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#it is so easy to make Lupin likable just don't have him threaten to rape anyone it's just so easy
giantkillerjack · 2 years
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Yo the writing in this movie is weak as shit
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Like, the animation looks good and there are some fun segments, but why is the writing so fucking WEAK???
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This is fuckin' embarrassing.
41 years since Miyazaki's Castle of Cagliostro established Lupin could be likeable, and you have somehow made a movie in which Lupin threatens a girl with sexual assault and then also there is a sympathetic Nazi character?????
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And! AND! what is this shit?? What is this utter laziness??? EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THIS NOTHING-ASS PLAIN WHITE BREAD CHARACTER DESIGN IS NOT JUST ANNA FROM FROZEN??? EXPLAIN IT TO ME.
And she's next to the Lupin characters, who are so dynamic and alive! She looks like an unfinished 3D model base this is nothing.
And, more importantly, will someone please explain to me why this horrendously-written character is present for the climax instead of anyone in the Lupin gang???
Like, let me be absolutely fucking clear: All this girl actually does in the movie is nearly cause a second Holocaust. Literally, her actions are the thing that allows the Third Reich to nearly regain power. That is the only thing she actually succeeds in. She fails at every other thing she tries to do!
And I don't care that she feels bad about it! I don't care that she did it accidentally! The fact is, this is literally the only impact the writers gave her in the story! The only explicitly Jewish character that survives the movie! They just! Didn't catch the optics on that, I guess! They don't give her something heroic to do later in the film that has any tangible weight to it, either! The old Nazi character does that! They just plum forgot about Laetitia I guess! Too bad she takes up 60% of the screentime in this film!
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I mean, this movie starts with a Nazi shooting a Jewish man in the head, and then that Nazi raises that man's granddaughter as his own in order to trick her into doing Nazi shit for him. In the first scene he interacts with her in a parental capacity, it is clear that she fears being beaten by his metal cane. That Nazi then goes on to be framed in a sympathetic and undeniably warm light by the film. He actually does more for the good guys than Laetitia does! His death is given way more weight than the Jewish character he kills at the beginning.
Gods, this is shit. This is so fucking disrespectful.
I mean, if Laetitia was a golden retriever, the plot would have changed literally not at all.
In fact, it would have absolutely been an improvement because then her actions, characterization, and relationships with the other characters would have made sense. She would have been way more likeable too!
GENTLEMEN, If your female character could easily be replaced by a lamp, a prized possession, or a Pomeranian, then you have fucked up.
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"Arf! Arf arf! Grrrrrr!!!", "MANGY DOG!!"
And Laetitia is, no mistaking, the main character of this film. THIS film. You know? The film called Lupin that is supposed to be about Lupin except it's actually about the world's most generic girl reacting to Lupin??
And all this focus on Laetitia comes at the expense of time with the Lupin gang!
Fujiko has like 4 lines!
Goemon has like, 6!
No one in this movie has a character arc, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE LITERAL ABUSIVE-PARENT NAZI CHARACTER.
OOPSY DAISY.
Anyway, the main value of this movie is that Jigen is so so so so hot. But damn. I do think he could've still been hot in a non-shitty film. 🤔🤔🤔
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#lupin iii#lupin#original#lupin the third the first#lupin iii the first#hey! why does this suck so bad???#it is so easy to make Lupin likable just don't have him threaten to rape anyone it's just so easy#Mr Miyazaki managed to create a non-misogynistic Lupin in 1979!!! we have the technology! this movie came out in 2020! there's no excuse!#I guess she helps them get past those three trials when they're going to get the super weapon#but all that actually ends up doing is allowing the Nazis to take the super weapons so???#there's no reason one of the gang couldn't read ancient languages or pull out a translation dictionary. she didn't need to be there.#someone please tell me there's other good lupin iii content because Jesus Christ#my girlfriend pointed out that it seems as though the writers were trying to do a doctor who kind of thing#like what is it like to be a character that is helped by lupin and his gang?#the thing is you do still need a fucking character#archeology is not a character trait. you have to write your female characters with more than an inch of depth. fuck OFF#i hate this fucking character so much#and it is fully the fault of the writers. presumably men. if women wrote this movie i have no fucking idea what their problem was#there's a point where fujiko leaves Lupin in the hands of the bad guys. which would be pretty standard except they are literal nazis!!!#also fujiko definitely does do work for the Nazis. like it seems maybe she's trying to rip them off but it's not clear!#that should be clear!!!#also lupin is like 'you and i do what we do bc it's in our DNA! We can't help it!' and like. hm.#I mean that's weak on a good day but if your villains are Nazis it becomes a weird time to validate the concept of biological determinism
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