#is this even actually a thing or did i see like one person doinf it and imagine it. whatever.

[knightlyrogue]

never fuckinf mind im back. because i have no one to tell this to anymore because i cut everyone out of my life and im abt to cut even more

thinkinf about you, and what i would have done if i were in your shoes. Youre a really stupid fucking person and you say you learned but you are onlyblearning things that should have been common sense. you know who you are. you left me with the 20 year old for WEEKS. knowing they were like that KNOWINF WHAT WE WERE DOINF TOO?? IM SURE THE CROPPED PORN HAS IMPLICATIONS????? or were you really that stupid? or did you never care for me at all? i cared about you so much. Sooo so much i made you my life and you knew it why couldnt you have just told me to back up so we werent like this years later i could have gotten over it. you did this YOU DID THIS. im going to actually do it one day and will you be as haunted as you said youd be? will it cloud your mind as much as you said it would when it happens? i fuckinf doubt it. i know it wont. but we will see when i finally get the guts.

[izupie]

4, 5, and 6.

thank you for sending these in aaaa <3

4 - What are your favorite types of fanworks to make?

oh, definitely fanfiction ! Something about writing is just so much fun to me. I think it's trying to capture the characters in words by trying to describe what I see in my head. Like, trying to hear their dialogue in their voices saying what I want them to say, and then writing that in way that I hope makes the same thing happen to someone else.

does that make sense???

To me, I can make anything happen in a story! Anything I can think of! I just have to make the words work by arranging them in the best way I can, and put the punctuation in the places I think works best (yeah, y'hear that microsoft word? you can underline my punctuation as incorrect as many times as you want but I do what I want this is my story now)

the fact that it means I get to spend more time with my favourite characters and ships is just the cherry on top !

5 - What are your favorite types of fanworks to see/read/listen to etc.?

oooh, interesting. I think it's gonna have to be fanfiction again. I have cried at a comic a handful of times, but I have lost count of the times I've cried over fanfiction. I have literally laughed out loud, smiled uncontrollably, gasped, held my breath and had to throw my phone onto the table so I can screech and flap my hands in the air before I can continue

I was a huuuge book nerd as a kid growing up, so I think I just developed a really strong ability to fully deep dive into books and writing and totally immerse myself in them - which is great fun honestly

I also get addicted to fanfiction in that very typical have-to-keep-reading-even-though-it's-already-3am-help-me kind of way

AND I LOVE IT

Big shout out to all the artists out there though. When I haven't got the headspace or time to read a fic (which is a drawback of the medium) then artwork really is my saviour. It's like being able to enjoy more content of whatever I'm into, at any time! Artists are so talented and they carry fandoms on their strong shoulders ;;

6 - What has been one of your favorite fandom experiences?

It was probably last year (?) (I think) when I was just starting to really get involved in the IT fandom properly and I was just starting to make fandom friends and there was this like, one week or something where me, @scrunchi and @paotulip did this crazy three-way collab of art, writing and cosplay for a coffee shop AU.

It just kept snowballing and other members of the fandom were noticing it and enjoying it and it really put a smile on my face !

The enthusiasm and joy surrounding the whole thing was so much fun.

Oh and there was the time I first joined Discord and honestly I was so lucky that I had the best discord experience straight off the bat with the first ever server I joined. I don't know if it's still going, because I left when I left the fandom, but @kacchako-server was one of the best fandom experiences I ever had and I will always treasure the memories.

There was just this planets-aligning good fortune of there being a really solid group of lovely people, a decent mod team, an active and supportive community and everyone was just there to have fun.

I remember staying up until 3am playing Uno online with everyone, or that time we played truth or dare and the dares were like, eat a handful of raw spaghetti but the person doinf the dare didn't have any, so just grabbed pasta spirals instead.

I cried laughing at the dumb pokemon fusions we all used to send to each other - because the more cursed it looked the better. and Oh! the HOURS I spent using the pokemon bot. We were all so competitive it was hilarious.

We would play group games of cards against humanity and whenever I won a round everyone lost it.

(everyone is always so surprised when I can play cah lmao)

so okay, not a lot of actual fandom content in these memories - but we were all there for the same ship and it brought us all together.

It was just this little pocket of what fandom is all about really.

and the most important thing, the most vital thing, that I wish people in fandom would remember more often is that we HAD FUN

[doctorlecterstheremin]

hannibal s1ep12 relevés

•georgia madchen i love you ❤️❤️❤️

•will rly only care abt victims when he heavily relates to them he is so motivated by himself and nothing else

•i wonder how much will thinks he did the copycat murders hmm and when he starts to think it’s possible

•the parallel of the soup scene in this with the breakfast scene in ep one 🥺 like a last supper before wills starts to suspect hannibal , the beginning and the end of this chapter in their relationship 🥺

•i understand hannibal kinda had to get rid of georgia in case she remembered but like fucku hannibal i love that woman

•also he is CLEARLY bitter she got close to will

•freddie’s instincts r so good she should’ve been a profiler

•ngl can’t see shit with my blind open this show is so fkn dark

•oooo will is sexy when he raises his voice

•ok like i do understand why will is the suspect of the copycat murders but i don’t think his connections between them would be the thing to make him look guilty? made sense to me mayb ur all just shit profilers compared to good will

•hannibal looks so pretty in these episodes n the ones w will in prison , trying to look so innocent and surprised at will 🙄

•HELP bedelia offering jack wine as soon as he tells her this is abt hannibal and will 😭 she KNOWS these fruits r a problem

•ok so it’s early days n not time for this discussion BUT HOW DID THAT GUY SWALLOW HIS TONGUE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME

•jack zeller and jimmy r such a good team is so obsessed w them

•y do will and abigail talk to openly abt her killing nick lol someone will hear u!

•we don’t see much will and abigail but this scene makes it so clear how close they are and how deeply they understand eachother. i don’t think abigail has quite the same darkness as will but for will to have someone who even partly understand how he feels abt killing is so huge for him

•’when the pressures of my personal and professional relationships with will grow to great i assure you i will find a way to relieve them’ LMAOOO tell urself that hannibal u can’t kill that man he has changed u

•ok i find it hard to believe that will would realise it had to be someone close to him doinf the copycats but not be suspecting hannibal so i wonder if he’s trying to like trick hannibal into thinking he hasn’t realised but wants to play him .. not sure how tho but ig just to see what happens , he has that nature

•wait i think that’s obvious actually

•lmaooo i fkn love a heated conversation between jack and hannibal

•ok i’ve always found gjh a rly dull killer and i reckon that’s on purpose because like .. when wills being overtaken by him it makes it less convincing that it’s a garret jacob hobbs thing and clear that it’s a wills thing and it’s just that hobbs happened to be his first kill. ik were not rly led to believe will did the copycat kills but it’s made to look possible, and the mundaneness of hobbs’ character makes it clear he isn’t being overtaken by his personality but coming into his own

•interesting that will is so set on feeling like fishing and hunting are different liek obviously they are but he wants to separate them as such separate things when it’s just down to how he thinks with ultimately the same outcome

•hannibal is soooo creepy in this scene it’s like .. the first time u realise how planned out this is and how shameless he is in his plan, like on first watch it’s a bit confusing bcos it makes it seem like he doesn’t care abt will at all but like ofc he does but he’s so cold

•abigail is so strong like she’s obviously scared but she asks questions and doesn’t run, ig she’s accustomed to her dad so like .. it’s sad bcos it’s from trauma, unlike will

[kawaiianimeredhead]

Oh right I wanted to rant. Im still on my phone so there might be typos but oh well

Edit: this got way longer and rambly than I expected oops. I hope this read more works, i never actually checked yesterday when I used it to see if it still worked on mobile so if it doesnt oops and sorry

Anyways. In september a new company took over our contract and thats a whole rant on its own. The previous lead (my dad but not important) left before the new company came and he left Sam in charge. Sam has been there for like four or five years and he's a pretty good guy. When the new cobtract started he was very quickly overwhelmed with the bs and also with the paper abd computer stuff he had to do so he stepped down. Hes still there and actually was still in charge for a bit after he stepped down because we didnt have a new lead.

And now we do have a new lead. This was apparently a Process from what ive heard. Nobody really wanted the job and im not sure how the Boss from the company even went about hiring but i heard that a couple people he considered weren't interested and then I was told that someone was hired or was going to be hired and quick before she even started. I heard these from two differenr people because one told me she qas being walked around and woukd start soon and another said she wasnt coming a day or so later. Someone was hired though and the first night he was there so was the Boss showing him around kinda. I spoke with him a bit and he seemed nice. Def better than the Boss who I cant stand beinf around for long hes got weird and annoying vibes around him.

None of this is actually particularly relevant or necessary for this rant but it came out anyways.

So this new lead has tried all thr different shifts/jobs out and and has been with us for like a month or so now maybe? The first schedule he was properly scheduled on was such a SHIT week/schedule because I went from working 5-4 days a week to 3 and instead of doing bathrooms which is 3 hours or 4 depending on if I'm also doing trash to working 2 hours one day, 2 or 3 the next, and 3 or 4 the last. And it sucks. Then, the first schedule to come out that he made (with the help of the Boss) had ALL of us on less days and hours and HE now working every day but one and working both in the morning AND at night. Now I'm not convinced this was soley his decision because I know he made this schedule with the Boss and i have a suspicion that the Boss encouraged him or persuaded him or some other kind of bull shit to do the schedule like this. And then the week after was the same schedule copied again and this week coming up is the same minus a few small changes.

Now all this is annoying and bull shit on its own but not even the main fuel to this rambling rant. With this schedule, hes scheduled to clean the bathrooms and trash every day except Sunday, which is when I am scheduled on them. Last week was the first week of this and besides the day I'm specificed to do bathrooms im not given a specific job. Imbonly told to do "extras" so ive asked Sam and hes told me to do offices one day and some windows the other. I come in Saturday ready to do the windows which ive been dying to do because they look awful and they used to be my Thing so I get really annoyed about them often but then I notice the trash hadnt been done. So I start doing that thinking maybe that was what I was supposed to be doing. Then while doing this I notice the main breakroom doesnt look particularly clean, breakrooms are a part of the bathroom persons job. This was annoying but because it wasnt Bad I left it. I then go to the next break room which is smaller and always messier because more people stay in it for longer, this one also looked dirtier than it should be. In addition, the bathroom's trash hadnt beeb taken out which is a part of the bathroom job. Bathroom trash is separate from trash trash as far as jobs go, theyre usually done together but if someone is doinf "extras" and someone else bathrooms, bathrooms normally gets bathroom trash abd extras the rest. Something felt really off about the bathroom as well and combined with the breakdowns I had a suspicion that bathrooms hadnt been done. So I decided to check the costumer bathrooms for their trash and their cleanliness. When I got there they absolutely had not been done. Which ! I hadn't planned for. I was taking my time on trash and now I had to do bathroom s.

Nobody had been called or texted about the lead not being at work. And he absolutely has our numbers. We used to sign in on a time sheet and that would have helped us noticed but we recently got a finger print time clock which, as far as I know, we cant check other peoples hours on. So we had no fucking clue he just hadnt been in the previous night.

Then this week comes along. Friday talking with Sam he mentioned something along the lines of not checking the bathrooms. Mentioning that its not really our fault if we dont abd they havent been done because since were not scheduled for them, we have no reason to assume they wouldnt be done. So I hadnt looked in the bathrooms but I did notice the break room looked a bit messy and which had me a bit concerned about a repeat of the previous week. But I didnt wanna do them and I knew Sam didnt either so I left it be but texted nick to ask if hed seen the lead the previous night. Nick confirmed hed been in and was seen cleaning the bathrooms. Yesterday, I briefly looked into the main break room and it looked not great, and then later I went to the bathroom in the smaller breakroom's bathroom (they have really nice soap they buy themselves thats not really importantto this tho) and noticed that one looked AWFUL. It absolutly hadnt been swept and I felt bad but it wasnt what I was scheduled for so I just kinda left it... Their bathroom also had 1ply toilet paper in it, which is what we had when the company first took over it its AWFUL everyone complained so we switched but the unused rolls are still in our closet. Nobody told our new lead this so he had put some of this in the bathrooms. Then later on in the morning, I noticed several trash cans had stuff in it. Not trash but like residue from trash? Like sticky spots of soda oe coffee, some gum, things like that. Basically things that pointed to him only dumping out the trash and not changing the bag. The bags dont always get changed everyday, thats not really an issue, but if theres something still kinda in them they normally are changed because thats gross and why would it just be left like that... I also noticed that up front by the entrance door none of the trash had been got. The busiest area for trash (from customers) and it was still ! There! And I had actually heard Friday or last Friday that this wasnt the first time. Again I left it because I had other things to do.

Now this morning. I worked bathrooms and trash. Trash went ok, I changed a lot of the bags becsuse I prefer to do it regardless and it was just normal overall. Then bathrooms. The bathroom cart is a mess. Which started my mood. The top is all unorganized and theres dirty water in the mop bucket. When I went go get new water, I had set the mop off to the side assuming it had already veen run out and dried because it had been in the part of the bucket where you ring it out and it had been there since yesterday morning. I finished filling the bucket and then look over and notice the puddle forming under the mop because my assumption had been wrong and worse, it smelled like pee. ! Carring on The first two bathrooms were ok, not great but fine. Then I got to the main breakroom and noticed itd clearly been cleaned, Sam worked the day shift Saturday so I assume he swept and mopped. I also swept and mopped. Then, the small break room. Sam didnt clean this one. Which is fair on his part because I think throughout the whole day at least one or more people are sitting in it with no time for someone to clean. So I start and its just the whole thing, even the bathroom floor, was so bad. Aside from the floor the bathroom part was ok, but the floor really didnt seem to have been swept. And the main floor absolutely hadnt been swept. This was obvious from the start but it kept making me madder and madder as I swept and saw how much trash was on the floor. It absolutely put me behind because I wanted to get as much as I could. The cutomer bathrooms also looked pretty bad which is had to tell who thats on, but wheb I got to them it was apparent somethibg else I hadnt fully thought of as a problem until then. Behind all the toilets, like on then but behidb the seat part, there was so much DUST. I had noticed before in the other bathrooms but didnt really think about it because of things plus i see the dust more often collect in the orher bathrooms than that one for some reason and I didnt even realize this but because it was something New in the costumer bathroom it was really noticeable now. Which made ne even madder. Its not hard to clean, were supposed to be cleaning the toilet seats anyways so getting just behind them isnt anything!

And its just so aggrivating. The longer at work i was this morning the more it pissed me off. Especially because in addition to what I was seeing, the things I had heard from others over the last couple of weeks started piling on.

With my own eyes i had seen how bad the cart had been and from sam I heard that the water in the bucket had been in there all week, he suspected that he wasnt changing it. He also commented on the rags all over the cart thinking that he wasnt using paper towels to clean and instead used the rags. I heard about how a couple of times now hed forgotten or ignore the front trash cans and some others. I heard from someone in the meat room that when he cleans it he doesnt do that grear a job and even broke a couple small things. Which is all very concerning to hear since thats a fucking sanitation issue!? And I heard from nick yesterday that he thinks that the lead isnt cleaning all thw bathrooms every day and is instead only cleaning them when they look dirty. Which I'm a bit inclinded to believe because the underside of some of the seats seemed much dirtier than id expected.

And its all infuriating! The Boss is the one who showed him all the jobs, none of us showed him any of what we do it was all the Boss. So like, did HE tell the lead not to do this or that? To do some of it to save time? I dont know but some of it is common sense regardless of what hes beeb told hes still fucking it up and hes our fucking boss. And the main one doing everything!

The store hasnt looked as clean from the start of this new contract and now it's even worse and its awful!

And I dont have a way to end this rant it got really long snd feels like it needs a good closer but I dont have one...

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Nothing New (Jimin x You ft. Park Jihyun)

MASTERLIST

A/N: this is the result of what happens after spending the whole night googling and staring at Jimin’s and Jihyun’s beautiful faces. how can a pair of brothers be so good looking? hahaha. 

Summary : Falling for your brother’s best friend is nothing new. So its nothing when Jimin falls for Jihyun’s bestfriend right? Especially when the said friend has a huge crush on Jihyun himself?

“Wow, not bad!” Jimin exclaimed as he pushed his sunglasses up to his head from obstructing the view of his little brother’s new apartment. Jihyun just moved to Seoul to continue his studies, and Jimin and his parents are currently looking around his new apartment, making sure he has eveything he needs. His parents are busy combing through every inch of the place, making sure that their son will live comfortably.

“Mom, dont worry so much. I’m already an adult! And Jimin-hyung is just nearby!” Jihyun sighed at his mother constant worry.

“Your brother wont always be able to take care of you Jihyun. What are you going to do when he’s on tour or something?” Jihyun rolled his eyes.

“Oh my god. I know how to take care of myself mom! I dont need Jimin-hyung to babysit me!” Jimin chuckled, understanding both his mother’s and Jihyun’s distressed. His little brother is the family’s baby, of course his parents is going to make a fuss about him moving so far away from home. And Jihyun is finally an adult, so he must be craving for some sort of freedom, and moving away from the family gives him exactly that. “And to make you feel better, shall I remind you that Y/N is my roommate?”

Their mother nodded in an obvious relief after remembering the fact. “Yes, you are right. I forgot you are living with Y/N. At least I can count on her to make sure you eat and at least take a bath once a day,” Jihyun rolled his eyes again.

“We are the same age! How can you trust her more that you trust me?!”

“Wait, Y/N is going to live with you? Your puny bestfriend who has the biggest crush on you?” Jimin raised both of his hands, halting the conversation between Jihyun and his mother. This is news to him. His baby brother is all grown up and having a girl as a roommate.

“She’s not puny hyung! And she does not have a crush on me! We are just best friends!” Jihyun denied whole heartedly.

“Oh honey. She obviously has the biggest crush on you. But I don’t blame her one bit. My son is so handsome, it will be weird if she didnt like you,” his mother went over and pinched his cheeks.

“Oh god, please dont say things like this when she arrived please,” Jihyun groaned. “I dont want to scare her off,” Jimin laughs. Jihyun and Y/N has been bestfriends since they were little, running around and playing in the mud together. Y/N was a timid little girl, shy and awkward, with a slim tiny body that makes Jimin always perceived her as a weak small child who followed his brother around like a puppy. It is also a well known fact that she has the biggest crush on Jihyun, although his brother doesnt seem to recriprocate the feelings, but they are still the best of friends. The doorbell rings, snapping Jimin out from his thoughts.

“Hyung, can you get that? Its probably Y/N. We need to move this couch over there,” Jihyun motioned to the new couch they just bought. Jimin nodded and went to open the door, only to be greeted with a girl who doesnt resemble the puny girl he had imagined, but instead a full grown woman, smiling brightly at him.

“Oppa?”

“Erm… I think you have the wrong house. This is Park Jihyun’s apartment,” Jimin stammered, still mesmerized by the girl’s beauty and eye blinding smile.

“Oppa! Jimin oppa! It is you! I can recognized your face anywhere. You look a lot like Jihyun oppa, how can I ever not recognize you?” The girl laughs. Jimin was surprised. Who is this girl and why does she know both him and his brother? Jimin took another look at her face and he starts to see something familiar in her eyes.

“Wait… Y/N?”

“Duhh. Of course its me oppa! Who else could it be? Dont think just because you have become a hot shot idol and didnt visit me for the last four years that I would let you slide for not recognizing me!” She squeals while rolling her eyes and jumped in to give Jimin a tight hug, just like she usually did when she used to see him when she was younger.

But everything about this hug felt different. Jimin didnt feel like he’s hugging Jihyun’s puny bestfriend. In fact, he is hyperly aware that he is hugging a beautifully grown woman, and as Jimin smell and feel her scent, the smell of her hair and the curves of her body, he knows he’s fucked.

/////

Ever since moving day, Jimin spend a lot of time visiting Jihyun’s apartment, using “checking out what’s his beloved brother is up to” as a definite reason. He will just sometimes randomly showed up, sometimes with takeout food, sometimes with a movie, sometimes with an invitation to treat the two of them to dinner or lunch.  If he’s lucky, Y/N, the person he wanted to actually see will be there, and on even more luckier days, only Y/N will be there while Jihyun is out doinf errnads or attending classes and having something needs to do, dressed in an oversized shirt and messy hair in a bun, which had become Jimin’s favorite look on her.

Jimin thought his infatuation on his brother’s best friend will pass. He meets beautiful girls all the time when he works, why is Y/N any different right? Just another pretty face, that is nothing new to him. But she is not. He knows she’s not, and as he spends more and more time with her, Jimin starts to fall harder. He starts to fall for her laugh, her sense of humour, her views in life, her sarcasm, everything about her.

Jimin wonders how this could happen to him. How did this little girl grow up and turned into everything he wants in a girl? And why does his dream girl has to have a huge crush on his own brother?

“I think I’m in love,” Jimin suddenly declared as him, Taehyung and Yoongi are lazing around watching TV.

“Oh fuck, do I have to be here for this? Can I just go?” A sleepy Yoongi immediately gets up from his sleeping form. Jimin glared at him. Taehyung shifted himself to sit beside Jimin and looked at his hyung who is sleepily hugging a pillow.

“I’ll take care of this. You can go continue sleeping in your room hyung,” with Taehyung’s confirmation, Yoongi immediately gets up and hastily went to his room.

“Seriously. That hyung! How can sleep be more important than my feelings right now?” Jimin grumbled, making Taehyung laughs.

“Dont worry about him. Now tell me what is this about? I didnt even know you are meeting a girl Chim. How can you not tell me?” Taehyung pouts.

“I did tell you about her Tae. Its Jihyun’s roommate, the one I always told you about,” Jimin said quietly, feeling weird to admit out loud about his feelings towards Y/N. Taehyung’s eyes widen as he remembered who Jimin is talking about.

“Wait. You think you are in love with Jihyun’s best friend? The one you called puny and awkward?” Taehyung exclaimed. Jimin scooted lower in the couch.

“She’s not puny anymore Tae! Nor is she awkward. She has turned into this… this… beautiful woman,” Jimin passed him his phone to show a picture of Y/N that they took together recently. Taehyung’s eyes widen again at the picture.

“Woahhh,”

“Who’s the hot chick?” Jungkook who passes by peeked at the phone in Taehyung’s hand. Jimin immediately snatched his phone back. Its bad enough he has to fight for Y/N’s attention from his own brother, he’s not going to win if the muscle pig maknae joins the race.

“Nobody,” Jimin grumbled. Taehyung laughs at his friend’s reaction.

“Its Chim’s new love interest Kook. Dont even think about it,” Taehyung warns him with a playful smile.

“Jimin-hyung sure knows how to pick them. She’s really hot,” Jungkook gave one last statement before walking away, leaving the two of them alone again to continue thier dicussion.

“She’s gorgeous Chim. Now I know what you mean,”

“The problem is, its not just her looks that I like. I like her Tae. Everything about her. She just… gets me, you know?” Jimin sighed as Taehyung nodded silently.

“Have you tried telling her how you feel?”

Jimin shake his head. “No. How can I? She likes Jihyun remember? And isnt it weird for someone you have always think as a big brother suddenly confessed to being in love with you?” Jimin groaned in frustration at the fact. He really dont know what to do. He wants Y/N so bad but she is so out of reached. He doesnt want to scare her off either.

“There’s no harm in trying. You did told me that Jihyun doesnt seem to like her in that way right? On the bright side, you know she must finds you atleast a little attractive at the rate she keeps saying how good looking Jihyun is. You and your brother has the same look Chim!” Taehyung grins, making Jimin smile too. That is true. People has always said that Jihyun looks a lot like him. So if Y/N finds Jihyun to be handsone, she must thinks Jimin is handsome too. “So just go for it Chim. You got nothing to lose, but a lot to gain. What’s the worse that could have happen anyway?”

Jimin nodded and but wonders if he will ever find the balls to do what Taehyung suggested.

/////

Jimin lets himself enters the apartment when no one answered after he knocked a hundred times and found that the door is unlocked. He is greeted with the sight of Y/N vaccuming the living room while dancing, or atleast tried to, and singing loudly to Twice which is playing on the TV.

No wonder they cant hear me knocking. Still,  its absolutely dangerous to leave the door unlock like that!

Jimin take purchased and stand by the back wall, silently watching Y/N who still didnt realized his presence. Jimin felt his heart beats faster as he watched Y/N trying to follow Twice’s dance, looking adorable as hell as she shakes her body, trying her best but fail miserably to follow the group’s cute moves. Jimin always thought girl groups are cute when they danced, but when Y/N does it, its cuteness on a whole other level. Cuteness that just seems to do things to him. Y/N finally deemed the living room to be cleaned enough and turn off the vaccum and as she turned around, she almost had a heart attack seeing Jimin standing there, grinning at her.

“Oppa! When did you arrived? You scared me!” Jimin chuckled.

“Serves you right for not locking the door. Its dangerous! You two are careless!” He scolded her as he walks her way.

“Sorry oppa. We must accidentally forgot,” she smile sheepishly. “That is what big brothers are for right? To remind us of this things,” Jimin felt his heart ache as she calls him big brother. Is that all she will ever see him as? Jimin doesnt want to be her big brother. He wants to be more than that.

“Jihyun is taking a shower. Come and sit with me oppa while you wait for him,” Y/N patted the seat on the couch besides her, which Jimin happily obliged. The two of them continue watching the girl groups perform on the TV screen, well Y/N is. Jimin is just busy controlling his emotions and racing heart for sitting so close to her when Y/N suddenly turned to face him.

“Hey oppa?”

“Yes?”

“I always wonder. The girls are all so beautiful, cute, talented. Why didnt you or any of your members date any of them before?” Y/N’s question took Jimin by surprised. What is he supposed to say? That its because they are nothing like Y/N?  That he was never as attracted to those girls as he is with her? Sure, he finds them cute and he enjoys their performance, but a pretty face is nothing new for someone like Jimin. What’s new is how this particular girl that is currently besides him is able to make his heart beats faster just by smiling at him.

“Oh my god,” Y/N exclaimed when Jimin took too long to answer, turning her body to face him with a very excited face. “You did date them didnt you? But you cant tell anybody because you are afraid your fans will not like it? Is that it? Oppa, you can tell me! Please tell me!” Y/N grabbed his hand to shake it in her excitement at the thoughts of Jimin actually dating another idol, but the only thing Jimin can focused on is the goosebump and chills where Y/N’s skin touched his.

God Jimin, you really need to control yourself.

Jimin immediately shake his head at her accusation. “No! I never dated any of them Y/N! And nor do I want to,” He denied whole heartedly. Jimin really hates talking about other girls with Y/N. Why should he talk about things he have no interest it when he rather talk about her and how perfect she is for him instead? Cant she just realized that its her who Jimin really wanted?

“But why not? I know you like Red Velvet. I have seen you said it on some shows,” Y/N insisted, cocking her head to the side, questioning him. Parts of Jimin felt uneasy that Y/N has knowledge of his admittance for admiring the Red Velvet girls but another part of him is happy that Y/N actually watches his show. It only makes him feel like he should work harder from now on, just to make her proud of him. “It cant be because none of them are interested in you oppa. I mean, look at you oppa, you are so good looking and extremely talented. If they dont have a crush on you then they are surely blind!”

Jimin felt himself start to smile at the statement. So Y/N thinks he is good looking and talented. That thought alone is enough to make him stayed up and dwell about her possible feelings for him even further tonight. He cant help but feel a swell of pride and happiness in his chest.

“Those girls are not my type,” Jimin answered, short and direct, hoping it will make Y/N srop talking about this issue further. But what he really wanted to say is;  you are. You are my type Y/N. You are what my heart truly desires.

“Not your type? Beautiful and talented is not your type?” Y/N raised an eyebrow. “What is your type then oppa? Ugly and talentless?” She chuckles. “If that’s your type, then you should just date me!” Y/N laughs harder at her own joke, finding it particularly funny that her best friend’s brother, an extremely good looking idol would date her.But Jimin doesnt see it as a joke at all. He felt angry that Y/N called herself ugly and talentless, but he also feel his heart race faster at the thought of him dating Y/N. He starts to imagine what it would be like if he can hold her hand and kiss her whenever he wants to. Where he can spend all night listening to her talk and laugh. Where can tell everyone that she belongs to him and proudly show her off to the world. Jimin would give anything to be that someone for her.

“Y/N-”

“Oh hey hyung, when did you arrived?” Jimin was cut off and the two of them turned around to see Jihyun who is finally finished with his bath, only clad in a towel which is wrapped to cover the lower half of his body, droplets of water trickled down from his hair which is still wet from his recent shower to his tone chest and defined abs that is proudly showcased to their eyes. Jimin glanced at Y/N who is still by his side and watches how she is clearly staring at his little brother with her mouth gaping open, eyes wide and trying to control her breathing, admiring his brother’s well muscled body. Jimin sighed, jealousy and frustration starts to consumed his body as he tries hard not to cupped her face and turned her to look at him instead.

At this rate, will he ever be able to win Y/N’s love from his own brother?

/////

“Hey, happy birthday Y/N,” Jimin peeks his head through the crack of the opened sliding door that separates the currently full apartment with the breezy corridor. “I have been looking everywhere for you. Why are you hiding out here when its your own birthday?” He smile and took a seat besides her.

“Thanks for coming oppa. I didnt think you would come to a party that is filled with teenagers that can recognized you in a heartbeat,”

“Well, they already know I’m Jihyun’s brother anyway. That’s hardly a secret,” Jimin chuckles. “And I have this, idols’ secret weapon,” he took out a crumpled black face mask and grinned, making Y/N laugh. God, Jimin can listen to that laugh all day long.

“Wow, didnt know that’s the only thing you need to successfully hide yourself,”

“Think of it as our main disguise. Superman has his glasses, Batman took has his mask. And we idols cover our faces with this,” he laughs again. “And everybody is mostly drunk anyway, or at least half way there. I dont think they would remember me,”

“Oh? How about you then oppa? Why arent you drunk yet? This is a party you know,” Y/N smile.

“I dont drink at parties. I always try my best to keep sober. An… incident occured while me and my members went out drinking one day, so we decide to keep it to only a two drink maximum since then” Jimin explained as he cringed at the memory of that night.

“Okay, now this is something I would like to know in detail!”

“Not today Y/N. Its a Bangtan most confidential secret,” Jimin chuckled. “But really, what are you doing out here alone? You should be inside with your friends,”

Y/N sighed as she downed the rest of her drink and pour herself another shot from the bottle she had kept beside her chair. “I… dont feel like it,”

“Want to tell me about it?” Jimin asks softly as he detects the sadness in her voice. Y/N finally shrugged and answer after contemplating for a while.

“Oppa probably already know about it anyway. So whats the harm in telling you right?” Y/N closes her eyes and let the night breeze hit her face before she opens them again. “Jihyun introduces me to his girlfriend today. And then I saw them making out in the corner,”

“Y/N…”

“Its okay oppa,” Y/N try to laugh but it sounds so forced to Jimin. “I mean, we were never together anyway. And Jihyun has never lead me on although he knows perfectly well about my feelings. He is respectful and considerate that way. This is bound to happen anyway. He is the best bestfriend anyone could have ever asks for and he deserves to be happy,” Y/N dropped her gaze to the ground. “It just makes me thinks, that’s all. If my own best friend who knows me more than 20 years cant fall in love with me, then I probably dont have anything to offer that could attract anyone. I guess Im just not worthy to be loved,” she chuckles.

“Dont you dare say that,” Jimin growled. “Just because Jihyun cant see what perfection is, doesnt mean everybody else is the same Y/N,” Jimin pulled her in for a tight hug. “Somebody loves you. You just have to find him in the right places,” like right now, I’m here, right in front of you.  Jimin sighed. If only he can confessed to her right now, but looking at the situation, this is definitely not the right time. “So stop crying. A pretty girl like you should never cry over a boy. Especially over my stupid little brother,” Jimin teased as he passed her his handkerchief to wiped up all her tears.

God, Jimin hate to see her cry. He hate it when she was younger and he hate seeing it even more now. Only back then he used to think its because he cares for her like a sister, but now he knows better.

Y/N and Jimin spend the remaining of the party at the balcony, and Y/N felt like she had never laughed this much throughout her whole life. Not even with Jihyun, her best friend for years. It could probably just be because she’s drunk, as she keeps on refilling her empty glass, or it could be that Jimin is really funny and interesting as hell, and she just finally realizing the fact that they might have a lot in common, and she loves spending time with him.

But as morning arrived and Y/N wakes up naked and alone on her bed, with only a used condom tied up in her wastebasket and a man’s handkerchief by her nightstand, memory swipe clean from remembering anything that had happened the night before, Y/N’s only salvation is the tiny bit of blurry memory that she had met and spend time with a wonderful man last night, a man for the life of her she cant remember who, and it becomes her life mission to found out who it is.

“Maybe you got too drunk and just imagined it Y/N,” Jihyun said as he stuffed his face with a spoonful of cereal as both if them are having their usual breakfast in the kitchen. Y/N looked at her best friend in irritation. Its been a couple of days since the party and she’s still trying to backtrack her steps and remember who the mystery man is.

“I’m not dreaming Jihyun! It really happened! I know I had the most wonderful conversation and time with the mystery man, although I cant really remember the sex part though,” she grumbles, frustrated that she got to drunk and forget most of the night. “Then he must not be that great in bed if you can remember the appertizer but not the main course ,” Jihyun laughs at his own joke as Y/N hit him hard in the arm making him winced in pain, not amused with her best friend.

“What makes you think the sex is the main course? What if I actually prefer and enjoy talking to someone rather than having sex with them?” She glared at him. “And I know he’s real Jihyun. He left this remember?” Y/N placed the handkerchief on the kitchen counter, the only clue she have on her mystery man as she sighed. She is positive it belongs to hin, whoever he is.

Who are you? And why are you hiding your identity from me?

/////

It almost been a week since Jimin went to visit Jihyun’s apartment after the party. He misses Y/N so much, but after what he did that night, he just cant bare to looked Y/N in the eyes.  How can he? The guilt he felt is too much. He slept with her. But what makes him more guilty is not the fact that he did, but the fact that he enjoys it. That it has become the most magical night of his life and Y/N dont even remember in opposed to Jimin who is stark sober and remember every detail that happened that night.

How can he feel this way towards his litlle brother’s best friend? How can he take advantage of her like that?

He actually slept with Y/N.

How could he go back and pretend like nothing happen? How can he contained his feelings in front of her now that he knows how good she feels like in his arms? How perfect she is with him? He cant possibly tell her about what happened that night. He cant possibly tell her about his feelings either. She would hate him if she found out, and he cant have that. He rather swallowed all his pain and have her close than have her hating him.

So he did what all man who are in love and afraid would do. He avoided her.

/////

“Hey Jihyun. Mom told me she send me a package through you. Im here to pick it up,” Jimin yelled out for his brother as he entered the apartment. He specifically chose this time to come over because he knows Y/N’s class schedule like the back of his hand. He wouldnt want to risk running into her. No, he cant have that

“Oh yeah, its on the kitchen counter,” Jihyun yelled back as he makes his way to his brother from his room. Jimin went to picked up the heavy package and as he is about to walk away he saw his handkerchief that Y/N has laid out on the counter a days before.

Oh here it is. Didnt remember that I left it here. Jimin shrugged, assuming he must have left it during one of his visits, not remembering that he use it at the party at all and picked it up.

“Hyung… is that… is that yours?” Jihyun who walked into the kitchen just in time to see Jimin pocketed the handkerchief asks with eyes widen in shocked.

“Yeah. Its mine. I must have left it here by accident. Anyway, I gotta go, I’m late for practice as it is. See you later dongsaeng,” Jimin gave a tiny wave goodbye and hurriedly exited the apartment before Jihyun can say anything.

Jihyun stood frozen in his place, mouth wide open at the realization of what he just saw.

Y/N and his hyung?

Y/N, his childhood best friend and Park Jimin, his beloved hyung?

“Oh My God,” was all that could come out from his mouth.

/////

“Hyung, I need to talk to you,” Jihyun urgently said as he stepped inside his brother’s dorm.

“Woah, calm down. What happened?”

“Tell me the truth now hyung. I know you dont drink at parties, so you must be extremely sober and remember everything. So tell me, did you or did you not sleep with Y/N the night of her birthday?”

Jihyun’s question took Jimin by surprised. Why is his brother suddenly asking him such an intimate question? And such a bold question too? Shit, did Y/N send him here? Did Y/N  finally remembers and found out?  She cant be. She was really drunk that night. Did someone saw him leaving Y/N’s room?

“Hyung! Answer me!” Jihyun is growing impatient at his brother’s silence. Jimin hesitates but answered anyway.

“Yeah.. yeah.. I did,” he hung his head low in embarassement.

“What the fuck hyung?!”

“Jihyun, language! I’m still your hyung!” Jimin was surprised. His brother has never spoken out of line to him before.

“I dont that matters right now! She’s my best friend hyung! You cant just play with her like you do to other girls!” Jihyun is furious. He knows how good looking his brother is and how girls flocked around him. He also knows how Jimin never wanted a serious relationship. He is an idol anyway, he doesnt have time for that. But to play around with Y/N? Especially when the said girl kept on saying she felt some chemistry between her and the mystery guy from that night? Its just unacceptable!

Jimin, on the other hand is furious about his brother’s accusation. How dare he accused and assumed that he’s playing Y/N? Even if he isnt madly in love with her right now, he would never do that to her. He cares about her enough to not ever treat her like one of his common girls. And now that he’s fallen deep for her… well, it just makes him angry.

“How dare you say I’m just playing here!” Jimin growled at his brother who doesnt seem affected by his anger.

“You knew you slept with her but you didnt say anything? You left her to wake up alone and avoided her all week hyung! She spent all week trying to find who’s the mystery man she claimed to have such a wonderful time with that night and you just kept quiet like an idiot!” It irritates Jimin to hear his brother calling him names but he got a much bigger issue in hand. He will handle Jihyun’s insolance later.

“Wait, she remembers?”

“Well, she dont really remember the… sleeping together part,” Jihyun awkwardly said as he scratched his arm. He really didnt want to talk about his brother sex life, especially one involving his best friend. “And also the who part. But she believes the man she spent the night with is her perfect match. She claimed to have such a wonderful time with him,”

“Really?” Jimin cant help but give out a huge smile, turning his eyes into slits as Jihyun gave him an annoyed looked.

“Well, that was until she remembered it was you who she spend the time with earlier today when I told her you took the hanky, which you left the night you spend it with her, I might add. She had a sudden shocked and started to scream ‘oh my god its Jimin oppa’ before she starts to cry and ran out of the apartment,”

“What?! Where is she now?”

“I dont know, that is why I came here to find you,”

“And you didnt think to start with that? You are really an idiot Jihyun!” Jimin immediately grabbed his jacket and exited the door, trying to locate Y/N as fast as he could, leaving his idiotic brother who is still stunned by his reaction standing in the dorm.

Please be safe. And please dont hate me Y/N.

/////

Y/N swing her legs on the bench she was seating at as the cold night wind blows on her face. She has no more tears left to cry and her mind is blank. After Jihyun told him that Jimin took the hanky and claimed that it was his, a barrage of memories came crashing down on her. She remembers the talk they had at the balcony. How she laughs and laughs, how Jimin’s laughs sounds a like a beautiful tune to her ears, flashing her his eye smile and how she felt her heart beats a little faster whenever she caught Jimin just staying silent and staring at her. That moment was the first time in her life that she finally met someone who was able to make her forget about Jihyun. She remembers how she leads him into the bedroom and how they start to kiss each other, Jimin’s lips felt soft on hers before the kiss turned heated and passionate, filled with lust and want. She remembered how Jimin stared into her eyes as they both lay panting afterwards, and how he kiss her forehead and whispered multiple times that he loves her.

I love you Y/N. I really really love you. I love you so much.

Y/N close her eyes as the sound of Jimin whispering promises of love after they make love keeps on repeating in her head. Tears starts to trickled down her face again. She knows that Jimin remembers everything. He admit it himself that he dont get drunk anymore. But if he really meant what he said, that he really loves her, then why did he avoided her? Why didnt he tell her? Why didnt he say anything? Y/N felt like she shared a connection with the man from that night, but if the man is really Jimin, then she must have only imagining it. Jimin doesnt love her. He cant possibly. Especially now that she knows he is avoiding her after that night.

“Y/N,”

Y/N turned her head to see Jimin huffing out puffs of cold smoke as he walks towards her, looking extremely tired and bewildered, as if he had ran all the way here from god knows where.

“I found you. I actually found you! Thank god,” he sat down besides her, carressing her cold cheeks.

Y/N quickly wiped her eyes and try to smile, acting as if nothing happened, as if she didnt know anything. “Hi oppa. What are you doing here? Why are you looking for me?”

Jimin grabbed both her shoulders and turn her to face him. “Dont act like nothing happened Y/N. I know you know. Jihyun told me everything,”

Y/N released herself from Jimin’s gripped and scooted away from him. Fucking hell Jihyun, do you really have to ran off and tell it to your brother? Y/N make a mental note to beat Jihyun up when she gets home.

“I… uh… ah,”

“I’m sorry Y/N. I’m really really sorry,” Jimin pulled her by the wrist. Y/N shakes her head when she heard him apologizes.

“No oppa. I’m the one who should be sorry. I was the one who was drunk and probably threw myself at you. You have nothing to be sorry for. You-”

“What are you talking about?” Jimin growled. “I have plenty to be sorry for. I’m sorry for leaving you alone the next morning. I’m sorry for pretending like nothing happened. I’m sorry for acting like I didn’t know anything. I’m sorry for making you scared and confused. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you earlier,” Jimin now held both of her hands in his. “I’m sorry for making you feel like I took advantage of you Y/N. You deserved to be treated like a queen, not being left alone, confused and vulnerable after a night like that,” Jimin dropped his head in shame. He wished he could stay with her that night. To wake up with her by his side. To see her smiling face when he opens his eyes, but Jimin was afraid. Afraid that Y/N will only hate him if she knew about his feelings for her.

“Its okay oppa. I understand why you did it. Someone like you slept with someone like me, of course you dont want anyone to know about it,” Y/N gave a tiny smile, trying to hide her sadness.

“What the hell does that mean?” Jimin’s eyes flashed in anger. “Dont you ever dare think of yourself that way ever again! You… you are perfect to me Y/N,” Jimin’s voice turned soft. Y/N shakes her head again, diagreeing with him.

“Lets… lets just forget this whole thing ever happened and go back to like it was before,” Y/N suggested, emotionally tired to deal with anything anymore.

“I cant do that Y/N,” Jimin said in a serious tone, making Y/N’s eyes turned wide. “I cant go back to acting like you are just my little brother’s best friend…” he paused for a moment before continuing. “When… when I want to be so much more to you. I cant go back to before, acting like there is nothing between us when I can no longer contained my feelings for you,” Y/N blinked at his confession. “I dont know if you remember Y/N, but I already told you that night and I will tell it to you again. I love you Y/N. I am in love with you. Im in love with everything you are, and with everything I am, I promise I will try to make you happy, if you would have me,” Jimin smile.

“Im sorry for hurting you. For making you feel unworthy and unloved. That was never my intention. I was afraid if I stayed with you that night or told you what happened, you will be disgusted with me. And I cant bare to have you hate me Y/N,” Jimin closes his eyes before opening them again. “Jihyun told me that you felt a connection with that man you spend the night with Y/N. And I want you to know that I felt it too. No one was ever able to make me feel things like you do,”

Y/N finally flashed the biggest smile at his words. “I could never be disgusted or angry with you oppa…”

Jimin smile back and slowly starts to leaned in closer to her, inhaling her familiar scent that he missed. “I have never felt happier than I did during that night oppa. I cant even remember who is it but I can still remember the butterflies in my stomach, the way my heart races as I spend the night laughing away. I knew I fell in love that night. I was confused but deep down, I’m glad it was you oppa,”

Jimin nuzzled his nose with hers as he scooted in closer, pulling her in by the waist. He looks up into her eyes.

“So I take it you dont have a crush on Jihyun anymore?”

“I dont think so. But I might have to checked. Maybe I need to see his face one more time,” she teased.

“Y/N…” Jimin growled in warning, making her laugh. Jimin knows she’s joking, but he still felt a sense of jealousy at the thought of his dream girl lusting over his own brother.

“This is so cliche isnt it? Falling inlove with you best friend’s older brother?”

Jimin placed his hand behind her neck and whispered against her lips, “Yeah, its nothing new to fall in love with your brother’s best friend, but what you are making me feel everyday when I’m with you is definitely something new to me Y/N,” Jimin whispered softly in her ear as he closes his eyes, leans in closer and finally do what he had wanting to do for so long and touched his lips with hers, sealing their love for each other for eternity.