#isa loops au

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

Natural Satellite

An In Stars and Time AU. In chapter one, Siffrin makes a wish. Isabeau gets caught in the crossfire.

You are sitting in a bathroom, hugging a roll of toilet paper to your chest. You think you maybe love this toilet paper. It feels… important? And also: soft. Squishy. Friendly, even. It won’t judge you or hate you or pity you. It can’t ask impossible questions. It never flinches away when you step too close. Maybe the toilet paper can be your new family!!! You bite back a laugh. Sink your teeth into the inside of your cheek till you taste copper on your tongue. Flecks of black on white tile. But that’s okay. The toilet paper isn’t going to ask if you’re okay. Because it’s toilet paper. It occurs to you that you’re probably losing your mind.

Spoilers through at least act four. CW for canon-typical violence, temporary character death, self-harm, & fairly graphic suicide (specifically involving the dagger). You can follow the series on AO3.

You are sitting in a bathroom, hugging a roll of toilet paper to your chest.

You think you maybe love this toilet paper. It feels… important? And also: soft. Squishy. Friendly, even. It won’t judge you or hate you or pity you. It can’t ask impossible questions. It never flinches away when you step too close. Maybe the toilet paper can be your new family!!!

You bite back a laugh. Sink your teeth into the inside of your cheek till you taste copper on your tongue. Flecks of black on white tile. But that’s okay. The toilet paper isn’t going to ask if you’re okay. Because it’s toilet paper.

It occurs to you that you’re probably losing your mind.

Which makes sense!!! Doesn’t it!!! You should’ve lost your mind yesterday!!! Months and months of yesterdays ago. It’s not like it would be some great loss. Your mind isn’t very useful here, is it? Not now that all the rules have changed. Now that there’s no one left who’s real, and the only one you can trust, really trust, with your whole stupid heart, is this roll of toilet paper. And you can’t even take it with you, because it’s toilet paper.

If you tried to take it with you, your actors would definitely notice. They’re not polite, like the toilet paper. No one ever taught them not to ask intrusive questions. It would be all, What’s with the toilet paper, Siffrin? Are you going to pee your pants, Siffrin? And why are you hugging it like that? Is it, perhaps, because you’re a blinding pathetic excuse for a person?

It’s time to leave the bathroom. If you stay any longer, your actors will get antsy. Still, you can’t bear to leave the toilet paper behind. (You are tired of leaving things behind.)

…Your inventory isn’t totally wiped when you loop, though, is it? You always keep the coin. And those garden shears. And Mira got to keep that pretty ribbon. Maybe you could keep the toilet paper, too.

You peel off a square of cottony softness and whisper into it, as loud as you dare. “Come with me. Please, please, please loop back with me. Loop back with me. Loop back with me. I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be alone.”

Then you fold it over and…

Hm. You’re not sure how to do this part. It’s not like wishing on a tree or a star. How do you tell the wish where to go?

Well. It is toilet paper. You shrug and flush it down the toilet.

* * *

Siffrin’s acting weird.

Siffrin’s been acting weird for 48 hours, at least. Distant, detached, dissociated. They speak up every now and again, but it feels sort of… perfunctory? Like talking to their friends is just another job.

—Not that Isabeau can blame him!! They’re all charging into a fight for their lives; for the lives of this whole country. It would be weird if Sif wasn’t feeling weird.

But even so… Even given everything ahead of them, Siffrin feels especially weird. More so than Mira, who’s taken the fate of all Vaugarde upon her tiny shoulders. More than Odile, who continues to confront each new impossibility with the same flat, deadpan stare. And definitely more than Bonnie.

Maybe it’s that it’s the wrong kind of weird? Sif doesn’t seem daunted, or even particularly scared. They’re just… blank. Resigned. Like there’s nothing left to hope for.

Isabeau shakes himself off. It doesn’t matter. Everyone copes in their own ways. There’s no reason to judge. He’ll just… keep an eye on Sif, without thinking too hard about it. He wouldn’t want to stress them out.

This strategy works well enough until they reach the King. At which point Siffrin asks two inscrutable questions and then drives his own dagger through his throat.

“Sif????” Isa gasps, reeling. “You— Mira!!!”

Mira turns. When she sees Sif, she stumbles back, both hands flitting up for a healing spell. “Oh, Change. Oh, Change, you—you can’t!!!”

“Hhhh,” Sif breathes. Every exhale is a little puff of blood.

No, no, no, they can’t— Isa has to, he has to put pressure on the wound but he can barely find it through the blood and it’s Siffrin’s throat, their whole neck slit crosswise like bleeding a pig to be butchered. Isa’s hands are slick with slippery heat and he can, he can feel their windpipe, the rubbery rigidity of cartilage and behind it a shock of white—Sif’s vertebrae, he thinks numbly, their actual spine, they cut all the way to the bone. He needs to shout, can hear Bonnie screaming already but he can only manage the barest whisper. “S-Sif…”

“Hahhhha…ha!!” Sif wheezes. When they hang their head, a mucusy string of bloody phlegm slips from the crease of their mouth.

“Sif,” Isabeau chokes out, wrist-deep in viscera. “P-Please, you— I don’t want you to…” But what can he tell them that they don’t already know? “Just—please!!!”

Siffrin’s pupil dilates and contracts. Their huge bright eye, focused and unfocused. Their mouth curves up into a smile. “H-Haha!! Ahh… Isa. Isa. None of this matters.”

“I— What? What do you…”

“None! Of this!! Matters!!” Blood wells up from their throat, slopping down the fabric of their cloak. “So just. Hhhhhhh. Just… let me help you.”

I don’t WANT help, Isabeau wants to say. I don’t want any help that asks you to DIE! There’s no point saving the country if I can’t save you!!!

But it’s too late for that. Mira’s magic can’t heal something like this.

Siffrin is dying.

“Please,” Isa whispers instead. “Please, please, I just—I don’t want—I just n-need you to stay, Sif, please.”

Siffrin grins with blood seeping through the cracks in their teeth. “S-Sorry, Isa. I’ll s-s-see you yesterday, hhhhha!!”

“No,” Isa pleads, “no, you can’t, I—”

* * *

—And he wakes up.

* * *

Woah. Woah!! Oh-kay!!! What the CRAB was that????

It doesn’t make sense. It couldn’t have been real, because Isabeau is just… standing in the grass. Not blood-drenched, not sobbing, not holding Siffrin’s windpipe together with his hands. But it just— It felt so real!!!!

Okay. Oh-kay, okay, okay, let’s just— Let’s just calm down for now!!! Okay?? Whatever it was that Isa thought he saw, it obviously didn’t happen. Because if it did, Sif would be—

(—calm down, calm down, it wasn’t real, IT WASN’T REAL—)

Isabeau just has to see them, is all. He knows it’s stupid, but he has to see Sif moving, smirking, breathing. He has to see that they’re okay.

* * *

When he whips around the corner, he nearly bowls over Mirabelle.

“O-Oh!!!” she squeaks. “Are you—”

“Sif!!!!” he bellows, before he remembers himself. “Um!!! Sorry!!! Where’s— Have you seen Sif???”

Mira blinks. “I, ah… I was just on my way to wake them? They’re taking a nap in the meadow, south of—”

“I’LL TAKE CARE OF IT!!!!” Isabeau bellows, and bolts.

* * *

He finds Siffrin stretched out in the field, patting vaguely at their pockets with a grim, lightless expression that Isa’s never seen on them before. Not even when they were thrusting that dagger through their—

“Sif!!!!”

Sif jolts to their feet. When they meet his gaze, they look weirdly shocked. “Wh— Isa? What are you doing here?”

“I was just—!!!!” He has to hold his own hands to stop them shaking. What he needs more than anything is to reach for them. To feel the thrum of their pulse under his palms, warm and solid and alive. But he knows how Sif feels about touch. “I just… had a… bad dream?”

It didn’t feel like a dream, though. It felt so real.

Siffrin frowns at him. “Um. Well. I have to go… do something. Now. But are you—um. Can I… help you?”

“H-Haha!!” Isa sputters. “I—Yeah! Or, I mean, no! Don’t worry about it! I’m totally fine!”

“Really?”

“Yeah!! Yeah!! All good!! Totally super normal!!”

Sif shrugs. They move to sidestep past him, but stop halfway. “…What was your dream about?”

“Oh! Um. I… wouldn’t worry about it, haha! I’m probably just nervous for tomorrow.”

“But what happened.”

“It doesn’t really matter…”

“Isa.”

Wow. Has he ever heard Sif sound that forceful? “Uhh. Um. Well. The fight with the King, I guess.” He rubs the back of his neck with one hand and grins, sheepish. “Makes sense, huh?”

“But what happened.”

Ah. Okay. No weaseling out of this one. “It was just… um. You… got hurt.” He shudders, remembering. Blood on his hands. Fingers brushing bone— “Uh. P-Pretty bad.”

“...Huh.”

“D-Don’t worry!" Isa says hastily. "I know you wouldn’t— Or, I mean, it’s not like I’m doubting you or anything!! I know how good you are in a fight!! Way better than me, honestly!! It was just a stupid dream. Just my dumb brain trying to mess with me.” He raps on the side of his skull. “Bad brain. Cut that out. Am I right?”

Sif’s eye narrows.

Isabeau flushes. “Aw, I dunno, Sif. I guess I’d just… I’d kinda lose my mind if something happened to you, and tomorrow we’re… well. You know.” He shakes his head vigorously, trying to shake off the traces of nightmare still clinging to his skin. “Don’t worry about it. It’s stupid.”

“I had a dream, too.”

Isa’s eyes widen. “Y-You did?”

“I was fishing in a giant bowl of alphabet soup.”

“Huh? What? Really?”

Sif nods solemnly. “I guess I was trying to catch some z’s.”

“You— Sif!!!!!!”

When they smirk at him, he can feel the weight of the nightmare lift a little. Sif always knows how to cheer him up.

* * *

Isabeau waits until Siffrin’s out of sight before raking a hand through his hair. He’s sweating a little. Or… maybe more than a little. Sif doesn’t usually catch onto feelings-stuff, but even they seemed sort of suspicious, near the end. But what was Isa supposed to say? ‘I’m probably having nightmares about you because I’m totally stupid in love with you? I want to touch you so bad it feels like my heart’s gonna climb out my throat? Just being around you is the most fun I’ve ever had in my life, and the thought of losing that—losing you—makes me want to burn the whole stupid House to the ground?’

—Nnnnope! Haha, no thanks! Hard pass, actually! Isa acts pathetic enough around Sif as it is! He really doesn’t need to look even less cool.

…Not that that’s ever been his strong suit.

Ugh. It’s always been like this, with Sif. Or maybe Isa should say that he’s always been like this. Can you blame him? They’re just so cool!! They saunter around with their big floppy hat and their big swooshy cloak and that sly little smirk, like they’re listening to a joke that no one else can hear. Always watching and listening and taking everything in. And Isabeau does mean everything. If you say something that no one else hears, Sif will always, always notice. They’ll wink at you with that big bright eye and for a second it’s like you’re the only two people in the world. Sharing a secret, just between you.

Isa squeezes his eyes shut and covers his face with his hands. STOP. For Change’s sake. They’re not even here!! How are you still this embarrassing when they’re not even HERE??

Not that he’s much better when they are around. The first time he saw Sif, he practically forgot how to talk. The whole party was boxed in and worn down, bloodied and gasping and totally out of their league. M’dame Odile managed to slow the Sadness down a little, but every blow that it landed was nearly a knockout. Mira was too busy healing to get a single hit in. But it wasn’t enough. They were losing.

And then a blur of black and white hurtled out of the canopy and gouged a gash clear through the Sadness’s sobbing face. All Isa could do was stare, goggle-eyed and totally beyond dumbstruck, as the stranger looked over their shoulder and winked. “Mind if I cut in?”

* * *

“Stoooop,” Isa whispers into his hands. He can’t afford to waste time flailing around in a field like a total crabbing loser. Nightmares or no, he still has a country to save.

[meamiiikiii]

imagine if isa's confession kept getting interrupted in increasingly bizarre ways…. ASFASDASF

((this stems from a stream silly!! with my friends!! we are streaming now!! its the finale!! info rbed in a lil bit!! yeah thats it!!))

[lucabyte]

ISAT Pokemon thoughts. I just think they're neat.

Massive spoiler doodles below the cut

[meatcatt]

@skyistheground had an idea for an isa loop au and this is how I interpreted it

[remxedmoon]

“the eternal wanderer…? even death cannot release it from its plight… hm. did i create a second copy of this card?”

tribeless

1 power - 1 health - 7 bones?

unkillable - when a card bearing this sigil perishes, a copy of it is created in your hand.

corpse eater - if a creature that you own perishes by combat, a card bearing this sigil in your hand is automatically played in its place.

brittle - after attacking, a card bearing this sigil perishes.

hidden trait - cursebearer

this card cannot be sacrificed at the sigil stones event.

[twohats spoilers below the cut!]

“callous, aimless, manipulative. this pitiful beast hides behind a mask of its own face.”

tribeless

2 power - 1 health - no cost

repulsive - if a creature would attack a card bearing this sigil, it does not.

bifurcated strike - a card bearing this sigil will strike each opposing space to the left and right of the space across from it.

hidden trait - shapeshifter

while in your deck or hand, this card will disguise itself as the wanderer.

SURPRISE BONUS CARD!!! or well. not really a surprise if you’re from the discord. still!!!! bonus card!!! writeup below!!!!

this is an ijiraq reskin!!!! or well. they were supposed to be one. their out-of-battle behaviors are pretty different but they work mostly the same in battles

the repulsive sigil is there because the ijiraq has it! but it also counts towards loop’s. general attitude towards themself i think. at least they can’t get attacked (if they don’t attack something with sharp quills that is). in kaycee’s mod, this sigil only appears on the ijiraq and starvation (which can only be played by leshy). probably for the best!

i added bifurcated strike both to set them apart from the ijiraq and because scissors craft! stats and sigils wise, they’re a sidegrade to the ijiraq. the fun stuff comes with their hidden trait!

so! shapeshifter!! originally just called. ijiraq. but it works a little different so it gets a different name shshhh. but i’ll just explain how the regular ijiraq works since it’s a kaycee’s mod card and kinda obscure. basically, it diguises itself as other cards in your deck! while on the map, it’ll show the card’s alt version with a red glow, but in battle, it’ll look and behave exactly like the card it’s mimicking. it only reveals itself once placed on the field! so it’s always a surprise! loop works similarly, but they only mimic sif’s card. because twohats :3

like the ijiraq, loop will swap themself with sif for most card events! though there’s a good few that they’ll just refuse to do. too much to talk about there, maybe i’ll post the talking card dialogue for them at some point? idk

oh, speaking of which!! like sif, loop is a talking card! they’ll still talk, even while disguised, but they’d have slightly different lines and portraits methinks. which does make it a little easier to figure out who’s who but that’s a sacrifice (heh) i’m willing to make. plus it’s just fun.

vulpecula is the name of a fox constellation! for fun parallels with siffrin! the constellation itself doesn’t have any mythology behind it though. just a fox. the reason loop’s holding a goose in their mouth(…?) is because the constellation is sometimes depicted with one! please look at the goose i’m really proud of that goose.

this was. probably the hardest card to draw Period. my usual way of drawing loops spiky face would’ve felt out of place with the inscryption style so i had to improvise! and BOY it was a struggle!! especially since i didn’t have a sketch prepared like i did with the others. i think this turned out pretty nice though!

NO PATCH!!!! REJOICE!!! loop can’t be selected for sigil transfers (because ijiraq) so they don’t have any!!!! i mean, i could’ve hypothetically given a patch to the sif disguise but no. i don’t want to even try to recolor the patch. that would be a nightmare. maybe if i ever find a blank png version of the patch.

if i were to give them a patch sigil tho, i think i’d give them hoarder? which lets you draw any card from your deck after placing loop on the field. as like, a nod to how much QoL they add in isat.

also as a little aside, you can attempt to fuse them and the wanderer at the mycologists. they won’t let you but you can try. similarly, they’ll be counted as kin in the trial of kin! because again. twohats

THAT’S EVERYTHING 🎉🎉🎉 rare cards wise, at least. trust me there’s a ridiculous amount of extra stuff for this au. i’m making an entire campaign. god have mercy on me

no extra alt card art so uh. thank you for reading these!!! isatscryption is like. probably the most self indulgent thing ever for me. thank you so much to everyone who’s responded to these aauauuaa i reread the responses like. every day!!! so thank you!!!!!! 💥

[the-bitter-ocean]

(ACT 5 SPOILERS) Ageswap MDP Moments (RUH ROH)

[abowlofsourcream]

⏳💫Switch a Loop: The Game Plan!💫⏳

[eldritch-araneae]

So I have an fun (aka very angsty) AU for looping Isabeau that we brainstormed with friends!

Cw for all spoilers and ingame stuff, including suicide

It starts with ACT 5, when Siffrin runs off to fight the King alone. The party follow him, but they were too late. As Mirabelle was about to unfreeze Siffrin, suddenly Mal Du Pays spawned into the world, ultimately killing him.

After the fights, the party mourns the loss of their friend, Isa takes it the hardest as he was the last person seeing Sif alive and blames himself for not helping them when he clearly saw something was wrong. He shouldn't have let Siffrin go!

The party realises that Sif was probably stuck in a timeloops, given how much he knew about them and how he went through the entire house alone.

After the funeral, Isabeau gets obsessed with the idea to get his hands on timecraft, worrying the rest of the party. If Siffrin and the King could do it, so could he! So that how he finds out about wishcraft, from the Head Housemaiden. Though he doesn't know the ritual, he still tries his luck at the favor tree, and that how he meets Loop, who, after some persuasion, teaches Isa the right ritual.

Isabeau makes the wish - to save Siffrin's life no matter what.

He wakes up in the beginning of ACT 5, when Siffrin is pretty much done with anything. There is a lot of stuggle, bc not only Isa have to figure out how to save Sif who is balancing on very edge before spawning MDP and permadying after, but MDP isw getting stonger and more monstrous each time it happens.

Plus, both of them are looping, and whoever loops first keeps the memories of the current loop, while other forgets. Which means sometimes Isa would have to beat Siffrin just to keep the information and end his life. Which lead to more drama as Siffrin once saw this and the reaction raw and explosive as Isa doing this even more terrifying and viceral.

So they have to figure out new loops and how they work, and hopw to pass the information that was lost. Good thing that helpfull Loop remember everything~ Isa asking the party to help and they all together trying to figure this too!

So Isa wont have many loops, but those loop will be brutal.

I feel like the Bigfrin fight will happen earlier (and King will be probaly disintegrated in process), possibly Isa becoming big too! it all end with lots of tears and catharsis. But yeah, Isa won't have a good time. Imagine his battle portraits ~

[eurydice-pens]

odile loops sus scene because of course isabeau with his emotional intelligence would be in odile’s blind spot and notice and of course. the confrontation won’t go well and . Hhhh. Rotates au in mind

[basilpaste]

On Command!

(This fic contains depictions of panic attacks and also talks of death! please be safe.)

You can loop without dying. You can loop without touching a tear or dying. Why?

Better question: how?

You know you loop when you talk to the Head Housemaiden. You know you looped when Loop said something similar to her. Is it those words that trigger it?

Something is breaking. Something's failing, rotting. You sit in front of the statue of the Change God and think the words with force. Panic swells in your chest. You hate thinking about it! You thought you were free the first time you beat the King! That your friends would get to go and you'd be done with this whole thing. And then the Head Housemaiden started talking like that and it just!

You don't feel like looping. You just feel bad.

So if not that… what? What caused you to loop those times? Was it… emotions? You weren't stressed the first time you talked to the Head Housemaiden, though! But you still looped back anyway! You bite your lip — hard. Okay. Maybe you'll have time to think about this later. Because Sif just passed the statue and you have a schedule!

… You could ask Loop about it. You aren't sure Loop would appreciate that much. So. You won't! You'll figure it out on your own! It can't be that hard, can it?

-

You are in the House. In the secret library, thumbing uselessly through the same books you've already skimmed. There's nothing important here, not that you know of at least, but you still look vaguely at the pages. One of the books, shoved away and out of place, is on self help. A page catches your eye! Breathing exercises! Like Sif's! From all the time you've spent with him, now, you've found yourself doing them subconsciously. To keep yourself calm!

Hm.

You don't panic in front of your friends much, do you? Not genuinely, at least. You play up nervous embarrassment, lean into it when m'dame Odile teases you, but you don't ever actually panic. Not visibly, not in a way they can see.

What are you thinking? You'd already ruled out the strange loops being based on emotion because of the first time you talked to m'dame Head Housemaiden! Would it hurt to try, though? This loop is already a bust, after all. It'd be nice to not have to die.

… The tears have started to give you more nightmares than dreams.

It's not like it's hard to panic! In this situation you have a lot to panic about! You're pretty constantly stressed! You place the book back on the shelf and move on from the library, holding that thought in your mind. Panic… panic. You're trapped in a time loop. The end doesn't end it, the beginning never changes. You are the only one who remembers other than Loop. You have to watch your friends do the same things over and over and over again.

You keep moving on autopilot. You know this floor well enough to not make any dumb mistakes. Your head feels fuzzy, your chest feels tight! You're doing a good job at making yourself panic! If you never get out of this loop Mira will never realize how much she's grown. If you never get out of this loop Bonbon won't ever see their sister again. If you don't make it out m'dame will never really respect you and you'll never properly tell Sif how much they mean to you — not really. So you need to get out. But you're trapped. You can't escape.

There is static in your head, the back of your throat tastes sweet like sugar. You're trapped. Forever and ever in this world without change. There's no escape.

"… Isabeau?"

Mira. She's looking at you! Maybe you weren't being as subtle as you thought, huh?

You breathe deep. In and out. Staying calm under pressure is easy for you. You want to choke and scream and sob but you won't. You can't! You're the fighter! You're big and strong and reliable! What would happen if you weren't? If no one could trust you to be their rock!

"Sorry, Mira!" You rub the back of your neck, "I got lost in thought for a second there."

The static is gone. You're fine.

-

You stand in the room with the poem. You're not quite sure what made you come here! It's a dead end! Poetry isn't even something you're that big on! You like it, sure, especially love poems (which a Housemaiden in Jouvente once said were the lowest form of poetry. You exist to spite xem every day), but its not like you go out of your way to read any poems!

You're just… here.

That's all a lie.

You know why you came here. You have a theory. Not a strong theory, not a good one, but one you can test. The last time you tried to loop without a tear… you couldn't. You got close. You know for sure you got close but… you're missing something. You're at a dead end but no one else has realized it yet. If you coward out — you can use that as an excuse! Hah!

Panic. Okay. You're terrified of this! Of doing this! Because if it doesn't work the way you want it to you'll make everyone worry! And the idea of making people worry about you makes you want to curl up into a ball and scream! Because you're Isa! Emotional Isa, but never really scared! Only ever spooked!

You're stupid. It's what you convince others is true about yourself. You think… Mira knows it's not true. That's so scary it makes you kind of sick to think about, actually! You don't want anyone to see through you, to learn what a coward you are. Hiding everything about yourself.

Oh. Um. You're doing the breathing thing. Don't do that, Isabeau! It slows your heartrate down! Don't keep your cool! Don't don't don't! You have to do this — you at least have to try! You hold your breath. You know that doing that slows your heart but if you do it long enough when you breathe out it'll start racing! And you'll breathe quicker because you need to catch your breath.

People are talking but you aren't listening. You can't hear them, you're too focused on not breathing. On not being calm. Because oh Change are you not calm! You're so not calm!!

You can't hold your breath anymore.

Just like you knew it would, breathing out leaves you gasping for air. You can feel your pulse drumming in your ears and your breath coming out in short little bursts. It's not enough! It's not quick enough! They'll notice. You don't want them to notice you. You dig your nails into your palms, feeling them even through your gloves.

You've died. You've died a lot. It's really really scary to die and you don't think you've actually thought about it enough! The King killed you brutally twice before you figured out what you were supposed to do! You've gotten caught off guard by the strong sadnesses! Once you even managed to get crushed by the stupid crabbing rock!

There is a sickly sweet taste in your mouth and when you try to swallow you almost gag.

You're not strong! You're not strong, you're panicking like a little kid! Tears prick in the corners of your eyes and they sting.

If anyone notices they'll know that you're not what any of them expected. You're an overgrown child who can't protect anyone!

You can't protect anyone.

How could they ever trust you to protect them, to be strong enough to keep them safe, when you're acting like this!

They won't trust you.

You won't be able to protect them.

You can't breathe you can't breathe you can't—

There is a thread tugging at your chest.

The thread snaps.

[chromatasia]

on the axolotl creature thing siffrin and loop post i got these tags so now. pikmin siffrin and loop. because i love playing and drawing and having fun

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

Natural Satellite [ch 14]

The final installment of this In Stars and Time AU! You can start from the beginning here.

You are sitting in a bathroom, hugging a roll of toilet paper to your chest. You think you probably hate this toilet paper. It’s powdery and scratchy and squishes like rotting meat under your touch. A black hole in a white ring, glaring like a huge judgmental eye. Or like those symbols of the Change God. (You hate the Change God almost as much as you hate this toilet paper.) “This isn’t what I wanted,” you tell it. “It was supposed to be you.” The toilet paper doesn’t answer. Because it’s toilet paper. The weird thing is, you’ve never felt saner.

[CW for self-harm, suicidal ideation. Expect spoilers for the entire game, including the epilogue & secret ending]

You are sitting in a bathroom, hugging a roll of toilet paper to your chest.

You think you probably hate this toilet paper. It’s powdery and scratchy and squishes like rotting meat under your touch. A black hole in a white ring, glaring like a huge judgmental eye. Or like those symbols of the Change God.

(You hate the Change God almost as much as you hate this toilet paper.)

“This isn’t what I wanted,” you tell it. “It was supposed to be you.”

The toilet paper doesn’t answer. Because it’s toilet paper.

The weird thing is, you’ve never felt saner.

It’s like all the ugly things you said had been collecting in your veins, clouding your mind, eroding your resolve, and now you’ve finally bled the poison out of you. There’s a lucidity to it. A focus. Soon you’ll be in control again, and you’ll be able to keep everyone happy forever. Except for you, obviously. But you’ve never been very happy.

You’re not really sure how to go about this. You can’t remember how to make a Wish, much less reverse one. You can feel the knowledge floating at the fringes of your mind, just beyond your field of vision. But the moment you turn to look at it, it dissipates.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, you’ll just… count down from three and when you get to zero, you’ll say the first thing that comes to mind, passed straight from your subconscious to your mouth. Really ‘cutting’ out the middleman, ha ha!! No. Stop laughing. You sound insane. Focus on not focusing. Three, two, one, “You’re disgusting.”

…Wow. Thanks, subconscious. No, that’s really helpful. Almost as helpful as the toilet paper. But not quite as helpful, because at least the toilet paper can still be used as toilet paper.

The simplest solution is just to say the opposite of what you said before. Unfortunately, what you said before was, I don’t want to be alone. (It probably wouldn’t work. Odile said that you had to really want it. But even so. When it comes right down to it, you can’t bring yourself to tell an omnipotent wish-granting Universe that you want to be alone.

Besides!! You wouldn’t want to wish your whole cast out of existence on accident, haha!! After all, you’re doing this for them.)

You close your eyes and think.

You can’t remember exactly how you Wished, the last time you were here. But you can feel a tug toward something true. The details are lost to the fog of your past, but you’re pretty sure that Wish Craft loves blood. Blood and stars.

You didn’t bother to pick up the shard of glass this time around. But that doesn’t matter. The point of your dagger is sharp enough.

You prick the skin above your wrist, right where you’ve always noticed Loop’s brightest star, and watch with interest as black wells from the wound. The spreading void, the creeping dark. The hollow that swallows the stars. You twist your wrist and watch the emptiness drip down.

You remember… pictures. Constellations. Inverted silhouettes, bright against the dark. A Warrior, a Hero, an Orphan, a Sage. Or is that only in your head? How would you ever know? You giggle as you draw each dot. Poke, poke, poke. There’s pleasure in the sting of tearing meat. The way the skin puckers before it breaks.

The darkness washes down your arm like the tide coming in. The prowling void, swallowing the bright. Did you know a story like that once? You can’t remember.

“I used to know a joke about memory loss,” you tell the toilet paper. “But I forgot it.”

The toilet paper stares at you. No sense of humor. Isa would have laughed. No he wouldn’t, he hates you. You made him hate you. But not for much longer, hehe! You’re going to fix everything.

You laugh and laugh and fill the void with stars.

* * *

[Stardust,] you think, as loud as you can. [Stardust. Stardust. Siffrin!! Are you doing something stupid?]

No answer. Either they can’t hear you, or they have nothing more to say.

Your nails dig into your knees. Curse them. You hate them. They deserve whatever they have coming. He chose this. He’s worse than you ever were!!! They did this to themself!!!!

[Siffrin,] you try again, like a total blinding idiot without even a speck of self-respect. [Talk to me.]

But of course they don’t.

You could just let them blow themself up. You probably should. It’s what he deserves. The absolute audacity of self-destructing so violently after only a few hundred loops… honestly, it’s just sad. Were you ever this weak? You can’t imagine that you were.

So why can’t you let this go?

…Ugh. You’re actually going to have to do something about this, aren’t you?

When you squeeze your eyes shut, you’re not granted the reprieve of darkness. Even the backs of your eyelids are made of light.

You can finish out the series here. Or start from the beginning here.

[meamiiikiii]

context: coffee pod holders kinda look like trees

favor tree = f(l)avor tree for the modern-based, reverse entry au

this was funnier in my head

[loveologystudies]

thinking about isat flight rising au.......

[meatcatt]

"Stitching the tears closed before anyone can see them..." Inspired by @basilpaste's Isa loop PMV! (I'm so normal about ghost and pals)

[arolesbianism]

Time for more eternal gales isat au, this time featuring Sier as Isabeau, creating a sprite I can never use next to Aris’ because despite my best efforts it would make them look tall