#it's one of those things where it's fine on tumblr bc tumblrinas GET IT bc NONE OF US are normal about our shows
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my friend watched banana fish and im actually.... kinda annoyed about it
#this is SO DUMB#but basically i did all the 'guys omg NEVER watch this show' with my mates when i finished bf#while secretly hoping one of them would watch it so we could talk about it#but like genuinely the longer it goes since i finished that godforsaken anime the more it matters to me?#like 'matters to me' is a bad way of wording it bc it makes it sound like a GOOD THING#and i mean it matters to me because it is so incredibly harmful to me individually#like i really fucking projected some serious trauma in my life into that show partially bc of the time i watched banana fish#and also just bc i see a lot of myself in ash which was something i realised in episode 1#which meant i watched the ENTIRE thing aware of this just to have THAT ending happen. it was really devastating#but at the same time im aware that 80% of the reason banana fish was so sad for me#is bc of my own personal lens i watched it through#the other 20% is just the fact it's an actual sad anime#so now my friend has watched it and she's doing all the 'oh that was so sad! let's talk about it!'#and im like idk how to tell you this but i CANNOT talk about it with you like i literally cant#and for the past few months my whole 'omg NEVER watch this show' has actually been 100% serious#like i do not want my friends touching this show it's MY thing it's very personal#which is why this is such a dumb post like im literally trying to claim this anime#but it's just actually kinda invalidating to have my close irls watch it in a very casual way#it's one of those things where it's fine on tumblr bc tumblrinas GET IT bc NONE OF US are normal about our shows#but people irl are so determined to consume media in a very normal way lmao#and basically my friend is going to start making out i overreacted i just know she is#and i cannot STAND even an insinuation that im being a baby about something but i also will prove her point#if i go off on one about WHY bf is such a big deal bc i'll just look defensive#does any of this make sense#tldr: sharing media that's important to you is nice but also it's Bad and i want to Gatekeep#banana fish#probably#delete later#bc this is pathetic LMAO
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