#is it a fic of mine if i dont force yall to learn how my oc's brain works LMFAO

[sevlawless]

nothing without you

pairing: m!seven lawless x f!mc (arabella aveiro)

word count: 962

warnings: none just arabella going THROUGH IT

tags: @blainehayes @agentdumortain @valcubust-main

notes: so the @infamous-if brain rot is here and it's very fucking real lmfao- ever since i played i have not been able to stop thinking about it and more specifically, how my mc would cope post break up with seven. something something i still love you i still have to live that but how does ANYONE live with that .. anyway here it is! the song arabella sings is honeysuckle by pom pom squad

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

if i'm nothing without you, am i anything at all?

the chorus rattles around in her head long after she stops singing it. she seems to be frozen in place, her thoughts drowning out the ability to do anything else, although she does notice the faint sound of silence. the rest of dead apple have long stopped playing, but no one says anything. they seem to be doing that a lot lately when it comes to her.

she wasn't even supposed to be at this rehearsal, and she even agreed with her bandmates when they suggested she take some time away to process everything. the music can wait while she figures out how to move forward.

but all she can think about is music, all she could think about while she spent the last two weeks trying to pull herself back together is to write songs.

how do you go through something so traumatic and not write about it?

losing sev- just his name passing through her brain is enough to make her eyes clench shut, gripping the microphone stand in front for her tighter.

losing him is the worst pain she's ever felt in her life. how do you go from talking to someone every single day for the past eleven years to suddenly no contact? how does anyone cope with that? she'd really like to know.

it doesn't help that she was so unbelievably in love with him. she never was one to believe in soulmates but no matter how dumb she thought it was, she considered seven to be her's.

a soulmate who now wants nothing to do with you.

she lets out a ragged breath, which prompts someone reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"arabella-" it's rowan, his voice uncharacteristically timid, and it makes her stomach churn. she shrugs his hand off and turns to face him.

"i'm fine," she snaps, wincing at the tone in her voice. he's staring at her pitifully. if she dared to glance at the others they would share the same look.

they were just as much friends with seven as she was. why are they all so fucking concerned for her in particular? a part of her wants to say that if they were so upset about her, they never would have taken that stupid vote in the first place. the vote that ruined everything.

seeing the look on seven's face, the hurt in his eyes, the betrayal-

she can't think about this right now. she's spent the last two weeks trying to move on and fuck if she's about to cry in front of the band over this.

she turns back around, storming toward the exit. as she yanks the door open and slams it behind her, she wonders if anyone will come after her.

they don't.

she can't even get into the car before she's a sobbing mess, hands shaking as she clambers into her vehicle, resting her head against the steering wheel. her hands are balled into tight fists as she considers if punching something would help the pain subside. it didn't help last time.

last time. that night casts an unbearable weight down on her and makes her shoulders shake as she recalls her and seven screaming at each other in drunken rage, both saying things they can never take back. going to a place they could never come back from. when he left she punched a hole in the wall and her hand flares up as a reminder. her bruised knuckles are starting to heal now, and some part of her wishes they weren't. maybe so she could have one last piece of seven to remember him by. just one last trace of the effect he had on her so it didn't feel like the eleven years she spent with him were for nothing.

they can't just be nothing.

right?

that seems to be what they are now- he hasn't talked to her since that night and every day, every hour it feels like she pulls up his contact info out of reflex to tell him something. a joke, a lyric for a song, a text just to tell him she's thinking of him. she always manages to realize what she's doing before she hits send and she doesn't think that will get any easier.

if i'm nothing without you, am i anything at all?

the lyrics she wrote down one night after getting drunk in an attempt to get him out of her brain dance around in her mind again.

she can't remember the person she was before seven. it's not the one who stares back at her now as she wipes her eyes and looks into the rearview mirror.

would she like that person? would they be friends? she never thought about it until now. she never thought she would have to.

how do you move on from someone that was so inexplicably tethered to you? where there was arabella, seven was right there next to her.

she looks across to the passenger seat that seven used to occupy every day and is met with no one there. she sees the grey headrest where a black mop of hair used to lie. she sees the middle console where his fingers used to drum to the beat of whatever was playing through the speakers. she sees the dash where he used to lay his worn out combat boots on.

emptiness eats away at her until all she can do is let out another sob.

some part of her wonders if he even feels a fraction of what she does. he has to. for her own peace of mind, she hopes this has been as hard on him as it has on her.

but she wouldn't know.

[spookyvalentine]

Aptitude 1 through 5 for Mercy and Stellan

thank you for the ask!!! lord above my favorite pastime has truly become talking about them all the time i should be banned from my google docs

A: Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

stellan's is answered here!

for mercy? lying, stealing, and smooth talking. they had a rough and exciting childhood on earth, and most of it was spent fending for themself. they briefly had a pair of foster moms that encouraged their sense of morality, right vs might and justice. the only other adult in mercy's childhood was kasumi's grandmama. and then of course, later, anderson

2. what activities have they participated in?

im gonna go for pre-me stuff!

stellan was a little nerd that went to chess/kepesh-yakshi tournaments. and after the first two, won all of them. helped out on the commune. a quiet life

mercy uh. committed so many crimes. like all the time, constantly. went to juvie twice. and only got worse when they joined forces with kasumi

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

for stellan? both therapy and speech therapy. when chakwas (one of their aunts that didn't live on the commune) took them in after the raid on mindoir, they were nonverbal for over a year. they still sign while talking. stellan had to work hard to become a capable and efficient fighter, and practiced with their pistol a lot

and for mercy--breaking and entering, blackmail and extortion, hacking and data mining, going for the throat, fighting dirty, and racing cars. and then when they're anderson's ward, they learn diplomacy and how to wield justice (more) legally

here's a couple snippets you can find here and here (look for 'teenagers') for my upcoming anderson pov fic about baby mercy :) ive got another snip floating around but for some reason i cant find it in my tags lmaooo TnT

4. what things are they bad at?

stellan is wretchedly bad at lying. and not great at hand to hand. OKAY SO my 'canon' shepala is that shiala stays with zhu's hope the whole time and their relationship starts through emails and love letters and the occasional video call. and they dont have their first smooch til the war is over. BUT in my au (god im fucking ridiculous, so sorry yall) shiala joins the normandy after the people of zhu's hope are tucked away as safely as they can be w reapers around, and she trains stellan in hand to hand. in her commando leathers. or in a sports bra and sweatpants. stellan is a WRECK and just. SO red the whole time

mercy's not good at NOT meddling. if they can help, have the ability to solve someone's problem, they will. "I cannot live with myself if I do anything less" type of thing, which makes it hard to rest, sometimes. but they'll go out on a shore leave for errands and come back late with free mods, someone's grandma's best casserole, and the names of bad people to visit--gossip is fun and very very useful. mercy uh, also has a bad sense of privacy at times. it’s second nature to look up everything about you, okay? it’s like kasumi in the citadel dlc just lurking cloaked and listening to people lmaooooooo they are also extremely bad at catching a clue when it comes to flirting and romance

5. what is their most impressive talent?

stellan's capability of forgiveness. their strategic mind

mercy's ability to connect quickly with others, and how to get someone to open up

they both have wells of seemingly infinite patience, and are, actually, good dancers and skilled drivers

[whiparoundandcry]

Earbuds dump

someone wanted me to go through all the questions so //cracks knuckles

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

dunno what ‘this way’ specifically means, but I tried reenacting the way a lot of my fav fics have been, in way of word count per chapter, character interaction, plot balanced w/ the ship, ect

2: What scene did you first put down?

Maaan, it’s hard to remember what came first now. I have a doc thats like, 20 pages of just notes & me outlining the plot and world building. The first scene written on that doc is lloyd revealing his identity to the team, which actually happens about a year before the start of the story!

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

hmmmm, I’m a sucker for when the narration contradicts the dialogue- I just think it’s really funny, pfft. can’t think of any large scenes I do that in rn, but I also really like this bit, during the city hall meeting The woman sitting at the corner chair closest to the ninja shifted in her seat, and stared pointedly at Kai and Jay. Kai tried not to shift under her stare, but he could feel Jay stiffen next to him. “You two saved Satoshi the night King’s was attacked, right?” Kai’s mouth was immediately dry and his brain cut out. Her voice wasn’t loud, but compared to the silence before, she might as well have fired a gun. The question itself was straightforward enough, but Kai hesitated to answer - first, because Green ordered them not to speak, and second, he had no idea what she was talking about. I try to keep Kai a reliable narrator (aka I project a lot) and I feel like this part is funny for first-time readers, bc you get the feeling of “do I know who that is??? Did I forget?” then kai confirms it like “who tf”

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Kai looked up from their hands to meet Jay’s eyes, all warmth and kindness. “I dunno. I’ve only know you for a month, but I still feel as close to you as I do any of them.”

ouch!!!! 

5: What part was hardest to write?

GOD ALL OF THE FIGHT SCENES,,, this fic was so ambitious oh my god. That’s part of why the final chapter is taking a lot longer than normal- big fight scene ;v; also the meeting with the mayor was difficult to write bc like, I dont know shit about how city government works. My search history for the time I was writing that scene looked like I was researching for an essay, christ. 

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

I’m finishing it :,3

7: Where did the title come from?

real honesty hours: I thre in the bit about Kai giving Jay his earbuds on impulse. I never planned for them to be a reoccurring symbolic plot device or for them to even exist but damn, here we are.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

My relationship with my brother def inspires how I write Kai & Nya. I say that I project onto kai a lot, but I project all of my ‘trans younger sibling’ energy onto Nya. ngl, most everything I’ve done in this fic was inspired by batman tho

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Yeah, I have around 3 scrapped scenes. I’ll probably never release them, bc they were scrapped for a reason :,3

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Kai & Jay are the most boring out of the four boys :, ) so I figure’d it’d be easiest to fit their charters into the plot I had in mind, I couldn’t think of any way to fit in the “zane’s a robot” or “cole literally died” plot into it without making the entire story about those things. If I was made out of time tho, you bet earbuds would be a polyninja story.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

I honestly just like that I’ve gotten as far as I have into it, and the perception that its gotten has been so incredible //sobs. Aside from that, my favorite parts about it are probably Kai & Nya/Lloyd’s relationship, and also that Nya is trans. I hadn’t seen any fics where she was trans before, and tbfh its my favorite headcanon. I’ll never write a cis nya in my life

12: What do you like least about this fic?

The relationship build up seems kinda... eh? I definitely should've put more into it, but at the same time I feel like I did as much as I could with it, just bc I’m so inexperienced with that stuff. I also with I could do a better job of conveying the vibe that I want this version of ninjago to give off (gritty, rough, gotham) but without being super edgy about it?  Also I’m really upset that Cole & Zane are getting shafted in Earbuds. I should’ve come up with more stuff to include them, but everything I came up with just felt forced, so they ended up just being background characters- which is was more than they deserve, bc they’re honestly my favorite boys on the team.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Well, there’s always the 8tracks playlist I made a while back (should transfer that onto spotify sometime) but theres a couple songs that I think fit the characters super well that aren’t on the list • “Fresh Eyes” is a super great Kai&Jay song QwQ “so suddenly I’m in love with a stranger / I can’t believe she’s mine / now all I see is you with fresh eyes” From Kai’s pov @ jay??? hell • “Better days” was a song rec sent in by my good bud hedley-ramsay anon, and it’s perfect for Kai’s POV, as he’s trying to stay optimistic about all the shit thats happening around him “Guess I didn't break it, but I bent it / I know I didn't say it, but I meant it / I shoulda had a little more heart and soul” • “Miss Atomic Bomb” is very very good for Lloyd & Harumi. tbh its a good song for them in canon too, but the dark city vibe it gives off fits so well with the Earbuds AU. “I was new in town, the boy with the eager eyes / I never was a quitter, oblivious to schoolgirls' lies” • “Be Still” is also a super great song for lloyd, in this au and just in general. “Be still / wild and young / long may your innocence reign” DONT CALL ME OUT I REALLY LIKE THE KILLERS

14. Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

not... really? its a fanfiction about legos, I dunno if there’s any lesson to be learned from it. Be gay & do crimes

15. What did you learn from writing this fic?

writing fanfic is super rewarding & fun!! It’s a pretty pig time sink sometimes, but damn if yall don’t make it worth it. 

thanks so much for your continued support everyone!!! The last chapter has 2 scenes to go and is currently over 10k words 💪

[edelwary]

when you were first getting into art, what and how did you draw? (like did you just doodle ur masterpieces on pieces of paper and posted-notes or did you have a proper sketchbook) how did you find motivation? bc ive been trying to draw but I always get unmotivated and stop while still wanting to get better just by doing nothing.

REALLY LONG, LOTS OF ADVICES FOR ARTISTS : 

TL;DR ; skip to the HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW part bc i have a megaton of shit to say lol + The MOTIVATION part 

mmh… I’ll get into details with this one tbh bc it’s a long ass process ahah : 

I live by the sea ; when i was youung i used to draw TONS of boat, but like, dollhouse boats, you could see the insides and stuff ; i loved to add tiny details and stuff, and imbricate everything together !

around 8 or 9 yo, i went to the public library with school and discovered the wonderful world of mangas ! I basically… Copy pasted an entire Mermaid Melody tome x) 

For about 2 years i alternated between reading mangas and trying to copy them ! Then i just kept drawing in the margins of my schoolwork for about… 5 years ! I have a Fuck Ton of sketchbooks of that time, it was… The start. Lol. Never say it’s bad because it’s never bad, just not there yet !!

Around my 13 yo, i went every saturday, for two years, under a bookstore ; there was a cave, and drawing classes ; that teacher was mean and harsh and stuff, but like… Not really. He would take away my eraser for the class, force me to use pencil, to draw something else (bulky boys instead of magical girls). 

I’ve learned a lot, more in terms of How To LEARN to draw than to draw itself, but i still progressed a LOT !! 

Then i kept drawing by myself for a year and i really worked hard on it ; about hours a day, trying watercolors and stuff ; i have a real problem with colors in traditionnal art, but i’m much better with lines (i should scan some RAD stuff i made in the weekend, yall ive never done anything this good i stg i dont know why i always forget im so much better on paper) 

This gets us to my sweet 16 ; i have to year of advance, bc i got ‘’’promoted’’’ idk how to say it ; anyways, i entered my (current) animation school for the first year at 16; vERY IMPRESSIVE AND TERRIFYING. 

And i learned. A fuckmegaton. Of shit there. 

Now i’m going for my third year there and i can make photorealistic marmora blades and cyberkpunk decors if i want to and that’s rad, but here is

 HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW : 

I have one HYPER important advice, and i’m keeping it to heart since i’m like, 11 : Have. Sketchbooks. Please !!! It’s very important. Here’s why : 

You keep everything with you in one place. You have 1 sketchbook, it’s basically easy to take every where (a A5, or A4 are pretty easy to carry, i have like, 12 of those, and around 8 of A3) 

You keep track of what you’ve done. It’s super important, bc first you can cry of laughter at your old stuff bc its cute but not so good, and second, you can just be like ‘holy mama’ and see how much you’ve improved

It’s very important to be organized. I WORK in art, and trust me, if there’s something that i’ve learned this year through tears and missing files and bugs : Be. Impeccable. Now if it’s for fun, go a little loose, and just have a folder for art on your computer, and a sketchbook, no need to stress, but the better you try to keep a record of where is what, the better you’ll see whats wrong

Notebooks are friends !! You can draw, write, glue stuff, make notes, lists, everything !!! I have my life in those. It’s more important to me than any of my phones. 

Be proud of it. Like, not everything, duh ! But try to tell yourself than it’s like a RPG ; even if it’s only 2 xp here and there, one day you’ll beat level 40, and that’s super important : art is. Fuckin. Long.

I cant stress it enough. It’s soooo long !!! SO LONG !! it’s years. It’s like karate and fishing and ANYTHING. To be good at it, it takes time, but it WILL COME if you keep trying. There’s no secret passage. 

You’re gonna me it, believe in me who believes in you. 

Use. References. 

Coming from a little shit who’s got a really good visual memory, that can sound like bs, but i stg everything is always AT LEAST twice as good if you’ve used a visual support. 

I’m not saying COPY EVRYTHING (even though thats a good training) I’m saying, if you really want to do that asian tiger, please have at least two or three pictures of it nearby. Take photos of your hands, and stuff ! 

Make it harder. 

No eraser. 

Paint. 

I draw all my backgrounds on my sketchbook with INDIAN INK; no returns, no refunds. 

Ink, Ink, INK !! Don’t allow mistakes.

And if you make mistakes :

New page, restart

It’s okay

It’s for you

I once started back again a whole EXAM bc it was bad, i got one of my best grades 

You’ll improve and be more assured if you know you just have to DO IT. Trust me. It’s VISIBLE; if you can erase, you fidget and hesitate and ‘’kbeujebez hahhaaa idkkidsd’’ ; stop ; do it, and if you don’t like it ? Try again, there’s no time limit

Draw as large as you can 

There’s no interesting story here, it just helps. Bigger movement of the hand, more place for details, breathing lines

Thin lineart helps

Thinner. Make it even thinner

Break the rules, but not the ones that structure your art 

Big lineart ? Why not

Unfinished lines, vaporeous colors ? Pretty

Cubism is actually based on extensive and intense practice of classical art, it’s not wibbly wooblly ; the anatomy is more correct than you think 

Structure and composition are important, but so is movement and life ; choose your fighter ; mine is fluidity and fun, i’m like, a rogue/archer in drawing. Some people are dwarf fighter. That’s amazing and great. 

Don’t be afraid to do nothing

Pages and pages of my sketchbooks are actually just lance facing right and smiling, you know… 

Sometimes it just doesnt work : two ways :

Take a break, Kiki’s delivery service style

Keep trying, break your art until it obeys and comes back

Take breaks. Breath. 

Don’t compare. I do it, it doesn’t help at all. You’ll make it ; and if you compare, keep in mind that everyone’s different

I’m not gonna lie, it’s NOT easy, it’s even hard 

But I really, really think it’s worth it 

MOTIVATION :

My main bitch 

I’m always pumped for art because i can LITTERALLY NOT do anything else ; i love reading and writing and stuff but at the end of the day i just want !!! to draw !!!! aaaaaa-

Fall in love with it, and with the possibilities ; i have stories to tell, tell me yours ! Do your best, one day it WILL work

Actual advices : 

I have an inspiration blog where i just reblogs stuff i like to draw them later

Find a picture, copy it. Do it again. Change the characters (i have 2 ocs and Lance and Keith as default characters) in the pic. 

Like an artstyle ? Break it to its very core, analyse it, copy it, redo it, trace it and ABSORB it. Don’t copy/past, LEARN from your heroes.

Do what you like. I have 86578 pieces of voltron, this is not a coincidence. I have ENDLESS ideas for this show, wtf. 

Try new things. Buy indian ink im begging you. It’s so cool. 

Have a game with yourself, or a challenge. STICK TO IT. 

Study. When you’re bored, usually it’s because you’re stagnating. Make it harder or do hands until you cry. 

Love your backgrounds; make backgrounds, study trees, and tokyo streets, and venice’s bridges. Decor is just as cool as characters, if not more

Mess a little with everything. My roomate more than one found me stained from head to toes trying to DO STUFF 

Draw outfits. Draw what you want but can’t afford 

MAKE YOUR LIFE A COMIC. Remember those sketchbooks ? Make a comic a week/month/every full moon, whatever, and draw your life (mine’s the roomates au lol) 

Prompts blogs are cool too 

Make fanart of a fic you liked ; you have the characters and the pose already, you just have to illustrate ; double bonus, you probably will make a writer’s day, if not year !

That little movie that plays when you listen to your favorite song ? DRAW IT

Your favorite scene in your favorite movie ? Redraw each shot. On post it. Plus it looks awesome afterwards to have the infamous TREX scene of Jurassic Parks in post it

Get bored. That’s inevitable. Dance, scream, get back to it. Walk, draw everything you see. 

Make a paper google map street view : Take a walk : every 50 meters, draw what is in front of you. 

Snapchats your friends. Draw their snapchats when they answer 

Draw maps. Invent places. Invent bikes, and hovercrafts, and monsters. Make your everyday inventory. Make your life a video game, and do the concept arts of it. 

FETCH your inspiration. I have approx. 20 artbooks, full of drawings and concept arts of my fave movies/games ; take what you like and add it to the story you have since you’re 8. We all have one. 

Ask for it ; your sis, your mom, me even ! If you dont have ideas, someone will have them. 

WELL i’m gonna stop there, even though i got like, 9864567 more to say, but with this you should be fine ! Anon, i’m rooting for you ! we all start somewhere, just hold on!!!! 

[tenacioussheepalpaca]

@xyloophones tagged me and !!! eeep :D okay! let’s do this!

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 10 people

# following: 272

# of followers: 30!! n like idk where yall came from but owow. (waves noodle arms of appreciation \o/ hiiii) :3 thank u n feel free to say hi! I’m always up for making friends :)

average hours of sleep: Pfft!! i’m terrible at this. If I’m stressed it’s maybe 4 hours minimum mandatory for functioning even if i can’t force my brain to turn off very well, but on weekends it’s more like 8-ishh?? Weekdays tho sometimes it’s 2 or maybe 6 you just never know... help.,,, no one should’ve let me become an adult

lucky number: 2

instruments: violin (love it. it’s a great stress reliever and fun way to annoy the neighbors. no I do not feel like sherlock when i play at random hours. who said that? yea yea okay so maybe I do a lil bit...)

what are you wearing: black button down, maroon scarf and some slacks. still in work clothes and can’t wait to put on some pajamas n eat some spaghetti for dinner

dream job: English teacher in foreign country ✨

dream trip: RUSSIA!!! GOTTA GO SOMEDAY! Learned the language n everything and for some reason it’s had a special place in my heart since high school. darn visa process n paperwork. maybe this summer?? 

birthday: Mid October :) Right after the leaves change colors. Imma be 23 this year yipes!

height: 5’6”

gender/pronouns: she/her

other blogs: started 2 but don’t have time for them regularly just yet. gotta get settled in my job more but it’s in the works! got one based on my thesis project that’s got me super jazzed and I think it’ll be pretty cool. This one is mainly for stuff I really like/enjoy :)

nicknames: nope, never had one but I’d like to think one day I may earn one.

star sign: Libra??? this never made sense to me but there you have it? i am a confused. but also kinda like the fortune cookie-esque advice I get related to this. 

time: 8:04p woo! procrastinating somethin awful so internet here i come!!

favorite bands: AAAACKKK?? everything??? honestly my fav music ranges from classical orchestral scores to hard punk rock to grunge to pop to club and rap and 1940s swing bands and classic 1980s and nightcore and acapella covers???? soo? I’m literally the worst person to pick for DJ bc it’ll be aAALLllll over the place...

favorite artist: i LOVE pretty much anything in watercolor or impressionist style or related to my fandoms but def the fav has to be Degas bc, yeah his art inspired me soo much growing up and i had posters of his paintings clipped out of my calendars to hang up around my room for the longest time

favorite tumblr artist: OH MY GOSH SO MANY PLS DONT MAKE ME LIST THEM

song stuck in your head: “Can’t go on without you” by Kaleo, “You’re not there” by Lukas Grahm and “Friends” by Marshmello and Anne Marie (bouncing among the three but there’s ALWAYS a song going in my head...)

last movie you watched: Megamind!! just can’t help but rewatch. good memories. i know almost all the lines by heart n it reminds me of family

last show you watched: Violet Evergarden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGHHH YES I love this show so much right now and it is my new obsession <3 reminds me a lot of Saber from the Fate series and I love where it’s going storywise :D!!!!

why did you make your blog: ummm????? I didn’t know how tumblr worked so I just? kinda?? signed up?? and started finding stuff i liked? just out of curiosity so idk what i want it to be really?

what do you post: AVERYTHINGGGG!! If you’re here. You get a taste of my fandom feels and random musings and a lil bit of everything else... soo hehehe. I mostly talk in tags too so an actual post is pretty rare... :) 

last thing you googled: Rupert’s drops exploding bc a fic mentioned it and honestly who doesn’t like exploding glass??

ao3: :) one of these days I’ll figure that out too.... but rn, nope.

do you ever get asks: nope! but feel free! i’m pretty unreachable during weekdays but I’d be happy to get back to ya on the weekends :D

how did you get the idea for your url: autogenerated bc i’m a derp and couldn’t think of something and this sounded interesting and a lot like the family jokes we’ve got going at home soo ye. I’mma make it mine. :)

favorite food: Apple pie

last book you read: akdlfjd does fan fic count???? (it absolutely does btw and I have several going rn) last physical book i read was Blood Lure by Nevada Barr which i lifted from a youth hostel book exchange about 5 months ago. I don’t really have room for physical books with my current living situation but I love them SOO muCH. they are my precious.

top 3 fictional universes: Lorein Legacies,  Edge of tomorrow, and DC comics bc of my batboys <3 :3 (I fall in love with so many stories this was Really hard to choose so there you have it!!!)

Woot woot!! We made it yall! Didn’t think 30 questions would be that long, but here we are :D 

Ya don’t have to do this if you don’t want to but i’m tagging: @screamingatanemptyroom @cherrymaphanji @crazybowtielover @darkstarsshinetoo @magicdreamsandmusic

[spaceleviathan]

a BRIEF CHAT

Just wanted to say that Find Your Bones has been a long-time labour of love, not necessarily in how long it took me to write (though it did take me a long time) but how long its lived more or less entirely in my head. Anyway, here are a couple of thoughts:

I dont know if i’m happy with it but im defo not un happy. I had an additional scene in which was important to write but took a bit from the type of story i was trying to tell, but also gave it a turn which I don’t think was needed. Might add it under a cut just to show u guys what i mean. 

I wrote this fic in 2 different sections, which were about 3 years apart. I’d more or less completely wrote the first half probably a year after i’d first started figuring out how i’d want to structure this world, and then everything after Jack showing up was written late last year. I dunno how obvious it is, honestly, but i’ve tried my best to smooth it all out. 

Took a lot of inspiration from a lot of different places, and weirdly the old Heathers movie actually helped to finish it. The bit i cut out had a character who was basically meant to basically be JD i’m not even pretending, and u can still see the influence in like ...2 throw away lines in the fic. But i’m mentioning it cos it is literally the only reason this ever got finished. Weird how and when inspiration comes to u.

Building on that, The original incarnation of this story had Ennis and the Joker as separate entities (in a less metaphorical way then what i ended up with), and so JD who i already see very strong Joker influences in was just... a really handy way of giving me one possible backstory. I was going to discuss how they met in more detail, but all i really ended up with was the little section under the cut WHICH I THEN CUT ANYWAY. 

And thats the thing I really learned from this fic - how to just... kill parts that don’t work. It’s fairly basic writing technique but is absolutely one of the hardest things to do. I’m still learning. Like, for example, I’m not thrilled that I changed POV’s just for the last bit, cos that stands a chance of really breaking the flow.

On the flipside, because this isn’t the most... intuitive crossovers, it’s been a whole song and dance just to post it (and now i’m even trying to justify myself) so i guess it’s also forced me to remember that this is a fanfic and i can change POV’s whenever i like. I can change it right now. Witness me.

And so the heroic author stopped offering whatever insight they think is worth imparting on unsuspecting followers, and goes the fuck to sleep.

Oh, and come yell at me on twitter pls i’M BEGGING 

peace out yall

Once upon a time, Ennis Del Mar walked into a gas station, where a man who went by Jay stared intently at the slushy machine.

“Spare any change?” The man asked, in a strange drawl not immediately recognisable, but not unfamiliar. Ennis nodded, and didn’t make eye contact even as Jay dipped and moved his head.

It took time for Ennis to catch sight of the man’s face, rounding on him only when Jay had followed him around the whole station. “What the hell d’you think you’re doing-“

Ennis froze.

Jay said, “It’s wonderful to meet me,” hands deep in his overcoat pocket, mouth smiling crookedly. “It gets so lonely being the only one.”

Ennis could feel eyes on his back, and heard whispering he knew must be about them. Jay leaned close. His features were familiar to Ennis, slightly more hollow around the cheeks, more manic around the eyes.

“Who are you?” Ennis asked, lowly, trying to step back without drawing any more attention to either of them. Jay didn’t seem interested in the sparse few people littering the inside of the station, and smiled that bit brighter.

“Say,” he said slowly, instead of answering, and Ennis felt a crawling up his spine, as if Jay could see straight through his skin and see everything he was trying to hide underneath. “You sound a long way from home, friend.”

“I ain’t your friend,” he responded, blocking his arm against Jay’s chest when he tried to step even closer. For a moment, Jay paused. Then, he smiled again, wider and wider each time.

“You look like a man with a story to tell. And you know what they say, a stranger is just a friend that hasn’t told you their damage yet.” He was too close, pressing against Ennis’ arm, cornered him in an empty aisle far from the counter and nosy customers. “You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.”

“Now listen here-“ Enis started, furious, flushing, realising what was happening for the first time and mortified that a stranger could recognise him so plainly.

“Do you have a truck?” Jay asked. “My bike broke a couple of miles back, I’ve been pushing it along the road, but I think it’s kaput. Killed itself in the heat. Think I could grab a ride?” He winked, and Ennis scowled. “I’ll buy you a beer.”

Ennis’ instincts were to refuse the man, push him back or punch him in the face. His shame overcame even that, and he wanted more than anything to get out of this place and away from any curious eyes.

So he asked, already dreading his decision, “Where you headed?” And Jay just kept on smiling.

Once upon a time, a man woke up surrounded by stench and pain. His ears were ringing, and he couldn’t move his mouth. His head was tacky, there was a splash of red on the patch of pavement he’d used as a pillow, and he had a distant thought of a warm bed and a mother’s hand soothing some distant sore.

As of now, he felt like his entire face had been split into two. Catching a dizzy glance at his reflection in a filthy window, he realised he hadn’t been entirely wrong.

He winced into the mid-morning light, barely hitting him through the shadow of sky-scrapers. Thought, I don’t know, which covered many of his current questions. Realised, slowly, there was a gun in his pocket and a wad of cash too thick to be gained in anyway but one. Wondered, finally, the clearest thought yet, with not a small ounce of glee, what in the hell he’d been up to.