Just found out I could completely skip doing my final project in my film crit class and still pass with an A,,,, I'm not gonna do that because I actually like my professor but it's crazy how giving myself permission to purposefully write the shittiest paper I've ever written in my life with absolutely no consequences actually makes the assignment FUN
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captured by some kind of flurry of mania i wrote the entire script for a dan and phil video essay that is correct and doesn't suck this morning btw. I don't know if i'll ever make it. but i MIGHT.
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when MY PLANNNN changes due to FACTORS OUTSIDE MY CONTROLLLLLLLL im winning the eyeball twitching competition. no contest. the irrational anger with which i responded to the installation coordinators delaying our de-installation start date by two days is actually astounding. beautiful. i just had a three hour phone call with my mom the other day where she told me i was always bad at adapting to change since i was a wee one <3 so true. im sorry im sorry.... im trying to be better at it but quite frankly if u change the date that has been established for almost an entire year suddenly then i might actually kill you no offense. BECOZ I BUILT MY PLAN AROUND IT!!! I BUILT MY PLAN AROUND IT!!!! i shouldnt be this mad. oh my fuckin.... goddd.d... its ok its ok i will cool down. give me 3 hours minimum
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What's the storyline for your ocs?
nerdy straight A middle school student katherine quin and her pals realize that their government sucks ass and b/c they are impassioned naive youth, entangle themselves in a state of affairs that will stay w/them for the rest of their lives
more under the cut b/c i wrote a lot more than i thought i would kasfjksdfjksfj (i have big feelings abt this story)
i (officially) made the story when i was 14! all the characters are based off me and my experience 2 some extent (especially katherine i mean i made her bi, biracial, gave her a mole, made her like indie games etc). originally the story was going 2 have a happy ending, but as ive grown i have more of an appreciation for....well endings that are not so happy. im thinking i change it. it would make sense w/what happens in it anyway (the story of revolution is not as happy and triumphant as 11 year old me imagined when i first acted this out w/my brother. honestly like ive changed the story entirely 2 be my own but i still gotta thank my bro cuz the orig storyline that inspired it when we played legos 2gether was a conjoined effort and i borrowed many of the characters)! as im drafting it now, the story is not particularly happy lol
the story tells a sort of generational loop that katherine goes thru? if that makes sense? i wont go too much in depth b/c spoilers but its a story of history repeating itself again and again and the endless loops pain and suffering cause and how people are scared/too comfortable/too angry to change the cycle. i think that katherine being a history nerd in the midst of watching history unfold again before her very eyes grants her a certain point of view other characters dont have (except a few who have lived experiences). although this awareness will come later in the story when she's older
it will also touch on something young folks feel 2day where ppl frequently ask, "why is this happening today? havent we progressed?" and katherine will ponder that herself (although the situations that happen in the story are strictly to the story ajsfsjfd i cant talk abt and link real life tragedies it would be too much for me). and i think that as she gets older in the story and gains knowledge and wisdom from what she goes thru, she'll hafta bear this horrifying knowledge that the sands of time dont just erode the past, but the present and future as well.
i was not expecting 2 write this much KJSFKJSDJFKSJDF
anyway! i care this story a lot. its like my childhood and has grown with me as ive aged. im really compelled to make it the best it can be and i get a lot of imposter syndrome b/c i know the ideas i have and the story itself as a whole is good, but im worried my execution will fall flat. idk its kept me from moving forward w/it or talking abt it for years.
tldr; two can basically be summed up by this image:
are things going 2 get better? can they get better? questions i think about as i write and think thru this story.
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wrote my stupid essay and it sucks so bad, but it did remind me that i wanted to note that i told a ninth grader at church today that When I Was In College we had to take notes by hand and they wouldn't let us bring laptops into class, they made us do our in person finals on notebook paper in pen, and also yes i was an english major with a literature concentration so i was regularly taking 2-3 hour finals writing full essays with a ballpoint pen...the look on his face, i will cherish it forever. "how did you do that?!" he asked, his voice cracking. bro i don't know!! we just lived like that!! there are a lot of things that suck abt technology today but at least Kids These Days aren't wearing wrist braces to their lit classes just bc they have to take a 3 hour final for their shakespeare class and their professor is draconian about format
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