#it's almost 2am i should be sleeping rn not saving something from my drafts

[lostparadise-mp3]

KAEYA !!! — silly headcanons.

okay i haven't played the kaeya hangout yet BUT now that more people are on the same page as kaeya stans are, i want to talk about him again (this is just an excuse to project on kaeya and to add more headcanons about him).

note: i also haven't played cariberto. i am indeed behind on the story. not sure if it could have something to do with my hcs but just in case, i get a little anxious whenever i post anything. note 2: i already played cariberto, i've caught up with the story, but i get anxious about posting anything anyway.

silent lover that also wants to be loud about his love for you - he wants to do both !! and over time, he achieves that !!! hugs and kisses behind closed doors, whispering sweet nothings, stolen glances, tangled hands under the table, letters left on your bedside (modern au or not doesn't matter, he would leave notes or letters either way), that's his way of silently loving.

he's a passionate but soft lover. he wants to scream and announce the world his love for you, and he does, somehow, by telling his loved ones about his new special one. long chatty nights, whether at home or the city streets, whether at a park or sitting on the sidewalk, just... talking with you, listening to your voice, to your thoughts, and also, being heard and seen.

gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, in that order. he's probably got it all five. i believe with all my heart that letters gather the holy trinity: gift giving, words of affirmation, and acts of service. i really think that, in a relationship with kaeya, he would love giving and receiving letters. he loves doing gifts, and he loves to tell you the sweetest of things. he wants to be close both physically and emotionally, even if the latter is hard to achieve for him- or both of you. it is something he yearns no matter how much he doesn't want to admit it.

maybe he can be a bit too cheesy. old fashioned lover boy, am i right? flowers for every ocassion: month-versary, birthdays, casual dates, “i saw this tiny one growing on the sidewalk and it reminded me of you” flowers, you name it. you should start drying the flowers he gives you if you haven't already. press them in a book, he will grin and slightly blush if he ever finds those.

the type to give you his jacket when it's too cold, the type to take your hands in his trying to warm them up, even though his hands are colder and now you're both laughing because of the freezed hands. hey, at least he made you laugh.

he may not be interested in long-term relationships (i am a strong believer that he is tho, btw) but he sure is interested in commitment. he may not be the first one to fall, but he sure falls harder- and if you are the one to fall harder... well, he will try to surpass that. he believes that relationships are 60-40 and each party works —and perhaps compete— to be that 60. i think he must have fooled around in his late teens and early twenties, but now that he's older he just wants a warm love, someone who can joke around with him and also hold his hand with care.

he prefers tea over coffee. it's a made up fact i choose to believe now. and maybe, just maybe, he likes to look “tough” by drinking coffee more often than tea. of course, nothing beats a good cup of wine after a nice meal.

he's an emotional drunk. he gets flashbacks of the things he would never talk about- things he would rather bury deeper in his memory, he stares with lost gaze while holding his drink at the tavern. he never cries not even once, but he seems so quiet and gloomy. he plays it as cool as he can, pretending to be the bubbly drunk, the playful one.

he longs for a family, and he knows he's found one he can hold close and dearly, but of course, he fears losing another family. he fears getting too close so he hides certain things of himself. he dreams of marriage, and maybe, if you want, adopting a child (definitely adoption because he also is afraid of sharing the blood of “the sinners”), altough he fears fatherhood as well. he fears fucking up and he fears not being able to be there for his child and most specially, he fears messing up things with you and the child you two wanted to raise together. so those are dreams, just dreams. good dreams, even.

now, getting more specific (i already said this in my first batch of kaeya headcanons lol), a demirose/demian icon. demisexual demiromantic. i think he went trough the “bi/pan to aroace” pipeline (shotout to my aroace siblings that went trough something like this !! hope you can relate), though his experience got a bit different. sure, boy's demirose, and he holds little to no preference on who he gets attracted to after that bond forms, so he doesn't put a label on that. i like to think he knows what being demirose means but he doesn't use that label a lot neither. he likes to chill, you know?

he falls slowly and has a hard time opening up even though he so much desires to do so.

ah, being demirose doesn't stop him from finding people pretty, of course. he has a thing for long hair, but if he sees a girl with short hair? he finds that very attractive too. so, long hair and strong arms. getting a bit more suggestive maybe by saying he would adore his partner's body no matter what it looks like. whether you're tall or short, slim or chubby, no muscle or a lot of muscle, hip dips or big thighs, crooked nose or crooked teeth, moles, scars... oh, sunshine, are you listing flaws or his favorite things? he would love to snuggle against you once he's warmed up to you. that means, cuddling sessions from time to time. take a nap with him, be the big spoon and he will try to hide his flushed cheeks. he doesn't like to admit it often, but his heart melts when he is held. so... hold him thight, hold him close, whisper an “i love you” and he will give you the dumbest of smiles, all head over heels for you.

another thing i wrote before is that, if you're shorter than him, he would like to tease you for that in subtle ways. he would stretch his back when walking beside you. he tends to slouch when nobody sees him, but at the sight of you he straightens up immediately, almost like someone's poking him to do so.

he is contradictory. he wants to be close, to be vulnerable, to be open and honest, but he fears being rejected, he is uncomfortable with intimacy and vulnerability, he shuts himself when he feels like he got too close to you. how will be get what he wishes if he's like this? he would cry at night for that, but tears are not so easy to come out.

on a more optimistic note, he's a picky eater. he loves sweet things, and may be the type to add too much sugar and milk into his coffee to the point where it barely tastes like actual coffee. he enjoys noelle's pancakes.

he either is tone-deaf of has the most angelic voice, there's no in between. i find it more endearing if he's tone-deaf, so he prefers to hum under his breath soft lullabies. in a mordern setting, he would enjoy ballads and romantic lyrics. jazz as well, maybe. he is not too picky about music (contrary to his picky tastebuds).

and he may not be the best dancer, he lacks flow, but he sure can dance a slow waltz with you in his kitchen at three am because you're staying over and (you) felt like having a midnight snack. not necessarily a slow waltz, maybe he just wants to be close to you and pretend to dance, whatever he is doing, but he seems confident so... he at least earns that.

random addition after leaving this soak in my drafts for a month, lol: he has a very light (is the word tame?) scoliosis and the corset thingy he wears has that purpose. now, i know it's totally wrong because a backbrace covers the whole torso but i'm being delusional and self-indulgent. i have a mild, not that annoying scoliosis that have never been treated and i choose to project. with that being said: he rubs his shoulders in any way he can before bed because they get thight from work and his goddamn back :( and he can't reach his shoulderblades even though he can feel a knot there. what a shame... if he only had a lover willing to massage his rock ass hard back for him.

i want to spread the “kaeya owns ‘i can't take my eyes off you' by frank sinatra” agenda. i have to say i was enlightened by this edit. truly wonderful.

oops, i think i got too carried away for just “some silly headcanons”, i honestly don't know if it's a good format to post these, but i like to write like this. anyway, live laugh love kaeya.

english is not my first language, if i made some kind of mistake with my wording lmk !!