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lebrookestore · 3 years

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ignite it; l.tn

Pairing: Ten Lee x reader

Themes: angst, suggestive, sad-ish, the reader is not in the best state of mind, making out

Warnings: suggestive, unrequited love, self hate? kind of, tens an asshole, a toxic relationship, everyone is fucked amen

Wc: 2k

Playlist: here

Taglist: @danishmiilk @channoticedmeuwu @chicksung @1-800-seo @blueprint-han @jenosslut @cupidluvstarrz @kkakkdugi @yunntext @vera-liscious @leetaeyonglover @kunrengui @unknown5tar @kisshim @the-rooftop-fight

Authors note: ahem, this is a very self indulgent fic, it turned out to be longer and spicier than I had anticipated, its a bunch of making out and angst, enjoy! I got carried away h a h a. I even made a spotify playlist oh em gee

The incessant ticking of the clock was the only thing keeping you sane at the moment. You had ten minutes before he would arrive, ten minutes to pull yourself together, out of a hole you had dug yourself into. Sighing, you took your cup to your kitchen, placing it in the sink and running a hand through your hair.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Time was something that always roped you in. You never had enough, you had too much, you had none. The minutes ticked by as you walked to your bedroom, taking your sweater off.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Was it a sin to feel this way? You had never felt it before, it felt so wrong, yet so right. Every touch was like throwing alcohol on a flame. All it did was help it burn brighter.

Five minutes.

You didn’t want Ten to arrive, you wanted him to stay far away from you. You wanted to never see him again, because every moment you spent with him ate at you, it made your skin crawl. He gave you that momentary high, before you crashed back down to the ground, keeping you roped in.

You kept going back, for that mercurial high, those few hours where you could pretend you had it all, when you could pretend that he was yours, when all you were was a distraction. Stress relief, a girl with no face he gave his attention to.

Why did you keep going back?

A desperation coursed through you as you glanced at your phone, awaiting the text that told you he had arrived. You wanted him to come, you wanted him there with you right now, kissing you, making you forget everything. How could you have ever doubted him? It was Ten after all, the boy you loved. You trusted him with everything you were, you wanted him to be there-

No you didn’t. You wanted him to leave, but god, you wanted him to stay as well, stay with you and never leave.

It was a dangerous game.

He left so fast as well, you would never see him for more than a few hours on end, before he would disappear, only to show up late in the night, apologizing profusely, telling you it was his terrible memory. He told you he loved you, he promised he did.

He remembered everything else, everyone else, but you.

You remembered when you first met Ten, the pretty boy with an even prettier smile, in the pouring rain. He gave you his umbrella and walked away in the rain, his hair matting against his forehead as he smiled at you, assuring you it wasn’t a big deal.

You met him again later by chance, and he smiled at you again. You swore you had never been more entranced by such a simple gesture before. He was in your college, and you had bumped into him on campus. You promised to give his umbrella back the next day,

You didn’t see him the next day, in fact, you didn’t see him for a whole week, yet you carried the umbrella around. It was about more than just the umbrella, you wanted him to give you that smile again, to thank you and smile again.

You finally saw him and finally returned the umbrella, and left, suddenly feeling empty. You had no reason to run into him again, so you decided to forget about him, until you ran into him at a party. From there on, the two of you got closer, until one day he finally kissed you.

You didn’t see him for a week after that.

He came back, and never made any indication he remembered the kiss, in fact he made no mention of it. He would cut you off every time you tried to bring it up, offering to hang out some other time, or talking about something absurd and unrelated.

Finally, he spoke about it, telling you he liked you but didn’t want anything serious. You agreed, assuring him you liked him back. You said it was alright, it was fine if he wasn’t ready for a relationship, you were fine.

From then on, you tolerated it all, the late night calls, his random mood swings, the times he would seemingly disappear for days on end, before returning and kissing you, avoiding your questions and promising to make it up to you.

He loved you after all, he said, he loved you.

He did, right?

Tick. Tock.

You still didn’t know what the two of you were, and it had been months. Months of running around each other, of missing him and having him before losing him again. Maybe he liked playing games with you, maybe he liked the way you broke slowly for him, forgiving him every time.

You loved you after all, you loved him.

Your phones screen lit up, and it was embarrassing, just how fast you clicked on the notification, eyes glossing over as you read the message.

[00:45 am] Ten: I’m here

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you walked to the living room, past the hall and to your main door, right hand gripping the knob. Everything inside you screamed to leave it shut, to stop this game right now. You didn’t want to be a pawn anymore, you wanted to roll the dice, pull a six and win.

And leave.

But he was so close. Even that thought made you shiver, just outside your door was Ten, the boy your loved, the boy you wanted. Just thinking about it set you off, igniting a fire that lay dormant when he wasn’t around. A euphoric flame that you didn’t want extinguished.

You opened the door, holding your breath.

Tick. Tock.

He stood there, looking gorgeous as usual, hair messy, lips red, eyes staring into yours. He had his hands in his pockets, as he held the gaze, taking a step forward and licking his lips.

“Y/n”

All he had done was said your name, but fuck, even that made you want to drag him by his collar inside and kiss him. It sent shivers down your spine, and even if it was well past midnight, you felt alert and awake, buzzing with energy only he gave you. That short lived adrenaline shot.

“Ten”

You sounded breathless, and he hadn’t even done anything. He stepped inside your house and shut the door for you, looking back at your expectant eyes, before leaning forward and capturing your lips in an intoxicating kiss.

Your hands quickly found their way to his hair, his hands found your waist pulling you closer. Tugging slightly at the hair at the base, you tilted your head, staggering back as he followed.

The game had begun.

Fuck he was right there, you were in his arms as he kissed you. You felt that flame light again, burning brightly with fury. You hated the way you liked it, the way you wanted it to never stop. The sparks jumped brighter, but you weren’t so sure it was a good thing.

You hated the fact you left yourself go through the same thing again and again, the same excruciating pain, just for a few moments of happiness. When he came around, you forgot all the hatred you held, you only remembered that he was there.

Stop, please stop, you thought, before your mind did a full one-eighty flip, pulling him closer. Ten pulled away, pushing you against the wall before he kissed you again. Your fingers fisted the ends of shirt as his lips trailed down to your jaw, leaving butterfly kisses all along it. They travelled down to your neck, and you were lost.

Lost in between kisses and touches, trapped within your own mind wasted. It was so wrong, but it felt so, so right. You didn’t know how to stop, you were utterly lost to him. You felt yourself going dizzy, you couldn’t think straight.

This wasn’t how love was supposed to be right?

At first it was wonderful, you would get those first crush butterflies, you would feel giddy every time he was around, every time he kissed you, Now even the thought of Ten filled you with dread, a dread that would pool in the pit of your stomach, until it was replaced with wanting him.

It was a rush, pulling him closer, only to lose him again, why the fuck did you still want this?

He cupped your face, kissing you once again, before pulling away. His half lidded eyes stared back at you. You wanted to follow him, and kiss him again, but you waited. He pulled you along with him to your bedroom, he pulled you along like a puppet like he always did.

You were attached as he strung you along, and the ironic thing was the fact he had asked for a no strings attached relationship. Correction: he asked for no relationship at all.

Every kiss burnt, setting your skin alight. It was painful against your lips. It was messy, it hurt, and it was wrong. You shouldn’t enjoy it, you shouldn’t want him, but you did, fuck you wanted him all the time. You wanted him to be yours.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered against your lips. He sounded genuine, like he meant it, but it was all a lie. You knew how things would go, he would come along, he would apologize, he would promise he loved you, and he would leave, leaving you empty.

He would light you on fire, and leave you to burn out.

Of course you forgave him, you always forgave him, because you didn’t want him to leave. Because you hoped that one day he would come back for you, and he would stay. You still held onto that foolish hope that the initial feeling of happiness would come back to you.

That flushed feeling of butterflies, the giddiness, the giggling and late night talks. You wanted the Ten you had met before back, but you wanted the Ten you knew right now as well. You wanted it all.

You would end up with nothing, you knew.

You were greedy, but you didn’t care. You still wanted everything you could have, even if it was only for a moment. You let yourself get lost in him, lost to him like a moth drawn to a flame.

Make me forget, you thought, make me forget you. You couldn’t forget him even if you tried. You loved him, didn’t you?

“It’s okay”, you said in between kisses, as his lips trailed down your skin, searing hot.

Maybe you weren’t in love with him, you were in love with the idea of having him. You were in love with his smile, his eyes, the way he spoke. You were in love with the memories you had, and you held onto them.

You sometimes wondered what you would be like if you had never met him. If you hadn’t been out there in the rain that day, if you were still oblivious to Ten’s existence and everything about him, his pretty smile, his dark eyes. Everything that you loved about him.

Your love was tainted, but you believed it was beautiful in it’s own dark, twisted way. Maybe it was a fairytale told by wronged side, the side of the story that no one liked. You hated it too, but you couldn’t stop it. You lived for that tainted beauty.

All fairytales came to an end at one point, but this one never had one. It was a cycle, the same thing over and over. You were afraid of the end, knowing it wouldn’t be a happy one. It had no chance to be.

His tongue swiped your lower lip dangerously, asking for permission. you nodded weakly, wrapping your arms around his neck, basking in the familiarity of the situation. The flame inside you burst out, angry and wanting. You let yourself fade away in his arms, mind going blank.

He ignited you once again, only to leave by the end of it, a dying fire left behind.

After all, fires were meant to be extinguished.

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alyas-ladyblog · 5 years

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ANSBH P.10

First Previous Next

Ao3

Thank you for waiting on this section! Hope you enjoy :)

“Mari!”

Marinette tried to turn, but her body–where was she?

“La Mariquita!”

She watched as a little girl ran up to her, throwing herself around Marinette’s legs.

She watched as her body–of its own volition–moved, gloved hand going down to stroke the girl’s face.

The girl smiled, pressing her face into her hand.

She looked up at Marinette, and begin to speak

The language she spoke was not French, but Marinette understood it all the same.

I’m so glad you’re ok! She said. My mama and papa said they saw you running earlier and they were worried for you.

Marinette’s brow furrowed

But how would she respond?

How did you get out little one? The words formed on her lips before she had time to ponder further.

The girl smiled. I snuck out the back door when mama wasn’t looking to come and see if you were alright.

She pursed her lips. Iappreciate your concern little one, but your mama and papa must be worried sick. We should get you back home.

The little girl nodded, and Marinette hoisted up in her arms.

The girl giggled, and Marinette took off.

The smell of gunpowder filled the air, and she came to an abrupt stop.

Marinette moved towards a nearby window.

She stared at the reflection, hands moving to smooth her long black hair, to re-pin the rose behind her ear.

Her eyes flicked over her shoulder, where two men stood in the streets. She continued to pretend to preen, flicking a nonexistent piece of dirt from her frock.

Marinette–no, La Mariquita–wore a red and black off the shoulder dress, similar to the ones she’d seen flamenco dancers wearing. But instead of heels or flats, she wore knee high, black leather boots, and long, elegant gloves, the red standing out against her brown skin.

The little girl shifted in her arms. Why did we stop?

La Mariquita smiled down at her. Apologies little one. She deposited her on the ground behind a stack of crates. Stay here, and stay out of sight. I’ll be right back.

The little girl nodded. I will, I promise.

Mariquita took out her yoyo.

---

Alya lay on the ground, twisting the bracelet around her wrist. The sun had long since come up, and Marinette showed no signs of stirring.

She closed her eyes again, savoring the sun filtering in through the window.

Her stomach growled.

She opened an eye, and pulled up her phone.

Alya sat up. It was already one in the afternoon. She grabbed her glasses, and opened the trapdoor to the kitchen, doing her best to make sure it didn’t creak.

She headed downstairs, grabbing a plate from the cabinet, and opened the fridge.

---

Marinette perched on the roof.

She scanned her surroundings, savoring the way the cool night air nipped at the little bit of her skin that was exposed.

A chunk of hair fell into her eyes and she batted it back, shoving it back under her cowl with a huff.

Her eyes involuntarily narrowed, focusing on someone on the path below her.

There.

The man walked below her, hand on the butt of the katana sheathed at his side.

Marinette–no, Tentomushi–crouched, and padded across the roof, following the man.

Her soft tunic and trousers left her movements unencumbered, which she appreciated.

She dropped down behind him, marveling at how little sound her landing made.

The man walked into an alleyway.

She followed, moving her left hand back.

Marinette noted the wicked looking contraption on her hand. If she’d had control of her body, she would have flinched.

It was three blades, lined up with her knuckles, like one of the heroes from those comics Alya lent her as “beginner’s readings.”

She examined her reflection in the blades. Sharp black eyes peered back at her. The eyes flicked back up towards the man, and her hands pulled out the yoyo, pulling the line taut between her hands.

Her stomach sank.

This would not end well for him.

---

Alya took butter, a green bell pepper, an onion, a carton of eggs, and a container of rice out of the fridge.

She scooped the rice into a bowl, put a damp paper towel over it, and placed it in the microwave.

Alya opened up the cabinet next to the oven, and pulled out a pan.

She grabbed a knife and a spatula from a drawer, and a cutting board from the cabinet over the stove. After washing off the bell pepper, she cut it in half, and diced the half. She coarsely chopped the onion.

Setting that aside, she placed the pan on the stove.

Turning on the heat, she cut off a knob of butter from the stick, and put it in the pan to melt. Once the butter had melted, she put the onions in the pan.

When they started to become translucent, she took them back out, cracking two eggs into the pan.

She paused.

Another two eggs went into the pan.

She broke the yolks and swirled the eggs around, but the side crumpled, ruining the omelet.

Cursing, she broke up the eggs.

Guess we’re making a scramble,” she said.

She unceremoniously dumped her peppers and onions into the pan, and pushed them around to cook.

While they were cooking, she cleaned the cutting board and knife, and tidied up her workspace.

Once the eggs were almost fully solidified, she put a dash of salt on them.

The microwave chimed, and she pulled out the bowl of rice, depositing half of the scramble on top.

The other half went onto her plate.

She grabbed a tray, and placed the bowl, a pair of chopsticks, and a glass of orange juice on it.

Grabbing the tray, she carefully ascended the stairs to Marinette’s room.

She popped open the trapdoor, and placed the tray on Marinette’s desk, then went back downstairs to grab her plate.

When she returned, Marinette’s whole room smelled like peppers and rice, but Marinette still slept like a log.

Alya smiled to herself.

That girl could sleep through the apocalypse.

She grabbed the tray from Marinette’s desk, and climbed up onto her bed, sitting at the edge.

Balancing the tray on her lap, she took Marinette by the shoulder.

“Hey sleepyhead, it’s time to wake up.”

Marinette groaned, and turned over. “Five more minutes,” she mumbled.

“Well I guess I’ll have to eat this homemade breakfast all by myself,” Alya replied.

Marinette looked over her shoulder, bleary eyes struggling to focus on her friend.

“What’dyoumake?”

“Egg scramble and rice.”

Marinette sat up, rubbing her eyes.

Alya placed the tray in her lap.

“Oh this looks delicious Alya,” Marinette said.

She hesitated.

Alya sighed. “But,”

“Do you mind getting me something sweet to go with it? I feel pretty groggy–” Marinette said, an apologetic smile on her face “–and I think having something with sugar will help.”

Alya nodded. “I’ll go grab you a cookie.”

She went back downstairs and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie from the container on the counter.

Heading back up, she handed it to Marinette, who accepted with a quick “thank you.”

Alya smiled. “Eat up, I’m gonna go clean up the kitchen and I’ll be back.”

Marinette nodded in appreciation, mouth already full of egg.

---

Tikki peeked out, looking at Marinette with bleary eyes. “It was awfully nice of Alya to make you breakfast Marinette,” she said.

Marinette smiled, and handed her the cookie. Tikki took a massive bite.

“Sorry I didn’t feed you last night, I was just–”

“–tired.” Tikki swallowed, then looked at Marinette. “You had to manage the power of creation last night. I can deal with being tired for a few hours.”

Marinette fidgeted with her hands.

Tikki tilted her head. “What’s wrong Marinette?”

“I heard everything Alya said when she was akumatized, and,” she pressed her lips together. “She sounded so sad, and so regretful. But–” She cut herself off.

I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive her.

Tikki sighed. “Just because someone is remorseful doesn’t mean you have to forgive them Marinette.” She took another bite of the cookie, then continued.

“I was too hard on you last night. I did not understand why you lashed out. But when we got swapped, I could feel your hurt, and–” she shuddered “–it was so hard to control. I could barely focus. All I could think about was here was this girl who loves my chosen, but is the source of so much of her pain. And I felt betrayed.”

She paused. “Remorseful or not, whether or not you ever choose to forgive her is your decision.”

Marinette chewed on her lip.

Tikki tilted her head. “What is on your mind Marinette? I’d think this topic would have your full attention.”

Marinette sighed. “It would normally, but I had these really weird dre–”

“–Okay, now that that’s taken care of, let me eat my eggs because I am hungry,” Alya said, flinging open the trapdoor and climbing into the room.

Tikki dove back under the covers.

Marinette shoved rice in her mouth, giving a muffled hum of approval.

The two sat in silence while they ate their rice.

“So,” Alya, started. “About last night–”

“–I don’t blame you for what happened.”

Alya looked away.

Marinette sighed. “Look, I’m not going to apologize for what I said last night, I meant it. But…I could have worded it better.”

Alya nodded. “You were right though. What I was describing wasn’t healthy. Us needing one another to function isn’t healthy.”

The two sat in silence.

“Alya I…I’m not sure I’m ready to fully forgive you yet. I love you and I still want to be friends but–”

“–hurt takes time to heal. I get that girl. Take your time.”

Marinette nodded in appreciation.

Alya scratched her neck. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Oh no! I still want to hang out just–”

Sabine knocked on the trapdoor, and popped the door open. “Sorry to interrupt girls, but there’s someone at the door who wanted to check in on Marinette.”

Marinette furrowed her brows. “I’ll be right down.”

Sabine smiled, and closed the trapdoor.

Marinette walked behind her screen and began to get changed.

“I wonder who it is,” Alya said.

“No clue,” Marinette responded. “But if mom came to get me, it’s obviously someone we know. Hopefully it isn’t Adrien, I just–” Marinette sighed. “–I can’t deal with him right now.”

Alya shot up. “I got you girl, I’ll go check.”

She was down the stairs before Marinette could protest.

Marinette hummed, pulling on her jacket.

Alya burst back in.

“It’s Kagami.”

---

The Dupain-Cheng’s had let Kagami into the family room, inviting her to sit down, make herself at home.

She sat on the edge of one of the armchairs, eyeing the plate of cookies they’d set in front of her.

They smelled delicious.

Surely, mother wouldn’t know if she took one–

Marinette came scrambling down the stairs, and Kagami quickly withdrew her hand, standing up to greet her.

“Hello Marinette,” she said, a genuine smile on her face.

Kagami looked behind Marinette and her lip curled.

The reporter had come down with her.

Now, Kagami did not have anything against her per se, but the girl had a habit of shutting down Marinette, being all too nosy about everyone’s personal life, and enabling Lila.

So maybe she did have something against her.

“Hi Kagami! What brings you here?” Marinette’s eyes widened. “Not that I mind you being here, I just am curious if there was anything in particular that brought you over here on this specific day since I know you have fencing practice later and,” Marinette paused. “I’m rambling.”

Kagami smiled again. Another genuine smile! And this one got a smile in return from Marinette!

“It is not a problem. I stopped by to check in on you. I heard about what happened last night–” she willed herself to not look over at Alya. “–and I wanted to check and see how you were holding up. I sent you a text message, but I did not get a response, so I thought I would come over and check in.”

“Oh!” Marinette grabbed her phone from her pocket.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see your message,” she lamented.

“That is quite alright,” Kagami said (though she would admit she was a bit disappointed. She had crafted the perfect emoji chain after all)

Marinette smiled. “I really appreciate you coming over to check on me Kagami. Would you like to come upstairs and hang out with Alya and I?”Kagami looked back and forth between the two girls.

Alya’s face made it clear she was not keen on the idea.

Kagami smiled at Marinette. “I would love to.”

#ansbh #Kagami Tsurugi #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #tentomushi #la mariquita #miraculous ladybug #My writing

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