#it doesn't feel right. Shellycoat here is from new project. Ugh I dunno. I think I'm going o have to sell out just a little.
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Shellycoat
#heyo again posting in the ol tags#At a moral quandary but I guess I'll update yous on my life while I think of a way to sound it out#I am currently single. This is a big deal for me because I am coming to terms with my status as a serial monogamist#I think my ex has been not single longer than I have so I'm not feeling guilty about it. Just feels weird being single is all.#I'm doing the whole dating thing again. Have been on 2. First one I stayed at her spare room and freaking cried. Haven't spoken to her sinc#Second one I stayed in her spare room and she stayed with her roommate. Both times I didn't want things to go physical. Both over now.#The second one I was more optimistic for tho.Prominent thing was that she wanted me to date her and others. So I'm not exclusive with anyon#And I still maintain that. Doesn't feel good bc when I go on a date with one it feels like I'm cheating on the others.#But i have such low confidence that I don't want to turn anyone down or keep anyone waiting for me to ask them out. So idk what I'm doing#anyway. moral quandary. I just realized I can't actually talk about it. But I have to choose advancing my own career at the cost of my sou#it would be really nice to get some big £$£$ but I'd have to sort of betray new boss a little. Who has already given me permission to do so#it doesn't feel right. Shellycoat here is from new project. Ugh I dunno. I think I'm going o have to sell out just a little.#Bein single again shows me how behind I am for my age. Still can't drive still living with my best pal. Probably goin bald soon#then again I've been saying that for years now. Maybe I have a few years left of it. But yeah. I don't earn very much rn. When I get those#questionaires I'm often in the lowest bracket so i'm like “I am among the poorest of ppl then??” One lady stopped talking to me when I#told her I rented a flat. Which implies a lot of men my age own property already. But did they get them with their morals intact or did the#have to do a bit of backstabbing on the way? Anyway. I guess I'm happy that I'm not just whining about my love life.Maybe being single is o#still wanting to get out there. Maybe I'll make another post about that or whenever I'm not single lol
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