#it is midnight right now so if this doesn’t make sense slash has some mistakes. tell me and also forgive me fhdhdh

[janethekillsyou]

grabs you grabs you i need every last thought youve ever had on jeff the killer. llease i need the rant

I AM HAPPY TO PROVIDE THE RANT

this is going under a read more. i did not realize i wrote enough to go under a read more. tldr boy that jeff sure can the kill you

okay so. i will be candid in saying my jeffery is an *asshole* like. not a lot of redeeming qualities. most of the time i write creepypasta stuff im writing from jane / someone close to jane’s perspective (cause. she’s my favorite. i am biased as hell i do not hide this fact) so like. not a lot of chances to see him in a positive light, yknow? that disclaimer aside.

A lot of his backstory is. pretty in line with how Jeff Woods’s story normally goes. Jeff is around 13-14, gets bullied a lot, Liu takes the fall when Jeff beats up one of his bullies (a reoccurring trait is that. this kid is strong. i haven’t decided if that’s just How He Is or if the Slenderman is placing his thumb on the scale and seeing what happens but), getting sent off to juvie etc etc. His parents. Aren’t the greatest. They’re not abusive but they really. do not give a shit about their kids to be honest.

Jeff gets burned and his skin is bleached (idk if my design for jeff is more realistic or more true to the original design but like. something with fire happens there. something something you can make symbolism or a motif outta that idk im not smart enough to). Although. I’m gonna personally say this doesn’t happen at a birthday party like it does in the original cause like. Where are the adults why would they let that happen. They just corner him in like an alley or something. Idk.

Jeff recovers, wakes up, sees himself in the mirror. Kinda freaks the fuck out for a second before realizing. damn okay no this rules i can work with this. This will have consequences.

Now. Jeff spends. Probably several months in the hospital. This is where I’m deviating from canon. None of the boys face any like juvie time for the burning cause they have. Damn good lawyers or something idk walk with me here. This is good news for Jeff once he gets out of the hospital.

He doesn’t really. Think about what he does next but the next thing he knows. He catches one of them off guard, one bad hit to the head… He’s standing over a corpse. He should feel terrified… But he doesn’t. Jeff feels a rush of euphoria that he’s never felt before.

He feels alive.

He rushes home, probably. to be honest. still high on painkillers. He carves a smile in his face, a symbol of his newfound joy. He carves out his eyelids so he’d never miss a second of his kills (because yes, why would he ever stop at just one kill?)

…Of course. His parents do not respond well to this. I think we can see where that goes.

But then. Oh, but then. He hears a voice. Turns out, in the time he was recovering, Liu got out of juvie! uh oh!

Let me be clear. Liu is like. The one person in the entire universe Jeff actually cares about right now. That being said, he did just watch his brother murder their parents, and probably would tattle to the police. So. Jeff did something that hurt his soul. Then, he burned his house down to hide all the evidence.

I haven’t decided if Liu is dead or not. Amending that statement, Liu absolutely dies here, I’m just deciding if I want him to come back to be homicidal or whatever yknow. I can make up some Zalgo fuckery for him being revived sure. anyways

Turns out. Carving like half your face off. Is bad for you! Jeff absolutely would have died if not for a certain tall faceless man in a suit.

They cut out a deal. Jeff gets healed (as in, he won’t get sepsis or bleed out and his eyes stay hydrated on their own) and protection in exchange for killing whoever the slenderman tells him to. He’s not a proxy per se; he has a lot more individuality than someone like Kate or Toby does, but he is absolutely one of the most effective ‘agents’ the Slenderman has.

So much so that he has a near perfect record. He’s genuinely having the time of his life being Slenderman’s attack dog. None of the other proxies really… Like him all that much? They feel like he gets special treatment. Because he does. And also he’s an asshole. Which he is. But what does he care about them? Besides. Arguing with Toby is so much fun.

He’s having his fun, until one night. A young girl miraculously survives his attack, gets a mysterious experimental serum injected in her veins, and starts a god damn warpath to come hunt him down and. Yknow. Jane the Kill him or whatever. His perfect streak… Broken… Gotta rectify that.

Jane being. Alive and being able to give testimony also kinda fucks him over with the law. See the good thing about leaving no witnesses is that there’s no one to rat on you to the police. Unfortunately. Now every police station in [INSERT US STATE WHERE THIS TAKES PLACE HERE] knows what his very distinct face looks like. And slenderman is good. He is not. Heal several bullet wounds good, so Jeff really has to lay low for a hot minute and keep his head down if he wants to stay. Breathing. Not that the cops are particularly good at their job but yknow.

Oh and also. True crime places start to pick up on the ~juicy~ story. And a young girl hears about the “Woods Case” and becomes. Unhealthily obsessed. Uh oh a third killer has entered the scene. Hi Nina.

And I mean. That’s kinda it. Not gonna lie I feel like this is. A pretty standard and kinda. vanilla interpretation of him, I don’t have anything like. Special going on. but like. whateva

Holy shit this post is so long I didn’t even realize—

[clumsyclifford]

dearly depressed and brokenhearted (i’d like to let you know that boys cry too)

it’s been a hot sec since i’ve properly posted a fic on tumblr but whatever i have the time and this one isn’t too long

anyway shoutout to @httpsgfg for the idea for the so much therapy playlist, which i somehow got through the entire three and a half hours of whilst writing/posting this. also shoutout to @rotten-candie for helping me pick a title & summary

to be perfectly clear: this is a gen fic. it is centered on a friendship. i’m not in charge of you and if you’re so inclined to read it as pre-slash then i can’t stop you, but if it’s all the same to you, it’s a friendship fic to me

tw i guess for angst, possibly hints at depression, crying, etc there are better tags on ao3 if you need them

title from how do you feel? by the maine

read here on ao3

-

It’s Saturday, or maybe Monday. Luke has stopped keeping track.

Rain is coming down, slowly but surely. Going outside is sure to end in getting soaked to the bone, probably shivering. Especially if Luke doesn’t bring a jacket.

He goes anyway.

The chill in the air wraps around him like clingfilm, settling under his skin. For a moment outside it would be bearable, but Luke plans to be outside a bit longer than that. He’s going to be cold. He is probably going to lose feeling in his fingers. It would be best to go back inside. Grab some gloves. Maybe a warm coat. Drizzling rain follows the wind and sprays in his face. Luke takes the front steps, one, two, onto the damp grass, which gives under his footsteps. Another. Another. Water soaks through the front of his shoes; his socks are going to get wet and soon he’ll lose feeling in his toes as well. 

He’s not trying to go numb or anything. Maybe he’s a bit of a masochist, but who isn’t? It’s not like the cold is going to give him permanent damage. He’ll go back inside when he can’t handle it anymore, but he has time before he reaches his threshold. Outside is the only place Luke can possibly fathom being right now. Everywhere else is wrong. Too bright or too loud or somehow otherwise just wrong.

Here, in the elements, his hoodie barely protects his face from the biting wind. Sleeves over his hands only do so much, even if he curls the ends of them into his palms. Jeans are not the right trousers to wear when it’s below freezing. The rain is only making it all worse.

Luke keeps walking.

He keeps his head down, watching his feet as they carry him forward, one in front of the other with no clear destination except away. Away will eventually circle around and lead him home again — he’s not trying to permanently escape. Something about the rain feels like a reset button, and that might be exactly what Luke needs. 

The thing is, this walk is supposed to be clearing Luke’s head, not weighing it down. Not weighing him down. Nothing is really wrong. If Luke tries to parse through his day, or the last couple of hours, he could probably single out a couple of things that might be to blame — calling home always makes him a little more fragile; call ended digs into his chest every time in a way that feels tragically, unjustifiably final — but he’s tired of having a reason for feeling heavy. Sometimes life is just hard. That’s the issue with the question what’s wrong, Luke thinks, blinking at the lights reflecting off the glistening road. Often, nothing is wrong. Does something have to be wrong for me to feel bad? he wants to say, except nobody has even asked him, and this entire conversation is happening inside his head.

Even in his head he’s creating problems where there aren’t any. Awesome.

A chill has taken up permanent residence in Luke’s body. He curls inward, trying to pretend like the wind isn’t blowing around him, like the rain isn’t stinging his face and the exposed strip of his ankles that his jeans and socks don’t quite meet to cover. It’s starting to come down harder; Luke’s hoodie is sticking to his shoulders and back and he might as well be wearing nothing at all for all the protection it’s providing him from the cold. He knows that this is the wrong thing to wear in this weather, but that had kind of been the point. It feels right to be doing something wrong on purpose. It certainly feels better than doing it wrong by accident. Or by virtue of it being beyond his control.

He’d expected to be cold, and he is. A sick sort of comfort arises from having predicted that cause-and-effect.

Luke’s mental clock is rubbish, and though his phone is in his pocket he can’t take it out and check it or it’ll get wet, so he has no idea how long he’s been out when it rings. Buzzes. Luke sighs. He digs his phone out of his pocket, cradling it to his chest to keep it out of the rain, and answers the call. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

Luke waits for Michael to say anything. Eventually: “Where are you?”

“Outside,” Luke says. He looks around. “About five minutes away.”

“Away? Where did you go?”

“I didn’t — I was just walking.”

“Oh.” Michael pauses, and Luke knows what he’s going to say before he says it. “In the rain?”

“Is it raining?”

“...Yes?”

“Then yes, in the rain.”

“Okay. Well. Um, are you going to be back soon?”

Luke sighs again. “I don’t know, maybe.”

“Are you, uh…” There’s a moment of silence. Luke glances around himself, turning his back to the wind. The constant motion of his walk had been the only thing keeping him from becoming a glacier of a man, and now he’s lost that.

“Don’t worry about me, Mike,” Luke says. “I won’t be out too long. Promise.” He can’t, or he’ll get hypothermia or frostbite or something.

“Okay,” Michael says. Luke can tell he’s struggling not to ask if Luke is okay, and it makes Luke feel inexplicably affected. That Michael wants to ask, but knows Luke well enough to know that Luke won’t want him to. 

“I’m okay,” he says as a compromise. It’s not really true, but it’s what he would have said if Michael had asked him anyway.

“Okay,” Michael says again, more quietly. “Love you.”

“Love you.”

There’s a long silence. Then Michael hangs up.

The hand holding Luke’s phone slowly lowers, shoving it back into his pocket. Luke stares down at the ground. He blinks back tears, but they come faster than he’s able to stop them. There’s no mistaking tears for rain, actually, not in this weather, because these tears are hot and salty when they slide down his cheeks and into the corners of his mouth. The incongruity of warm tears on his freezing cold face almost makes him laugh, except when he opens his mouth to laugh what comes out instead is an unsolicited sob.

Shit. Fuck. He hadn’t meant to cry. He really hadn’t wanted to cry. He’s not going to become a blubbering mess in the middle of the road at midnight. Being sad is acceptable when nothing’s wrong, but crying when nothing’s wrong is crossing a fucking line. 

Why, why is it that hanging up the phone just stabs him in the heart? What the fuck is his problem?

One minute, he tells himself, crouching down because the smaller he is, the warmer he’ll be; one minute of crying and then you’re going to stop crying, because there’s nothing to cry about. One minute.

And for one minute he cries.

After one minute, he’s mostly out of tears anyway. Sniffling, he wipes under his eyes with his damp sleeve. That’s enough, he thinks firmly, sniffling again. Enough. It’s enough.

Before he stands up, he closes his eyes and takes a deep, deep breath. It doesn’t alleviate the weight on his chest, the weight of nothing being wrong, but blocking his vision allows him to tune into his other senses. It’s freezing cold and he shivers, listening to the rain softly hitting the pavement. This isn’t a panic attack, but Luke always finds it helpful to zero in on his senses. Quiet rain like static in his ears, the denim of his jeans creased behind his knees in his crouch, lingering salt on his tongue from the last of the tears, tight skin on his cheeks, his shaky inhales and exhales as he fights for a steady breathing pattern.

He’s okay.

Five minutes from home. Luke straightens up, hugging his arms around himself. His fingers and toes have all but frosted over by now. The world is awash in pale yellow and ashy grey, punctuated with almost-black in dark, unlit corners. On either side of him, familiar houses urge Luke onward, promising one more familiar than the rest if he just keeps walking.

So he does.

Five minutes feels very long, though Luke’s sense of time is, of course, warped beyond recognition, and for all he knows it’s ten minutes before he sees their house. Or two. 

Luke stands at the curb before the walkway. It’s freezing cold. He should go inside and warm up. He should make a cup of tea. He should take a hot shower.

Through the window it’s bright, though, so bright, far too bright for the gloomy mood still clamping down on Luke’s shoulders. Even if he went through the living room and shut himself in his room with the lights off, it wouldn’t be the same. The mood is uninterrupted and he doesn’t want to break it with anything.

As Luke stands there, shivering and indecisive, the front door opens.

“Luke?”

“Hi,” Luke says again, like he did on the phone. 

“It’s below freezing,” Michael says. “Are you coming in?”

“No.” He’s not. He can’t. Not yet, anyway. Maybe in five minutes. He can go five more minutes before frostbite becomes a real possibility.

“It’s cold, you’ll freeze,” says Michael.

“It’s not that cold.”

“And it’s raining. Cold and raining.”

“I’m not really cold,” Luke lies. “I’m okay. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Michael stands on the stoop, watching him. From this distance it’s hard to see his expression, but Luke can pretty much guess it’s a mixture of disapproval and concern. Michael has perfected it.

“Be right back,” he finally says, then slips back inside, leaving the door slightly ajar, before Luke can tell him he really doesn’t need to come back. Luke waits, though he contemplates just leaving for another walk. He’s not a dick. Although if Michael returns with Ashton or Calum, Luke will probably be annoyed. He’s not a child and he doesn’t need mothering, which Ashton is sure to do, nor is he in the mood to be cheered up, so Calum won’t be any help either.

Michael returns. He’s wearing a jacket and a beanie and there’s a blanket from off their couch in his hands.

“Michael,” Luke says. 

“Please,” Michael says. “I’m obviously not going to convince you to come inside, but I don’t want you to freeze.” He takes the steps, footsteps falling where Luke’s had, and comes close enough to Luke that when he offers up the blanket, Luke reaches out and takes it. “I know you don’t wear jackets,” Michael explains.

It feels like cheating. The masochistic walk should be all-or-nothing. But Luke can’t bring himself to refuse it. It’s not about the blanket, is the thing, really; it’s not about being warm. It’s about the gesture, about accepting the love and concern of a friend when Luke obviously needs it.

The blanket unfolds in his hands and he wraps it around himself. Some of the chill subsides. A new warmth blooms cautiously from within, starting in his sternum and spreading outward. It moves slowly and with difficulty, thawing the ice that’s formed inside Luke’s chest from all of his internal insistence that being cold had been the solution, but it doesn’t back down.

“Can I stay?” Michael asks. “You can say no.”

“Stay for what?” Luke glances around. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Yeah, I know. I just. Thought you might want to do nothing but…with a friend.”

Luke considers saying no. Michael would shrug, eyebrows drawing together in more concern, probably. Okay, he would say. Come inside soon. He would probably shift on his feet, trying to determine whether or not it would be okay to hug Luke, and ultimately decide against it. The door would close behind him and Luke would have the big, empty, glacial outdoors to himself. That had been the goal, when he’d left. To be alone. To have all the room in the world, with the hopes that attempting to fill it would spread his sadness too thin to hold weight. Except that hadn’t really worked. He’d just grown dense, stodgy instead of risen. The rain must have iced his sadness in. 

“Would you?” Luke says quietly, swallowing.

Michael nods. He does a very good job pretending like he hadn’t desperately wanted Luke to say yes, although Luke knows he had. “Are you still walking?”

“I think I was going to sit,” Luke says, glancing down at the curb. “You don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind,” Michael says, and Luke really believes that. Luke takes a seat on the curb, even though the frozen rain seeps through his jeans, and Michael sits shoulder-to-shoulder beside him. They both stare out across the street. 

After a moment, Michael speaks quietly out into the air. “What — uh — I don’t really know what question to ask. Or if I shouldn’t ask anything.”

“Just as long as you don’t ask what’s wrong,” Luke says wearily. “I’m sick of what’s wrong.”

“Fair enough,” Michael says. There’s a beat of silence. “What are we doing out here?”

“You’re keeping me company.”

“And you’re…?”

Luke shrugs, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. It’s still raining and even the blanket is going to be soaked through soon. Luke’s hands are inside his sleeves, which are inside the blanket, but they’re still numb. “Wallowing.”

He really is wallowing, the most self-indulgent kind of sadness. Hardest to let go of, easiest to drown in. 

“Oh,” Michael says, a soft edge in his voice. “That makes sense.”

“It does?”

“I don’t know, yes?” Michael reaches out with his converse, tapping the side against Luke’s calf. “You’re a wallowing kind of guy. Sometimes that’s what you need.”

For the second time tonight, Luke feels abruptly like he might cry, but this time he doesn’t. “Uh. Thanks. I think?”

“I can wallow with you,” Michael says simply. 

“Aren’t you cold?”

“Yeah. Aren’t you?”

A small smile tugs at the corners of Luke’s lips. “Yeah,” he admits.

“Yeah,” Michael says, like he’s just made a point. “But you shouldn’t wallow alone. You should at least have company.”

Luke takes a deep breath. He pulls his hood further over his head and glances over at Michael, who’s just watching his own feet with interest. 

“Okay,” Luke allows, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Just a couple more minutes. Then we can go inside.” He wonders if this had been Michael’s ploy, to guilt Luke back indoors by offering to freeze for him. But he’s pretty sure it isn’t a trick. Michael isn’t manipulative. He’s just loyal.

“Whatever you want,” Michael says, kicking carelessly at a loose piece of asphalt.

Luke hesitates, lingering in the bubble of silence between them that almost seems to mute the rest of the world. Michael looks over at him finally. When he meets Luke’s eyes, he quirks a transient smile. The warmth defrosting Luke’s insides grows hotter.

Luke leans his head on Michael’s shoulder, and Michael only shifts to accommodate him. “You can wallow with me. We can wallow together. If you want to. If you don’t mind.”

Michael tilts his head against Luke’s and hooks his foot around Luke’s ankle. “Yeah. Wallowing together. I can do that.”

It’s bitterly cold, and the icy rain and wind are doing them no favours. But when Luke closes his eyes this time, the only sensation that seems to matter is Michael’s shoulder solid under Luke’s weight, and he doesn’t feel quite so heavy anymore.

[3phetaliaverse]

3p!Axis Physical Description HeadCannon’s

this is going to be long

Francesco Vargas (3p!North Italy)

he’s tall in a sense (5″11″)

a lean frame (built similar to a ballerinas)

darkly tanned skin like his 2p’s but it has patches of paler tan on him, one on his right eye and takes the whole space, a couple on his arms that are around 2-3 inches each, some on his torso that are larger (6 inches wide), and some on his legs that are around 2-3 inches wide

wispy platinum blonde hair that’s short and curly

icy blue eyes

smiles that know things that you don’t

very very graceful, steps are light, he makes a good thief

light bags  under his eyes

scars on his torso from when 3p!Rome (Octavius, he’s a jerk and i hate him) got his hands on him for a while

his curl does exist,,,same thing as his first/second players

Reinhardt  Beilschmidt (3p!Germany)

taller then Francesco but only by a couple of inches (6″2′)

built like 1p!Germany but less muscular

fair snowy skin with freckles on his forehead

midnight blue/black curly hair similar to some of 2p!Germany’s (Lutz) designs

dark amber eyes

soft cute amazing smiles that make it seem that he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to smile

clumsy with his hands but somewhat balanced in walking

scars from fights with his brother, Kaiser (3p!Prussia)

no bags under his eyes

he’s so pure i love him so much

Riku Honda (3p!Japan)

short (5″3′)

lean figure like Francesco but a bit more muscular

macaroon cream toned skin

pitch black really long hair, usually up in high ponytail

his hairs straight but he ain’t

periwinkle colored eyes

really cute smiles

athletic in multiple ways, hasn’t tripped in a long time (unless Zao trips him)

scars on his back from “Little Boy” and “Fat Man”. Chris feels really guilty whenever he catches glimpse of them and wishes he got their in time. Riku forgives him though.

dark bags under his eyes

he’s a loveable kitten

Alessandro Vargas (3p!South.Italy/Romano)\

oh boi he’s my favorite character, i love him so much fjkajdkljafkdj a i would die for him+a couple others

tallllll (6″8′) 

hunky muscular figure

skin tone similar to Francescos with the same patches of lighter skin on him, just his are more on his torso. 

chocolate/dark umber hair mix similar to the 2p!South.Italy’s hairstyle

pale emerald eye color with shards of darker emerald in them

doesn’t smile much, but when he opens up and rambles absently about something his eyes light up and he wears a crooked smile that looks adorable and hot at the same time??? it’s worth to see.

more balanced then Zao, due to Octavius’s strict “training”

so many scars, this poor man has been through enough

he’s missing his left eye and a right thumb because of Octavius’s drunken rages

he has a slash across his nose due to the same reason, and missing his entire left leg after it got caught under a building (long story)

has a lot more scars on his back from severe beatings, and a lot on his arms ‘cause of self harm. 

he needs all the love he can get

bags under his eyes heavier then my sins

curl exists just like his first/second players

Carlos Fernández Carriedo (3p!Spain)

can’t spell Spain without pain

tall but when he’s next to Alessandro he looks short (6″0′)

scrawny yet a bit muscular figure

he has dat ass

dark olive skin tone

he has permanent dirty blonde hair in a similar style to 1p!Spains but his hair colors actually dark hickory

the only reason he has dirty blonde hair is because of a drunken mistake with the BTT

teal/cyan eyes with hearts in them

a lot of burns due to him around with his “power”/magic/curse

wears gloves like Elsa, except these are everything-proof

no bags under his eyes

grumpy yet happy ray of sunshine

Julian Edelstein (3p!Austria)

he and Perceus hate each other because both have egos bigger then the earth

average height for a Male Austrian (5″11′)

very skinny figure

medium blonde hair that’s in the style like 1p!Austrias just a bit longer

snowy white skin with flecks of a pale orange on them

heather toned eyes

some scars from wars but they’re real faded now

no bags under his eyes because a king gets his sleep

Mean dudebut i love him

Kaiser Beilschmidt (3p!Prussia)

This boi

smol angry ball (he’s 4″11″ ahhaakhhahahh he hates that he is)

a bit chubby figure that makes hugging him (assuming that he lets you touch him in the first place) adorable

skin tone similar to 1p!Prussia’s 

really pale platinum blonde hair with faint streaks of blue in them (the same event that led to Carlos having permanent blonde hair led him to have cyan blue hair for a month, and Theodore having pink tips for three months)

some scars from fights with Reinhardt

huge bags under his eyes

[bonesingerofyme-loc]

Shattered Legions I

Examining in narrative form the characters that make up my Shattered Legions killteam.

Personae Raven Guard Captain Leucas Kypto, XIX  Brother Ides Conom, XIX  Brother Macito Orn, XIX Iron Hands Brother Mordecai Castron, X Sons of Horus Luna Wolves Brother Aviko Barradon, XVI World Eaters Sergeant Khord, XII Death Guard Brother Varecht Poole, XIV Thousand Sons Codicier Noltak Vaal, Raptora, XV

 ‘I am Alpharius.’ Across the arming room, Aviko glances up at him while Leucas and Khord continue stripping down their bolters. All were present, save Vaal, some stripped to bodysuits, others in partially dismantled battle plate. His words only seem to register with Ides, who slowly rises to his feet, putting aside his jump-pack. Before the Raven Guard can speak, Macito goes on:

‘That’s what they always say. The Alpha Legion, I mean. Has anyone else fought alongside them?’

‘I had more than enough experience on Isstvan,’ Ides spat, voice rough, an octave higher and coarse from a slash across his neck, courtesy of an Emperor’s Child. Macito nods and can’t push aside the clench of guilt around his two hearts.

‘We all did. I meant before.’ Ides returns to his seat, but doesn’t break the acid glare he’s sending.

‘There is no before. There’s Isstvan, and there’s now.’ Leucas sighs.

‘Ides. Brother. Center yourself. Brother Macito, get to the point.’ It’s a name that by now feels almost more natural than the one he was born with, the one that slides a little farther away every day.

‘I’m saying they had strength of purpose. The Alpha Legion. I was thinking about the Legions that – the ones that betrayed us. Some of them…don’t feel surprising. Word Bearers. Night Lords. Even the Iron Warriors, I can consider and find reason.’

Sul’in’s voice rumbles through the arming chamber from his corner, deep in the shadow. Macito can only make out the shadowed shape of the marine, hulking and huge as he works on a long, serrated blade. The Salamander’s eyes burn in the darkness and he claims bright light irritates his rad-burns.

‘Curze’s bastard sons never sat right with me. None of the honesty of the World Eaters-‘ Khord grunts at this, but makes no other move as he slots diamantite teeth into a chainaxe. ‘and all the brutality of the Wolves. At least the Wolves have a purpose. Those bastards in midnight…all they lived for was torture. It was unclean.’

‘That is my point, that exactly, Ashrock. There’s a flaw, or some…some truth to the Legions that turned that reveals the treachery. The Night Lords were criminals, all of them. Rapists and murderers given the geneseed. The Word Bearers might’ve once worshipped the Emperor, but who knows what other fanes they found to bow to. Perturabo was always unhappy, always hating Dorn. Horus could offer the Iron Warriors nothing more than the chance to kill the Fists and it would be enough.’ Macito shakes his head, putting his bolter carefully aside, resting it on hooks and placing his gauntleted hands on his knees.

‘The Alpha Legion, that is more curious to me.’

‘What’s curious? What’s possibly curious? They’re traitors, Macito. Traitors. We don’t need to understand them; we don’t need to figure them out. We only need to kill them.’ It would always be Ides, he had considered once, always Ides that would be the one. There is so much hatred that burns in that son of Corax, a nucleonic nugget in his chest that will never, ever cool. At Praxitilum V, when they had struck the outpost of the III Legion for resupply, his bloody rampage had rivaled Khord’s. Ides had no nails to blame.

Barradon shrugs, pauldrons hissing as they match his gesture. Underneath the applications of white paint, splashed and slathered across the surfaces, here and there can be seen tiny streaks and patches of oceanic green, peeking through gouges and scrapes. In contrast to the liberal and careless application of ivory coating sits a meticulous and pristine wolf’s head set against a crescent moon in deep black. It had been an obsession of the Astartes’ to find something, anything to blot away his old colors. The paint slathered across his armor is usually meant for decking and bulkheads, appropriated without care. The reborn Luna Wolf had gouged out the crimson, slitted Eye jewels with his combat knife, defacing them and throwing them into waste chutes. The settings still yawn at his belt and chest, hollow like sockets absent teeth.

‘There’s a worth in knowing why. If only to remember where the line is.’ Ides snorted, and didn’t deign to respond. There was a constant tension between him and the three of their little group, the three whose Legions had fallen into treachery. Aviko Barradon, Khord and Varecht Poole, who had never been to Istvaan, who had heard of their Legion’s damnation and turned aside. Each dealt with it in a different way.

Barradon had regressed, repainting his armor, acting sometimes as if the years as a Son of Horus had never occurred. As if the Legion that marched with the damned Warmaster was something different. Something he had never been a part of.

Khord, ever a simple and straightforward World Eater, simply walked away. He still sported the bone-white and sky-blue of his Legion, still the beaten brass devoured world adorned his pauldron. It wasn’t his fault his lunatic father had led his Legion into insanity. Why should he apologize?

Varecht Poole hoped. He had hoped that his father, Mortarion, had made a mistake. An error. A miscalculation. That there could be redemption, for his Primarch and his Legion. That maybe, maybe, his father could be made to see the truth of things, the right of things. Then he had learned of Istvaan V, of Primarchs butchered in the sands. Now Poole was empty, a hollowed out core of a man, more mechanical than the augmented Iron Hands.

And Ides Conom could forgive none of them, nor ever forget their origins. Even if none of the three had been at Istvaan, even if lightyears had separated them from the perfidy committed in the hell of Urgall, Ides would never see them as anything but traitors. Useful, convenient traitors, but still, at their deepest core: tainted.

‘So I try to understand Alpha Legion. The others, I can find a way. Alpha Legion? ‘I am Alpharius’, they always say. When I served alongside them, I only knew a handful of names. They are their Primarch, they say. They are all one. One person, one mind, one purpose. Hydra.’

Leucas gives a slow nod, putting aside his lapping powder and resting his detached pauldron at his feet, still shining with polish. The bold, heraldic Raven was scratched and marred by las-blasts and the teeth of chainswords but never would its luster fade.

Leucas Kypto, son of the Raven, Captain of the Forty-Ninth, the only reason any of them were alive. Leucas who had pulled Sul’in from the glassy soil of a nuclear crater, hauling the enormous Salamander free of the razor-edged debris. Leucas who had gutted Word Bearers and Night Lords alike, slaughtering through the madness of Urgall toward the scattered landers that remained. Leucas who had beaten sense into Ides, with shouted words and then fists, knocking his brother from rage into sensibility. Leucas who had hauled Mordecai, bodily, from the field as the Iron Hand raged, frothing for the heads of the bastards, the bastards who killed his father.

Leucas, who had gone back. Leucas, who, with a battered Thunderhawk ready to launch, with injured and dying brothers on board, with the galaxy guttering into insensibility and horror around him, had turned his back and dove into the crush once more. Because he saw another brother, saw another Raven with its wings clipped, struggling to safety. Leucas who had gripped his hand and pauldron, who had pressed his helm to Macito’s and shouted to be heard over the din of dying dreams. To come with him. To stand. To fight on. To live.

Leucas had ‘saved’ him.

Leucas who had kept their slowly growing, dysfunctional band together and alive through the months after the Massacre.

Leucas who had stood between Ides and Khord, bodily interposing between a man with nothing to lose and a man lost to the Nails and talked both down.

‘I can follow your meaning,’ Leucas says, crossing arms across his broad plastron. ‘The Alpha Legion strives to all be singular. If the order came from their Primarch, who would question it?’ The marine shakes his head, sighing long and deep. ‘This is the seeds from which all of this was sown. Secrecy. Blind obedience. Wheels within wheels and intrigue where there should only have been warriors.’

‘The rot of the Lodges,’ Aviko grinds out, and rare was it that he would speak at all of his Legion. Several heads nod at that. ‘The Lodges,’ spits Khord, the words like crumbling masonry. ‘We had none of that shit in the XIIth, but I saw it enough in others.’

‘The Lodges,’ whispers Poole. He holds out a hand, where a small metal disc glints. His low voice is monotone, bereft of any feeling or inflection. ‘Where all could be equal. Where anything could be said. ‘I can’t say’. ‘I can’t say.’ Would you betray your own brothers? ‘I can’t say.’’

‘How excellent, we all understand why our brothers betrayed us. Now their treachery is clear.’ Ides slams his bolter onto the rack and stands, pushing towards the door. ‘This conversation goes places I don’t care for.’

‘Ides.’ Leucas does not raise his voice, nor change his tone, but the Raven Guard stops short of the hatch.

‘Sit down.’ For a long moment, Conom remains with his hand outstretched, reaching for the release, before he slowly lowers it, and stomps back to the battered metal bench.

‘I’m sure Brother Macito had a point behind all this.’ Leucas raises an eyebrow, black like the short-cropped hair on his head.

‘I did.’ Macito sucks in a deep breath, holds it for a second, and releases it. All of it.

‘I am Alpharius.’

[pettyelves]

Long Ass Chart

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Arbiter Eilithe Duskbringer Reason or meaning of name: OOCly I love Gaelic names- icly, her mother just liked the name-- the surname is of importance to all Duskbringers, because it is one they chose.  Character’s nickname: E, Lithy, Eili, Eye- PS she hates them all Reason for nickname: To irritate her, she presumes. Birth date: May 12th

Physical appearance

Age: Somewhere between three and four thousand How old does he/she appear: By human comparison, early-mid thirties Weight: 150/160lbs Height: 6′ Body build: Toned Shape of face: Square Jaw Eye color: Deep Gray Glasses or contacts: Nope Skin tone: Getting more tan now that she lives in Dead Sun, still mostly pale Distinguishing marks: Scars- Claw-like slashes on her shoulders, gunshot scar on her right side, slashes on her stomach, various minor ones on her legs. Tattoos- Strange mark on her left wrist, an upward facing moon cupping a circle between her brows, Kaldorei mark of the Owl, a small spider in the middle of her spine, a serpent vweaving through peonies on her right forearm. Predominant features: Weird eyes, pierced elfie ears Hair color: Midnight Blue-Black Type of hair: Wild curls Hairstyle: Down usually Voice: Raspy and low Overall attractiveness: She’s purdy good looking- bit rougher from the neck down. Physical disabilities: Weak ass ribs. Usual fashion of dress:  Black- Leather or loose cloth (and often see-through dresses)

Favorite outfit: There’s a black chiffon dress she wears a lot, feels the most comfortable in loose pants and a tank top. Jewelry or accessories: Earrings, an emerald ring on her right ring finger, daggers or short swords.

Personality

Good personality traits: Loyal, Generous (usually), Protective, Loving, Cunning  Bad personality traits: 100% Bitchiness, Ill-tempered, Paranoid, Petty, Stubborn, Unsure Mood character is most often in:  A very quiet depression that she’s carefully keeping herself from plunging into  Sense of humor: Queen of Petty™ Character’s greatest joy in life: Her children, The Family Character’s greatest fear: The unknown, Uncertainty. Why? Because she feels she can survive anything so long as she knows it is coming. What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Losing Eilonwy would destroy her, Losing her ‘adopted’ An’Diel children, Kurel breaking their deal, Losing anyone from her inner circle. Character is most at ease when: When everyone is getting the fuck along and making money Most ill at ease when: She is being questioned. Enraged when: (By) Cowardice, Hurting kids, Slavers, Violators, She makes a mistake Depressed or sad when: She makes a mistake, she feels hopeless.  Priorities: Her daughter, Her Family, Dead Sun Harbor, Her Businesses Life philosophy: ‘Ya’Til-Anath’ - which is just the made up elf version of ‘Momento Mori’- ‘Remember that you must die’ If granted one wish, it would be:  A prosperous family Why? Because that means everyone would be getting the fuck along Character’s soft spot:  Children, Slaves, the poor and hungry Is this soft spot obvious to others?  Hugely Greatest strength:  ‘Rabid’ will Greatest vulnerability or weakness:  Easily exploited  Biggest regret:  How she faked ‘The Spiders’ death Minor regret: Waste of Time Biggest accomplishment:  Her children and her empire (AKA Dead Sun) Minor accomplishment: Bleeding secrets out of a proverbial Fort Knox of a Pirate Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about:  She dead ass went running down a dock to try and help someone whilst they were being attack and proceeded to knock herself out cold via tripping and faceplanting Why? She’s an old ass rogue that, because of my crit fail, busted her ass infront of goddamn everyone. Character’s darkest secret:  The manner in which her pseudonym ‘The Spider’ was executed Does anyone else know?  Yes, the people who created what stood in Eilithe’s place for execution.

Goals

Drives and motivations: ‘Still have things to do’ Immediate goals: Fix what she did to Kurel, Fix her relationships with Recke and Elle-- also GETTING THE FUCK OUT of wherever the Golden Orb took her Long term goals: Cash Money $$$, Expanding she and Kurel’s businesses. How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Ways...Mysterious ways How other characters will be affected: Kurel will be stronger, Recke and Elle will hopefully be happier. DSH will be richer

Past

Hometown: A secluded village in Feralas Type of childhood: Happy, then sad for a bit, then okay Pets: Some random cat First memory: Learning to swing a dagger, ‘the right way’ with her mom. Most important childhood memory:  The death of her parents, but also all the teachings that they passed to her. Why? Eilithe was very close with her parents, and the way she was raised in that village shaped the code for Mortua Sol Childhood hero: Her mother. Dream job: Livin’ it Education: Various teachers over the years Religion: Not Focused on, but Elune Finances: Lived in a bargaining society, very little need for coin- but they had some

Present

Current location: Somewhere-- before the plot? Dead Sun or Stormwind Currently living with: Kurel An’Diel, Eilonwy Duskbringer, Karkah An’Diel, Diana Moonfeather-- and on the same property are Xavier Sunshadow and Saeris Blackblade Pets: Kaz’Alarion, a cat that comes and goes as he damn well pleases Religion: Voodoo Occupation: Arbiter of Dead Sun Harbor, Businesswoman Finances:  Okay, but not as good as they were

Family

Mother: Meridianna (Lu’Cerne) Duskbringer Relationship with her:  Very close Father: Valedinel Stormsinger Relationship with him: Close, but not as close as with mom Siblings: (From Oldest to Youngest) An’Set Duskbringer, Sulerion Duskbringer, (Eilithe), Moltai Duskbringer Relationship with them: Much love, Tolerant- mostly hate, Doesn’t know who Moli exists Spouse: (sort of) Kurel An’Diel Relationship with him/her: Carefully Co-existing, comfortable Children: (Oldest to Youngest) Threshad Duskbringer (Missing), Ayoden Duskbringer (presumed dead), Eilonwy Duskbringer--- (Under her care) Karkah An’Diel, Xavier Sunshadow/An’Diel Relationship with them: Close with Eilonwy, Trying to get close to Karkah, deeply devoted to Xavier Other important family members: 

Favorites

Color: Black, Red Least favorite color: Yellow Music: Tribal, Drums Food: Dumplings Literature: Fairytales Form of entertainment: Reading, Drinking Expressions: “Get Fucked.” Mode of transportation: ‘Doorways’ aka Portals Most prized possession: Her mother’s daggers, an anklet

Habits

Hobbies: Drinking, Event Going, Event Planning, Making Money, Sparring, Sunbathing Plays a musical instrument? A little piano/lute Plays a sport? Sparring How he/she would spend a rainy day: Sit on the patio and read- or play in it with Eilonwy Spending habits: Hands out gold to people like it is candy sometimes Smokes: A ton Drinks: Often Other drugs: In moderation What does he/she do too much of? People pleasing What does he/she do too little of?  Eating Extremely skilled at: Master of Thrown weapons, daggers, Exploiting technicalities Extremely unskilled at: Letting shit go Nervous tics: Nervously petting- as it a repetitive motion over and over, usually someone’s hair. Pacing. Usual body posture: Loose and probably arrogant  Mannerisms: Varies by who is around her Peculiarities: Doesn’t like to eat in public

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? Pessimist Introvert or extrovert? Extrovert that’s lowkey and Introvert Daredevil or cautious? This is situational Logical or emotional? Also situational, usually emotional if it concerns herself Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Oraganized disorcer Prefers working or relaxing? Working Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Situational Animal lover? 'Meh’

Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: She kind of wishes she could just ‘shut off’ her emotions One word the character would use to describe self: Water One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: ‘Eilithe Duskbringer is never going to stop.’ What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? Cunning What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? Emotional What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? Eyes What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Scars How does the character think others perceive him/her: Depends on who--anything from an unworthy leader to the greatest mother ever What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Nothing, ever.

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: She’s trying to adapt ‘Trust until they prove untrustworthy’ mindset Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Almost always Person character most hates: A list has many names Best friend(s): Strixena Draconis, Elle Sunweaver, Recke Stoutmantle Love interest(s): Kurel ‘I don’t want to’ An’Diel Person character goes to for advice: Kurel, Recke, Raylen Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Literally everyone she meets that isn’t ‘bad’ Person character feels shy or awkward around: Karkah An’Diel Person character openly admires: Varies, Strix, Recke, Kurel, Elle, Raylen. Then she could turn around and shit on one or all of them. It just depends Person character secretly admires: Full time moms Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Her Mother and Father-- among other Shal’Thera Kaldorei After story starts: Her kids and the Family

Tagged by: @ellwelune

tagging: @mortua-sol

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[filipeteimuraz]

How to Build Hype for the Holiday Season as an Ecommerce Brand

This is a great marketing opportunity for your ecommerce business.

You have a small operating window to effectively execute your plan.

These are some of the most common days to mark on your calendar during the holiday season:

Thanksgiving

Black Friday

Cyber Monday

Christmas Eve

Christmas Day

New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Day

These all happen within a month or so of each other.

Sure, there are other holidays spread throughout the year.

You can still run promotions for holidays like April Fool’s Day, Mother’s Day, 4th of July, and Labor Day.

But the holidays at the end of the year can be extremely profitable for you if you’re building enough hype for your ecommerce site.

Ecommerce is on the rise, and it goes up 12% during the holiday season.

Online shopping is convenient for consumers.

They don’t have to sit in traffic or wait in lines.

Shoppers can buy from their homes, offices, or mobile devices whenever they have free time.

Sure, not everyone loves shopping on ecommerce platforms.

In fact, 49% of shoppers say not being able to touch, try, or feel a product is their biggest problem with shopping online.

Regardless, ecommerce is still trending upward.

This is especially true for the holidays.

The average adult in the United States plans to spend $419 on their holiday gift purchases.

Take advantage of this.

Building up hype for your ecommerce site can get you a piece of that number.

I’ll show you how to get exposure for your website during the holiday season.

This will increase your traffic, conversions, sales, and revenue.

Start planning early

Don’t wait until the last minute to execute your holiday promotional strategies.

Waiting until December to start marketing for Christmas is way too late.

Let’s take a look at some numbers.

Consumers are shopping less during the pre-holiday dates.

Look at the trends over the last three years.

Just because your customers are waiting to buy does not mean you should be waiting to promote.

Look, I’m not saying to launch your campaign in July or August, but you can certainly start planning ahead.

If you wait, you could potentially lose the edge to your competitors.

Start preparing for factors outside of your marketing strategy as well.

Make sure you have enough inventory.

You’ll also need enough staff on the schedule who are familiar with your procedures to fill and process incoming orders.

Touch base with your web hosting service.

Find out if your website has enough speed and bandwidth to accommodate a potential surge in visitors.

Slow loading times or a site crash could be detrimental to your company, so get all of this sorted out ahead of time.

Planning ahead for unforeseen circumstances will save you time, money, and headaches in the long run.

Offer shipping benefits

Give the customer a reason to buy from you over the competition.

Shipping could be the deciding factor resulting in the sale.

In fact, 9 out of 10 consumers list free shipping as their top incentive for shopping online.

Free shipping isn’t the only motivation you should offer.

If possible, offer priority shipping or even overnight shipping options. Don’t exclude those last-minute shoppers.

If it’s the week before the holidays and people still need to buy gifts, they won’t use a company that takes two weeks to deliver an order.

That shouldn’t be your business. Let your competition make that mistake.

Sure, for overnight shipping or expedited packages, it may not be practical to offer free shipping.

Just make sure your customer has the option to choose when their package will arrive at the most affordable rate.

Be upfront about your shipping prices.

Consider that 61% of consumers said that unexpected costs like shipping, taxes, and fees were the reason for not finalizing their checkout process.

You definitely want to minimize shopping cart abandonment.

Offer free shipping whenever possible, and be transparent about extra costs before the customer reaches your checkout page.

Don’t alienate last-minute shoppers with long delivery dates.

Retargeting must be a top priority

Target your existing customers during the holiday season.

Sure, it’s always great to get new business.

But think about your marketing budget.

It can cost you up to 7 times more to obtain a new customer than to retain an existing customer.

The holiday season isn’t the time to experiment with a new customer acquisition strategy.

Focus on the people already familiar with your brand and products.

If you don’t market to your current customers, they may turn to your competitors instead.

Look at the data above.

During the holiday season, consumers are open to shopping on websites they haven’t visited before.

You can look at this in two ways:

You have a greater chance getting new customers.

Your current customers may shop on other ecommerce sites.

I would strongly recommend focusing on that second point.

We just talked about the cost of acquiring a new customer compared to keeping an existing one.

If you get new customers, that’s great.

But don’t make that your primary strategy for building holiday hype.

I would be much more concerned with losing one of your customers.

Launch your most successful retargeting strategies for your next holiday campaign.

Create a sense of urgency

Give your customers a reason to make the purchase now.

If they are just browsing, entice them to buy immediately instead of later.

Amazon uses this strategy on their platform all year round.

Look at this example.

Do you see how they created urgency here?

Only 1 item left in stock.

The customer may panic.

Even if they were just browsing, now they have a reason to buy it right away.

The customer knows their loved one really wants this item as a gift, so they don’t want to risk it being sold out before the holidays.

Implement this strategy on your ecommerce site.

Limited quantity remaining

Only 2 hours left before sale price expires

Free shipping if you order before midnight

These are some phrases you can use to encourage buying.

You should do this all year, but it’s especially effective during the holidays.

People want to buy the perfect gift for their friends and family members.

Entice them to purchase those gifts from your website.

Make sure your website is optimized for mobile devices

I often speak about the importance of mobile optimization.

The holiday season is no different.

It’s essential for your customers to be able to make purchases on their phones and tablets easily.

Look at the mobile ecommerce trends from last year’s holiday season:

Earlier we established that people wait until the Thanksgiving weekend to do the majority of their holiday shopping.

The above graph shows purchasing statistics over 3 important days for online retailers:

Thanksgiving Day

Black Friday

Cyber Monday

These dates are within five calendar days of each other.

On each of these days, over half of the ecommerce traffic came from mobile devices.

Purchases from mobile users were 40%, 36%, and 35%, respectively.

Those numbers cannot be ignored.

If your platform isn’t mobile optimized, there’s no chance you’ll get a significant number of sales.

Your page has to load fast too.

Mobile users will leave a site 57% of the time if it doesn’t load in 3 seconds.

Earlier we discussed the importance of planning ahead for the holiday season hype.

Mobile optimization and mobile load times should be at the top of your list.

Flash sales

Run a same day promotional event.

Flash sales work great.

This relates back to the concept of urgency.

Here’s a great example from the J. Crew Factory Store.

Take a look at the two points I highlighted here:

ends tonight

online only

These are both great ways to create hype.

Sure, this isn’t an advertisement focused on the holidays.

But you can use those terms during seasonal promotional campaigns as well.

Here’s another thing you want to consider when running a flash sale.

Timing is everything.

If you’re going to run a same day sale or a promotion lasting for a few hours, you need to plan it perfectly.

Find out what time of day your customers are shopping.

The data above shows consumer shopping habits from Cyber Monday last year.

For the most part, activity was much lower during the normal working hours of the day.

What does this tell you?

Starting a sale at 10 AM and ending it at noon probably isn’t your best bet.

However, starting your sale in the evening and running it through 8 AM the following day would be much more effective.

When planned and executed properly, flash sales are a great way to build hype during the holiday season.

Focus on your pricing strategy

Consumers are always price sensitive.

The holidays may not be a bad time to focus on your prices.

Compare your pricing to that of the competition.

Where do you fit?

One of the perks of online shopping for consumers is that they can compare prices between different sites in just seconds.

Chances are, they will buy the least expensive product.

Take a look at these researching habits:

Consumers even visit websites before making a purchase in a brick and mortar store.

Understand the psychology behind pricing.

People love feeling like they got a good deal.

Make sure your products offer them value.

What makes your company different?

If your product is the same as those of every other brand on the market, why should the customer pay double for yours?

They won’t.

The holidays are also a great time to offer discounts and deals.

We already talked about how important it is to offer free shipping.

Discount the products as well.

Mark the initial price higher if necessary, and then slash the prices with flash sales and other promotions.

Know your audience

Whom are you targeting with your holiday campaign strategy?

If the answer is anyone and everyone with access to the Internet, it’s a mistake.

Narrow your focus, and choose your target audience.

Does your business have a Facebook page?

If it doesn’t, you need one. But I won’t get into the importance of that right now.

For the time being, I’ll assume you have a presence on Facebook.

It’s a great way to find out the demographics of your target audience.

Go to the “Insights” tab on your Facebook page.

This will show you valuable information about everyone who liked your page.

You’ll learn their:

Gender

Age

Location

Language

Take this data, and create campaigns for your followers.

Based on this information, you can potentially figure out which holidays your followers celebrate.

Advertise accordingly.

Use multiple distribution channels

How are you planning to advertise during the holidays?

Email?

Facebook?

Your answer should be both, plus every other distribution channel you can find.

Make sure your brand has an active presence on different social media platforms.

Facebook is effective.

But that shouldn’t be your only resource.

Use Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube to connect with your customers.

Billions of consumers are active on various platforms each month.

If you’re running a promotion such as a flash sale, which we talked about earlier, advertise it on all of your active distribution channels.

This is the best way to ensure it reaches the largest number of people.

It may sound obvious, but too many ecommerce stores look over this concept.

They may advertise a promotion on Instagram but not on Twitter.

This doesn’t make any sense.

It will only take an extra minute or two out of your day to get this campaign up on all of your platforms.

Don’t slack during the holiday season.

Use all your resources to promote your products and brand.

Conclusion

The holiday season is a great opportunity for ecommerce stores to generate high profits.

It’s a time when people are looking to spend money over a short period of time.

The days between Thanksgiving and Christmas are the peak time when consumers shop for the holidays.

Run most promotions between Thanksgiving and Cyber Monday.

Those few days are a popular time for online shopping.

Plan ahead.

Make sure you’ve got plenty of staff and inventory ready for a potential surge in online orders.

Online shopping is growing in popularity, especially on mobile devices.

Your ecommerce store needs to be optimized for mobile users.

Create a sense of urgency with each campaign.

Run flash sales, and target your existing customers.

It’s cheaper to keep a current customer than to acquire a new one.

When you’re running a flash sale, pay special attention to the timing of your promotion.

Know your audience. Research the demographics of your customers, and market to those people accordingly.

Customers are sensitive to pricing, so make sure you focus on your pricing strategy.

Offer incentives like free shipping.

Don’t forget about last-minute shoppers.

You also need to advertise next day shipping whenever possible.

Promote your brand on all your distribution channels.

Following these techniques is a recipe for success if you want to build hype for your ecommerce site during the holidays.

How will you promote your ecommerce store during the holiday season to increase sales?

https://www.quicksprout.com/2017/10/20/how-to-build-hype-for-the-holiday-season-as-an-ecommerce-brand/ Read more here - http://review-and-bonuss.blogspot.com/2017/10/how-to-build-hype-for-holiday-season-as.html

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The 6 Most WTF Hollywood Depictions Of Donald Trump

Before he became the inciting incident in the post-apocalyptic thriller that is our age, Donald Trump spent most of his life cultivating the image of a disgustingly wealthy businessman and cameo-worthy celebrity. He was the rich bully of his time, inspiring many movies and TV shows to feature barely fictionalized versions of him as villainous characters meant to symbolize the greed and cynicism of 1980s capitalism. Interestingly, none of the following examples ever went so far as to imagine a future in which this character would become president.

6

A Trumpian New York City Developer Starts A Hate Campaign Against The Ninja Turtles

It was only a matter of time before the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles squared off against the most quintessential of all New York City foes: rising property values.

In the fourth season of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show, the Turtles are beleaguered by real estate magnate and rotund blowhard Fenton Q. Hackenbrush, who runs the not so subtly named Donald J. Lofty Enterprises. Hackenbrush wants to demolish the sewers completely and turn them into Donald J. Lofty luxury condos. For that, he needs the Turtles to disappear. (If Hackenbrush is anything like the real Trump, he probably thinks the Turtles are the wrong color to live in one of his buildings.)

In an interview with April O’Neil, Hackenbrush sells his greedy plans to the public on the basis that his sewer reconstruction will “flush out the worst menace in the city: the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” Of course, the people of New York don’t have any problems with the Turtles, so Hackenbrush forces a group of employees to dress up in those bad Turtle Halloween costumes we all used to wear and go commit crimes.

Then an evil turtle named Slash arrives in the city, and Hackenbrush immediately mocks him as “some kind of foreigner,” but then bribes him into sowing mayhem, fanning the flames of turtle racism.

Hackenbrush is eventually exposed by some ace reporting by O’Neil (New York Times, pay attention). As punishment, he is loudly fired by the actual owner of the company, Mr. Lofty — who looks surprisingly a lot like Fred Trump, Donald’s father. We’re not saying TMNT intentionally created a world in which Fred Trump would repeatedly yell “You’re fired” at his heir, but that’s immediately the best Trump origin story we’ve ever heard.

5

The Devil’s Advocate Features A Rich Murderer Who Owns Trump Tower

In The Devil’s Advocate, Al Pacino is the titular Devil (not a spoiler; you don’t cast Pacino in a movie about Satan and make him the lovable dad), who has set up a law firm in New York in order to subvert justice and release evil into society. And who is Satan’s favorite client? The guy who lives atop Trump Tower.

Though it is slightly inaccurate, since he never claims to have the best murders ever, just fantastic.

Alexander Cullen, played by a suitably balding Craig T. Nelson, is a Trump-esque real estate mogul accused of murdering his wife, stepson, and maid — dire straits for a guy based on someone who once bragged he could shoot a person in the middle of the street and get away with it. His arrest immediately prompts Pacino’s law firm of Fire, Brimstone & Ham to send their new ace attorney, Kevin Lomax (Keanu Reeves wearing his dad’s suit), to defend Cullen. Why? Because, oddly, he’s Lucifer’s best client, having racked up “16,242” billable hours in one year. That’s a lot of shady business.

Warner Bros. Pictures 1.85 years of shady business, to be exact.

But being a hated New York business tycoon and employing a massive team of evil lawyers doesn’t necessarily mean Cullen is a Trump clone, right? Luckily, for the sake of subtlety, when we finally arrive at Cullen’s home, we see that it’s literally Trump’s apartment in Trump Tower. The filmmakers managed to rent it out, preserving its natural appearance as Liberace’s mind palace.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures “Try not to touch anything — you’ll get metal poisoning.”

In the end, Cullen is found not guilty, despite Lomax knowing that he murdered those people, thereby finally giving in to his true nature as the son of Satan. That’s right, the Devil’s son loses his innocence by defending Trump. Burn.

4

A Sci-Fi TV Show Villain Morphs Into Donald Trump … Played By Donald Trump

Night Man was a late ’90s low-budget TV show based on the Malibu Comics series about a San Franciscan saxophone player who can sense evil and wears a laser eye. Despite that, it somehow managed to run for two seasons, possibly because of its reliance on magnificently bizarre cameos — none of which were more utterly mystifying than Donald J. Trump in technically the only real acting credit to his name.

In this episode, Night Man is chasing a face-changing villain called Face to Face, who decides to engage in some quick identity theft to make a large withdrawal from the bank. Who better to transform into than the self-proclaimed richest man in the universe, Donald Trump? (No really, please suggest someone better.) In one of the most perfect sequences in the history of the medium, Face to Face slowly morphs into The Donald, dazzling audiences with peak mid ’90s CGI while simultaneously reinforcing the idea that Trumps looks like a melting Claire Danes.

Donald Trump — remember, this is the real Donald Trump playing a man who has shapeshifted into Donald Trump — walks into a delightfully green-screened bank, and then sits down with the bank manager to illegally withdraw $10,000. Sadly, the nuanced layers of a real man pretending to be a fake man pretending to be him do not translate to Trump’s performance:

Could they not find a real bank that would allow Trump to walk in?

Weirdly, in his utter boredom and bad acting, something spectacular happens: Trump seems … nice. He’s subdued, polite, even charming. It seems that all you need to do to make Trump likable is carefully control what he says and make sure he’s not physically in the same room with any human beings.

3

A Disney Show Paired Donald Trump With A Dead Pirate

Before Disney found a way to become rich off Johnny Depp wearing a lot of eyeliner, it first got its pirate feet wet with The 100 Lives Of Black Jack Savage, a lighthearted romp wherein the undead spirit of a mass murderer teams up with a fictional Donald Trump analogue to save both of their souls from burning forever in hell.

Luckily, Disney would never reuse “Jack Savage,” or his ship the Black Bird, or anything like it ever again.

When Daniel Tarberry, a rich real estate mogul from New York, has to flee the country because of legal troubles, he buys a luxurious Caribbean mansion to lie low in, but doing so summons the ghost of Black Jack Savage, who was hanged on the island for his crimes. The two are now forced to save the lives of 100 people in order to save themselves from eternal damnation.

Tarberry is a greedy shark who insists on hanging a portrait of himself in every hotel room he owns and constantly tries to weasel out of paying his contractors a dime. He’s not very respectful to women, referring to every lady who talks back to him as “the poster girl for PMS.” He’s also a straight up racist, first assuming Black Jack is his cabin boy, then loudly exclaiming that he wants to change all the locks because he “found a black man in my kitchen.”

The writers had intended to start Tarberry off as a real piece of Trump, only to eventually learn from his mistakes and become a better man. He even occasionally refrains from treating Black Jack like some weird Jim Crow genie.

But the show never got to the redemption part, as the network pulled it after only seven poorly rated episodes. Believing that people are interested in seeing a Trump redemption story might have been the most misjudged part of The 100 Lives Of Black Jack Savage — a Disney show that opens with a black man being lynched.

2

Gremlins 2 Had Trump Fight Gremlins

Nobody really expected Gremlins to get a sequel, especially not its creators. And when it did, no one could have predicted that the real villain wouldn’t be gremlins, but the world’s most notorious New York City mogul.

Director Joe Dante wanted to have the Gremlins run amok in a fancy New York skyscraper. But the movie still needed a villain, a rich guy so obnoxious that audiences wouldn’t feel bad about watching midnight demons tear him several new assholes. And then it hit Dante: “At that time in New York City, there was one major character who was Mr. Billion.”

At the time, Trump was known for being “overbearing and obviously kind of goofy,” said the film’s writer, Charles S. Haas. “He was an emblem of what was going on in the ’80s and ’90s with greed and money and crassness, and [the idea of] the whole world being for sale.” And so they created powerful millionaire Daniel Clamp, a Trumpian mogul (with a dash of Ted Turner) who also happens to be running violent animal experiments in his tower Clamp Center.

Actor John Glover modeled his performance of Clamp on the director, whom he saw as “incredibly gentle, supporting and encouraging,” rather than on Trump, which is why Clamp can say weirdly racist nonsense like “Let’s lose the elm trees. People see elm, they think Dutch. [pause] Disease” and still sound like a swell boss. It’s also why we unreservedly root for Clamp when he shoves a Gremlin into a paper shredder.

And also because he seems to be the only one who realizes gremlins aren’t that difficult to kill.

Consequently, Gremlins 2: The New Batch offers a peek at an alternate universe in which Nice Trump helps us fight small-minded rage goblins, as opposed to the universe we live in, where those goblins got him elected president.

1

Sesame Street Thinks Donald Trump Is Garbage

Over its nearly 50-year history, Sesame Street has striven to be not just entertainment, but also a tool to teach children. And many times over, it has tried to teach them that Donald Trump is the king of the trash people.

The first time we encounter Sesame‘s Trump is in ’88, as a grouch named Ronald Grump. Grump is trying to con fellow grouch Oscar into letting him build a three-trash-can-high Grump Tower on his spot in return for a “duplex can-dominium.” Oscar simply adores Grump at first, because he exemplifies grouch values, as “his name is on every piece of trash in town.” Grump is also grouch-famous for building “a swamp in a day,” a line so apt that the Sesame Street writers should get a retroactive Emmy for it.

“What about dumpsters?”

However, Grump immediately tries to evict Oscar for keeping pets in his fantastic, just the best tower. This forces all the Sesame Street residents to band together to buy Grump off with their garbage, making the first lesson most American kids learned about Donald Trump was that they need to pay him to go away before he ruins everything.

Donald Grump returns during the show’s 2005 parody of The Apprentice, in which lesser grouches are fighting for the privilege to assist Grump in peddling his trash all across town. After a series of pointless tasks, Elmo, whose hard work and positive attitude wins the day, immediately gets fired by Grump, who exclaims, “I can’t have a good helper! I got my reputation to think of.”

However, the Trump animosity really boiled over during the Street‘s 25th anniversary show in 1993. The entire special episode revolves around the residents of Sesame Street fighting Grump (this time expertly portrayed by human forehead vein Joe Pesci), who’s trying to convert the entire block into a garish Grump Tower. At first he sweetly attempts to convince them that having their street become an overpriced boutique is a good thing. But when the residents don’t agree, Grump starts threatening Muppets like they’re in Goodfellas.

Fortunately, Grump’s plans fall apart because Oscar and his trash heap (which are on city property) keep Grump from selling a single condo. Furious, he rips up his plans and screams that Sesame Street didn’t deserve a Grump Tower anyway. So that’s charm, bully, and now abandonment. If the show had ended with Grump taking Oscar to court for loss of potential revenue, Sesame Street would have achieved the quadfecta of the Trump negotiation style long before Nancy Pelosi coined it.

Since he became president, Trump has not been shy about his desire to gut PBS, the public station that was home to Sesame Street until 2016. We can’t help but think that Ronald Grump has something to do with that.

Cedric will never stop politicizing Muppets. The best way to boycott his leftist agenda is by following him on Twitter but then never interacting with him in any shape or form. That’ll show him.

Why should you have to deal with the Trump presidency alone? Make your cats miserable too with this Donald Trump cat costume.

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When you dress in two goods the exact same color, make sure that the hues are a excellent or near-perfect match. By way of example, do not use a deep blue tshirt using a midnight glowing blue kind of trousers. Though they both are blue, it does not appearance also created because it will have if both pieces were actually a similar colour.

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The basic black colored outfit is important for virtually any woman s wardrobe. You can wear this dress for relaxed functions by adding accessories it with a pair of cozy pumping systems. Try on some a similar attire for any much more professional situation when you create your hair and accessorize using a pearl diamond necklace and earrings.

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Since you now know on how to improve your picture you should begin to sense self-confident about you once more. Lots of people don t recognize the necessity of setting up an effective impression by themselves, and they also proceed through existence never ever pursuing fashion trends. However you are able to show individuals you realize great fashion following today.

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Are you presently looking to change your physical appearance? Has style been something you happen to be contemplating however haven t got enough time to have downward? Effectively your search is over, this information is in this article that you can work out how it is possible to improve your picture via fashion.

Should you be not very tall, you should be cautious about wearing sweaters that are very long. When you may not would like to wear a thing that is really simple that it is similar to a cropped top, sporting something with too much size is only going to get you to seem to be much reduced than you truly are.

When you dress in two goods the exact same color, make sure that the hues are a excellent or near-perfect match. By way of example, do not use a deep blue tshirt using a midnight glowing blue kind of trousers. Though they both are blue, it does not appearance also created because it will have if both pieces were actually a similar colour.

The best time to apply entire body moisturizer is straight as soon as you shower area. Make use of it prior to deciding to dried out away from, or after a carefully soft towel drying out. This helps to fasten the humidity from the shower in your skin area, increasing some great benefits of the cream. It will demand that you use less of the item.

How to implement your make-up is determined by where you are proceeding. By way of example, if you are going to have an meet with, keep your cosmetics hunting normal and emphasize your very best function. For example, when you have gorgeous eyeballs, wear a gentle color that increases the color of the eyes. In case your very best function is your cheekbones, include a little coloration for the apple of the cheeks.

The basic black colored outfit is important for virtually any woman s wardrobe. You can wear this dress for relaxed functions by adding accessories it with a pair of cozy pumping systems. Try on some a similar attire for any much more professional situation when you create your hair and accessorize using a pearl diamond necklace and earrings.

When contemplating style for yourself, make sure to consider which kind of slashes seem very best on your physique. This is significant seeing as there are significantly various system sorts, and a number of slices appear better on some as opposed to others. Discover a thing that accentuates the best capabilities and making you feel relaxed.

Many individuals do not learn how to dress in a shirt properly, and it also means they are seem silly. If you are going to sport activity a shirt, you must wear it correctly to check excellent. You must always remember that the bottom key about the jacket is just not intended to be buttoned. This can prevent you from committing a fashion mix up.

Since you now know on how to improve your picture you should begin to sense self-confident about you once more. Lots of people don t recognize the necessity of setting up an effective impression by themselves, and they also proceed through existence never ever pursuing fashion trends. However you are able to show individuals you realize great fashion following today.

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The 6 Most WTF Hollywood Depictions Of Donald Trump

Before he became the inciting incident in the post-apocalyptic thriller that is our age, Donald Trump spent most of his life cultivating the image of a disgustingly wealthy businessman and cameo-worthy celebrity. He was the rich bully of his time, inspiring many movies and TV shows to feature barely fictionalized versions of him as villainous characters meant to symbolize the greed and cynicism of 1980s capitalism. Interestingly, none of the following examples ever went so far as to imagine a future in which this character would become president.

6

A Trumpian New York City Developer Starts A Hate Campaign Against The Ninja Turtles

It was only a matter of time before the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles squared off against the most quintessential of all New York City foes: rising property values.

In the fourth season of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show, the Turtles are beleaguered by real estate magnate and rotund blowhard Fenton Q. Hackenbrush, who runs the not so subtly named Donald J. Lofty Enterprises. Hackenbrush wants to demolish the sewers completely and turn them into Donald J. Lofty luxury condos. For that, he needs the Turtles to disappear. (If Hackenbrush is anything like the real Trump, he probably thinks the Turtles are the wrong color to live in one of his buildings.)

In an interview with April O’Neil, Hackenbrush sells his greedy plans to the public on the basis that his sewer reconstruction will “flush out the worst menace in the city: the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” Of course, the people of New York don’t have any problems with the Turtles, so Hackenbrush forces a group of employees to dress up in those bad Turtle Halloween costumes we all used to wear and go commit crimes.

Then an evil turtle named Slash arrives in the city, and Hackenbrush immediately mocks him as “some kind of foreigner,” but then bribes him into sowing mayhem, fanning the flames of turtle racism.

Hackenbrush is eventually exposed by some ace reporting by O’Neil (New York Times, pay attention). As punishment, he is loudly fired by the actual owner of the company, Mr. Lofty — who looks surprisingly a lot like Fred Trump, Donald’s father. We’re not saying TMNT intentionally created a world in which Fred Trump would repeatedly yell “You’re fired” at his heir, but that’s immediately the best Trump origin story we’ve ever heard.

5

The Devil’s Advocate Features A Rich Murderer Who Owns Trump Tower

In The Devil’s Advocate, Al Pacino is the titular Devil (not a spoiler; you don’t cast Pacino in a movie about Satan and make him the lovable dad), who has set up a law firm in New York in order to subvert justice and release evil into society. And who is Satan’s favorite client? The guy who lives atop Trump Tower.

Though it is slightly inaccurate, since he never claims to have the best murders ever, just fantastic.

Alexander Cullen, played by a suitably balding Craig T. Nelson, is a Trump-esque real estate mogul accused of murdering his wife, stepson, and maid — dire straits for a guy based on someone who once bragged he could shoot a person in the middle of the street and get away with it. His arrest immediately prompts Pacino’s law firm of Fire, Brimstone & Ham to send their new ace attorney, Kevin Lomax (Keanu Reeves wearing his dad’s suit), to defend Cullen. Why? Because, oddly, he’s Lucifer’s best client, having racked up “16,242” billable hours in one year. That’s a lot of shady business.

Warner Bros. Pictures 1.85 years of shady business, to be exact.

But being a hated New York business tycoon and employing a massive team of evil lawyers doesn’t necessarily mean Cullen is a Trump clone, right? Luckily, for the sake of subtlety, when we finally arrive at Cullen’s home, we see that it’s literally Trump’s apartment in Trump Tower. The filmmakers managed to rent it out, preserving its natural appearance as Liberace’s mind palace.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures “Try not to touch anything — you’ll get metal poisoning.”

In the end, Cullen is found not guilty, despite Lomax knowing that he murdered those people, thereby finally giving in to his true nature as the son of Satan. That’s right, the Devil’s son loses his innocence by defending Trump. Burn.

4

A Sci-Fi TV Show Villain Morphs Into Donald Trump … Played By Donald Trump

Night Man was a late ’90s low-budget TV show based on the Malibu Comics series about a San Franciscan saxophone player who can sense evil and wears a laser eye. Despite that, it somehow managed to run for two seasons, possibly because of its reliance on magnificently bizarre cameos — none of which were more utterly mystifying than Donald J. Trump in technically the only real acting credit to his name.

In this episode, Night Man is chasing a face-changing villain called Face to Face, who decides to engage in some quick identity theft to make a large withdrawal from the bank. Who better to transform into than the self-proclaimed richest man in the universe, Donald Trump? (No really, please suggest someone better.) In one of the most perfect sequences in the history of the medium, Face to Face slowly morphs into The Donald, dazzling audiences with peak mid ’90s CGI while simultaneously reinforcing the idea that Trumps looks like a melting Claire Danes.

Donald Trump — remember, this is the real Donald Trump playing a man who has shapeshifted into Donald Trump — walks into a delightfully green-screened bank, and then sits down with the bank manager to illegally withdraw $10,000. Sadly, the nuanced layers of a real man pretending to be a fake man pretending to be him do not translate to Trump’s performance:

Could they not find a real bank that would allow Trump to walk in?

Weirdly, in his utter boredom and bad acting, something spectacular happens: Trump seems … nice. He’s subdued, polite, even charming. It seems that all you need to do to make Trump likable is carefully control what he says and make sure he’s not physically in the same room with any human beings.

3

A Disney Show Paired Donald Trump With A Dead Pirate

Before Disney found a way to become rich off Johnny Depp wearing a lot of eyeliner, it first got its pirate feet wet with The 100 Lives Of Black Jack Savage, a lighthearted romp wherein the undead spirit of a mass murderer teams up with a fictional Donald Trump analogue to save both of their souls from burning forever in hell.

Luckily, Disney would never reuse “Jack Savage,” or his ship the Black Bird, or anything like it ever again.

When Daniel Tarberry, a rich real estate mogul from New York, has to flee the country because of legal troubles, he buys a luxurious Caribbean mansion to lie low in, but doing so summons the ghost of Black Jack Savage, who was hanged on the island for his crimes. The two are now forced to save the lives of 100 people in order to save themselves from eternal damnation.

Tarberry is a greedy shark who insists on hanging a portrait of himself in every hotel room he owns and constantly tries to weasel out of paying his contractors a dime. He’s not very respectful to women, referring to every lady who talks back to him as “the poster girl for PMS.” He’s also a straight up racist, first assuming Black Jack is his cabin boy, then loudly exclaiming that he wants to change all the locks because he “found a black man in my kitchen.”

The writers had intended to start Tarberry off as a real piece of Trump, only to eventually learn from his mistakes and become a better man. He even occasionally refrains from treating Black Jack like some weird Jim Crow genie.

But the show never got to the redemption part, as the network pulled it after only seven poorly rated episodes. Believing that people are interested in seeing a Trump redemption story might have been the most misjudged part of The 100 Lives Of Black Jack Savage — a Disney show that opens with a black man being lynched.

2

Gremlins 2 Had Trump Fight Gremlins

Nobody really expected Gremlins to get a sequel, especially not its creators. And when it did, no one could have predicted that the real villain wouldn’t be gremlins, but the world’s most notorious New York City mogul.

Director Joe Dante wanted to have the Gremlins run amok in a fancy New York skyscraper. But the movie still needed a villain, a rich guy so obnoxious that audiences wouldn’t feel bad about watching midnight demons tear him several new assholes. And then it hit Dante: “At that time in New York City, there was one major character who was Mr. Billion.”

At the time, Trump was known for being “overbearing and obviously kind of goofy,” said the film’s writer, Charles S. Haas. “He was an emblem of what was going on in the ’80s and ’90s with greed and money and crassness, and [the idea of] the whole world being for sale.” And so they created powerful millionaire Daniel Clamp, a Trumpian mogul (with a dash of Ted Turner) who also happens to be running violent animal experiments in his tower Clamp Center.

Actor John Glover modeled his performance of Clamp on the director, whom he saw as “incredibly gentle, supporting and encouraging,” rather than on Trump, which is why Clamp can say weirdly racist nonsense like “Let’s lose the elm trees. People see elm, they think Dutch. [pause] Disease” and still sound like a swell boss. It’s also why we unreservedly root for Clamp when he shoves a Gremlin into a paper shredder.

And also because he seems to be the only one who realizes gremlins aren’t that difficult to kill.

Consequently, Gremlins 2: The New Batch offers a peek at an alternate universe in which Nice Trump helps us fight small-minded rage goblins, as opposed to the universe we live in, where those goblins got him elected president.

1

Sesame Street Thinks Donald Trump Is Garbage

Over its nearly 50-year history, Sesame Street has striven to be not just entertainment, but also a tool to teach children. And many times over, it has tried to teach them that Donald Trump is the king of the trash people.

The first time we encounter Sesame‘s Trump is in ’88, as a grouch named Ronald Grump. Grump is trying to con fellow grouch Oscar into letting him build a three-trash-can-high Grump Tower on his spot in return for a “duplex can-dominium.” Oscar simply adores Grump at first, because he exemplifies grouch values, as “his name is on every piece of trash in town.” Grump is also grouch-famous for building “a swamp in a day,” a line so apt that the Sesame Street writers should get a retroactive Emmy for it.

“What about dumpsters?”

However, Grump immediately tries to evict Oscar for keeping pets in his fantastic, just the best tower. This forces all the Sesame Street residents to band together to buy Grump off with their garbage, making the first lesson most American kids learned about Donald Trump was that they need to pay him to go away before he ruins everything.

Donald Grump returns during the show’s 2005 parody of The Apprentice, in which lesser grouches are fighting for the privilege to assist Grump in peddling his trash all across town. After a series of pointless tasks, Elmo, whose hard work and positive attitude wins the day, immediately gets fired by Grump, who exclaims, “I can’t have a good helper! I got my reputation to think of.”

However, the Trump animosity really boiled over during the Street‘s 25th anniversary show in 1993. The entire special episode revolves around the residents of Sesame Street fighting Grump (this time expertly portrayed by human forehead vein Joe Pesci), who’s trying to convert the entire block into a garish Grump Tower. At first he sweetly attempts to convince them that having their street become an overpriced boutique is a good thing. But when the residents don’t agree, Grump starts threatening Muppets like they’re in Goodfellas.

Fortunately, Grump’s plans fall apart because Oscar and his trash heap (which are on city property) keep Grump from selling a single condo. Furious, he rips up his plans and screams that Sesame Street didn’t deserve a Grump Tower anyway. So that’s charm, bully, and now abandonment. If the show had ended with Grump taking Oscar to court for loss of potential revenue, Sesame Street would have achieved the quadfecta of the Trump negotiation style long before Nancy Pelosi coined it.

Since he became president, Trump has not been shy about his desire to gut PBS, the public station that was home to Sesame Street until 2016. We can’t help but think that Ronald Grump has something to do with that.

Cedric will never stop politicizing Muppets. The best way to boycott his leftist agenda is by following him on Twitter but then never interacting with him in any shape or form. That’ll show him.

Why should you have to deal with the Trump presidency alone? Make your cats miserable too with this Donald Trump cat costume.

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