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#is there some esoteric lore for husbandry in here?
kit-williams · 1 month
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Cuckoo Anon
Firmly assuming this would be non Canon but this popped in my head and I Must spread it!
Everybody Here is 21+
You know those kinda cheesy romance novels you see in the book/magazine sections of stores?
With handsome, sometimes shirtless, men holding collapsing women in long silk gowns? With titles like The Highlander's Woman or Drowned by Temptation.
...You have to turn your eyes away with a blush as you walk past the book section in your local grocery store.
Astarte romance novels, a Whole new genre has popped up over night and you are Not coping well.
They range in subject and Marine type, Taming the Chaos, Renegade Revelry, His Loyalty Abounds.
Oh lord you are So embarrassed but you can't look away! Or rather you keep flitting your eyes trying to not look, only for them to get pulled back.
The photography for them was honestly immaculate, and that makes you both respect the artist, and loath them all at once.
Good lord, you should just hurry up before Your Astartes gets back from finding his items.
Then again...a quick peak wouldn't hurt. Just for curiosity! In fact you'll Only read the description! Not actually going to read about...that kind of stuff with a Space Marine.
You reach for the shelf.
"Hrm?"
"Eep!" You jump at a familiar grumbling greeting behind you. Whipping around you see your Astarte, with him is a cart full of items he'd set out to retrieve. His posture portrays confusion at your sudden outburst.
Your embarrassment doubles, and your blush erupts filling your face and neck with heat. "Ah h-hey b-buddy! Don't sneak up on me like that! You almost made me jump out my skin! Hahaha." You try to play it off, while blocking his view of the shelves that must not be named.
Your Astartes still looks confused. He tries to peak around your body.
You move to intercept. "Ah hey! Did you find all you stuff?? Great! Great! Let's head home I'm pretty ti-ERD!" You yelp as you big fella gently picks you up and places you to the side.
"Wait No No No! Don't look!" He holds you back just using one arm as if blocking a pet trying to snatch something off a plate.
You can't bear to watch and cover your face with your hands. Maybe he won't understand the titles? Oh please let him not understand your written language! He has eyes doesn't he? He'll clearly be able to see you were eying books about handsome space marines sweeping mortals off their feet. You're pretty sure Astartes can understand Context Clues!
"Hrm..." Your woken from your dooming as your marine grunts again, and you peak through your hands. He's  straightening his posture, and he's-he's got something in his hand.
He'd plucked one of those FORSAKEN romance novels off the shelf, then without another word, places it in the cart.
He then sets the cart in the right direction, and with an exceptional gentleness brings his ceramite clad arm behind your person to usher you foreward.
Curiosity, though baneful to you already, bids you look at which one he'd grabbed. Perhaps he thought you wanted it and were too embarrassed to ask. The thought makes want to melt into the floor.
Until what you see surprises you. The book in question doesn't feature your marine type on the cover, not even a similar faction. But the human model does share some physical qualities with...you??
You glance up at your Astartes as you walk. He glances to you, and...the arm behind you moves from simply nudging you along, to being gently but tenderly wrapped around your form, bringing you closer to him.
You blush for an all New reason, as your space marine continues to proceed to the checkout.
Maybe...maybe those novels aren't so bad after all.
I like to think a lot of these are penned by either people fucking/getting fucked by their Astartes OR are written by Astartes themselves. Oh sure you'd expect the far more SPICY novellas to be written by either noise marines or Chaos space marines dedicated to Slaanesh right but then there's one or two that's being written by a Black Templar with a pen name and a whole god damn author persona because he would rather flog himself publicly naked then let anyone know he's the one writing those erotica level novellas about a Chaos Space Marine seeking redemption and using the power of love as a way to heal, and of course the other series he writes about some mortal and a Black Templar.
Of course I also see the grocery store romance novellas also sometimes being set back home usually just either sticking to a single location but given the scale of 40k that either single fortress monastery or battlecruiser is large enough to contain the plot. Also you bed your britches that for those photography ones that got some battle brother from that specific warband/chapter/legion to pose because if you're going to have a trashy cover and use photographs and not god damn paintings that they use to have then its going to be accurate. (Its the Emperor's Children... both Loyal and Chaos who handle this)((Occasionally the Blood Angels))
As for you dear reader... how cheesy some of these stories can be though sometimes they have a habit of veering off into borderline horror at times with how grim and dark some plot lines can get. Sure if you pick one up about and probably written by a Chaos Space Marine there might be a likely hood of casual sacrifices being mentioned though bless the editors and publishers for making sure those stories are properly tagged. However, even the darker novellas tend to follow the 'power of love' trope, the guy gets the gal, etc. (For better or worse in the case of Night Lord stalker and/or yandere romance/erotica novellas)
Goodness me what started out as one or two books has amassed into a collection... and you don't think you can find anymore to add to it when you clearly get ahold of a story written for an Astartes verses a human. How can you tell? Well besides it being written in gothic and from what you've been able to translate how it is written in a very different style... but far more focused on the mortal. Perhaps like with the different types of marines they've got stories that focus on the mortal?
You can't say only speculate as your Astartis refuses to answer you. But how are you to know he's been writing about you and all the filthy things he would love to do to you. Basing the pair in his books, for both mortals and Astartes, off of the two of you. But who can say... its only speculation.
Tag list: @bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog @thevoidscreams @barn-anon
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