#it's not her fault that I'm an insecure lil shit and she said shes never doubted her self-worth

[maria-eve-falcon]

Astrologically speaking, the way she felt kinda tracks..

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cnc3vqZL25l/

An excerpt:

Joe's Venus in Pisces is capable of a very iconic, all-consuming, unconditional and potentially endless love. Their Venus/Pallas conjunction playing out in Taylor's 4th house, which represents the domestic sphere, stresses once more that he really likes her for her, and not for her stardom. ⚪ But is it all picture-perfect between these two? Probably not. Their Venus/moon square indicates that Taylor sometimes doesn't feel "properly" loved by him. With his Venus in Pisces, Taylor might sometimes perceive Joe as distracted or might feel like she isn't in the center of his attention or even on his radar. ⚪ He might appear elusive at times and erratic in his way to show her his love. With Taylor being a Cancer moon (wanting to care for others and to be cared for; easily irritated by the behavior of others; needing to feel loved and secure), this might cause trouble in paradise,

Omg omg I agree! I also think that she is very complex when it comes to love cause she mind not want it overdone but she feels not properly loved easily.

Sorry took a me a long time to see this ask anon.

Ik shit bout atrology but this person seems accurate. Also thank you sooo much for the excerpt.  The things they pointed out (I could see much cause I have no insta, thanks for the excerpt again)

Seemed quite there, also this made me smile:

So, I think I totally almost totally agree with antphodite here.so imma share this too

https://youtu.be/nktwP_c085c

ik shit bout astrology but Joe seems to me like a person Who knows what he wants, is secure idk what level and yes. I feel he is a very bad communicator.  Cause he goes like , "I feel weird" instead of going like "I don't like it. Or I hate this "

I also think as I've been a fan of tay longer than joseph, she's the typa person who is pretty insecure. Maybe I'm projecting but, I feel she's the type to go "if he says he loves me...for...me.... is he for real?" And when someone goes like, "No it is for real" she won't believe easily. Like I do that too cause the crappy shits that have Happened before. And she already makes up her mind. That can be overwhelming for a person like joe who seems very calm and quiet but confident.  Tay is the exact type to be like "I'll search for your darkside even tho I'm alright here." But hen again it's not her fault cause crappy relationships and it's not his fault that he wants just to relax sometimes and not give in to her bs or over thinking tendencies. I also think she has a hard time adjusting as she has said in nothing new and other songs. Since she got to know that someday this fame won't be here. So...

But I hope she realizes that these 70k people or more all around the world will never know her . Like will never really know her. At they end of the day , they won't matter. This fame, it won't matter except that it lets her earn money. ,(don't come at me cause it's true. I'd rather have one true friend than millions of dollars and thousand of people who'll never know me)( not strictly about swiftwyn)

As antiphodite,  I also had a feeling like she's gonna be like "this fame took everything from me lil by lil" for a very long time.  I hope she realizes or it'll be too late too soon.

I hope happiness for all and soon

[laencore]

broken promise

Alex: I'm not proud of you.

I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. To hear that from the person you love most in life, she tore right thru me.

I've been with Alex for 6 years and she's the love of my life but there has been few occasions (5 she's been counting), where I have made her feel insecure, unhappy... I've made her feel like shit. She doesn't trust me. Before I say anymore, let me take you way back where this started.

Alex and I met in high school. It was a new school where I had no friends but two cousins Steph and Miguel. Thank God for them if not high school would of been a really dark place. Miguel and I were the new kids in school oh and a couple hundred since 2006 is where all California decided to more to Texas.

Steph already had been there and had a few friends and one of those friends was Alex. From an outsieders view Alex seems to be one of those girls that liked you if you were convenient, if not she would pay no mind. After getting not know her, I found out that she came from a family with great morals, someone who treats people like she wants to be treated and feel respect. We stayed friends all thru high school. I started noticing her differently after that. I developed felling along the way. Certain thing she would do I became in love with. For example, she's a pusher but in a good way, she pushes people to do their best. She's the type to cheer at a pool table game, even if you made the eight ball when your not suppose to. She's the most confident person, she goes into situation that are new to her with no doubt and if their is fear, i've never seen it. Never in a million year would i think this girl and I would be more than friends. I don't know how she decided to be mine but she is.

I have had this friend since high school, Celia. When Alex and I became boo's, Alex became insterested in knowing Celia. They both became friends and everything was great, if Alex and I were planning to go out or do something, we decided to invite her. Not that she tagged along all the time but everyone was good. The first year of our relationship I didn't know how to express emotions all that well, Alex and I called it quits. It was my first real relationship, even though Alex says it wasn't that serious, I cried like a lil' bitch that night.

Celia being a friend, she would be there. She would be the person i would vent to about everything that was happening. A few weeks passed and on of my cousin's, Miguel, would be turning 22 and decided to celebrate this birthday at this bar called SoHo in the middle of downtown San Antonio. I asked Celia if she wanted to drive together since she was invited too. The truth was, that asked for her to go with me because I knew Alex was going to be there.

Celia and I were one of the first ones there, we waited for everyone to get there. We sat on a table that faced the bar but you were able see the coming in. I saw her walking by, Celia and I both said "Hey Alex!" Nothing, not even a glance at our direction. Celia and I said to each other, "Fuck it, lets just have a good time." And we did. Celia was always there and so was I. She was a little boy crazy. If she was feeling down, I was there to cheer her up because she was there for me.

A few months after that, Miguel was graduating for community college and he wanted our group of friends (which pushed me aside for Alex) to have dinner at Piranha. Celia wasn't invited because her ex-boyfirend was dating a new girl and well Miggs (Miguel) is a no beef type of guy. I was sitting next to Kurk and Ed, which was Celia's ex boyfriend. He started talking about the Air Force since he had enrolled a few years back and hadn't seen him in a while. The door opens and I hear her laugh. I could feel peoples eye looking my way. I grab my drink and i sip my gin and tonic because that's what Colin Firth and Julianne Moore drank in, A Single Man, one of my favorite movies.

Still talking to Ed and Kurk, I'm eavesdropping on Alex's conversation with the group. She just flew in from Tempe, Arizona where she was working as a trainer for a call center for JP Morgan Chase. I looked up and said the first thing that came to mind, "How's the weather over there?"

She relied, "It was good, it's usually pretty cold."

We continue to talk asking each other how we've been... small talk. After everyone was caught up with each others lives and done with eating, Miggs, decides we should all go to Bar Louie to continue the celebration.

Some of us got there before others, Miggs and Johnny and I were the first ones there. They both say to me, "That went well." I reply, "What do you mean?" They continue, "You and Alex." I looked confused "What were we supposed to do, fight with each other, cause a scene? I don't think we're that type of people." Miggs and Johnny get closer "We're just happy everyone is getting along. It's been hard since you and Alex have slit. Sometimes we're not sure if we should invite you or her or both of you guys to things." I get louder. "Is that why I haven't been invited to go out with you asshole!?!" Both of them, "Yes! It's been hard, you guys left us in an uncomfortable spot."

Alex gets there about ten minutes after we did, we all get drinks and it feels less tense. Everyones laughing and telling stories of all the things we've done together. The times we've gone on our mini rode trips, the many wild nights at The House of Scum. The House of Scum was the home of Ed, Johnny and Miggs. They were in their early 20's and i think Ed was 19, you can only imagine what's happened there. No rules and no fucks given, good times.

The more and more Alex and I spoke, I knew I never stop loving her. Her laughter, her smell, the way she looks at you when you got her undivided attention. She makes you feel calm even if your in a bar full of people and a DJ blasting music. I knew she was the one. And that night was the night I was going to confront Alex. I knew I still had feelings for her and I didn't know if she had any feeling for me anymore but I was going to get her alone so we could talk. I leaned in and asked her is we could go somewhere we could talk. "Okay," that's was she said.

We walked out of the bar and she locked arms with me. Thinking to myself, "I might still have a chance." It was too cold to stay outside. We went to the nearest car with was her truck. She put the heater, we talk about how our year had gone, we both did a little bit of traveling which was our new obsession. I've always gone to Mexico to visit family but that year my brother and I had gone to Mexico by ourselves where we didn't know anyone and it was a life changing experience. She had traveled too and she told me she went to New York City and I was instantly jealous. I've always wanting to got to NYC and never did and here she knew how much I wanted to go. I had so many questions for her. After a few minutes I asked, "Why did it take so long to talk to each other?" asking her while rubbing my hand together to keep warm. "We've been busy." her looking outside into the lights of the parking lot. "Sure but we've always been busy and that never stopped us before." She smiled and said, "You talk more." I looked confused and said, "Really, should I shut up now?" With a half laugh she said,"No, I like it." I asked, "Why did we even brake up?" She took a moment and said, "We broke up because you didn't talk about much, I didn't know how you felt about things. If you were happy or if you were upset. I was talking to myself sometimes." "I didn't want to argue of get upset at things that don't feel worth getting mad over. I just rather enjoy our time together when we were together." "You would only talk about how you and Celia went to this place, how you did this or that. If you would get upset you would vent to her. Where was I in all of this? It would never be me." "I guess I never noticed until now." Her, still looking at the lights,"That's why..." "Why did you ever tell me?" "I'm not going to tell you how to do things. You're suppose to make your own choices. Plus, I'm not going to ask you to loose a friend." "That's it though, she's just a friend and good friend. Everyone else took to your side, I didn't even know there was sides and fucking left me. The only person that stayed was her." She looked at me, "I'm sorry, I guess thats my fault. When anyone mentioned you, I didn't want to hear about you." "If you would of told me how you felt things would have gone differently." It was silent.

"Do you remember Miguel's birthday?" she asked. "Of course I do. I said hi and nothing." I look at her with a frown. She continues,"I had all the intention for us to talk but who was there right next to you? Her."

"I never knew you felt that way," while holding her hand

"Well know you know." Her hand were warm like they always been. Mine were like popsicles, cold.

She got a phone call. She say, "I'm going with a co-workers party and Miggs is going with me but i want to see you tonight."

"Okay. What time?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, its a bit of a drive. I'll call you when I'm leaving the party. Stay up?" She asked with smile.

"Alright, I'll see you tonight." I told her.

A few hours passed and I get her text, "Are you up?"

I reply with a simple,"yup". I pull up to her drive way and see her in her car with. I get out of my car and knock at her window and she looked startled. She opens the car door and I whisper to her, "Why are you outside?" She whispers back, "Everyone's asleep and I don't want to wake them" We get into my back seat of the car. The stay up talking and in silence. She leans on my shoulder and says, "I missed you." I tuck her hair behind her ear and touch her face and say, "I missed us."

Since then, we've been together and that's been since 2012

The issue now is that I've betrayed my baby's trust. I've lied or kept where I've been going. While writing this i realized thats been an issue since we've broken up the first time. I've never cheated on Alex nor has that ever been an issue. There's nothing in this world more that I love than my Alex. I've always thought that i would do for her but I've failed. I'm willing to do anything to get her trust back. And it's hard to just tearing someone from your life but its harder for Alex to be torn by the person you love. I'm willing to sacrifice a friendship that hurts the person that I love. And I hope she can forgive me.

I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry, I stabbed you in the back when you weren't looking. I don't want to make up words and just say sorry because i've said them before. I broken the promise i made to you, i promised to never fail you, to follow you where ever you go. i'm sorry baby.