#it's fully a hot stove that my brain is trying to teach itself not to touch | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sergle · 3 months ago

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something weird going on right now vis a vis the depression, the suicidal ideation, and the heartbreak-- I can actually feel that I'm vaulting some of this stuff. like, my mind all but refusing to touch it. it's being put in the vault? I'm going numb a little bit

#I have still had a couple of crying meltdowns but the spaces between are filled with a lot of apathy #and I. don't. think. I've. ever. done that before?#it's fully a hot stove that my brain is trying to teach itself not to touch #this is giving me some anxiety because I can tell that I'm not Actually dealing with it. it's just being stored for later.#stored poorly. less of a vault maybe more of a ziploc #I don't even think I'm explaining it right #I'm using the adventure time reference to try and get the idea across. ''okay so you even know you're doing it''#''yeah! that's where the stuff I can't handle goes''#i'm still feeling. bad. but there's a pillow muffling it kind of #it really feels like the brain trying to keep the body alive

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