#is there a tag specifically for Obi-Wan being Anakin's father/brother figure?

[phoenixyfriend]

381. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” with codywan, or anakin and obiwan (platonically) if you’re still doing these.

390 Prompts!!!!

I attempted to write Sad Things, feat. my headcanon that Plo taught Tholme.

----------

“--a padawan I wasn’t even ready for!”

Anakin freezes, holds his breath, doesn’t even blink. He waits, and hears a rough sob, paired with low and soothing words in a voice he thinks he recognizes. He doesn’t think either of them heard the door. He steps fully in and keeps his steps silent. He closes the door with that soft whisper it always has, and wonders if they heard it this time.

“You love the kid, Obi-Wan.”

“Loving him doesn’t make it easy, Quin,” Obi-Wan says, voice rough and broken in a way that makes Anakin’s gut curdle. “I wasn’t... I‘m not... he should have been my brother, not my student. He should have been Qui-Gon’s to raise, or... I haven’t had time to be my own person yet, let alone teach someone else.”

“If it’s any help, I felt that way with Aayla, and I actually had a few years to work solo before I started teaching her.” There’s a shuffling noise. “I think you need to visit a therapist, or at least a grief counselor--”

“They’ll take Anakin away. I can’t--I can’t let anyone know I’m struggling this much, Quinlan, they’ll take him, and I don’t know--”

Anakin feels tears pricking at his eyes.

“If they find they need to remove him from your care, they will figure out where to place him and who to put in charge of him before they do it,” Knight Vos says. Anakin thinks he sounds like this is a sentence he’s said a million times. “Hell, if it turns out he doesn’t want to be a Jedi after all, there’s a process to sponsor him getting, I dunno, an engineering degree? At Coruscant U.? Kid’s good with droids and basically a tiny genius, he’d--”

“I don’t want them to take him,” Obi-Wan interrupts. Anakin creeps closer. “I want to keep Anakin, I want to be his family, I just--”

“You just wish you weren’t the only person he has?”

Obi-Wan makes a pained noise. “The entire lineage is in tatters, Quin. My master’s dead, my grandmaster’s gone, I’ve barely met Feemor, Komari went insane and then died, Xanatos did the same, I don’t--I don’t even know what’s going on with Rael, he’s refused to speak with any of us since Nim died, and now it’s just me and a child with more trauma than I know how to help with, and a blasted old frog who’s forgotten how to deal with any sentient under the age of five centuries and--”

“Breathe, Obi.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Obi-Wan sobs. “Quinlan, I have no idea what I’m doing and I don’t know who to turn to. There aren’t any more masters, no more adults, that I can call up and talk to for advice, not if I want it to be helpful. I’m the adult. I’m the master. I’m the only person that boy has and I’m not enough!”

Anakin gives up on staying still and silent and runs into the room, throwing himself into Obi-Wan’s middle and hugging as hard as he can. He and Knight Vos are on the couch, so Anakin ends up with a knee in his abdomen, clinging and teary and trying to push as much I care about you and you mean a lot to me and you’re enough into the hug while he can.

“Shit,” Knight Vos whispers. “Kid--”

“You’re enough, Master,” Anakin says, squeezing as tight as he can. Maybe if he hugs harder, Obi-Wan will understand.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” Obi-Wan breathes. Anakin hears the clinking of a teacup being set on the table, carried on a faint wave of the Force. His hands rest lightly, carefully, hesitantly on Anakin’s back. They’re warm, even through the layers of linen and synthcotton. “Anakin, you--how long were you listening?”

Anakin shrugs. He hugs harder.

“I’m going to get some more tea,” Knight Vos says quietly.

The couch shifts as Knight Vos stands, and there’s a moment where Anakin can’t hear anything but his own breathing, can’t feel anything but Obi-Wan’s rough outer robe against his cheek and the hands on his back. A moment, and then Obi-Wan moves his hands, pulls Anakin fully into his lap and lets skinny arms come up around his neck. Anakin feels safe, when Obi-Wan hugs him fully, and he tries to push that feeling into the Force so Obi-Wan can feel it to.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighs. “This is--no, dear one, this is a me problem. It’s not for you to fix.”

“But I’m the problem,” Anakin says, and feels Obi-Wan’s arms stiffen around him. “And I don’t want to be a pro--”

“You are not a problem,” Obi-Wan says, rough and a little vicious. He pulls Anakin closer, cups a hand around Anakin’s skull and presses him against his collarbone and neck. “You are a child. The problem is the system that wasn’t set up to support you.”

“But you’re upset.”

“I’m upset for many reasons, but none of it is your fault,” Obi-Wan insists. His hand cards through Anakin’s hair. It feels nice. “I’m... a lot of it is because Master Qui-Gon died, Anakin, and that’s still very recent for me. I’m sad, and sometimes I’m too sad to do the work I need to do. Sometimes I’m too sad to get up and take care of you, and that’s a problem, because you just turned ten, and you need an adult.”

“...those are the days when Knight Vos comes and you ask Aayla to help me with my homework?” Anakin asks. “Or when you tell me to go help Knight Eerin with droid maintenance in the healing halls?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan says, voice heavy. “And I’m sorry you have to deal with those days. I should be more present for you. It’s my duty as your Jedi master, and--”

“And he cares about you a lot and it upsets him that you’ll know and worry now,” Knight Vos interrupts. Obi-Wan finally lets Anakin sit up straight, but doesn’t make him get off and stop cuddling. Knight Vos gestures for each of them to take some tea. Anakin’s has blue honey in it. He says thank you.

Everything’s quiet for a bit, and the Knight Vos says, “I’m going to talk to Master Plo.”

“Who?” Anakin asks, even as Obi-Wan protests, far louder.

“Master Plo Koon,” Knight Vos says, holding up a hand to stall Obi-Wan’s protests, “Is my grandmaster. He taught Master Tholme, though you wouldn’t know it if you met them, with how grumpy my Master is. But Master Plo  loves kids and has plenty of experience dealing with young Knights who aren’t ready for things, and he’s sympathetic to these things.”

“He’s on the Council,” Obi-Wan hisses.

“You need help, Obi,” Knight Vos says, unyielding as duracrete. “And he’ll know how.”

“Quin--”

“I think you should do it,” Anakin mutters.

“...Excuse me?”

“You’re sad,” Anakin says, not looking up from his tea. “And you said it makes you more upset that you can’t take care of me when you’re sad, so you’re already sad and then you make yourself more sad. And I don’t like it when you’re sad, so if Master Koon can help, and he’s going to be nice about it, then I think you should talk to him.”

“You heard the kid,” Knight Vos says, and Anakin can hear the grin. Still, this guy is Obi-Wan’s friend and gets all soft and nice when he keeps talking. “It’s okay to need help, Obi, and Master Plo will be happy to talk to you and figure out a way to take care of yourself and Anakin without risking custody.”

“Please, Master?” Anakin asks, wriggling around to look Obi-Wan in the face. He looks so tired. “I don’t want you to be more sad than you already are. I can’t help about Master Qui-Gon, but if--”

“Okay,” Obi-Wan cuts him off. He closes his eyes, squeezing them shut like that’ll help him feel better, and shakes his head a little. “Fine, I’ll talk to Master Koon.”

Anakin lodges himself back into his prior position, head tucked in between Obi-Wan’s jaw and shoulder, and feels his Master sigh as he rubs Anakin’s arm. “Thank you, Master Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan just sighs again. He doesn’t make Anakin stop cuddling, though.

[nibeul]

i’d love to hear your thoughts on qui gon?

Alright, this is the second part of answering that I mentioned earlier so I’m just gonna.. go into a breakdown of Qui Gon’s character and how I view him.

I haven’t fully watched the Phantom Menace since I was a kid (10-ish years ago), so I wouldn’t say take my word as gospel. I have, however, recently touched up on some other material to refresh my memory and I’ve also rewatched some of the scenes, so I think I have a firm enough understanding of his character to discuss it. Anyways, let me actually get to my breakdown.

Qui Gon is a weak character. Not in the sense that he’s physically weak, but in the sense that he lacks depth and we only see him onscreen for one movie before he kicks the bucket. Maybe it’s thanks to the fact that they only had one movie to make an interesting character which is why he fell flat (for me at least), but I’ve seen single movies do much better in the character development area, so it’s a bit of an iffy excuse. Regardless, looking at the Phantom Menace from start to finish, I think the first thing that comes to my attention is the fact that Qui Gon doesn’t change.

Why is that a bad thing? Well, ok, nobody changes overnight, we know this. And some people don’t change at all, aren’t open to it, but we know refusing to keep an open mind is detrimental. The thing with Qui Gon is that he doesn’t change because he refuses to see outside of himself, and this isn’t put into a negative light either. To be honest, I am unsure if Lucas was trying to paint Qui Gon as an objectively “good person” or “bad person” (Liam Neeson himself is deplorable, but that’s not my point at the moment). Of course, it isn’t just black and white, but I feel there is a certain way that “morally grey” characters should be done (it is broad, because you will still have nuance in that gray area) and Qui Gon does not really.. fit. He seems like someone who is meant to be seen as a likable character but he just isn’t.

Qui Gon clashing with the Council in itself isn’t bad. My character, Ko, harbors a strong dislike for the Council and I think it is an interesting point to explore, the difference between various Jedi and their relationship with the Council. That being said, when it leads to direct butting heads without progress and/or a willingness to see the other side, it becomes less of a “difference in opinion” and more of a “overgrown man child refuses to look past his own beliefs”. And don’t get me wrong, I have my own problems with how the Council functions, but the way Qui Gon handles it is pisspoor.

Going onto my next point, Qui Gon is very manipulative. I mean, Obi Wan had to get it from somewhere (and I would not entirely say that Obi Wan is a manipulative person, but he is not above using manipulation), but if we look at how Qui Gon interacts with Shmi (along with Padmé and the rest of the handmaidens), he takes advantage of his charisma in order to establish himself in her family setting. He knows that he isn’t going to free her—which actually leads into the whole problem of the Jedi ignoring the slave trade in general, but once again, not something I am going to delve into here��which is why he needs to show himself as someone who can be a “father figure” to Anakin in order to effectively distance him from her. Anakin doesn’t get the choice of being a Jedi; it’s either that or he remains enslaved.

He views people as tools. If we breakdown his relationship with the Force, it can basically be summed up as “he believes it will guide everything that happens” (which actually reminds me of very religious people who attribute everything to their Maker) to a point where he isn’t really.. putting in the effort to get there. For example, he does not worry himself with figuring out a way to get off Tatooine because he thinks that the Force will sort that out for him. With Anakin, he believes that the Force has led Anakin to him so that Qui Gon can train the kid. His freeing of Anakin does not come from a place of good will, but more so the fact that he thinks the Force is telling him to.

This also bleeds into him betting on podraces and loaded die, which also ties into the fact that he knew he wasn’t going to free Shmi. Once again, he is not freeing Anakin because he believes that them being enslaved is wrong (in fact, earlier he states that he is not going to free them), but because he believes the Force is telling him that he needs to train Anakin. He tells Anakin that he is the chosen one—I mean, imagine the weight of that status on a child? I honestly believe that if anyone but Qui Gon had found Anakin, like Plo Koon for example, things would have gone differently. Anakin did not need that weight on his shoulders at such a young age—and views him as that. He makes it clear when he is speaking to the Council.

Which becomes another thing where he literally brushes off the fact that he already has a Padawan. He is very willing to toss Obi Wan aside in favor of training Anakin, and he states so with indifference. This ties back to an earlier part in the movie where he says something along the lines of “stop focusing on the future, focus on the present” because, thanks to his inability to think about the future for just a moment, he has condemned his Padawan and put himself in a predicament that is the result of him getting caught up in the moment. His blind trust in the force does not account for the actions and opinions of others, nor does it account for the fact that he still needs to treat things with tact/put the effort in himself.

Then, kind of looping back a little bit to my statement about how he views Anakin, he does not bring up Anakin’s former life to the council (if I remember correctly Anyways). It is just “this boy is the chosen one. He needs to be trained”. This also ties into my earlier points about how he refuses to see issues outside of his own, and how he is very “it has to be my way”. He has tunnel vision; he does not see outside of that. There is a reason that Xanatos fell, and it is not just because of Xanatos’s own actions. Yet, even after having a Padawan that has fallen, Qui Gon does not change his ways. Yoda guides him to Obi Wan as an attempt to heal Qui Gon, and I can only imagine the emotional stress that would put on a literal child.

Running off this point, the most insight we see of Qui Gon (?) is through Obi Wan/how Obi Wan sees him. Because Obi Wan grieves for Qui Gon, we are sympathetic for him, yet Qui Gon abuses Obi Wan’s attachment to him in order to ensure that Anakin is trained. Obi Wan should not have been taking on a Padawan at that age, certainly not when he had just been knighted, yet he does because of Qui Gon. It’s deeply problematic, and while I do thoroughly enjoy watching Anakin and Obi Wan interact, Anakin needed a parental figure, not a brother.

So that is my brief? Analysis of Qui Gon’s character and how I specifically view him. I went more into why I personally dislike him since that is what I had talked about before, but also because if I am being honest, his negative traits outweigh this redeeming qualities. Anyways, I am going to create a tag for my general Star Wars thoughts since I have made a couple of posts and it is probably time I organize a little bit.