#it's the same energy of a guy playing so masculine and emotionless

[batri-jopa]

Act like a hard working, tough and reasonable young man:

Fall asleep on the ground waiting for your lover

Maurice (1987) dir. James Ivory / And Then We Danced (2019) dir. Levan Akin

[allthefeels22]

The masculine urge to slut it out.

This one is a rant, my friends. I'm about to talk some shit. I'm fucking tired of this dumb bullshit.

So I'm 34, a millennial if you will (eye roll)...anyway, never mind that. This emotionless way of dating is exhausting. I'm a hopeless romantic, I'm obsessed with that I can't live without you feeling along with super hot sex and you just can't stop fucking all the time in the beginning. You're just so obsessed with each other, I love that shit. So that's it, I'm obsessed with being obsessed with each other. But these mother fuckers out here are trash.....I'm fucking tired.

I literally was going to stop fucking with all my guys that keep close enough to benefit my selfish desire of affection but not really allowing myself to get too close at the same time. Temporary fulfillment, I was DONE with temporary fulfillment. Until, I started getting ghosted, like..what the fuck? This shit happened multiple times. My dear male friend told me, it's because I'm so strong in who I am that there isn't an insecurity for them to feed on, they arent used to women like me.

It wasn't until I chose to be emotionally available that I started getting my feelings hurt. And then I was like, what the fuck is this shit? And I decided that this is not how this was going down.

Back on my bullshit. Built that roster back up in like 3 days. I will date everybody until it's made perfectly clear that I am exclusive with someone. Which require them to do the most. I'm done settling for less. I'm a fucking trophy, they should all try to win me. The bare minimum is no longer acceptable. This vibe is not free anymore. I am special edition. So I'm forced to be hard and callused because these mother fuckers really be out hurting my feelings, so now I don't have any.

I use men for sex. Because I'm selfish. Because I'm a vixen, and I literally take what I want, because I can. I keep multiple guys around because what one won't do, another will. Why should I be left not satisfied, fulfilled or happy? Like play or be played. I'm being forced to pimp it out, I'm good at it, it's annoying and time consuming, but the attention is nice, I guess. But I just wanna simp it out too. It's a constant battle in my mind. I just don't want to get my feelings hurt again.

To protect my energy and radiance that come along with me, I've decided that continuing to play men before they play me is what is best for my mental health at this time.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.