#isabeau’s dissonance and isolation when faced with how well siffrin and loop Know and Understand one another
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chimerafeathers · 12 days ago
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i love that isafrin can be the most straightforwardly romancey, wholesome pairing on a surface level and then you go one (1) level deeper and run into siffrin’s seething guilt and convoluted feelings around touch and intimacy and the extent to which they want or don’t want those things in a specifically romantic way or if he was trying to seek connection and love in any way he could once he knew that Isabeau wanted those things from him in that context, and the combined power trip/self disgust at “manipulating” Isabeau’s desires without his knowledge to make themself feel wanted and in control. and then you keep going and there’s also Isabeau’s own warped self image (still, in spite of all his changes, fearing that he’s someone that would be shameful to know), his “emotionally stable pillar” role and self-taught therapy talk masking his deep fears of real confrontation (struggling loop after loop to confess, not wanting Odile to confront Siffrin about their weird behavior in the sus quest bathroom talk) and how Siffrin’s fear of vulnerability and Isabeau’s fear of Pushing Too Hard allow both of their issues to fester unspoken long after it’s clear that the problems exist.
all this to say. duality of isafrin. makes my heart full and warm and happy to see the sweet, fluffy, silly love and connection between them (mutually romantic or otherwise). and then also. the delicious, delicious complications. gnawing on them like a dog with a beloved bone
#isat#isat spoilers#mypost#isafrin#loopsafrin#sloopis#<- for what i’m about to say because#and then. AND THEN. you add loop in there. and their unique convoluted feelings towards each of them#the pendulum swing between visceral hatred & jealousy & bitterness and overwhelming love & understanding & tenderness.#the guilt of loving a ‘replacement’ and forgetting the original. trapped in wondering what could have been in another life#if they hadn’t given it up.#AND their feelings towards isafrin as a pairing#[leans forward] it’s about the Yearning. and also about how knowing the yearning is mutual doesn’t actually resolve anything#because do you Deserve it. do you deserve to be here and part of this after everything you’ve done and failed to do.#is Having it any less painful than Not having it? or is just a different kind of agony#<- questions all 3 of them get to ponder.#bc isabeau is not immune to the guilt of knowing some version of him failed these people he claims to love over and over and over#until it broke one entirely and was almost too late for the other#BUT ALSO. falling in love with the same person twice. not just because of the similarities but because of the differences#<- true for both isabeau and loop#how can they not? but also how can they bear to?#siffrin and loop in a guilt contest about who Deserves happiness and acceptance more without recognizing that it can be possible for both#(not just in a romantic context but in an Everything context)#isabeau’s dissonance and isolation when faced with how well siffrin and loop Know and Understand one another#both because of their shared origins and bc they’re the only ones who know what the timeloop was Actually like#while everyone else is left piecing together scattered clues from the most tight-lipped people in existence#did you think this was an otp post. [rips off disguise] it was an ot3 post all along!!! mwahahaha!!!#to be clear every time i talk about a ship it will never just mean ‘this relationship But Romantic’#i mean every facet of what makes them compelling. the love and complications are both there in every interpretation#and that’s what i’m chewing on
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