#it's like i like it!! i loved the plot loved the mons loved the semi-open world but i also just get kinda. idk. sad when i play?

[eridan-ampora]

I have found a new game quality take that disproportionately frustrated me, but I don't know whether to rank it 4th or 5th on the list of how hot of a take it is. "I never liked Legends Arceus because it has Switch game performance issues, and I can't tolerate Switch game performance issues anymore. And even if it weren't for that, the gameplay is just a laundry list of quests, and come on. I want to play Pokémon, not do my weekly grocery shopping."

thats such a silly thing to complain about cause like, every single pokemon game is just you zipping around the region doing stuff cause some adult gave you a cute little task

honestly i have. so many feelings about pla. but ultimately i think it's a great experience & i'm really glad so much of the stuff they were experimenting with is getting pulled forward into more pokemon games.

[cherryeol04]

Looking for RP Partner

💖Intro💖

 Hello wonderful people! 👋

I'm looking for some roleplay partners. I don't really have a limit on how many I want to take in or anything, so if you're interested, then let me know in the dms! But before you message me, please kindly read the following notes about me and what I'm looking for. Even if you don't meet all the criteria, I'm more than willing to give you a chance! Though age is a hard requirement that has to be met! Anything with a * next to it is a requirement I’m looking for in a partner.

Most, if not all roleplays will be NSFW

Yes, it'll have some spicy times in it, but it's mostly deemed NSFW because of the themes I like to write.

Dark themes, triggering situations, adult content - everything, of course, will be preplanned with long discussions of triggering topics, hard limits and such.

🔞 Partners must be at least 19+!🔞*

My style is 3rd pov, past tense.

I’m looking for someone who also does 3rd pov, past tense, but I will also accept present tense as well!

Semi to Literate*

I love long replies and I do enjoy giving them as well. However, I understand that sometimes you can't always give long responses, and that's okay too. I just ask no one-liners

Currently looking for MxM pairings and plots!*

I do not stick to one plot!

This just means I'm open to having more than one plot going with many different face claims. So if you would like to plot a pirate au with Hongjoong from Ateez and a wolf au with Chanyeol from EXO, I'm the person for you!

Currently there is no limit for the amount of plots I will do with one person.

I control more than one character

This is different from god-modding

This just means that in our plot, I can (and prefer) to control more than one character. So while my main face claim may be Chan from Stray Kids, I may also play Felix and Seungmin to add a little more substance and character development to the plot. 

While I would like for you to also have more than one character, I don’t expect it of you if you’re not comfortable with it. 

With regards to NPCs (the barista working at the café they visit, or the random people they meet along the way), either one of us can control them at any time as long as it’s to move the plot along.

Preferred platforms:

Line

Discord

As of right now, I think that's everything. Again, if you're interested, pm me! If you have any questions, also pm me!!

⚜ OC Information ⚜

Age: 25+

Time zone: -5 EST

Work Schedule: Mon-Fri 8-5

Replies may be sporadic throughout the week, with the majority of replies coming in the evening time.

Weekends will bring more replies, unless I have plans with friends/family or I’m on call for work

My face claims are never set. So if you're looking for a specific person, please review the list of face claims I rp and let me know. Otherwise I'll base my face claims on what the plot is.

❣ Preferred Plots, Themes & Genres ❣

Fantasy Au

Omegaverse AU / Wolf Au / ABO Au

Fluff, Romance, Humor

Horror

Dystopian AU

Post-Apocalyptic AU

Academy Au

Boss/Employee AU

College/University AU

Disney Movie AU

Mafia/Gang Au

Magic AU

Pirates AU

Royalty AU

Soulmate AU

Mythology

Tropes:

Arranged Marriage

Class Difference

Exes to Lovers

Fake/Pretend Relationships

First’s (date, kiss, ect.)

Forbidden Love

Male Pregnancy

Polyamory

String of Fate

💫 Face Claims 💫

*There is no specific faceclaim I want at the moment. Most of my face claims will be male. Looking for more Stray Kids plots!!!*** The 🌸 next to the name indicates my preferred face claim from that group.**

EXO

Chanyeol

Baekhyun🌸

Cen

Suho

Sehun

GOT7

Mark🌸

Yugyeom

Nu’est

Minhyun

Ren🌸

Stray Kids

Chan

Hyunjin

Jisung🌸

Seungmin

Minho

Vixx

N🌸

Hongbin

Hyuk

🖋 Writing Samples 🖋

OC Character - Kayden Park

Kayden was overjoyed. He hadn’t thought tulips would grow at this time of the year, but entering the garden he found a wide variety of them, pristine and in full bloom. They were the one flower that Kayden had really hoped would grow because after he read what their meanings were, he knew almost instantly who he wanted to give them to.

Specifically the red tulips.

Some might say he falls too easily and others might say he loves too hard. But in reality, Kayden couldn’t control who he was or how he felt about people. When he found someone he liked, he became attached to them, trying to be as close as possible while nurturing their growing relationship - whatever it might be. Even if that person got on his nerves all the time, or they ended up doing things that very honestly scared him, ending a relationship just wasn’t in Kayden’s vocabulary.

Red tulips symbolize true love, or a soulmate. Kayden had a specific person in mind and while he wouldn’t say it was true love - hell Atreyu could barely stand him in a good - he did think the other was his soulmate. Despite their ups and downs and the multitude of times he was locked out of the dorm and left to fend for himself for the night, Kayden knew that what he had with Atreyu was special - indescribable even.

And while he couldn’t find the words, he knew the flowers would do the best job. So after carefully plucking five of the tulips, he handed back inside and to his room where he had left his roommate. Atreyu had been in one of his moods again, refusing to speak to Kayden, so hopefully the flowers would double as something to cheer him up.

“Atreyu~!” he sang happily as he opened the door, hoping he hadn’t disturbed the other but knowing he probably did. He braced himself to be hit with a pillow or something, even a “go away” in his harsh and icy tone. But when he got no greeting in return, Kayden took a moment to actually look around the room.

It was empty.

And not just in a way that said Atreyu left to go mope somewhere. It was truly empty. The smile on his face slowly fell as he stepped into the room. His bed was made, but it lacked a lived-in feel - as if a maid had come in and just fixed the bed to make it look presentable. The nightstand next to the bed was barren, everything Atreyu had kept there gone.

Kayden didn’t want to jump to conclusions but his mind was already racing. He crossed the space quickly and yanked open the drawers. Barren. Turning, he moved to the closet next and opened it. Nothing. Everything that had belonged to Atreyu was gone.

He was gone.

As Kayden stood there, reality slowly came crashing down as he realized he was alone. No note. No text. No goodbye. He clenched the tulips tightly in his hand before releasing them and letting them drop to the floor.

Stupid.

He had been so stupid and this is what he got.

Silently, Kayden walked over to his bed and sat down on it gingerly, eyes staring blankly ahead.

Alone.

No matter what he did, he was always going to be alone.

-----------------

ABO AU - Chan, Jisung, Seungmin, Changbin

Jisung laughed and nodded, pulling back some from the other. “Tonight…supposedly.” He said and shrugged. “But my body has been weird lately, so it may hold off another day. I hope it does cause I wanna be able to spend time with you. It’s been so long.”

Jisung had honestly missed the omega. He hadn’t seen Hyunjin since the night of the attack. The last thing Jisung could recall was rolling on top of Hyunjin to protect him from the blade before calling for help. Chan had told him already that if it weren’t for him, Hyunjin probably would have ended up dying. 

So if that meant Jisung suffered from nightmares and a sore side (with a near death experience of his own), then so be it. It was worth it. 

He grunted when Felix suddenly tackled them both, hugging them tightly. “Yeah! What Lixie said.” He said and whined. “Felix, my side.” He hissed softly. 

Chan watched the three, smiling fondly. He walked over and patted Felix’s head gently. “Come in Lix, be careful with them.” He said gently. “They’re both still healing.” 

Seungmin peeked his head out of the kitchen before hiding once more, afraid to face Hyunjin. He felt so guilty still for turning his back on the omega so fast. Things from that had been hectic, chaotic. Feelings were hurt, people were hurt and Seungmin may have chosen the wrong side. 

He still fully believed how things were handled was inexcusable and that was mostly on Chan’s part but knowing the other was Hyunjin’s soulmate and seeing first hand what a soulmate bond looked like through Jisung and Minho, Seungmin sort of understood where everyone was coming from. It couldn’t be helped, the attraction.

He wanted to apologize for being such an ass but he was afraid Hyunjin wouldn’t accept it. He didn’t want to cause discourse in the pack because the others seemed so hellbent on getting Hyunjin in the pack and they were happy. He would be happy too, he just wasn’t sure if Hyunjin would be happy around him. 

Meanwhile, Changbin made his exit from the kitchen and smiled. “We’ll looky here.” He called. “Chan really did bring us a present.” He teased. 

If you have made this far down, thank you so much!!! If you're interested at all in rping, please send me a dm or an ask! I'm looking for long term partners to create beautiful worlds together! 💖

[bitch-for-a-rainbow]

Supergirl 6x08: Thoughts, Defense, and Criticism

I will say the episode mildly exceeded my expectations. I was very please to see them actually exploring trauma in a semi-realistic way.

I’ll start with my most positive— and most widely agreed with opinion: that Danvers sisters scene kicked ass. It is the kind of content that the show has been sorely missing. From Alex’s failure to open the wine bottle to Kara’s breakdown, there wasn’t a single beat that didn’t work in that scene. I LOVED Melissa Benoist’s performance— the halting, hesitating speech and lack of eye contact— you could feel just how painful it was to talk about the phantom zone, let alone admit she was still afraid. Chyler Leigh played her part wonderfully— the care with which she spoke every word just oozed love and worry. The casting of those two together was just a miracle.

(More under the cut. A lot more.)

There was some awkward dialogue (did they think the audience wouldn’t know who a reporter named Iris was? They had to include the full, hyphenated last name?) but honestly it was pretty good for a supergirl episode, so I can’t really complain.

Melissa Benoist is just a powerhouse of an actor and it showed this week. I could go on and on about her perfomance but there’s a lot more to say about the episode so I’ll just say she’s the bomb and move on.

Brainy and Nia were delightful as always, providing much of the humor of the episode and still shouldering some of the more dramatic beats. Brainy’s welcome home hug for Kara was something I felt in my soul don’t @ me.

The Nia/Lena friendship. I didn’t expect it, but I am certainly enjoying it. Hoping to see them hang out more (though maybe with a different topic than dead moms)

Lena continues to be a seedless addition to the Superfriends. Her leaving is, however, one of the few major issues I have with the episode. It’s weird. And random. From a purely character standpoint I don’t understand why she wouldn’t even wait a week for Kara to get settled back in before leaving. From an overall plot standpoint, I just don’t care about the Lena mom arc. I never have, and honestly I think there are better uses for her screen time— then again, removing her opens up that time for other characters and let’s the writers move along her character development offscreen— it worked for Mon El!

But seriously, i don’t know if Lena is going to just disappear or if we’re going to have a separated sub plot of her doing things and I don’t really care. I just want her to do something that I have any vague interest in, like have her finally pay back that debt to Andrea from 5x01 (did that even still happen? They called Kara a Pulitzer winner this episode.) Or have her work with Nia to track down information about interpreting her magic dreams, or go on a team bonding subplot with Alex where they get over the mind control and attempted murder via satellite thing (maybe talk about Alex’s experience with Myriad, or maybe, you know, have her resolve anything with Kara. Try and bridge icy awkward gap that happens when you realize your best friend was a lying asshole and you slightly overreact by trying to make it physically impossible for anyone to be mean to you ever again.

And speaking of Andrea— I’m actually really enjoying her character for the first time since crisis. She was fun in a way that made me laugh and worked well to both further herself as a character and push the plot. I’m genuinely excited for her scenes next episode. And they wrote all this without changing her at all as a character. Something just clicked this time, I’m not sure if it was how unstable Kara was so her aggression was actually effective or that her subplot actually had consequence this time, but it was nice.

And Zor-El was there, I guess.

I have, personally, been against any Kryptonian resurrections since season 1. Supergirl had their go of it, and it worked very well, and they used up their slot. Reign earned an exception for being a bamf and giving us what the best fight scene supergirl has ever had. The other worldkillers did not. And Argo made me unreasonably angry, especially when it was so painfully wasted.

Zor-El is just the new, shiny version of Argo and equally useless. (Also, Argo is alive again? Did we know that?) This is not to say I didn’t enjoy him at all, this episode is the first that I’ve liked him. But still. That one throw away comment about the phone calls and superhearing being hard to deal with could have led to a really interesting conversation with Kara: tackling the really unpleasant parts of her childhood, the difficulties she has pretending to be human, and ultimately the pain and suffering her caused by sending her off, alone, to care for an infant on a foreign planet. They knew it would give her powers; did they know what those powers would mean? Did they care?

I wanted that conversation, and I wanted the others, Nia in particular, to hear it. (Nia grew up a half-alien in Parthas, Kara grew up with the DEO hanging over her head like an ax— that difference has always intrigued me.)

Zor-El and Sesame Street was sweet, though I don’t know where he found the time to binge that and learn to control his powers all while Kara was still asleep.

Kara saying Clark used to beg to bring her to the fortress is a blatant retcon of seasons 1 and 2, but I think the writers make copies of the show bible just to set them on fire each episode.

And again— very interesting possible conversations. What does Zor think of his so very not Kryptonian-Kryptonian nephew? What does he think of Kara’s distant relationship with him? What does he think of Clark dumping Kara on the Danvers (for very arguable reasons) and then barely acknowledging her existence (for considerably less arguable, I’d totally in-character reasons)? What does he think of Clark’s data crystal that built a whole fortress, while his contained the recipe for his bio-weapon and a hologram of his wife? (What kind of person sends their teenage daughter off with a baby and a bio-weapon? The fuck did he think she’d need that for?) Was it so important to him to preserve his work?

Would it KILL THEM to have one conversation acknowledging Astra and Non’s existence. Just to explain how Kara knew her father was responsible for Krypton’s destruction. Could I have that instead of Oscar the trash monster? (Trash robot? Trash robot monster?)

Overall, I enjoyed the episode— it was better than I expected. I’m cautiously optimistic for next week.

And one more thing:

Where the fuck is Lex?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been praying for his character to go away for over a year, but like???

His abuse victim just left him.

The abuse victim who he torments for the fun and attention of it.

That victim.

Just told him he doesn’t get any more attention.

5. Episodes. Ago.

And he didn’t blow up half the city?

No “Look at me! Look at me!” destructive rampage?

Are they building up for something? They haven’t even mentioned his name. Even if he doesn’t lash out, he’s still a supervillain. Who’s got all this power and money, and is in controlling of a bunch of government stuff.

Idk.

Just.

Feels like someone should get on that.

[shortythescreen]

Warning(s): NSFT/18+. Vaginal sex, semi exhibitionism? Corny porn plot. 

Pairing(s): Crypto/Wattson. 

Author’s Note(s): A commission for my lovely @dargonwolfeh! Had so much fun writing this continuation of their fic. My first ever fic with two canon characters together! Someone pinch me lol. 

On paper, Crypto and Natalie are not living together.

They could file for it if they chose to. Could go the Apex Execs and tell them they needed one less suite. It might be the smart thing to do, considering Natalie never spends time in her own apartment anymore. Crypto’s hesitant to share his business with others, though. Especially the people he’s hellbent on taking down. Especially since the marketing team would surely publicize them as ‘star crossed lovers’ should they ever be placed on different squads in the arena.

So, they say nothing, even though everyone knows they live together. Everyone knows they’re a couple. Even if they themselves haven’t quite realized just how deep they’ve sunken.

Until now, anyway.

Crypto stares into his medicine cabinet, hand frozen on the little handle attached to the mirror. He’s not very particular about grooming himself. Mila Someone he knew before taught him that he needed to use a different soap for his face than he did his body and that’s… about the extent of his self-maintenance. He’s bought the same shaving cream, the same 2-in-1 hair and body soap, and the same face wash for… years.

Therefore, the bubblegum pink moisturizer tucked neatly against his shaving cream is definitely not his. Neither is the ‘normal to dry’ face wash, or the gummy women’s multivitamins. As a matter of fact, now that he looks at it more closely, a majority of the things in his medicine cabinet don’t belong to him. Awhile ago, he might have been bothered by that, but now…

The front door of his apartment swings open and shut and he doesn’t panic. Doesn’t think it’s the syndicate, come to arrest him because they know who he really is. He knows who just got home, who’s blabbing on the phone.

“Non, Octavio, not like that!” Natalie says. Crypto closes the cabinet, forgetting why he opened it the first place. When he sees his reflection, the dark dusting of stubble beginning on his jaw and his upper lip, he remembers. He decides he’ll say hello to his girlfriend before he takes care of that.

He takes a step away from the bathroom counter, peering out the open door of the bathroom. Natalie is shrugging out of her coat, holding her phone between her shoulder and her ear, the opposite hand cupping it to make sure it doesn’t slide as she strips out of her day clothes. Her sunny hair tumbles out of its hood as she does, the short locks brushing just beneath her ears, and his lips twitch up at the sight of it.

She turns and beams as she sees him. She finishes hanging up her coat, tossing it carelessly over the rack and lifting her head, holding one arm out to him. Shirtless, Crypto exits the bathroom, looping an arm across her shoulder blades to tug her close. He kisses her forehead in greeting.

“Salut, mon amour,” she mouths up at him. The grin fades from her features and her eyes turn towards the chatter coming from her phone. “Okay, well, that means you didn’t plug it in to the right port.”

Crypto loudly snorts, making Natalie press her lips together to hide a laugh. She presses a finger to her lips, silently shushing him. Those pretty blue eyes flicker over his chest, over the dark line of hair on his lower belly. He smirks at her, reaching up to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear, the rest of it falling over his knuckles.

The tips of his fingers dance down the side of her throat and Natalie shudders. She takes a step away, trying to put some distance between them.

Their match from last week flashes through his mind. She certainly hadn’t backed off him while he was trying to talk to Ajay. They were very lucky that she was distracted by the match – or that she was willing to turn a blind eye to their shenanigans. Though his expression stays neutral, Crypto snatches Natalie’s hips, pulling her close.

“Y-You’re working with an older model, Octavio, it’s not going to go as quickly as the newer one,” says Natalie, the little stutter at the beginning of her sentence making him quietly smirk. He dives down, licking a stripe up the same place his fingers were, and she shivers against him.

“If you want it to work, you have to have patience,” she continues as Crypto traces the band of her pants, all the way to the back. The prominent curve of her ass feels perfect in his palms and he squeezes, tugging at the stretch waist she wears.

Natalie always has a problem finding pants that fit. Her ass isn’t proportionate to her waist, sticking out further than any smaller size jeans would allow. She likes the stretchy ones for that reason and he’s grateful for that now, snapping the elastic band against her.

Natalie squeaks and Crypto backs her up, against the couch. Their legs knock as they move but when she finally hits the cushions, she falls into them with a plop. Her dark eyes twist up to him and, oh, for all she seems so sweet, he knows that look.

“Non, mon amie, I’m fine,” Natalie suddenly breathes, remembering Octavio is on the line. Her throat flexes and Crypto smirks, palming the bulge in his sweatpants. Her eyes blink to his crotch then back up to him, like she’s waiting for him to make a move. He has every intention to. “Uh-huh. Okay, well, let’s try this again.”

Crypto reaches down, manhandling her onto her knees. She hangs onto the back of the sofa with one hand, clutching her phone with white knuckles in the other. He grips those stretch pants, pulling them slowly down, and biting his lip at the way they stretch over that juicy round ass of hers. Natalie likes boxer briefs, especially ones with interesting patterns. Today, the underwear has bananas as they design, peeled or otherwise. The innuendo isn’t lost on Crypto and he snorts. Natalie glances over her shoulder with a sneaky grin.

“Cheeky,” he says, tugging those briefs down. Her pussy is perfect, pink and open and waiting for him, surrounded by golden curls, and Crypto’s mouth waters. She shivers as cool air caresses her and he’s right behind it, spitting onto two of his fingers. He holds her open with his opposite hand, fingers sinking into the pillowy flesh of her ass, spit dripping onto the couch as he presses his wet fingers against her.

“T-Then you just-” Natalie begins, and he can’t see her face, but the little hitch of her breath tells him all he needs to know as he pushes his fingers past her outer lips. They clutch her clit on either side, and he sees the muscles in her lower back clench. “Just plugitin.”

She chances a look over her shoulder once again and Crypto smirks. She’s so eager already, so ready to be fucked. He doesn’t have nearly as wild of a sex drive at Natalie – had to remind her during the first few times that foreplay’s important, that having her soaked and wet and trembling made it easier for him to fuck her to pieces. He’s tempted to remind her again, but he can already feel her cunt lubing up his fingers with every stroke of them against her. He should have known she was a little bit of an exhibitionist, sought a little thrill after she sucked the soul out of his dick in the arena.

Crypto pushes one finger up to the knuckle inside her and she squirms, clearly wanting more. He watches her, waiting.

“Oui, you put in the password? And it’s-” Her jaw drops as he slides a second finger in on one of his thrusts, stretching that sweet cunt. It hugs his fingers beautifully and the thought of having it on his dick instead makes Crypto bite his lower lip. Natalie thrusts her ass back into his palm, always greedy, always hungry for more. She’s so used to being on top, to riding him, fucking him open, and he can feel her trying to take control even though she’s the one vulnerable here. “I-It’s still not working?”

Her head drops as he pulls his fingers out, only tugging his sweats down low enough to free his cock. He slides his wet fingers up and down the length of it, before raising the same palm to spit in it once more. Natalie’s been like a bunny recently and Crypto thinks he should have had the foresight to hide some lune underneath the couch.

He didn’t, though, so he pumps himself, biting his lower lip, waiting until he can hear his fist moving along his shaft, until it sounds wet and sticky. He rolls back the foreskin, pressing the blunt head to her weeping hole. Natalie tenses all over and he peers up at the back of her head, waiting. When he doesn’t move, her head snaps towards him, and she gives him a glare that could turn blood cold. He chuckles, obliging her with a slow roll of his hips, seating his cock inside her.

Natalie bites her lower lip, hard, and he knows he’ll be able to see the indentation of her teeth in the pink skin later. He doesn’t care though, pulling her back onto his cock, careful not to clap his hips against her ass, even though he wants to.

“Octavio, listen, I-I just got home.” Lie. Crypto would smirk if he weren’t so entranced by the hot, velvety heat of her. She starts fucking herself onto his cock, hips driving back, and Crypto leans back, watching her work. “I will come and take a look later.”

She rests her forehead against her clenched fist, thighs scooting apart, giving her a wider range of motion. Her cunt makes white, creamy streaks on his dick and Crypto bites his tongue, driving forward. Natalie slams her fist against the back of the couch as he piledrives into her cunt, the blunt tip hitting that spot that he knows makes her see starts. “Oui! Ouiouioui, okay, au revoir!”

She tries to push herself up onto her forearms, tapping desperately at the end button on her phone. When it finally beeps, signifying Octavio can no longer hear her, she groans, low, and loud, and long, and the noise goes straight to Crypto’s dick. He mouths at her shoulder, moaning himself, grinding his cock hard and fast into her cunt.

“Crypto!” She gasps. He hooks an arm around her torso, grappling with one of her breasts through her top. She slips the hand that had been holding her phone down, feeling where they’re connecting. The noise he makes isn’t human, the fat of her ass quivering with every clap of his hips against hers.

She drags those fingers up, toying with her clit as he pinches a nipple through her top, and she moans something like his name. When he glances down, he sees sweat pulling in the small of her back and he sighs, biting her shoulder. He sinks himself down to the base and grinds his cock down, against that spongy spot he found with his fingers earlier. Her voice grows higher in pitch, fingers frantically moving on her clit, and Crypto shudders, closer, close, fuck, he’s so close-

“Crypto!” She yelps and without warning, her cunt constricts around him. His jaw drops, the scorching heat of her closing in. He thrusts his hips forward once, twice, before suddenly pulling out, grabbing his cock – fucking soaked, still attached to her cunt by a sticky trail – and jerks it frantically. He throws his head back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he cums onto the globes of her ass.

They’re both panting, trying to catch their breaths. Her blonde hair somehow looks crazy, even though he hadn’t fucked with it the whole time she was on the phone. She looks over her shoulder at him, beautiful, gorgeous pink lips parted to suck in breaths of air.

“You… are mean,” she groans, flopping onto the couch. Crypto snorts, smirking at her.

“Karma is mean,” he says, nudging her over on the couch with a knee. He knows they’ll regret it later, that his spunk is smearing all over the cushions, but she looks so perfect, so fucked out. He squishes her into the couch, joining her.

“You liked what I did in the ring,” whines Natalie.

“And you didn’t like what I did just now?”

“That’s not what I said, mon amour,” she grumbles, turning to nuzzle into his chest. Crypto kisses the top of her head, looping an arm around her, and reaching up to ignore her phone as it starts to ring again.

[kanto-jhoto]

I'm not even a little bit tech literate enough to know anything about developing a video game, so this is just a theoretical pipe dream...

But if I were ever to make my own creature collecting game inspired by all the things I loved about the early years of the Pokemon franchise, I would probably not put much emphasis on traditional turn based combat.

Actually the game I would make would be a lot closer to the Gameboy Zelda games than Pokemon. I specify Gameboy Zelda because Link gets a lot companions that open new paths for him in his Adventure. Obviously monster battling would be a little more involved than sicking your chain chomp on an enemy, I would still have RPG style battling, but it would resemble Chrono Trigger more than Pokemon, just so you wouldnt have to transition out of the overworld for a battle.

To me I preferred the idea of adventuring with my Pokemon rather than battling with them and winning a Pokemon League. So the monsters would be more about utilizing their abilities to help you explore and overcome obstacles. Pokemon has that to an extent with HM obstacles, but what I have in mind would see the Monsters already in the overworld and tackling an obstacle without the player needing to input it from a menu. Usually, but not always. Certain Monsters would need to be interacted with to perform their skill.

A team of 3 that follow you in the overeorld, with access to 6 more at any given time, and an unlimited storage system you access in towns seems fair to me. "Types" would determine a monsters primary skill but there could be other more basic skills you could teach them to mix and match.

Enough about mechanics, let's talk about presentation. I love Pokemon's semi modern setting, so I'd strive for something like that, but keeping with the quaint mountain and riverside country feeling Kanto has going for it emphasized. Buildings that look decades old, dirt roads, farmland, ect. And of course standard monster biome fare, forests, caves, ect.

And if I could somehow emulate the old soft coloring style of the gen 1 pokemon artwork, that would be aces. I dont know what I would do for the plot, but probably something simple.

Anyway. End of this pointless ramble. I think seeing a lot of good-ass fake mon on my dash caused me to think about this. I cant help think about fakemon being used to make a new monster collecting game.

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

Above Average Liars

Request: Could I possibly request a Steve Trevor/Reader one shot where Reader is a fellow spy and they have to go undercover as a married couple for a mission? Thanks lovely! Your writing is fantastic btw @all-time-foes

A/N: Ok so this is one of my favorite troupes and I have accidentally... inadvertently... written far too much to post all at once. Tune in next week for the next episode of spies using French pet names and pretending they don’t have feelings for each other. 

A/N/N: My French may be better than my Russian, but it’s still bad. I don’t know why to set this in France. I’m sorry. 

A/N/N/N: This ones a little less gender neutral than I usually do, I hope that’s ok with everybody

“You remember your cover?” Steve asked, crowding your space. His left hand never left your arm.

“Oh, was I supposed to memorize that?” you snarked without looking up at him, too preoccupied with pulling the sleeve of your blouse straight. But when he made a quiet, guttural sound, you looked up, rolling your eyes before your expression shifted into a sweet smile. “Ambre Dubois, your loving wife and cours élémentaire teacher in our home town of Colmar.”

“You couldn’t have just said that,” he mumbled, stepping closer to you as a few more people filled onto the train platform.

“I live to frustrate you, dear,” you had slipped seamlessly into your French accent.  

“Oh, believe me I know.” He turned his face away from you as a stiff breeze blew by, signaling the arrival of the train.

You bent down to pick up the luggage at your feet, but Steve stopped you.

“No need to lift a finger, my beautiful bride.” He wrapped his hand around the handle of your bag and picked it up, his face scrunched in the effort before he turned it to you in shock. “What do you have in here?”

“Lady things,” you smiled, tucking your hand into the crook of his elbow.

He nodded once, giving you a look that said he didn’t want to know what exactly it was you meant by “lady things”, before leading you to one of the train doors as it came to a stop. Steve stepped aboard first, setting down one of the bags and offering you a hand. Swallowing your pride, you took it.

Under normal circumstances, you would have swatted it away and bit his head off if he pushed the issue, which he had a habit of doing. But you were under cover, and undercover always meant you had to be a weak, submissive woman and not a raging feminist, fighting tooth and nail for equal rights.

You smiled at him and followed him back to your compartment. You opened the door and stepped in once he began putting your bags away.

“Oh, bunk beds. How,” you eyed the sleeping arrangements, “youthful.”

“Well, we are young at heart, darling,” he said with tone that reminded you that you were supposed to be in love. He stared down at your bag for a second before looking back at you. “It’s knives, isn’t it.”

“And a semi-automatic,” you told him, going to look out the window.

“You better hope we don’t get searched.”

Reaching over, you grabbed his revolver through his jacket. He stilled as you leaned forward to whisper in his ear, “Yeah, I better hope.”

He coughed and you pulled back.

“That’s for emergencies.”

You raised your eyebrows.

“And I like it,” he added more quietly, looking away.

You shook your head with a chuckle, tugging your ticket from your skirt pocket you looked it over. “Long ride.”

“It will give you time to work on your French.” Any other man and this would have been a genuine insult, an underestimation of your intelligence, or the belief that you couldn’t do you job, but this was Steve, the man you had worked beside for years. It was nothing more than an innocent jest. Still, you went on the offencive.

“Mon français est superbe, enculeur de mouches,” you jabbed, tucking the ticket back into your pocket and adjusting the folds of your skirt.

He stopped in his efforts to secure the luggage and turned to look at you, his eyebrows moving into one of his classic shocked and slightly confused expressions that you hated to admit you adored. Then it split into that damned infectious grin.

“Fly fucker. That’s a good one.”

“Merci,” you laughed.

It was a game you played. You insulted each other. You teased each other. But anyone else who was brave enough to try it would find themselves on the wrong end of the protective nature of the other.

It hadn’t started that way. In the beginning, every bit of abuse you sent at him was sincere. You had tried to prove how tough you were by becoming the exact opposite of the precious flower that men expected you to be. You decided you hated him before actually meeting him. And he took offence to every bit of it. But he had changed your mind.

“Je t’en prie.”

“Excuse me,” a man at the door said in a thick British accent. “Français?”

“English is fine,” Steve answered, making it sound like it was his second language.

“Of course. Tickets and passports, please.”

Steve pulled the fake passports and his ticket from his coat pocket and you handed him your own ticket. The man looked your papers over, nodding and pulling out a hole punch. After punching a hole in each ticket, he returned them and the passports back to Steve.

“Enjoy the ride. Someone will be by in an hour to take your dinner orders. If you’re hungry before that, the meal car will open once we start moving.”

The man left and you started breathing again.

No matter how many times you went undercover, anyone looking over your forged documents had you holding your breath and plotting out an escape. Steve’s jaw always twitched the tiniest bit, imperceptible to the casual onlooker, but you saw it everytime. The chances of someone discovering your passports weren’t real were slim, but if someone did, the game was over.

The train lurched to a start causing both of you to stumble. Steve used one hand to hold onto the top bunk and the other to keep you steady as the two of you talked. Your fake accents had left you as your hushed voices quickly ran through the plan, but they came back in full force as he raised his voice back to a normal speaking volume and moved his hand from your shoulder to your own hand.

“Shall we go mingle?”

“Oui, mon cher mari!” You wrapped your free hand around his bicep and pulled yourself closer to him as you headed into the narrow corridor. He smiled down at the act of endearment and listened as you chattered mindlessly in French. Anything to make the act seem real.

(Part Two)

[fallingxslowly-archived-blog]

RULES

This is an INDEPENDENT MULTI MUSE RP blog for the characters of shows such as Legends of Tomorrow, The Flash, Supergirl and the Disney Move Descendants, the characters of this blog include; A human/AI personification of Gideon, Leonard and Lisa Snart, Mick Rory, Axel Walker, Hartley Rathaway, Kara Danvers,Winn Schott Jr, Harry Hook and Isabelle (Tinkerbells daughter)

ABOUT THE MUN

      Both mun and my muses are of legal age (mun is 24+, while muses are canon age ), however in a few verses my muses are underage so there will be no NSFW whatsoever. I find it very difficult to interact with child characters so will rarely ever accept a thread if the muse is under sixteen unless it is due to a meme. 

      Penname is Amy, I use she/her pronouns. I live in Britain so am on the GMT timezone (I think it’s GMT +1 but I’m useless with this stuff so I’m sorry if I’m wrong)

        My blog usually states that I am Semi-Hiatus, this is because I am usually either in work, babysitting my sister or just don’t have the energy to write. When I do have the chance to write then usually I will write everything and then post them slowly or queue them all depending on how I feel about a thread at that time.

         A lot of my icons are made by myself, I am currently redoing a number of them for some characters but have some 100x100px ones under icon edits that I made available to people to edit themselves if they so wish. The icons that weren’t made by myself are my Kara icons (unfortunately I can’t find who to credit for them)

          I’ll be the first to admit that I post A LOT of ooc stuff (I usually delete it because it’s just to clear my mind), if you don’t want to see it then ((out of snark: ooc)) is my tag so blacklist it.

         I was a media student for four years and in those four years I studied about five creative writing courses that drilled into me the need for character building so OC’s are difficult for me to get my head around.

BLOG

       After deliberation I have decided to make the blog a mutuals only blog.

       I am OC friendly, but my muses need to ‘click’ with the characters because otherwise it would be forced and it will be bad for both of us, I WILL NOT interact with characters that are product of incest, and I will not interact with characters that are all powerful with very little thought put into them to balance it out. 

       I don’t follow personal blogs and if someone follows me, I sometimes block them if there is no indication that they are an rp blog or have a sideblog so please be careful with following me; at least let me know via IM if you have a side blog.

        Cutting posts is difficult for me when I am on mobile so I apologise in advance. If I am on mobile then I will either tag it, or I will warn you in advance.

         I will very rarely do about the mun posts, if they interest me then I’ll do them but sometimes I just haven’t got the time to do them.

CANON DIVERGENCE AND VERSES FOR CW SHOWS

          This blog is canon divergent the majority of the time, I will do threads that follow series two of Legends if it’s requested but otherwise it my threads will remain canon divergent, the main differences are:

           Leonard is alive, he did die to begin with but he was just sent through time and awoke in Central City not long after the invasion.

           Kendra and Carter did leave and the crew were scattered but for how long is unclear so Nate was required to join and Amaya joined because of Thawne

            To Gideon, Sara was NEVER Captain, she may have been co-captain but Rip is always her Captain, she will never go against him, and she would never hide anything from him if it meant that harm would befall someone on the crew, or something could cause the mission to go wrong.

Flash differences:

           Axel only stayed in jail for a small amount of time due to ‘good behaviour’ but he is also weary about Jesse’s claims to him being the Tricksters heir

           Hartley isn’t a good guy although he’s not a bad guy either, he’s a Rogue for hire

Supergirl differences:

           Kara isn’t in a relationship with Mon-El UNLESS STATED!! same with Winn and Lya.

MY VERSES ARE OPEN, I usually end up creating a new one every week so feel free to give me a reason to keep them

INTERACTIONS

         So as I’ve said, I’m a multi-muse blog, a lot of people are put off by this I know, but it’s easier for me if I have one blog rather than a number of sideblogs because I have tried that once before and it didn’t work.

         If you want to send a meme then please, please, PLEASE, state the character you want, I have TEN muses so it becomes extremely difficult to choose who to answer with and not everyone is happy with my choice.

          I will try and add a character when I send a meme but in all honesty, I do forget from time to time.

          Each of my muses are different, and I play them differently; however their backgrounds remain the same, if you aren’t happy with how I play my characters then you can leave my blog, simple as that.

           Please tag your stuff, it’s not triggering to me, however I know a number of things can be triggering to my own followers and it will be easier for me as I am never completely sure about what to tag and what not to tag.             Never EVER godmod unless you have my permission, I dislike it greatly when someone decides my character is going to do something in their reply and actually writes them doing it. My characters are my own and even if you portray them somewhere else, we have separate minds. I will ALWAYS ask before directing your muse somewhere if out PLOT called for it.

              Due to being on mobile a lot, I am unable to reblog asks as threads without difficulty, so please make a new thread for it. You don’t have to link it to the ask, a title works perfectly. THREAD RULES

          I’m comfortable doing one liners, but they will sooner or later be turned into paragraphs and maybe even multiparagraphs (I’ve gone from one to six in two replies before now).

            I will use icons from time to time, I usually prefer beginning a new thread (particularly with someone new) with an icon but after a few replies they tend to be lost. Sometimes I’ll use gifs too but not always and don’t worry about using them yourself.

           I will happily add characters to our threads if needed, I don’t mind playing other CW or Disney characters, plus it gives me more inspiration and may result in more characters on my crew. HOWEVER, please, if you want to add characters, write them as well, don’t leave it all to me. NSFW AND SEXUALITY

           I’m a bit grey when it comes to the area of smut, I won’t write sex……..but describing situations for my characters I can do if it means teasing my RP partners muse. So NSFW will happen but open smut won’t……if that makes sense.

          ALL of my characters are within the LGBTQ+ community, I don’t even know why, they just come to me like that: The Snarts and Axel are Pan, Mick, Kara, Winn, Harry and Isabelle are Bi, while Hartley is gay and Gideon is Asexual

           Please tag your NSFW stuff, if you don’t then I will unfollow you. I have a nine year old sister who walks into my room without knocking so for NSFW stuff to appear on my dash……that would end bad.

SHIPPING!

         I am a multiship blog.

          I LOVE both platonic, familial and romantic ships.

          I’m open to new ships and will try anything as long as there is chemistry there and as long as it’s not incestuous.

          HOWEVER, I will NOT ship anyone other than Rip Hunter with Gideon, and that’s because of the chemistry they have on screen, not only that but the only Rip that I would romantically ship Gideon with is my main Rip as long as they are open to it. I will not ship her sexually with anyone because she is an AI, she is not human, no matter how human she acts. Whatever ship Gideon will have will be either platonic or familial

           I will be creating tags for my ships so that I have subverses for my main verses just to make things easier (even though it’s more complicated to do)

Crossovers

          I AM crossover friendly, however, there are only a few that I feel comfortable enough to do with my muses due to their medium and their backgrounds.

         Crossovers I am willing to do include (this list may be added too in time):

                 Prison Break

                 Doctor Who

                 Marvel (in moderation)

                 Leverage

                 Firefly 

[aaroncutler]

Sunrise as Comedy [by David Kalat]

June 11th: The following text was written by film critic and historian David Kalat on the occasion of this year’s F.W. Murnau retrospective at the Brazilian festival Olhar de Cinema. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans screens in the festival June 11th and 12th. More information about the retrospective can be found in English at http://olhardecinema.com.br/2017/en/2017/retrospective-f-w-murnau/ and http://olhardecinema.com.br/2017/en/screenings-2/#.retrospective, and in Portuguese at http://olhardecinema.com.br/2017/2017/olhar-retrospectivo-f-w-murnau/ and http://olhardecinema.com.br/2017/filmes/#.olhar-retrospectivo.

Friedrich Wilhelm Murnau’s Sunrise is the dictionary definition of a classic film. It won (for all intents and purposes) the first ever Academy Award, has been placed on the National Registry, and was the first silent film put out on Blu-Ray.  It routinely places in “Best Of” lists, it’s a picture whose artistry is intended to be accessible to mass audiences.  It is conventionally beautiful, conventionally narrative, conventionally stirring.  It needs no apologies or excuses, it’s just excellent in every way.  

But did you know it was a comedy?

Consider the basic premise: Sunrise presents a sexy, vampish “Woman of the City” who invades a rural idyll where her very presence corrupts a naïve young man.  In order to pursue this temptress, the young man comes to believe his only escape from his existing small-town romance is to kill his girl, which he utterly fails to accomplish, and thereby sets in motion the plot developments of the rest of the film.

Just six months before Sunrise hit theaters, American audiences saw the exact same plot in Harry Langdon’s comedy Long Pants!

In this context, it’s worth remembering that Langdon’s film crossed enough taboos (or do I mean tabus?) that some audiences didn’t find it funny at all.  Meanwhile, Murnau does pitch Sunrise like a comedy, and its contents are not very much distinguishable from what constituted comedies of the same period. For example, Sunrise’s main characters go on a date to a carnival, where they run into money problems and an out-of-control animal (see Harold Lloyd’s Speedy), and the film climaxes with a catastrophic storm (see Buster Keaton’s Steamboat Bill, Jr.)

The young man (George O’Brien) rows out to the middle of the lake with his trusting wife (Janet Gaynor) where he intends to drown her.  But when push comes to shove, as it were, he loses his resolve and rows mindlessly to the opposite shore, where they board a trolley car.  And in one of the most astonishing sequences in all of cinema, the shell-shocked couple gather their wits as they are transported from what might as well be a medieval village straight out of Nosferatu through a forest to an industrial patch and finally arriving in a futuristic Metropolis, all in the span of a couple of minutes.  There is no such trolley ride anywhere in the world—this thing might as well be a time machine.

The transformation is absolute.  The opening scenes take place in a silent movie world of exaggerated gestures and portentous symbolism.  But the city reveals more naturalistic acting, more observational in tone.  And the city scenes are obsessed with the details of the setting—the cars, the clothes, the architecture, the store fronts, the people-watching, the traffic.

Dramas do not often get bogged down in such observational fascination with their setting.  Although it happens sometimes (as with the semi-documentary approach of Billy Wilder’s People on Sunday, or perhaps Robert Wise’s Star Trek: The Motion Picture), this is a technique more familiar from comedies, where the observational detail is part of establishing the ironic commentary. Think Jacques Tati’s Playtime, or Chaplin’s City Lights, or Jean Renoir’s Boudou Saved From Drowning, or just about anything by Harold Lloyd.

Murnau introduces two outsiders into this cityscape—scraggly, haggard refugees from a horror film who have stumbled into this world in a state of high emotional dudgeon and will encounter it as if they are visitors from another planet. Again, the parallel is to a comedy’s structure, with the outsider hero(es) providing for a commentary on the world around them.  Charlie Chaplin rarely stumbled into any of his adventures after a botched murder attempt, but all Murnau has done is to provide a context for his protagonists’ alienation where someone like Chaplin uses his costume as a shortcut to the same ends.  Like Boudou or Mr. Hulot, George and Janet are outsiders invading this space.  We will witness its familiar contours through their eyes.

Setting in a film in the juxtaposition of old versus new has been a central recurring feature of many important comedies (Steamboat Bill, Jr., Mon Oncle, Modern Times, Yoyo) and also specifically places Sunrise squarely in the zeitgeist of late 1920s comedy.

For example, consider what happens once George and Janet arrive in the city.  They proceed to stumble from one episodic set-piece to another. In one of these, they crash a wedding ceremony and are overwhelmed by the moment (wedding vows take on an eerie significance when juxtaposed with trying to kill your wife).  George breaks down, begs for forgiveness, and the two stagger into the street in a romantic haze.  In another transformation of setting not unlike the trollycar ride that brought them here in the first place, they lose track of where they are and see themselves in the fields of home—until car horns bring them back to reality.  And what ensues?  Slapstick havoc in the middle of traffic, that’s what—a punchline, just like you’d expect.  Traffic-based gags abound in comedies of this era.  The scene emphasizes the modern tribulation of city streets packed with noisy cars going every which way.

Observations on the comic aspects of traffic are fundamentally the stuff of movie comedy. Thanks to the coincidence of the age of movies and the age of cars, there wouldn’t have been much to say about traffic prior to the dawn of film.  It doesn’t really belong in any other medium.  Paintings can’t capture the movement well; theatrical performances can hardly stage this indoors; no one would write a book about traffic because it isn’t a literary subject--but 1920s comedians put such material into movies all the time. 

Pointedly, Sunrise does not view this transformation from rural life to modernity as a bad thing.  It seems to be tilting that way in its early scenes, the way the evil vamp is called “Woman of the City,” as if her corruption is connected to her sophistication. Once George and Janet arrive in that city, however, what they find is wonder, fun, and welcoming strangers. The city folk are sometimes a little perplexed by the two rubes, but never in a mean way—and no matter what George and Janet do or misunderstand or break, they are greeted by smiles and tolerance.

Sunrise shows how the new world, threatening as it is to the old, doesn’t have to lead exclusively to corruption—it is possible to navigate your way through this modern world and still come out morally whole.  As such, Sunrise is about hope in the face of wrenching change.

As it happens, 1920s screen comedy was itself undergoing a wrenching change, metamorphosing from silent physical slapstick to a new talkie genre of romantic comedy.  The solo comedians of slapstick’s Golden Age had to make way for a new breed of female stars, who took equal footing with their male costars.  The end product of that transformation would be the screwball comedy, whose genre conventions presuppose flirtation as a form of combat, or vice versa.  The stars of 1930s romantic comedies “meet cute” and engage in reel after reel of open combat, before discovering that hate is just a variation on love; you have to really care for somebody deeply to want to fight them that badly.  Fists give way to embraces and the former opponents end up in each other’s arms.

This is, you may note, the template of Sunrise—in which the couple starts off as opposed to one another as humanly possible, and end up as tightly allied as conceivable.

Sunrise is not just structured like a comedy, it is absolutely jam-packed with comedy actors.  Janet Gaynor, the female lead, was a fairly inexperienced young actress whose resume before showing up here largely consisted of comedy work—Laurel and Hardy’s 45 Minutes From Hollywood, Syd Chaplin’s Oh What a Nurse, Clara Bow’s The Plastic Age, Charley Chase’s All Wet, and various and sundry Hal Roach one-offs.

Once she and her hubby/attempted murderer George O’Brien make their way into the city, they spend the rest of the film encountering comic actors: Ralph Sipperly, the Barber, came from Fox’s own comedy shorts division.  Jane Winton, the Manicure Girl, came from such comedies as Footloose Widows, Why Girls Go Back Home, and Millionaires.  Then there are the Obtrusive Gentleman (Arthur Housman) and the Obliging Gentleman (Eddie Boland).  Both Housman and Boland were small-time comedy stars who were brand names in their own right, having top-lined their own respective series of comedy shorts.

On top of all the comic actors, there are actual jokes: the wedding reception mistaking the peasant couple for the bride and groom, the business at the photographer’s and the headless statue, the comic misunderstandings at the salon, and a drunken pig!

This is a “silent film” in that no dialogue is spoken, but it has a synchronized soundtrack that includes sound effects and music, and sure enough the various slapstick punchlines get their little “boing!” and “wah-wah” music cues just like you’d expect. 

Murnau’s allegiance with the world of comedy continued in the follow-up feature to Sunrise, City Girl (whose title, a riff on “Woman of the City,” signals from the outset its agenda vis a vis Sunrise).  City Girl opens with a scene in which a rube on a train unwisely reveals a fat bankroll and his own unwary attitude towards his money, rendering him an easy mark for the attention of a grafter.  And once again we find Murnau pulling plot points from the films of Harry Langdon—in this case, the short Lucky Stars.

Murnau stuffed the cast of City Girl with comedy veterans, too: Eddie Boland is back (briefly); Guinn “Big Boy” Williams was a regular supporting actor in silent and talkie comedies (including the brilliant Ladies Night in a Turkish Bath with Jimmy Finlayson); David Torrence earned his slapstick comedy credentials a few years after working with Murnau, in the Laurel and Hardy film Bonnie Scotland; and Richard Alexander was on the front end of what would prove to be a wildly varied career that included Harry Langdon’s See America Thirst, as well as Laurel and Hardy’s Them Thar Hills and Babes In Toyland.

Finding such comedy references in a Murnau film may be jarring to those who think of him only in terms of Nosferatu and other grim fables.  That may be a sizeable contingent, I realize.  It is generally the tendency of critics who write about Murnau’s films to identify the comic elements as something imposed on Murnau against his wishes by the studio in an effort to Americanize and popularize his films.

The primary English language text on Murnau is Lotte Eisner’s The Haunted Screen — the very title of which signals its preoccupations and prejudices when it comes to Murnau.  And so in her fealty to those prejudices, Eisner skips over, dismisses, or otherwise brushes under the rug any of Murnau’s works that don’t fit the bill.

Lotte Eisner suggests that all these tawdry jokes were inserted into Sunrise by Fox gag men and Murnau was obliged to go along with them.  Hey, but wait a minute–Sunrise was famously made without studio interference, and even after his falling out with Fox, Murnau never said that Sunrise was anything other than a work of total creative freedom.  You can’t have your cake and eat it too—you can’t say Murnau had total creative freedom but he also had to tolerate jokes inserted into the script against his will. If Sunrise was Murnau’s vision, his vision was prone to flirt with comedy.

Now might be the time to note, ahem, that The Last Laugh has its own comic elements, in which a bleak story comes to a tragic end, and then reboots itself as a comedy for its final reel—inspiring the English language title.

For that matter, Murnau made The Finances of the Grand Duke, a mild action-comedy about a master thief that in many ways anticipates similar lighthearted fare along the lines of Arsène Lupin or To Catch a Thief or a fair chunk of Steven Soderbergh’s back catalog.

The magic of Murnau is that his genius was not limited to vampires and demons—the man was also gifted with a deft comic touch.  Sunrise is Murnau’s comedy masterpiece.

[sjteazer310]

CONFESSIONS OF A GAS STATION EMPLOYEE Before I get into this topic I must declare a couple items. I am very good at what I do in this specific job and I will not say the name or location of where these items occur. These items DO NOT represent all gas stations/employee practices or experiences. These items do not represent the company you may know I work for. All of these items are indeed true and I have experienced numerous times. They are listed for fun so enjoy. Here it goes… 1) If you argue with us for a mistake you made but blame on us such as saying the wrong pump number ITS YOUR FAULT, not mine. You piss me off more than you would if someone took your gas money because you cannot remember or fail to say the right pump number for your pre-payment of gas. As soon as you leave we will talk bad and joke about you, sorry. 2) SMOKERS piss us off often on the fact that some are semi-mindless when asking for what they need and make us walk around more than we need to. Its bad enough we don’t have breaks in this job and you aren’t specific on what you need. PLEASE STOP DOING THIS: “I need a box of Newports please” -scans the cigs- “oh sorry I meant Newports 100’s” -walks back to change size-…..OMG customers will never know how aggravating that really is all day. 3) People under 30 that look young know they will get ID for beer and cigs but give us a hard time when we ask for it. Just show us the dam thing you know the laws. 50-75% of customers get angry for us asking…ITS MY DAM JOB TO DO IT and we get tested by the police almost once a week. Sometimes when you get flustered about digging in your pocket for it we just can’t wait to see an underage/fake ID so we can say GTFO. 4) We hand you change into your hands please give us the money the same way. I do not know if this occurs in other retail like places but its highly dis-respectful to toss money on the counter but expect us to put change in your hand. If I really didn’t need my job I would throw the change at you the same way you toss it on the counter as if you don’t care. I haven’t identified why people do that… But it sucks! 5) We do make an honest effort to get rid of old items in the store but take into account my store has thousands of items. About 110,000 dollars worth of merchandise to keep track of while people at home sometimes don’t even check their own food in their fridge. Effort counts right. 6) Its not that we intentionally leave old food on the roller grill/hot case there are so much things to do as a gas station employee that it slips our mind to throw away old items and put new ones. this happens RARELY but we do our best to keep track of temperatures and how long stuff has been there. Undercooked is worse then a 4 hour hot dog so people know. 7) We love to kick people off the property that are begging for money. I can justify this because its a breach of personal safety when people are approaching you in such situations as a station. If there are frequent beggars around it will scare customers away. The job as stated sucks and we have no breaks so its fun to yell at people to get off the property. 8) hmm I guess I haven’t stated it yet but somehow most busy gas stations don't have lunch breaks nor 15 rest periods like conventional jobs do. People don’t know this and think our job is a piece of cake. Well maybe if we were like Chevron or Shell station that gets to sit on a stool by a window all night but we are open 24/7 with 300-1500 per 8 hour shift. Therefore there are no breaks unless you eat something. Most likely you have to eat fast because there is much to do. 9) We may say its ok accidents happen when you spill a large drink all over but it simply just pisses us off and reminds us of how much janitorial we are. 10) We are tired of people short changing us as if its ok not to pay tax on purchases. We do not make the prices nor have control over how items are taxed at this store. Therefore if your purchase is 1.05 and you come here often BRING YOUR DAM NICKEL. Makes me sick when I witness customers with pocket full of cash but they don’t want to give 2 dollars for a 1.05 purchase. They rather say I only have a dollar. I would like to say then GTFO if you don’t have the 5 cents but the owner said don’t worry about it (the hell I don’t want my register short). If your are nice like many female customers are I let you slide on occasions (not sexist but women are more honest). 11) We are not afraid to call the police for most any reason so please don’t cause trouble. We just want to get through our shift without issues but you will be surprised how many things come up each day. 12) STOP coming into our store with no shirt on. I don’t care how in shape you are it scares away customers. Some reason we cannot post a sign that says no shirt no shoes, no service…I would like to tell these people GTFO but I can’t. 13) The only reason we watch you closely when you enter the store is to make sure you are not plotting to hurt and rob us. Well mainly hurt us we don’t care if you take the money. I have heard of other places of the clerk getting shot after the register opened. Tell you the truth I don’t give a dam if you take anything. I just want to live through my shift without being dead/hurt. The way we are behind the counter we cannot stop you if you steal and we can’t and do not want to run after people. This fact stated people are not suppose to know ha. 14) We are not in the mood for your small talk of non-sense when there is a line of customers or at night when there is stuff to do. We can care less about anything you rant to us like a situation you came from or where you are going. We do enjoy joking or talking when situations permit. Don’t hold me up with non-sense talk (I am having trouble making a direct example). 15) Understand that we are overworked so mistakes can happen when we are helping 300-1500 per shift, and clean, and cook, and stock, and deal with issues. Remember we aren’t a chevron or shell station that just sits on a stool all day. 15) Please stop comparing our prices to wal-mart we don’t care nor have control over price setting. Wal-mart has better bulk purchasing power than we do therefore can sell things cheaper. STOP complaining “oh I can get this cheaper at Wal-Mart”. I DON’T CARE THEN GO THERE PLZ K THANX. Hearing you rant about prices is too much on top of how this job sucks. 16) If you card declines its DECLINED. Don’t argue with me for what the register tells me and you. I don’t care if you show me your bank account from your phone. If it doesn’t process then we cannot do anything about it. 17) We do not know what phone cards work for what countries nor if its good or not. So stop asking we know as much as you do. Besides we hardly sell them anyways. 18) If you enter the store quietly and we are working on something say you are there. Our door bell stopped working when people enter so sometimes people slip into the store and then get pissed for waiting at the counter. WE CANNOT HEAR YOU ENTER with all them dam machines running. Stop getting flustered for this fact. We are not ignoring you, say something. There’s much work to do at night unlike other stations that sits on a stool all night. 19) We do enjoy talking to you and making you smile. 1 nice customer can make a bad day turnaround. Just as 1 nasty customer can ruin our whole day... If your having a bad day dont take it out on us its not our fault. Remember we can give as good as we get. 20) Is it so hard to say please and thank you? C-mon we deserve a little common courtesy. After all we are here to help you and kindness is something you want in return from us right? Remember treat people the way you want to be treated. We are not less of a person because we work in a gas station. We are working and paying bills the same way you are. I guess some people dont see it that way. 21) Our counter and floor is not a trash can. Im not your mother, your personal maid or a janitor. Im not paid enough for that. And please dont bring all your garbege from your car into our store and stuff our trash cans. There are bigger more suitable trash cans outside the store. 22) How you going to come in here and spend less than 5.00 dollars and want to break a 100.00 bill? Is there a sign that says Wells Fargo or Bank Of America? We are a gas station and such shouldnt be having large bills in the first place just in case of incidents. The customer we help after you may see that bill and who knows what they are thinking... I know its a leap but hey things happen... Oh and half the time the customer almost always has a smaller bill. Hey at least ask us first if we can break it instead of throwing it on the counter and not in our hands! 23) Why do customers insist on getting mad at us when we clean the bathroom? Everyone wants a clean bathroom so we clean it every so often thoroughly but when customers keep coming in and out it makes it so much harder and the more you complain the longer it will take us. Do you want there to be toilet paper or not? C-mon why complicate things. 24) We also fill propane at my employment and it amazes me how customers demand it "I need propane" or "Gimme propane" Like its a right or something. Then after we go outside and pump your tank we dont even get a thank you? Wow some people have no manners. Where were you raised? Because I was raised to treat others with respect and to say Please, Thank you and your Welcome. May seem small and petty but it makes a difference. 25) Scratchers... I cannot see when you point to the case from the customer side "I want this one" while tapping on the case. Or gimme crossword or bingo. We have 4 crossroads and 2 bingos. Hello! The scratchers are numbered 1-25. If i can see it you can see it. Very frustrating but I will give you a hard time and ask you what number is that scratcher and make you look even though I know which scratcher your asking for... 26) There are 2 registers here. Im standing at mine why must you go to the one thats empty? As I stand here and watch you then you say oh over there. I just wanna say no im standing here for my health Duh! Who knows maybe Casper will ring you up. I don't see him but maybe you do? Well that is all I could think of for now. But believe me my job is never dull and something will happen that I will have to mention. Keeps things interesting. That was Confessions Of A Gas Station Employee...