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#it’s been years since I’ve rlly thought abt hs but this year it’s been like a dream a week
cherrysnax · 1 year
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keep havin dreams abt hs, I think my brains looking for closure or sumn
#today it was graduation m#maybe this’ll be the end#this one was more based in truth#a very specific type of heartbreak#one that I was over like. a week after it happened but it happened nonetheless#and a different one#one for a friendship I coulda had (and did funnily enough) and another for friendships I coulda kept#it’s been years. I don’t get it#im a different person life has moved on#I don’t get it man#what closure do I want? that things would’ve been fine if I was fuckinh normal#I get that#I do the thing where I assume everyone hates me and then I dip#I get it: I know that I’m not a good person. I know that I probably hurt people in my attempts to hurt myself#I know that self isolating was a bad choice but it’s tucking over man. nothing was as black n white as ohhh all my friends hate me#they tried to like me man. I had issues and problems and did everyone else. the difference is they handled there’s and I couldn’t.#it’s been years since I’ve rlly thought abt hs but this year it’s been like a dream a week#is my brain trying to warn me that I’m regressing? I don’t think I will or can just dip#im happy. ive unlearned so many unhealthy things man: im doing so much better. I want to live and be happy and make friends and have a job#is it my brain urging me to talk to people? ehhh that ship has sailed. we r all differnt ppl and I never fit#I don’t want to have these dreams anymore. they were gone for a while but this one fucked me up and I woke up crying and idk why#these dreams keep circling back to a crush I had in hs but im unpacking now that I just wanted to be his friend. and I think he did too but#either to him or the friend group. both of the friend groups#I fucked up both just the second one slower because im a flake and a loser :)#reaching out is a bad idea because it’ll only serve me (and even then it wouldn’t) it would not do anything positive for anyone else and#people have grown so much and I am just a relic they probably try to ignore and I don’t blame them#no one’s thinking of me or losing any sleep over me so it’s okay to just be a memory and hope it’s more fond than anything else#man. I wonder if it’s because I’m so convinced I’m gonna die this year
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kimjoongs-main · 5 years
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50 questions tag
tagged by: @jenuminous (ty bby ily)
tagging: @kimyeongues @linosgf @cheonsajaemin @hyuckiebabyy @bitchendery @moonblssm
1. what takes up too much of your time?
—hmmm probably sleeping, facetiming my friends, writing, reading webtoons, watching stuff on youtube etc
2. what makes your day better?
—that thing parents do when they cut up fruit for you and give you some :( my dad always cuta up watermelon for me whenever i’m stressed out
3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today?
—my cousin and i went out and had a girl’s day, we went to the mall, got our nails done, and just had a great time
4. what fictional place would you like to go to ?
—any place that gives you powers basically, so like bnha for example, or this webtoon i started reading called unordinary
5. are you good at giving advice ?
—it depends on the situation but generally i...guess so??
6. do you have a mental illness?
—hah
7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis ?
—nope and *knocks on wood* i hope i never have to
8. what musician inspires you the most?
—cl, i just...love her
9. have you ever fallen in love ?
—yes
10. what’s your dream date?
—stargazing hands down
11. what do others notice about you ?
—the first thing people usually point out is my height sjdjdjs :’)) i’m tiny tiny
12. what’s an annoying habit you have?
—i tend to comb my hair back when i’m stressed out or nervous and it makes my hair all tangled
13. do you still talk to your first love ?
—yupyup
14. how many exes do you have?
—none
15. how many songs are in your playlist ?
—i have so many playlists for different moods shdjd, but the number of songs on my phone is around 200
16. what instruments can you play?
—i used to be able to play the violin but i stopped
17. what do you have the most pictures of ?
—my three friends, jaemin heh, and as of right now my godson
18. where would you like to go before you die?
—thailand
19. what’s your zodiac ?
—cap sun, pisces moon/rising
20. do you relate to it?
—i relate to cap sun and pisces moon sometimes, not so much my rising tho
21. what’s happiness to you?
—feeling nothing but joy, having a hard time keeping a smile off my face
22. are you going through anything right now ?
—well.....
23. what’s the worst decision you ever made?
—taking ap chem JSJDJDJS
24. what’s your favorite store?
—ooohooohho there’s this cute store i found in the mall at the philippines, i forgot the name but it was something like papemelroti?? but it had these cute little trinkets and stuff for scrapbooking and omg i fell in love
25. what’s your opinion about abortion ?
—woman’s body -> her choice, that’s all i’m saying abt this
26. do you keep a bucket list ?
—i used to when i was 10, but nah
27. do you have a favorite album?
—any album by journey
28. what do you want for your birthday ?
—ummmm money ig?? or maybe a new backpack bc they always break halfway thru the year
29. what are people’s first impressions of you?
—people usually say i’m rlly quiet when they first meet me, and they’re not wrong
30. what age do you seem according to most people ?
—it depends, someone thought i was in college when i was like 16, and someone else thought i was a hs freshman when i was a senior lol
31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?
—charging on the desk next to my bed
32. what word do you say the most ?
—what, oh, or just keyboard smashes
33. what’s the oldest age you would date?
—19
34. what’s the youngest you would date ?
—idk if i would???
35. what job/career would most people say suit you?
—a teacher, but as much as i love kids i don’t think i could handle teaching them
36. what’s your favorite music genre ?
—mmm i’ve been really into indie lately
37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?
—not sure, but probably the philippines since i’m from there and i know the language well enough
38. what is your current favorite song ?
—symmetry by jt roach and emily warren, it’s so calming
39. how long have you had this blog for?
—a little over a year now, but i’ve been on tumblr for around 3-4 years
40. what are you excited for ?
—my fam and i are going to a resort tmr and i looked it up and it’s so pretty:((
41. are you a better talker or listener?
—depends on the person, there’s some people who i talk w more, and there’s some people who i just sit and listen to more
42. what was the last productive thing you did ?
—i did the laundry this morning, sweeped the apartment
43. what do you want for Christmas?
—again probably money or a new backpack
44. what class do you get the best grades in ?
—math and bio
45. on a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?
—8.5
46. what can you see yourself doing in ten years ?
—probably being a nurse or traveling
47. when did you get your first heartbreak?
—when my fav teacher revealed to our class abt what she was going thru, it really hurt me to see her so upset
48. what age do you want to get married ?
—in my 30s maybe
49. what career did you want to have as a child?
—i really wanted to be a photographer at one point, but other than that it’s always been a nurse
50. what do you crave right now ?
—sushi, there’s a sushi place a mile from my apartment and im debating whether or not i should go skfkd
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felinenthusiast · 6 years
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1,2,5,6, 20-30
Oh boy that’s a lot! But Ty 💕
1. Do you have a chum handle? What does it mean?
I don’t actually! But I have my trollsona who I’ll probably make one for at some point which would be mine by extension since she’s just be but grey with nicer hair pfh
2. Is your username homestuck related/have you had one hs related?
Hmmmm I WONDER.
I mean obviously I have the Roxy Lalonde branding™
Since this account it’s always been HS related (specifically to Roxy), I went rox-lal to rox-lalonde and then the person with the roxylalondes URL was nice enough to give it to me!!!
5. Are you “kin” with any characters or commonly called a character?
Nah I’m not kin, though I do relate to Roxy and Terezi, but I just don’t feel that kind of connection I feel ‘kin’ denotes (but ofc I don’t dislike kin, you guys are sweet) and ye I’ve been called Roxy before which I’m cool with since it’s My Brand™
6. God Tier?
Knight of Heart 💗
I’ve thought that for a while, and when the canon quiz came out it was like 'Yeah you’re heart for sure’
20. Tell us how homestuck has effected you in real life?
Hmm well it made my friends annoyed at me briefly when I first go in to it! Fkjsjdn but they’re not like that anymore don’t worry my friends who I actually keep close nowadays aren’t a-holes.
Honestly while HS is super important to me I can’t pinpoint much 'affected me in real life’ things! I have cosplayed and met other HSs irl briefly which was rlly cool!
21. Have you met anyone through homestuck?
Yeah ppl on Tumblr and a lot of my video editor friends 💕
22. Have you left the fandom before?
Nope! I’m afraid the fandom’s stuck with me.
23. How many times have you read through it?
Hmmmm 3? I think? I’ve tried to reread it a bit more than that but have ended up stopping. I haven’t read it through in a while, actually, maybe when I’m less busy I’ll go for another reread!
24. Did you ever skip intermissions/dialog/animations?
NOPE. I didn’t rlly understand the midnight crew intermission the first time but I didn’t skip it even if I was confused.
25. Opinions on the fandom?
Mostly a nice place nowadays! There’s still some areas I’m not fond of but for the most part I think despite the reputation homestucks had gained over the years, the current fandom is very pleasant?
26. Opinions on the comic?
Ilove it sm and there will never be anything like it again!!!
Could have had a better ending, I honestly think just adding a walk around where you can change characters and talk to ppl before act 8 would have improved shit sm! But if Hussie is rlly serious abt a possible epilogue, I think that could iron out a lot of my issues
27. Do you favor the trolls, humans, or carapaces?
TROLLS! like not all of them but I do just enjoy the alternia alien shit! Tho I do love the humans (esp Lalondes) and also the carapaces (the midnight crew cracks me up)
28. Favorite moment of all of homestuck?
FUCK! Uhh the Terezi and Vriska moments in [S] remember??? ❤️💓💔💕💖💗💞❣️💝💟
29. Least favorite moment of all of homestuck?
The whole Gamzee and Terezi kismesistude arc honestly! But more specifically on lofaf when he hurts her and also kills karkat and game over ):
30. Tell us a homestuck based story.
Okay, I have 2 short ones, cus I don’t have any long funny ones, and now they probably sound made up but I swear these are true
Once while I was in Terezi cosplay, in the middle of a con, I was yknow just eating my panini in Costa for lunch and a server came up next to me and whispered 'Vriska was better’ I was fucking reeling. I turned around and was like, 'i love both Scourge sisters equally!!!’
Another time at dnd club (yes, I have great hobbies!) I heard someone mention taz, which yknow the venn diagram for fans of it and homestuck is a circle!! Anyways someone mentioned taz and I was like 'hhhello’ and they just said to me, 'of course you like taz, you’re wearing a homestuck hoodie’ and I was just embarrassed at how predictable I was.
Both these stories give off similar energy fjdk
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transbcyfriend · 6 years
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Every Question >:3
well Shit ig now bc i’m Required By Law to answer these i gotta
1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
yes – and god am i grateful.
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
i mean i’m 18 so uhhhhhhhhh yeah
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
…yesterday? the day before?
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
i do it all the time at work so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
i wouldn’t say mad.
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
too many to count!
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
a legend of zelda hoodie and a wild patterned set of lounge pants from pink republic. i haven’t changed in several days i’m uh Sick
8. How often do you listen to music?
if i don’t do it every single day it’s scientifically proven i’ll shrivel up and die
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
jeans. jeans definitely.
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?
it did at the time, and not for the better. fuck that shit
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
mmMMMMMmMMM depends on the situation?? if i’m like clocked in at work, if i’m somewhere i actively enjoy, or on The Web™, i’m social, but otherwise i don’t rlly interact with ppl hnfngnf
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?
not yet.
13. What about ‘R’?
nope!
14. Can you drive a stick shift?
can i get a FUCK NO
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
depends on the person. someone i’m close to and like? yes. someone who i’m not close to and dislike? nah.
16. Are you going out of town soon?
nope.
17. When was the last time you cried?
mmmmMMMMMM a few days ago? few days ago.
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
yes.
19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
HMMMM y’know i don’t think i would, mine are like ?? hazel and ppl make comments abt them being diff colors n shit in certain lights sometimes and i Like That so
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
in fact, yes! i would uh Die For Him
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
i’m sick and can’t breathe
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
YOU KNOW I BE ON THAT GAY SHIT !!!!!
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
nope
24. What are you sitting on right now?
a wooden chair
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
yep!
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
oh yeah. god yeah.
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
@lazybones25 
28. Do you get a lot of colds?
no, not rlly. last time i got sick was … sophmore year of hs? junior year? i don’t remember.
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
it was a gift from my buddy bri
30. Does anyone hate you?
there’s at least one i can think of off the top of my head, soooooo yeah
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
noooo, me? drink? me, a consumer of alcohol. ur pullin’ my leg, i don’t drink
32. Do you like watching scary movies?
i’m just Meh on it bc most movies nowadays are so played out and predictable that they’re just not scary to me
33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
kinda, yeah. it’s an on/off want, still deciding.
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
just one? fuck. any of the years between being 13-16.
35. Did you have a dream last night?
actually i did! i had a dream i lost my job bc one of my managers was in a bad mood and was basically like “well u should’ve thought more abt your career than ur education, ur fired since u wanna go 2 college, can’t change ur hours”
36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
few hours ago.
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
mmmm … unlikely.
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
yep.
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
i’d hope so! don’t gotta be, but it’d be cute and i’d Like That
40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
it was ok – i spiraled into being sick, but it was ok
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
yeah
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
unlikely.
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
yep.
44. What’s the best part about school?
mmm mM MM prolly just making friends w/ ppl in ur classes. that, and just how chill the professors are. 
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
fun fact – i don’t have a facebook.
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
fuck yeah my guy
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
way too often
48. Were you single over the last summer?
nope.
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
absolutely not and god i’m rlly happy abt that
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
looking when college classes start again but i Don’t Wanna
51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
i’d be lying to ur face if i said yes
52. Are you nice to everyone?
i try to be – some ppl tho, i just. can’t. there’s reasonable salt.
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
yep!
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
i’ve done it before, i don’t see why not.
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
when the situation calls for it, i’d like to think so
56. Do you think you like someone?
mhmm
57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?
…… y’know i don’t think i have! that’s surprising i’ve kissed a lotta ppl
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
tbh p much the only ppl i tend to never rlly make friends with are cis guys. there’s rare exceptions, but the vast majority of my buddies are either cis girls or trans/nonbinary/etc.
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?
yep – a few of them. not many, but a few.
60. Do you hate anyone?
i wouldn’t say hate, but there’s a couple of ppl i severely dislike.
61. How’s your heart?
atm? better. better than usual, i’m rlly glad abt that
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
anytime from being 12-17
63. Have you ever cried over a guy?
yeah.
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
i ain’t gonna say names buuuuuuut Someone I Know
65. Are your toenails painted pink?
they’re painted a dark wine red actually, i uh got bored
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
best decision of my life, if anything
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
from my own Personal Experience, kinda? i mean every person i’ve been w/ kinda likes it bc it’s like, i’m letting my walls down and letting them in, so i mean ig
68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
thankfully no!
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
@lazybones25
70. How do you look right now?
surprisingly decent for feeling icky
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
just two – but i’m content w/ that.
72. Can you commit to one person?
under the right circumstances, ya – otherwise i gotta dip
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
my roommate @stasiroowho
74. Have you ever felt replaced?
can i get a Hell Yeah and It Hurts
75. Did you wake up cranky?
no, i just woke up wanting attention and feeling Blah
76. Are you a jealous person?
hhMHMhmMMHMHM depends ?? ? ? if we’re talking from a relationship perspective, like i don’t give a shit if the other person wants to like, make a shitton of buddies and like actually Have A Life, that’s good, but when it comes to like, romance specifically? then i’m just. m i n e
77. Are relationships ever worth it?
very rarely, but some are and god is it so fucking satisfying in every aspect
78. Anyone you’re giving up on?
yeah.
79. Currently wanting to see anyone?
can i get a HOOYAHHHH
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
go to the apartment and uh Feed Cats
81. Last person you cried in front of?
do i rlly gotta @ my homeboi ash a 3rd time
82. Is there someone you will never forget?
in a good way or a bad way?
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
yeee – in a good way tho
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
probably either just chillin’ watching netflix and eating chips/popcorn, or gettin’ heated while also shotgunning that good good
85. Are you over your past?
CAN I GET A FUCK NO
86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
yeah
87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
just two! and two’s a good number, i’m happy w/ that.
88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
i’d immediately murder him on the spot. i’d still take the gifts off his corpse tho bc hey Free Shit
89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
ya – i do trust that one, he made me breakfast one time so i wouldn’t burn my own house down, he a tru homie
90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
uuuhhhhhhh-huh
91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
highly likely
92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
i used to! he was the Popular Kid™ back in high school, who fuckin’ knows where he’s at now
93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?
when i was like 4, yeah, we were each other’s childhood crush so uh shrugs
94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?
nope! things were getting heavy, but no relationship yet.
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?
absolutely.
96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
hmmmmmmmmaybe
97. Who do you have texts from?
in general? my mom, ash, 3 coworkers, one of my managers, my one tru buddy from the womb @infinitelycastiel, and my buddy lynette.
98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
i mean ?? i’d b upset, i’d b depressed, i’d b a lil torn up abt it, but i ain’t gonna stop whatever happens from happening. not my choice to
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
ya – not too much older, but ya
100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
AAAAAAAALL BY MY, SEEEEEEEEEE-EEEE-EEEEEEEEELF
101. Ever kissed under fireworks?
fun fact: no
102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
yEP
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