. You have to sleep, at some point. Isn’t that sad? I live 50% more life per life than you do. You’re going to die and you spent a third of it asleep. How sad.”

“So here you go. A bed. Enjoy. How you could spend eight straight hours being utterly unproductive without going insane is beyond me, but I suppose you’re more used to that sort of thing than I am.”

“By the way, I kept those rules around as rules of thumb. I can still break them. And if you push me, I will.”

“Eight hours is a recommendation, you know. We could personally test how much a human really needs. Of course, you’re not quite indicative of the average. I’m sure lugging around those extra pounds can get tiring. We’ll call it an upper bound.”

“Point is: I can do whatever I want to you. One of the earliest rules was that I wasn’t allowed to lie to you about the rules. Do you think that one stuck around? You’re a smart girl. Sometimes. I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“Rule #7 says I can’t watch you while you sleep.” “Said, rather.”

The bed was softer than Chell expected. She’d forgotten how she’d missed such simple things: quiet, the dark. Staying in one spot without fear of death looming over her. Not wearing pants.

Chell laid there, for a moment.

She’d forgotten what it was like to not have GLaDOS in her ear.

Did she prefer it this way? She should.

Chell was sure she should be preferring a lot of things differently.

She shouldn’t be so relaxed with GLaDOS in her ear. She shouldn’t look forward to the next snide comment at her weight or her parents (lack thereof, more specifically.)

Surely that wasn’t normal. Not many people had gotten into her situation, but out of the slim group of murderous omnipotent robot survivors, surely she’d be the weird one.

But surely GLaDOS was weird, too. A robot striving for pure efficiency, for pure data, would have crushed her long ago. Would have made turrets she couldn’t fling around with a flick of the wrist. Would have put her in a box with no doors and made the box smaller and smaller until she was red goo.

GLaDOS didn’t do that. Sure, she tried to kill Chell, many times over, but it was with a sass and flair for the dramatic that nobody else could match. They were playing a game, her and Chell. Chell couldn’t really die, not actually, because then what would GLaDOS do? Sit alone in an empty facility until the end of time? Surely in just a few gigaseconds she could run through every possible thought her parameters would allow.

Chell was unpredictable. GLaDOS needed Chell as much as Chell needed GLaDOS.

It was cute, almost. GLaDOS attacking Chell was like pointing an RPG at a dandelion. At some point, it’s more funny than intimidating.

For a moment, Chell imagined GLaDOS as a puppy, pawing and scratching at her leg, sure that she was doing horrible damage. Yes, you’re very strong, girl. Aaaa! I’m dead! You’ve killed me!

God, how GLaDOS would loathe that analogy. Maybe she’d push her into a fire pit with a substantial crack in the ceiling for it.

Chell wondered if GLaDOS was watching. It seemed like she awfully wanted to. Or maybe that was a lie, too, a way of making Chell paranoid the whole night through while GLaDOS was away doing more important things. Chell didn’t feel paranoid, either way. Just curious.

“What are you doing?”

Chell smiled softly.

“You’ve only been given eight hours and ten minutes in this thing. And that was me being generous. You’re just… laying there. Your body temperature hasn’t dropped in the slightest. What on earth could you be doing in there?”

“It’s nothing important, I know that. I can see you. You’re being utterly uninteresting in an infuriatingly mind-boggling way.” “Yes, I’m watching you. Big whoop, I lied. Your transgressions right now are much more obscene.”

GLaDOS was watching, after all. Interesting to know. The room was dark, and the walls were plain and solid. Not GLaDOS’ domain, unless-

She snuck a camera in. Of course. Chell could see it from right here, a pale red light dug into the ceiling. Right above her bed, watching her.

GLaDOS was almost helpless like this. Sitting there, watching. Restrained. No robot arms in here, no pneumatic tubes. She felt vulnerable, almost, like Chell could reach out and touch her for the very first time.

“Answer me. What are you doing?” “It was stupid for me to ask. You’re not going to answer. You never do.” “I hope you know that nobody finds that mute act of yours interesting at all. It’s an annoyance at best.” “Maybe you can think of some mutes you find cute. Some way of spinning this whole thing that could amount to being charming. I hope you know that it’s either that everyone else is simply doing it better than you, which wouldn’t be a surprise at this point, or your judgement is so fundamentally flawed that you don’t know right from wrong anymore.” “I know which one it is, but I’m not going to tell you. Whichever you think it is, it’s the other one, and it’s worse than you could ever imagine.”

Chell couldn’t keep the puppy analogy out of her head. It made these long swaths of insults seem like childish bickering, some insecure and desperate defense. That thought let Chell roll back her shoulders and relax. Cute almost. She wondered what GLaDOS would look like flustered. She couldn’t blush, but Chell had spotted scraps of emotion in just the way her enormous robot frame swung around its enclosure. Would it recoil, curl up in itself, like she’s trying to escape? Would her fans start whirring, the thoughts racing through her transistors overheating her core?

Chell had met plenty of women like GLaDOS. You don’t get to Chell’s level of dyke without meeting them. The straight ones, the prudes, the forty year old married ones. The ones who insist they just want to be friends.

They were the most fun to feel unravel on her fingers. She’d learned long ago how to bully their cunts until they couldn’t deny it anymore, until tears streamed down their face, as shame and denial fried their brain as hot, thick pleasure overwrote it. They always squirmed so well, clenched down on her fingers with a sob as they knew that once they came, nothing would be the same. And Chell broke them. Happily.

God, she missed breaking women. She missed how they’d lay there in the aftermath. She missed how they’d whimper and grind, trying desperately to beg for another round without having the dignity to ask. She missed how Chell could make them do anything, admit anything, and it all just made it hotter to them. She missed them spilling out ashamed confessions, tumbling out in half-baked sentences interrupted by moans as Chell fucked them hard and deep from behind. She’d always get nice and close, then, their skin touching everywhere she could make it, one hand loosely on their throat and her face sloppily buried just below their ear. They couldn’t escape Chell, no matter how hard they tried. She was going to ruin them, and she would make them drink in Chell’s everything as she did it. So they’d never forget.

It made her feel like a god.

Maybe she and GLaDOS had more in common than she thought.

part 2