#it really feels like i'm a monster masquerading around haha. my shame seeps into everything i touch
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everything seems to be a trigger for my ocd and bpd at the moment :( the thought of even being known by another person is more than I can bear
#even making this post is agony for me - using tumblr is so hard. i constantly convince myself that i've messed up or done something evil#it really feels like i'm a monster masquerading around haha. my shame seeps into everything i touch#i need to try and overcome it and expose myself to things that cause me distress but Everything causes me distress. i'm not exaggerating!#i wish i could rot in bed and never be perceived again. it's all utter agony. i want to cry but i'm so drained i can't even do that#i feel so grateful towards people who have tagged me in things recently or interacted with me here. it means a lot#i really truly struggle with it - i am constantly on the verge of running away but i am trying#sea rambles
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