#it's because he's technically got shape-shifting as a Deity. he just alters himself every so often

[possibleplatypus]

movie night

I was blocked on one of my wips, but had a sudden inspiration to write this, so I wrote this instead :P it’s a silly follow-up to that harry potter AU I posted, so it’ll probably make more sense to read that first. If not, just know that Yuuri and Viktor are both Aurors, and if you’re a Studio Ghibli fan, please don’t come after me with pitchforks!! Also, spoilers for Howl’s Moving Castle :P

“Miyazaki?” Viktor looked up from trying to catch the penguin-shaped rice ball waddling across the plate. Makkachin was bounding after the life-sized rabbit onigiri that Yuuri had made especially for her, making a mess that would have sent his mother into hysterics. His flat had become so lively since Yuuri came into his life, Viktor thought warmly. “I’ve heard of him. Isn’t he that controversial– er, doesn’t he make Muggle, uh, what are they called–”

“Movies, Viktor. Specifically, animated movies; we also call them ‘films.’” Yuuri grinned as he bit into a wiggling, fried baby octopus (“They’re not alive, I just charmed them!” he said loudly when Viktor had asked, just to make sure).

Viktor subtly cast a spell to send the penguin waddling back to his chopsticks. “Right…”

“When I was young, I didn’t even know he was a wizard until my mother told me, but looking at his work, it makes a lot of sense.”

Viktor bit into the penguin’s shoulder– and then the head, because it was looking at him reproachfully. “I’ve never seen his work, so I’ll take your word for it.”

“Anyway, Phichit and I love his movies, so… I was wondering if you’d like to watch some with me?”

Viktor swallowed. This… partnership? Friendship? Whatever he had with Yuuri was still so new, and they had yet to go on an official date, but Viktor hoarded every second he spent with Yuuri like a dragon would its treasure, loved it whenever Yuuri invited Viktor into a part of himself. He knew, in theory, what a Muggle movie was, though he had never seen one, had never felt the need to.

But Yuuri had asked him, and because it was Yuuri, Yuuri wanting to show Viktor something dear to him, Viktor’s answer had already been decided. The huge, pleading eyes Yuuri trained on him were utterly unnecessary (though not unwelcome).

“I would love to.”

Yuuri’s radiant smile squeezed Viktor’s heart in an Incarcerous that he never wanted to be freed from.

—

Phichit had been gracious enough to lend them the flat for the night, though his eyebrow waggles indicated that he didn’t think they were going to watch a movie at all (even though that was what they were going to do, really. He and Viktor weren’t even– “Whatever you say, Yuuri, just let me know when it’s safe to come back!” Yuuri had thrown a pillow at him).

Viktor had visited their flat a few times already, had shared meals and watched a bit of Muggle news with Yuuri (and Yuuri was always relieved that Viktor didn’t seem to mind the humble lodgings, compared to Viktor’s palatial apartment). The way he was fascinated by Muggle technology was endearing, but it wasn’t like this would be the first time Viktor watched television with Yuuri.

However, they had barely started Howl’s Moving Castle before Yuuri wondered if he had made a mistake.

“What a fascinating concept! What spells do you suppose Howl is using to keep his, er, moving structure up?” Viktor refused to call it a “castle.”

A terrible mistake. “I– I don’t know, that isn’t the point of this story.”

As the movie went on, Viktor piped up again. “They can’t speak to us at all? I wanted to tell Sophie to–”

“No Viktor, they aren’t like paintings, you can’t converse with them,” Yuuri said, very patiently, for the third time.

“Merlin’s beard, what are those? I’ve never heard of magical creatures that look like sludge. And why are they wearing hats?”

“Oh my god,” Yuuri muttered.

But some deity must have heard him, for Viktor abruptly stopped talking as Howl spirited Sophie above the buildings. The couple strolled across the sky, over rooftops, stepped in tandem through the air; through the rousing music, Yuuri watched the colors of the film flicker across Viktor’s eyes. He watched Viktor watch Howl escort Sophie to her sister’s bakery, before the dashing wizard made his dramatic exit above the crowd of dancing Muggles.

“Wow,” Viktor breathed, finally turning to look at Yuuri with sparkling eyes. “What spell was that?”

Yuuri grinned. “Just keep watching.”

—

But it just went downhill from there.

“An age-altering curse?!” Viktor cried as the Witch of the Waste swept away, leaving Sophie a hunchbacked, elderly woman. “They should send Aurors after her!”

“This isn’t supposed to take place in the real Muggle world,” Yuuri said, a bit hysterically.

“I know. It seems to take place in a world where wizards and Muggles coexist– though it’s obvious that tensions are still high. Wizards eating hearts, honestly!” Viktor added, sounding greatly offended. “But if Muggles know that wizards exist, they should also know that Aurors trained to capture Dark witches exist!”

“That’s not what I– oh, nevermind,” Yuuri sighed.

“Though Howl and the Witch are both remarkably skilled, to not require wands for their magic,” Viktor muttered, “They’d probably need half a dozen Aurors for the Witch, at least…”

—

“What wizard would leave an obviously charmed scarecrow to bounce amok in a field? That’s completely irresponsible.”

Yuuri hid his face in his hands.

“A talking, sentient fire? Fascinating. Is it an Ifrit? Or a Youkai?”

“Something like that,” Yuuri said, giving up.

—

“That is some really excellent spellwork,” Viktor mused as Howl (who had transfigured his body into that of a giant bird) barrelled into a group of– Viktor didn’t know what they were, they didn’t look like any magical creature he’d ever seen or heard of– a group of winged, fanged monstrosities (which were also inexplicably wearing hats), sending them scattering before he flew into a patch of blue sky within the murky clouds and disappeared. “The technical aspects of his enchantments are quite confusing, though. Was the sky just an illusion? Did he use a Portkey? Or just spells so advanced we haven’t developed them yet? Did he invent all of those spells?”

Yuuri was eating one of those never-ending chocolate sticks, his head a dead weight on Viktor’s shoulder. He sighed, before murmuring a quiet explanation that inspired even more questions from Viktor. (His hair smelled nice and tickled Vikor’s cheek. Viktor liked it.)

—

“Yuuri, Sophie seems to be fighting off the curse by herself, but that doesn’t make sense if she’s a Muggle. She needs a Curse-Breaker. Or is the curse is wearing off? But that doesn’t make sense either–”

Yuuri shoved a Pocky stick into Viktor’s mouth.

—

It took Viktor a while to realize what Yuuri meant when he said that the movie was not supposed to take place in the real Muggle world. He’d meant that it took place in some imaginary land where Muggles ruled and slaughtered each other, witches and wizards didn’t need wands or incantations for spells (though the witch that reminded him of Lilia had a staff), and magical people were expected to work for Muggle kings (the nerve!). No wonder Miyazaki was so controversial in the wizarding world.

“Is this really how Muggles think of magic?” Viktor asked, as this story was clearly not meant for a wizarding audience.

“Muggles think of magic in many different ways,” Yuuri said. Over the course of the film, he had sadly migrated away from Viktor and was now draped over the sofa as if he was melting.

“Yuuri, are you all right? You seem… very tired.”

“I’m fine, Viktor, just keep watching, you’re almost halfway through.”

“…that is a very unhealthy-looking dog.”

—

“…so, what did you think?” Yuuri asked cautiously as the credits rolled. Viktor had stopped his questions over an hour into the movie, as Yuuri had been too exhausted to answer him; he had just taken to wincing or muttering to himself whenever he saw something he felt was inaccurate.

“Er… well…” Viktor wouldn’t meet his gaze. It was so odd to see him looking unsure of himself; Yuuri would never in his life have believed that Viktor Nikiforov was even capable of looking unsure, but, well. It was kind of cute– and reminded him that Viktor was keeping his word to be himself around Yuuri, even if he hadn’t known that he was talking to Yuuri at the time. The thought made Yuuri’s heart skip.

“It’s okay if you don’t like it,” Yuuri said, “you don’t have to like everything I show you! It was a hit in Muggle theaters, but I know the, er, magic was off. We don’t have to watch another one–”

“No no no!” Viktor said, shaking his head. “To be honest, much of it was confusing, and I still have, er, many questions, but– Howl trying to fight a war by himself to protect the people he loved, and Sophie trying to save Howl, with their connection allowing her to sever his contract with the, uh, demon– I liked that.”

Yuuri’s jaw dropped. “You got all of that?”

“Well, yes. I was paying attention to the story, even though the questionable magic was terribly distracting. The music was good, too.”

It was Yuuri’s turn to fidget. “You, you don’t have to say you liked it, if you didn’t…”

“I did like it,” Viktor insisted. “If nothing else, the portrayal of love as a most powerful and mysterious magic is something I appreciated. I’m happy you showed it to me, Yuuri. Thank you.” Viktor smiled at him, and Yuuri felt like his heart could burst from the sudden flood of emotion.

“You’re w-welcome,” he said, “I’m glad you liked it.”

Viktor hummed. “Inaccuracies aside, it would be astounding if we could make some of those spells a reality. Miyazaki has a great imagination.”

“He does!” Yuuri beamed, shifting closer to Viktor. “If, um, you really liked it, I could show you another one? He based it off of the story of a Muggle girl who accidentally wandered into Youkai territory.”

“Do you mean the girl who married that river Youkai?”

Yuuri blinked. “You know about that?”

“I think I read something in the Daily Prophet about it a few years ago? The Youkai had petitioned the Japanese Ministry to allow him to court the Muggle– and a Muggle movie based on how they met drew him sympathizers. You know how people love a forbidden romance.”

Yuuri knew that the Youkai/Muggle marriage had been big news in Japan, but he had forgotten that the British papers had picked up on it for a time, too. “Yeah, that– that’s the story he based the movie on.”

“Hm. Is it accurate?”

“We can watch it and find out? Oh, but–” Yuuri grinned apologetically at Viktor. “–maybe you could save your questions until after it’s over?”

Viktor’s cheeks pinked. “Duly noted.”

—

They were having lunch again in Viktor’s flat a week later when he blurted, “I figured it out.”

Yuuri was incredibly confused. “You figured what out?”

“The, ah, the spell from the movie. When they were walking in the air–”

Yuuri’s eyes widened. “You did?”

“Yes.” A flush bloomed across Viktor’s cheeks. “When I saw that, I really wanted to try it. With you. And I worked out a charm– but that’s not the point. Yuuri,” Viktor said, those flawless blue eyes trapping him more effectively than any spell ever could, “would you like to take a stroll with me after lunch?”

Yuuri was probably blushing as hard as Viktor, if not moreso. “I would love to.”

—

VIKTOR NIKIFOROV OFF THE MARKET AGAIN?

Viktor Nikiforov, Auror Extraordinaire, the Living Legend of Britain, and Heir to the Most August House of Nikiforov, needs no introduction: since the tender age of 18, Nikiforov has been protecting wizards and Muggles alike with stunning feats of genius and bravery, and all with the dazzling grin that has won Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award seven times in a row. Nikiforov, who recently apprehended twelve Dark wizards selling debilitating experimental potions to Muggle teenagers, was famous for being a playboy in his youth, but has not been seen with a paramour for several years– until yesterday afternoon, when he was spotted twirling above Diagon Alley with a mysterious brunette.

[Photo insert: In the air over Diagon Alley, a handsome, silver-haired man in dark slacks, a white shirt, and a colorful jacket spins a waltz with a beautiful woman wearing a blue dress, her hair styled in a long braid. The couple steps onto the roof of one store and leaps into the sky, landing daintily on the opposite roof; they continue dancing and laughing, not paying any attention to the reader whatsoever.]

This reporter notes that Nikiforov and the unidentified witch were apparently ambling in the air when the elegant Auror’s potential inamorata whispered in his ear, at which time they began to waltz. So enamored of each other were they that neither seemed to hear their spectators calling out to them from the streets below, and danced away from view without a care.

No doubt this scene will trigger an outpouring of grief and speculation from those witches and wizards (myself included) who had been hoping to snare the heart of Britain’s most eligible bachelor. We could not obtain a statement from Mr. Nikiforov, as all owls went unanswered, but only time will tell if he lives up to his old reputation, or if this is the start of something more lasting.

—

>> ET TU, YUURI?? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS?!! I HAD TO FIND OUT FROM LIONEL WAVING THE PAPER IN MY FACE?? YOU, ME, TALK, TONIGHT!!! (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ )

—

Viktor! Not a word from you for months, and now I discover that you have a “potential inamorata” from the gossip rags? Are you finally over that Japanese boy, then? I’m happy for you…

—

Hey little brother, isn’t this the guy you fancy? I don’t suppose you know who he’s dancing with? Anyway, you’re colleagues, so you should bring him by the inn sometime…

—

“Bloody wanker,” Yuri spat, setting the paper on fire and Vanishing the ashes. Who cared if his cousin Stunned twelve Dark wizards at once? When Yuri was an Auror, he would Stun twenty at once, and he wouldn’t waste his time messing around with witches and wizards. Playboy, indeed. And the fool still wouldn’t tell Yuri where Katsuki was or what he was doing– not that Yuri cared or anything–

“Yura, you’re going to be late! Or does Slytherin think they can win without their Seeker?” Ugh, how was it possible that she could be so loud even from across the Great Hall?

“Shut up you hag, I’m coming!”

—

Yakov’s head sank into his hands. Then he reached into the drawer where he kept the Howlers (ever since Vitya joined the Ministry, Yakov had needed a steady supply of Howlers), took one out, and let Vitya and Katsuki know exactly what he thought about their little stunt.

@lady-eden :3